Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Keith inhales sharply through his nose as he feels himself shake awake from the deep slumber he’s been enjoying, and for no particular reason at that. He blinks his eyes open but quickly closes them again, fully intending to go back to sleep.

A sudden, white-hot pain at the base of his spine ensures that he doesn’t. To his surprise, the unpleasant feeling dissipates as soon as it comes. However, it’s quickly replaced by an equally unnerving pressure and tightness in the center of his lower back, right above his buttocks.

What the hell, he thinks, trying to focus past the sleepiness. I’m too young for arthritis.

He reaches around, trying to find the source of his discomfort. His fingers brush against something, some weird kind of tube-like shape with a fleshy texture that seems to be… connected to his tailbone? It’s warm to the touch.

Without a better idea in his sleep-deprived head, he wraps his fingers tightly around the suspicious thing and yanks it full force.

And then he yelps in surprise.

Because he feels the yank too.

It is that night, at 2:19 a.m., Castleship Time, that Keith Kogane comes to an utterly terrifying realization.

I’ve grown a tail.

Keith opens his eyes wide, screams, and promptly falls out of the bed.

══════════════════

This– This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening.

There is no way that what he’s seeing and feeling is true and Keith knows it. It’s just one of those stupid, nonsensical dreams that he gets sometimes ( space madness, Lance calls it). Soon, he’s going to wake up and he’s going to be just fine and dandy and normal, as tail-less as ever.

He paces in circles around his small room, pinching his skin again and again until he leaves red marks all over his arm. He can still feel the tail, poking out from above his sweatpants.

Clenching his throat to prevent an embarrassing sob of frustration from escaping, he stumbles out of the door, deciding to seek the person he trusts most.

══════════════════

“Shiro! Open the fucking door! This is an emergency!”

Keith pounds at the door of his older brother’s room, sweat rolling down his temple. He glances around nervously multiple times, making sure that there’s absolutely no one else in this corridor aside from him.

Mortifyingly, he can feel the damn thing swinging and twitching behind him, as if it’s got a mind of its own.

At long last, the alien door clicks and  slides open. Keith taps his feet impatiently, huffing out a breath as he finally sees his brother standing in the threshold.

“What’s the matter, Keith? Are you hurt?” Shiro asks in a slightly panicked voice, still rubbing the remains of his sleep out of his eyes. He gives the boy a brief look-over, shoulders slumping slightly in relief as he discovers that Keith is not, in fact, covered in blood.

“What the fuck is this, Shiro?” Keith exclaims, pointing at his own behind.

Shiro blinks in surprise, his eyes finally falling to where the teen is pointing. He stares at his tail for a few long seconds before answering.

“That… seems to be a tail.”

“Why do I have a tail, Shiro?” He asks again, his voice sounding a bit calmer but no less flabbergasted.

“I, uh, don’t know.” Shiro sounds and looks just about as confused as Keith feels. “But I do know that you need someone to talk to right now.”

The man shifts to the side, an open invitation to enter his room, which Keith takes without hesitation. He stomps inside, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He wipes them away with his sleeve, rubbing, as if irritating his eyes can stop them from watering.

“I wake up, I feel a cramp in my back, I touch my back and I have a tail,” Keith stammers out in lieu of an explanation, voice all weird and shaky. He takes in a big breath, huffing it out half a second later.

He can feel himself hyperventilating. He tries to take in slow, rhythmic breaths, just like Shiro had taught him, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

“Keith, look at me, please,” says Shiro, standing two steps behind him.

The teen turns around tentatively, looking up at his brother with a trembling chin.

“Hey, kid.” The man’s mouth stretches into that warm, familiar smile as he places a warm hand on top of Keith’s shoulder. “Whatever this is and however it’s happened, it’s gonna be okay, I promise. Okay?”

Keith nods quickly, feeling himself calm down a bit, as he tends to do in Shiro’s presence.

“Come, sit down.”

Shiro leads him to the bed. He sits down, legs pressing close against the older Paladin’s. He tries his best to ignore the way his tail bends at a weird angle on top of the mattress, causing him discomfort.

Shiro rubs at his arm slowly, breathing in deeply and slowly exhaling, wordlessly instructing Keith to do the same. He follows his brother's instructions, soon feeling his own breath even out, almost returning to its normal state.

“Does your back hurt right now?” Shiro asks, searching his face.

Keith shakes his head. “No. It stung for like a second but then stopped.”

“Okay, that’s good. And the… tail just appeared in one piece at once?”

“As far as I can tell.” Keith shrugs. He can feel his own shoulders shaking, teeth chattering.

“You can feel it and everything?” Shiro presses further.

The teen just nods, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing shallowly. His throat closes up, any will to speak leaving his body.

“Hey,” Shiro smiles, getting his attention. Keith looks up and  watches as the man spreads his arms wide. “Hug?”

The teen immediately slumps forward, falling into his brother’s embrace. Shiro wraps his arms around him securely and begins stroking his hair with one hand.

They stay like that for what feels like hours to Keith but is more likely about ten minutes. He feels the man sigh against him, squeezing him tight once again before pulling away slightly.

“We’ll figure it out, Keith. I’m sure there’s an explanation for whatever is happening to you,” Shiro whispers, before he gently pats the boy’s cheek. “I’m gonna get you some water, okay?”

