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April O'Neil has always wanted younger siblings. She would beg her mom over and over again to have more kids, despite Carol's divorce status and lack of other partners. April didn't really care how her younger siblings came to be, so long as she got them in the end.
She never imagined her younger siblings would come in the form of living, breathing, mutant turtles. But hey, beggars can't be choosers and April is actually quite fond of her not-quite-human siblings.
However, seeing as her siblings are literal turtles who live deep in the sewers, they aren't too adept at human cultures or manners. April has had to teach them a lot - and she means a lot - about how to live in the modern society. There is still a lot they need to learn, but as their big sister she is happy to educate them. She's just happy they're comfortable enough to come to her for help.
- - -
April and Raph are sitting in her living room, playing their eleventh round of Mario Kart. Every week the two get together to game and chill, usually playing something relaxing like Mario Kart or Just Dance or sometimes WII Sports. These sessions also often include them ranting about their week or sharing funny stories of their idiotic younger siblings. Being the older duo certainly has its perks.
This week is different though. Raph is really good at Mario Kart, it's one of the few games where he can consistently beat the younger turtles. His only real competition is April, which makes their races so much fun. They're often neck in neck, one of them only briefly taking the lead before the other passes them again. However, Raph has now lost four times in a row and has barely grumbled a word in annoyance. He's not the sorest of losers - coughlikeDonniecough - but he still yells and jeers in good fun. Today he hasn't yelled once.
By his fifth loss, April's big sister senses are skyrocketing through the roof.
"Okay," April finally says, sitting up to pause the game, "What's wrong?"
"W-what? Nothing's wrong! Raph is great! Raph is ready to leave you in his dust!" Raph's smile spreads too far across his face to be anything but forced and his words have no real bite to them. April just raises her eyebrow, not amused.
"Dude, you haven't been this bad at Mario Kart since I first taught you two years ago. Spill." April sets her controller down and grabs Raph's from his own hands. She turns so she's facing her brother and can give him her full attention.
"It's not a big deal, I swear! I've just been, y'know, thinkin' and stuff." Raph shrugs awkwardly, leaning to grab his controller again and weasel his way out of the conversation. Over the years April has realized that out of all her younger turtle siblings, Raph comes to her with his troubles the least. It could be that he simply doesn't have any major issues and is an overall happy dude, but April's gut tells her it goes deeper than that. There's a reason he doesn't talk to her, a reason he still isn't sharing.
"Raph, you can talk to me. We're family for crying out loud, we're supposed to help each other when something's wrong!"
"No! I'm the biggest brother, it's my job to keep things together and be there for you . Not the other way around." Raph drops the controller and instead crosses his arms over his plastron, turning so he faces away from April. "I'm supposed to take care of you, that's my job ."
"That's dumb,"
"Wha-"
"Just 'cuz you're the biggest doesn't mean you can't talk about your problems too. And technically, by your logic, I'm the biggest in our family so you legally have to tell me everything since I'm older."
"Only by like seven months!"
"That still counts," April shrugs, officially shutting off the game and turning back to Raph. "So, tell your older sister what's bugging you."
"Ugh! Fine! But I'm not sayin' nothin' unless you promise not to tell anyone. I don't want the others to be burdened by my own issues."
"...Alright." April doesn't like keeping secrets from the rest of her family - especially when those secrets pertain to one of their own - but she's willing to make an exception if it gets Raph talking.
"I've, um, realized something about myself lately. Dad always tells me stories about this wonderful woman he used to love. It's really sweet! They would go on like dates n' stuff an' even though dad's stories were often told with a hint of sadness, you could really tell he cares about this woman."
"Do you like someone too?"
"Yeah? But also no?" Raph fidgets with his bandana, pulling it off of his head so he can wring it between his hands. "Like the date part was always so cute but as soon as Dad would talk about getting any closer to her than that I would feel all icky. Things like kissing, or cuddling, or having adult sleepovers - whatever those are."
