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Chip has made a grave mistake.
Okay, maybe it could be worse. It definitely could be worse.
It doesn’t stop the dread sinking into the pit of his stomach as the shattered glass of his love potion winks shrapnels of sparkling pink light back up at him, fumes blooming upwards. It’s too late for him to even think before he inhales the smell of sweet peonies, roses, raspberries and cherry blossoms, its sugar-filled aroma filling his lungs.
This is fine , Chip says, even though everything is Not Fine.
I just need to go hide somewhere for…like, a day for so, don’t look at anyone, and it’ll be fine—
“Chip!” The door in front of him bursts open, and before he could react, Gillion bowls through the entrance of the cabin, and his eyes instinctively lift towards his friend.
Fuck.
“Earl made some juice, and I figured I’d–” Gillion’s feet stop suddenly at the edges of the broken potion. “Did you drop something? Hey, why do your eyes look all pink…”
Chip’s vision tints as the same color leaves Gillion’s mouth. He feels a smile spread across his face, smooth as butter, as he stares up at Gillion. His cheeks and ears feel warm as rosacea bleeds into his skin.
Has Gill ever looked this beautiful?
Chip isn’t sure, and he knows the potion is taking effect, but he can’t help but stare at the crown of coral gracing his friend’s hair, which falls in dark green curls and lightening to a leafy hue at the tips, framing the structured angles of his face. His eyes are sky-blue, and their shape is energetic and welcoming. His shoulders are broad and strong, his arms muscular and built from years of training, sword handling…
…Chip has heard of great sculptors in mana, and he imagines they would die to chisel Gillion’s liking into marble and stone. To present it for the world to see, to put him on a pedestal and worship such a masterpiece.
Chip falls back on his hands, barely propping himself up as he releases a huge sigh from his lungs, his gaze unable to waver from his friend.
Gillion’s grin falters, and a part of Chip begins to panic, desperate to fix it, to give him every reason to smile again.
Chip slowly gets up on his feet, stepping on the broken vial's glass, ignorant to the way it crunches loudly under the sole of his boot.
“…Chip?” Gillion says, voice laced in uncertainty.
The sound of his own name in Gill’s mouth became Chip’s favorite kind of music, and all the crumbs of willpower he tried holding on to are released from his desperate grasp, scattering in between cracks of the ship’s floorboards.
“Gillion!” Chip exclaims breathily.
Within moments, Chip is off the ground, in the air, and then latched onto Gill like a spider monkey, legs locked around his friend's torso, arms rung around his neck.
He feels Gillion’s arms instinctively come to support him around his back.
“What’s this about?” Gillion asks, a small smile on his face despite looking a little lost. Chip is never really this affectionate.
“Ah, nothing ,” Chip practically swoons at the sight of his smile, leaning a bit away from Gillion as he tilts his his head back playfully ( Get a fucking GRIP , a small voice sounding mysteriously like Lizzie inside of him yells), only to swing back, pressing his forehead against Gillion’s, “I just like you. Heheh.”
“I like you too, Chip!” Gillion replies easily, gently giving Chip a squeeze around his torso as he holds him like he’s nothing more than a sack of potatoes.
It’s like Chip has died and gone to heaven.
“I just…I’ve never held you like this…” Gill trails off.
“Oh! That’s because I wanted to do something.”
Chip leans in and kisses him, and the giddiness within him feels like it’s exploding through every inch of his body like firecrackers. Gillion only hesitates for a moment before returning the kiss in fervor, his arms tightening around Chip again as he stumbles backwards, his back hitting the door frame. Chip hums, a smile fighting to take over as his lips move passionately over Gill’s, and gods, it feels like Chip has been wanting this for a long, long, time.
His hands come to rest over Gillion’s cheeks and he brushes his thumb over them, marveling at the moon goddess’s work. His fingers rake through hair that feels like the richest silk Chip has ever touched. Gillion’s lips are gentle and safe. He smells of salt and tastes mango juice on his tongue (Chip thanks Earl for this) and he presses every inch of himself flush to Gill, the potion surging happily through his veins. Every bit of skin contact feels like the satisfaction of fitting a puzzle piece into place, like the pleasant feeling of warm chocolate melting in his mouth.
