Chapter Text
Don’t eat or drink anything that you didn’t bring yourself. That was the first rule of many Shang Qinghua set for himself, figuring that—because demons were immune to most average poisons—they’d just love to try it out on him instead. After all, he was so wonderfully poisonable. An easy target, a method not immediately suspicious. Still, Shang Qinghua longed for the food he’d so diligently wedding-planned there to be. Oh well. There were snacks hidden in the great, fur-lined cloak of his wedding ensemble — along with a dozen or so other odds and ends. It was quite heavy, actually, but necessary.
Avoiding members of Mobei-Jun’s court as much as possible, Shang Qinghua occasionally kicked himself for so enthusiastically agreeing that they ought to be wed properly (and not take the easy way out like Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu had). Properly as per demon tradition, as per demon royalty tradition. Having survived courtship til this point, Shang Qinghua’s final test of worthiness was to survive the wedding. After all, how could one be a good spouse to such a powerful demon lord if they couldn’t handle a little attempted assassination? Ugh, why’d he have to write demons like this, huh?! Mobei-Jun wasn’t even allowed to help him, either!
No demons were. Yet, rules written by demons for demons often overlooked one little detail…
They said nothing of human help.
As such, perched near his soon-to-be-husband in a relatively secure location, Shang Qinghua greedily fished into his cloak for a treat. Liu Qingge had arrived. Along with him came Yue Qingyuan and a few other Peak Lords, but they were far less important to his schemes. Not even Shen Qingqiu—who’d appeared some time earlier with Luo Binghe—could measure up to the usefulness of the hot-headed Bai Zhan Peak Lord. Despite himself and his nerves, Shang Qinghua’s face split into a Cheshire grin, hurriedly shoveling the rest of his food into his mouth so he could use it to greet the new arrivals with gusto.
Ahhh, his savior. His champion in fine, lustrous silk!
Liu Qingge, on the other hand, was far less enthusiastic to see him. Or much of anyone else there, really. His expression remained a fixed, neutral scowl, even as it startled upon the veiled silhouette of his sister… somehow already present and adjoined by the brash little demoness who’d attacked their mountain so many years ago. Sha Hualing’s coquettish entanglement with Liu Mingyan filled him with such vitriol that his attention near-happily snapped back to Shang Qinghua when he approached.
For the sake of the wedding—which ought to be an auspicious occasion, Yue Qingyuan had reminded him a few times while they were travelling—Liu Qingge very lightly attempted to keep his temper in check. Though, truthfully, both of them had their reservations about the union; Yue Qingyuan was simply far more kindly and patient than he. Rather, Liu Qingge’s only consolation was that Shang Qinghua explicitly hadn’t barred him from fighting if the situation presented itself, if he really couldn’t behave a moment longer.
“Zhangmen-shixiong, shidi… other shixiong.” Shang Qinghua bowed, politely greeting and being greeted by them in turn. Mobei-Jun hovered some ways away, unmoved. He nodded to their guests once out of forced courtesy and little more.
Hurrying through the remaining pleasantries, Shang Qinghua’s enthusiasm clapped Liu Qingge on the shoulder as the other Peak Lords dispersed. Normally, this sort of jovial camaraderie was reserved for heckling Shen Qingqiu, but today was special! He really owed it to Liu Qingge for making things so easy… and to Luo Binghe, for his oblivious contribution to tonight’s entertainment. His supposed refusal of a supposed courtship.
“Please don’t hold back for my sake, Liu-shidi. Enjoy yourself.” Shang Qinghua’s voice was once again akin to a giddy, gossiping schoolgirl—and for real this time! Not just imagined by a silly, defensive Cucumber.
On the contrary, Liu Qingge bristled, removing Shang Qinghua’s hand from his person and stalking off with a snip of sarcasm. Right, I’ll definitely enjoy myself, especially as several sets of sharp demon eyes settled predatorily upon the Bai Zhan Peak Lord—and, not the least of all, including Tianlang-Jun. Albeit, that one’s contribution to the whole affair was more devilish curiosity than outright interest. Twas a shame that his son refused to accept such a fine man as his second husband. Surely, Shen Qingqiu was languishing without a third to accompany them in their nightly endeavours? Ah well.
To each their own.
— — — —
By Tianlang-Jun’s count, it had taken little more than twice an incense time for the festivity to truly begin. With all guests present and welcomed, the ceremony in all its glory could finally commence. In truth, the meat of it wasn’t all that different from a typical human wedding. Airplane, who hadn’t wanted to write anything too elaborate (given how often Bing-ge got married), had merely sprinkled a few demonic and other such eccentricities onto his world-building and called it adequate. All the better for his future self, really! The one who’d been saddled with handling most of the logistics. Familiarity was truly a godsend, especially when coupled with the pretend nonchalance of having to avoid several covert attempts on his life.
Though, that was precisely what the many strange and volatile things hidden under his cloak were for. Talismans, charms, and several other sorts of disguisable demon-preventatives and wards. Not to mention, Shang Qinghua had finally managed to remember where he’d left his sad, pathetic bastard of a sword! Though, he figured that one would be the least amount of help, but it was some small comfort. Even so…
Thus, there was to be a grand parade of the two bridegrooms down the aisle, an exchange of vows, bows, and so on — perhaps even a passionate kiss, if Shang Qinghua had his way. Yet, that wasn’t at all the festivity Tianlang-Jun recounted when he told the story again later (and with such delight as to make anyone envious they hadn’t been able to attend).