Keith nods, not trusting his voice to speak just yet. Shiro grabs his blanket, wrapping it around Keith’s shoulders like a cocoon.

“Be right back,” he smiles.

“Um, Shiro,” Keith croaks out, looking up at the older Paladin. “Can you bring me my plushie?”

He feels himself burning bright red up to the tips of his ears, as he always does when he acknowledges the existence of his stuffed animal. It’s embarrassing, even when the only person around has known him literally almost his entire life. Yet still… He may be almost an adult, but he’s very vulnerable right now and he needs the familiar piece of home with him right now, no matter what anyone says.

“Of course, Keith. Do you need anything else from your room?”

He swallows. “No. Just him.”

Despite himself, he can feel his tail twitching in what feels like excitement. He curses quietly.

Shiro leaves the room quietly, a promise to come back soon lingering on his lips. Keith slumps forward, falling onto the bed with his full bodyweight, the blanket covering his curled-up form.

══════════════════

Out of all the things that have happened to Keith in space, this is definitely the one he has the hardest time getting used to. And for obvious reasons.

His new tail feels all stiff and awkward, like it doesn’t belong there growing out of his tailbone (it doesn’t). Keith doesn’t have complete control over it. At the same time, it moves and flaps around against his will, bumping into things and getting snagged on furniture.

Showering is definitely the worst.

At first, he tries to ignore the thing entirely while enjoying the nice hot water after a long night of talking things out with Shiro. However, his tail still keeps swishing in the small, cramped space of the shower, spraying water and suds all around - including on Keith’s face.

Also, it seems like his body parts don’t care at all whether Keith decides to ignore them or not - they’re still getting sweaty and grimy throughout the day, he realizes dejectedly. And so, with the feeling of resignation, he reluctantly takes on the task of scrubbing his unruly tail clean.

Keith had a dog once. Briefly, for only a couple of days, before its owners noticed his poster and came to get their pet back. It was a Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy, covered in sand from the desert and mud from rolling around in puddles. Keith had to give him a thorough bath, which was definitely a teaching experience. He remembers soaping up the pup’s tail which wouldn’t stop wagging, getting Keith all wet in the process.

Now, washing his own tail is a completely different kind of thing. He stares at the appendage with its hair tip pathetically soaked, as if he can make it disappear if only he glares at it long enough.

══════════════════

“Lance found out,” Keith mumbles, munching on a nutritional bar as he sits with his legs criss-crossed on top of Shiro’s bed.

Shiro glances at him from above his Altean novel  in surprise, head tilted to the side. “Oh?”

“Yeah. He saw me in the kitchen while I was inhaling food like some kind of savage bushman. It was honestly a bit embarrassing.”

“Well, how did he react?” Shiro inquires, putting away his book for the sake of this conversation.

“My first instinct was to run away from him, so I did,” he says simply. This nutritional bar feels a bit too chewy and the texture is way off, but at the same time it tastes almost like coconut, which is Keith’s favorite. He cannot decide if he likes it or not. “Then he followed me to my room and knocked on the door until I let him in.”

A beat of silence passes between them. Shiro raises his eyebrows, sending the teen an expectant look.

“And?”

“We had a conversation,” Keith mumbles.

Another unspoken ‘and?’ hangs in the air. The dark-haired boy sighs.

“It went well. He didn’t make fun of me.” Keith finally finishes his snack. He crushes the weird Altean alternative to plastic in his hand, staring at it. “And he kind of actually made me feel better.”

“Well, isn’t that nice,” Shiro smiles at him, leaning back on the bed. Keith stares at him, a small frown forming on his mouth.

“That’s the thing,” he says, chucking the wrapper across the room, hearing his brother exclaim a small ‘hey!’ in protest. He reaches for his hippo plushie instead, squeezing it in his hands. “Lance is too nice and I can’t deal with it.”

He shuffles around on the bed and settles his butt a little bit closer to the edge so his tail can lay across the mattress more comfortably.

“Even when he’s teasing me or joking, he manages to make it sound so kind somehow. And it wasn’t always like this, obviously, he used to be straight up mean.” Keith winces at the memory of their early, not-so-friendly banter. “But now he reassures and comforts me and laughs with me instead of at me. He asked me how I was feeling, not just physically but also, like, mentally, you know? Took me by surprise. His words sound too nice and I can’t stand it!”

Keith huffs, tail flicking in frustration, its tip thumping against the wall. He scoots forward a bit more and glances towards Shiro.

“Sounds like someone’s got it bad for our Blue Paladin,” the man teases, wiggling his eyebrows at Keith.

“Watch your mouth, Shiro.”

“Watch your butt before you fall off the bed,” he retorts.

Keith only has half a second to react before he’s stumbling forward, limbs flailing as he lands almost face-first on the ground. He grumbles quiet curses under his breath as he scrambles to stand up.

Shiro laughs at his expense, the good older brother he is.

══════════════════

“Alright, team, we’re gonna have a break for ten doboshes,” Shiro’s voice crackles through their comms. “Let your Lions stretch their legs a bit. We’ll regroup near that stone arch up north.”

Keith sighs, allowing himself to relax in his pilot’s seat as he gives Red free reins. The Lion, seemingly as exhausted from trying the new formation as he is, only paces around for a minute or two before sitting on the sand and stilling completely. In the windshield, he sees Blue and Yellow engaging in some sort of race for a bit, before they too settle down.

