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The first to find out about Mike’s “difference” is none other than Donna, of course. Mike had always thought to himself she had some sort of omnipotence, after all she knew what he was before he even had a chance to bring it up or even begin explaining himself. “What happened ?” you may ask, well it was pretty straightforward.
On a regular Monday evening the office was empty, rows and columns of neat desks all the same along the bullpen; except for Mike that is. He sat at his desk with a highlighter in one hand and the other that subconsciously messed with his hair, leaving strands sticking out all over the place. Louis had told him he wanted some briefs finished by the following morning and that it shouldn’t take him long, however clearly he underestimated how much work he actually dished out to Mike. There was nothing but a low buzz of yellow-ish fluorescent lights above him along the bullpen and everywhere else around the office was pitch black except what appeared to be a desk light around the corner that Mike could barely make out, his view of the light Kurve being restricted by the walls outside the bullpen.
It was, at this point, 8pm and Mike had given up and decided he’d just finish it in the morning and take the wrath of Louis. Mike always brings a spare change of clothes to work that isn’t one of his measly seven suits, mostly it was for when he worked extremely late and being in a suit all day eventually would make him uncomfortable. Bored and borderline frustrated at the briefs he was currently proofing, he dropped the highlighter on top of the briefs and pushed back from the desk on his chair, swirled around on it back and forth a couple times. He let out a deep sigh and got up, tucked the chair into the desk and grabbed a small bag under his desk that was where he stored his spare clothes. It was safe to assume Mike was alone and that nobody else would be there so he had started to strip off his trousers down to his boxers and put on a pair of loose fit sweatpants. Then, he took off his shirt and rested it on the back of the desk chair on top of his blazer he had shed a few hours prior. Just in that moment of him going to cover his bare chest up with a baggy more comfortable hoodie to ride home on his bike in, Donna had walked past and spotted him. She had noticed what looked like two red, ever so slightly raised scars across his chest, one under each peck. Was I staring? Donna had asked herself when she noticed Mike’s face had gone bright pink with embarrassment as he had pulled the hoodie down over his face.
“I didn’t realise you were still in the office,” Mike stated as he looked around him and sheepishly pointed his hand around accompanying what he had said. “I wouldn’t have-“ Donna cut him off and smiled genuinely and warmly at Mike. “I know, it’s fine Mike. I’m sorry for staring, I didn’t expect to see you here this late. You should go home.” Mike still didn’t know what to think or how to respond properly to Donna and so he opened his mouth to speak, almost like his jaw had unhinged, stuck open, but nothing came out. Eventually, he said, “You didn’t see anything did you? I just change when it’s so late sometimes, better to ride home in I-“ He had started to ramble and his voice trailed off along with it. There was a visible look of dread and panic over Mike’s face as he hoped Donna didn’t notice anything or see anything, and that if she did she wouldn’t say anything. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. Donna gave the young man in front of her a look of sympathy He knew that she knew, of course she fucking knew he thought to himself.. “I saw Mike, I’m sorry. You know you could’ve told me, or Harvey, or anyone? No one would have judged you.” Rationally, he had always known that nobody in Pearson Hardman would care about him being transgender but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a thought in the back of his mind that they wouldn’t accept him.
All Mike did in that moment was nod at Donna and then look at his feet. He sighed and mumbled like a child who had been in trouble. “I know. Can you not mention this to anybody? What I really am?” Donna gave a light hearted laugh and placed a hand on his shoulder, which caused Mike to look up at her. “Of course, but there’s no harm in saying you’re transgender Mike. Nor is there any reason for you to hide it from people. Now, goodnight I’ll see you in the morning, get some sleep kiddo.” Mike smiled back at Donna and just thanked her, then told her goodnight as he picked up his messenger bag and put his suit in the spare bag he took out from under his desk. Mike knew he would have to bring that to his apartment with him too, he didn’t want to because he was so tired but he knew he couldn’t just leave one of his suits to get crinkled underneath his desk. Finally, he was actually alone. He turned the lights in the bullpen off and walked towards the elevator. Mike took a deep breath and mumbled to himself. What an overly stressful evening.
Donna wouldn’t tell anyone? Would she?
The second person who found out about Mike’s ‘gender status’ was Louis. Albeit not on purpose, nor was he aware at all actually. It wasn’t all that dramatic or stressful like Donna had unknowingly made it either. Louis and Mike were trying to get a new client to come to the firm, in doing so Louis had blackmailed Mike with a fake positive drug test to go to tennis with him before work in order to sign on this client. Every time they would shower or change Mike would go somewhere else to do so and if needed would shower in his undergarments. Louis hadn’t really questioned it and assumed that Mike was just uncomfortable around other people, it was a public locker room after all. It was such a minute quirk from Mike, there was no need for Louis to ever bring it up to anyone. Who would he even talk about that to?