"Oh,"
"An' also I think I like more than only girls, even though I'm a boy? There's this kid at the park I go to sometimes who I think is cute and they're not a boy or a girl. There's also this boy I sometimes see throwing leaves and sticks into the sewer while makin' his Sewer Soup and I think he's super fun too. But like I would never want to do anything all mushy-gushy with them but it would also be fun to spend time with them as more than a friend?" Raph takes a breath from rambling, panting slightly. April stays quiet as she pieces through the word vomit to figure out her little big brother's point.
"Does any of that make sense?" Raph asks after the silence stretches too long, "I'm sorry, Dad always tells me to think more before speakin' and that not ev'ryone can understand my thoughts like I can. Donnie agrees and has tried to help but I dunno it doesn't really work? I try hard though, but I can try repeatin' myself if you need. I can take it slower, I'm sorry."
"Shut up," April snaps and cuts off Raph's apologies harsher than she meant to. Raph curls in on himself, his head retreating slightly into his shell. April grabs his head before it can completely disappear and holds his cheeks. She needs to get this through that thick skull of his. "I'm sorry, I just needed a moment to think things through. But I understood you just fine! You're perfect just the way you are and don't let anyone change that. Especially not those dum-dum siblings of ours."
"Okay," Raph chuckles slightly, a small smile spreading across his face. April drops his head and he uncurls himself. He sits in a more comfortable silence as April thinks, her little brain trying to wrap itself around Raph's predicament.
"Alrighty," She says after a few minutes, "It seems to me like you get crushes on anyone regardless of gender but you don't want a relationship that goes deeper than romantic. Is that right?"
"Maybe? I agree with the thing about getting crushes on anyone. I think everyones cute! Girls and guys and anyone in between!" Raph grins and this time it's April's turn to chuckle. "But I dunno what you mean by romanic. What's that?"
"Roman- tic , not romanic. Basically it's a feeling you get around other people. Like when you love them and stuff."
"Oh. I love you and my bros, is that romantic?"
"Uhh," April pauses. How does she explain to a turtle the difference between romantic love and familial love? Where's her mom when she needs her. "Not really. My Momma explained it to me once, and I'll try to explain it to you:
"There's many different types of love. The ancient Greeks all had different words for love but because we're basic we just have 'love'. But there's still different types. There's familial love, which is when you love your family. That's like what you and I have, and what we have with the other turtles.
"Next, there's friendship love. That's like when you meet someone who isn't part of your family and you want to spend time with them and be close with them. But they're just friends, and nothing more. Kind of like my school friend Sarah - I've mentioned her before, right?" Raph nods and April knows he's understanding. Raph may not be as smart as Donnie, or as cunning as Lilly, or even as creative as little Mikey, but the oldest turtle is a lot smarter than anyone gives him credit for.
"Next up on the list is romantic love. This is when you want to spend a lot of time with someone but more than you would as friends. So you'd go on things called dates where you get dinner and then you might go back to someone's home and cuddle or something. Momma sometimes goes on dates with guys, and sometimes they even become her boyfriend. In this type of romantic love, you could have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner or whatever else you want to call them."
"That's what I want!" Raph interjects, "I want a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner! I want a romantic relationship!"
"Awesome! You can totally have that someday!" April pats Raph's head, ruffling his nonexistent hair. "Want me to explain the last kind of love I know?" Raph nods.
"Okay the last love is sexual love. This is where you want to do more than cuddle or go on dates. Like kissing, and other adult-stuff Momma said she'd explain when I'm older. Most people want all kinds of love at one point in their lives."
"But, what if I don't want that last kind of love? That sounds icky and makes my scales itch all weird." Raph looks away. The turtles know they're not like most people - they're freaking mutant turtles for crying out loud - but that doesn't stop them from trying to be as normal as possible. They want to live as regular and average a life as they can. April rests a hand on Raphs shoulder, careful to avoid the sharp spikes that adorn his shell.
"That's perfectly okay. There's a lot of people who feel the exact same way as you. Not wanting sexual love doesn't make you any less valid or weird,"
"Promise?"
"I pinky promise." April holds up her pinky and performs the sacred oath with Raph. "Would I ever lie to you?" Raph shakes his head. "Exactly! Now I think what you're feeling is called panromantic asexual? I dunno for sure though but I can talk to my Momma about it and get back to you. I can probably find you some videos online too that help explain it."