“Good girl,” he chuckles, petting the control panel affectionately. He feels Red purr at the back of his mind in response. “You did a good job, have some rest.”

Suddenly, his comms ping him a signal again. He glances up, seeing a request for a private call from Shiro. Without much further ado, he accepts.

“Hey, kid. How are you feeling?” Shiro smiles at him through the video feed.

“Eh, exhausted from training but still pretty good.” Keith shrugs, slumping a bit more in his seat. “Why?”

“I just wanted to check in on you since we haven’t really had time to talk since you told the team about your new… thing,” Shiro says awkwardly, wincing at his own choice of words. Keith just chuckles. “They didn’t bother you too much, did they?”

“Not at all, they took it pretty well. Just make sure that Pidge doesn’t try to sneak up on me in the middle of the night and run experiments on my tail.”

Shiro laughs, bright and open. “Alright, I’ll have a talk with her if she tries anything.”

He pauses for a bit, staring at the Red Paladin with his head tilted to his side.

“Guess now we both have a new body part we have to get used to, huh?” He says sheepishly, waving his Galra arm around, which causes Keith to crack a small laugh. “But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be okay, no matter what happens. Just remember than you can always talk to me if you want.”

Keith’s mouth stretches into a small smile at how concerned about him the older Paladin is feeling. “Hey, Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a good brother.”

“Thanks. You, too,” the man says with fondness reserved only for his sibling. They stay like that for a second, and then: “Remember you still owe me those twenty bucks from three years ago.”

Keith huffs. “Asshole.”

Chapter Text

Keith wakes up in a foul mood.

First of all, he wakes up at the space equivalent of 4 a.m. That’s bad enough. He tosses and turns and tangles all of his limbs into the sheets (including his goddamn tail), but he’s unable to fall back asleep no matter how hard he tries. His heart pounds a mile a minute in his chest, hard and heavy as though it wants to rip itself out of it. He can’t seem to calm it down, not even with Shiro’s breathing exercises.

Moreover, what’s even worse is the Feeling that settles inside his chest, right below his sternum. It’s a Feeling with a capital ‘F’, for it crushes his lungs and chokes him, dulling out all of his senses.

You know the sense of impending doom just before you’re about to get a panic attack?

It’s like that, but somehow even worse.

He tries to do something to make it pass. Digging his fingernails into his forearm until it’s bleeding doesn’t help. Stuffing his head under the pillow and screaming into the mattress doesn’t help. Pacing around his room doesn’t help.

Keith gets up from his bed with a heavy sigh on his lips. Without any better ideas in his mind, he exits his bedroom and makes his way towards the training room.

Slashing his way through droid after droid and letting the bots beat him until he’s bruised head to toe in return usually helps him in moments like this. It ought to help now.

It’s four-fucking-a.m., a sour voice at the back of his mind reminds him. Keith pushes it aside as he sets up a training sequence at the terminal.

══════════════════

Training helps… somewhat.

His heart is no longer beating like crazy, way too exhausted after the nearly two hour long battle against the droids. The post-training shower is blissful, allowing his mind to clear for about ten wonderful minutes after which he’s forced to rinse his hair and shut the water. Something about ‘conserving the Castle’s energy reserves’ or whatever Coran said that one time.

As Keith exits the communal bathroom, he stumbles upon Shiro. He’s not too surprised to see the man - Shiro has always been an early riser, waking up way before the sunrise even when they were back at the Garrison. It only figures that his sleeping habits stuck after getting flown off into space. That, or it’s the nightmares.

“Hi,” Keith greets, smiling up at his brother. “Where are you going?”

“Oh, the Archives. Allura mentioned she needed some help with the mission reports last night, and since I’m already up…” Shiro chuckles sheepishly as he rubs at the back of his neck. “More importantly, why are you up so early?”

Keith crosses his arms over his chest and sighs. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Bad dream?” Shiro asks gently, tilting his head to the side.

“Not that. Just…” He gestures around wildly, flailing his hands, unable to get his point across. He gives up, his shoulders slumping. “I feel bad. Awful, really. I don’t know why. Don’t know how to really describe it besides Bad. I thought beating the shit out of some training droids would help, but… Well, at least it made me stop feeling like I’m on the verge of a heart attack.”

The older man’s eyes widen in worry as Keith realizes that his words sounded probably a little bit concerning.

“But I’m fine now!” Keith adds quickly, raising his hands in an innocent gesture. Then, he clutches one of them around his other forearm protectively. “It’s probably just… one of those days, you know.”

He feels a warmth on his arm as Shiro squeezes it affectionately.

“I understand,” the Black Paladin says. “If you want to talk about it or something, I’ll be in the hangar after I finish up those reports; Black needs a little fixing-up here and there. Come and find me if you feel like venting, alright?”

Keith smiles, holding his brother’s gentle gaze. How grateful he is for this man.

“Alright, Shiro. Thanks.”

“Won’t hold you up now. Go get some breakfast, a lot of it. God knows you probably burned through your daily calories just with that training sesh.”

The teen chuckles as he sets his course onto the kitchen, just like Shiro asked him to.

══════════════════

He deals with his grumpy, sour, very icky, no-good mood for almost half a day before Lance finds him.

