Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Something had changed with the Princess.

You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but she had been acting different these past few months. You had worked as her Royal Maid for enough years to notice. She was always a quiet and reserved young woman. Not pompous and flighty like some other noble ladies you could mention. She was polite and forgiving, sure, but she was never friendly. She preferred books and solitude. Some said she was shirking her duties to unlock her magic powers, but you had seen her praying in the Churches more than some priests. You didn’t see what more she could do and it wasn’t your place to speak up on the matter.

But this morning was a perfect example.

You were awoken bright and early as always and made your way to the bedchambers of the Princess. Past the guards patrolling the halls and the tapestries depicting ancient legends that stuffy men with glasses insisted was history. You reached the chamber door and the female Shiekah guards gave you a quick test to determine your identity. Security hadn’t always been this involved, but ever since the Princess’s close call with the Yiga in Gerudo Desert, the King was not taking any chances.

You passed, of course, and were allowed into her majesty’s bedroom. A two story room larger than your apartment back in Castle Town with a bridge leading to the Princess’s Study. Normally, you would open the curtains and awake the Princess with a greeting, but today you were met with the curtains already drawn and the bed canopies pushed aside. The Princess Zelda was awake, sitting at her writing desk, a hair brush in her hand and a tune in her voice. She ran the comb down her long, golden hair like wheat fields in late summer. She hummed the Royal Lullaby to herself. You are no blushing young maid, but even you can’t help be in awe of the sight before you for just a moment. You so rarely see the Princess at ease, especially with all the talk of the Calamity hanging in the air. You could only see her this happy at the library when the King and his Court were away on a hunt. Yet you knew for a fact that the King was right at Hyrule Castle.

And brushing her own hair? The Princess never brushed her own hair. She would tie it up in a ponytail like a stable girl if the King hadn’t forbidden it. Otherwise, she was usually content to let you untangle her bedhead while she distracted herself with a book.

Something good must have happened.

“Good morning, Princess.” You said, as you had hundreds of times over the years. You expected a polite response. A simple acknowledgement. You had worked for too many lords and ladies to expect overt friendliness. What you were not expecting was the Princess to turn to you and beam that smile of hers. Then for her to greet you with such enthusiasm, she even addressed you by name.

“I need help to finish my hair. Link and I are riding out to Rito Village today to see the Divine Beast and I wish to start as soon as possible.” Zelda explained.

Another new development. For months now she had stopped referring to the Hero Chosen by the Sword as her bodyguard (and always in a tone of annoyance or disgust.) But she had called him Sir Link, as was proper given his rank and station. Or the Champion Link. Now here she was referring to him just a Link. How very…familiar.

“Well then we haven’t a moment to waste.” You said, politely taking the comb from the Princess and continuing her work.

“Once you are done, please inform the kitchens that we will need supplies for several days.”

“I shall see to it that the chefs prepare you and Sir Link several meals.” You say.

“That won’t be necessary.” The Princess intercedes. “Sir Link is an excellent chef and enjoys cooking. He just needs the ingredients.”

“Is he now?” You inquire. You think you heard somewhere that the young knight known as Link knew his way around a cooking pot. You didn’t think much of it then. Back when Sir Link was announced to have drawn the sword, there was no end of gossip to decipher who this new hero of legend was. Again though, it was significant that the Princess herself would take mention it. It was a complete turn around from when he was first assigned as her personal knight.

“Yes. Not only is he quite a glutton, he knows how to cook as well. Apparently, his mother taught him.” Zelda shared.

On and on she went on like this, like a young girl chatting freely about her day. It was such a pleasant change of pace from her cold demeaner you let her carry on while you finished up. She continued chatting even as you helped her get dressed in her usual riding pants and blouse. Not the outfit you would pick out for a lady, but the Princess wore it well and wore it often.

You just finished packing the last of the Princess’s clothes for her journey when there was a knock at her door.

“Enter.” The Princess spoke.

The door swung open and it was Sir Link, dressed in the Champion’s Tunic that the Princess herself had sewn for him and with the Master Sword sheathed behind his back. You didn’t see, but the Princess lit up brighter than the morning sun at the sight of her knight.

“Good morning, Princess.” Link spoke, and you startled. You had never heard the young man speak before. You would have sworn up and down that he was a mute. “The horses are ready and I have our food supplies ready.”

“Perfect.” The Princess beamed. With all the grace due to her station, she turned to you. “I suppose I will not need that request from you after all. Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Princess.” You reply. “Have a safe journey.”

With that, they left, walking side by side instead of their usual parade of Zelda leading the way with her knight no more than three steps behind her. Your first task of the day completed you cleaned up the Princess’s chambers and then assisted the maids with cleaning whatever else needed cleaning. Some of the younger maids made a comment about how it felt like they were running a race around the castle with brooms. Cleaning one section and then the next the day after. You told her if she was bored of the monotony, she could sweep the halls they had done the day before. That shut her trap quite abruptly.

You found yourself in the Northwestern part of the outer walls, near some look out tower that you didn’t know the name of. Only to hear one of your friends in the Guard call to you. The guard beckoned you towards him and begged you to look into his spy glass. You obliged, wondering what was so important that it would require your attention. Surely a monster attack would necessitate a hasty call to arms. You look through the spyglass and see a lone tree atop a hill between the Irch Plains and the Royal Ancient Labs. On the hill you could just make out two horses. One brown and one white as snow. You could recognize that steed anywhere, but the two figures wearing blue left no doubt in your mind.

It was the Princess and her Knight. Sitting in the grass together. All alone.

Well, Sir Link was sitting. Princess Zelda was moving around much like a child spotting fireflies. You had never seen her look so carefree, though from this distance they both looked like dolls even with the spyglass. The Princess then fell onto all fours and seemed to pause. You had to blush. Such an uncouthed position for the Royal Princess to be in, and with her Knight right behind her and now crawling next to her. The Princess jumped again and then immediately turned to face Sir Link. She then scooted closer to him on her knees and you thought you would have a heart attack.

If you didn’t know any better, you would say they were two teenagers on a date.

No, preposterous, absolute madness. She was the Princess, Heir to the Throne, Keeper of the Sacred Bloodline. She couldn’t be canoodling with a common born knight. Even one of the Champions. Even the Hero Chosen by the Master Sword, destined to save them all. No, the Princess falling for her knight? That was the stuff of fairytales. The real world had no room for such frippery.

Oh who were you kidding, you knew it was possible, it was just folly. You were an old hand. You knew how these things went. Yet in every new generation there were always young maids clucking about a young lord or noble knight falling in love with their beauty in their simple dresses, then sweeping them off their feet into a life of luxury? You had been no better. You had been a silly little maid once, just starting out serving the House of Bosphoramus. You had even gone further than most. Having your own little fling with the Young Master Rhoam. Oh he was dashing back then. Six feet tall, broad shoulders, strong from all his time spent practicing in the yard with his Claymore. And he was so charming to you. Telling you sweet nothings as you both sat under a tree sharing fruits from the picnic you had packed. You knew it wasn’t too last. Your friends and your mother and Lord Rhoam told you as much. He let you down gently even before his engagement to the late Queen was announced. He got you a position as a Royal Servant for your loyalty and you found a good husband in Castle Town that you never would have met otherwise.

Sir Link wasn’t destined for your happy ending though. He had risen as high as a common born man could. The rules were different for him. He could be made a lord for his service and given lands, but he could never marry the Princess. She was to be Queen and pass down the Sacred Bloodline. She would marry a nobleman from the Lynelhart or Akkala House.

“That’s not the Princess, you don’t think?” The guard asked. You startled, being yanked free of your own thoughts. You looked again, hoping to be wrong. The Princess was now pushing her knight away? Or she was trying to hand him something?

You passed the guard back his spyglass.

“No, no I don’t think that’s her.” You say. You don’t know why you lied. Or maybe you just don’t want to admit why. Admit that you are fine with them carrying on with this while the Calamity looms ever closer. After all, you were young once.

Chapter Text

The torches were lit along the state room, illuminating the long table where some of the most consequential meetings in living memory had taken place. As a scholar of humble beginnings, you felt honored to be invited to such a meeting. You had no idea what for though. You were not one of the tenured historians tasked by the King to uncover the history of the first Calamity or the Shiekah technology related to it. You were merely the tutor to her royal highness, Princess Zelda. Your report on the progress of her studies was not due for another month. Had she been slipping in her studies; you would be the one to inform the King. Unless he wished to broaden her education. Her lessons on social economics had certainly taken a backseat ever since the King ordered her to focus more of her time on prayer in order to unlock her dormant powers of the Goddess. But still, the King merely had to send a written order…

The chamber door swung open and all the air left your lungs. In sauntered the most beautiful woman you had ever laid eyes on. Seven feet of orange copper skin, the signature of the Gerudo people. Wearing their usual airy, colorful garb with golden jewelry tinkling with every long step on clanking high heels. A golden shield and curved sword strapped to her wide hips. A golden crown of sunbeams weaved into her waterfall of fiery red hair. It could only be the Chiefess of the Gerudo, Lady Urbosa.

Without hesitation, she sat down right next to the head chair at the far end of the table where the King would sit. Diagonal from you who sat a respectable seat away from the King’s future position. The Chiefess turned to you and your back automatically straightened. Sweet Hylia, her lipstick was very blue.

“Tell me that the King will not be long.” Urbosa asked you in demanding way. “Two messages in two days before I can even reply to his summons. He had better have a good reason for having me drop everything to attend this meeting.”

You gulped, as lost as she was to what the King could possibly want with such haste. It couldn’t be the Calamity, surely. There would be no doubt if it was.

“I could not say.” You admit. “I am as puzzled as you are, my Lady.” You say, remembering your courtesies.

Lady Urbosa harrumphed and sat back in her seat, yet kept her posture straight. Say what you will of the Gerudo (and you happen to be an admirer of their culture) they were warriors, all of them. The sun and the sands of their desert were as harsh as their blades to your throat.

Another door opened and in walked another beauty. A Shiekah by her garb. With long silver hair, half rolled up into a bun and the rest tied up in a pony tail that ran past her shorts to her leotard thighs. Lady Impa, envoy of the Shiekah and one of Princess Zelda’s Guard.

“Impa!” Urbosa greeted with enthusiasm. “I haven’t seen you in a dog’s age. How are you?”

“Lady Urbosa,” Impa bowed her head politely at Urbosa, then turned to you and greeted you politely as well. “I am doing fine. I hope you are as well. Do you happen to know the reason for this summons?”

“I just came sprinting across the desert and had to buy new horses to make the journey in time. The Calamity has made the King twitchy as a ferret. What in Hylia’s name could be the cause for this meeting that he could not divulge in a letter?”

A final door opened, larger and grander than all the rest, and two knights entered to stand opposite either side of the door. Their uniforms crisp and correct from their thigh high white boots to the dark blue berets atop their heads. Signature of the Royal Guard.

“All rise for his Majesty, King Rhoam!” The male knight bellowed for all three occupants in the room to hear. Quickly you rose, less you give offense to the King of Hyrule himself. Lady Impa matched your pace with ease and grace, while Lady Urbosa sat up gingerly with a roll of her emerald green eyes. King Rhoam, standing vast and powerful as ever, walked in through the door and beelined for his chair at the center of the long table. He sat down as quickly as he pulled the chair back and looked up at his guests. “Thank you all for coming. Be seated.”

Urbosa sat back down first. Her elbows on the table while you and Lady Impa sat with your hands in your lap. The Royal Guard stepped back behind the large doors and shut them. Leaving the four of you alone. The King leaned forward on the table.

“I have an urgent matter that must be dealt with immediately. There is a rumor going around and I mean to get to the bottom with it post haste. It concerns my daughter, Princess Zelda.”

“You sent three messengers in three days to have me come listen to gossip?” Urbosa said, making you gasp. To interrupt the King himself at his own council table.

“You three are some of the Princess’s closest companions.” The King continued. “I need your insight to see if there is any truth to this rumor. It could spell disaster if word were to get out. So this must be kept within this table.”

“Spit it out already, Rhoam.” Urbosa said. “What has been said about my Little Bird?”

“There is a rumor…” The King began, whispering conspiratorially. “That the Princess and her appointed Knight are… romantically involved.”

You went wide eyed. This news hit you like a 5-inch-thick textbook to the face. The Princess and her Knight? Sir Link of Hateno? The Hero Chosen by the Sword that Seals the Darkness? The young man is common born. His Grandfather was a Rancher. His father a knight, true, but…

“Oh, is that all?” Urbosa asked, nonplused. Impa just kept her silence.

“Is that all?!” The King repeated. “Did you know of this?”

“I keep an ear out for anything said about my Little Bird.” Urbosa said in her even tone. “Including her relationship with her Appointed Knight. It was plain enough that her demeaner around the boy had changed dramatically after he saved her from the Yiga. He is a brave knight, strong and true. If he leads her to happiness, then I approve.”

“Approve?” The King parroted, apparently unable to comprehend her nonchalance. “He is her Knight. A common born knight. I did not appoint Sir Link to canoodle with my daughter! I selected him to protect her! Nothing more!”

“Oh please, you would love to have Link as a son-in-law.” Urbosa replied, her words slicing the rising tension in the room. The King himself stared at her, caught off guard. You had never seen his Majesty at such a loss for words.

“What? Why on Earth would you think that?” The King sputtered.

“Is he not exactly who you would want as a son?” Urbosa inquired knowingly. “I heard no end of praise coming from your letters after he pulled the Master Sword. How brave and skilled he was as a knight. How dedicated and true he was. His love of food, animals, and nature. I recall another young man who had an endless taste for adventure too. Who would rather train with swords and bows, go horseback riding, and camp out in the Wilds before he sat through any kind of lecture. It is a wonder that you ever found love with Queen Zelda. She was such a pious young vai. Though she had her own adventurous streak that she kept suppressed for the sake of her duty.”

“Hmmmm…” The King grumbled.

“So I ask again, would it be such a bad thing to have the chosen hero as the next King? The Princess is… not so popular with the masses. They have seen so little of her. She has been locked away in the Castle. The people only hear of her leaving in order to pray to unlock her powers, yet she never does. Sir Link on the other hand has been all over the Kingdom, serving its people well. Destroying monsters, helping nobles and commoners alike. It puts people at ease to see him carry that sword. To enter in a romantic relationship with the Princess would help the Royal Family’s popularity.” Urbosa reasoned.

The King leaned back in his chair and scoffed, as if imagining future arguments to come. “The Lynelharts won’t like it. They were promised the hand of the heir to the throne back when I took their spot at the late Queen’s request.”

“That agreement was made before the Calamity was foretold. Surely your Hylian Nobles can see the circumstances have changed. Another bargain can be struck for Zelda’s children and your Nobles can be grateful that the Calamity was defeated.” Urbosa waved a hand dismissively.

“And that is another thing—”

Oh here we go… You think.

 “—She needs to focus on unlocking her sealing magic. She cannot waste her energies on a frivolous romance. Time is of the essence.”

“She is.” Urbosa insisted firmly. “She has devoted years of her life to praying and continues to do so. With Link she is more willing to venture out to far off shrines and springs. Furthermore, as she is the only one able to seal Calamity Ganon away, she needs the best protection in the Kingdom. That is Sir Link. As he is also the Hero Chosen by the Sword. He should be at the Princess’s side at all times. No matter how you slice it. The Princess and her Knight must remain inseparable.”

“If anything.” Impa chimed in. “This is a blessing. They must fight Calamity Ganon together. If they love one another, they will fight all the harder to protect each other. More than duty would ever grant them.”

The King scowled before turning to you, addressing you by name. “You are my daughter’s tutor. What say you to this folly?”

You pause, all eyes on you now. Clearly the King wished for you to join his side in the debate as a last-ditch chance to not be outnumbered. You would never wish to disappoint the King, but one of the most important duties of a scholar was to speak unwanted truths.

“Your Majesty, I must concur with Lady Urbosa.” You spoke. “Nayru smiles on her words. It also bares precedent with the Heroes and Princesses of Legend. Many times, in history and myth, the Hero of Hyrule would court the Princess after the defeat of some great evil. What followed would always be a golden age. Many scholars would argue that these golden ages came about because of their union.”

“I do not need debates from scholars. I need facts.” King Rhoam demanded. “Have you any facts for me to consider?”

“I…” You say, thinking back. What did you think of it? You were not concerned with the Princess’s personal life. You were a scholar. Your interests were in academics, history, and the pursuit of knowledge. What did you honestly care if the Princess and her Knight were pursuing a relationship? That it would upset Lord Lynelhart? For sure, wars had been started over slights such as this, but wars had been started over turnip fields. You thought of the Princess. She was a diligent student. There was much talk about her desire to be a scholar in her own right. She was endlessly fascinated by history, technology, engineering, and science. You told her often about the joys of being a scholar. Of those long nights of endless toil in front of a book to find that shred of proof that confirmed or denied your thesis. The quiet solitude where you could know peace from the world to read about what once had been. Yet now it made you sad. The life of a scholar was a lonely one, to be sure. Dozens of peers, yet little time for friends. Your eyes glanced over at Lady Urbosa and you considered her words. She spoke truth. For the sake of the Kingdom and themselves, the best place for Sir Link to be was at the side of Princess Zelda.

A scholar and a warrior. What an interesting dichotomy.

“I stand by my earlier point, your Majesty.” You say. “The Kingdom has benefited from a union between the hero and princess before. It can again.”

The King frowned, his last hope for an ally, gone.

“Your Majesty, consider this.” Impa spoke up. “For now, it gives the gossip mongers you loath so much something pleasant to chat about. They can titter about the Princess’s love life instead of her struggle to unlock her powers.”

“And if they say she is wasting her time flirting instead of unlocking her powers that will determine the fate of the entire Kingdom?” Rhoam breathed.

“Then the talk has remained unchanged. What has changed is the Princess is now happy.” Urbosa said. “A bird you won’t let fly should at least be allowed to sing.”

King Rhoam massaged his temple with his fingers as he stared at each table occupant in turn. You gulped, hoping you had done the right thing.

“I can see you are all determined to do nothing and let this play out. I suppose the Princess is not shirking from her duties, so it would not do to berate her for this. Very well, but if this were to change. Or if Sir Link plays my daughter false—”

“Sir Link would never!” Impa said fervently.

“If the Hylian Champion ever lays a hand on my Little Bird, he will lose the hand.” Urbosa declared. “Hylia willing, it will not be his sword hand, not until the Calamity is vanquished once and for all.” She stood up, clearly at the end of her patience for this entire discussion. “My King, if that is all, I shall retire to my quarters before departing at dawn. With your leave, of course. I must return to Gerudo Town and resume leading the hunt for the Yiga.”

King Rhoam sighed. “Yes, of course. Thank you, Chiefess Urbosa.”

The Gerudo Chiefess bowed to the King and to Lady Impa before finally turning to you. You gulped, again struck by how blue her lipstick was.

“Good night to you all.” Urbosa said before turning away to walk briskly down the long table to the door from whence she came. You watched her go. Her sword and shield bouncing with every easy step. You thought of the scholar and warrior again. Then you stood up and asked the King for your own leave to go, then followed after the Chiefess of the Gerudo, hoping to catch up to her before she reached her chambers.

Chapter Text

Rule #1 of the Mailman's creed: Never look at the content's of your patron's letters.

That was the iron clad rule beaten into all trainees of the noble profession of Hyrulian Mailmen. They were the lifeblood of information that passed through the roads of Hyrule. While the Rito might have their wings, Hylians had their honor. As a fifth generation Mailman, you held these rules above all others. You would rather hack off your own legs than break the trust all of Hyrule had in the integrity of the uniform you wore.

Of course that was before you saw the wax seal pop off the letter the Princess had wrote to her Knight.

It was the damnedest thing. A complete accident. You were running along the dirt path. Heart rate optimal, breathing steady, your legs in their perfect stride. You were making good time in spite of the rain and the mud. One loose footing though is all it took. You fell, catching yourself before you face planted, but your momentum had all the letters in your satchel go flying.

You were trained for this though. You snatched up the letters before half of them could touch the ground. The rest took on some flecks of mud, but nothing a quick brush of the hand couldn’t fix. Yet the most important letter, the one written by the Princess herself. That was the one that landed a hair’s breath away from a puddle.

You were on your knees thanking Hylia when you held the letter to your chest to shield it from the rain. Not a corner had dipped in the dirty water though. No way was the contents inside tarnished.

That should have been the end of it. You should have placed the letter back in your satchel where it belonged, wiped yourself off, and got back into your run. That’s what you were trained to do. That’s what your father would have done and his mother before him. That’s what you wanted to do, until you saw the wax seal had popped off and the letter had opened.

Curiosity got the better of you. A lifetime of mailman work had you wondering how this was possible. The Royal Family and their servants were not known for buying cheap wax. The King had entrusted you with many of his letters before. Orders and invitations to this lord or that general. All of which had taken their beating by wind and rain, yet held together. And the Princess had always had a firm hand in her seals. You had delivered letters for her before. Specifically to her knight as it were. Dozens over the past few months in fact. So why this one?

Well you already knew the answer as soon as you stopped to really hold the letter in your hands. The envelope was a centimeter thick with paper. It wasn’t heavy enough to be anything else but paper. Whatever the Princess had written for her Knight must have been thirty pages long at least.

Now that really made you curious, but the rain was still coming down. You stood back up, but found your knees sore. Your runner’s high was fading. Maybe it was time for a break?

Looking ahead, you noticed a lone tree by the roadside and thanked Hylia again. A good sturdy oak with a wide umbrella of leaves? And there hadn’t been any rumbling of thunder all day? You jogged over to sit down for a minute to do what you really wanted to do. Think.

You sat down under the tree next to three little stone statues with bowls at their feet for offerings. Two of the statues had apples while the smallest of the three was without. Not that it mattered to you though. You already had lunch in your bag and you were just grateful not to have rain pounding on your back for the first time all morning. A fire would have been welcome too, but you weren’t one to be greedy. You were two hills from your destination already. The Army Camp would have fires aplenty and a bowl of hot stew for any Mailman who brought the soldiers word from home.

You leaned back against the tree trunk and got back to your thoughts. About the letter and the rule you should never break. By all means it shouldn’t even be a discussion worth having. The Princess had written hundreds of letters in her lifetime, why should this one be any different? Because it was a longer letter than you had yet seen from her? Because it was for her Knight? They had written dozens of letters to each other. Dozens.

Of course they would. They were separated, weren’t they? Three months ago the largest cave of Lizalfos anyone had ever heard of was discovered east of the Dueling Peaks. The Hylian Army was dispatched to root them out with the Hylian Champion leading the charge. Word among the soldiers was that this was supposed to be a quick jaunt across Necluda as a show of might for the Hylian Army and the resolve of the King to keep every Hylian citizen safe. Only for the Army to discover that the hill was not so much dotted with caves full of Lizalfos as it was infested with them. Like an ant hill of Lizalfos.

Two months now and the Hylian Army had been slogging their way deeper into the caves. With Sir Link leading the charge, of course.

You could actually see the progress being made whenever you came back to deliver the mail. From the first day when the Army had set up camp in a ring around the hill. Three days later they had crawled their way up to the first set of caves, then three days later, the caves above that. Up and up, leaving behind trodden earth and ashes from old campfires. Every delivery you had to run a little further.

All the while, the servants whispered, that the King had forbidden Princess Zelda from observing the operation. Something about needing to continue her prayers. Which made no sense to you. Surely Hylia could hear you anywhere. So what did it matter where the Princess did her praying? Though you weren’t going to fault the King thinking that such a battlefield was no place for a Princess.

Hence, the letters, you supposed. As the Princess’s appointed Knight, you to assume he was keeping her informed on the ongoing operation. What better set of eyes than from a servant she could trust. One close to her age that would be honest with her. Sir Link certainly was not undutiful. Every time you delivered her Highness’s letter, he had a response written for you to deliver before you ever hit the road back to Castle Town.

Of course, the letters would go back and forth regardless of the progress made on the Lizalfo hill. You were no soldier and certainly no commander, but surely it was tiresome to report again and again about the same cave remaining defiant? Yet Sir Link never seemed upset about receiving a letter from the Princess. You could always tell whenever you hand delivered them to him. He was a stoic knight, no doubt. He could be covered in mud, muck, or monster guts and he would greet you as if you were both meeting on the streets of Castle Town. Until he hand the Princess’s letter in his hands though. Then he smiled. A small smile, subtle, but bright. Which was odd in itself. Perhaps the Princess did not simply asked for reports, but kept her Knight informed about… What?

What could the Princess have to talk to her Knight about? The other Champions and their progress on their Divine Beasts? Most likely. The Princess and the Five Champions were destined to save from all from the coming Calamity, it was said. The Calamity that had resulted in all these monsters multiplying across Hyrule faster than they could ever breed normally. But why be so happy to hear about it? The smile on Sir Link’s face, you only saw that kind of smile on the faces of soldiers getting letters from their families.

Or sweethearts.

You blinked, then looked down at the letter, still open and still thirty pages long.

No.

No, it couldn’t be.

The Princess and her Knight?

He was commonborn. She was the Goddess Hylia reborn. Yes, he was the Hero Chosen by the Sword that Seals the Darkness and all that. But they couldn’t be…they wouldn’t…

“Take this to Sir Link, the Hylian Champion.” The young maid servant had instructed you. “You’ll know him when you see him. He is the short, handsome knight with the purple sword hilt.” She had winked at you like you were sharing an inside joke.

You looked up at the horizon to confirm what your ears were already telling you that the rain had not let up.

The maid had hit the nail on the head with her description. Sir Link was indeed handsome. Almost annoyingly so. And a head shorter than you, which you found relieving. But was he handsome enough to catch the Princess’s eye? In spite of his shortness? Or was the Princess into short guys? Yet he was her Knight. A servant. This would be a scandal if it were true. You knew it for fact.

Not two years ago had you been delivering mail in the Akkala region when the rumors broke about the young Lady Akkala, daughter to General Akkala of the Noble House Akkala stationed at Fort Akkala.

The daughter—you didn’t remember her name, but liked to say it was Acacia when passing this story around cook fires—was discovered by her Father the general of having fallen in love with one of his common born knights. The two of them had been sneaking off behind the cannon balls for some fun for a year by then. That was enough to get the young man whipped for his insolence, except once confronted, the knight asked the general for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

If he thought that the Father would be swayed by bold proposal and declarations of love, he was egregiously mistaken. The General had the common born knight flayed to within an inch of his life. To the point that a full inquiry was made on if the General had gone too far in his punishment of an anointed knight who forgot his station. The King himself presided over the investigation. Ultimately he ruled that the knight deserved punishment for this breech of the caste system, but that perhaps the tarring and feathering was too much.

In the end, the Knight was demoted to a remote Garrison in the Hebra Mountains, the daughter was sent off to a Girl’s Academy in the neighboring Kingdom of Hytopia, and the General was put on paid leave to a southern Garrison before returning to his Fort half a year later. All this for a Nobleman’s daughter. For the Princess of Hyrule? You didn’t know the King personally, but you wondered if he wouldn’t scoff at tarring and feathering this time. At least once the Calamity was stopped. Whenever that might be.

You looked back down at the letter clutched in your hands with the seal popped off. You didn’t need to guess about this. You could read the letter that the Princess wrote to her Knight. Not even the whole letter, it was so big you could probably skim the lines and figure out exactly what this was all about. Maybe it was nothing. Just friendly correspondence between two enthusiastic letter writers. But what if it wasn’t? What if you held in your hands a stirring love confession from the Princess? Declaring her Knight to be her sword, her shield, and the very air she breathes? The light and love of her life?

 And then what? Warn him? Tell him all the gruesome details you heard about Sir Groose or Mido? Whatever the Knight’s name was. Sir Link didn’t deserve the same fate. End his scandal now and the boy could go on to live a happy life once this nonsense with the Calamity was done with. You hadn’t seen Sir Link fight, but you heard the stories. How brave he was, how strong and skilled, all the monsters he had slayed. Soldiers around camp fires usually had some snide remarks about their commanding officers, but all of them seemed to have praise for Sir Link with his Master Sword. The young man was fighting to protect the Kingdom, that was good enough for you. He deserved a happy ending after all of this. He did his duty, as we all should.

You looked back up when you noticed it. The rain had finally stopped. The sun was shining through the tree leaves. You looked back down at the letter. You reached into your bag and pulled out a match. One of your emergency supplies for whenever you were caught outdoors at night. You scratched the match on the bowl of the statue and held the letter in your other hand.

Ever so carefully, you held the flame under the flap of the letter, being careful not to let the paper catch fire. The match did its job though and reheated the wax. Once it was on the verge of melting, you closed the letter shut and held it until the wax stuck to the paper. This time for good.

Whatever was written inside this letter was none of your business. You were a Mailman. You delivered the mail. You just prayed to Hylia that the Knight Sir Link would have his just rewards one day for fulfilling his duty.

Chapter Text

No, seriously. Screw Hylians.

Bastard Army Captain telling you where to hunt and when? These were your people's mountains. It was your kin who had been hunting game in the Hebra Mountains for generations before the Hylians ever set up forts in the Tabantha Frontier. Before they ever built their roads and bridges and expected you to be grateful for them.

You kicked your feet through an annoying patch of snow as you trekked further up the mountain. The winds and the snow might keep you from flying, but you took a petty kind of pride in traversing without aid. There were no Hylian roads up here. Just thin trails known only to your flock. Your talons could find purchase even in the deepest snow. It was why the Rito had laid claim to these snowy mountains long before the Hylians ever thought to map them.