"Thank you, April."
"Of course! That's what big sisters are for. Now where were we?" April grabs the controllers once more and turns the game back on. She starts up a new race on Rainbow Road, her and Raph's favorite course. "I'm not gonna go easy on you. You're gonna be left eating my dust!"
"Nuh-uh, I'm going to absolutely crush you! Racing like a boss!" Raph cheers and the race starts.
The two throw red shells, banana peels, and verbal jabs at each other. The race is neck and neck, as usual. They're on their last lap, April ahead by a fraction of a second. She rounds the corner, the finish line a few feet away. Right before she crosses Raph speeds past on his motorbike, crossing the finish line himself and leaving April in second place. Raph jumps up on the couch, shouting and laughing and rubbing his victory in April's face. Usually she'd be taunting him back, but April finds all she can do is smile as her biggest little brother gets his mojo back.
Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of big-sister love to fix a problem. And April is happy to provide.
- - -
Lilly doesn't go over to April's as much as Raph and Donnie do, but April still loves the time she gets to spend with her sister. Today the two are playing at a nearby park, Lilly covered head to toe in oversized clothes to cover her scales and mutant-ness. Lilly is trying to learn new skateboard tricks to show off to her brothers while April is attempting to roller skate backwards. Both have spent more time on the asphalt today than up on their skates.
"This is hard," April says, staring up at the sky. She fell again, landing hard on her butt and she didn't have the energy to get back up. Lilly fell again shortly after, and crawled over to April where the two are now laying on their backs (or shell) watching as the white clouds float across the sky.
"Hey," Lilly says abruptly, breaking the comfortable silence, "I can tell you anything, right?"
"Of course! We're sisters!"
"And you won't tell our brothers?"
"Don't worry, rule one of girl code is that we keep things between us."
"Um, okay then," Lilly takes a deep breath to compose herself before speaking. April waits patiently. Lilly rarely comes to April about her issues, she often covers up her problems with jokes and sarcasm until someone forces her to speak. So the fact that she's willing to open up on her own means whatever she has to say is really important. April doesn't want to mess that up and make her hide in her shell again. "I-I don't feel right ."
"Oh shoot," April sits up, inspecting her sister all over, "Did you get hurt? I knew you should have worn more protective gear. Your shell alone is not enough."
"What? No! I'm way too awesome to get injured over a simple stunt like that," Lilly huffs, offended.
"Alright," April hesitantly settles back down. There's a chance Lilly is injured and is keeping a secret (as she tends to do sometimes) but April has a gut feeling something more is going on. "Why do you feel wrong then?"
"It's not that I feel wrong per se, it's just that I don't feel 100% right. Like I'm not fully me?" Lilly looks at April, the two locking eyes with each other before Lilly quickly looks away. "That sounds dumb, doesn't it?"
"No, I think I get it. I just need a bit more info from you. I may be the amazing April O'Neil, the best big sister and expert on all things human, but I'm not a mind reader. So why don't you explain some of the times you don't feel 'right'."
"Okay, um…Well I really don't feel right when dad has us dress up for things. Like when the boys get to wear suits and stuff, but all I have in my closet are dresses and skirts."
"So you don't like wearing dresses?"
"Maybe? They feel fine, and they're just clothing but they make my stomach curl whenever I have to wear them."
"You're allowed to wear other stuff. You can wear suits like your brothers, if you want. Girls don't have to just wear dresses and skirts. Like, I wear pants all the time because they're easier for me to play in than skirts. You can do the same! Would that help?"
"Perhaps. I dunno if the clothes are the actual problem though or if I'm just not right."
"I see," April hums in thought. How long has Lilly felt this way? How long has she not felt right ? April looks over to her sister, her heart panging at the vulnerable fear in the turtle's eyes. She thinks back on all the instances Lilly put on a smile and laughed along, wondering if she felt this way even then. When has Lilly been happiest? When has her smile seemed most fake?
How many times has her sister subtly cringed without anyone noticing?
April's eyes narrow as she stares at the turtle next to her. Perhaps…
"I have an idea about what could be the problem."
"Really?" Lilly's face lights up with hope.