Chip breaks for air. Gill’s face is heated and dark blue, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
Hah. Fish out of water , Chip giggles to himself, high on dopamine.
Gillion’s eyes dart across every inch of Chip’s face, constantly landing back on his mouth. Chip is torn between kissing him again and just ogling like he already is. He’s convinced himself that it’s a harder inner battle than anything else he’s ever faced in his life.
It definitely isn’t, but Chip isn’t in his right mind, and honestly? He’s pretty okay with it.
“ Chip ,” Gill breathes, the hot air hitting Chip’s lips.
“Mhmm? Yeah.”
“I—I didn’t know you felt—“
A knock hits the wood behind them, the door handle jiggling. Gillion’s mouth falls shut. He moves his weight off the door, still carrying Chip effortlessly, and turns to see who opens it.
Jay’s head pokes into the room and her eyebrows shoot up so far, Chip was momentarily convinced they’d fly off.
“Did I…interrupt something?”
“No—“ Gillion begins.
“ Yes ,” Chips groans irritatedly.
Gillion and Chip look between each other and Chip’s annoyance instantly melts, Gillion’s face still dark all over and Chip’s stuck with rosy cheeks, his lips swollen.
Jay takes this all in, sucking in a deep breath, because holy fuck being on a ship with these two is a fucking gay disaster, and then her eyes land on the sparkling glass pile behind the pair, the slightest bits of pinkish gas still permeating from its broken pieces.
She looks at Chip.
“Fucking hell, Chip, what did you do. ”
Everything I’ve ever wanted to do . “Nothing!”
She points at the glass.
“What was that?”
She already knows the answer, but she needs to hear it loud and clear in Chip’s stupid fucking voice, so she can have a verbal confirmation of Chip voicing the consequences of his actions.
Chip stares at her finger, twisted awkwardly in Gill’s embrace so he could blink drunkenly at her with a lazy smile. He follows it slowly, head twisting back to face Gillion, practicing extreme physical restraint to not kiss him again, and past his (‘ broad, strong, gorgeous, chiseled shoulders’, Chip sighs internally ) completely normal shoulder, eyes landing on his incident of the day.
“Oh. That ?” He finally says.
Jay smacks a hand to her head, dragging it down her face.
“ Yes, that. ”
“It was a love potion.”
“And why is it no longer a love potion?”
“Because I broke it and accidentally inhaled it.”
Jay nods. “Yeah. Figures.”
Her eyes move from Chip’s and over to Gillion’s, braving herself for the extreme peer mediation she’s been preparing to do for months now.
Because Jay knows everything. And she knew, eventually, that something like this was going to happen. And it’s up to her, the least disastrous of the three (And that’s saying a lot ) to make sense of it.
The smile on Gillion’s face has fallen. It’s like the heat in his cheeks has been sucked away with it, leaving his face looking almost paler than normal. Jay fights herself to not look sympathetic as the realization hits him in full force, and his arms loosen suddenly, Chip crumpling to the floor like a rag doll.
“Ow.”
Gillion doesn’t even notice. “You’re under a love spell, Chip?”
“Yeah, I guess so!” Chip grins from the ground, his cheek squished against the wooden floor.
“ You guess so ,” Gillion echoes the words in his own mouth, each one sounding hollow and far away. “You know what? I really need to get some air.”
He wipes his mouth with his arm, tenderly stepping over Chip and marching past Jay, refusing to look either of them in the eye.
As soon as the door closes. Jay walks over, leans down and punches Chip in the arm. Hard .
“OUCH! Fuck , Jay! What was that for?”
“You know damn well what that was for,” Jay seethes, her face hard and serious.
“Because I kissed Gill?”
“No, you idiot! That wouldn’t have been a problem! In fact, it would’ve been fucking great had you been your normal fucking self! Gods!” Jay groans, pressing her face into her hands.
“I…don’t get it,” Chip says. Even so, the pit in his stomach from earlier makes a quiet return at the heat in Jay’s words.
“No, I think you do,” Jay says through gritted teeth, “You’ve just been too scared to admit it.
Chip finds himself at a loss for words.
He thinks of how it felt to kiss Gillion for the second time. He thinks harder about every emotion running through his body—sure, the effects of the love potion. But the relief; there was so much relief at finally having some easy excuse to let loose, to do what he’s wanted for so long.