You had been hunting in these snowy hills ever since you were a hatchling. As your parents had done. It was your bow that brought in fresh meat for your village during the harsh winters. Not the Hylians and their trade caravans. You knew how much to hunt of deer and boar. It was the Hylians stripping the mountains bare of all the game. Damn King Rhoam and his damn war.

For coming up on ten years now, the King had been aggressively expanding his Army across Hyrule. Setting up garrisons wherever they damn well pleased, demanding tribute, and drafting Rito into his Hylian Army all in the name of preparing for the so called Calamity.

You would have called it an outrageous hoax if you hadn’t seen Vah Medoh being excavated with your very eyes. You might be prejudice, but you weren’t one to ignore facts when they stared at you in the face. It took the Shiekah, Hylians, and Rito six months of digging to free the Divine Beast. Only to have it take to the skies of its own volition like it hadn’t spent a day underground. You remembered that sinking feeling in your gut when you first saw Vah Medoh blot out the sun.

Whatever was coming for Hyrule, it was terrible, if you needed four of those giants just to fight back.

You honked a loogie out of your beak. Din’s balls it was getting cold. If the wind picked up any more you were half convinced that the bark from the trees would crack. And then who knows what it would do to your feathers.

You adjusted the rope over your shoulder and looked back at your kill. A 200 pound boar with a single arrow right in the eye. Little bastard thought he could knock you off the cliffside, but you showed it what’s what.

The sun had set hours ago and any sliver of moonlight overhead was concealed by the snow clouds. The forest was little more than dark shapes on a hill of purple ink. Across the valley you could see the end of the storm by the moonlight illuminated peaks and the millions of stars behind that. Thankfully you recognized where you were by the pattern of pine trees along the trail. Just a hundred yards more and you would be at your flock’s hunting cabin. A sturdy log cabin with a good fireplace and a warm bed. You could warm up, strip your boar down to its useable parts, then wait out the storm.

The cabin appearing over the white horizon was a welcome sight. Your feathers were about to freeze solid. Then you took a better look at your cabin and noticed a few discrepancies. The faint orange glow in the window, the smoke coming from the chimney, and the two horses stabled outside.

Oh.

Oh Hell no.

You did not hike halfway up Hebra Mountain in a blizzard to find your property being taken over by Hylian squatters. Arrogant, smug, pissy little Hylians. Taking whatever they damn well pleased like Hylia herself had gifted them Hyrule. Oh they were gonna get an arrow through the gullet for this. Just you wait. This was your cabin and your meat and you were gonna do what you damn well pleased with both.

A lifetime of hunting kept you quiet as you approached the rest of the way. The boar was left behind a snow bank. If wolves came up behind you and took your game while you were dealing with these robbers, you were going to pitch them off the cliffside.

The horses didn’t seem to care for your arrival. Perhaps they were asleep. Hopefully the robbers were too. You might be mad as Hell, but you weren’t arrogant to your lack of combat skills. Not like your so called Rito Champion.

Revali, that little suck up. Playing the good little Rito for the King. The bastard lost his parents when he was way too young and never managed to take that chip off his shoulder. Still, he knew how to fight. Enough to get himself named Champion by the King. He hadn’t stop swanning about it ever since.

You reached the window and peered in. The light was coming from the embers left over in the hearth. Giving off a faint orange glow to everything in the cabin. Rito had better vision in the dark than Hylians, so you could tell at a glance that no one was standing up in the cabin or sitting down. There were two coats hung up by the fire to dry. Which left only the bed.

You attention turned to the single twin sized bed you had slept in with your wife and found two other heads sticking out over the blankets. One arm wrapped around the frame of another, holding them close.

That made an eyebrow raise.

You were expecting two Hyrulian men. Standing over the fireplace or rifling through your supply of arrows. Not them using your cabin as their little love nests. Come to think of it, you couldn’t tell the sex of these Hylians from this view. By their frames under the bedsheets, you would guess they were female, but then again you had traded meat and furs with more than a few Gerudo who could tower over Gorons and Zora alike.

Male or female didn’t matter, they were trespassers and they were in for a rude awakening.

You crept up to your door and got one last look at the horses they had left out in the stable. One brown with a snow white mane and white socks over its hoofs. The second was all white as the snow with blond hair. It didn’t occur to you at the time to recognize these mounts, as you had seen them before.

You nocked an arrow in your bow and breathed deep. Hunter that you were, you were no killer. If the Hylians were hostile, you would for sure defend yourself, but if they weren’t then this would give them a good scare.

You kicked open your door and stormed into your cabin while shouting, “What are you doing!?”

You nearly lost your head for it.

One of the Hylians sat up so fast you couldn’t tell if they had been waiting for you or had already been swinging their sword before you kicked in the door. Their blade sliced clean through your bow right above your hand and came to a stop right at your throat.

A female Hylian cried in terror at the commotion. They were arguments and thumps on the wood. You couldn’t say what parts you contributed to. All you knew was that a moment later you had been thrown to your knees in front of the hearth with your head bumping against the coat rack and the sword still resting under your beak.

“Stop!” A man spoke, halting the yelling with its sharpness. You also kept your mouth shut. This new person talking, whoever he was, he seemed way too calm in your opinion.

“Princess, please light one of the lamps.” The man requested in a even tone.

Princess?

“Yes,” The female Hylian said and quickly started rifling through your drawers until she found one of your matches and lit your oil lamp. The room was soon illuminated in the yellow glow of the lamp, adding some much needed details to the scene.

Oh.

Oh sweet Hylia.

The woman stood behind the man with your lamp in her hands and you recognized her immediately. You would recognize that long blond hair anywhere. You might be a Hunter more used to the Wilds than to any shrine, castle, or stadium, but even you knew the Princess of Hyrule on sight. Especially since she and her Knight had paid an informal visit to Rito Village not half a year ago. Oh how the rest of your kind had scraped and groveled at the presence of their Hylian masters. The Princess and her Knight.

Your eyes glanced down to the sword at your throat. Now there was no mistaking it. If there was anything more well known to the denizens of Hyrule, it was the hilt of the Master Sword.

In the months following news that the Master Sword that Seals the Darkness was plucked from its hiding hole, the Kingdom found itself awash in paper flyers rejoicing the news of the gallant knight who had pulled the sword and would save them all. Along with detailed illustrations of the Master Sword and its many great feats from legend.

Nowhere in the Kingdom was in want of toilet paper that season.

That joke had gotten you plenty of chuckles around the camp fires, but right now it didn’t seem so funny.

“Who are you?” The Master Sword Wielder asked.

You regained your defiance at his tone. To be interrogated and handled like a squawking hatchling in your own cabin was infuriating. You told him your name. “And this is my cabin.”

“Oh dear. Truly? Sheath your sword, Sir Link.” The Princess pleaded.

“He might still be Yiga in disguise.” The Knight warned.

“He can’t be. The Yiga only disguise themselves as Hylians. Please, Sir Link. I hear the truth in his words.”

The Hylian Knight frowned, but obeyed. In a smooth, careful motion he returned the Master Sword to its decorated sheath. As easily as you would unstring your bow. You breathed easier without that cold steel against your neck. He hadn’t so much as nicked your feathers, but you knew a good sharp blade when you felt one, and that Master Sword could shave the hairs off a spider's ass.

Your gaze turned to the Princess. Seemed the rumors were true about her being brainy. She had some sense to her at least, not to mistake you for those thieves and thugs in red leotards. She looked at you with such pity though.

“Good sir, please accept our apology. It was not our intention to violate your cabin, but my Knight and I had been caught out in the storm and we needed shelter.” The Princess recited as if her explanation were rehearsed.

“Save your Sirs, Princess. I am no Sir, I work for a living. Call me Hunter if you must.” You scoffed. The Princess frowned, looking hurt, but you didn’t care. Goddess blood or no, she was a faraway monarch sleeping in your bed.

“Very well, Hunter.” The Princess amended, sounding disappointed. “If you’ll permit us your hospitality until the storm passes, we shall leave when it is safe to travel. And compensate you for the firewood we used.”

“Permit you, huh?” You scoffed again. “And what if I tell you both to head out into the snow right now? You’d do it? Or will you get your Knight here to make me?”

The Knight in question stepped forward threateningly with his hand on his sword hilt. The Princess grabbed him by the arm though. He turned to her and she shook her head. He stepped back like a well trained pup.

You probably weren’t doing yourself any favors responding as you were, but you weren’t going to be whipped like a dog and told to accept it either. You wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance on Death Mountain if it came to blows though. Not if a quarter of the stories you heard about the Princess’s Knight were true. Especially without your family bow. No, your best bet would be to take your chances in the skies and figure that the Princess would never recognize one Rito from another.

“Is this how you treat all guests lost in a snow storm?” The Princess asked. “I must say I received a warmer welcome from the Rito when I visited your village.”

“Yes, well we aren’t all birds of a feather.” You said. “Most guests don’t barge in to our homes, sleep in our beds, and shatter our livelihoods.” You said, holding your remaining half of your bow.

“As the Princess said, we were trying to get out of the storm.” The Knight spoke up. “It looked as if no one had been here for months. Then you barge in with an arrow drawn and pointed at the Princess of Hyrule.” His words were as cold as his steel. “As her Knight, I would have been well within my rights to cut you down. I still do, if I think you mean the Princess harm.”

He had the right of it, you knew that. Hyrule law placed a difference on killings between common folk like yourself and knights killing their lessers, especially in defense of their betters. No matter how unjust you called it, that wouldn’t save you. Not way out here.

“This antagonization is fruitless.” The Princess declared. “Sir Link, give the Hunter your bow.”

“Princess?” The Knight asked.

“You heard me. Give the man your bow. Your best bow. You have extra and we have provisions enough to reach the nearest Stable.”

The Knight continued to frown in the lamp light. Clearly he was not a fan of arming antagonistic Rito, but he was a dutiful dog to the Royal Highness. He pulled out a bow from behind his back and you needed to blink. He pulled it out like a magician doing a trick, pulling the bow out from where it couldn’t possibly have hidden behind. Then your tired mind caught back up to the world and you guessed he must have a Korok blessed bag. A very rare item and only given out to the pure of heart. You lost your bag decades ago when you last saw a Korok. Funny little things, those Koroks.

You looked down at the bow and went wide eyed. That was a Royal Guard Bow. The highest quality bow to be found in Hyrule. The best stopping power of any bow, save for the kind made by Lynels, and the Lynel bow needed its multiple arrows to have the same killing potential. You took the bow in your wings and felt the quality. From the treated string to the wooden handle and black steel finish. This was a bow master crafted with the finest materials to be found in the Kingdom. Though you did prefer your Rito bows with their emphasis on quickdraw.

Experimentally you pulled back on the string and found it had comparable give to your old Falcon Bow.

“It was modified.” The Knight spoke, as if reading your mind. “With faster draw in mind. I find it is better suited for hunting.”

“Yes.” You agreed before you could stop yourself. Seemed that the Chosen Knight had some sense to him after all. Most brutes would want the bow string as taught as possible until the arrow slipped right through their target. Then you’d lose the arrow in the woods if you managed to land your shot at all. More likely your prey would bolt while you were still pulling back the string.

“I take it the bow is acceptable?” The Princess asked, with only the barest hint of a bite in her words.

“Yes.” You repeated, the dawning fact that you were now the owner of a Royal Guard Bow cooled your anger. “Yes, this is acceptable. Thank you.”

“Very good.” The Princess sighed in relied. “If you take that as adequate compensation, we shall stay here until morning, then depart.” The Princess decided. “We shall not put you out of your own bed, either.”

“Princess.” The Knight made to protest, but was silenced with a raised hand from his charge.

“There are sheets enough. We can sleep on the floor.” The Princess declared.

“Fine by me.” You decided, figuring this was as good as the arrangements were going to get. Then a thought occurred to you. A line of thinking that had been put off since this whole conversation began.

“What were you even doing in my bed?”

That’s when you noticed what the Princess was wearing. Or rather, what she wasn’t wearing.

Wrapped around the Princess’s chest and running down to the floor were your bedsheets. The girl was holding your lamp in one hand and the sheets in another. The boy on the other hand was shirtless with snowquill pants on. You looked from one to the other as they looked briefly at each other. Winds blew against the windows. The hearth cracked and popped.

Oh this was too good. The Princess and her Knight? The high and mighty Hyrule Royal Line brought down to the level of normal people? After all their speeches, pomp, and ceremonies decrying her as the Goddess reborn? And here she was getting run down in some backwoods cabin by her dog? Oh what would the high and mighty King think?

“The Princess fell through some ice.” The Knight jumped in to explain. “Her clothes were soaked through. She was endanger of hypothermia. So I had to do whatever I could to warm her up.”

“Fell through ice?” You repeated. At this temperature? At this elevation? And he found your cabin before he thought to build a fire in a cave? Oh it was a good lie. Plausible, even. If you didn’t know these mountains back to front. Which those stuffed shirts at the Royal Court certainly wouldn’t. Even then, they couldn’t get away from the common knowledge of using feather to feather contact to stave off hypothermia. That’ll get a few Lords hot under the collar.

“Yes, of course.” You say, eyeing the Princess as she pointedly avoided your gaze. “The waters here can be so treturous. Very good thinking, bringing the Princess here, Sir Link.”

The Knight frowned at you, seeing right through your lie, though you both knew that he needed this lie to keep his head. Hylians always put such a high value on the purity of their noble ladies.

“Where are my manners? You two freezing out in the cold and I not being a gracious host? Forgive me.” You say, playing up your courtesies. “This storm has really ruffled my feathers. Please, take the bed. Both of you. I cannot have the Princess of Hyrule and her Knight sleep on my floor. Whatever would my wife say if she heard?”

“It is no trouble.” The Knight said through gritted teeth. You wondered if the Princess liked his gritted teeth.

“No, please. I insist.” You say, already shedding your satchel and quiver to rest them against the table. You went on a lengthy explanation of how you had planned not to use the bed to make an early start the next morning, but it was a lie. A plausible lie, which appeared to be all the fashion this evening.

“You two must be more exhausted than I after such a journey. Hylians are not as accustomed to the cold as we Rito. Whatever could have brought you so high in the mountains in the first place?” You were poking the bear now, but it was your revenge for a lifetime of uppity Hylians sticking their noses in where they didn’t belong.

“That is most gracious of you, Hunter.” The Princess said flatly. A hint of loathing escaping her lips. Good, you all knew where they were.

The Princess retreated to the bed, being sure not to turn her back to you. While the Knight kept himself standing between you and the Princess. Neither needed to bother. You always preferred feathers over fur anyways. The Princess slipped into the bed while the Knight sat down against the wall next to the door. Perhaps the Princess had been warmed up enough, you thought. He watched you make yourself a bed on the floor out of thick comforters and a spare pillow. Once you were done, the Princess snuffs the lamp, returning the cabin back to the dim light of the hearth.

You drifted off to sleep, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to you. So much so that you didn’t register the Princess reaching out her hand and her Knight clasping his two fingers around hers. Letting them relax enough to let dreams take them again.

Dawn broke the next morning, taking away the night and the storm with it. Your guests awoke and were dressed before you arose. You nearly shouted at them before you remembered what transpired the night before.

True to their word, the two Hylians were out the door and saddling their horses before the sun had finished climbing over the mountains. The Princess and her Knight departed, not returning your wave as you bid them well.

You were not surprised. The Princess was too tender hearted to order her Knight to try and kill you. Not when you could fly away and warn the Kingdom of their attempted murder. Now all they had was to worry how fast you would spread rumors of their little romp in the woods.

But you knew better than that. You had your nugget of satisfaction. The private knowledge of the Princess’s sin. That was enough. You were too good a hunter to know when you couldn’t bring down a bear, best to stop firing arrows at it. Less it catches you in its rage.

You swaggered off with your new bow in hand, back behind the snowbank, and squawked in fury. “My boar!” You cried. It was gone, with only wolf tracks and blood left in its wake.

Chapter Text

“Hey, that girl there. She could pass for the Princess, couldn’t she?” One of your band mates commented.

You looked up from your violin that you had been tuning, to the direction that Ralph was gesturing towards. His finger was pointing towards the seated crowd, which didn’t help matters, but you spotted who he was referring to right away. A plain clothed girl with long hair so blond you could swear it was weaved with gold.

Now, Lon Lon Tavern was not the most prestigious dance hall you had ever played for. Nor was it meant to be. You knew the owner from childhood. Not content with being a Ranch Owner like his Father, he took his half of the inheritance in rupees and bought this old inn located in the lower end of Castle Town. Spruced it up and invited/begged your band to come play once every month or so to drum up business. And so far as you could tell, it had worked. Lon Lon Tavern was the new happenin’ place for common-borns looking for a livelier night out. Thus it attracted a certain clientele, So it was surprising that a beauty equal to Princess’s was standing there in the crowd like a lost puppy. A girl that breathtaking needed to travel with a boyfriend or in pairs.

“Yeah, she does.” Michael on the piano agreed as he sipped his beer.

You were about to suggest inviting her up to the stage for her own protection. Maybe put it under the guise of asking her for a request and then privately for her mailing address. When your vision quit tunneling and her boyfriend handed her a drink from one of the waitresses. He was a few inches shorter than the girl with dirty blond hair and a pretty face. You could almost mistake him for her brother, but the smile the young woman gave her companion left no doubt in your mind. Even across the bar, you could tell she only had eyes for him.

One of your other band mates groaned and you along with him. Just as well, you told yourself. You were a traveling musician and that beauty right there, that was a girl you settled down with.

Your friend, the owner, whistled at you. You looked over and he pointed up at his clock. Break time was over. You gave the thumbs up as your crew finished off their drinks. You took your own glass and downed your Hard Milk. Then you gave a shudder. Say what you will about Lon Lon Tavern, they mixed’em strong here.

Ralph started stomping his foot and you caught on to the beat. You started off with the tune. Soon half the patrons were stomping along to the beat. Not surprising, this was a popular tune for travelers and barflies all across the Kingdom. Especially at the Stables. It never failed to get the crowd clapping along.

“Hey! Ho! To the bottle I go!” Ralph sang, louder than the rest of the drunks who knew the lyrics by heart. “To heal my heart and drown my woo! Rain may fall! And wind may blow! But there’ll still beeee—” Clap clap clap “Many miles to go!”

What customers weren’t raising their mugs in a toast, grabbed their sweethearts and hit the dance floor. Hands and hips were grasped and the people started swishing and twirling to the song. Including the blond beauty and her short boyfriend. She dragged him by the arm, with him only hesitating long enough to find a table to hold their drinks. Even among the swirling crowd moving like the raging sea you could spot the girl’s hair streaking like a comet in the night.

She took her boyfriend’s hand as he took her hip and she took his shoulder. It might have looked comical with their height difference if she wasn’t smiling down at him like her Prince Charming was about to sweep her off her feet.

They caught on to the beat and oh man were they terrible dancers. They could waltz just fine, but they were a step behind everyone. You would think this was their first time dancing in a bar. You hadn’t seen dancing this still since the last Royal Ball. Still, this was the kind of song that you put on when everyone was already three drinks in that night. So the two of them were in good company as an older couple tumbled past their feet.

They didn’t mind. They twirled around in their own little world. The woman laughing while the man smiled at her, like she was the only thing in the world worth looking at.

As you kept up the song through the next chorus, you couldn’t help but notice the boyfriend had a sword strapped to his back. The sword was wrapped in cloth, but it couldn’t be anything but a sword. The wrappings made it legal for citizens to carry around their swords and spears on the streets of Castle Town, but who would dance with a sword on their back? A paranoid man, that’s who. Lower end it may be, but this was still Castle Town. The only place safer to be would be Gerudo Town and only if you were a woman.

Well in-spite of their dancing skills, the man kept his scabbard from hitting any of the other dancers. It seemed he was familiar with a blade at least. The girl just laughed though. She laughed with a smile as bright as her hair. All the twirling and lunging she found to be exhilarating. Which her boyfriend looked all to happy to exacerbate if it meant seeing and hearing her be so happy.

They kept dancing all throughout the next three songs. Stopping only when your band toned things down. Giving everyone a chance to breathe and buy themselves another round. The blond girl floated back to their table and her boyfriend went off to get them both drinks. He certainly had a spring in his step as well.

The next tune in the set had no use for violins, so you ordered yourself a smoothie to get yourself through to the next break. By the time the boyfriend returned to his table, the waitress had come with your drink. A banana smoothie. The waitress left, her tray full of more yellow drinks, and you sipped your glass. Offering a toast to the happy couple. Taking solice in the knowledge that at least two Hylians were going home lucky tonight.

You picked up your violin again for the next song. A slow dance song for all the couples in the crowd. There seemed to be more than just the duo you had been trying not to stalk. It was a softer melody, another well known tune about love being in the air tonight. The world for once in perfect harmony. The blond girl and the boy had already hit the dance floor. They seemed nervous though about getting as close as the other couples. Their fingers intertwined, but their chests wouldn’t yet touch. Were they a new couple perhaps? Or was there something else going on? Some gap between them besides the physical?

You turned to your band and nodded at the couple of the hour. They each nodded in their own time and your singer winked. Without skipping a beat, they repeated one of the choruses to give the two a little more time with this song. They were inching ever closer. The boy and the girl. Their eyes filled with candlelight, with no one in sight but each other. The song slowed down like the sigh of a lover. Their lips hung in the air, the briefest of space between them. You saw the girl close her eyes, her head tilting, and the flash of the dagger behind her.

“For Ganon!”

You lost the beat. All at once, the world slid out of place, everything lurched. A heavy, collective step echoed off the walls as the whole of the dance floor noticed something was odd the world kept spinning. You looked straight at it, but only your ears could understand what was happening. The unsheathing of a sword so clean it sounded like the hum of water. The young man twirled in place, one blink and he went from in front of his date to standing back to back with her. His sword drawn and collided with the dagger you had only glimpsed. The boy pressed forward, a larger man stepped back. Another clang rang over piano and the horns, then another, and another. Your classically trained mind, desperate to restore order to your world, noted how the clashes of metal on metal timed perfectly in 4s. Only on the last beat did the boy swing upward with his sword and his attacker’s arm went flying.

Only with the scream of a woman did the world right itself back into place. Blood flew through the air as your music tumbled to a halt. The crowd scattered, exposing the attacker to your sight. The tall man had fallen to his knees, clutching his elbow, something dark pooled at his knees. The girl cupped her hands over her mouth as the boy reached behind himself to find her, his sword still raised, glowing white even among the orange light of all the tavern’s candles. Your eyes darted all over the crowd, everything moving all at once with your brain trying to find something stead to focus on. From the tears welling under the girl’s eyes, to the purple winged hilt of the boy’s pristine sword, to the man standing with his back to you and another dagger hidden behind the man’s thigh.

The couple moved towards you, back first. The boyfriend kept scanning the crowd. The man with the dagger leaned towards them. You didn’t know why you did what you did, only that it was as natural to you as playing the violin. You swung your instrument right for the man’s head, stiking him dead on his ear. Your piece shattered like glass and the would be attacker collapsed on the spot. The boy and the girl turned as one to see you standing over them both. The boy held his familiar looking sword and you held the neck of your lively hood. Their eyes met yours. The brightest greens and blues you had ever seen. As if hand picked by Hylia herself in order to hold your gaze.

They said no words, but you could tell they wished to give thanks with their expressions alone. You hoped your face replied that they were welcome.

The boy yanked on the girls arm and the two of them ran for the nearest exit. The sword returned to its sheath and they vanished into the confused crowd.

By the time the Guards finally arrived, most of the patrons had already cleared out. There wasn’t much for them to do besides clad the two thugs in iron chains and interview anyone who was left in the tavern.

Your bandmates all crowded around the bar. Nursing stiff drinks to give themselves something else to focus on. Same for the bartender who looked in bad need of a stiff drink himself. Evidently it wasn’t every evening that hands went flying at Lon Lon Tavern.

You sat on the stage, holding a rag wrapped over ice. When you hit the man with your violin, your neck splintered and cut into your hand. Not deeply, you would be playing again before your next job. If you could find a replacement instrument in time. You lamented that you could ever be so stupid. That lowly violin had been with you all across Hyrule; from the Bazaars of the Gerudo Desert to the the Halls of the Zora Palace. Thrice it had even brought you inside the Ballrooms of Hyrule Castle to play in front of Princess Zelda and the rest of the Hylian Nobles.

It was not the Day of the Calamity’s Return. You had your savings. Enough for a replacement and all the room and board you would need. But that was your violin. As near and dear as a friend.

Ralph tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention and point at the approaching Guard Captain. Apparently he had finished talking with the Owner and now wanted to speak with you.

“So you are the one who knocked the other man out cold?” The Captain spoke, without bothering to greet you.

“Yes.” You said, hoping you weren’t falling into a trap. Your savings might not survive paying bond.

“What made you decide to attack him? In all that confusion?”

“I don’t know.” You admitted. “He… He had a knife and it looked like he was going to attack the young man with the sword.”

“The White Sword?” The Captain pressed.

“Yes, and a purple hilt.” You said, recalling the memory.

“A purple hilt?” The Captain repeated, sounding very suspicious and you feared you had made a mistake.

“I… I think so…”

The Captain frowned, seeming to not like your answer any more than you did. “Well it was a good instinct on your part.” The Captain stepped aside to give you a better look at the two men, one of which was having his arm bandaged up on the spot. “Those two are Yiga Clansmen. Outlaws. Traitors to Crown and Country. I’d have them slain on the spot if it wasn’t policy to have them questioned.” The Captain spat on the floor. You looked at the loogie now resting on the dirt dance floor. “That was a brave thing you did, Son. You ought to hold your head up high.” You weren’t sure you agreed.

“Why would the Yiga try to kill those two?” You asked.

“That’s what I intend to find out.” The Captain said. “But know this, whatever their reasonings, the Kingdom is better off after you intervened.”

You didn’t argue with that. You weren’t sure you could. You were a humble musician, the closest you ever got to fighting were the battle songs of the Hylian Army, but even you knew about the Yiga Clan and their crimes against the Kingdom. Sitting on that stage though, you were certain you chose correctly when you picked the violin over the sword or spear.

“That should be all. Take care of yourself.” The Captain said, giving you a tip of his helmet and returning to his men guarding the prisoners. Once out of earshot, Ralph slipped back into your side.

“You doing alright?” Ralph asked carefully, like you might break if he spoke up too loudly.

“Yeah… I guess…” You said.

“Hey… We should all be so lucky to act that quickly. You saved that guy’s life. Maybe the girl’s. Don’t feel down about it.”

“I don’t, its just…” You gave your scratched palm a few squeezes. “I really perfer playing music.”

Ralph snorted, determined to try and play this all off as a joke as if that would put things back to normal. “So why did they attack those two, do you think?” He pressed. “Lovers scorned?”

Now it was your turn to snort. “No. The Yiga don’t kill for petty reasons like that. They go after the Royal Family.”

“Yeah.” Ralph said. “And they went after the girl who looked like the Princess…”

“They did.” You agreed, feeling like you were being interrogated again.

“But the Princess wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like this. Not without her Guards surrounding her.”

“Or her Knight.” You said before you could stop yourself. “The one with the Sword.”

“My point exactly.” Ralph said as the pieces started tumbling down hill together.

“But they can’t be. Not the way those two were dancing. That wasn’t how a Princess dances with her personal Knight.”

You looked at Ralph and he looked at you. And the both of you left unsaid what you were both thinking. Maybe that was how the Princess danced with her Knight.

Of course Ralph, ever the vocalist, had to say something in the end. “I wonder if we could play at their wedding.”

Chapter Text

It wasn’t easy being the Innkeeper at the Kara Kara Bazaar. If there was an edge of the world in the Kingdom of Hyrule, your Inn was the 2nd to last stop before it. Situated smack dab in the middle between Gerudo Town and the canyons of Hyrule, yours was the last stop before reaching Gerudo Town. Meaning you got every Hylian, Zora, and Rito making their way to the all female town. Which meant for every honest Vai trader looking to sample the latest in Gerudo fashion, you got three lonely Voe looking to score a girlfriend. Who just so happened to fly under the gaze of your fellow Gerudo already out wandering Hyrule looking for a boyfriend. Funny how the two groups never seemed to meet.

You took a long inhale from your pipe, tasting the smoke and then exhaling in a satisfying cloud through your nostrils. You swore you would never take up smoking like your grandmother, but when ownership of your family’s inn passed to you, the responsibilities and the stress came with it. Now you needed a few puffs of Tabantha Grass just to make it through the weekend. Today especially. There had been another gaggle of lonely Voe passing though. Asking for sightings of a blond Vai. You had told them to try their luck in Castle Town as Gerudo were all red heads to a Vai. They left with more dignity than most though. They didn’t whine or try to recite poetry at you, but the leer they gave you was enough to give you the creeps. Better for you that the Voe turn around now rather than come back to your Inn after being turned away by the Town Guards.

You took another puff and stared forlornly at the door to your Inn. What you really hoped for was some Vai Trader to come through the door. They usually brought more than meats or gemstones. They brought stories with them. The latest Hyrulian gossip. Say what you want about the Nobles, but they could always be trusted to stir up some drama amongst their class. This Lord having an affair with that Lady from a rival house. Husbands getting too handsy with the maids while their sons got too handsy with the stableboys. The Zora Nobles weren’t paragons of virtue either. Not after feathers were discovered in the water bed of Lady Rutela after an up and coming Rito Singer flew off. And who could forget about Lady Akkala?