That adulation belonged solely to Liu Qingge.
Midway through all of the official fluff and circumstance, his patience wore so thin as to be practically see-through! He’d endured too much already. The eyes, the sharp tongues, and some ominous aura that was neither quite their usual bloodlust nor killing intent. So, what started with staring had escalated to blows, hurtling his first unlucky suitor clear across the aisle and striking any demons unfortunate enough to be standing in the way. Yet, that was only one down, several more audacious pests to go.
Shang Qinghua stifled himself inelegantly, feigning a coy sort of innocence when Mobei-Jun looked his way as if to ask: what are you planning?
Nothing, nothing. Carry on.
In any normal sort of circumstance, Shang Qinghua would be just as offended to have his wedding—of all things!—so unceremoniously interrupted. Yet, this was not a normal circumstance, and he urged his beloved not to pay them any mind — not when another suitor hurtled past accompanied by a flurry of choice curses nor when Cheng Luan was finally unsheathed to the sound of claws clashing against steel. Of course, of course, they had to stay vigilant! Not everyone was so enthralled by his dearest Liu-shidi, but that was all the more reason to continue, right?
Don’t fret.
Besides, anyone who survived could be punished for their insolence later, if his king so insisted. In addition to that minor condolence, one look at Shang Qinghua’s chipper facade was enough to convince Mobei-Jun without even a single word of confirmation that his intended had, yes, planned this. Somehow. A little later when he was less annoyed by the impertinent chaos breaking out around them, he’d be impressed. In the meantime, however, Mobei-Jun simply relented to taking Shang Qinghua’s hand and continuing the ceremony— regardless of how few attendees were paying attention. Perhaps it was better that way.
From the sidelines, there were three major schools of thought among bystanders— A primarily demon one, considering the risk versus reward scenario of joining this brazen display of courtship (though Mobei-Jun hadn’t stopped them, either…). The second, a primarily human one, was more concerned with whether they ought to step in and help their poor, beleaguered shidi. As if he needed it, really, but it was the principle of the matter! Yet, then there was the third viewpoint. Placing a hand on Yue Qingyuan’s shoulder, Tianlang-Jun emerged from his innocuous spectatorship.
(Binghe glowered at Tianlang-Jun from his position at Shen Qingqiu’s side. He’d been dutifully ignoring his father til this very moment, preferring if he’d return to standing further away. Shen Qingqiu sympathised.)
“Now, now… Sect Leader Yue, was it?” Tianlang-Jun’s voice was low yet nonetheless amused. With no attempt to disguise his merriment, he continued, “They’re only having a bit of fun. Flirting. Unless, of course, he belongs to one of you? Then by all means—”
(Tianlang-Jun met his son’s glower with perhaps the only sort of fatherly emotion he had: an infuriating, teasing curiosity. He laughed at how seethingly blank both Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu’s responses were. Still no? Not even now? Shame, shame. Surely, it couldn’t be that Liu Qingge wasn’t impressive enough. Rather, Tianlang-Jun thought that Qingqiu seemed to enjoy him very much. Strange indeed. Then was his son the real problem? Possessive, perhaps? How silly, wasting such a wonderful opportunity…)
“I see,” Yue Qingyuan responded politely.
Considering his next words carefully, Yue Qingyuan supposed he might as well ask while Tianlang-Jun was in a sharing mood. Another defeated suitor punctuated his decision with a loud crack, crashing into something far sturdier than them. Yue Qingyuan consoled himself with the knowledge that at least Liu Qingge seemed to be holding himself back a little. “Is this.. typical?”
“For flirting? Well, normally there aren’t so many at once.” Tianlang-Jun smiled drolly. “Nor would have anyone dared if the wedding were—”
Mine.
Ah, a chink in his armor. Tianlang-Jun fixed himself immediately. “—Binghe’s. Yet, I suspect this has everything to do with Mobei-Jun’s bridegroom. How clever, how very clever. As to be expected of the An Ding Peak Lord!”
It went without saying that this was ‘as to be expected’ of Liu Qingge, as well. Such a fierce, rather demon-like temperament for a human, and not at all bad looking, either! Never mind how tempting it was to steal Luo Binghe’s second-most prominent suitor; perhaps if only his father was a little less… Well, perhaps in another life Tianlang-Jun may have even tried his hand at stealing him, too. After all, it was all in good, romantic fun, wasn’t it?
So much so that both king and consort remained perfectly unscathed, leisurely accomplishing what ought to have been a far more stressful occasion—for one of them, anyway. Mobei-Jun was and forever remained perfectly confident that Shang Qinghua could handle himself… and perhaps became quite a bit more smug whenever his intended miraculously proved that to be true. As it was, officially wed, Shang Qinghua’s buoyant mirth infected Mobei-Jun and reciprocally his pride enchanted Shang Qinghua in kind. If anyone were paying them half as much mind as the ongoing battle, they’d find the pair sickeningly sweet.
If only in their own way.