The taller boy is leaning against the wall of the corridor, shooting a flirty gaze in Keith’s direction as he passes by.

“Hey there, handsome,” Lance winks, getting his attention. “Maybe you’d fancy a little date? Just you, me, the spacious training room and plenty of droids. Sounds good, hmm?”

Keith chuckles at that as he turns to face his friend. It has taken him off-guard for the first couple of times, but he gets the drill by now - for whatever reason, Lance always acts flirty, as if he’s asking Keith out when he wants to train together.

It’s… adorable. If a bit frustrating.

Lance materializes his bayard at his side, which turns into his trusted rifle. He points it at Keith, chuckling as he shakes it a few times in an imitation of fake shots.

“Bang, bang, I shot you down, bang, bang, you hit the ground…” He sing-songs, smiling as he re-adjust his weapon. “Bang, bang, I shot my baby down.”

Keith cracks a grin of his own. “I don’t think that’s how this song goes.”

“Semantics. You up for a little bit of droid slashin’ and dashin’?”

As if Keith’s able to say ‘no’ to those blue eyes of his.

“You know it. What do you have in mind?”

“Yay!” Lance cheers, putting his bayard away. He jumps to Keith’s side, grabbing the boy by his bicep as he begins to explain excitedly. “So I want to do something like a battle royale, you know? I try to shoot at the droids but I also try to shoot at you, and you…”

Keith smiles as Lance relays his plan to him, using way too many sound effects and exaggerated hand gestures. It makes his mind stray away from his worries, if only for a little while. He’s glad.

══════════════════

The weird Feeling comes back like a tidal wave right in the middle of their training.

He’s trying his best to focus on fighting his way through the swarming droids, slashing his sword through them and shoulder-checking some of the more stubborn ones. It’s all going well so far, his and Lance’s scores keeping to pretty much a tie (though he still thinks Lance has an unfair advantage, with his long-range sniper rifle and whatnot), but then it hits him like a wave of nausea.

Keith tries to ignore it to the best of his ability, shoving it deep into the back of his mind - yet the Feeling persists. What’s worse, he suddenly starts experiencing some physical symptoms, like… well, nausea and sweaty palms.

He feels heavy and sluggish as he leaps over a fallen droid to get to the other one, his movements awkward and uncoordinated. He can hear himself panting heavily as the field of his view closes in on him, blurring at the sides.

Keith barely registers as a stun shot from Lance’s rifle slams against his chest plate, ringing out. He only takes a step forward dumbly, trying to get to the blue Paladin at the same time as the other boy is trying to get to him.

Lance is saying something, face bright and open in expression of happiness.

Unfortunately, whatever it is, Keith doesn’t hear it. He’s too busy passing out and hitting the ground with a dull thud.

══════════════════

Everything’s just a blur after that.

Keith mostly feels just… blissfully unconscious, like he’s having the most wonderful dream-less sleep in years. Or rather, what would be the most wonderful sleep if not for the shivers and flashes of cold intercepted by pangs of pain rippling throughout his whole body.

He comes to for roughly a minute or two, long enough to be served a small portion of liquid of some sort. Medication, he assumes. He remembers how his father used to wake him up in the middle of his fever to get him some nurofen, just like this.

The medicine tastes awful. He coughs and sputters, trying his best to throw it back up, but a gentle hand at his back - Shiro? - assures that he doesn’t. Spent and exhausted, he flops limply onto the bed, eagerly slipping back into the blissful nothingness.

It’s weird. He hasn’t been sick since he was ten.

Oh, well. His luck was bound to run out some day.

══════════════════

As awful and bitter as it tastes, the medicine does actually help. As he learns from Shiro, he’s got to thank Coran for this one.

Keith feels… actually rejuvenated for a change, once the weird space nurofen (Lance’s words) runs its course and he sleeps for a couple more hours. So rejuvenated, in fact, that he books it straight towards the training room as soon as he’s allowed out of the medbay.

“Just don’t… overexert yourself,” Shiro sighs, watching the younger Paladin tie his boots. He knows there’s nothing stopping the boy once he’s made up his mind.

“I’ll be careful!” Keith assures him, and just like that, he’s out of his room.

It feels really good to not feel like you’re dying.

══════════════════

And then it happens again .

Keith was so sure that he was fine. He felt actually energized and like the fog around his mind had been cleared up. When Shiro called them for some in-Lion training, he didn’t expect anything to go wrong at all.

… and then he collapses on his way to Red. One moment he’s running and then he isn’t. Just like that, lights out.

“Keith. Hey, can you hear me?”

He turns his head in the vague direction of the voice, eyes still squeezed shut. A cold hand is placed at his forehead, feeling his temperature.

“Hey, kid, open your eyes.”

Struggling, he finally peels one eye open, looking up at the familiar face. Shiro smiles at him, brushing his hair away from his sweaty temples.

“Jeez, you look terrible.”

Thanks, Shiro. Love you too.

“Come on, you have to scoot up a little bit,” his older brother says as he grasps Keith’s waist, hoisting him up against the mountain of pillows. The dark-haired boy looks around, taking in his surroundings. It seems that he’s back in his own room. Shiro probably carried him here. “You need to take the medicine.”

A small shot glass full of a vaguely blue, viscous liquid is placed right at his mouth. Keith grimaces as the medicine’s specific aroma reaches his sensitive nose.

