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Chuuya getting a concussion during this mission had not been part of the plan.
The mission itself was simple, it should’ve just been a get in, get out situation. Instead Dazai has Chuuya draped on his back, wearing his coat and sporting one hell of a concussion in the pouring rain.
The rain had already soaked them long before he could get his coat over them, so doing so in the first place was as futile as it was pathetic. Still, it was better than withstanding the full onslaught of water. It was still uncomfortable though.
The rain made his bandages stick to him like a second skin and his hair was nothing but mop that’s dark brown color now looked like mucky black. It was freezing now, no help that it was still so early in the year and Dazai shivered as if he were seizing, but he knew that Chuuya was fairing only a little better than him.
Unlike Dazai, Chuuya’s body’s constitution was strong and unique in a way that let him stay as healthy as a horse. This might actually be the first time Dazai has ever seen Chuuya out of it in any sort of way. It was interesting.
But he could focus on his intrigue and curiosity once he gets them somewhere where they can lie low. He knew there was a safe house about a mile out from where they currently were and unfortunately, that was the closest one. The winding route of the city at night didn’t help in making that feel any less far.
In a normal circumstance, Dazai would’ve already called them a car and gone straight home, but this wasn’t a normal circumstance mission. No, this was more like a series of tasks packed into one and handed off to double black. So in short, they couldn’t go back to their living spaces until they’ve completed every task and wiped out the enemy.
At the moment, they’re on day 2 and have half the tasks complete, so in 2 more days they could go back to normal.
But that wasn’t the predicament at the moment. What Dazai needed to focus on, was the quickest way he could get to the safe house because he knew he couldn’t walk them all the way there.
He has already ruled out calling any kind of transportation service or getting a public one. It’s too open and there’s no reasonable excuse for Chuuya’s current state. Making pit stops would defeat the purpose as well, Dazai already knew he was gonna get sick, but that didn’t mean he was gonna take a break and sit under the pelting rain.
Dazai grumbled to himself. The only thing he can do for now is walk whether he likes it or not. Curse Chuuya for getting a concussion, curse him for getting hit, curse him for standing in between Dazai and the sweet relief of death!
(He could still remember vividly how Chuuya rushed in front of the gun pointed at him. He could still see him get body slammed back into the wall. He could still visualize the way his eyes rolled up into his head as he promptly passed out, blood gushing down his face.)
(He could still see flowing red as he unloaded every gun he had on his person.)
Blood dripped from Chuuya’s face and onto his shoulder like a leaking pipe. Slow and quiet, drowned out by their surroundings. The blood on his own clothes was half way dry and what wasn’t washed down his form and onto the concrete with the storm.
He’d been walking for a solid 2 hours now. His legs were trembling and his arms were shaking from supporting his partner’s heavy body on his back. His breathing has long since grown ragged and broken and he knew that he looked like a drowned rat. But he still had 30 minutes to go. This might be the most exercise he’s had in his life; willingly at least.
Dazai sighed miserably at his situation. It was all Chuuya’s fault for getting in the way. He always seemed to do that somehow, just get in the way and be a general, unpredictable nuisance. It was all his fault that Dazai was stuck like this, carrying what felt like 100 pounds on his back and walking a mile through the rain.
He could complain all he wanted (thankfully), all he needed to do was to keep walking.
But that becomes a little difficult when the hundred pounds on your back starts moving.
Chuuya’s sudden shift had knocked Dazai slightly off balance when he veered slightly to the left. Dazai almost yelped as he put his weight more on the right to re-balance himself. “Chibi! You can’t move like that. I already have to bear all your weight as it is!” He cried.
Chuuya winced at his volume of Dazai’s voice and the thundering beating around and on him, making Dazai huff, satisfied at his discomfort. “‘Ould ya stop….f’ckin shouting, it hurts…d’mnit.” Chuuya drawled.
Dazai could tell just by the sound of his voice that he was either severely sluggish or concussed. But there was a distinct difference between tired Chuuya and this Chuuya, so his money was on the other being concussed. Dazai hiked Chuuya up higher when he began to slip down, surely trying to get off.
“Le-…le’me down…” He mumbled in protest. Dazai hummed as if to think about it. “I don’t think I will. Chuuya’s too weak to even stand and he’ll definitely get swept away in the rain with all his tinyness.” Chuuya grumbled at this reply and tried to tense his arms that were around Dazai’s shoulders in an attempt to squeeze him, but of course it didn’t work because his hands could hardly connect as it was.