You sighed. Wishing for something interesting to happen wouldn’t make it happen. You thought about how you should get a jump on cleaning your rooms before the next patron walked through your door when you heard a twin pair of footsteps hurried making their way up the steps. You put your pipe down and were just waving the smoke away when in burst the last two customers you would ever dare to dream enter your humble establishment. A Vai and a Voe, holding hands, both in sky blue tunics, both with blond hair, though the Voe was dirty blond. His tunic was embroidered with white trim in the style of a sword while the Vai had a more refined tunic like a noble lady. Her hair was braided, his was wrapped in short pony tail. He had a purple hilted sword strapped to his back and sweet Seven Heroines it was the Princess and the Hero. In your Inn. And you didn’t sweep the floors.

You coughed on the last bit of your smoke still hanging in the air, but managed to bow. “Your Majesty!” You exclaimed, thinking you might die.

“No need for that.” A Voe spoke and it took you a moment to register that it was the Hero who spoke it. You looked up to see Sir Link approaching your desk without breaking his stride. It only now occurred to you how serious he looked. This and the sound of his voice threw in the face everything you knew about the Wielder of the Master Sword. No end of gossip called him the strong and silent type. Never saying a word, just standing behind the Princess as her protector or dispatching monsters with masterful ease. All with pools of blue eyes you could swim in. Or so one blushing young Hylian put it. His eyes were certainly blue, and if you had seen their color out in the desert you would certainly want to jump in for a swim, but there was a fury in his eyes just as their was a command in his tone that let you know he was in no mood for a friendly chat.

Sir Link reached into his bag, never unlatching his fingers around the hand of the Princess, and placed a purple rupee on your desk with a clack. “We need one room for the night. Two beds—“ He then reached into his bag and stacked another purple rupee on top of the first. “—and your discretion.”

A hundred rupees? Well that would get you two silk beds no problem. You began to explain this and as soon as you got halfway through, Sir Link pulled out a third purple rupee. No doubt he didn’t think your silence had been bought yet.

“There is no need for that.” You said as politely as you could. And there wasn’t. Not right away anyway. The story of having the Princess of Hyrule herself having once stayed at your Inn along with her Knight would drum up no end of Royalist visitors. “I will gladly say nothing if that is your wish.” You looked from Sir Link to the Princess, who had been quiet and looking at the floor this whole time. “I’m just afraid that a room is not ready, but I can have it freshened up within the hour.”

“We’ll take the room now.” Sir Link insisted, placing a 4th and final purple rupee on your desk. All you could do was place the room key on the desk in response.

Sir Link took the key and nodded in thanks. He then led the way up the stairs to their room with your quick directions. The Princess briefly caught your eye and just as quickly turned away. She reminded you of your friend from back when you were children. Right after you both had been caught playing on the cliffs and she was about to get a scolding when her Mother brought her home.

As soon as they were both upstairs, you hurriedly swept your floors and dusted over the lounge area. Typical, the one day of the week you were without any of your assistants. You could kick yourself. But what in Hylia’s name would bring the Princess and her Knight to stop at your inn of all places? For sure, the Princess had ventured into Gerudo Town before to meet with Chief Urbosa, but her entourage had not stopped at the Oasis before. They headed straight for Gerudo Town.

You let yourself have one last puff from the pipe to force yourself to calm down. Everything was good. You’d just been paid twice your usual rate and if the Princess left satisfied she might insist they come back on their way from Gerudo Town. Which meant you might be able to afford your vacation to Lurelin after all. Meet a Voe with blue eyes of your own and have him take you out on the romantic thing people called a boat.

Once you were calmed down you were hit with inspiration. You ran into the kitchen and assembled a charcuterie board of fruits, nuts, shaved ice, and assorted meat cuts. Not exactly a full meal, but the Princess and her Knight looked exhausted. More so than the usual traveling Hylians who came your way. A kind gesture on the house.

You climbed the stairs, careful to balance your plate on your hip and reached your largest room at the far end of the hallway. You raised up your knuckles to knock on the blue painted door, when a muffled voice made you hesitate. You couldn’t make out the words, but it was a Vai’s voice. Most likely the Princess’s. She sounded… pained? Embarrassed?

A knock on the floor made you jump. It came from inside the room, it sounded like an axe embedding in wood. Or like a sword piercing the floor. Whatever it was, it silenced the Princess.

Your nerves were shot. You had to listen in. Leaving the charcuterie board balanced on your hip, you leaned in with your ear and heard the Hero talking.

“For the record, Princess, I never asked to be your Knight.”

At that moment, you could swear you heard a pin dropping in your neighbor’s silk shop.

“I never asked to be the Hero who drew the Master Sword either. Come to think of it, I never asked to be a Knight in the first place.”

“You what?” The Princess gasped. “But the Sword? You drew it. How else could you have it?”

“I found it in the Lost Woods. I wasn’t looking for it, I just went out exploring. I wanted to get away from my Father for a bit. I certainly didn’t know what it was when I found it. All I knew was I had some overwhelming urge to pull it. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a choice.”

Well that was not in the brochures that the King had sent out like napkins. You thought.

“I… I never knew that…” Princess Zelda said delicately.

“You’re the first.” Sir Link responded, sounding far ruder than any man should ever be to the Princess of Hyrule. “But yeah, it’s the same as when I first began my training. I was good at playing swords as a kid, so before I knew what was what, my Father had signed me up for Squire Training. Nobody ever asked me if I wanted to become a Knight. By the time I was old enough to know what all the training was for, it was expected of me.”

“All that to say to you that I get it. I get growing up having your whole life decided for you and then learning that your destiny is decided for you too. I might be the only one in the whole Kingdom who does get it.”

“Sir Link…I…” Princess Zelda said, sounding faint.

“But you need to stop running away from me, Princess!” Link snapped, you and the Princess jumped.

“It is my job to protect you, Princess. Which means I cannot leave you alone, I can’t stop following you, no matter how unpleasant you find it. Otherwise, today might happen again and we might not be so lucky. That Yiga blade was an inch from your head. Another half second and I could never forgive myself. And that would be the least of our worries.”

You gulped.

“I do not know what I have done to deserve your ire. Have I spoken out of turn? I only recall speaking up whenever I insist that we take a safer path. Please tell me what I have done so that I may correct it, because this cannot stand.”

“You are not at fault!” Zelda cried, shocking you to your core. The Princess of the whole Kingdom, sounding so desperate and ashamed.

“You are not at fault. That fault is all mine. I am a failure and I have taken it out on you. That’s all. You have been the perfect Knight and Hero. You have just been dragged down by a worthless Princess.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I am though. I am a failure. Just as Father says, just as the gossip mongers say. I will lead this Kingdom to ruin when the Calamity comes and I have failed to unlock my powers. I will let everyone down.” Zelda sobbed.

“You haven’t let anyone down.” Sir Link insisted. “No one, you hear me? The Calamity has not come yet, Princess.”

Princess Zelda hiccuped, you held your hand to your heart. You loved your gossip as much as anyone, but this was more that private. You almost felt ashamed, but kept listening anyway.

“You forget. The Prophecy says we are in this together. You and me.” Link said. “I’ve got the sword. Everything else is just set dressing. The Divine Beasts, the Armies? They are all to buy us time to kill the Calamity and we will kill the Calamity together.”

“But I don’t have my powers, Link. I can’t unlock them. No matter how hard I try.”

“You will unlock them.” Link insisted. “I believe in you, Princess.”

“Why?” Zelda snapped. “Why do you believe in me? What proof do you have to think I will ever unlock this Goddess Damned Sealing Magic?”

“Because I have seen you pray.” Link explained. “I’ve seen you studying. Always trying to figure out something to help the Kingdom. If the Goddess Hylia doesn’t think that kind of devotion is worth her blessing? Well then we’ll find a better Goddess and get her to bless you instead. And save the Kingdom that way.”

There was a rustling sound and some quick footsteps. Then silence. You had your hand over your mouth to silence your own breaths, but still you couldn’t hear what that noise was.

There was a faint smack. Or maybe more of a pop and all three of you took a collective breath.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” Zelda said, sounding terrified.

“Its okay.” Link said automatically.

“No, it is not okay.”

“We both got a bit over excited.”

“We? I—

“We don’t have to say it ever happened. We’re tired and we’re safe here.”

“Link, I…”

“Its okay, Princess.” Link said gently. You could just tell from his tone that he had a kind smile on his lips. “Get some rest and I will get us both food.”

“Link…” Zelda said, practically begging.

You wanted to push your ear through the wood door, only to hear footsteps approaching the door. You jolted back like the wood was on fire. The charcuterie board jumped, but you swung it around so that nothing spilled. Quiet as a cat you ran down the hallway on the tips of your toes, not daring to make a sound. Only when you reached the foot of the stairs did you hear the door creek open and you swung back around. You headed back towards the room walking at a completely normal pace to match your completely normal rate of breathing. If only your heart could get with the program. Sir Link stepped into the hallway and you acted astonished to see him.

“Oh. I thought the Princess and yourself might be hungry.” You explained, hoping that the Knight could not hear the ting of panic you heard in your own voice.

“That is very kind of you.” Sir Link said, reaching into his pocket, but you beat him to it by shoving the tray under his nose.

“On the house. Please.” You insist. You couldn’t stand taking another one of his rupees. Not after what you had just overheard. Possibly the zestiest gossip in living memory. If what you think happened happened. If the Princess really just did what you thought you heard. You casually glanced down at Sir Link’s lips, but saw no smudges of color. Then you remembered and cursed that the Princess did not wear lipstick. Hylia damn it.

Finally, the Knight relented and took the tray. “Thank you.” He said with a smile as refreshing as a swim in his eyes. Oh that lucky Princess. “Could you bring up some fresh sheets? I prefer to clean the room myself.”

You blushed at this odd request, but if the Hylian Champion wanted to change the sheets after paying you double, you would swallow your pride and let him.

You bowed gracefully and went to fetch fresh sheets. Once you returned to the room where you caught a glimpse of the Princess sitting on one of the beds and carefully eating some salted pork slices. She was very pointedly looking anywhere but at her Knight, but you could swear there was a pink tinge on the tip of her ears.

You returned to your desk and tried your very best not to bunny hop around. The Princess and her Knight? A young maiden and her protector? It was the stuff that fantasy books were made of. And the way Sir Link defied his station to give the Princess of all of Hyrule a scolding? You held your cheeks so that your face wouldn’t burst. Oh when your friends heard about this-

The door of your inn opened again and you snapped to attention in front of your desk so as to maintain the aura of a disinterested innkeeper who wasn’t to be messed with. Just in time too, as three burly Hylian Voe came in. By their posture you could tell these weren’t your typical farm hands. They stood straighter, like soldiers but without the armor. Or Shiekah Warriors.

“Excuse me.” The Voe standing in the middle spoke up with a fake smile. “I heard from others that Sir Link the Hylian Champion just entered this Inn.”

You had lived in the desert for far too long to not hear a snake when it was speaking. “What’s it to you?”

“Well my friends and I are great admirers of his swordsmanship. We don’t wish to be a bother, but we would love his autograph.”

That and five rupees would get you a roasted chicken sandwich at Castle Town. You thought to yourself. “You just missed him, I’m afraid.” You said with indifference. “He headed out the back towards Gerudo Town. I think I even heard a Sand Seal barking, so he would be over the horizon by now.”

“Did he say when he was coming back from Gerudo Town?” The Voe pressed.

“I didn’t ask.”

“Then may we have a room then?” The Voe asked. “It has been a long journey.”

“We are full up.” You said without hesitation.

“Are you sure?” The Voe asked and before you could reply, he took out a rupee and placed it on the desk. Now you hesitated, as the rupee was one you had never seen before in your Inn. It wasn’t every day that one saw a gold rupee in person.

Damn your royalist sympathies.

“More rupees won’t vacate those rooms. You’ll have to go elsewhere, Voe.”

The trio frowned at you and you tapped your nails on the desk. Underneath which you kept your dagger. Thankfully, the leading Voe bowed and thanked you for your time. The three of them left and you breathed a sigh of relief.

You decided, after your guests left and were warned, you would take that vacation after all.

Chapter Text

“We cannot lose him. Do you understand me?” The King asks you, standing over you like Death Mountain itself.

You gulp, holding your book to your white robes. You have never seen this look on the King's face before. You could practically see the string behind his eyes. That sliver of thread holding it all together. If it were any other patient, you would be trying to let their loved ones down gently with promises of you doing your best or reminding them that they had a rough road ahead of them. Medical science had come a long way from leeches and potions. Now you had proven treatments such as fairies and magic, but even they couldn’t work miracles.

Still, you understood where the King was coming from. If the Hero Chosen by the Master Sword died before the Calamity even appeared, it would be a disaster.

It happened out of nowhere. The Princess and her Knight were inspecting the research being done by one of those Guardians. The mechanical Octorocks that the Shiekah kept finding buried underground. Supposedly they were soldiers in the automated army that the Ancient Shiekah had built to aid in the fight against the Calamity 10,000 years ago. Everyone hailed them as proof of the Kingdom’s inevitable success in this foretold catastrophe, but you very privately disagreed. Something about the Guardians never sat right with you. Their shapes, the way they moved with their legs. They gave you the heebee geebees. Not the Princess though, she lead the Shiekah in thinking they were fascinating. Which was why it was an open secret that she tried to study them every chance she got. Even going so far as to manufacture pilgrimages to nearby shrines just to be near the research labs that dotted the countryside.

Anyway, the rumor was that the Princess went to get a closer look at one of the Guardians, only for it to malfunction and try to attack her.

Her Knight, Sir Link of Hateno, ever the dutiful and brave young man, whisked her to safety immediately, but the Guardian kept up its rampage. Sir Link then fought the Guardian all by himself before it could hurt anyone else, but not without personal cost.

A more cynical man might have taken what transpired as validation, but you were a doctor. One example did not equate definitive proof.

When word arrived that the Princess was returning to Hyrule Castle with the Hero of Hyrule laid out half-dead on a hay cart, you the Royal Doctor were summoned. It was not a good sight.

His torso looked like he had taken a bomb arrow to the chest. Burns all up and down his chest, caved in ribs, internal bleeding, and that wasn’t even getting into his head.

You did what you could. The simple fact being that the Castle was out of fairies. The latest campaign against the Lizalfos had depleted their stockpile. Scouts were immediately sent out to find new fairies while Rito messengers were sent to Zora’s Domain to request Princess Mipha’s aid at once. Until then, you had to rely on old school medicine to keep the Hero of Hyrule alive.

It was touch and go for awhile in the operating theater. All the while the Princess observing your progress from the glass booth overlooking the table. Usually the booth was reserved for fellow medical scholars, but no one had dared to argue that the Royal Family could not use it. For 8 hours you kept your focus on the surgery, only glancing up when you needed to stretch your neck or have your brow swabbed of sweat. Yet every time you did, the Princess was still watching over you. In hindsight, you found that peculiar. It was late when Sir Link was brought in. Surely the maids would have begged the Princess to sleep after such a harrowing day. At the very least to take a bath. They had riden from the Tech Labs at great haste. More to the point, when you first saw the Princess, her doublet was smeared with the Hero’s blood. Surely the maid would have taken her back to her room for a change of clothes. Yet when you finished surgery and reported to the Royal Family, the Princess was still in her same tunic. The red smear like the slash of a knife.

You told the King and Princess what you went on to tell all your colleagues who came to help. Sir Link was stable for now, but unconscious. A fairy or the Princess Mipha’s healing would put him right, but until then he could only awaken in his own time.

The King then gave you strict instructions that under no circumstances was the Hero to succumb to his wounds. You took that to mean that if you happened to find some forbidden black magic in a book somewhere, you would be pardoned if it saved the Hero’s life. You were to cut open his chest and manually pump his heart if that is what it took. If you had to forcibly transfuse the blood of an infant into the Hero—Maybe you needed some sleep. Your thoughts tended to get dark after a long period without rest.

The Knight was going to be fine, you reasoned. You had teams of knights, soldiers, squires, and nurses out looking for a fairy to bring back. Failing that, riders with twice as many horses were beelining for Zora’s Domain as of yesterday. All to bring the Zora Princess back without delay. If the rumors of the Zora’s fondness for Sir Link were to be believed, they would hesitate even less. In the meantime, Sir Link was being watched over by other doctors and nurses around the clock. All that could be done now was to wait and pray.

As soon as you walked into your patient’s bedroom, you discovered that the Princess was in complete agreement with you. Knelt at the Hero’s right hand bedside was Princess Zelda. Her hands clasped in prayer like a literary trope come to life. You noticed she was wearing her blue dress, it seemed the maids had convinced her to bathe and change her clothes. Or the King had ordered her to. Either way, she was back to being presentable as expected of a Princess. What was more astonishing though was that she was praying.

You didn’t know how wide spread the knowledge was, but Princess Zelda hated praying. For ten years now she had been devoted to unlocking her Sealing Magic that was her birthright as the heir to the Bloodline of the Goddess Hylia. Just as her Mother and Grandmother had before her. As both Queens had been known for their piety, logic dictated that the powers of the Goddess could only be unlocked through devotion and prayer. The only problem was, time was not on the Princess’s side. So what should have been quiet moments of reflection once or twice a day were hour long periods lasting whole days. Growing longer and more frequent as the years passed and no discernable progress was made.

You could understand the King’s hurry. The Fortuneteller had foretold that the Calamity was imminent. All else they had warned about had come to pass. Your only concern was the many times you had treated the young Princess for bruised knees, hand cramps, and hypothermia. It didn’t matter how many decades you had served in the medical field. When a 9 year old girl sat in your office, shivering and crying about how much she hated prayer, it broke your heart. Especially when that same girl, now 16 had stop vocalizing her anguish. It was almost enough to make you resign.

All that to emphasize how peculiar you found it to see the Princess praying at her Knight’s bedside. You supposed the King must have ordered her to pray here as a golden opportunity. The Princess and her Knight were a destined pair after all. The Princess and the Hero who would face the Calamity together and deal the finishing blows. The Hero with his Sword to defeat the Calamity and the Princess with her powers to seal it away. Perhaps the sick bed of the Hero was a kind of alter in its own right? You were no priest or scholar, but the logic seemed sound.

One time when Sir Link came into your office for a minor wrist injury, an assistant of yours had begged the Hero to bless him with Courage. Sir Link then awkwardly patted the young man on the shoulder and gave him an encouraging nod. The lad did stop squirming at the sight of blood from that day on, so you digressed.

You stood to the Hero’s left. Careful not to disturb the Princess, you took your patient’s pulse and counted his breaths. His breaths were shallow and weezy, but his pulse was steady. He was on the mend, but the whole Kingdom would breathe easier once a fairy or Princess Mipha was acquired.

“Doctor?” Princess Zelda spoke up. Her voice startled you. She hadn’t sounded this delicate since that time she fainted in the Spring of Power. She was 12.

“No change, your Highness.” You answered, guessing what she would ask. “He is improving, but not at a pace we would like.”

The Princess nodded. “Has there been any word from Mipha?”

“No, my Princess. It has only been a day. It takes five days for a rider on horseback to reach Zora’s Domain. Perhaps four days when riding with haste—”

“Yes, I know.” The Princess interrupted, though you took no offense. Grieving loved ones were to be given allowances. And the Princess was sure to be counted among Sir Link’s friends by now. You had heard how they both had warmed to each other after he saved her from the Yiga. There had been some talk of how the Princess had fled from Sir Link which led to her being cornered by the Yiga in the first place, but you thought that was ridiculous. The Princess was known as an academic girl by her tutor. She would not be so foolish as to intentionally flee her own protector.

“By now, the scouts should have reached the last reported sighting of a Great Fairy.” You added. “If Hylia smiles upon us, they shall return in only three days.”

The Princess frowned as if biting back a scathing retort. Clearly this was an unacceptable alternative.

“What about food?” The Princess asked. “What have you been feeding him?”

“Honeywater.” You said. “Honey dilluted in water to be carefully poured down his throat. To provide him calories.”

“How many calories?”

“Enough to stave off starvation until either solution can be brought to us.”

“I asked how many calories.” Princess Zelda repeated.

“We estimate 1500 calories per day.” You said. “That is as much as we can manage by drip feeding him.”

“Not good enough.” The Princess cursed. “I’ve seen Sir Link eating three portions for supper. His metabolism is enormous.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Be that as it may, if we increase the rate of honeywater, he could choke. He needs time to breathe and digest what food we give him.”

The Princess cursed, but did not argue further. You understood. She was frustrated and looking for something useful she could do for her Knight. Her and the rest of the Kingdom.

“Would you like a chair, your Highness?” You asked.

The Princess hesitated like she wanted to refuse out of misplaced pride, as if being uncomfortable would in any way help her Knight. In the end, wiser thoughts prevailed and the Princess politely accepted your offer. A chair befitting her Royal Highness was soon brought in and you retired to attend to a textbook on potions that might help.

When you returned an hour later to check up on your patient, you found the Princess seated next to her Knight exactly where you left her. She was watching one of the nurses drip feed Sir Link the honeywater with great scrutiny.

A few hours after that, you returned to find the Princess administering the honeywater herself. You reminded her that a set amount had been prepared for each day and you would not have your medical treatment overruled. Even by the Princess of Hyrule.

The next time you checked in on Sir Link and the Princess, you found a maid in the room holding a tray of sandwiches and fruit.

“Please, your Highness. The sandwiches will get cold.” The young maid pleaded.

“Then find someone else to enjoy them.” The Princess stated. “I am not hungry.”

The maid turned to you, hoping you could use your authority as the Royal Physician to make her take the sandwiches, but you knew from a glance that this was a case of leading a horse to water. You told the maid to leave the sandwiches and the tray.

You requested to take one of the sandwiches from the Princess, which she granted. It was perhaps uncouth on your part, but you had skipped lunch in preparing this healing potion.

You administered the potion after explaining exactly what its purpose was. It would not cure Sir Link, but it would kickstart the healing process. Should some terrible accident befall Princess Mipha, this potion would eventually get Sir Link back on his feet.

Once the potion was drained, you gave one final inspection of your patient and bid the Princess goodnight. You checked with the nurse on duty that her replacements for the night shift were ready and you retired to catch some sleep for yourself.

You returned promptly the next morning to find that the Princess had beaten you to her Knight’s bedside. As she did so the morning after that and the morning after that. You checked with the nurses and confirmed that the Princess had not slept in her chair each night, but had gone to bed late and risen early to sit by her Knight’s side each day. She ate little and focused her attention away from her Knight even less. Not even a Royal command could remove her from Sir Link’s sickroom. Though you did note that the King had not gone so far as to send guards to escort her out of the room by force. Lady Impa and Lady Purah had both been summoned to talk some sense into the girl to no avail. Along with Princess Zelda’s tutor and one of her older maids that had managed to convince the Princess to bathe and change her clothes after the first day. Chieftess Urbosa could only send a letter as she was preoccupied in a campaign to root out Yiga in the Gerudo Highlands. Yet even her words could not sway the Princess.

You had seen this affliction before, the Princess was in love with her Knight.

It wasn’t the hardest thing to deduce. Countless Knights and Soldiers had come under your care and a lucky handful each year had lovers or admirers that would sit right at their bedside, waiting for them to wake up. As if their love could bolster the body to recover.

Usually it was maids or stable boys sitting by the bedside, but you had seen a few lovers of noble blood. The Charges the Knight was supposed to protect and had taken a grievous blow in their service. One time a nobleman of the House Bospheromus and as pampered as they came, had slept on the floor of his Knight’s sickroom while she laid in her feather bed. There had been quite the uproar from the young man’s Lady Mother as she had arranged a marriage for him already and here he was wasting time at the bed of his savior.

That was all for a minor nobleman and a Knight of little renown though. Between the Princess of Hyrule and the Hero of Hyrule? That was much more zesty as it were.

Princess Zelda would be Queen one day. Her husband would be King. You tried to imagine the young Knight Sir Link as King and it… well it actually was a nice fit. He was not of Noble blood, so he would not be expected to govern as the future Queen would. You could see Sir Link standing besides the Princess with the Master Sword at his side. He would not overshadow the Princess, but he would project power while she projected grace.

“Doctor?” The Princess spoke up.

“Yes?” You replied.

“Have you ever heard of the Shrine of Resurrection?”

That threw you for a loop. You had hardly heard a word from the Princess these past few days. Now here she was enquiring to you about Ancient Shiekah Technology.

“I have heard about it, yes.” You confirmed, as if a man in your profession hadn’t heard about it. The Shrine was legendary among physicians, said to be able to heal any injury. Even those beyond the power of a Fairy Elixir that could revive someone on the brink of death. Every month a new paper was published in Hyrule’s Medical Journal about the latest discoveries and hypotheses made about the Shrine. “But I am afraid the Shrine would not be appropriate in this stage of treatment.”

“Whatever for?” The Princess demanded. “If it can heal Link.”

“It most certainly could.” You agreed. “The Shiekah who discovered the Shrine confirmed this when they tested the Shrine. However the results were inconclusive and going by the legend surrounding the Shrine, it is only to be used as a last resort to save a person of great importance from the grasp of death. Sir Link, Hylia keep him, has not died, and is on the mend as I have confirmed.”

“But he is the Hero who Wields the Master Sword.” The Princess argued. “Who could be of more importance to make healthy?”

“I will not argue with you, Princess.” You said diplomatically. “But there was another finding about the Shrine that makes me hesitate to use it. Last year, the Shiekah tested a sample of the healing salve produced by the Shrine. It healed the patient, but it also resulted in significant memory loss.”

“Memory loss?” The Princess repeated.

“Yes.” You confirmed. “The patient was give a small dosage to cover a cut on their arm, but the patient soon developed amnesia. They forgot their own name and the location of where they were. They recovered their memories after a short while, but that was just from a tiny application. Even with Sir Link’s injuries as improved as they are. I do not consider it worth the risk to expose him to the Shrine of Resurrection. Not if we risk him forgetting his own name, his skills with a blade, or his duty to the Kingdom. Especially if the memory loss is permanent after a high enough dosage.”

The Princess looked as crushed as the day she accompanied Sir Link to the Castle. You couldn’t blame her. Such a perfect hope had blossomed in her heart and you had to smother it. To have her beloved Shiekah Technology hold the solution to everyone’s woes would have been more than a relief, it would have been a triumph. Proof of the Princess’s devotions to technology, not the Goddess Hylia, had led to salvation. Rather than causing her love's near death, it would have saved him.

“Princess Mipha is here!” A nurse called into the room before, completely forgetting herself in order to convey this news.

The Princess turned away from her Knight’s sickbed. “What?”

“Oh!” The nurse blushed as you gave her your very best disappointed look. “Forgive me, your Highness, but Princess Mipha of the Zora has finally arrived. She just passed through the gates.”

You hesitated a moment, expecting the Princess to speak and you did not wish to talk over her. Two moments passed without a word, so you took the risk. “Excellent. Send for a servant to lead the Zora Princess directly here as soon as possible.”

“Already done, Doctor.” The nurse informed.

“Very good. Then spend word to the kitchens. They will need to prepare a large meal for Sir Link when he awakens. I am told he has a large appetite.”

“Yes, sir.” The nurses nodded at you, curtsied at the Princess, and then left to complete the task.

You tried to glance at the Princess’s expression, but she had turned back to watch over Sir Link. You wondered why she would not be outwardly thrilled at this good news. Until minutes later when your inquiry was answered for you.

The door burst open and you nearly jumped out of your shoes. In walked a bright red Zora dressed in the finest silvery jewelry and a sash of sky blue fabric to match the rest of the Champions garb. Her head was shaped like a dolphin’s body, but you knew from experience that all Ocean Zora had teeth like a shark’s. The worry on her face couldn’t be more apparent if she were crying.

“Link!” She exclaimed and fell on her knees at his bedside, right next to the Hylian Princess.

Oh now you remembered. If there was one nugget of gossip that was a worst kept secret than the Princess of Hyrule's affection for her Knight (and you had only recently become in the know on that) it was the Princess of the Zora and her love for the Hylian Champion Sir Link.

You remembered just two months ago when a soldier had come to you with a very particular rash. Some probing of his friends had stirred up the truth. That a month ago they had been stationed in Zora’s Domain and that the patient had gotten to know a particular Zora very well. And sure enough, that rash was more commonly known among Zora.

As Scale Itch.

There was nothing you could do for the man at that time besides advising him to take a vacation back to Zora’s Domain to inquire for ointments there. To which his friends had suggested. “Maybe you should ask Sir Link, he ought to have the right ointment handy.”

You weren’t certain if the soldier ever took his friend seriously, although you did remember treating that same soldier for a black eye later that week.

None of that was going to be answered right now. Instead you explained to Princess Mipha what had happened, what symptoms Sir Link had, and all your attempts to treat him. Princess Mipha was not formally trained in medicine, but her natural gift at healing magic meant that she had been given a crash course in Hylian physiology. So she knew enough to work with you.

As soon as she was filled in, she placed her hands on Sir Link’s chest. You could see his torso rising a falling with his improved, but still labored breathes. Princess Mipha concentrated and at once her hands began to emit light, a glowing blue light that filled the room with a calming warmth. You yourself felt your aches lesson just standing in the vicinity of the Princess’s magic. To Sir Link, who was receiving the whole force of it, he was already showing signs of improvement. You smiled solemnly. Of course you were relieved to see your patient recover so dramatically, but it was the envy of your life that you had never been blessed with healing magic yourself.

You looked over at Princess Zelda, hoping to catch the look of relief on her face. Not so. She was staring daggers at Princess Mipha, who had knelt down shoulder to shoulder with the Hylian girl. You didn’t know if you should say anything. Maybe suggest the Princess should let Princess Mipha work alone, but you thought it wouldn’t be wise to sign your own execution warrant.

You just stood still, waiting to inspect Princess Mipha’s handiwork, and trying not to notice Princess Zelda slipping her fingers in between Sir Link’s.

His breathing slowed. Smoothing out into a sigh. His eyes scrunched and Princess Mipha ceased her magic.