Jessica found out third, the most unlikely person Mike had told himself. She was probably actually more like the first to know, ever since Mike started working at Pearson Hardman he had started to use his health insurance for his monthly testosterone prescriptions so naturally Jessica had done some digging as to why there were such frequent doctor visits. One morning she decided to pull Mike into her office and check up on him, it was some unnatural version of what seemed to be an actual concern for him. Jessica approached Mike’s little cubicle while he had one earphone in and was working on some documents. She knocked on the top of the metal frame of the cubicle and spoke quickly, “My office, Mr. Ross,” before she turned on her heel and expected him to follow her immediately, which he of course did. Upon entering her office she motioned towards the greyish-green couch in front of her desk as she sat against the edge of it. “Did you know why I called you into my office, Mike?” Like any other reasonable associate, Mike was terrified. Was he going to be fired? Work for Louis instead of Harvey? Did she know he was a fraud? He didn’t remember screwing up anything recently. “No.” Jessica nodded and replied, “I wanted to ask if you’re okay Mike. I noticed over the last year there’s been frequent doctors appointments.” Slowly, he nodded as a response while he tried to figure out how she knew before Mike quickly came to the conclusion that she had access to the insurance company files. “Uhhhh, yeah I’m fine. Just a repeat prescription I get.” Jessica clicked her tongue, showing she was paying attention to Mike’s thought out response that obviously danced around what it was for, leaving out any specifics. “As long as it doesn’t get in the way of you being able to do your job, it’s none of my business and I don’t care. Mike, you don’t have to tell me anything but don’t think I don’t already know.” Jessica then broke out into a small sincere smile that eased Mike, she was completely fine with it. That didn’t surprise Mike in the slightest and was a huge relief compared to what else he could’ve been brought in there for. “Thank you Jessica,” was all he managed to give her in return. “Now get the hell out of my office, Mike Ross,” Jessica replied, almost laughing. It put Mike at ease and he left her office ,going back to his cubicle.
There was one more person who found out about Mike being transgender. It had been a year since Donna had found out when Jessica herself found out. It was a few weeks later after Jessica had found out and it was a normal day in the office. Mike was going through some files for a new case for Harvey while being spread out with piles of files and boxes all over Harvey’s couch. In the back of his head he had been worried if Harvey ever found out about him being transgender, it wasn’t something he just told people and the only people who knew other than his grandma were Jessica and Donna. The past couple weeks had been eating away at him, wondering if Harvey knew or if he had known all along because of Louis or Donna. Out of frustration Mike threw the pen, that had not just a moment ago, been in his hand onto the coffee table where he sat proofing briefs.
“Do you know?” He bluntly asked, looking up at Harvey who still had his head down focusing on anything but Mike. “What?” Harvey had replied, still not paying Mike any attention. “What I am.” It came out like he spat the words right out of his mouth, a jumble of letters that made vague sounds rather than an actual sentence. “Oh, you mean that.” Harvey looked up from his desk and stared right at Mike, who for the past couple of minutes awkwardly hadn’t taken his eyes off of Harvey. “I’ve known for ages, Mike. If I had a problem I would’ve done something already,” he spoke again very nonchalantly. “How long Harvey?” Mike was blunt, he was upset that if Harvey had known for a long time that he didn’t say anything. He felt that it was selfish, if Harvey had found out he should’ve gone straight to Mike. “Since Louis accidentally mentioned it last year. He didn’t know but I asked Donna and she said something about how she couldn’t tell me anything because she wanted to respect your boundaries. I figured it out on my own from there afterwards.” At this point Mike was blinking back tears. Harvey had known…for a year and hadn’t said anything. “You didn’t think to come to me Harvey? Not once?” Without thinking, he stood up and was almost yelling at Harvey. A droplet of water or two escaped his bright baby blue eyes and Harvey’s expression had dropped from his usual work persona to a concerned friend. “Look, I’m sorry Mike I should have but it just didn’t feel important - it didn’t change how I saw you so it wasn’t worth mentioning. If you had wanted me to know you would tell me.” As Harvey said this, he too had moved from sitting down at his desk to making his way to a now crying Mike, across the room, who slumped back onto the couch, burying his head in his hands. He sat down next to Mike and put a hand on his shoulder. Harvey wasn’t good at comforting others but knew Mike needed it.
“Thanks Harvey.” Was all Mike said, it sounded muffled through his hand over his face. They just sat there silently for a few moments, which had seemed like forever, it was almost like time had stopped still completely in Harvey’s office.