“Eww, why do I have to take this again? Why is there… more than last time?” He rasps, wincing at how wrecked his own voice sounds.

“It helped you before. Maybe we just didn’t give you enough,” Shiro explains. He rubs a soothing hand up and down Keith’s sweaty back. “Come on, bottoms up.”

He swallows reluctantly, releasing a disgusted blehhh at the syrup’s icky taste.

══════════════════

Keith feels fine for an entire day.

══════════════════

And. Then. It. Happens. Again.

This time, he doesn’t remember, he doesn’t feel - anything. He doesn’t remember the sudden wave of nausea and lightheadedness hitting him while he still has shampoo in his hair. He doesn’t remember slipping, doesn’t remember falling. Doesn’t remember himself wrapping a soaked towel around his waist to preserve some sort of dignity.

He doesn’t remember Hunk’s scared scream as he finds him there, laying half-conscious on the wet shower floor. He doesn’t.

He does remember the quadruple dose of the Altean medicine. And it is every bit as awful as the two previous times.

Keith thinks he catches Lance’s gaze as the boy stares at him from across the dimmed medbay. Brows scrunched up and face paled in what can only be described as worry, he never wants to see his friend worried like this again. Not for him.

Never ever.

══════════════════

He’s been feverish and delirious for… five days? A week? Or maybe a whole month? He’s not really sure.

All that he knows is that he’s in his room again, wrapped in layers upon layers of warm blankets. Keith is grateful for them, as he currently feels like a freezer left outside in the middle of winter.

Keith realizes with disproportionate joy that his fever has cleared out a little bit - he still feels like shit, but at least he’s conscious. Whether he should attribute it to yet another dose of the space nurofen or simply his body’s natural immune system, he doesn’t know. Either way, he’s glad.

There’s a soft knock at his door. Keith hums, letting whoever is there know that they are free to come in.

“Keith?” Comes Shiro’s soft voice. “You have a visitor.”

To his surprise, the door slides open to reveal… Kolivan. The huge Galra towers over the room, stepping closer towards his bed as the door whooshes closed once again.

Why are the Blades here?, Keith asks himself, a faint feeling of panic squeezing his heart in its iron grip.

“Kolivan!” He exclaims in surprise, looking up at the man’s furry face. “I, uh… I don’t seem to be in a good shape to help the Blades, forgive me. Fever and… all that.”

“Don’t worry, Paladin. I’m not here because of mission business,” the leader reassures him, crouching beside his bed so that he’s at the boy’s eye level. “I’m actually here to see you.”

Keith just blinks at him like an idiot. “Me?”

“You are feverish, right? You must be burning up. It’s bad if even the Altean Yuhni isn’t enough to help.” Kolivan’s eyes drift down to cast a long glance all over his body. “Show me your tail.”

Huh. Word spreads quickly around the galaxy.

Reluctantly, he does. Kolivan examines his extra appendage with utmost care, almost like he is staring at an exhibit in a museum.

“Most definitely Galran,” he hums, running his hands along its length and carding through the hair-tipped end. “Curious.”

Keith blanches at him, too confused to speak. Kolivan clears his throat.

“Keith, I’m afraid I have some confusing news for you. You seem to be going through a Galran puberty.”

What?

══════════════════

“So I’ll probably be… more irritable and angry and confused…” Keith recites back at the Galran leader, voice all monotone. “I’ll be… emotionally vulnerable… Most likely not feeling like myself for some time.”

“Correct, Paladin. Do you have any questions?”

Keith’s brain feels like warm mush as Kolivan’s words echo around in it. Physical changes. Possible additional body parts or changes to the existing ones. Purple hue to one’s skin. Galra-like behavior - including nesting? What the hell is nesting, even?

Is he going to turn into a purple, furry fuzzball with anger management problems just like that? That can’t be right.

He’s still half-human. He can’t be a Galra. He can’t… look like them. Behave like them.

Kolivan has to be mistaken.

“How long does it usually… last?” Keith asks, once his voice comes back to him.

“From what we’ve observed among our half-breed recruits, anywhere from a week to a few months. Unfortunately, I’m not able to tell you how long exactly, in your case.”

The boy just nods stiffly. He expected an answer far more vague than that.

He just hopes, by God, he hopes, that he doesn’t end up unable to recognize himself in the mirror by the end of all of this.

══════════════════

Two days later, long after Kolivan leaves and his fever clears up for good, Keith wakes up in his own bed. And his mouth feels weird.

He slides his tongue along his teeth, encountering an anomaly. As he opens his mouth, he lets the tips of his fingers press against his aching canines.

They’re big. Sharp. Like a predator’s fangs.

Keith only sobs.

Transformation, begin, he thinks.

Chapter Text

“This is too tight,” Keith sighs as he tugs at the uncomfortable tie again, trying fruitlessly to get it a bit looser. “I look weird.”

Staring at himself in the mirror, he grimaces at how off he looks in the formal clothing. It’s a nice suit - well-tailored, a great color and made from quality materials. Coran even altered it to accommodate his tail. His matching leather shoes look expensive.

So it’s not about the suit, per se.

It’s just that Keith is a desert-dweller meant for grungy cropped jackets and t-shirts, not button-ups with ties and vests and slacks ironed out so well that there isn’t a single wrinkle on them.