After days of worry and work, Sir Link opened his eyes.

“Pr… Princess…?” He breathed, his voice sounding deep for going unused for so long.

Princess Zelda let loose a shaky gasp, like she had been holding it in all week, waiting for this one word from him. This single reassuring noise.

“Yes, Link, I am here.” Princess Mipha said, leaning over him so that her face covered his and consequently her head eclipsed his from Princess Zelda’s.

“Mipha…?” Link groaned out, sounding stronger than even a moment before.

“I’m here, Link.” The Zora Princess reassured as she reached to take his hand in hers, only to find Princess Zelda was already holding it. “Oh. And Princess Zelda is here too.”

“Princess?” Link repeated, looking over to catch her eye. Only now did she melt. You could finally see it, the relief washing over her face like a river washing away muck from a bank.

“Yes, I am here. Link.” Princess Zelda said, sounding like the most grateful girl in all of Hyrule that Sir Link had woken up.

Well that tears it. You needed to do something.

“Thank you, Princess Mipha.” You spoke up. “I will inspect Sir Link shortly. Could you step outside though?”

Princess Mipha turned to you like you had just suggested her baby brother needed a good slap across the ear flaps. “What?”

“We have some other patients that were greatly benefit from your magic. If you could be so kind. It would do Sir Link good to not be crowded in his room while he comes around.” You explained professionally.

Princess Mipha blinked, but recomposed herself as befit the crown jewel of the Zora people. “I see, yes of course.”

“Thank you, your Highness.” You said and escorted her to the door. Looking back only once to see the side eye of Princess Zelda and that look of gratitude she now gave you.

Chapter Text

Yes, that’s right. The Head Chef of Hyrule Castle was a Goron. Gawk all they want, no one could whip up a soufflé like you.

It wasn’t the easiest childhood, growing up on Death Mountain. Oh sure, wide open spaces to roll around in, fresh sulfur air, and as many caves to explore as you could ever want; but suggest to your brothers one time that maybe we could eat something other than rocks and they look at you like you dropped from the moon. The teasing might die down, but the nicknames never went away.

You couldn’t help it. Your Father ran the local inn that took in visitors from the other races while your Papa worked in the mines. You spent your early years hanging out in the lobby and watching the Hylians, the Gerudo, even a few Rito and Zora all come in with their own food. More than just salt, they had meats and vegetables, cheeses and fruits. All kinds of things they could mix and match to make all kinds of crazy good flavors. Whereas the variety found in the average Goron diet included but was not limited to rocks, hard rocks, molton rocks, ice cold rocks, crumbly rocks, igneous rocks, rocks with a fun swirl inside, gravel, stones, and crystal shards for dessert.

Tasty rocks, all of them, but Hylia above did they start to blend together after you had finally tasted a meat pie.

You begged the next Hylian you met to teach you their cooking. They indulged you, young as you were, and they were so enthusiastic when you served them up your attempt. You were hooked then. From then on you saved up your pocket money to buy ingredients from traveling merchants who usually only sold to other Hylian and Gerudo brothers. Everything you made, you loved, but as your only experience with cooking for the first ten years of your life had been your Father cooking rocks on an open vein of lava, you still had plenty to learn. You shared with other guests as they came in. Taking careful note of each of their reviews of your dishes. Even the ones whose tongues were so burnt they couldn’t speak in any recognizable language. Soon your Father made you the permanent chef at his inn. You got better and soon word had traveled down from Goron City and spread like a lava flow. Brothers from every race started to come up not to do business with the mines or relax in the hotsprings, but to try out your cooking.

It wasn’t all gemstones though. Things came to a head when your Father and Papa said they wanted you to take over their Inn, but you wanted to accept an invitation from the Royal Head Chef to study the culinary arts in Castle Town. You had never shouted at your Father or your Papa like that before. Nor they to you.

You went to Castle Town and hadn’t talked to them since.

You spent a year in Castle Town. Taking cooking classes by day and hauling furniture by night. Your Hylian brothers had their own nicknames and teasings for you, none of which they said ever again after you were ranked top of their class. Then you went on to work at all the best restaurants in Castle Town for over a decade. Learning from every brother who would talk to you. Even spending two years down in Lurelin to learn the finer points of grilling fish. Until finally you made it. An invitation to apply for a chef position in Hyrule Castle itself.

For twenty years you worked in the kitchens. Earning your lumps in every position. Burning the midnight oil before every feast, holiday, festival, ball, and Royal Birthday.

When Chef Ramson finally retired 3 years ago, he told the King himself that he had only one suggestion for a successor. You.

No one had any nicknames for you now. Besides Chef, Boss, or Sir.

You tried not to let it go to your head, even though you ran a tight mining operation. The King and the rest of the servants appreciated how well you ran the kitchens. You were content, even if your work schedule didn’t leave a lot of time for friends.

“Chef, a request from the Princess.”

You quit daydreaming and focused on the tiny little Hylian brother that was one of the servants of the castle. As Head Chef, any request made by a member of the Royal Family was to be given your personal attention.

“Go on.”

“Ingredients for a Salmon Meuniere, two loafs of bread, butter, assorted fruits, ingredients for apple pie, and non-alcoholic wine to be provided in a picnic basket at once for her Highness, Princess Zelda.”

“The Princess wants Salmon Meuniere and Apple Pie this early in the day?” You asked, wondering if the Calamity had finally come to give the Princess such an appetite.

“No sir, she just wants the ingredients. For Sir Link to cook with, I would imagine. They appear to be planning a picnic.” The servant clarified.

You frowned. This again.

Sir Link… now there was a brother you weren’t sure how you felt about him. On the one hand it appeared to be proven fact that the tiny Knight knew how to cook and appreciated food, which you didn’t have words to express how much you approved of that. He was Hylia’s Chosen. It was natural he should know how to cook. On the other hand, this very virtue had caused him and you to butt heads at a distance. He was the Princess’s Knight. It was his job to look after her well being, just as it was your job to feed the Royal Family. You didn’t step in between him and protecting the Princess. So why should he get to step in between you and cooking for the Princess?

Sure, you had plenty to content with already, a Royal Chef’s work was never done, not with a few thousand mouths to feed in the Castle 3 times a day, and King Rhoam himself had never asked for anything silly like ingredients, but this was for Princess Zelda.

You still remembered the look on her face when she was even tinier than she was now. On her 5th Birthday, bouncing on her mother’s knee and beaming between every bite of fruit cake you had made for her. The little princess had declared it the tastiest thing in the world. High praise from a Princess, but when it came from such a young brother it was all the sweeter.

And her mother, the Queen… Who had once scolded some dinner guests when they made a comment about your appearance after you and the rest of the cooks were presented to the nobles after dinner. Who had been kindness itself to every cook, guard and servant. When she passed away it was like Death Mountain had erupted and a cloud of ash hung over the Kingdom. The Princess spent that Birthday alone with the servants and the cooks tried to pull out all the stops to cheer her up. Three succulent meals later, the Princess had barely looked up from her plate. Until your fruit cake slice was placed on the table. And the Princess’s nurse maid reported back that the 7 year old Princess actually smiled.

For the next decade you made special care to keep an ear out for the Princess’s mood. She was a curious little brother, just like you had been, but with a terrible job to do. All that praying and sitting around when you remembered seeing her happiest when she was rolling around in the gardens and collecting bugs. You always made sure to put the extra zest in after the Princess had a particularly bad day of devotions. Some comforting pumpkin soup and fresh bread to warm her up. It warmed you up to know you could do something for the Princess, even if she didn’t outright thank you every time.

Now though, more and more after that whole kerfuffle in the Desert, the Princess had been requesting, not meals for traveling or her favorite dishes, but ingredients for her Knight to cook with.

How could Sir Link take that job away from you? Who did Hylia’s Chosen think he was?

You selected a few stockboys to fulfill the order. Three portions worth. You knew all too well of Sir Link’s appetite. Especially for such a little guy.

While they ran up and down the Cellar stairs, fetching everything one could possibly need to make Salmon Meuniere out on a campfire cook stove, you had an epiphany. An old lesson from your former mentor. Do something unexpected with your dishes.

So you slipped in a little surprise. A slice of your beloved Goron Spice fruit cake. A recipe you would take to your grave, but one the Princess held near and dear to her heart.

You placed it next to the cellar chilled bottle of non-alcoholic wine where it wouldn’t get too warm. Not that it would get mushy either way. The fruit cake was a bit denser and sturdier than your typical dessert.

You personally folded over the picnic basket and handed it to the servant for delivery.

Then you busied yourself with a sudden arrival of a platoon of Rito. Who had been invited to rest and be honored at the Castle after their heroic defense of a Hylian village from a stampede of Stalls. Undead horses that supposedly came back out of resentment of their riders mistreating them in life. Or so the Stable Master told it. You wouldn’t know. The only traveling you did was on your feet or rolling on your back with the dirt beneath you as was proper.

Anyway, the Rito had a specific diet that you had to address. A lot more grains, seeds, and rarer meats than was typical when writing a menu for Hylians. Nothing you and your brothers couldn’t handle.

Sure enough, the meal went off without a hitch with compliments coming back with most every cleaned plate. You swelled with pride, but you had been so busy with the sudden menu change that you hadn’t noticed that the picnic basket had been returned to your kitchen. Barely a crumb to be found. Except of course for the left over apple pie and splashes of wine. Oh that made your night. Seemed that the Knight’s freshly baked rustic apple pie couldn’t compete with your seven day old Fruit Cake.

You grinned wide at your victory and folded over the picnic blanket.

A week passed as normal when another request from the Princess came in. You prepared yourself to cook it personally as the bulk of your brothers were quarantined in the cook barracks with a Hylian stomach virus that was going around.

“The Princess would like the ingredients to make a Fruit Cake.”

Your heart dropped like a boulder into your gut. You might have to kill someone.

“She doesn’t want a fresh fruit cake?” You asked. “I’ve got the ingredients ready right here. I could have it out of the oven and sliced up for her in two hours.”

“No, her Knight wants to try making it himself. They’re going out on a ride around the moat and wanted something sweet.” The servant explained.

He wants to make your fruit cake himself? Your informal prize winning fruit cake that had been the delight of Queens and Princesses inside and beyond Hyrule Castle? The visiting Princess from Hytopia had wanted to bring you back to her palace and train her chefs, and you had graciously refused them. Now the Knight wanted the same. And he wanted to cook your cake over a campfire pot? Like a damn Bokoblin?

It wouldn’t even work. You had to bake your fruit cake at a very precise temperature consistently for twenty minutes and then lowering the heat for an hour before cranking it back up. You couldn’t get that kind of precision over a campfire, you needed an oven. The cake could come out rock hard in a way that not even your fellow Gorons would find appetizing. Or too crumbly and be reduced to mash. Nevermind the coming Calamity that threatened doom to all of Hyrule and her people, this would be a catastrophe!

You tried explaining this to the servant who knew as much about baking as you did about flying, but he knew enough to remind you of the golden rule for any culinary artists serving the Royal Family.

Whatever they asked for, they got.

It pained you to insert an appropriate measurement of Goron Spice into the picnic basket. Alongside flour, sugar, assorted Gerudo rum soaked dried fruits, etc. You contented yourself with knowing that you only had to do this once. Sir Link would make his feeble attempt at the recipe card you had provided. Hey, might as well give him a fair chance. And when he produced inedible slop, the Princess would know once and for all where to get her fruit cake from.

The servant took the picnic basket and you went to help out what cooks were still on their feet with the stew for the guard mess hall. It ended up not being as thick as the guards were accustomed to, but the stomach virus had wormed its way into their ranks as well before the Royal Doctor could sound the alarm. So a lighter broth was appreciated all the same.

Her Highness, Princess Zelda and her Knight Sir Link returned to the Castle well after dinner time. Something about a small army of Bokoblins, Moblins, two Lynels, and a damn Hinox. Sir Link had a bandage around his forearm but was still up and about. Or maybe that was the story from the other time this happened. Making the rounds again in all the excitement. Whatever the truth, he dropped off the picnic basket personally while you were double checking your Cellar inventory.

Inside the picnic basket though, was some of the leftover fruit cake. Now that was interesting.

A second ironclad rule for cooks of the Royal Family was never to touch their food. No one in Hyrule Castle ever starved, but you did not touch the food meant for the King and the Princess. Still, you were curious. And you were the Head Chef. To know how to make a dish wrong was as important as knowing how to make it right.

There was at least 2/3rds of the cake left. Either it had been terrible or those monsters had gotten the drop on the two of them in the middle of trying it. You cut yourself the barest sliver. Carefully holding the tiny Hylian butter knife with your thumb and forefinger. You placed your slice on a clean plate and lopped off a bite with an equally small fork, being sure to get a good clump of dried fruit in there.

Son of a jagged cliff. It was your fruit cake.

Same texture, same depth of flavor, perfectly dense and yet still moist. That Knight, that selfless Goddess Chosen Hero who would one day save us all had absolutely nailed your recipe. On an open fire cook pot with ingredients that had been warming in a saddlebag after hours of riding in the sun.

It was as if Hylia herself had risen up from the bubbling magma of Death Mountain and slapped you.

You retired early that evening. Your brothers thought you might have caught that stomach virus going around. Even though the Doctor had told them that you should be immune. Whatever. You went to bed.

The Princess requested another slice of Sir Link’s Fruit Cake the next day. And the day after that. Two slices every time, actually. Sir Link had wanted a piece too but wasn’t so greedy as to take double portions on the Princess’s favorite dessert. You let it go. Tried to convince yourself that you were a grown Goron acting like a little brother. Excuse the Hylia’s Chosen for being good at everything. You were the one getting interviewed by newspapers for your rise to the height of culinary accolades in Hyrule.

“Isn’t it romantic how he cooks for her?” Another servant asked you as you delivered another picnic basket.

“Romantic?” You asked, unfamiliar with such things.

“Sir Link, sworn to protect the Princess and cooking her delicious meals? He’s like the perfect man.”

You suppose that was truth. What brother didn’t want someone who could protect them and cook for them? You thought so, but then you hadn’t put much effort into finding it. Not when you had the next meal to plan.

“So the Princess and her Knight are together, are they?”

“No. They can’t be.” The servant said delightedly.

Thirty two years since you came down the mountain and you still found yourself confused by Hylian customs. “How come?”

“Their stations of course.” The servant explained, sounding absolutely thrilled as they did so. “The lowborn Knight winning the love of the highborn Princess when they can never be together. The humble servant, so devoted to his master, while she thinks his kindness and his deeds make her the one unworthy of him.”

On and on she prattled like this. Making you wonder why Hylians made such a fuss about their class system. Oh sure, you understood that the Royal Family were above all. They were the direct descendants of Hylia herself and her chosen mates. So they should be held up high, but why the other noble Hylian families that dotted the country? Why did they get to be held up high and preferred to marry the Princess? Because a long long time ago one of their kin did manage to marry a Princess of Hyrule? You always thought that the further trees grew out, the thinner the branches got. Besides, none of the Noble Houses had birthed Sir Link. So didn’t that prove their claims to greatness were all clumps of dirt?

“So its makes their love all the sweeter. Because it can never be. No matter how much either of them want it. No matter how much either of them mean to the other.” The servant concluded.

That stirred a thought in you. Something that had been rattling around in the back of your head like loose pebbles, but you nary had a moment to think about it. This annoyance you had for Sir Link. Was it jealousy? Were you in love with the Princess?

A disturbing thought, given how you first saw her when she was just a hatchling curled up on Lady Urbosa’s arm. Still, your mind could be like a runaway boulder. When it picked up speed there was no stopping it. You pictured yourself and the Princess sitting by the fire like you used to see your Father and Papa do. No matter how hard you tried, that image didn’t sit right. Only when you imagined the Princess sitting where you used to sat by the fire did things click.

Okay, so you thought of the Princess like a son. It made sense. You and all but two of the occupants of Hyrule Castle were all paid employees when you got down to it. That didn’t mean a part of you didn’t see yourself as having helped in raising the Princess. It took many rocks, big and small to make a mountain after all.

You wondered if you were like the Noble Houses who thought that Sir Link wasn’t good enough for the Princess. No, that wasn’t it either. You had tasted it yourself, that brother could cook. You were jealous, just of not getting to do your part in helping Princess Zelda. Whom all who knew her believed in her and had placed their hope in her.

You took another early night off. Your first in 32 years. No one minded. All your brothers knew your reputation. You were never above helping out sous chefs with their peelings or busboys with the dishes. This wasn’t the Boss being lazy, it was the Boss trusting the rest of us to step up.

You sat back in your chair. As Head Chef you were gifted your own apartment in the Castle. Something that felt like classism, but you had at least earned this cozy private room through merit.

You wondered of this exhaustion meant that you needed to finally take a vacation? You were getting into imaginary spats with Heroes you had never even met, for Din’s sake. Maybe back down to Lurelin and see if your old sushi chef sensei was still around. Maybe you should try Hateno for their cheese and veggie dishes. Or the Gerudo for their symphony of seasonings.

Maybe you should finally go back up to Death Mountain and relax in a hot spring. Have a non-food related vacation. Then on your way down, swing by your Father’s Inn and see if your parents will even talk to you. Maybe then you’ll finally know if you ever want to talk to them.

There was a knock at your door. Odd, there was nothing your brothers in the kitchens would need you for. Not unless the ovens burned down and King Rhoam had ordered a late dessert. You left your thoughts with your chair and went to open the door. Only to find, of all people, Sir Link standing outside your apartment.

“Good evening.” Sir Link greeted you, standing there and looking awkward without the Princess to stand in front of and to the side of him.

“Sir Link.” You said, astonished that he would ever come to see you. And at this hour. Princess Zelda must have retired early and the Shiekah Guards took over. “What can I do for you?”

“Actually, I have a favor to ask.” Sir Link said. “May I come in?”

However you imagined your first real conversation with the Wielder of the Master Sword to go, it wasn’t this. Especially not after your one sided feud with him these past few weeks.

“Yes of course.” You stepped aside and let the short Knight come in. He did so and you shut the door.

“What can I help you with, Sir Link?”

“This is a rather silly favor for me to ask you.” Sir Link began. “You are a busy man. Please feel free to refuse. But I was wondering if you could give me a few cooking lessons.”

You blinked. Once, twice, three times before your brain fog cleared and you registered what had just been asked of you and by whom.

“Lessons?” You repeated. “But you are as skilled with a cook pot as you are with a sword. Everyone says so.”

“I’m alright. My Mother was the real chef in the family.” Link said rather fondly. “I just, you know how I have been cooking for the Princess more and more on our travels.

“Yes.” You thought with a lot more venom than how you actually vocalized it.

“Well she loves my cooking, all except my salmon. I’ve just never been good at fish.” Link admitted. “I tried a week ago, with Salmon Meuniere, and the less said about it the better. Thank Hylia we had that bread and that fruit cake.”

“This is really important to you, is it?” You asked.

“I love to cook.” Link admitted. “And I always want to get better at it. And I really like it when the Princess enjoys my cooking. It is how we finally became friendly with each other.”

To have the Hylian Champion come to you, cap in hand, and say something so vulnerable and honest. Hylia sure knew how to pick them.

“We’re mining the same rock.” You said.

“Anyway. Princess Zelda thought I was being silly about the whole thing, but she said I should ask you for a few lessons. She said you were the best chef in all of Hyrule and you were always so kind to new cooks. But again, I know you have a busy job. Feel free to refuse.”

The Princess had really said all that?

It felt as if Hylia herself had arisen out of the boiling magma of Death Mountain and gently kissed your forehead.

“Tell you what…” You began, thinking back to your lifetime of lessons. “I could use a late night snack. I’ve got some white fish cutlets in my private ice box. Why don’t you fry me up some fish on my skillet and I’ll see what we have to work with?”

“Right now?” Link beamed, sounding excited.

“Right now.” You said as you casually returned to your easy chair and sat back down.

“Yes, Sir.” Link said, sounding like a young busboy finally being allowed to touch a stove. You could hear the clanging of skillet on metal grating, the strike of a match, and the foom of a lit burner. Then the rummaging around your wooden cabinets.

“Oil is in the top cabinet above you.” You said without looking over. Maybe you weren’t on vacation yet, but you had certainly kicked your feet up. “Just don’t drown the fish in it.”

“Yes, Chef.” Sir Link said before he put the fish on the skillet and let it sizzle. He started to hum a tune you didn’t recognize.

In the end, there wasn’t much you needed to teach him, but neither of you could complain with such delicious food on your plates.

Chapter Text

Well this was a large pile of goat droppings if ever you had seen one. And you had seen a lot in your time.

First you wake up to the village kids breaking to into your house and playing with your old souvenirs. Then Talo gets into your Shadow Crystal—don’t ask you why you still had that thing encased in glass—and you have to snatch it away from him before he gets turned into a ghost or whatever. Of course you touch it and then for that split second before transforming you are terrified that you are about to turn into a large black and grey wolf and terrify the children. Then you’ll have to escape your own village before a mob shows up and hoof it (er, paw it) over to the Sacred Grove to touch the Master Sword and make it back home all before your pot of soup boils over.

If only!

For in the next split second there was a flash of colors like you had never seen before (and to reiterate, you have seen a lot for a young man your age) and you found yourself in some woods you had never seen after a lifetime of exploring around the Ordon and Faron Woods.

That was two days ago, so your Pumpkin Soup was fucked by now. And so were you once you realized where you were.

It had been a couple of years since you had last been a wolf. So the tricks you had picked up for walking around on four legs hadn’t come back to you all at once. As soon as that was sorted out, you made your way north for want of following a better direction until you found a road. One terrified hay farmer and his son later, you ran into the woods and kept following the road at a distance. Taking a break only to hunt some local boar.

Hey, you had missed dinner and judging the sun you had woken up early in the morning wherever you were. Besides, the Princess had told you that wolfs frequently ate raw animals out in the wilds because of their stomach acids or something. So in theory, you should be able to eat like a wolf while in wolf form. Judging from your lack of stomach cramps and puking up until now, the Princess was right on the rupees.

By the morning of the second day, after collapsing on a lovely rock to sleep on, you found a sign of civilization. A walled city and a castle! And your hope died a good chunk more that day. It was unlike any city or castle you had ever seen. You knew what it looked like from a distance, but the size was all wrong. Castle Town was much less vibrantly painted than this town was, and the Hyrule Castle you knew and frequently visited wasn’t on a hill like that. It didn’t have so many walls defending it. No, you foolishly thought, you were just in another country far, far away. Another country that used the Hyrule Crest on all its banners, but perhaps they also worshipped the Golden Goddesses? Maybe they just liked the Crest design? It was a nice design. Not as nice as the horns of a noble Ordon Goat, but hey ho.

You kept up your delusions all the way into the alleyways of the city. Sneaking under a broken drain line under the city walls and navigating cat like over the ropes that crisscrossed the roofs of town buildings.

Still got it.

Then you found something you could use, a discarded newspaper you had seen a man toss in the trash. You snatched it with your teeth, found a nice secluded alleyway with good lighting and a dry floor to examine it on and read the paper.

Castle Town Times: October 21st, Year of Hylia 2024

Whelp. No need to worry about any messes on your kitchen floor now. Your tree home was probably burned down or chopped down or just turned to bark mulch by now. You were in the future. A few hundred years into the future, judging by the year on the paper. You couldn’t quite do the math in your panicked state of mind. Maybe if Midna was here she could shout the answer in horror for you.

You lay on your side for a bit. Letting how much you missed your friend overtake your blind panic for a relaxing minute.

Whatever, it amounted to the same. In the future or in the past, you needed to get back home to your year. Hadn’t the Princess once told you a more detailed account of the stories of the Hero of Time? Not 100 years ago there had been another Hero like you (yes, it would have been even longer by now, but shut up inner thoughts) and he had bounced back and forth in time as easily as playing a tune on a pipe. Or flute. Tuba? The point is that there was magic out there that could time travel. Maybe even the same magic that sent you to this new era at the exact same moment you transformed into a wolf. That magic was gifted to the Hero of Time by the Princess of that Era. Also named Princess Zelda, just like the one you knew. Hey, if the Royal Family didn’t bother to change their Crest over the centuries, why bother coming up with more than one name for their 1st born daughters? Its not like a family could have two daughters at once?

Focus. Ugh, you forgot how hard it was to concentrate as a wolf. Your mind became more… scattered. Or maybe you were just exhausted and starving. Hylia knew you hadn’t been want for any meals after your adventure saving the Kingdom.

Right. Save the Kingdom, Princess Zelda. Any Princess Zelda would have magic or some way to point you in the direction of magic that could get you home. She might even be able to recognize you as human. Your Princess had. Granted that was because you were both stuck in Twilight and only the two of you weren’t ghosts. So maybe you needed to become human before you met the Princess and her Guards. You had briefly made acquaintance with some of her Guards earlier today and this Era’s soldiers certainly seemed to be made of sterner stuff than the brave men that had been rolled over by Zant and his goons.

To turn back to human, you needed the Master Sword. You had a rough idea of where the Sacred Grove was in relation to Castle Town, assuming the capital hadn’t been picked up and moved in a few hundred years. So that could be a start.

As it turns out, you need not have bothered. You took another look at your stolen newspaper and read the front page article you had missed in your aforementioned blind panic.

“Princess Zelda and Hero Link travel to the Spring of Courage”

Under the title was a print block illustration of a young woman on horseback and wearing riding pants instead of a dress like you always saw your Princess Zelda in. She was followed closely behind by an equally young man on his own horse with the Master Sword slung over his back. You would never forget that blade hilt.

You read on and sure enough it talked about the Princess and her personal Knight Sir Link (followed by multiple titles to the point that you thought the article would only be about his titles, only finally naming him as) the Wielder of the Master Sword (Sword that Seals the Darkness yada yada). They were on a journey to the Spring of Courage, again for the Princess to pray in the cool waters blessed by Farore in order for the Princess to unlock her Sealing Magic in order to face the coming Calamity Ganon that was foretold to bring destruction to Hyrule.

Seems you had stumbled upon another troubled time in Hyrule’s history. Oh how jealous your Zelda would be. She loved history. It seemed though that this Era’s Zelda wasn’t as popular as yours. The newspaper went on about how much the citizens of Hyrule doubted this trip would amount to much. With some choice anonymous quotes about how the Princess had been praying for her powers to appear for 10 years now without even a flicker to show for it. Or how the Princess seemed more interested in Shiekah Technology than she did in saving her people. Ending with the article’s writing encouraging everyone to thank Hylia that Hyrule at least had her Champion Sir Link with the Master Sword to save them. Though they posed the question that perhaps the Hero's time could be better spent training new recruits or accepting newspaper interviews rather than escorting the Princess around everywhere she went.

It seemed like newspaper writers hadn’t changed between your era and this one. You remembered being outraged, sitting in Zelda’s personal study when you read the latest front page article scathing the Princess for her failure to have the reconstruction of Castle Town continue while the workers were on strike. All the while praising you as the getter-done Hero who single handedly went around righting wrongs in the Kingdom and how you could sort this all out in a day if the Princess would just left you off the leash. The Princess had laughed at that last comment and you blushed. Didn’t the article know that you had done all those feats after your main adventure by the order of the Princess? She was the one sending you everywhere. She was the one trying to solve all the problems. You were just her Gofer and proud of it. Princess Zelda insisted that you shouldn’t pay the newspapers any mind. In her Kingdom, the people would have the right to vent their frustrations, even if they were unfair.

Well you didn’t know about this ominously named Calamity Ganon or the Princess’s supposed failure to unlock her powers that were only meant to seal away said Calamity Ganon. (If that’s all it was needed for, why would it manifest sooner for everyone’s viewing pleasure? Unless the Calamity manifested itself as a bright sunny day, you didn’t see anything threatening Hyrule at the moment.) None of that mattered to you. What did matter was that wherever the Princess was, the Hero Link would be too, along with the Master Sword.

All you had to do was find them, boop the sword with your nose, and you could explain everything to them. They could help you find a way home. Maybe it would take longer than expected and you could busy yourself by helping to sort out this Calamity business with them. If your adventures and time spent as the Princess’s personal Gofer Hero had taught you anything, it was that everything always took longer than expected. So you might as well temper your expectations now.

Sure enough, it wasn’t going to be as simple as making your way over to Faron Woods to find the spring you thought they were at. The article had mentioned that in the interest of protecting the Princess of Hyrule from assassins, the details of when and where the Princess had left were published after she had left and returned. So that no one could intercept the Princess and her Knight and lay a trap. So they could be anywhere by now. Probably back at Hyrule Castle like the article implied, but hey, it was the closest thing you had to a lead.

So you went looking for more leads. You read the newspaper cover to cover. This must have been some kind of special edition or not a single Noble had been caught canoodling with a chamber maid that month, because the only articles being written were about the coming Calamity, how doomed all of Hyrule was when it did come, and what everyone was doing to prepare for it.

There was talk about the Army bolstering their numbers after the losses from the Lizalfo Campaign, what the Rito, Zora, Gerudo, and Gorons were doing to prepare their own forces, what the heck Divine Beasts and Guardians were and how useful they would be. What to know about the Champions of each of the races (apparently this guy Link liked food. And the Zora Champion Princess Mipha liked Link). The Chieftess of the Gerudo and Champion Lady Urbosa had opened up a non-Gerudo division of warriors made up of Vai volunteers from the other races, even though it seemed that all other races had unisex armies. And some Shiekah Scientist named Purah had thrown in an optimistic piece about all the benefits of repurposing Ancient Shiekah Technology could have if—and the editor had jumped to emphasize the iffy-ness of it all—they all managed to survive the Calamity because the Princess managed to unlock her Sealing Magic in time.