"Yeah! If it's not the clothes that's the issue for you, then maybe it's the way others view you."
"Huh?"
"Bear with me. Lilly," This time April definitely notices how the turtle winces at her name. "Do you like being a girl?"
"I-what?" Lilly sits up now, backing away from April and ever-so-slightly pulling her limbs into her shell. "What kind of question is that? I mean, I am a girl so how can I choose whether or not I like it?"
"Well yeah, you may have been born as a girl turtle but sometimes what your shell reflects on the outside isn't what you feel inside. There's this girl in my class, and my Momma told me that she was born as a boy but she didn't feel like a boy on the inside. So all she did was change her outside so she'd feel like herself all the time!"
"That's silly, humans can't shape shift!"
"You'd be surprised how much we can change what we look like with a little makeup and a new wardrobe." April shakes her head, stopping herself before she starts ranting about Halloween and special effects makeup and the rest of her fashion knowledge. "But I'm getting off track here. The point is, do you feel more right if I call you a boy?"
Lilly pauses, her forehead scrunching together as she mulls it over.
"I think-I think I'd like that a lot. I don't feel like a girl, I've never felt like a girl. I'm a boy!" April's new brother beams, his smile genuine and bright.
"Sweet! I've got another little bro now!" April grabs her brother around the neck, pulling him into a light chokehold. She then gives him the biggest big sister noogie she can, while he laughs at her to stop. "Hey, wait-" April lets him go and her brother sits up, confused.
"What?"
"If you're my brother then I can't keep calling you Lilly! Unless you like that name, of course."
"No, I don't think it fits me. I'm allowed to choose a new name?"
"Yes! That's the wonderful thing about being yourself, you get to pick out whatever name fits you best!"
"Hm okay, I gotta think now."
"Don't work your brain too hard, I know you don't got much up there," April teases as she lightly knocks on his head.
"Hey!" He cries out indignantly, shoving her hand away. "What was that book you were reading to me the last time I was over? The one with the inventor-doctor dude?"
"Oh! The Story of Da Vinci? That one?"
"Yeah! He's cool! What's his full name?"
"Leonardo Da Vinci."
"Leonardo. Leonardo! Leonardo, " Her brother tests out the name, jumping up and shouting 'Leonardo' to the rooftops. "Yeah, I like it."
"Leonardo," April tests the name out herself, "It suits you! And I can call you Leo for short."
"Ohmigosh it's perfect!" Leo has the biggest grin plastered across his red and green face. April hasn't seen him this happy since the Jupiter Jim actor responded to his fan mail a year and a half ago. And it's not the kind of happiness that can be caused by material things. It's the kind of joy that bubbles from within and spills outward, tears and laughter echoing together. The kind of happiness that's personal, and sacred. April is so glad she gets to share this moment with Leo.
"Wait," Leo's smile falters and he turns to his sister. "But I like boys not girls, so am I really a boy myself?"
" Yes! Of course you're still a boy! Who you like doesn't change your own gender identity. And people of the same gender are totally allowed to like each other, too."
"Awesome!" The smile is back and Leo grabs April's arms, pulling her up to stand by him. He then grabs his skateboard and runs back to the top of the ramp, where he was working on his tricks. He pushes off and glides down, popping an ollie and shouting "I'm a boy!"
April watches in amusement, her own heart overflowing as her brother shows off his true self.
"You're still not going to tell anyone, right? I don't think I'm ready for the others to know yet."
"Don't worry, it may not be Girl Code anymore but I'm still your big sister and I promise I won't share anything you're not comfortable with." April readjusts her elbow pads and helmet then skates up to the top of the ramp. Leo is slowly skating behind her, about halfway up the ramp. His idiot self is attempting to skate up the ramp from the ground, without any sort of previous momentum. What a dum-dum. "Last one across the park is a rotten egg!"
April pushes off, easily skating past Leo and leaving him behind. She hears him huff indignantly and she laughs as he tries to chase after her. She's the only girl in the family now, but she doesn't mind. April loves all of her brothers, both the new and the old. Besides, being surrounded by a bunch of dum-dum boys isn't so bad. They're her family and they always will be, no matter how they change or present themselves.