“Now, Now Chibi, we’ve only got 30 more minutes to go. You can stand me just a little while longer.” Dazai didn’t receive a reply to this. Judging from the stillness on his back, Chuuya must’v passed out.
The only thing left to do here was sigh and move on.
… … …
Getting to the safe house was probably the most relieving thing that’s ever happened to Dazai.
He could finally drop the weight on his back, get some blankets to warm up and stop shivering and he was finally in a cozy shelter where the rain couldn’t get him.
That didn’t mean his job was over though.
He had to get Chuuya situated first. Put him in bed, dress his wounds, check the severity of his concussion and get him some pain killers. All of this effort just for his dumb little dog? He almost didn’t want to do it and just lay down and read his suicide guide for the rest of the night (he has a copy in every safe house he uses).
He couldn’t possibly explain to anyone why he didn’t just leave Chuuya to handle it himself like he would for anyone else, but the next thing he knew he was on the move.
The sheets he found in the room and the closet don’t look like they’ve been used in a long while, so he puts them (and a few more blankets) in the washing machine. After that he checked the bathroom for bandages, medicine and wound cleaning substances, which were all in full stock. He grabbed soothing cream, pain killers, disinfectant spray, cotton swabs and bandages and laid them out on the coffee table in front of the couch.
Dazai looked at Chuuya who was dead asleep and distressed in his rest, wondering how he should wake him up. Logically it would be a bad idea to wake him up in any unkind way like he usually would as that would make his head hurt worse, so he resolved to insistent poking.
“Chuya wake up, Chuuya wake up, Chuuya wake up, Chuuya-” Dazai called obnoxiously. It took a solid minute for Chuuya to stir and he grumbled when he recognized Dazai’s voice. He pathetically swatted at Dazai’s hand but couldn’t bring himself to turn away from him. He must be really out of it if he couldn’t even do that.
Dazai shrugged to himself and started to shift the smaller boy. “‘Mmn, stoooop…” Chuuya whined. Dazai blinked for a moment. He’s never heard Chuuya actually whine before, so hearing it now was kind of…
…Nevermind.
Ignoring the light warmth he felt on his cheeks, Dazai continued to make Chuuya sit up slowly so that the other doesn’t throw up from the movement. He sat him up and leaned him back against the couch before turning to grab the disinfectant spray and cotton swabs. “Chibi’s gonna get a light little clean to his head so that he doesn’t get sick. So I had to make him sit up.” He explained quietly.
He didn’t know why he bothered to say anything, he didn’t need to, but he felt like he did for some strange reason.
When he turned back to Chuuya, the boy was slowly blinking at him. His face was pale and his eyes struggled to stay open. He breathed slowly and short and tipped over a little every few seconds. It was such an oddly vulnerable look on him that Dazai knew he’d hate for anyone to see, most of all his own partner.
Now that he thought about it, the most vulnerable Dazai has ever seen Chuuya was when he first brought him into the port mafia. Weak and hurting from rat poison and a knife to his stomach. Yet, even then he didn’t look as pathetic as he did now.
It made Dazai wonder just how many times in his life has Chuuya ever been weak in front of someone. Personally, Dazai couldn’t imagine how humiliating it’d feel to be in such a state in front of anyone no matter who it was.
But of course, he didn’t (shouldn’t) care.
So, he ignored Chuuya’s complaining and dampened the swab. Gingerly, he reached over to the back of Chuuya’s head, doing his best to keep his touch light as he sifted through the thick and matted hair to find the source of the blood. Every now and then, Chuuya would wince when he pressed down a little too much and Dazai would let up without a word.
It’s hard trying to be gentle. He can fake gentleness with his voice, with his expression, with his eyes, but never with his touch. Somehow he’s never been able to learn how to take his own hands and be light and soft. Maybe he should try and learn again?
Soon he found the wound and applied the swab to it. Chuuya jolted away from it with a shocked hiss that surely made his head hurt more. So, Dazai tried again, attempting to be lighter and only partly succeeding.
It took a while of trial and error to get it all cleaned up, at some point Chuuya ended up burying his face forward into Dazai’s stomach in his attempt to jump away again. This made something flip in Dazai’s guts and he wondered for a moment what it was. Was he getting sick already?