You tossed the newspaper back in the trash where it belonged (Honor the Three, by keeping Hyrule clean) and went to find a more helpful source of information. The general public.

You made your way up the roof and continuing to tight rope walk over the streets of Castle Town. Only this time you made sure to stop and do your best pigeon impression so that you could sneakily listen in on the mutterings of the common people. Not a lot of Hylians bothered to look up at the maneater sized wolf balanced on a banner rope 5 feet above their heads, but not a lot of Hylians had any good gossip to share either. Nothing that would help you anyway.

Someone was pregnant, someone else was joining the military, someone else had bought tickets to flee to Hytopia. As you moved closer and closer to Hyrule Castle though, the gossip became less personal and more focused on the Royal Family. It seemed that just as it was in your era, some servants opted to live in Castle Town instead of the servant barracks. Mostly when they had families or were senior enough to afford the luxury of their own place. So they had the latest tiddles from the insides of Hyrule Castle.

The King had brought in his old maid from his family estate into his private apartment one evening. The Princess’s tutor had made a pass at Lady Urbosa. General Alkala had come to stay and had thrown a temper tantrum. A local band had been invited to serenade for the Royal Family one Sunday Dinner. The Goron Head Chef had started giving the Hero Link private cooking lessons. The Royal Doctor was down sick with the last dregs of a stomach virus that was going around.

Oh, and it was all but fact that the Princess Zelda was in love with her Knight.

You nearly fell off the rope when you heard that one.

Supposedly it was becoming more and more obvious that the Princess had fallen head over heels for her Knight and he was not shying away from her affections. Word was that the Princess had hated her Knight for whatever reason when he was first assigned to her shortly after drawing the Master Sword. Then they went to Gerudo Desert and now she couldn’t get enough of him. Wherever they went, they walked together. Whenever it was just the two of them, the servants had noticed the Princess smiling. And one maid would swear in front of Hylia herself that she spotted the Knight Sir Link lean over to kiss the Princess. It was now almost a daily occurrence that the Princess and her Knight took a picnic basket with them to the outskirts of Castle Town. After her morning prayers they would hop on their horses and go out into the Wilds. Where supposedly the Hylian Champion would cook for the both of them delicious meals that the Royal Head Chef himself had said were worthy of his kitchens. No one knew exactly where they would go each day, again, for security reasons, but one of the night maids had mentioned that today’s picnic basket contained a block of aged goat cheese.

Perhaps Hylia did love you. Goat cheese? You could sniff that out even if you were human with a head cold.

You beelined it for the nearest exit from Castle Town. Hylia must have smiled on you again, because as soon as you got out of all the stenches and smells of Castle Town you picked up the scent of goat cheese.

You tore across the roads then and into the woods. Your clumsy paw work long forgotten. Oh it felt good to run as a wolf again. Your pumping legs, breathing lungs, the wind rushing through your fur. You were so nimble and quick, it was like you were flying. And the air. You weren’t even winded, but you breathed in deep. Something about the air in this era was fresher than yours. Cleaner. It invigorated you as much as the knowledge that the solution to all your problems was coming closer with every leap.

You hopped over a bog, crawled through some bushes, and there they were. In the dead center of a patch of woods outside of Castle Town, stood two horses, a brown one and a white one, grazing the grass in this untouched grove of the Wilds. The white horse wearing the purple and gold bridal of a Princess’s steed. Nearby was a tree log perched on its side with a cook fire smoking away off to the side and the Master Sword resting against the log. With the Princess and her Hero just out of your line of sight

You snuck closer to the sword, not wanting to spook the horses, when you figured out where the Princess and her Hero went. You could hear them, you see. You could hear them behind the log making the kind of noises you often heard while wandering about the hallways of your Hyrule Castle and discovered for the umpteenth time some combination of guard, servant, stableboy, maid, cook, and advisor hiding in an unoccupied room just going to town on each other. One time you could swear you heard three together in one room.

You blushed. You didn’t consider yourself a prune, but you were far less of a suave lady’s man than the papers made you out to be. You weren’t the one sneaking off to make out with pretty maids and guards like some rags liked to speculate. Not that you hadn’t had any interest in the girls. You could see it in their eyes back in your Castle Town that you could have your pick of the litter, for want of a better phrase.

You only had any real interest in a few girls though. Ilia was your first you had ever really considered. You both grew up in the village together. You both were the only kids your age for miles, so options for playmates were severely limited. Ilia always wanted to play House while you preferred venturing into the woods to find monsters guarding treasure. Eventually you compromised on playing Princess and Knight. Coincidentally enough. As you grew older, your leisure time shrunk and you both took on different jobs around the village, but you still remained friends. For many years, and you would swear Ilia had felt the same, you imagined that if you were going to marry any girl and do… that with her, it would be Ilia. Maybe if you had hung up your sword and shield after your grand adventure, that was how it would have played out. Except you hadn’t. You had received a call from Hyrule Castle to meet with the Princess for a job opportunity and you had accepted. Perhaps too hastily. As Ilia was now spending a lot of time with a certain horse ranch owner’s son from the next village over. He seemed like a nice guy though. Someone you wouldn’t mind being friends with, at least.

The second was Midna, and as much as you missed her, you weren’t sure if you were interested in her that way. She was your friend, your companion throughout your whole grand adventure, you would follow her anywhere. Even to the Twilight Realm, had she sent you an invitation. Though you thought of her in her imp form as more of a bossy older sister. Then again she had cropped up in a few dreams of yours in that taller form of hers. Dreams that would absolutely imply you wanted to meet her in a Castle supply closet. Then again again, you had a similar dream involving the late Zora Queen after a succulent dinner of salmon and squid, so you weren’t sure what truth there was to be found in dreams.

The last one… well it had to be the most fanciful of them all. And that was counting the one that had shattered the only mirror bridging your two realms together.

Princess Zelda. Your Princess Zelda. The one who had also been your ally in your Grand Adventure to save the Kingdom from Zant and Ganondorf. The smart, kind, composed, dignified, and alluring Princess of Hyrule who had assumed the responsibilities of Queen while her Father lay dying for some unknown sickness. The one you would never admit to how many dreams you had had about her.

She was your Princess for Hylia’s sake. You weren’t even a Knight. The Princess herself had declared it so. You were a pseudo knight, the Princess’s Gofer Hero, to not offend the actual knights that had spent their childhoods as pages and their teen years as squires. You had no complaints. You got to be helpful to the Princess without all the stuffy formality of Knighthood. More helpful than any Knight could be, in fact. It was an unofficial title, so the Princess could send you anywhere in an unofficial capacity. You could help people as you loved to do and get paid a tidy salary for your efforts too. It kept you close to the Princess too.

Many a nights, and especially after you returned from a task the Princess had given you, she invited you into her private study for dinner or tea. Late night coffee and cakes too as a special treat. Most every time you would talk about the state of Hyrule. You were her unoffical eyes and ears after all. The peoples across Hyrule opened up to you whenever you went to see them. Especially after you helped them as only you could. They were more honest with you than with Royal Officials. Which the Princess had told you was more valuable than all her spies or even herself paying these citizens a visit.

You loved those visits. The Princess was a bastion of warmth after the way the rest of the Castle treated you. The servants bowed and scraped at you like you were royalty and the soldiers scoffed when this goat herder managed to best them in sword practice, archery, and wrestling. All because you had a rank nobody in living memory understood. The Princess though, she always had a smile for you and you loved watching her ponder over solutions to the Kingdom's ails. It was a kind of beauty you couldn’t quite place. As unknowable as you imagined the Goddess Hylia must be if you ever got the chance to see her look down upon Hyrule and ponder how best to help her people.

Anyway, you might fantasize about Princess Zelda, but as a lowly goat herder, getting to court her and do… things with her was quite out of the question. Yet wasn’t that exactly what this Era’s Hero was doing? Enthusiastically too, by the sounds of it. Enthusiasm on both ends as well. The Princess seemed very receptive to whatever her Knight was doing to her without the involvement of her mouth. Mentions of Hylia were named along with all three of the Golden Goddesses. You didn’t know who the Seven Heroines were, but they were mentioned too before the Princess started babbling words you didn’t think were proper Hylian.

Apparently the newspaper was mistaken. Good food wasn’t the only thing that Sir Link liked to eat.

There was one final cry of, “Link!” And you tried to bury yourself in the earth below. To no avail. Brother to the people of Death Mountain though you were, you were no Goron.

Your ears drooped down, trying and failing to block out the gasps and pants from both Champion and Princess of the Hylians. Until those gasps turned to chokes and those chokes turned to sobs. And you finally registered that the Princess Zelda was crying. You lifted your head on instinct, the overwhelming urge to rush to the side of the crying Princess of Hyrule tugged at your every limb. For half a second you wildly imagined the Sir Link had hurt the Princess or had somehow coaxed her into such a compromising position. And then the next half of that second passed and you realized that anyone capable of pulling the Master Sword from its pedestal would never do such a thing. You knew it in your soul.

“Princess…” The Link of this Era said worriedly. Like he wanted to move the sun and moon if it would stop his Princess from crying.

“Oh Link…” Zelda sobbed, sounding ashamed of herself. “How can I be out here. Enjoying this. Enjoying you. When the Kingdom is terrified of the coming Calamity. And I have still not unlocked Hylia’s Sealing Magic.”

“Your Sealing Magic.” Link emphasized. “Your power, Princess. And you will. I know you will. No matter how many times I have to remind you, my answer hasn’t changed.” He said, sounding so patient when he said it, exactly like you sounded when you gave instructions to some of the young guards who asked you for fighting tips. No judgement, no smugness, just a desire to see their potential fulfilled that you had seen inside them. Apparently this Hero shared more with you than your first name.

“But what if I fail you?” Zelda cried. “The one person who believes in me? What if I fail you and you have to face the Calamity alone?”

“First of all, I am neither the first nor the last person who believes in you, Zelda.” Link said. “All the Champions, all the servants in the castle, people of every race and living in every corner of Hyrule believe you will unlock your powers when the time comes. No matter what some rat bastard editors write in their gossip rags.” Link said, defying said rag’s description of him as a man of few words. “Second, the prophecy says that I am to defeat the Calamity with the Master Sword and you will Seal it away? Fine. It never said one would immediately follow the other. So when I defeat the Calamity I will just have to cut off its limbs and blind its eyes. Leaving it crippled and lame for what? The next bloodmoon when all the rest of the monsters regenerate? That will buy you an extra month to unlock your Sealing Magic. And when I beat it a second time, that will buy you another month after that. Even if I have to fight the Calamity every day in order to buy you the time you need to master your Sealing Magic, I will do it. Every hour if I must.”

“Every minute?” Zelda giggled, highlighting the absurdity of her Hero’s declaration.

“Probably not. You’ll need to pick up the pace by then.” Link joked, and the Princess laughed.

“Oh brother, these two.” A voice spoke, except it didn’t actually speak.

You looked over after you remembered where you had felt this sensation before. This talking without speaking. What you could never hear while you were human. The language of animals.

“Quiet, Epona.” The white horse said, wearing the purple and gold of the Royal Bridal. “You let them be cute together.”

“Oh put a carrot in it, Daisy.” Epona said. “They take us out here on these short rides everyday where you can’t even get up a good sprint going and then they don’t even mate right. None of their bits go where they ought to and they could do this in the stables like the rest of the humans anyway. Keep us back in the stables for when the cute human with the sugar cubes comes by.”

“Why? So you can get fat, faster?”

“Fat, he says. Look whose talking? You’ve gotten bigger to match your hoofs after the Princess let you wear that jangly bridal.”

“Say your jokes all you want. I’m the steed of the Princess. I won’t be brought down to your level.” Daisy said haughtily.

“Ain’t no horse higher than the steed of the Hero. You wait until Ganon shows up and I’ll be running so fast it’ll send him back to next week. And then Link and I will take a victory lap all over Hyrule. With the Princess on his lap I’ll bet. I’ll carry them both all around for everyone to see while you’re stuck back in the stables.”

“I’ll be in the glue factory before I let the Princess go riding around Hyrule on your back!”

You forgot how amusing animals could be when you could understand their chitters and whines. Hylia, it almost made you wish you hadn’t returned the Master Sword when you did. You could use the Shadow Crystal to become a wolf whenever and see what the animals around Hyrule Castle had to say about everything.

That’s when a butterfly landed on your snout, you gave an inhale and you sneezed.

“Wazzat?” Epona said, looking directly at you while Link and Zelda cuddled behind the log. Epona came trotting over to you. “Hey, I can smell you there. Show yourself or I’ll trample you into next week.”

If only. You thought. Dreading what their response would be, you lifted up your ears and your tail over the tall grass.

“A wolf?” Daisy gasped.

“I thought I smelled something funny. You get out of here, wolf! My rider is Hylia’s Chosen, he’ll fuck you up.”

“Hey, I don’t want any trouble.” You said in animal-ese. “I just want to touch the Master Sword.”

“Daisy’s fat behind, you’ll touch the Master Sword.”

“Break your legs, Epona!” Daisy cried.

“What’s going on with the horses?” Zelda asked.

“You ain’t touching anything of my rider. So why don’t you take off back to wherever you came from, foreigner. Cause I can smell it on you. You are a long way from home.” Epona declared.

“Yes, I am a long way from home.” You growled. “And once I touch the sword, I’ll be able to get home. I once used the Master Sword a few hundred years ago.”

“You been eating weird plants, wolf? Only humans get to use the Master Sword and wolfs don’t live that long. Now scram!” Epona kicked up her legs. You hopped to the side to stay well clear of her, but that just drew attention to yourself. Especially when both horses started cursing at you with several racial slurs you hadn’t ever heard before, but you were confident they just sounded like whinnies to the two fully human Hylians in the grove.

“Wolf.” Link said as soon as he spotted you. In one quick motion he drew the Master Sword. The same one you would remember until your dying day. Even the sound it made at being drawn was familiar.

Sir Link took a defensive stance with the Master Sword to face you down.

Okay. You thought. This was an interesting development. You never thought you would ever see that blade pointed at you. Not unless you counted those dreams from earlier and the less said about that, the cleaner your soul would be. But would this be exactly what you were asking for? If Sir Link slashed at you with the sword, wouldn’t it transform you back without hurting you? You might just be risking your head if those papers got anything right about Sir Link’s skills with the blade. And his stance looked mighty practiced.

Better to play it safe.

You quit your growling all at once. You looked directly at Sir Link, and thought happy thoughts.

Tea with Zelda. The Kids cheering to see you had come home. Feasts at the Royal Palace. The Princess thanking you for all your hard work. Your friends from the Resistance. The Princess holding your cheek and making you promise to get a good night sleep tonight.

All of a sudden your tail began to wag. Quite involuntary of anything you could do. And because you might as well go big or go home (if only you could) you opened your jaw and let your tongue droop out to pant. The effect was instant and expected. Sir Link was quite disarmed and the Princess Zelda had a twinkle in her eye.

Wolf or dog, nobody could resist the playful puppy look.

“Oh Hell naw, Link! Don’t you dare fall for this foreigners tricks!” Epona said as she tried to stand between you and Link.

“Back off Epona, I’ll feed you later.” Link said as he pushed her off.

“You’ll feed me now! I know you’ve got apples in that magic bag of yours! That’s not the point though!” Epona whinnied.

You tilted your head. Looking less like a wolf now and more like a confused and loveable stray that just needed pets, treats, and belly rubs.

“Aww…” The Princess sighed, looking at you like she wanted to take you back up to the Castle and find the largest, fluffiest pillow in the castle for you to sleep on at the foot of her bed. “Lower your sword, Link. He can’t be dangerous.”

“He’s a wolf, your Highness.” Link said, reverting back to all business in the face of a threat against his charge.

“He’s too well trained.” Zelda reasoned. “Look at him, he’s domesticated.”

That gave you some ideas, but you couldn’t act on them unless the Princess did.

“Sit.” Zelda said experimentally.

At once you sat down on your haunches like a well trained Labrador.

“Good boy.” Zelda beamed, and you knew she must be related to the Princess Zelda you knew. You would know that smile from anywhere.

You woofed in approval.

“Roll over.” Zelda tried, and you rolled onto your back. Her old crying self from a minute ago seemed long gone. It might be way indirectly, but you were happy to help with that. Still, if she was going to go through all the list of tricks, this might take awhile. Sir Link didn’t seem convinced of your innocence either.

Princess Zelda then knelt down in front of you and offered you her hand. “Shake.” You placed your paw in her hand and she delightedly lifted it up and down.

“Good boy.” Zelda said as she began to scratch your head and all was bliss. Who cares about going back to your old timeline or seeing the love of your life again when this Princess here and now was scratching you behind the ears?

You did! Focus human brain!

Using far more will power than you would ever think was necessary, you turned away from the Princess and her magic fingers and beelined it for the Master Sword. Just one little touch. One tiny little touch and you could explain all of this. You curved right around Zelda and found yourself in front of Sir Link holding the Master Sword in front of you. Epona and Daisy were still muttering obscenities including call you a petting slut, but you didn’t care. You reached up like Link had asked you to shake and placed your paw on the Master Sword.

There was another flash of colors and another stretching sensation. You were transforming again. Back to a human! You could feel it. You could feel…hardwood?

You blinked and stared back at the face of Talo. Exactly as you last saw him three days ago. He jumped back in surprise. But the rest of the kids weren’t with him. Rusl was. Some shouting and hasty explanations would soon reveal the truth. You had been gone for three days, just like you had experienced. The kids had run to their parents after you had vanished and you had come back on Talo showing Rusl exactly what had happened.

You then made up a story about being sent to the Twilight Realm to get Talo out of your house. Only when you were alone did you tell Rusl, one of the Resistance fighters from your Grand Adventure, the truth.

He couldn’t make heads or tails of it either. He wasn’t magically inclined. You asked about any magic comets hanging in the sky, but the village hadn’t noticed any these past few days. Nor were there any strangers in cloaks lurking about. Nothing at all to explain why this time so many years later did your transformation send you forward and backward in time.

Rusl left you alone while he went to send letters to Castle Town to call off the alarm of your absence, and to tell the rest of the village that you were back.

You put the Shadow Crystal in a wooden box for now. You did not need a repeat of that, whatever it was. And you went to check up on your Pumpkin Soup. Your cauldron was empty. Perhaps one of the mothers took care of it while you were gone? You’d ask around later. Overcooked pumpkin soup was the least of your worries right now.

That three day odyssey had been exhausting in more ways than one. Weirdly though, it was the emotional draining that kept you up that night. Thinking about how the Link and Zelda in a future era were acting around each other. More than partners in facing a terrible destiny, they seemed to be partners in love. Absolutely smitten with each other as only younger people could be. Not that you were some over the hill 30 something, but you couldn’t help but be in awe of Sir Link. He was a few years younger than you, yet he seemed more sure of everything, including himself. Maybe it was because he had his Princess that he was sure of. Even when she wasn’t sure of herself. Oh what you wouldn’t give to have that kind of relationship with your Princess Zelda, as if she would ever feel the same way about—

The door to your home was ravaged by knocks before being swung open. You leapt out of bed. It was morning, the sun was just rising over the treetops and a brown haired woman in a black cloak had all but broken down your door with a rapier in hand. You reached for your own sword and shield when the woman spoke.

“Link?” And you finally recognized who it was as your brain finally cleared out the last of its fog. Princess Zelda, dressed in riding pants, a cloak, and carrying a sword. She looked wide eyed and haggard. Like she had spent all night riding through the forest to get to your house. Come to think of it, you thought you could hear several horses trotting outside along with the clank of plate mail. Had the Princess brought an entire battalion of soldiers with her?

“Princess?” You cried, trying to remember how clothed you were from last night when you felt your bones squeezed together in a sudden embrace. The Princess of Hyrule was hugging you, tightly.

“Oh Link! When I got the news I was so worried. You had gone missing in your own home. No one could give me any answers so I came myself to investigate. But you’re here. You’re safe. Thank the Three.” Your Princess babbled into your sweaty hair. You hadn’t had a chance to bathe yet after your ordeal. You prayed to Hylia that you didn’t smell like boar carcass and trashy newspaper ink. Though you doubted your luck would hold.

If that were the case, your Zelda paid it no mind. She simply held you at arm’s length in case you might vanish again without her anchoring you. She asked what had happened to you and you tried to explain everything. About your transformation, the future Hyrule, and the future Link and Zelda. You didn’t go into too many details about how close they were though. It seemed a little awkward to explain something like that when you had a girl in your own room keeping you within arm’s reach of all times. Had her lips always been that pale or was she just not wearing make-up? You couldn’t tell, she looked beautiful either way.

“Well what matters now is that you are safe.” Zelda said after you had finished, having no better explanations for what had happened than Rusl. “You are coming back to the Castle with me, tonight.”

“Do you have another assignment for me, Princess?” You asked, thinking it must be important if she came tearing across Hyrule to come get you herself.

“Assignment?” She repeated like it was some newly discovered bug she was expected to eat at a state function with all her least favorite diplomats in attendance. “I have nothing of the sort for you. I want you in the Castle where you will be safe and I can keep an eye on you. Bedrest, medical examinations, and 3 square meals a day. Is that understood?”

“Princess, I don’t need all—”

“Is. That. Understood?” The Princess repeated with the same firmness that Sir Link had used to reassure his Zelda. When he wanted to leave no doubt in her soul for argument.

“Yes, your Highness.” You nodded.

“Good.” The Princess said before kissing your cheek as casually as if you two were an old married couple. “Now pack your bags. We leave as soon as you are saddled on Epona.”

“Ah gah, yes, Ma’am.” You sputtered, wondering why your cheek felt so hot.

The Princess smiled, stood up, and turned to head out your front door. Only to turn back and face you. “Don’t keep me waiting, Hero.”

The Princess shut your front door and you never packed your luggage faster in your life. You were like a wolf with its meat.

Chapter Text

“THIS IS OUR LAST STAND!” You repeated just after the Garrison Captain whispered his words to you.

“HYRULE CASTLE HAS FALLEN!” You relayed to the soldiers standing in formation in the field below you. Just in case any of them had just woken up from a week long coma and were curiosity as to what all the commotion was about.

“AKKALA CITADEL IS SURROUNDED!” Or so the scouts had reported five days ago. So that situation might have changed.

“WE ARE ALL THAT STAND BETWEEN HATENO AND THE CALAMITY!” Us and this wooden fort wall that stood a story and a half tall.

“HUNDREDS OF GUARDIANS NOW DESCEND ON US LIKE A RIVER OF RATS! AND THEY WILL BE MET BY OUR THOUSANDS OF ARROWS!” Being fired by maybe twenty trained archers. You certainly weren’t among those ranks.

“THEY WILL BE MET BY THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF HYLIA STANDING FIRM ON THE LINE!” Because there was nowhere better to run to.

“AND THEY WILL BE MET WITH THE SWORD THAT SEALS THE DARKNESS AND THE PRINCESS HERSELF!”

And a fat lot of good she would be.

“I HAVE FULL CONFIDENCE IN YOU ALL! EVERY SOLDIER HERE WILL DO THEIR DUTY TODAY!” You shouted, finishing the Captain’s speech and letting your fellow soldiers return to their preparation for battle.

The Garrison Captain patted you on the shoulder for a job well done. He didn’t say much, given his raspy voice. Throat cancer damaged his vocal cords a decade ago. Though soldiers in your Garrison liked to tease each other by accusing underperforming soldiers of being the true cause.

“Geez, Jeb. You’re so shit at marching, the Captain foresaw your arrival 10 years ago and started chewing you out so much his voice cracked.”

It got a little boring stationed at Fort Hateno.

It certainly hadn’t been your first or last choice in postings when you signed up for the military. You were born in Hateno, just a day’s ride up the road. In a boring little farming town and in a boring little pumpkin farm. Your folks were good people, but it would be your older brother who would inherit the farm and his son after him. That meant you had to leave the nest and set out to find your fortune.

Well your fortune amounted to the Garrisoned Road Block a day’s ride down the road from your village. You signed up for the military, thinking they would cart you up to Akkala Citadel (or Fort Akkala as you thought it was called) or Hyrule Castle or some secret army base where they trained Hylian soldiers how to ride and fight like the Heroes of Legend. Instead they gave you a bunk and the very next day they had you doing push-ups by the side of the road under an oak tree while your older brother rode by in his pumpkin cart. On his way to Castle Town.

Your family rejoiced, thinking you could become a soldier and still be close to home. You just politely agreed and went back to your pumpkin soup.

Not that your life was completely dull. Backwoods road that it was, the road to Hateno got its fair share of monster attacks. You had spent years manning the cannons and pikes when Moblins, Lizalfos, and Hinoxes came charging up the road. And that was all before the Lizalfo Campaign. You got detached from the Garrison to join the Royal Army a day’s march west of your station into a hive of caves homed to more Lizalfos than anyone had ever seen in their lives. Sometimes you still dreamed about all the pitch and fire. When marching into the caves hadn’t proved effective, the new strategy had been devised to pour burning tar into the caves to smoke out the monsters or burn them alive.

You returned home to Hateno a hero. Imagining that this was what the Hylian Champion must feel like every day. To have the girls from your childhood who wouldn’t give your lanky self a second glance back when you were kids. Now they surrounded you and kept your hard milk jug topped up.

And your nephew… he thought you looked so cool with your banged up armor.

The night was an incredible one. As far as the rest of your friends were concerned though. You had taken Susie with the freckles up to a room that night and gave her a rummaging she would remember on her wedding night. You certainly hoped not. As all you really did was puke on her lap from all the drinks and she had the good graces never to mention it to anyone.

You still weren’t a front line fighter though. As much action as you had seen, you didn’t stand out enough to be promoted to another station. Maybe one in Hebra or any other corner of the Kingdom. As far away from Susie and her lap as possible.

You had gotten a promotion though. To the Captain’s Crier. Shouting the Captain’s orders for him. A battlefield promotion after his last crier was carried off by a Lizalfo in an ambush. You took up the shouting of the Captain’s orders and your battalion had managed an orderly retreat back out of the caves.

You returned back to the road block with new scars and with a Royal Decree for the entire Garrison to build the lowly road block up into a true fortress wall that could hold back a tide of monsters.

 Thus, here you were now. Relaying orders from your Captain. One week into the end of the world.

It had all started with a rare treat at Fort Hateno, a feast. It was the Crown Princess’s 17th Birthday after all. The year she would become a woman in the eyes of the law and of legal courting age as every man stationed around you was all too happy to point out. For such a milestone in the Kingdom’s history, instead of the usual special fruit cake being served in every Garrison with an extra ration of alcohol being provided, this year the King had decreed that all the stops be pulled out. Whole roasted turkeys, enough for every soldier, servant, page, squire, knight, and general were to be distributed to every Garrison in Hyrule. It was to be a 2nd Nayru Day Feast. The roasted turkey cuts were to be served with thick brown gravy, sweet and tart wildberry sauce, heaps of buttery mashed potatoes, green beans sweating with chicken stock, honey glazed carrots, piping hot pillow soft bread rolls, fresh green salads with bacon bits sprinkled throughout, and enough pumpkin pie to make you puke in some other poor woman’s lap.

You had no idea if every Garrison got the same quality of food that yours did. Especially the smaller observation posts high up on mountain peaks, but if there was one thing to be thankful for when posted near a farming village, it was that the farmer wives loved to volunteer their time and they knew how to cook hearty.

Overall, it wasn’t a bad life you led. It couldn’t be if you could laugh and eat this heartily with friends. You were only 20 years old, there was still time for you to be transferred to another post and see more of Hyrule. Maybe if the Captain got a promotion he would take you with him. Maybe you could come back one day and apologize again to Suzie. Really do all those things you said you did with her. Or just start over and try for a family like your brother had. Give your nephew a cousin he could play with at family gatherings.

And then you heard the rumblings. The continuous rumblings that you could have sworn were the sounds of rolling thunder if it hadn’t been a bright and sunny day. You and the rest of your Garrison looked up from your tables and climbed the walls to look northwest to the mountains blocking the view of Hyrule Castle. The black and purple smoke climbed over the mountain peaks though. They swirled and churned like your stomach and you could swear the smoke opened its maw and its roar split the Earth.

Then the Guardian that had been stationed behind your walls activated and attacked.

The Shiekah had been finding several of these octorock looking automatons buried all over Hyrule ever since the Calamity was foretold. You had always found them kind of cool the way they moved about on deceptively skinny legs effortlessly lifting their two ton bowl shaped bodies and bucket shaped heads around. The way those same heads swiveled as they would look at every person, dog, squirrel, and tree surrounding them whenever they were activated for testing. The idea was that as these Guardians were surrounding the Princess and Hero as depicted in some prophetic tapestry you had only ever heard of, these artificial rock monsters were to aid the Champions in their battle against the Calamity. So the decision had been made to spread the Guardians out to as many Garrisons as possible. Yours being a backwoods road block got only one of these Guardians who the soldiers had christened Gus.

Gus didn’t normally do much besides sit between the Barracks house and the wall and hold up the laundry lines, but he was a beloved member of the armed personal stationed at Fort Hateno.

“Morning Gus.”

“How’s your day going, Gus?”

“You’ve got some bird crap on your shoulder there, Gus. That’s good luck for the rest of us.”

No one was feeling very chatty to Gus now that he was blasting his fellow soldiers to chard husks with arrows of light firing from his eye. Or crushing men to death with his claws squeezing their breast plates. You had never seen metal bend like that before. And so slowly too.

You don’t remember who finally stopped Gus. You were hiding behind a cart when it happened. Trying to hold a fellow soldier down so that he would stop kicking his broken leg around. But Gus had been stopped. His legs shattered and his eye struck so many times that he exploded. Taking the woman who landed the deathblow with him. You never learned who it was for as soon as things calmed down the reports started flooding in. Relayed to you by flashing oil lanterns from the observation posts that dotted the mountain tops.