- - -
April sees Donnie the most. Everyday at exactly 3:23pm he knocks on her bedroom window. It has become a habit now. April will get home from school, grab a snack from the kitchen (making sure to get enough for Don) and head upstairs to her room. She'll open the window and let Donnie tumble onto her bed. Then she sits at her desk and does her homework while Donnie sits on her lap and plays on April’s iPad or takes a nap.
April knows how much the routine means to Donnie and how it helps ground him, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't need the routine too. Sitting with Donnie for a couple hours every afternoon is something April looks forward to everyday, especially when things at school are rough. The two simply sit in silence, enjoying each other's company. It's enough for April. She cherishes the time she gets to spend with her brother, and she knows Donnie loves it just as much - even if he'd never say so out loud.
Today is no different. April is sitting at her desk, working on her math homework. Sometimes she'll let Don help if she gets stuck or he gets bored. He especially likes helping her with her science assignments. But today he's content to simply sit in April's lap and play some game on her iPad. Half an hour passes in comfortable silence, and April actually manages to get her worksheet done without much struggle.
"April? I have a topic that I wish to discuss," Donnie speaks up suddenly, breaking through the silence. April puts her pencil down and looks to her younger brother. Donnie lowers the iPad, turning his full attention to April - something he only does when a matter is important to him. Donnie means business.
"Yeah? What's up?"
"I have made several observations over the course of our family movie nights. In nearly every movie, the characters fall in love by the end. Whether it be a guy and a girl, or a girl and a girl, or a guy and a guy. The end product is always the same. The two characters always fall in love and have a big dramatic kiss." Donnie wrinkles his nose in disgust, "For some reason, those scenes always make my insides churn and I generally feel indifferent to the whole love story.
"I had assumed my family felt the same as I, however I've discovered that's not the case. Little Mikey always coos at the happy love ending, and Lilly will get a soft smile whenever a supposed hot guy is on screen. Even Raph squeals when the main characters finally get together." Donnie crosses his arms and looks away, finally breaking the intense eye-contact he was sharing with April. "I just feel nothing but mild annoyance that the action and main plot of the movie gets muddled by romance."
"You see Donnie-"
"Nuh-uh! I'm not finished. Please don't interrupt me." Donnie glares at April, his bottom beak wavering slightly. April lifts her right hand and rests it across her heart while her left hand mimes zipping her lips and locking them. Then she throws away the key, finishing her promise to stay quiet. Donnie nods once at her, regaining his composure before continuing on. "I have conducted light research on the matter and the potential causes of my indifference but my findings were inconclusive. Most of what I read said I should wait 'till I'm a bit older and then romance will make sense to me. I don't think that's the case though. I would have asked Papa about it but I fear he won't handle the situation properly. So instead I'm coming to you for advice, since you're old and thus all-knowing."
April scoffs, offended. She looks to Donnie, wanting to speak out in her defense but waiting until he gives her the all-clear. The younger turtle hands April back the 'key' and she mimes reopening her mouth.
"First off, I'm not old! I'm only two years older than you!"
"Two years is quite a bit of time, especially when you consider how many days that is."
"Wow, betrayed by my own brother!" April flops back in her chair, feigning offense. She teases Don and exaggerates her movements, trying not to laugh. "In that case, maybe I won't help you! I may be 'all-knowing' but that doesn't mean I have to share my old-person knowledge."
"No!" Donnie sits up straighter, actual panic lacing his voice. April's fake noises of distress die down and she shifts slightly, getting a better look at her brother. His shoulders hunch and his arms are crossed tightly over his chest, his hands digging into his scales. Tears pool in his eyes and his beak wavers again. Even his stupid drawn-on eyebrows crinkle in sorrow.
"Hey, hey, it's okay." April sits up fully, raising her hands to grab Donnie but stopping short before she actually touches him. Donnie sometimes has meltdowns and April thankfully knows how to deal with them. He hasn't had one in a while though, and they rarely come on so fast. Usually his meltdowns are a combination of stress and anxiety that has been accumulating for a while. "I was just teasing."
"Why am I so wrong? "
"...What?"