“You look fine.” Shiro, standing right beside him, adjusts his own suit. His is pitch black with a few white accents here and there. “You’re just not used to this. And stop fiddling with the tie.”

It’s true, he supposes. The last time he had to wear a suit was when Shiro dragged him along to a friend of a friend’s wedding. Which was like… four years ago.

He even skipped Garrison Prom just so he could avoid all the ridiculous dress-up.

And now he’s getting ready to participate in some kind of gala-slash-formal dance-slash-negotiation dinner with potential alliance partners. He has to look all pretty for a bunch of stiff alien officials.

“This damn thing is choking me,” he complains but eventually gives up and lets the tie go. “Ugh. The tail definitely doesn’t go well with a suit.”

“I think you’ll look a bit better if you comb that bird’s nest of yours,” Shiro chuckles, reaching over to ruffle his already-messy hair. He could put it in a ponytail, he thinks. “No, seriously. You look good.”

Keith rolls his eyes, but smiles. “Thanks, Shiro.”

Then, his brother shoots him a knowing smirk as he cocks his eyebrow.

“I think Lance will like the new look as well, you know.”

“Shiro!” Keith sputters, feeling his cheeks heating up. He tries to hide his face behind the collar of his jacket, having forgotten that he’s not currently wearing it.

His train of thought pauses for a moment because oh. Lance will be wearing a suit, too. His overactive imagination quickly supplies him with the mental image and he can’t help but release a long, soft sigh.

Keith can’t wait to see those long legs of his in a pair of tailored slacks.

“Stop thinking gross thoughts,” Shiro deadpans at his side.

“I-I’m not!”

“I can feel you pining from over here. You’ve got it baaad. ” The man chuckles, staring at his younger brother fondly. “Come on. The faster we get ready the faster you’ll get to see your loverboy in a fancy getup.”

He buries his burning face in his hands.

“Shirooo…”

══════════════════

They stumble back into the Castle at a space equivalent of 4 a.m., thoroughly exhausted with their thighs hurting from dancing and stomachs hurting from laughter. Still, they feel ridiculously giggly and relaxed after a night of pure fun.

“Dude, we’re the last ones to come back,” Lance rasps, grabbing the sleeve of Keith’s dress shirt. “Shiro will be sooo mad.”

Keith just smiles at him all toothy, putting a finger to his own lips.

“He doesn’t have to know. Let’s just sneak to our rooms,” he chuckles, sending a wink Lance’s way. He can still feel the light buzz from the weird Neokani punch.

And so they do, scurrying down corridors and trying their best not to be caught. Their attempt at stealth is probably completely unnecessary, seeing as all the other Paladins are probably fast asleep by now. Still, it’s fun.

They finally reach their rooms after a good ten minutes of LARPing as some sort of spies. Lance’s fingers are still clutching his shirt when they stop in front of the door to Keith’s room.

“That was fun.” The boy smiles at him, all bright and warm. Like the sun. “Both this and the party, I mean.”

“Yeah. Even though the Neokani were a bit… meh.” Keith shrugs. He’s feeling bold all of a sudden. “With you, it was. Fun.”

Lance scratches at the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Thanks again for… earlier, by the way.” Keith knows he’s referring to that one way-too-handsy alien prince. “I mean, I would get rid of that guy sooner or later but you definitely saved me a huge headache.”

“You’ve got nothing to thank me for, Lance.” He puts his arm on the boy’s shoulder and squeezes it gently. “Frankly, I was hoping I could get the chance to beat that bastard up.”

Lance chuckles. “Let’s not get too aggressive, Toothy.”

“Toothy?” He tilts his head to the side, confused.

“You know, like Toothless, but you’re all fangs now and stuff. Though Toothless does have teeth after all…”

Keith scrunches his eyebrows, raking through his memory. Finally, the eureka comes.

“Oh! How To Train Your Dragon?” He smiles with satisfaction, looking at Lance expectantly.

“Bingo!” The boy grins and claps his hands. “See, I knew all those movie nights would pay off one day. You even get references now. I think you should thank Lance the Great for expanding your cultural horizons.”

“More like thank Pidge for somehow finding a way to access Earth’s torrents from thousands of lightyears away.”

“Why not both?” Lance shrugs. “I think you’ve got plenty of gratitude to spare.”

They stand there for a few seconds, just staring at each other with wide smiles plastered to their faces. Keith can feel the exhaustion from spending the whole evening on his feet slowly seeping into his body, making him feel heavy.

“I think I should call it a night.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Lance agrees, but lingers for a while longer before slipping away towards his own room next door. He looks like he’s mulling over some words.

Keith tilts his head. “What’s up?”

“...Do you want to hug?”

That takes Keith completely by surprise. His eyes widen as he feels heat spreading over his cheeks.

He loves hugs. Like hell he’s going to pass up an opportunity to get one from Lance, of all people.

“Yes,” he says simply and steps closer.

Lance wraps his arms around him, hands clutching at the material of his suit vest. Keith reciprocates eagerly as he relaxes into the boy’s embraces. Yes. He definitely loves hugs.

When they finally part, Keith can feel his limbs tingling and Lance is smiling even wider than before. Is he blushing? It’s hard to tell in the corridor’s low lights.

“Well. Good night.” Lance waves him goodbye before he disappears inside his room.

Keith stands there for a few more seconds as he begs the butterflies in his stomach to settle down. Man, he’s so whipped.