Castle Town was in flames. Great pillars of Ancient Shiekah markings had shot out of the ground around Hyrule Castle like the claws of a monster. More Guardians like Gus had been pouring out of them like wasps from a kicked nest. And every Fort and every Garrison replied that they were under attack from Guardians or monsters or both.

Scouts and riders were sent out to make sense of the frantic reports while the survivors of Gus’s betrayal started rebuilding the wall. A message was sent to the people of Hateno to block the roads, shut their doors, and wait for further word.

The next few days were a waiting game. Wait and hear the next bout of bad news. Hyrule Castle had fallen. The Lynelhart castle in Hebra had been turned to rumble. The Gorons and Zora were holding their roads, but were letting no more Hylian refugees in. Boats from the Akkala and Faron coast had been launched with Noble Families and their treasures aboard. The Gerudo Canyons were being caved in to buy time, only for the Guardians to climb right over the rubble. The Rito were flying strafing runs as far out as they dared, but had collapsed the bridges around their villages. And even the Akkala Citadel had been surrounded and was being peppered with Guardian beams from all sides. Anyone still trapped inside had no means of escape. Not even if they could fly as there was a new discovery of flying Guardians. You had seen a couple when they shot down a platoon of Rito trying to reach your fort for reasons you could only guess at.

Then yesterday came with the two worst pieces of news ever: Sir Link and Princess Zelda had arrived at your Fort late last night with no reinforcements and without the Princess having finally unlocked her Sealing Magic. And several scouts and observers reported that a few hundred Guardians were coming straight for Fort Hateno.

Sweet Hylia you were getting sick of turkey soup.

With nowhere else to go, nowhere they could be better defended anyway, Sir Link after having failed to defeat the Calamity when it arrived would now make a stand here. At your tiny fort that was meant to stop Hinoxes from attacking traders. It wasn’t the worst idea you had heard all week. Especially with the mountainside blocking either end of the Fort. It would funnel the Guardians into a chokehold where your cannons could fire at them from the safety of behind the walls. And then there would be nowhere to run. Sir Link would lead a detachment of soldiers on the other end of the wall to keep most of the Guardians right inside the imaginary box of artillery fire. While the Princess stayed on the walls with you and the Captain along with the archers to direct the battle. Well the Captain would direct the battle. You would shout his orders and the Princess would try not to get her womb blown off to ensure the continued line of the Goddess. Then maybe in 17 years her daughter could take a crack at this Sealing Magic and actually save you all.

If you sounded harsh it was because you were way too fed up with it all to be nice and respectful.

Ten Hylia damn years she had been sitting at alters and praying for these powers to unlock and here was what she had to show for it. And everyone had been oh so patient about it. Oh she’ll get it next time. Oh the next year will come around, just you wait. The Spring of Wisdom is what will do the trick. Once she turns 17 she can hike up the mountain and that will unlock it. No, you’re all wrong. The power to seal away the Calamity will appear once the Calamity does. Not before. Have faith.

Well if that wasn’t the Calamity that had been foretold it was doing a bang up impression of the real thing. As for faith, you had never been a fan. Faith in Hylia was all well and good when it was just a stone statue in your village that you had to bow your head too. When it involved sitting quiet for hours while a priest rattled off in some book about Hylia’s Light, well that’s when things started to chafe.

You didn’t normally mind the Monarchy so long as they stayed up in their Castles and didn’t bother you none. You’d take their money for your families pumpkins and you’d salute them as a soldier when they trotted by on horseback, but if they couldn’t do the job they said Hylia had sent them here to do well then maybe you should toss the Princess over the side and have the extra ration of bread for yourself that evening.

As for Sir Link, you had heard no end of praise for him and at the start of the battle you could see first hand that he was worthy of every bit of that praise. Except you had some gut feeling that he should have been at Hyrule Castle fighting that smoke monster and instead he was here, dancing around swarms of Guardians and cannon fire. So maybe not the best use of his time.

“SHIFT FIRE RIGHT! B-5!” You relayed the Grid Zone where your Captain had spotted several of the Guardians clustering together. There was an immediate lull in the rhythm of the cannon fire as the artillerymen shifted their cannons a few degrees to the right, then one by one they resumed fire. Cannonballs whizzed over your head so close you could swear you could reach out and touch one. They found their targets though. Flying overhead of the soldiers fighting in the fields, they crashed into the bucket heads of the Guardians behind the front lines. Knocking many of them senseless and exploding a lucky few in one good strike to the eye. But minute after minute, they just kept climbing over their dead, as endless as those Lizalfos had been.

The frontlines for your soldiers were a meat grinder. Explosions rang out in the front every time a Guardian managed to remain unmolested for 20 seconds or so. Soldiers huddled behind their shields and ducked low in the backrows while the men and women in front of them died in explosions or were picked up like seal plushies in a claw game and tossed about. Not even back on the wall were you safe. Guardian beams could reach impossible distances and all in a straight line. When they hit the walls, they rattled your teeth with their explosion. And when an explosion blew a hole in one of the parapets, an archer was sent flying backwards and landing hard on the ground below. What reservists remained had to drag him away to an open field that would serve as the hospital.

The only hope to be had was the flashes of light coming off the Master Sword every time Sir Link swung the Blade of Evil’s Bane. In one swing he could shatter a Guardian’s legs while it took several swings with your soldier weapons just to buckle its joints. He would cripple a Guardian and lay into its immobile bucket head like it was a dusty rug and your parents were within sight of the house and expected all the chores done. Except Sir had the good sense to leap out of the way of any exploding Guardian. Then he would find himself fighting another Guardian and another after that. Killing three Guardians for every one that your fellow soldiers managed to fell. Though artillery was obviously carrying the day while the archers on the wall could only stun the Guardians for the benefit of the soldiers. It couldn’t last though. You were a small fort, you didn’t have an endless supply of cannonballs or gunpowder. You could hear it as the artillery shells fell into a lull again as the men took special care in loading every shot to ensure not one was wasted.

“ROUNDS COMPLETE!” The artillerymen shouted up as the last of their cannonballs went sailing over the soldiers. You relayed the news as far as your voice could carry, trying not to choke up. Your guns fell silent and all remained were the sounds of soldiers fighting Guardians.

You know, a lifetime ago, you wanted to be Hateno’s town crier.

It seemed like such a fun job to an 8 year old. Get to shout at people on the street for an hour a day. Repeat the news from Hyrule Castle, the local Lord, the Mayor, and anyone else who paid for the privilege. Then go home and play games the rest of the day. Of course you eventually learned that your local town crier didn’t just work 1 hour a day. He worked for the Mayor and helped out with paperwork and other stuff. It had killed your interest in the career entirely. Your Mother had called it a shame. You always had such a loud voice as a baby and as a child. Yes, you could see the irony in your current job.

The Captain had you ordering every artillerymen to pick up their spears and shields, and prepare to join the forward operating soldiers. It was time for their last stand.

The shore of the sea of Guardians was finally in sight. If they could all just hold out a bit longer maybe they could think of—

“Ooh!” The Princess gasped, drawing your attention to her and back to the battlefield. She was staring at Sir Link, obviously, and she was rightly enraptured.

Sir Link had become a whirlwind. Without the constant barrage of cannon fire he could maneuver much more freely on the battlefield. Dodging around and around Guardians, slashing at their legs like he was a serial killer let loose on the dance floor. The Guardians couldn’t charge up one of their beams in time before Link shattered a leg with one swipe. Those that could, couldn’t get a clear shot in the cluster of Guardians that Sir Link had wrangled together. When they fired they hit Guardian bodies and shattered Guardian legs. The Hylian Champion had turned their overwhelming numbers against them. He left them with no choice but to grab at him with their tentacle leg claws, but Link was just. Too. Fast.

He sidestepped what claws he didn’t shatter with a swing of his sword, moving faster than any Hylian had ever moved before. The Guardians started exploding like the cannons had never stopped firing. No. Like the cannons had doubled in number. You had to look up the mountains to make sure reinforcements hadn’t arrived from Akkala Citadel. That all the races of Hyrule hadn’t regrouped and had come to surround the Goddess damned Guardians and turn the tide on the Calamity once and for all.

No such luck.

Cheers broke out among the soldiers on the front lines. They began to notice Sir Link’s miracle and they roared their approval. Their dwindling order vanished in place of euphoric mania. If Hylia had indeed sacrificed her immortality to live as a mortal with a warrior, this was who she would chose.

“GO LADDIE!” The Captain bellowed, tearing his throat as you had never heard his shouts in all your years under his command.

“GO LINK!” The Princess cried, sounding with the regal voice of the future Queen of Hyrule.

You took up the cry of encouragement, though you could summon no words. Just a roar of raw emotion as the Hero of Hyrule cut off the last leg of the last Guardian and flew like an eagle, plunging the Master Sword straight through its ceramic eye.

The explosion was drowned out by the cheers around you. The artillerymen who had rearmed themselves now crowded the parapets with the archers, the Captain, the Princess, and yourself. All to see the Hero of Hyrule walk towards you, more concerned with effortless sheathing the Master Sword on his back, than of the last Guardian exploding atop the mountain of Guardian husks.

Sweet Hylia, you could hear the clank of the swords’s crossguard against the lip of its sheath even over all the cheering.

What you couldn’t hear was whatever Sir Link said to the soldiers out in the field with him. They tried to surround him, but he made pushing motions with his free hands and directed them back behind the walls. Normally only the Captain could order the gates opened or shut, but who cared about that right now? Certainly not the Captain.

The injured were carried back behind the safety of the walls while the dead were stripped of their weapons and shields. Given time you might organize a burial detail, but that would have to wait if monsters or more Guardians were on the way.

You were about to head down the wall to thank the Hero in person when a figure scrambled up the wall and hopped onto the parapet. You turned around and there was Sir Link. Sitting on his haunches in front of Princess Zelda and looking concerned.

“Are you okay, Princess?” Sir Link asked in an impossibly casual tone given what he had just achieved. Never mind that he had scurried up the wall like a cat just to ask her more quickly.

“I’m fine.” The Princess breathed, looking at Sir Link like he was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. Princess or not, she needed to get in line. “That was incredible, Link. How are you?”

“I’m fine.” Sir Link said, though neither of them looked fine to you.

They both looked like whatever little sleep they had gotten this past week had been under a tree and floors of mud. The Princess especially had her white prayer dress waterlogged and covered in sweat, dirt, and a few splatters of blood that you suspected weren’t hers. The closest thing either of them had to a bath these past few days was probably the rain clouds that passed by three days ago. Were it not the end of the world, the Captain might have ordered you to draw the Princess a bath. Seeing her look of concern throughout the battle though, perhaps you had been too hard in your thoughts on the Princess. Perhaps she would have had the good graces to refuse such a bath.

“Sir Link, that was the most incredible thing I have ever seen.” The Captain spoke in his usual raspy voice. “If we—When we make it out of this I will see you decorated, Sir Link. If I have to become a General I will see you decorated. Though I dare say you’ll beat me to that honor after all this.” He laughed.

“Thank you, Sir.” Sir Link said before returning his eyes back to the Princess. You didn’t know why, but Sir Link reached up and brushed a strand of the Princess’s hair behind her ear.

Um, what was he doing? Here and now? In the middle of a war?

The barrier was broken though and he and the Princess surged forward. Quick as a flash their arms wrapped around each other as they hugged. Only then with the Princess’s arms around his neck did the Knight finally let loose a weary breath. He buried his nose in her neck and you could hear him breathe in her scent.

You blushed. The Captain just looked up at the sky with a grin on his face. This was something private that no one should ever do in public. Not out off shame, but out of rights. No one else should have the right to see something so tender between two other people. You had to turn away, but not before you noticed Sir Link squeezing the Princess’s golden hair in-between his fingers.

Well that tears it. If you lived through the Calamity you would march right up to Suzie’s front door and propose to her in front of Hylia and her Grandfather.

“MORE GUARDIANS!” One of the spotters with a telescope shouted. He has his eyeglass pointed up at the remaining observation posts and was translating the blinking lights into a message. “THEY’RE COMING!”

You didn’t see, as you were looking up at the mountain to read the message with your own eyes, but Sir Link gripped his Zelda a little tighter.

The Captain had you order the soldiers back into formation. What men could still run took the vacant ranks of front line soldiers while men who could not walk anywhere were helped up to the walls to man bows and pikes. Two artillery teams were tossing open boxes looking for overlooked cannonballs while a third team started piling up cannonball sized rocks and debris. Amid all the scrambling, Link and Zelda stood still in each others arms. Trying to drag out this one moment into years.

You couldn’t blame them. You would rather watch the Princess and her Knight tenderly hugging each other from the sideline for a decade straight before you watched a single Guardian scurry back up your road.

You watched as Sir Link, ever the dutiful Knight, was the first to pull away, his hands still holding onto the Princess’s forearms like she was the handrail over a steep bridge. The Princess looked at Sir Link like he was about to do something foolish, like jump off the edge.

“I have to go.” Link told her.

“No you don’t.”

“You know I do.”

“Just come back to me.”

“Always, Princess.”

You turned to the battlefield and tried to focus on the approaching wave of Guardians crawling towards the Fort. You couldn’t tell if this was a smaller amount of Guardians or not. At this point it might be smarter to just cave in the canyon and block it off from the outside world forever. But there were no more cannonballs to fire. Then again there was still plenty of gunpowder…

There was a smack of lips as the Knight and the Princess finally separated. Something thin caught the light in-between them and they spread apart until just the tips of their fingers held onto each other.

“Sir Link!” You snapped, not wanting to interfere with true love, but wanting the Master Sword Wielder to get a move on. They dropped their hands and Link leapt down to the battle ground below. You and the Princess watched as Link calmly moved back into position with the Master Sword drawn. Navigating around still smoking craters in the earth, Guardian husks, and your fallen comrades. What was once a flat, open field just an hour ago had become an uneven, alien hellscape.

 The soldiers formed up behind Sir Link, but the Captain had you tell them to spread out. Apparently he thought that a phalanx has proved its uselessness in the last battle and was going to take a page out of Link’s book. Focusing on mobility rather than failing at being a solid, immovable object.

It appeared the Guardians had a new strategy as well though. As they charged, they spread out into a line as well. Sir Link raised up his sword, as well as the rest of the soldiers. Princess Zelda watched him carefully. Then the Guardians suddenly stopped at a distance away from Link and the soldiers. 10 Guardians stood in a perfectly uniform line, the lines running up their bodies glowed the eerie purple and their eyes flashed as they began changing up their beams. Right at Link and the soldiers who stood among the mountain of Guardian corpses.

“FIND COVER!” You bellowed. The soldiers all scrambled left and right. Looking for sturdy Guardian body parts to hide behind as the red laser points danced across their chests. Men and women tripped over each other to find cover, some pushed others out into the open to make room in what shade they could find. The air hummed with energy as the Guardians charged up their beams longer than you had ever seen before. Like winding a spring on a time bomb.

Sir Link started running, not to cover, but straight at the Guardian line.

“What’s he doing?” The Princess demanded to know. You had no answers for her and even less time to waste.

Sir Link ran pell mell straight at the nearest Guardian, scampering up Guardian corpses and hopping over Guardian tentacles. The Master Sword trailing behind him as the first laser sight focused on his chest. He still had fifty yards to go.

“He’ll never make it!” The Princess cried.

“ARCHERS!” You bellowed, not waiting for orders. “AIM FOR THEIR EYES! STUN THEM!”

A dozen bows arched towards the red sky and a dozen arrows were loosed. The wind had picked up. The arrows sailed over the Hero’s head and struck the heads of the Guardians. Each of them plinked off the stone helmet of the Guardians without one striking an eye. They just kept flashing red.

“AGAIN! FIRE AT WILL!” You shouted, though the archers were ahead of you. Again and again they fired, but there was no getting over the distance between themselves on the wall and the fist sized targets 100 yards away. Some soldiers saw what was happening and jumped out of cover, waving their arms, trying to attract a few of the Guardians beams away from the Hero.

Link still had 10 yards to go.

The Guardians fired. Their beams let loose once, twice, three times. Each time, dozens of explosions went of simultaneously. Sir Link dodged the first set, that blew up the space behind him, kicking up dirt and leaving behind a cloud of dust. The rest of the explosions came closer towards Sir Link. Kicking up more debris and more dust until he was completely obscured. By the Three, he was gone!

“NO!” Zelda cried, scaring you out of your boots, but not because of the raw tearing emotion coming out of her throat. By what you saw. Just for an instant, a small blink of the eye just long enough to be unmistakable. Impossible to think it was a trick of the light, not with the sky still as red as blood. For a moment, the Princess, from her hair to her skin to her tattered white dress, had glowed gold.

You stared at her, having never looked properly at the Princess in your life. What little chances you had ever gotten to see her, you had averted your eyes. What was the point? She was on another pedestal from you, elevated up so high you might as well try to properly look at a cloud as it passed overhead. She was the Goddess Reborn they said, just as her Mother was and her Mother before her. It all sounded like hogwash to you, even as a child. Yet that glow you had seen with your own eyes could be nothing else. No other explanation was possible. It wasn’t like seeing a ghost in an abandoned house and suggesting it was a curtain in the wind or creaks from the wooden beams settling. Any trueborn child of Hyrule who had seen what you had just seen would know it in their soul to be true. The Princess had glowed with the light of the Goddess.

You looked around, certain that you would see other eyes looking at the Princess and you would know what the look on your own face had been. Yet no one was looking at the Princess. All the soldiers in the field and all the archers on the walls were watching for Sir Link. Even the Captain had not seen the beacon of hope that had been so briefly lit.

You might laugh. What were they staring at Sir Link for? Did they not feel it at that very moment that Hyrule’s victory was at hand? If the Princess would just flash gold again, this time they would see!

But what had caused it? Ten years of prayer had not summoned it forth. The Calamity’s appearance had not summoned it forth. How to make the light appear again? You pondered this for nary a moment when the solution went off just as the Princess had. Sir Link. His kiss for her. Their goodbye. How worried she was for him now that he has vanished.

Love.

The Princess’s love for her Knight. The Hero Sir Link. You knew it to be true, as sure as when you saw the Princess glowing gold.

You had once wanted to convey all the important news of the Kingdom to the citizens of Hyrule.

“Princess, you’re glo—”

Boom!

The world twisted itself like a candy wrapper. Your ears buzzed. You felt some terrible blow to your back. Suddenly you were on the ground, looking up at the shattered parapet where you were standing. A Guardian beam had blown it open. Some lone Guardian among the horde had fired a wild shot indiscriminately at the wall and had found its mark. Probably its what knocked you back. The Princess was still up there, looking unharmed, but shaken. Because of course she was! She was the Goddess reborn!

The glow, the glow, that golden glow! It had engulfed her whole body. It raised up her hair! It was her power! The Sealing Magic as was foretold! She had unlocked it! And Sir Link had the Master Sword! The Key and the Lock! It was love! Love was the key! The Princess’s love for her Knight was the key to her unlocking her powers! It would save them all!

All of this you babbled to the world. Crier that you were, you wanted the whole Garrison to hear. All of Hyrule to know. But they didn’t listen.

Soldiers ran to your side and asked you pointless questions. You couldn’t hear them over the ringing in your ears. You tried to point at the Princess, but something was wrong with your voice. Your jaw, was it broken? And your teeth? Had you bit off your tongue in the explosion? You didn’t know. But it dawned on you that you had the most important message in all of Hyrule to deliver and you could not speak.

Nothing on Earth was deep enough to describe your sinking feeling.

Your fellow soldiers reached under your armpits and dragged you away. Away, away from the Princess, from Salvation! Please, you begged silently, trying to look at either of them, but you couldn’t quite twist your neck. At least let you tell the Princess. She could focus on her love. Sir Link could be recalled back to the Wall. They could be together and that would save all of Hyrule! Let them be Queen and King if that’s what it took! Let the Noble Houses rebel and call their love an abomination of the class divide! You would rise up yourself and defend their love on the Walls of Hyrule Castle, for there would be a Hyrule to fight over then!

The soldiers dragged you a 100 yards behind the lines. Far enough that your voice could not reach the Princess, even if it worked. They laid you in a field with the rest of the dead and dying. All moaning and groaning about their broken bones and lost limbs. The doctors and nurses listened to their pathetic whines as they worked. Their hopeless prayers for their Mothers and Lovers and their lamentations. They wouldn’t listen to you though. They couldn’t. They looked right down at you and the doctor standing over you told them to move on. They had to work on someone they could help. Your eyes followed them for as long as they could. Your neck still wouldn’t turn. Did it hurt? You weren’t sure. Everything was turning fuzzy and dim. The sky was as red as ever though. Even the clouds looked like dark scabs drifting over the world. You looked up from your perspective and noticed the tree off the side of the road. A tree you were very familiar with ever since your first day in the military.

They had left you in the same spot where your brother had watched you do push-ups from atop your family’s cart.

Hylia, you thought. Sweet Hylia. Save us all. Show us your light through the Princess again. Please.

A beam of blue light streaked overhead, but it was not Hylia’s light. You knew that. It was a Guardian beam, and it blew a hole in the side of a mountain far off to your side. Were the Guardians getting closer? Was Sir Link still okay? Was anyone? You couldn’t tell. Just like you couldn’t tell anyone that all would be well. All you could tell was that the blood red sky was growing darker and darker.

Oh Hylia. You thought. I cannot see your light.

Chapter Text

The Royal Guards were absolutely useless.

Oh sure, they could stand still in their armor sets with spears and shields ready for the calvary to come charging up the Castle walls or down the hallways. They might even be good for spotting an army marching on the Castle at night. If the army was dumb enough to march with torches held aloft. No, the threats against her Royal Highness the Princess was from evil smarter than the average Bokoblin charging headlong into stone walls. Though not by much.

Yiga, those traitors to the crown and country. Former Shiekah turned over to serve an ancient evil wizard king and restore him to life. Though not too many former Shiekah these days. They had been wiped out in the Great Purge 15 years ago. As if the Shiekah could have any greater shame than raising those traitors. Said traitors managed to murder the Queen.

You were too young to fight during those dark days. You only remember that year as having nothing but funerals back to back. You were told though that the newly crowned King had never been in such a fury. His love, the Queen, the mother of his only daughter. His grief had been to lead the Armies of Hyrule on a conquest across the Gerudo Highlands. Nearly coming to blows with the Gerudo themselves in his anguish. But Justice had come for the Yiga. They paid for the Queen’s life dearly. Now what remained were rumors that the bulk of the Yiga forces were vagabond Hylians and criminals trained by the dregs of traitor Shiekah in their ways.

You remembered your Father from that year. Sunk so low in a bottle of rice wine that he suggested that the whole of the Kakariko Village should fling themselves from the cliffs as recompense for their responsibility in the Yiga’s existence.

Sober heads prevailed though, and a new resolve was found in your village to serve.

So here you were. One of many female Shiekah tasked in guarding her Highness Princess Zelda as she slept. You and your sisters-in-arms, hand-picked by Lady Impa, the head of Princess Zelda’s Guard. All of you were stationed all around Hyrule Castle to watch for and intercept any Yiga that slipped past the stone walls. Tonight, you were stationed in the focal point of the Guard. The roof overlooking the Princess's balcony bridge. From here you had an unobstructed view of the glass door leading into the Princess’s room. Though the curtains were drawn and you could not see inside. You knew for a fact that two of your sisters were stationed outside the Princess’s door itself to challenge any who dared pass by her door.

Contrary to popular belief. Sir Link was not the sole protector of the Princess. As impressive as he was, the man needed to sleep as much as anyone else. Impa also needed her sleep, though she was paraded around as the Shiekah branch of the Princess’s Guard. More an administrator who stood next to the Princess at formal events as a reminder that the Princess was protected by Shiekah as well as Knights. Sir Link guarded the Princess during the day, and you guarded her during the night. Which led to many…peculiar insights into the elusive Princess Zelda.

You were not a maid to Princess Zelda. It wasn’t your privilege to help her dress and ready herself for bed. Still, you weren’t without blessings. Take tonight for instance. The Princess had bidden good night to her servants and fancied herself to a glimpse of the full moon. You couldn’t believe your good fortune when the door to her room clicked open and out came her Royal Highness. Hair long, loose, and flowing in the breeze just as her white night dress. She walked across the bridge as gracefully as a ghost. Sweet Hylia she absolutely glowed in the moonlight. Silver and divine as befit the Goddess reborn.

The Princess did not see you. Brilliant as she was, she was not Shiekah trained. You hid in the shadows, quiet as a cat, still as a gargoyle. You could watch her with complete freedom.

You were diligent in your guard duty. You stood vigilant over the Princess’s balcony in every conceivable form of weather. From the humid heats of summer to piling snows of winter. Tonight was perfect though. Cloudless with a full moon. The whole of Hyrule Castle lit up like luminous stones against the moonlight. A beacon of white amid a black sea. Yet the Princess shined even brighter in your eyes. Then something else caught your eye. Something in the shadows.

Movement. You saw movement. Something just ducked underneath the bridge. Right under the bridge. Whatever it was had to still be hanging underneath the bridge. You only caught a glimpse of it, but it was too big to be a squirrel, a monkey, or a bird.

Yiga.

You slid down the side of the castle wall as quiet as a breeze. The Princess didn’t even react as you dropped past her eye level and down to the underside of the bridge. Your fingers caught brick to stop your fall and you hung in the air like a bundle of garlic. The bridge underside was pitch black without the moonlight. You went wide eyed. There was not a stone out of place, the whole space was empty. You heard the tap of boots on stone and your heart raced. It was coming from the top of the bridge. The Yiga had given you the slip like kids chasing each other around a kitchen table.

You scrambled back up your face of the bridge. Your dagger at the ready. You couldn’t be too late. You wouldn’t let anything happen to the Princess. Your head shot over the railing and you nearly let out a gasp.

The Princess stood at the opposite railing, looking up at the man perched on stone railing next to her. He was lean and athletic with dirty blond hair you would recognize even at nighttime. Especially with his sky-blue tunic and famous sword strapped over his shoulder.

It was Sir Link of Hateno, the Hylian Champion, heart throb of Hyrule, and Princess Zelda’s Knight. Meeting her in the dead of night on her balcony.

He looked at you and gave a few quick hand signals in Hylian Sign. Meant to non-verbally calm you and confirm his identity. All without the Princess even noticing. You raised an eyebrow but signed back that you understood.

Regulations were clear. In order to not disturb the Royal Family's slumber, all Shiekah Guards were to remain as silent as possible and remain unseen unless absolutely necessary. A policy put in place by the Princess’s Grandmother, who found Shiekah crawling all over her rooftops in the dead of night to be creepy.

As quietly as you came, you went back to your post. Keeping a close eye on Sir Link and the Princess at all times. Whatever this was, the Knight didn’t mind you seeing it. Or he just knew you would see it regardless. Either way, your shift just got a whole lot more interesting.

The Princess and Link started chatting. The Princess leaning casually on her parapet while Sir Link took the opportunity to sit down on the stone. Like they were two teenagers from Kakariko meeting up by a tree in a secluded part of the woods. How bold to instead meet up on the Princess’s balcony.

You caught snippets of their conversation from this distance away. Mostly about how Sir Link managed to escape the garrison at this hour and what he had to eat there.

The Princess in turn started talking about a book she had been reading before bed. A real page turner, judging by the title. A History and Study of Botanical Science in the Hateno Provence. Truly, Sir Link’s heroic qualities were unmatched as he was able to sit there and look interested as the Princess went on a lengthy summarization of the book’s contents. You certainly wouldn’t have managed it.

And so it went for the next few hours. The two of them, chatting together, on the balcony. Like they hadn’t just spent the day together or the previous week traveling together.

Oh how you wished you could joined them on the balcony. Both of them. You hadn’t just caught glimpses of the Princess during your time as her guard. You had also spotted Sir Link unaware. Times when he was training in the yard. Practicing his form with such speed and precision you had only ever seen with a katana. Such dedication and focus from a boy just a few years younger than you. His arms lean and defined with beads of sweat and veins running from the back of his hands on up to his shoulders. And that dedicated look he got as he was focusing. And then he would be sent off to fight a pack of Lynels or a Gleeox and you would be reminded that he was not a boy, but a man. You were so envious that the Princess had the Knight’s undivided attention. And he her’s.

Sir Link pointed down with his finger somewhere near the horizon and Zelda recoiled in surprise. You hadn’t caught what he said, but the Hero smiled at the Princess to reassure her before he opened up his magic pouch. In an instance, he pulled out something that made you go wide eyed. A glider. One of the personal gliders that the Shiekah used to traverse long gaps or land safely from great heights. Link held the Glider above his head and you could see the Master Sword design on the fabric. A gift from Lady Impa after Sir Link was assigned to be the Princess’s Knight.

Was he going to show off to the Princess? Leap from her balcony and land safely in her garden? Maybe do a loop-de-loo—oh sweet Hylia, the Princess was climbing onto his back! He was taking her for a ride. In her nightie. With a 100 foot drop between her balcony and the grounds.

Sir Link leaned forward to let the Princess find a comfortable spot to climb up on his back. Her dress flowed in the breeze and a blush crawled its way onto your face that was no doubt contorted into a look of horror.

You wanted to shout at them. What on Earth was Sir Link thinking? This wasn’t a lonely Shiekah girl far from home he was taking on an adequately exciting night time stroll. That was the Princess of Hyrule. He couldn’t risk her life by flying. Nothing for it, you had to shout. You breathed in and he jumped.