"Everyone falls in love! Any story can tell you that, but I must've been mutated wrong because I have never wanted to fall in love. Isn't that funny? Even my dum-dum siblings want to fall in love. Why can't I?" The tears fall now, fast and thick, trickling down his chin and into April's lap. She doesn't mind though. She'll do whatever it takes to help her brothers.
"Oh Don. Can I hug you?" At Donnie's small nod, April pulls him farther onto her lap, hugging him close. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, okay?"
"But I-"
"Nuh-uh! I'm not finished. Please don't interrupt me." April throws Donnies words back at him and she waits until he locks his mouth like she did previously. "You weren't mutated wrong. or born any differently than anyone else. You just don't like the romantic or sexual kind of love, and that's totally okay! There are so many different levels of attraction, including no attraction whatsoever. And all those levels are completely valid. You don't need to fall in love to live a normal, happy life. You have your family, and our love could be enough! Does that make sense?"
"Yes, your explanation was quite good." Donnie says after unlocking his mouth. "You really are all-knowing."
"But I'm still not old," April pouts and Donnie chuckles, wiping away his tears. April hands him a tissue and he fully dries his eyes, the meltdown averted. "Do you believe me now? I need you to say that you're not wrong."
"I'm not wrong," Donnie repeats softly. April smiles, satisfied. Donnie might have a thick skull and prefer to take things at factual value, but April knows how to break through her brother's defenses. "Is there an actual term for how I'm feeling? Or is this like one of those intangible things that I just have to accept even though it's not even really real?"
"Oh it's real alright. I think the term that will work best for you is aromantic asexual - aroace."
"Hmm. Aroace. Yes, this will suffice." Donnie nods once then wiggles his way out of her hug. He grabs the iPad he left sitting on April's desk and returns to whatever game he was playing before his inquiry. Though he doesn't say anything, April can see the relaxed droop of his shoulders and soft smile that graces his lips.
April smiles back to herself, then returns to her assignment. She's glad she could help her younger brother and that he trusts her enough to come to her for assistance. Maybe Don was right, and Maybe she is old, but that won't stop April from using all her 11-year-old might to make sure her brothers know they're loved and accepted. After all, it's what a big sister is supposed to do.
- - -
April loves her playdates with her youngest brother. Mikey will come over every couple of weeks, needing to be dropped off by Splinter since he's too little to travel to her house on his own like the other brothers. The playdates aren't as frequent as the times she spends with Donnie or Leo or even Raph, but April tries to see Mikey at least once every two weeks so he doesn't feel inferior to his brothers. April truly loves each and every one of her siblings with all of her heart and she couldn't ask for a better (or weirder) family.
This Saturday Mikey arrives at Aprils' in the mid-afternoon, after his nap. The youngest turtle is 8 now and really doesn't need naps anymore but Splinter still likes to put Mikey down to help lessen his never-ending supply of energy. A supply that gets even more bottomless when Mikey is overtired.
"Hi Mikey! Mr. Hamato," April greets, bowing slightly to Splinter as he drops off her youngest brother.
"April, I've told you to just call me Splinter." The rat in question says, entering the song and dance the two always perform when they interact.
"Yeah well, my Momma didn't raise no disrespect. She raised me right, and taught me how to be a respectful girl." April huffs, going through the unwritten script she's memorized by heart now.
"Damn right she did," April's mom walks up behind the girl, resting a hand on her daughter's shoulder and ending the choreographed performance right then and there. "Good to see you again, Splinter. And hello Mikey!"
"You as well, Carol." Splinter smiles warmly and Mikey gives April's mom a shy wave. Then Splinter turns to his son, kneeling down so he can be eye level with the turtle. "Be good and listen to Mrs. O'Neil, okay? I don't want to receive any reports on misbehaving. But most importantly, have fun my son! I'll pick you up later this evening."
"Okay Daddy, I will." Mikey says, reaching out to wrap his arms around Splinter. He breaks the hug after a few seconds and latches onto April's arm instead as she leads him inside. "Bye-bye!"