He gulps.
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” Jay nods. “And if your emotionally constipated ass can’t tell, Gillion feels the same. I think he’s got it figured out for a while now. He just didn’t think you felt that way.”
Chip’s brain is screaming at all this information right now. His vision is still rose-colored, and he’s desperate to see Gillion, to touch him and taste him and to stare at his big gorgeous muscles that have really caught his attention a little more than usual. Gods, he just wants to chomp down on them like an a—
“Hello? Are you even listening right now?” Jay waves a hand over his face.
Chip blinks, shaking out of his reverie. “Oh. Yes. Sorry. So basically….I’m a huge idiot and Gillion likes me and I’ve liked him this whole time and I just need a literal love potion to figure it out because I have severe emotional issues and don’t think anyone alive could ever love me the way he does.”
Jay nods. “Yep.”
“Okay, cool. Well I’m gonna just wait for this to wear off, if you wanna just keep me locked in for a bit.”
“Yes,” Jay agrees. She grabs Chip by the shoulders. “Just…promise me you’ll talk to him after this. Please .”
Chip nods, ignoring the voices screaming at him to talk to Gillion now, Now, go see him now!
“Of course. I know him and I…we’re not the best at this. But I’ll make sure it’s different this time.”
Jay stands up, satisfied with his answer. “Good. I’ll be back later.”
“Okay. And Jay?”
“Yeah, Chip?”
“Can you give him another few kisses and hugs from me—“
She slams the door closed.
“Fair.”
When the pink in Chips' eyes finally fades, leaving Jay inspecting brown, traumatized pupils ( “Gods, why do you always look so…” “…Dead inside?” “…I wasn’t going to say it, but…” ) she deems him free to go, and sends him straight Gillion’s way.
“He’s over at the bowsprit,” she says, “ Don’t fuck this up. Or I’ll kill you.”
“Jeez, okay! I’ll be fine!” Chip says, still Not Fine.
“I’m sure.”
With that, he leaves Jay in the captain's quarters, where she ended up smuggling Chip into overnight so she, Gillion, and the rest of the crew could sleep in their beds.
He sees Gillion looking off into the sea, his head of green swaying in the breeze. Chip puts his hands into his pockets and braces himself, forcing his feet forward. There’s no running this time.
Gillion hears him as he’s only a few feet away, turning and stepping back reactively.
“Chip, I don’t think—“
“Gill, I love you.”
The words tumble out before Chip could even think of anything better to say. He decides to let his heart speak for him, split it open down the middle and really let it bleed.
“I love you, and I hate it took me a stupid fucking potion to fully realize it. And I hate that if I never broke it, I…I don’t know how long it would’ve taken me. And I’m sorry. For everything.”
Gillion's expression slowly softens as the words push into his chest, and he soaks each one up like moonlight.
“Chip…I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” Chip replies. “I just needed you to hear it from me—the actual, sober me. The one that doesn’t want to bite into you like an apple.”
“What?”
“Nevermind. Just know I love you.”
Gillion smiles. He turns and looks back at the ocean.
“I never had been in love before I met you, Chip.”
Chips heart soars. He steps closer, listening intently, eyes unwavering.
“I wasn’t allowed that luxury—if you could call it that. To me, relationships are. There was a point in my life where I didn’t think I needed them, that I was born to be a vessel. You and Jay taught me so much. You— you have taught me so much. I wouldn’t have been the same without you. You’re selfless, and brave, and kind—“
“Not brave like you.”
“…No, but you’re brave in your own ways. And I see it. I’ve felt it. And I love, I love you .”
Chip grabs Gillion’s hand, gripping it tightly in his own.
Being close to him feels nice—the normal kind of nice. Not overwhelming, not world ending if he wasn’t near…just how it’s always been. The sky is dark save for the stars, the colorful dust smattering the inky black space in between each one, and the world sleeps for just the two of them. The rest of the crew is inside, sharing drinks (and definitely not trying to snoop) under soft candlelight, the warmth shining through circular windows. Chip leans into him gently and puts his head on Gillion’s shoulder, taking in his scent and memorizing it fully, as he’s done a million times before when Gillion didn’t notice.
He smiles.
“I know.”