Or rather - he’s so screwed.

══════════════════

Shiro can be a really hard to find guy when he wants to be.

Finally, after what feels like hours of searching, Keith is able to spot him in the control room, working on one of the alien computers. He tries to sneak up on the man (just because), but Shiro cranes his head back, noticing his presence. He makes a questioning sound.

“Do you have time to talk?”

“I mean, I’m a bit busy right now. I’ve gotta finish these notes up before Allura tears me a new one,” Shiro chuckles. “But as long as you don’t mind me clicking away as we talk, then sure.”

“I just want to vent a little bit.” Keith sits his butt down in one of the free seats nearby. He takes in a deep breath and releases it, staring at the floor. “I can’t get over Lance.”

Shiro is silent for a few seconds before he replies. “Have you been trying to get over him?”

“Well, yes. And it’s not working.”

“Hmm. Why do you want to get over him, though?” His brother searches Keith’s face, looking a bit confused. “You guys seem to be getting along just fine.”

Keith huffs in irritation, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Because he’ll never like me back, obviously.” He tries to ignore the painful pang in his chest. “Not the way I want him to, at least.”

“I don’t know… You haven’t even asked him yet and you’re already giving up. That doesn’t sound like you at all, Keith.”

“Shiro, he keeps flirting with everything that moves. Everything except me!” He throws his hands up in the air in frustration before sinking low in his seat. “I even saw him flirt with some alien guy back at KIleean planet, so he must like men at least a little bit. And yet, I’m still off limits.”

Keith grits his teeth, feeling tears begin to prickle at the corners of his eyes.

“And you know what’s the worst in all of this? I can’t get over him no matter how hard I try. I just keep liking him more.”

Shiro looks at him like he knows something, something that he doesn’t want to tell Keith, at least not just yet. It’s honestly driving the boy insane.

“Have some more faith in yourself, Keith,” the man says, smiling at him gently. “And have some more faith in Lance, too. Things will work themselves out, trust me.”

“How do you know that?”

“Big brother instincts.”

Keith sighs as he props his hands on his knees, rising from his seat. “I feel frustrated. I’m going to go train until I feel exhausted enough to fall asleep.”

Shiro sends him a sympathetic look. “Don’t break any limbs out there. And don’t overthink this stuff with Lance too much.”

“No promises.”

══════════════════

He sprouts a pair of furry, purple bat ears overnight.

New body parts appearing out of nowhere shouldn’t come as a surprise to him anymore, but he still can’t stifle the yelp of surprise he lets out as he glances at himself in the mirror.

He just wonders how many more of those surprises he’s going to get before the Galran puberty runs its course. And if he’s even going to resemble a human by the end of it.

══════════════════

“Jesus, this place smells awful.”

He and Hunk are moving through a narrow corridor in a Galra base they are infiltrating, trying to get to the communication room to hack into the system and gather some much-needed intel. The rest of the team is on the other end of the huge facility, keeping contact with them via their comms.

The corridor reeks like an unholy concoction of ammonia, sewer water and something that closely resembles the stench of rotting fish. The smell almost suffocates him, causing a terrible, pounding headache and drowning out all the other senses. Keith scrunches his nose, trying his best not to take too many deep breaths. 

Hunk sniffs around curiously, shrugging. “I don’t know man, maybe I feel a little bit of a stink, but nothing too crazy. Like a dirty trash can or something. Is it really that bad for you?”

He’s starting to question his teammate’s sanity.

“Yeah.” Keith nearly gags as another wave of the smell makes its way past his nostrils. He slams the visor of his helmet shut in hopes of blocking off the awful sensation. “I have no idea how you can breathe normally in here.”

The Yellow Paladin glances at him, his thick brows raised in slight amusement.

“I never knew you had such a sensitive nose. I guess I should try cooking up some more aromatic dishes just for you, hmm? Indian, or something.”

Yes, please, Keith barely stops himself from saying. And then from vomiting as he breathes in the stench again.

This is going to be a long mission.

══════════════════

It’s the middle of the night and Keith can’t sleep.

He gets like that sometimes - waking up at an ungodly hour, unable to calm his racing heart down enough to fall back into slumber. He supposes it’s got to do something with the whole ten thousand years old, intergalactic war he’s fighting - it can get pretty stressful at times, after all. He’s not sure, though.

(It’s not space madness, thank you very much, Lance.)

Knowing that he won’t be able to fall back asleep no matter what, he gets out of bed with resignation, opting for making a few circles around the Castle to pass the time.

He likes doing it from time to time. It’s as if he’s a guard, monitoring their entire living space, making sure that nothing is amiss. It makes him feel safer, in a way.

Eventually, he comes across the observation room.

The large space seems to be engulfed in complete darkness - the large window that covers almost the entire wall is closed off by blinds for now. He remembers Coran saying something about covering it due to maintenance work or something like that. However, despite the pitch black hue of the room, Keith can see everything pretty well.

Including the small, curled up figure of a boy sitting among heaps of blankets and pillows in the corner.

“Lance?” He calls out, stepping closer towards his friend.

He sees Lance jump in surprise, his head snapping to look in Keith’s direction.

“Keith? Holy crap, how did you know I was in here?”

The Red Paladin blinks, confused. “I… just saw you?”