April takes Mikey up to her room, leaving the parents to talk alone for a bit. Her bedroom is simple - her twin bed, a nightstand, a desk, a small bookshelf, a little closet, and too many posters to count. However, everytime Mikey sets foot in the room his mouth always hangs open in wonder. April finds it adorable, really. All the turtles share some sort of curiosity for the surface world but Mikey is the one who openly expresses it the most and finds beauty in the most mundane of objects.
"Okay Mikaroni, what'll it be today? Paris Fashion Week? A ren faire? Something else entirely?" April turns her back to her youngest brother and starts rummaging through her closet, looking for something fun for Mikey to wear. Mikey's always been fascinated with everything on the surface, but what always catches his attention the most is all the different clothes people wear.
April remembers on one of his first trips to both the surface and her house, the littlest turtle kept tugging on her sleeve and asking why everyones 'skin' looked so different from each other. They were all humans, so why did they all look so unique? April had to kneel down and calmly explain to Mikey that humans covered up their skin with different cloths and accessories so they didn't walk around naked. She never thought she'd have to explain the concept of clothing to a turtle, but hey, there's a first time for everything.
Since then, Mikey always wants to play dressup when he comes over to April's house. To keep things interesting for the girl, April will come up with all sorts of make-believe stories and scenarios for the outfits her little brother picks. The duo's favorite story is of a princess getting ready for a Battle Ball. So Mikey can wear a long flowy ball gown but also wear shorts and a tank top underneath so he can be ready to fight off all the enemies that crash the dance.
"I dunno," Mikey answers April's question sullenly. The girl turns back around, dropping whatever clothes she was about to hold up. Her big sister senses are tingling.
Mikey avoids her gaze, looking at a chip in the floorboards rather than making direct eye contact. All his excitement and energy from a few minutes prior has vanished, leaving a dim ache in his eyes. Usually Mikey is all over the place, practically vibrating as he waits for April to hand him the outfits. Right now though, he's as still as can be. 'Still' is definitely not a Mikey trait. Something is wrong.
"What's the matter? Are you feeling okay?" The only reason April can think of that would keep Mikey from playing dress-up is that he's sick. April kneels in front of her brother and raises a hand to his forehead to check his temperature. He flinches back at her touch.
"I feel fine." Mikey bristles, hunching his shoulders. "I just don't want to play dress-up."
"That's okay, we don't have to play dress-up this time." April puts her hands in the air in surrender, "I also have my Barbies, or we can paint each others nails-"
"No! That's all girl stuff! I'm not s'posed to do girl things."
What.
"What?"
"Nail painting an' playing with dolls an' dressing up are all girl stuff."
"No they aren't."
"Yes they are!" Mikey swings his fists down and stomps his foot for emphasis. He might think he looks intimidating, but April just thinks he looks like a child on the verge of a tantrum.
"Do you realize how ridiculous you sound right now?" April asks, crossing her arms defensively and raising an eyebrow in judgment. Sure, he doesn't know any better but April is still highly offended at Mikey's sexist views. "There is no such thing as girl stuff and boy stuff."
"There is too!"
"And how on earth would you know?"
"Lilly told me!" Mikey lifts his chin all high and mighty, as if he just won the argument right there. "Lilly said that dressing up in dresses and skirts was for stupid girls and that real boys don't do that."
Oh damn you, Leo. April internally curses her younger brother and his 'righteous' tendency to self-project onto his siblings.
"Le- Lilly doesn't know what she's talking about."
"Yes she does," Mikey nods, "She's bigger than me so she obviously knows more than I do."
"Well who do you trust more? Your slightly bigger sibling who's literally only one year older than you and has had about as much real world experience as you do? Or you super awesome and way older big sister who is clearly an expert in all things in society?"
"You!" Mikey answers unhesitatingly as he giggles, the bright sound bubbling from his chest.
"That's what I thought." April crosses her arms again, though this time it's not in defense and is more because she's always right and she knows it. "So Mikey, listen to me when I say that boys can wear dresses and skirts and whatever else makes them feel happy. After all, the clothes don't make the turtle. The turtle makes the clothes, got it?"
"I think so,"
"Also you know that you can be a boy and wear dresses but you also don't have to be a boy if that doesn't feel right either."
"What else can I be though?"