The Knight with the Princess on his back leapt off the stone balcony and fell straight down. Down, down, down like a rock. For the length of one heartbeat, then two, then the wind caught the sail. Your heart finally beat again when you saw Princess Zelda and her crazy Knight gliding through the night sky.

Your worries weren’t over though. You were in charge of guarding the Princess, that meant following her like a ghost. You moved without thinking, you kicked off the stone tower and pulled out your own sailcloth. The gliders were designed for one rider only, so yours caught the wind in a snap and you tailed after the Hylia Blessed Duo like a paper bird.

Despite your panic, it was always invigorating to fly. The wind sailing past you, the sinking feeling in your gut, your feet dangling over nothing. Nothing else compared to it. You kept your eyes fixed on the Hero’s glider though. They were flying further away than the gardens right below Zelda’s balcony. To some other gardens? Maybe the rooftops of the guard towers? Where else would the Knight take the Princess?

The winds seemed to be favoring the duo though. They caught an updraft and rises higher in the sky. Soon you caught the same updraft. Only then did you notice the light coming from another balcony. The King’s balcony.

You were a good distance away, but even you could see the silhouette of the King standing in front of the low flames of his fireplace. Now of all times he had to go out stargazing. You held your breath. If he spotted you, he would want a full report of why you were gliding. And more importantly, why you let the Princess leave her bedroom in the dead of night. You went still as a statue, trying to look casual as you glided past the King’s field of view.

You didn’t hear any alarms being raised, but that didn’t mean much. You needed to catch up to the duo immediately and get the Princess back in bed before anyone bothered to check up on the Princess. By the Three, why didn’t you report in that you were tailing them?

Only when you were well out of sight of his Majesty did you breathe a sigh of relief.

The Duo banked right and you followed suit. They finally landed on the roof of one of the guard towers, but Sir Link just kept running along the brick tiles before he leapt off the other side and kept gliding.

They made it all the way past the outer castle walls and over the river to the woods outside of Castle Town. You rolled to a stop, wanting to kiss the ground, but more over you wanted to kick Sir Link’s ass.

What was he thinking? Taking the Princess out here? It would take them both hours to sneak the Princess back to her bedroom. The regular guards might be useless, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t get lucky. If Impa got wind of this, you would be guarding the outer perimeter for months. With nothing to look at but empty fields.

You drew in air again, ready to break your silence and give the Princess and Hero of Hyrule a piece of your mind, when you noticed that Sir Link and Princess Zelda were kneeling by a tree with Sir Link pressing a finger to his lips.

Your curiosity got the better of you. You had to see what all this fuss was about. You watched just out of sight from the Princess as Sir Link climbed up the tree, slowly, carefully, like a cat. He reached a hole in the tree where an owl might nest and peaked in. Satisfied, he turned back towards the Princess and offered her his hand. She eagerly accepted and with the strength of a Shiekah Warrior, Sir Link lifted the Princess up with one arm until she could cling to his back again. She peered into the hole and nearly fell backwards; her hands had shot up to cover her mouth in delighted surprise. You had no idea what this was about as there was no advantage point for you to look in yourself.

The Princess then did a weird sort of contortion. Trying to reach into Sir Link’s back pouch while keeping enough of a grip on him to not fall off. With her left arm wrapped over Link’s shoulder and her hand on his chest, her left leg wrapped around his waist, and her right leg wrapped around his left leg, all to let her right hand rummage in his bag. Like a monkey on a tree. All in her flowing white nightie. It was… quite the position to see the Princess in. And wrapped around her personal Knight. You hadn’t realized they were that close.

Finally, the Princess retrieved what she had been looking for. Her Shiekah Slate, the Ancient Shiekah technology that the Princess had fallen in love with ever since it had been unearthed by the excavation teams last year. Not a week had gone by without you noticing the Princess tinkering with the Slate after bedtime.

She wasted no time in readjusting herself on Sir Link to snap a picture of the contents of the tree. The Slate clicked and flashed a light. You couldn’t see inside, but the Duo froze, as if afraid to wake whatever was inside.

Carefully, Sir Link climbed back down, careful not to make a sound. The Princess held onto him even tighter. You could see her vibrating with excitement in the moonlight. They touched down and only then did they split apart far enough so that they both could look at the Shiekah Slate.

You snuck up behind them, determined to get to the bottom of this. Well, you snuck up behind the Princess. Her Royal Highness was quite oblivious to your presence. Sir Link wasn’t fooled, but he didn’t stop you either. He even casually tilted the slate back to give you a better look. Quite the considerate gentleman.

You gasped. It was a nest of monkeys!

Three monkeys to be exact. A mother and her two babies resting in her arms. Oh if it wasn’t the cutest thing you had seen for ages. All three had their snow-white fur and pink scrunched up faces. The Princess had captured a perfect photo of their sleeping faces. You would recognize a couple of Faron Monkeys anywhere. You loved them back when you were growing up. They were native to the Faron Woods and other jungle areas. Your family had taken you to the Faron Woods to train you when you came of age and the four of you had spent weeks getting harassed by these funny little guys. You had never laughed so hard until you had seen your Father chasing a monkey up a tree.

What in Hylia’s name was this little monkey family doing all the way up here? So far north from their native habitat? Were they brought to Castle Town by a poacher to sell to some Nobles? Did they migrate up here on their own? Your mind raced before being halted by the Princess finally noticing you.

Both she and Sir Link were staring at you. You jumped back into a kneeling position. The Princess had looked mortified to see you.

“It is okay, Princess.” Sir Link spoke up for the first time in your life. You were just as astonished to learn that he knew your name when he introduced you to the Princess. “She has been following us since we left the castle.”

“Forgive me, Princess. I did not mean to startle you.” You explained. “I have always loved monkeys.” Figuring that the awkward truth might be to your advantage here. You hadn’t had a single conversation with the Princess in your life, but even you knew of her love of research and general kind nature. She would sympathize. “I couldn’t resist.”

Sure enough, the Princess broke into the smile at the mention of your interest in anything that crawled or was old. She startled babbling to you about the particular species of monkey and how adaptable they were even outside their native habitat of Faron Jungle. Branching off into what their diet would alter into this far north and then speculating into where the Father might be at this hour. Assuming he hadn’t been eaten by predators.

Sweet Hylia, this girl could yap. You had never heard someone talk so much to you since your school days. When your teachers used to drone on for hours about the reigns of Queens and Kings of Hyrule without the need of Heroes to draw the Master Sword. All the wars being fought between the Rito and Gerudo and Hylians. The territory disputes between River Zora and Ocean Zora. The times when nobody was a friend to the Goron over their irresponsible mining leading to magma rivers pouring into the territories of other races. And the Shiekah and their dark history involving a forgotten location known as the Shadow Temple. Boring. All of it.

Perhaps you liked the idea of Princess Zelda more than the actual Princess herself. Oh she was beautiful to look at, but she was decidedly not your type. You liked brainy, just not chatty. Speaking of…

Link placed his hand on the Princess’s arm. “Okay, Princess. We must get back. It will take a while to sneak you back into the Castle.”

“Oh one more photo, please. I want to get a better shot of the other baby’s face.”

“We will come back tomorrow. It won’t just be our hides on the line if your Father catches wind of this.” Link said, looking over at you.

Trust a Knight for his chivalry. Thank the Three your mask covered your cheeks.

“Alright, fair point.” The Princess said and she thanked you for your indulging her whims. You lied and said it was no trouble.

“Now I can carry the Princess up the walls if you can keep a watch of the parapets above us.” Link said, assuming command. You might have argued that per the terms of the Princess’s Guard, all Shiekah were in command during sleeping hours, but as that rule was meant to apply to Castle Guards and Sir Link was the Sword’s Chosen, he could pull rank right back at you.

You were all wasting time. The three of you got to walking back up to Hyrule Castle. It would be a long hike and an even longer climb back up the three walls and up the tower to the Princess’s bedroom, but at least you weren’t the one who was supposed to be asleep.

You hung back to guard the flank and let the Princess and Sir Link enjoy a moonlit stroll. Within minutes it was like they had forgotten you existed. Which was either a testament to your stealth skills as a Shiekah Warrior or an insulting knife jab by the Princess. Who got to walk hand in hand with the Sir Link all through the cold night air.

Come to think of it, this was one of the main draw backs of working as her Highness’s Shiekah Guard. The death of your social life. What days you got off from guard duty were actually nights thanks to your sleep schedule. And the taverns that made up the bulk of Castle Town's night life certainly did their best, but their best closed down at 2:30 AM. And the people you had found were awake after 2:30 AM were not what you would call prime boyfriend/girlfriend material. Certainly not at that hour. Say what you wanted about Kakariko’s limited dating pool, the kids your age were always up for a romp in the woods once all the chores were done. This awkward third wheeling had been the closest thing you had been on to a date since you were selected for this honor.

Minutes later, the three of you hit your first obstacle. The river that circled Hyrule Castle. At least 200 yards wide with faster currents than you would expect from a river this size. Perfect for keeping invading armies and bedtime defying Princesses from crossing.

You and Sir Link could have swam across it just fine, the Princess might even make it with help from her Knight, but then you would all be soaked to the bone. The Princess would catch her death with a cold before you could get her back in bed. Build a fire to warm her up and it would be morning before she was dry enough to keep moving. Assuming a fire right on the edge of the castle walls didn’t attract an investigation. It was too much to hope to find an abandoned boat along the shore. The Guards patrolled around the shore every night specifically looking for boats being left under trees for later use. You could head through the Castle Town Gates and back up the Castle Road. It would be the most direct way, but then you would have the Princess of Hyrule dressed in her nightie walking through the dark streets of Castle Town past any number of leering drunks. You and Link could protect her without question, but the Princess endured enough disgusting gossip as it was. And then you would have to come up with a good explanation of what the three of you were doing out so late outside of Hyrule Castle with the Princess in her nightie to no less than 5 sets of Guards. Fantasize about the two of them all you wanted, you didn’t want to be part of some nasty story of you being a slice of bread in a Princess Sandwich.

Maybe a nasty story was the solution though? If you could steal/borrow someone’s cloak from Castle Town, you and Sir Link could disguise the Princess as a pretty girl you both had picked up at a bar and were taking back to the Hero’s private apartment to see his Master Sword.

You could endure the Castle gossiping about you having a threesome with the Hero and another girl. You might even find yourself having sore wrists from all the high fives you would get from your Shiekah sisters, but the Princess’s reputation would be unblemished.

Of course none of this came to be, because while you were fantasizing, Sir Link had climbed up a tall tree with Princess on his back and had glided them both across the river without even getting his boots wet.

You prayed to Hylia and the Three that Impa never found out about you daydreaming while so closely guarding the Princess. She’d turn you into a Poe, seal you in a jar, and send you floating down the river.

You scrambled up the tree, kicked off and unfurled your glider. Then jogged to catch back up with the Princess and her Knight. Back to the old plan of wall climbing, you supposed.

Sir Link didn’t hesitate as he led the two of you through the woods that hugged Hyrule Castle. He was like a wolf in how he navigated around trees and bushes. You might ask him to show you around this side of the castle walls one day. Have him help you get more familiar with the area and see how exclusive the Hero of Hyrule was with the Princess.

When you reached the 1st wall of Hyrule Castle, Princess Zelda was already climbing onto Sir Link’s back. You looked up to the towering flat wall, black from the night. No Guards you had met would be watching this section of the wall. It was too steep and too obscured from the moonlight at this hour. Once again, Sir Link had chosen well. He would make a good Shiekah Warrior, you thought.

Once Princess Zelda had a firm grip around his neck, Sir Link leapt at the wall and started climbing as easily as any monkey you had ever seen. You didn’t think even the Princess’s added weight was slowing him down. A shame you couldn’t see this angle on a bright and sunny day.

Tap.

Your ears perked up. That was the sound of wood hitting wood. Some very thin wood. Wood from a bow and an arrow. Someone had just nocked an arrow. Someone down on the ground here with you. And you bet your ass on who they were aiming at.

A lifetime of trained once again kicked in. Your breathing slowed beneath an audible whisper. You shrank back into the shadows that hung all around you. The black trees became an extension of yourself. You hunted for your target.

He wasn’t too hard to find. Especially with his bright red leotard and bone white mask. Yiga scumbag.

He must have thought he had the luck of the century. The Yiga assassin had the smarts to come to this part of the Castle walls to climb up and sneak in. Not knowing that he would only make it 2-3 walls deep before one of your sisters would spot him. Not that it mattered, for who should walk by him now than two of his greatest targets. The both of them had their backs turned and were preoccupied with the climb up the sheer wall. No Yiga would ever dare dream of such an easy target. One arrow and they would both fall to their deaths.

The giddy Yiga pulled back on the string of his bow with two arrows nocked. The thread went taught and he aimed high to where Sir Link and the Princess would be. He hesitated though. Maybe he had grown arrogant and wanted to savor this moment? Maybe he was aiming for a headshot or two? Let him return to his fellow traitors with the ultimate story to tell.

So you slipped your knife underneath his arm and snipped the string on his bow. It snapped and hit him under his bicep. His arrows slipped back to the ground while you slipped your hand under his mask and over his mouth. His cry of pain and surprise was both muffled. He couldn’t react fast enough to stop your knife from slipping past his ribcage and into his heart. He kicked and reached for you, but only for a bit. You let him lay down gently.

Well damn, you thought. Now you would have to report this and earn Impa’s wrath for following the Princess without telling any of the others. You couldn’t let an attempted Yiga assassination go unreported. Plus if a Yiga corpse was found on the grounds, you would be spending all day searching the Castle from top to dungeon floor. You still might be if this Yiga was just a lookout for someone else.

Crap, you should have kept him alive for Interrogation.

Ugh. Maybe if you got to Impa quickly you might give her time to come up with a report that wouldn’t make the King panic and order a month of double shifts.

You wiped off your blade and leapt at the wall to start climbing. Sir Link was already at the top.

The things you did to keep the Princess safe.

Chapter Text

You shouldn’t be here. By all rights it was all wrong for you to be here. You were the King's Advisor on agriculture; you should not be the one he turns to for advice on countering military forces. And certainly not in Hyrule's darkest hour.

The Calamity was here and so far as you could tell, a decade of preparation had not been enough.

In the twilight hours of the 17^th Birthday of Princess Zelda, you were awoken from your afternoon nap by a terrible rumble. The likes of which you hadn’t heard since your childhood when a Lynel had wandered onto your family’s property and decided it was his territory. Your whole world had shattered then and now it seemed it would again.

If you lived through this, you would never forget the sight outside your window. Of that purple obelisk rising up to blot out the sun. It could have been a mile away, but it pushed itself out of the earth like fingers pushing through sand. It closed in around the castle like the claws of a monster too large to be possible. Screams of maids and servants had reverberated down the halls of the castle. For surely Hylia and the Three had abandoned them. The Goddesses could never allow something so large to exist on the same plane as their beloved children the Hylians. They just couldn’t.

Hylia wouldn’t leave her people alone to fight that.

You kneaded your knuckles into the sides of your forehead, as if you could smear the memories out of your mind. There was no time to waste thinking about that. No time at all. You needed to keep reading.

You peered back down at the open textbook that had been left in this bunker. A throwaway tome from decades ago. Outdated and crumbling at the spine, but it was the only book available to you about the great sieges of Hyrule Castle.

In the year of Hylia 1272, Hyrule Castle was out under siege by a rebellion of Gerudo splinter warriors. Utilizing a captured Gibdo Queen to possess the graveyards of Castle Town and turn its own dead against the populous. Castle Town was quarantined while Gerudo assassins slipped behind the gates and killed advisors to the crown and knight captains while the Shiekah worked to counter these plots. The Hero of the Age finally ended the siege with the Master Sword at his side by challenging the leader of this Gerudo faction to single combat. This led to further conflict as the Gerudo leader and King of Hyrule refused a peace treaty without the Hero choosing either leader’s daughter to marry.

You slammed the book shut. It was useless. A whole chapter ahead dedicated to this marriage triangle that you knew damn well would end with the Hero picking Princess Zelda. Hyrule was burning and you had some romantic fluff disguised as a history textbook to help you figure out how to advise the King. Nothing about the siege tactics, where to deploy troops, how far they could stretch their rations, when to just sod the whole thing and book it for the seas to try for a new life in Hytopia.

You were the agricultural advisor to the King. It was your job to let him know what he needed to know about farming in the Kingdom. What laws should be passed regarding crop placement, fair distribution of acres, why the Kingdom couldn’t be producing as much food as possible every single year in case they needed that extra farm land fertile for an extra harsh winter. But so far as anyone had discovered, you were the only advisor to make it out from the castle.

You rubbed your eyes again. Trying not to remember to the point of obsession. The Guardians falling out of the pillars like gerbils running into the sea. How they immediately turned on you all. The soldiers that had been trained to fight alongside them for a decade just being shot in the back or crushed underfoot. You saw it all from the castle windows. The soldiers were down in the training yard. They only had practice swords at the ready. They were so young. They sounded so young as they shouted at the wooden doors to be let in. You could hear it from two floors above them. When the Guardian beam hit them. Something wet slapped against the window right at your face, something red like a tomato; it slid down the glass panel like chicken giblets tossed at a wall. You ran.

You ran and you found some guards directing servants to the evacuation point. A Royal escape hatch that the King had ordered to be kept open for as long as possible. You had been pressed against the masses of people. Servants and maids and scholars. People you would dare to call friends in peaceful times. They howled obscenities when the crowds did not move fast enough. Older maids were pushed aside as the explosions boomed closer and closer to the center of the castle. Every rumble felt like fingers gripping around your heart. Like it wanted to squeeze your heart just like the pillars would squeeze all of Hyrule Castle and crush them both, dooming you to an eternity of fear.

You had tried to help a poor girl up when she fell, but you were kicked by a soldier rushing past you. And the crowd pushed you down the hatch and their spiral staircase. The torches that dotted the stairs were so weak, you couldn’t see the steps. You just hugged the brick walls, the cold stone with its stagnate air. It was like entering a tomb. And the whole castle desperately wanted to get in.

A knock at your door made you jump. The knocker let himself in without waiting for your answer. It was one of the soldiers. Sir Reginald. You couldn’t mistake him because of the bandages around his elbow. He had been one of the last soldiers to use the secret hatch. The word was that he had his sword arm blown off in his attempt at holding back a Guardian while his comrades got the mechanism unjammed. They dragged him back through the tunnel and what doctors had survived the attack had worked on him all night. On his deathbed, the King himself had knighted the lad. Except he had lived and would not be left to sit in bed while the Kingdom burned around him. So he had become the King’s Gofer in recognition of his bravery.

“My Lord, the King wishes to see you.” The Knight reported.

“Yes, very good.” You said out of habit, as there was nothing very good about this whole mess. You wiped your face with your hands to try to make yourself presentable, but you hadn’t had a chance to wash yourself in days.

You headed out your door and turned into the hallway. Immediately you had to step over a Knight who had sat with his legs laid across the hallway. You stepped over him, not wanting to disturb his sleep. You made your way down the narrow hallway, ducking under a hastily added support beam, and then turned another corner into the huge torch lit, circular room with its sea of dirty, frightened, and crying people.

Easily five hundred Hyrulians of every race who had all lived and worked in and around Hyrule Castle were crammed in here. Mostly Hylians, but Rito and Zora as well. Even a squad of Gerudo warriors who happened to have been rotated in among the different garrisons. You could even spot the Castle’s Head Chef, a Goron, helping to stir an enormous cauldron of boiled oats that were handed out for whatever meal they should be having right now. Most of the people were servants of some kind like maids or stable boys while a smaller majority were tradesmen that Hyrule Castle employed such as carpenters and masons. There were also scholars, scientists, doctors, and a few architects. Some were Shiekah, but not all. Amongst all the workers were their spouses, children, and other family members. Some so old it was a miracle they made it down the stairs. Others so young that there had been special rooms hastily built to give parents a place to hurry their children in case they started crying. They couldn’t afford to have any Guardian or Monster find out about this bunker.

The smallest group by far were the soldiers, guards, and Knights. The latter of which was down to a handful that had survived the initial assault. Most of the Castle’s martial forces had died buying time for the rest to escape. The rest you could only pray had found somewhere in the town ruins to hide. As far as you knew, only three soldiers had been scurried into the safety of the bunker after the first night. Among the dozens of civilians that had been allowed in from the secret entrance south of the town fountain. Maybe half of the entire fighting force in the bunker could stand on their own two feet. No where near enough to fight off anything, even you knew that.

Everyone who could was sitting, huddled together with friends and family, which made navigating the length of the bunker a chore. Lots of great big steps over legs and what few possessions had been grabbed in the mad dash to escape death. Eventually you made your way across the floor to a doorway guarded by two soldiers. You parted a tattered curtain that was used as the door and found King Rhoam where you had left him. Standing over a round table with the map of Hyrule splayed out in front of him and stacks of discarded reports from the Lookout Posts.

The King looked weary. A man of impressive size long before he ever dawned the robes of a Monarch, King Rhoam looked sunken into himself. His head drooped and the shadows under his eyes grew darker by the day. You did not know how much sleep he had gotten since the Calamity came, but you suspected the King lied to you every time you inquired on the topic.

You were about to announce your arrival to his Majesty when another soldier dashed in clutching a message. The latest report from the Lookout Posts.

The Lookout Posts were a system of shacks build on most every mountain peak in Hyrule. With the sole purpose of sending and receiving morse code messages from flashing torchlight. With this system, reports of enemy movement and the status of every major fort in Hyrule could be relayed to every other fort in the space of one hour. The Lookout Posts had been created not two years ago after King Rhoam had been impressed by a similar system used in the Kingdom of Hytopia from across the seas.

“Sir, latest report from Akkala Citadel.” The soldier said and the King waved to let him get on with it. “North Tower has crumbled from Guardian bombardment. Heavy casualties. Have barricaded doors leading to Northern section of the Tower. Ammunition at 60%. Requesting any relief force to be sent our way. Signed, General Akkala.”

You closed your eyes. Akkala Citadel was the great fortress of Hyrule. Second only to the military might of Hyrule Castle. If it fell, it would be checkmate. What survivors remained of the Hylian military would have nowhere safe to go. The Guardians and Monsters would have free reign across the lands. Only the cities, towns, and villages would remain; and they were all under seige already. The armies of the Zora, Rito, Gorons, and Gerudo were all busy defending their own territory. The Shiekah were engaging in sabotage where they could while fighting to keep communication open. The Champions with their Divine Beasts had gone missing. And no one had heard from Sir Link or the Princess in days. There was no one to send to relieve Akkala. This was the end.

“Thank you, soldier. Return to your post.” The King ordered calmly. The soldier saluted and left. The King sighed and finally noticed your presence. He greeted you by name and bid you closer.

“Your Majesty.” You bowed, only to look up and see the King holding out a piece of paper in front of your face.

“There is a report from Fort Hateno. I would like your opinion on it.” The King said. You took the report and swallowed the lump in your throat. Here it was. Your job that you were about to fail at. You knew nothing of Fort Hateno besides it being the border gate leading to the Village of Hateno. And in that, you were guessing from context. You knew nothing of its strategic value or size of its garrison. The King was probably asking you if it should be abandoned after it was overrun or sacrificed to go try and join the defense at Akkala. You read the report.

From the Captain of Fort Hateno to all stations. Flash, flash, flash. By the Grace of Hylia and the Three, Guardians repelled at Fort Hateno. Casualties at 50%. As Hylia as my witness, Princess Zelda has unlocked her Sealing Magic.

You caught yourself on the table. Your legs had given out. The King in his humility grabbed you to keep you from hurting yourself, but you ignored him. You had to reread the letter again. And again. And once more just to prove to yourself that the messy scribble had been exactly what you think it was. There was a noticeable shake in the lettering at the end of the report. As if the man recording the message had gotten jelly legged at the news too.

The prayers of the Kingdom of Hyrule had been answered. The Princess had unlocked her powers as the fortuneteller had foretold. The Guardians, once thought to be the Kingdom’s allies, had been beaten back. They were saved.

“Yo-your Majesty.” The words tumbled out of you. A hundred different emotions inside you fighting to be expelled. All this horror, days of worrying, and sleepless nights were all about to be over. “This is fantastic news. When did we hear of this?”

“Two hours ago.” King Rhoam said.

“Two hours?” You gasped, fighting to regain your composure. “Why? Sir, why doesn’t the whole bunker know? There should be jubilation outside.”

“At first it was because I wanted to confirm these reports. You remember the Yiga incident two days ago?”

“Yes.” You said, perhaps more hastily than you should to your King. The Yiga scoundrels had taken control of one of the Lookout Posts near the Gerudo Desert. They had reported that Sir Link was dead and the Princess had been kidnapped by the Gerudo. A desperate scouting mission had been assembled after that and cost the lives of five good men, but they had gotten word out that the report was all lies. That sobered your jubilation.

“Multiple Lookout Posts confirmed seeing a flash of golden light at Fort Hateno. They all saw the same thing. So it is genuine.”

“So then distribute it… Sir.” You added hastily. “Your Majesty, why would you not tell the people this fantastic news?”

“It is only one battle…” The King explained, looking ashamed in his justification. “We must keep expectations realistic. Especially with escape from our bunker being so far off.”

Your mind was a whirlwind now. Trying to roll the Kings words around and around until they fit into place. Had the King given up? It wasn’t the people he didn’t want to get their hopes up, it was his? Was he delusional? You’d be damned if the King had gotten a good night sleep since entering this bunker. No one had. Yet had a single day gone by in ten years without the King or anyone inquiring to whether or not the Princess had unlocked her Goddess Blessed Magic?

You held up your hands to frame the King and prepared your statement. Utilizing one of the finer arts of royal advisement. Stating the obvious.

“Sir, I am no military advisor, but it has been bad news after bad news. The people deserve to hear good news as well. No army can fight on without any boost to morale.”

The King nodded, rolling your own words around in his head. “Yes, you are correct.”

“Furthermore, the Princess has unlocked her powers.” You emphasized. “This is the start of our counterattack. With the Princess and the Master Sword, we will triumph.”

“That is just it…” King Rhoam said, sounding weary. “We no longer have the Master Sword…”

You swayed to the side, your own weariness threatening to topple you over as the whole world seemed to list far to the side. “My liege…?”

“Sir Link… has gone missing…” Rhoam said, as if from the other end of a far away tunnel.

You blinked. “What?”

“After the battle. After Princess Zelda unleashed the Goddess’ Might against the Guardians. Sir Link could not be found. He did not report in and his body was not found amongst the casualties. I have asked the Garrison to search for the Master Sword…”

“Your Majesty?”

“We need the sword…” Rhoam said before slamming his hands on the map and throwing everything off the table. Papers, wooden figurines, mugs of coffee, all of it went crashing to the floor. The King wailed like a man falling off a cliff.

“Your Majesty!” You exclaim.

“We had it!” King Rhoam bellowed, his fingers tearing at his white hair. “All the pieces were in place. We had the Beasts and the warning and the sword. All we needed was my daughter. We finally have her and we lose the sword! What has the Kingdom done? Have we not been pious enough? Grateful enough? Is it our fate to be doomed? We were so close!”

“Your Majesty, please, control yourself?” You reached out, instinctively trying to grab the King by the arm, as if he were your friend. The King merely shrugs you off and steps back in a rave.

“He was the perfect Champion! Strong and dutiful. Brave and beloved. He had no vices. He was not arrogant even for being the most skilled warrior in the Kingdom. He did not drink, gamble, or fornicate! All the people respected him. The soldiers were inspired by him. My daughter…”

He let his words hang in the air, as if teetering on the edge of admitting something shameful. Yet what good was shame in these days of Armageddon? That had gone by the wayside a week ago after the shit buckets had been passed around.

“He brought her out of her shell. The maids told me that she finally started smiling again after he saved her life.” Rhoam said while smiling to himself like a maniac. “I could see it for myself. He made her happy…”

The King slumped against his chair, laid low. “I would have given my blessing if he had asked. He could have courted my Zelda if that’s what they both wanted. He would have made her happy.”

Was he…? Did the King just say he would bless their union?

A union between the Princess and Sir Link? That old rumor?

Just a few weeks ago it was the number 1 source of gossip in the Kingdom. So many people had seen them together, smiling and happy, that there was talk of a wedding before the Calamity would come. Talk amongst the fish wives, of course. No official plans had been suggested. The rumors had reached your circle of peers. Fellow advisors to the Crown. You had all met up to discuss the feasibility of these rumors and whether or not this scandal should be allowed to run its course.

On the one hand the Lynelharts were overdue for a royal match. They had been reasonable after the late Princess Zelda declared that she would have the Bospheromus heir instead. But two generations in a row would test their patience.

Not that the current Princess’ fiance had been finalized either. The past few years had the advisors for Trade make a case for marrying Princess Zelda to a Prince from Hytopia. Nearly two decades of war preparations had taken their toll on international relations and a marriage would mend creaking rifts.

As for Sir Link. You completely sympathized with the King. Any man in Hyrule would have loved to have the Chosen Hero as a Son-in-law. You were no exception. You had a daughter and two nieces that you would be ecstatic to have marry a brave, strong, kind, and steadfast Knight. The Hylian Champion though? That would have been a highlight in your family’s history. You would not feel snubbed if the Royal Family went and snatched this bachelor up though. You heard it from the horse’s mouth. Sir Link made the Princess happier. You were not often in the company of her Royal Highness, but even you had noticed the improvement to her mood. Especially immediately after or right before a long journey with her Knight.

But that was neither here nor there. You were still at war, not planning some love match. The possible death of Sir Link was a terrible blow, but it need not be the end. Heroes of Legend had done the impossible before. Including returning from the Land of the Dead. Sir Link drawing the Master Sword proved he was among their caliber. You had met the young man once and found him to be the embodiment of the men you always thought ot when you were read the legends of the Heroes as a child.

