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"Balance? What is... gender?"
That was not a question that Balance had ever expected to be asked, nor did he exactly know how to answer it. Naga was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. This was probably the first time Balance didn't have any sort of idea on what to answer to a question of Naga's. Normally he could always come up with something but... not for this.
"Well... perhaps you should ask another organic lifeform instead of me. I'm not sure my relation with gender is anything like what you would experience." Balance eventually replied. He hated that he couldn't help, but this was a topic out of his knowledge.
Naga stared at him. "But... I don't know what to say."
"Hmm..." Balance pondered ways to start a conversation like that.
Thankfully, he didn't need to think much. Someone walked past them.
"Ah, Lucky!" Balance called his name.
Lucky looked over his shoulder. "Yeah?"
"Can you come here?"
"What's up?" Lucky walked over to the table the two thieves were sitting at.
"Well... Naga asked me a question and I don't know how to answer it. Maybe you could? Do you know how to describe gender? I'm not that familiar with how organics do those things." Balance asked.
He prayed that Lucky had something he could say. He really didn't know what else to do at that point. Just start going around to everyone that might know and ask them?
"Uh... that's a tough thing to explain..." Lucky said. "But... basically the easiest way I can think to describe it is just really how you feel inside. It doesn't matter what your body looks like. Your gender can be different. And if it is, a lot of people tend to do things to make their body match."
"What you feel inside...?" Naga repeated.
"Yeah. So like, maybe you feel like you would describe yourself as a guy. That would be your gender. If you feel more like a girl, then that would be it. Does that make sense?"
Naga shook his head.
Lucky sighed with a slight laugh. "Okay... how about this then. So, I was born and everyone said I was a girl. But, I never felt like a girl. I never liked girly things. But I liked things that people said were for boys. So, I decided I was a boy no matter what anyone else said. That's who I am because that's what I feel inside."
This wasn't news to any of them by any means. Lucky had been out for a while now as being a trans guy. No one had ever batted an eye at it.
"What if... you don't feel connected to either?" Naga asked.
"So like, you don't feel like you're a boy or a girl?"
Naga nodded.
"Then you could say you're nonbinary. Or simply say you don't have a gender, if you prefer."
"How does your home system deal with gender anyway?" Balance asked.
"You're a girl or a boy. That's all."
"So whatever you're born as, they just go with that? Could you change to the other?" Lucky asked.
Naga shook his head. "I don't think so. Or no one has ever asked."
"Could it be... since you've started learning about emotions, you've unlocked a feeling that normally wasn't allowed?"
"Ah! That might be it! Without emotions, you'd not be able to feel discontent with your gender, right?" Balance said.
Lucky nodded. "Probably."
"So... these feelings... are normally suppressed?"
"Most likely. I can kind of understand, as horrible as I think it is. Those feelings make things very complicated for someone to come to terms with."
"I see..."
"So, would you say that you're nonbinary, Naga?" Balance asked.
Naga pondered the question for a while, before he shrugged. "Maybe? I still don't understand this much."
"Take your time. It's never an easy thing to figure out." Lucky placed a hand on Naga's shoulder. "If you have any questions you can ask me. Or ask Balance to ask me if you want."
Naga nodded. "Thank you, Lucky."
Lucky smiled at him. "It's nothing. Glad to help."
Lucky left soon after to go back to doing whatever they had interrupted him from. Naga was quite. He seemed to be lost in thought. Was he pondering what had been said?
Balance wasn't sure what to do about this situation. If Naga was questioning his gender identity... could he do much to help him? It wasn't that Balance didn't necessarily understand these things, but he wasn't sure how to help someone going through such a problem. Especially if it was Naga.
The last thing Balance would ever want to do is to accidently say the wrong thing to Naga and hurt him. He was very worried about doing that with this current situation. He wanted to help Naga however he could, but what if his advice just made things worse? Should he just leave this to Lucky?
"You alright, Naga?" Balance asked.
Naga blinked at him. "I'm just thinking."
"It is a lot to think about." Balance agreed. "At least Lucky will be able to help you through this."
"Not you?"
"A-ah. That's..." Balance trailed off. "I... don't know that I can help you with this, Naga. I'm sorry. I really want to but I just... don't think I can."
"You don't understand me?" Naga said.
"I guess not really. Like I said, you and I have very different understandings about gender identity. I can't get into your head and figure out what it feels like for you."
It was hard to catch, but Balance knew Naga very well. He noticed Naga seemed dejected at the fact Balance wasn't able to help. Balance felt even worse now.
He knew Naga always went to him first. Always preferred to ask for his help or advice before anyone else's. Not that he didn't trust the others to help, but he trusted Balance the most. They had been through a lot together. He almost clung to Balance in those times of struggle. Because Balance was always there to guide him when he needed help. For him to suddenly not have that as an option was hard.
"It'll be okay, Naga." Balance said. "Even if I might not understand, you can still talk to me about these things. I can lend an ear to listen. I just don't know that I can give you much advice on what to do. Okay?"
"Do you... have a gender like us?"
That was not the question he was expecting. Balance had to take a minute to think how to explain everything to him.
"It's a bit different. Because I'm mechanical, we can easily modify things that we don't like so it's not very much talked about. If you don't like an aspect, you can do modifications to like it. It's not like for you guys where you have to wait and slowly change things."
"That's why you don't understand?"
Balance nodded. "Correct. Because I've never had to see or deal with not being able to be myself."
"I see..." Naga looked down at the table. "What is your gender?"
"Hmm... not sure. I just say I'm a guy, you know? It's not a thought that really crosses my mind much. I'm just me." Balance replied. "Just like you're just you. You don't have to be a boy or a girl. You can just be yourself. So, I understand that part of this."
"Just... be myself?" Naga repeated.
"Yep! You don't have to think too hard into your gender if you don't want to. You can simply say you're you. You don't need to explain yourself to people if you don't want to."
"I..." Naga paused. "But... I'm not different from anyone else in my system. How can I just be me if there isn't a me?"
Balance shook his head. "You're not the same as everyone else. No one from your system is despite what you say. There's little differences between them all. You're still unique, Naga."
"Then... I'm just me. I don't... have a gender. I'm me." Naga said.
"Gotcha!" Balance was happy.
Even if he didn't understand much of the turmoil inside of Naga, he had still managed to help him out. That was better than he had thought.
"Do I... tell everyone?" Naga questioned.
"Up to you. If you want to tell them, go for it. But you don't have to if you don't want to." Balance replied.
Naga pondered his options. "I'll... talk to Lucky about that. He did it so he can help me do it."
"Sounds good."
Balance was glad to know Naga was willing to seek help from Lucky. He knew it was hard. Naga was always hesitant to bother everyone with questions for things everyone but him understood.
Hopefully Lucky would be able to help him out. This was one thing Balance didn't have much idea on how to advise Naga. How would he approach a topic like that with everyone? He had no idea. The only thing he had to go off was when Lucky had told them. He definitely seemed like the best bet for this part.
Either way, it seemed like they had worked things out for now. Naga seemed content with the answer they had reached for the time being. Maybe down the road more problems would come up, but for now they solved the issue at hand.