"You can be a girl if you want. Or you could be neither boy nor girl. Or you can be both at once."
"Oh," Mikey pauses, his eyebrow ridges creasing in thought. "Those all kind of sound right. How do I pick one?"
"You don't have to! You can be something called genderfluid, meaning you switch between whichever gender feels right in the moment."
"I wanna be that! I already like-like every gender so why not also be every gender?"
"Awesome! I now dub thee, genderfluid!" April taps her hand on both of Mikey's shoulders, as if knighting him.
"And um…you're sure this is okay? Being genderfluid isn't wrong?" Mikey's voice is so timid, so small. Excitement bubbles just beneath the surface underneath a layer of fear that clouds his expression.
"You already said you trust me so trust me when I say your big sister's got your back. I wouldn't let you do something that is 'wrong' or lie about something like this."
"Okay," Mikey closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them again, the fear has disappeared and the excitement shines brightly through once more.
"I trust you."
"Attaboy!" April fondly rubs her hand across Mikey's hairless head - an action April finds herself doing all too often with her turtley brothers. "What are you feeling like right now?"
"Like a boy. Can you still call me your brother?"
"Of course." April can't help but smile as Mikey shoots her a toothy grin. All of his previous apprehension has all but dissipated, leaving behind nothing but the energetic little brother April knows and loves.
"Now," April reaches into her closet, pulling out a long pink gown and some of her athletic wear. "Care to attend a Battle Ball?"
- - -
April sits on the floor of the sewers, a serious expression on her face as she surveys her four other brothers. She called a family meeting - the first one she's ever actually officially called - and the five siblings sit in a circle together. The turtles all look varying levels of concerned. Raph is the most concerned, a mini chasm forming on his forehead. He is followed closely behind by Mikey, who is practically vibrating in his seat with both anxiety and uncontained energy. Next to Mikey is Leo, who is trying so hard to mask his expression and is failing miserably. Last up is Donnie, who truly doesn't give a shit and shows it (his headphones are hanging around his neck though, so April knows he's listening).
"Before we start, I want to say that this is a safe space. We're a family, and we all love and accept each other very much." Instantly the atmosphere in the room grows heavier and every turtle squirms. April is the best, most protective big sister, but even she enjoys messing with her brothers and putting them on edge. "I have called this meeting because I wish to share something with you. Something I have known for a while, but haven't been able to put into words until now."
Now all her brother's eyes widen with fear - even Donnie's emotionally-unavailable expression cracks. She can read the turtles perfectly. She knows each of them came out to her on their own, but they don't know that literally everyone else in this family is a part of the LGBTQ+ community as well. She knows exactly what they're afraid of right now. But she'd never tell their secrets and out them. She likes messing with them, not being mean.
"I wanted to tell you guys that I'm a lesbian. That means I like-like girls instead of boys." Collectively the room lets out a sigh of relief and the turtles grin, happy for her rather than scared for themselves. "I'm coming out to you guys because I love and trust you all. And I know you'd all accept me no matter what, right?"
"Of course!" Mikey is the first to answer, jumping up on his knees and smiling so brightly it makes April squint.
"Yeah, you're our big sis and we love you no matter who you love." Raph lightly punches April's shoulder, offering her a small smile of his own.
"Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us," Leo says, averting his gaze, "I think that was really brave."
"We'll always accept you. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't," Donnie chimes in, briefly making eye-contact with April. She smiles, the love for her brothers overflowing at the moment.
"Aw, thanks guys! I knew you'd be accepting, but it makes my day to actually hear you say all that." She opens her arms and four turtles fling themselves into the group hug. Tears of joy prick at the corners of April's eyes. Even though she knew how they'd react, coming out to family is still hard - especially with all the horror stories April has heard. All the stress she didn't even realize she had just melts away and is replaced by the pure love coming from her family.
After a few minutes April pulls away from the hug, though Mikey still clings lightly to her arm. She looks at each of her brothers as they all settle back into their positions, forming an uneven circle again.
"While we're all here," April says, shifting topics, "is there anything else anyone would like to share?"
After a brief moment of silence, four shaky hands slowly rise. April smiles.
A big sister always knows.