“Dude, it’s completely dark! I can barely see the tip of my own nose. What do you mean you ‘just saw me’?” Now that he thinks about it, Lance seems to be looking vaguely at the spot Keith’s standing in, but not at his face. Maybe he really can’t see it.

“Oh. I don’t know. I just did,” he says dumbly. Closing the distance between himself and Lance, he plops himself on the floor next to the boy. 

“Do you have night vision now, too?” Lance chuckles, finally close enough to meet Keith’s curious gaze. “Woah! Your eyes are glowing!”

What.

As if the prehensile tail, fangs and big ol’ ears weren’t enough, it looks like he has gained yet another cat-like trait. Pidge will never let me hear the end of it, Keith sighs.

Lance, on the other hand, seems alive with excitement. “That’s so cool!”

“Y-you think so?” Keith can feel himself blushing. He shifts in his seat as he can sense the other boy scooting a bit closer.

“Yeah! And night vision is going to be like, super OP in dark Galra bases! You’re going to be a beast on the battlefield.” Lance blinks, registering the word he used. “No offense.”

He just chuckles. “None taken. Hey, what are you doing here in the middle of the night, anyways?”

“Oh.” Lance folds his legs towards his chest, curling into himself, as if he wants to make himself smaller. “I couldn’t sleep. I came here to think, I suppose. Usually I just look at the stars, but…” He gestures vaguely towards the blinds. “Maintenance, I guess.”

Keith feels a pang of sympathy in his chest.

“Insomnia?”

“Nightmares,” the Blue Paladin sighs. “They’ve been… giving me trouble for the past couple of months.”

Months?! Keith is speechless for a moment. Despite this… apparently significant problem, Lance has never shown any symptoms that he’s been missing sleep - no dark circles under his eyes or sluggishness during training. Is he that good at pretending that he’s okay?

“Why haven’t you ever said anything?” Keith stares at him, worried.

The teen just shrugs. “Would you care?”

“Yeah? Duh?” He’s way too sleep-deprived to feel offended. “My room is right next to yours and on some nights I can’t sleep either. You could’ve knocked on my door and we could have passed the time together somehow. Movies. Training. Stuff.”

“Okay, softie.” Lance smiles at him gently, nudging Keith’s side with his elbow. Then, much quieter: “I’ll keep it in mind, next time.”

Silence falls upon them for a few moments. Lance scoots himself even closer, until his thigh presses against Keith’s. He doesn’t shy away from the touch - and before he can stop it, his tail snakes itself around Lance’s ankle, causing the boy to release a quiet huff of surprise.

It’s quiet. It’s calm. It’s nice.

“What are your nightmares about?” Keith breaks the silence after a couple more minutes. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I can listen.”

Lance sighs.

“They’re mostly about my family. Getting hurt, dying. Or something bad happening to Earth in general. In them, I’m always in space, too far away to do anything. Just like here, in real life.” His jaw clenches, as does his fist tangled in one of the blankets. “I don’t remember the details by the time I wake up. I just know that I feel like shit and I’m crying.”

“I’m sorry.” Keith is angry at himself for being unable to say much more. He’s always been bad at comforting people in their time of need.

“It’s okay.”

Without any better idea, he stretches his arm to the side, wrapping it around Lance’s shoulders and bringing the boy closer to him. Lance lets out a long, soft breath as his head slumps against Keith’s bicep.

“Do you want to tell me about them?” Keith whispers into the dark, as if afraid to spook the boy if he were to raise his voice any louder. “Your family, that is.”

Lance does. Keith listens.

══════════════════

Keith’s hands are turning purple.

At first, it is just a slight blue-ish, grayish hue, barely visible unless in a certain light. Easy enough to ignore or dismiss as dirt or something. Then he thinks he is just cold even despite wearing his gloves basically twenty-four-seven (that’s what some of his teammates suggest, too). But after a few days, he can no longer ignore what’s really happening.

A light, purple color, spreading from the tips of his fingers in a gradient, finally blending into his natural pale complexion somewhere around his wrists. Violet like a Galra’s fur.

So, Keith’s hands are turning purple. As are his feet. And the tip of his tail.

He prays, prays that the color doesn’t spread to the rest of his body. He won’t be able to stand more.

══════════════════

When he basically explodes at Lance, frustrated and angry at himself and grieving his previous, normal human looks, Lance comforts him.

He tells Keith that he’s still himself, just a bit different from the outside. He tells him he’s his friend. 

Lance has probably no idea how much those words mean to the Red Paladin.

Keith wants to launch himself at him, envelop him in a bone-crushing hug, maybe kiss him. Clutch him close and never let go, for he might never find another person who’s so good to him again.

Instead, he grasps at the sleeve of his jacket, asking if they can walk to the kitchen like this. And Lance says yes.

Keith feels conflicted.

══════════════════

“I think you were right, Shiro,” he says quietly, staring at the unremarkable, gray ceiling in his brother’s room.

Shiro shoots him a brief, curious gaze before returning to his tablet. “About?”

“You know. Giving myself a chance.”

The man looks at Keith as if he’s expecting a little bit more of an explanation - or at least a relation of how things are going with Lance and what caused the boy to change his mind. However, Keith doesn’t feel like talking.

The Black Paladin just smiles. “I know I was right.”

Shiro is often right about things. That’s just what Shiro does.