You had to ask yourself, what would Sir Link do?

“Sire, the Princess… If she has unlocked her powers, then we must ensure her safety.”

“How?” Rhoam asked, desperately.

You gulped down your doubts. “The only way we can, by regrouping with her.”

“We cannot leave the safety of the bunker. We do not have the military force to escort the civilians safely across Hyrule Field.”

“We cannot wait for reinforcements either.” You pressed. “Our rations dwindle by the day. What soldiers we have could not hold this position even without having the civilians to defend. The fighting is happening elsewhere. If we are to be of use anywhere, we must head South. Meet with Princess Zelda and decide what to do from there.”

“And Sir Link…?”

You bit your lip. “If Sir Link is truly lost, then we shall find a ship for you and her Royal Highness. Ferry you both across the seas until another young lad picks up the Master Sword.” You said, wondering where your sterness was coming from. “But if he is not dead, just lost in all the confusion, then we will find him on our trek south to Fort Hateno.”

You didn’t know where this certainty in your voice was coming from, but you knew it to be true. They couldn’t stay in this bunker any longer, and with so many mouths to feed, the only place they could go would be East Necluda. It was your only option.

Maybe the Goddesses were guiding your lips, maybe the Spirit of the Hero was granting you courage, or maybe you were sick of being trapped in this bunker. You were more of a farmer than a soldier, but farmers knew better than anyone that you till the land you have when you have to, not the land you want when you want to.

The King looked at you, as if awed by the certainty in your voice. You have never spoken to him like this before. You could see the fire in his eyes though as it grew bigger and bigger.

King Rhoam stood tall and took a deep breath. “Sir Reginald.” The King spoke in his old regal voice, summoning his Knight inside the tent. “Inform our cooks to prepare all food stores into portable rations. Then tell the scouts to find carts to in Castle Town to carry the old and wounded. We march on the next New Moon… And tell every soul that my daughter, the Princess, has finally unlocked her Sealing Magic.”

Sir Reginald looked startled, like a deer in lamp lights. You could see his lip quivering, but he swallowed back his tears.

“Sire.” Sir Reginald bowed before leaving to fulfill the order. That was it, there was no stopping it now. Hero’s Spirit and Hylia be with you all. The Survivors of Hyrule Castle were joining this war.

Chapter Text

You loved Link.

You had always loved Link.

Ever since you were both children you had been in love with the boy who would become the Princess’s Champion. You both grew up in the same village after all. Spending your days playing out in the hills and woods together with all the other children. The boys would play swordfights with sticks while the girls all sat in the sun and made crowns out of wildflowers. With your newly crafted headgear you would each declare yourselves to be Princesses and each Princess would chose a boy to be their Knight.

The other girls chose the tallest boy or the biggest boy. You chose Link. For you knew even then that he was the kindest and the best. The other boys would sneer and call you ugly, but Link never did. He would defend your honor just like you were Malon with her pretty red hair. And then Link won. He swung his sticks the hardest, he ran down hills the fastest, and he climbed up trees the bestest. And he would always end your games by kneeling at you like a real Knight would to a real Princess.

Link knew how to make a girl feel special.

You were devastated when Link was sent away. His Father wanted him to train to be a real Knight and wouldn’t ever let him come home. You cried to your Mother, but she told you to forget about Link. Your Knight.

Ridiculous.

All the other kids had no problem forgetting about Link. They kept playing their stupid kid games of Princess and Knight while Link was off working hard to protect the Kingdom. Everyone was jealous of you and Link. You, who knew he was destined for greatness ever since you laid eyes on him. You, who would be waiting for Link when he finally came home. Dressed in shining armor and riding atop a beautiful horse. He would march right into town with the wind in his hair and his blue eyes making all the girls swoon, but he would only have eyes for you.

He would stop at your door in the middle of town, lift you up on his horse, and take you both away in front of everyone.

At least he might have, if your letters ever reached him.

You were from a poor family. You couldn’t afford to send letters by postman every day to Link. Not when he was in Zora’s Domain or the Rauru Training Camp or the Secret Shiekha Village of Kakariko. Especially when he moved to from one location to the other. It became such a sore topic with your parents that you stopped trying to send letters altogether. Trusting that fate would bring Link back to you.

Your friends used to tease you about it. Your Mother said you were wasting your time with silly dreams. You wouldn’t believe it. And when the rumors came back that Link was succeeding beyond even his Father’s wildest dreams, when he was made a squire, younger than any non-noble in history, you were proven right.

By the time you were a teenager, everyone in Hateno was saying that they always knew that Link was going to be a Knight. The girls all gossiped about how cute they always thought Link was. You laughed at them. They were a few years and a dozen letters behind you.

A few weeks after a quiet 15^th birthday party between you and your parents, you got your best present ever; news from Hyrule Castle. A literal flood of pamphlets and criers descended on Hateno and every village outside of Castle Town. Ensuring every man, woman, and child of Hyrule learned the good news. Your Link had found the Master Sword and drew it.

Your heart swelled. It was natural, you thought. Link was to become the best Knight ever, thus he needed the best sword ever. It made perfect sense that he was to become the Hero of the Era, Champion to the Hylians, Chosen by the Goddess.

Rumors swirled around Hateno of Link’s imminent return to his home town where there would be a festival in his honor. It was all to be too perfect, you and he would reunite then after so many years. You could show him around your hometown. He would dance with you all night long. You begged your parents to help you fashion a new dress for the occasion.

And then disaster struck…

You awoke one morning to disturbing news in the papers. The Princess of Hyrule had an accident. One of her weird machines had malfunctioned or something. It tried to blow her up, but Link had saved her using only a pot lid. Suddenly the festival was called off, the decorations put away, the musical band called off. Your Link had been reassigned as Princess Zelda’s personal Knight.

Your new dressed remained half mended in the chest at the foot of your bed.

The year after that had been the worst of your life. Everywhere you went you saw newspaper articles about the precious Princess with her nose in the air, riding all over Hyrule atop her white mare and failing to unlock her magic powers. All the while, Sir Link stood dutifully behind Zelda. Reduced to standing behind her shadow while she strutted about. No longer were the papers filled with Link’s great deeds, instead they were pushed back into sidenotes of articles about the Princess’s failures. Sir Link slew a Bokoblin Camp near the Spring of Courage. Sir Link saved a Stable from a stampede of horses. Sir Link saved an orphan’s kite from a tree.

There were rumors that the Princess hated her Knight, which made you despise her even more. How dare she? After Link had been chosen by the Goddess and saved her ungrateful royal butt. Why didn’t she just get out of Link’s way? If she wasn’t going to fulfill her one job and unlock her powers, she could at least free Link of the tedious job of being her bodyguard.

It was around this time that you started working at the local tavern as a waitress. There you made your feelings about the Princess known to everyone who asked, and many did. Your Boss, a fervent Royalist, told you on more than one occasion to knock it off, but you ignored him. Cheering men bought more drinks and nothing made men happier than hearing the truth.

Your evening political discussions soon had you making new friends. A trio of like-minded travelers who had come to Hateno for work, but said they stayed for the banana bread.

They told you about more like-minded free thinkers who gathered together far out west from Hateno. It would mean leaving your home village for the first time in your life, and not being here in case Link ever came home, but your new friends convinced you in the end.

Sir Link would like an adventurous girl, after all.

You set off the next day without even telling your parents. You were a grown woman after all. Almost 16.

The gathering of free thinkers, as it turned out, were much more assertive than you would have guessed. They did much more than criticize the Royal Family, they prepared to resist them. Assuring you that Hyrule needed great men like Link to lead it. Not fat old fools for Kings and snobby airheads for Princesses.  As the weeks turned into months, you found yourself agreeing with them more and more. It was hard to imagine you had once been so naïve such a short time ago.

Then the news reached your cell. A trio of patriots had made an attempt on Princess Zelda’s life. Regrettably, they failed. Your love, Sir Link, had stopped them. Once again you found yourself defending Link’s honor in front of doubters. Didn’t they all see that Sir Link was only doing his duty as a Hero? He would protect any maiden in danger. It just happened to be the Royal Princess he was defending. For such free thinkers, her fellow trainees could be so narrow minded.

This got you noticed by your leader. He was impressed by your open mind and had a special task for only you to complete. The 1^st stage of which had you joining the cell stationed in Hyrule Castle. You were quietly hired to be a maid close to Princess Zelda and were to learn everything you could about her.

After passing several interviews and with an in-person recommendation from your “cousin” you were placed under the management of this dottering old maid who would take any joke as a great affront. You once tried to comment that it sometimes felt like you and the rest of the maids were running a race around the castle with brooms. She got so snippy with you after that.

Regardless, you soldiered on. Working as a faceless maid for Princess Zelda. Cleaning her sheets and undergarments, preparing her baths, and cleaning up her books off the floor like the spoiled toddler that she was. All the while, terrified every day that Sir Link would recognize you. It had been 12 years since you both had been so close together. One time you were even nose to nose while he helped you pick up a tea tray. Yet Master Kogha’s Stealth Training had paid off. Your one true love didn’t even recognize you.

Your greatest test had yet to come though. It was one thing to have to suffer the indignety of serving the Princess, it was quite another to hold your tongue when that useless girl started to fall in love with your Link.

Oh it was obvious to anyone with eyes. Her change in tone, the wildening of her eyes at the mention of his name, the constant planning with him, the sudden interest in the state of her hair. The maids your age all liked to cluck about the Princess falling for her Knight. Worst yet, and you hated that you could see it too, the maids clucked about how Sir Link had affections for the Princess.

You made sure to cluck back that the Princess didn’t deserve Sir Link. The Old Bat had you on toilet scrubbing duty for a month after that. Master Kogha was also greatly disappointed in you, as it cost you a month of observing Princess Zelda. From then on, you strove to keep your facts to yourself.

You were twice as dutiful from then on. Every moment you could, you spent studying Princess Zelda. Her mannerisms, her speech patterns, the way she acted around Link. At night you would slip out of the maid’s barracks and practice. One time, one of the girls caught you and guessed you wanted to join an acting troupe. You agreed and wasted an evening sitting with her under the moonlight and talking about dreams. You had only one real dream, and when Master Kogha’s plan succeeded, you would have it.

When Phase 2 of the plan began, you were ashamed to admit that you hesitated. Master Kogha explained that it was all necessary for the coming Calamity. Many sacrifices would have to be made across Hyrule, yours would be of a greater sort. Many would sacrifice their lives, but you would have to sacrifice your identity. You begged your Master to know if it must be permanent. He told you it was. When the Royal Family was deposed, a similar one must seamlessly be put in its place, or the lesser-minded Royalists would panic. Once you began playing your part, you could never stop. You would become who you hated most, but you would receive a prize worth all the cost. Finally, Link’s affections would be yours.

As you lay back on the alter and the chanting began, you remembered playing Princess and her Knight with Link back when you were children. How fitting, you thought. As if the Goddesses wanted you to know what your life has in store for you.

When you stood up from the alter and a fellow Yiga handed you a mirror, you recoiled at the sight, and the scowling face of Princess Zelda stared back at you. The magic of the slumbering Ganon was truly incredible. It had transformed not only your face, but your eyes and your hair. You ran your hands down your body and felt curves where there weren’t any before. No longer fit and trim from training and hardwork, instead there was pudgy fat from a lifetime sitting on her ass.

You laughed, all your doubts in the plan vanishing like your old freckles. You were Princess Zelda now. Not even her own dead mother would be able to tell you two apart.

You spent the next few months in hiding. Living amongst the Yiga, refining your impersonation down to a mirror’s shine. Other servants a guards close to the Princess would come by to coach you on her quirks. Soon, not even they could tell you apart. Not a day too soon, as the sun set on Princess Zelda’s 17^th Birthday. A great roar echoed across the lands. Master Kogha rolled out of bed and ran through the hideout in naked jubilation.

“He’s here! He’s here! Calamity Ganon has returned!”

What cheers rose up from the hearts of every Yiga, their hour of redemption was here, and your job had finally begun.

For days you traveled across Hyrule, escorted by experienced Yiga swordsmen disguised as Hylian Knights. You knew where Sir Link was supposed to be, but every road from the Highlands to Necluda was choked full of terrified villagers fleeing their own salvation. They spotted you as you passed and shouted an equal mix of frantic encouragements, desperate pleas, and jeers berating you for your greatest failure. You ignored them all. They would be cheering in the new world once the Calamity was finished with them.

It was too late to catch Sir Link at Mount Lanayru and there had been no sightings of him in Hyrule Field. That left only Necluda and your shared hometown, Hateno.

You arrived just in time to see Sir Link facing down the army of Guardians. He never looked so handsome. Standing alone, tunic dirty, scraps on his arms, cut over his eye, yet illuminated by the glow of the Master Sword. He looked as you always fantasized him to be in the middle of battle. A Hero.

You kept your spyglass pressed to your eye while your bodyguards scanned the walls of Fort Hateno for the useless Princess. They spotted her soon enough and interrupted your viewing to get you to change into the Princess’s breezy white prayer dress and sandals. They even smeared mud along the hems of your dress to let it match the Princess. It was not an exact match, but you were confident in your acting abilities.

You waited for your chance and sure enough, that moment came. Sir Link charged at the second wave of Guardians all by himself. They fired so many lasers at him that the battlefield became completely obscured by clouds of dirt. There was so much chaos, even your bodyguards lost track of the Hero multiple times. Sir Link slashed, dashed, and weaved through the forest of white legs of the Guardians. The look of fierce determination on his face was simply to die for, but you had to follow Master Kogha’s plan. The Hero was not to die here.

Your bodyguards leapt into the fray, slashing at the legs of the unassuming Shiekah Bots. You watched from afar, cursing the Princess for never bothering to fight herself, less you could have rushed in without giving yourself away. Your bodyguards fought on, only now attracting some of the Guardians to turn their way and attack back. The Guardians fired beams and your Knights deflected them with their shields, but they were being beaten back. You frantically looked deeper into the mess of mechanical tentacles, trying to spot Link, but he had vanished.

Light. A flash of light pierced your eyes. Golden and brilliant, like the light shining through a church window, exactly how you pictured it to look on your wedding day. You could see Link now, dressed in his finest Royal Guard blue uniform. It was joy and peace, yet it stung too. Then it lessened, the light dimmed and you could see the outlines of the Guardians again. Wafting off each and every one of them was a purple fog. Something more liquid than gas, which hissed and wiggled in contact with the light before it blew away like smoke.

The light died, the sky returned to normal, and the Guardians all crashed to the earth like statues, their legs limp and useless. Their red eyes dimmed to nothing. The army of Guardians lay in heaps like the scattered remains of a toy box.

“Link!” You cried, rushed up to the tallest pile of Guardians. Whatever that light was, it was inconsequential. It was all inconsequential. You crawled over the Guardian heaps, tugged Guardian arms out of your path, dug your way deeper and deeper into the twisted mess until you saw the flash of sky blue tunic.

“Link!” You repeated, throwing the Guardian arms off of him to reveal his perfect face. His eyes closed, mouth hung open. You grabbed his face and thanked the Goddesses above that he was breathing. Again and again you thanked them and again and again you kissed Link’s forehead with every thanks. You tasted the sweat on his brow. Oh it was salty and sweet.

Finally, you regained your composure. He was not safe yet. Hylian soldiers could arrive at any moment. You worked on the rest of his body, freeing him from the tangle of Guardian corpses. The only hiccup remained was the Master Sword. Despite all the fighting and falling unconscious, Link was still managing to hold onto the sword’s handle. Unbelievable. He really was just like the heroes from all the storybooks. You reached out to retrieve the blade and resheath it, but the sword glowed violently white as you approached. Curious. You reached closer and recoiled as soon as you touched the handle. It was red hot. You were amazed that Link’s hand did not catch on fire. You tried again, going for the blade itself, only to feel the same unbearable heat at your fingertips.

“I am trying to help him.” You said, as if the Master Sword could talk.

“Link!” A man’s voice called out, making you duck down. His words were followed by a chorus of, “Link!” from other men. It was the Hylian Soldiers, they were searching for him.

 You blew air out of your lips and decided to forget the whole thing. You grabbed Link by the armpits and hoisted him out of the pile of dead Guardians. His grip finally slackened and the sword fell out of his hand. You hadn’t a prayer of grabbing it while holding up Link. The sword just slipped through some gaps between Guardians and fell out of sight. You cursed. Part of Master Kogha’s plan called for the retrieval of Link and the Master Sword, but no matter. It could be recovered later with some sturdy oven mitts.

You hoisted Link over your shoulders and hopped off the Guardian pile. Your months of Yiga training proving their worth in gold. You hopped from one Guardian head to the next, keeping out of sight of Fort Hateno and the approaching soldiers. You could see the treeline. Under the forest canopy you would be concealed. 100 yards away, 50 yards, 10. You ran past the first tree, Link still drapped across your neck. You kept on running deeper and deeper into forest. Past ancient and thick trees, over rushing streams. Further and further.

Hours passed and you finally had to give in. Your running turned into a jog until you found a perfect spot. A babbling brook of crystal clear water and soft moss covered rocks. You lowered Sir Link, as delicately as if he were made of porcelean right next to the brook. He was still unconscious. By the way he was breathing, he might have been dreaming. The Calamity had returned almost a week ago. He must not have slept since then. Such a fine, diligent man. A once in a generation, no, once in a century man. Hylia’s Chosen. The very best that Hyrule had to offer. And finally, he was all yours.

You reached into your bag and pulled out a clean cloth, then soaked it in the brook. Once it was rung out, you carefully wiped the dirt and blood from Link’s face. Oh how you had fantasized about this moment. Link, returning from slaying some terrible beast to your home in Hateno. Where you would tend to his injuries as a dutiful housewife should. And he would show you his vulnerable side as you nursed him back to health. Your rag ran down from his forehead to his cheek, then brushed past his lips.

How many years had you wanted to kiss those lips? How many nights had you spent practicing on your pillow, imagining it was him? Now it was, just not now. When he was awake. He would see you, not as yourself, but as the Princess. You wanted to vomit, just thinking about it, but hadn’t he and the Princess grown closer romantically since he saved her ungrateful life? Had they gone so far as to kiss one another? When he awoke, would the first thing he would do is kiss you?

His eyes fluttered and your breath caught in your chest. Link stirred, his low groans were music to your ears. You framed yourself to be the very first thing he saw.

“Link…” You breathed as he opened his heavy blue eyes.

“Zelda…?” He replied. It took all your strength not to flinch at his answer. You smiled through the pain, letting your relief overtake your hatred. This was to be your life now. As he looked up at you, the face of Princess Zelda smiled back at him.

“You’re alright.” You sighed. Holding his face between your hands.

“Wha-what happened?” He asked, sounding so very tired. “Fort Hateno? The garrison?” He patted the ground around him, carefully at first and then frantically. “The sword! Where is—” He sat up, pain shot up his chest when he moved to quickly. Thankfully, you were there to catch him.

“Link, lie back, please. You’re injured.”

“Where is the Master Sword?” Link repeated desperately. “Where are we?”

“It’s okay.” You promised. “You were knocked unconscious.” And you proceeded to explain everything that Link had missed. How he had been overwhelmed by the Guardians, that Fort Hateno had been overrun, and that you had snuck onto the battlefield to rescue Link.

“But I couldn’t pick up the sword…” You sniffed. “I tried, but it was too hot to the touch. The Guardians were closing in. I had to leave it to save you.”

You looked up at Link’s face just in time to see his eyes grow wide. You weren’t surprised. The loss of the Master Sword had to be a terrible blow. Master Kogha would have to come up with a new plan to retrieve it after you brought Link to the Yiga Hideout.

“That’s why we must hasten to Gerudo Town. Lady Urbosa will meet us there and we can coordinate a counter attack.” You said.

Link’s face became neutral, no doubt he was deep in thought. Then he stood up and you flinched.

“Link, no, you’re hurt.”

“I’m fine, thank you.” Link said, standing tall and sure footed, ready for duty. Always so cool. Leaving you kneeling before him in your white dress.

“Where did you say we were, Princess?” Link asked.

“West Necluda, I think.” You replied, having not brought a map with you. The forest surrounding you was so thick, it was impossible to get your bearings. Not without climbing a tree. The whole of the Hylian Army could search these woods and never find the two of you before you were long gone. By the time any search party passed the Dueling Peaks, you and Link would be in the Gerudo Canyons.

“And you said the Master Sword was dropped in a fire?”

“No?” You answered. “It was hot on its own. The magic, you know. Only Hylia’s Chosen can hold it after all.

“That is what I thought you said.” He stated quietly.  He looked down at you with a kind smile and offered you his hand. Your heart skipped a beat. You could see the sunlight breaking through the tree canopy, illuminating Link’s dirty blond hair. Birds were chirping and the forest was breathing. You reached up to take his hand and he snatched your wrist. He yanked you off your knees, pulling you close to his chest when he twirled you around and threw you back on the ground. Your face hit the dirt and your eyes went wide as he held your arm behind your back. Was Sir Link this assertive with the Princess? Your answer was a knife pressed to your throat.

Oh sweet Ganon…

“Where is the Princess?” Link growled. “What have you done with her?”

“L-link? Unhand me! What has gotten into you?” You begged.

“Answer me!” Link snapped with more fury than you could have ever dreamed he possessed.

“Link, my Knight, you are hurting me.” You said, only for the knife to press deeper into your throat. He couldn’t possibly know. He took a blow to his head. He was delusional. Your acting was perfect. Your love was sincere.

“Drop the act, Yiga.” Link spat. “The Princess only calls her Urbosa. Never Lady Urbosa. Especially when we are alone. I can smell bananas on your breath. The Princess hates bananas—”

Flimsy excuses, all of them, you thought. Using the title for Urbosa was a fluke. Slip of the tongue. As for the bananas, it was the Calamity. Food was scarce. Not even the Princess would be stupid enough to turn up her nose at a delicious banana if it was the only food she could find.

“—And the Princess is the only other soul besides me who can weild the Master Sword.”

Your blood ran icy cold.

The wind ran between your two bodies. You could feel it carass your back as a strand of blond hair blew past your eyes. The Princess’s hair.

No!

Your hair!

You were the Princess!

You were the love of Link’s life!

You!

You thrashed violently, caring nothing for the blade rocking against your skin. You headbutted Link, cracking him right in the nose and his grip lessoned. You rolled away, scurrying on all fours like an animal. You snarled at him. Link clutched his nose with his knife held between you. He didn’t look handsome now. Not like the Link you loved. He looked at you like all the other bitches at Hateno. All of them who looked down at you. Turning up their noses just like that Princess.

You lunged at the Hero, ready to claw his eyes out. Ready to bash his head against a rock until he could be brought before Master Kogha and be convinced as you were once convinced.

You swiped at him with your nails. He ducked underneath your arm and jabbed you in the gut with the butt end of his knife. You hurled air, but kept up the fight. You kicked, but he blocked. You fought with the ferocity that rose you through the ranks of the Yiga 5 years your senior, and he wasn’t even using the edge of his blade. He was underestimating you?

“Tell me where the Princess is!” Link demanded with such a fire in his eyes you thought you were holding the Master Sword again. You were trying to kill him and still all he cared about was her?

Unforgivable.

You lunged at him, screaming like a Lynel, blood dripped down your neck. You leapt at him and then whole world went golden yellow.

Light. The same light from the battlefield slammed into you now as solid as a tsunami. You were knocked off your feet and sent tumbling away. The warmth of the light you had once experienced was gone, completely replaced by the stinging sensation that engulfed your entire body. Like the heat from the sword, only softer. There was nothing soft about slamming into the tree you hit though. All the wind was knocked out of you. Your spine snapped and your blood veins flattened. The force of the light kept you pinned to the tree. All you could do was open your eyes and see her.

Princess Zelda, in her tattered and mud stained white prayer dress, wearing gold bracelets that cost more than your house, dismounting off her white steed that cost more than your whole family could make in a year. Holding the Master Sword in her left hand while her right palm pointed at you. She wore a look of disgust that was yours alone to wear. Only you had the right to look at her like that.

“Link!” The Princess cried, dropping her arm and rushing to her Knight’s side. Leaving you pressed against the tree by her magic, unable to lift a finger. She tackled him into a hug and you could spit bile from the sight of it. Link hugged her back, his arms sinking so deeply into her hair they almost vanished. He actually twirled her in his arms and they laughed. Laughed like the whole world had been put right. That the Calamity had risen, the Kingdom was burning, the dead piled up in their thousands, and none of that mattered because the two of them had reunited and together they could put it all right.

They didn’t even care that you were watching all of this. You were a fly on the wall to them. An inconsequential knat.

“I was so worried about you, Link. When they couldn’t find you I thought I would lose my mind.”

“Forgive me for worrying you, Princess.” Link breathed. “I don’t know what happened. I think I became too confident and took a blow to the head. Maybe this Yiga got the drop on me. How did you find me?”

“The Master Sword.” Zelda said. “When the soldiers found her under all the Guardians, only I could move her. As soon as I picked her up she began flashing like crazy.”

“She?”

“The Sword… I don’t know why. When I picked it up, she felt like a she.”

“I thought she was a she too.” Link laughed. “I didn’t want to say so in case you thought I was crazy.”

“I would have.” Zelda giggled. “It sounds crazy, but she led me to you. Maybe it was because I finally unlocked the Goddess’s powers, but I could understand her.”

“Your powers.” Link smiled.

Zelda’s grin split her face in two. “My powers. I unlocked my Sealing Magic, Link.”

“I saw.” Link smiled like there would be nothing but blue skies for the rest of their days. “I saw on the battlefield and just now. You saved me, Zelda. You were brilliant.”

“It is all because of you.” Zelda explained, holding his hands like they were the tethers to the world. “I saw you in danger Link and I couldn’t stand it a moment longer. I had to save you and that was the key.”

“Ah, I’m just me—” Link said before Zelda clasped his face between her hands.

“You—are Link.” She stated. “You—are brilliant.”

You—are dead.

Your heart was going to tear itself inside out, crawl up your chest, and strangle you to death. For that would be less agonizing than the torture you were beholden to now. Then they kissed.

Not a peck on the cheek or an awkward smush of the lips, a real deep kiss. The kind only lovers could give to one another in private. The kind that made them both glow, literlly glow with the light of the Goddess Hylia’s power. You closed your eyes and their silhouette remained burned into your retinas.

“You wretch!” You cried, tear at your own compressed vocal cords, but it did the trick. The two Champions of Hyrule broke apart and acknowledged you.

“What in Hylia’s name?” The Princess gasped, looking horrified as if she only now had gotten a good look at you.

“A new Yiga disguise.” Link guessed. He stared at you like you were a caged animal. “Though much more elaborate. You can drop the spell now, Imposter.”

“No…” Zelda said, stepping towards you like you were a fascinating experiment. One of her stupid machines gone haywire. “This is more than a Yiga disguise. She looks… corrupted. Just like the Guardians.”

“She is infected with Malice?” Link asked, instinctively reaching for the Master Sword.

“I am not!” You shouted. “I am Princess Zelda Bospheromus Hyrule! She is the imposter, Link! Kill her!”

But Link wasn’t buying it. He raised the Blade of Evil's Bane higher, pointing it directly at you. His childhood friend. The love of his life. It was all too much. You sobbed. Disarming both Champions of Hyrule.

“Link, how could you? After everything we have been through? We grew up together. I loved you always.”

“What are you talking about? The Princess and I never grew up together.” Link stated.

“Not the Princess, me!” You spat. “We grew up together in Hateno. We played together as children before you went away. I picked you as my knight because I loved you.”

Link’s eyes widened in recognition. The clouds parted and the sun broke through the red skies. “Malon?”

You could hear a buzzing in your ear. Your whole world seemed to be dropping down a well. The darkness closed in.

“That is not my name…” You said, feeling the darkness bubbling up inside you.

“Its not?” Link blushed. Zelda turned to look at him in disbelief. Link looked away from you, desperately trying to remember you. His every second of hesitation feeding your rage.

“Mar…on?”

“IT’S ZELDA!” You screamed without thinking, making your captors jump back. You choked, unsure if you heard yourself correctly. “Zellll-da…” You tried again, feeling your throat constricting as your own body forced you to say the name. “My name is Zzzz…Zeeee…” You hissed. The pressure from your throat crawling its way up your spine and to your head. You tried to think. Remember your own name. You went back to your childhood and your Mother calling you back inside for supper.

“Zeeelllldaaaa!” Your Mother called.

No, she hadn’t! You knew that. You hadn’t always been Zelda. You were a village girl from Hateno. You didn’t grow up in a castle. Your Father wasn’t a King. The servants that labored for you—no, not for you. For the Princess. You were one of those maids.

“You are Princess Zelda.” Master Kohga said, grinning at you through his bone white mask with the red eye.

“Nooooo!” You shrieked, thrashing about with every thought you fought against. Sir Link and the Princess just looked at you, horrified. They were scared of you now? Why? You were just… the Princess…

You blinked and found yourself staring into a mirror. You were giving yourself such a look of pity, almost on the verge of tears. Your blond hair perfectly framing your face, despite all the running around.

And there was Sir Link, standing right next to you. Rugged hand on your bare shoulder. As dashing as ever, even with all the grim still in his hair. He too looked at you with pity. Such a gallant knight, always concerned for his Princess.

Then you felt soft hands cupping your cheeks. Zelda’s hands, your hands, and she looked at you and said, “Go in peace…”

She began to glow golden, her hair rising off her shoulders. You felt the sting of the light. You turned away from such brightness and looked at Sir Link staring back at you. He didn’t look away even as the light blinded you both.

You loved Link.