No matter. Dazai bandaged up Chuuya’s head and started to tend to his other wounds. More disinfectant, more cotton swabs, soothing cream on rashes and bruises. Once he had finished that, he drew a hot bath, got him a change of clothes and tried to let him do his thing.
Though the trying wasn’t for lack of care, rather that Chuuya couldn’t actually do anything himself and Dazai was just hoping he’d magically come back to himself for even a minute to at least get in the tub.
So, bathing was an ordeal that he’d rather not think about.
Cooking… was also a disaster but again, wasn’t for lack of trying. Still, he just had to heat up whatever was stocked and pre-made in the fridge and hope that it had all the nutrients Chuuya needed for now.
Taking care of someone else was not at all Dazai’s area of expertise, so he had already expected to be fumbling around for the most part, but he did have to admit that he did a little better than he thought he would. He could almost give himself a pat on the back for it.
But then it came to getting Chuuya to take medicine. That was the difficult part.
He knew that it wasn’t like Chuuya was so revolted by the taste that he vehemently refused to take it. He was sure that if he was more aware, he would’ve taken it without complaint and even without water to wash it down (which Dazai could not understand, this shit tasted despicable). The problem was that he never stayed awake long enough to take it.
Sure he was awake before but every time, without fail, he would doze off. Dazai’s already stopped him from drowning in the bath three times too many to know that he would not be able to drink any medicine until he was awake for longer than 5 seconds.
“Chuuya, get up. You have medicine to take.” He tried. Chuuya was not at all convinced and instead, stayed blearily coming in and out of consciousness. Dazai shook him a little bit and Chuuya grumbled at the jostling.
“Five m’re…minutes.” Chuuya mumbled. Ah yes, the classic line of a person on the verge of that every night stand with death. Dazai sighed petulantly, “Chuuuyaaa~ just five minutes of awakeness.” He complained.
Chuuya blinked a little bit more before his gaze turned to Dazai and actually looked like he was looking at him for the first time in hours. Dazai took this chance to pour out the medicine in the cap (recoiling at the smell all the while) and put it against Chuuya’s lips.
For another few seconds Chuuya blinked at him and Dazai wondered if he was going to fall asleep again, but thankfully, he tipped his head back and slowly drank what was in the cap. Still, Dazai could not understand why the taste by itself didn’t have Chuuya even attempting to knock it back.
When Chuuya finished it, Dazai capped the medicine again and put it down, finally finished taking care of Chuuya for now. Finally, he could sit down for a little, but he probably also has the report to continue writing after today’s events. Hm, nah; that could wait for later.
Dazai was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the hand coming up to his face until it cupped his cheek.
He froze at the sudden and faint touch, his gaze moving down to Chuuya who was looking at him in puzzlement. Somehow, Dazai could’ve sworn his throat closed up just then and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the redhead who’s eyes widened a little in what looked like realization.
Dazai didn’t even try to find the strength in him to resist when Chuuya pulled him down and placed a chaste kiss to his forehead.
His lips were only a little chapped and they felt thin against his skin. They lingered for all of five seconds before leaving him with the smallest ‘chu’.
Dazai’s eyes were wide and his mouth hung open as Chuuya looked up at him with a strange look in his eyes. One that Dazai has never seen before and it made his heart pound in his ears, it made his blood rush to his face and surely engulf it in a deep red. He shuddered under Chuuya’s gaze that only now he realized, barely wavered, as if they were determined to stay on him.
“Thanks…sh’tty mackerel.” He said quietly before letting his hand leave Dazai’s cheek and soon after falling asleep. Dazai was left alone now, with what just happened, his own racing heart and more questions than he’s ever had in his life.
That didn’t just happen right? He was surely hallucinating and this was all just some stupid dream he was having. But he’d never dream of this! He must be having a nightmare. Dazai tried to pinch himself and as half expected, the pain was there.
Dazai stood still for another couple seconds before leaving the room, closing the door quietly and finding the couch dropping down onto it without even a hint of the shock in his body getting ready to leave him.
He could still feel the tingling sensation on his cheek and his forehead. It was so close to his hairline, yet shy of it by an inch and his cheek, he’s never been so self aware of his cheek of all things before. There was a lump in his throat that he could just barely swallow down, there was a ringing in his ears that was as persistent as it was loud and he couldn’t breathe-
He took in one long breath. He held it, stood up and walked out the front door.
He walked a few meters away from the house and screamed .
Because of all the things he was good at, denial was particularly one he excelled at.