Chapter Text
Carlos woke up the same way he did every morning.
The light streaming through the window always woke him up before his alarm. How the sun shined across the open space was one of TK’s favorite parts of the loft when they toured it for the first time.
“This is so much better than that dark cave you called a townhouse, babe,” he said, marveling at how the sun streamed through the large windows that were stationed across the space.
Carlos smirked, looking over at his boyfriend, who was currently looking around the kitchen. “Taking note of this conversation when you're awake at 5am and no amount of coffee in the world will help you.”
TK shrugged, walking up to Carlos, wrapping his arms around the man and planting a kiss on his lips. “Ever heard of curtains?”
Carlos stretched out his hand with his eyes still closed to feel around for TK, finally ghosting over TK’s back as his fingertips found what he was looking for. They always started the night sleeping close, normally with TK tucked perfectly into Carlos’s arms. They would drift apart during the night, but by morning they always found each other again, like there was some type of magnetic force pulling them together at all times.
Carlos blinked his eyes open, finding TK’s face pressed into the pillow inches away from his face, the man close as he could be to the other without actually touching. Carlos shifted, rubbing up and down TK’s back with more pressure, causing the man to stir and slowly feel his eyes open. Carlos loved TK’s eyes at any point of the day, but the cloudy seaglass green that appeared when the man was waking up was his favorite, always accompanied by the sweetest smile and the most beautiful whisper of a “ good morning, baby.”
TK reached out, dragging a hand up and down Carlos’s cheek before opening his mouth to speak.
That’s when Carlos woke up, by himself, in an empty loft that was supposed to be their home.
It had been four months and sixteen days since Carlos last saw TK.
They’d been looking for a new place for months. Owen’s place was getting too crowded, and no apartment they toured seemed right for them. Too small, too far of a commute, the kitchen didn’t have enough storage space. Then, they found the loft, and it was perfect, except for the fact that they were looking for buyers, not renters. Carlos was ready to buy. He’d gotten a good amount from the insurance company after the fire, and had a sizable savings account. He didn’t care if TK didn’t have the funds immediately, or that his credit wasn’t the best. As long as he was with TK, nothing else mattered. So, he put an offer on the loft, and it was accepted three days later.
A few days after that, Carlos brought TK to the loft that was now theirs. He had thought of it as a grand romantic gesture that was supposed to be the start of forever for them. TK apparently had other ideas, walking out with his fists clenched. Carlos hadn’t seen him since.
Carlos stared at the ceiling for several minutes–his new morning routine to help ground himself back to the reality that he was living in. Carlos checked his phone, immediately seeing a winter storm warning –something out of the norm for Austin. He wasn’t too concerned about it; they’d get these alerts every winter and nothing happened except freezing temperatures and mass chaos that he’d undoubtedly be working to control during his shift.
He then checked his texts, a pang in his chest as another day passed without seeing TK among them. The groupchat he was in had been quiet for weeks, he wasn’t sure if they just weren’t speaking, or if they had started another one without him entirely. Still, they reached out constantly.
Nancy Gillian: 126 hang at my place on Thursday. Micheladas, Catan, just like old times.
Nancy Gillian: Really hope to see you there, Carlos.
Paul Strickland: Hope you’re doing alright, brother. We should get together for a run soon.
Paul Strickland: Probably after this ice threat though 🥶
Mateo Chavez: Yo, you coming to Nancy’s on Thursday?
Nancy Gillian: If you can’t make it, maybe we can grab coffee sometime? I miss you. We need to catch up.
Marjan Marwani: 126 is going down today. Hope I see you.
Marjan Marwani: Everyone’s supposed to be there.
Marjan Marwani: If you’re working no problem, maybe I’ll see you anyway 😜👮🏽♀️🚨
Marjan Marwani: Or maybe we can just grab lunch sometime.
Carlos sighed, marking them all as read. He knew they all had good intentions, if their other messages over the last few months had been any indication. The checking in and the offers to get together. They still considered him family, but why didn’t he believe it?
Mama: Are you stocked up for the ice storm? I made too much sopa de pollo.
Mama: Is TK home today? I can bring it over during your shift 😊 don’t work too hard!
Andrea had sent him so many similar messages over the past few months, but this one hurt a little more. No, he hadn’t told his parents about the breakup. He deflected at every family event . TK’s at work, TK had something with Owen, TK’s visiting Gwyn and Jonah in New York. One day he’ll run out of excuses and have to come clean to his parents, but today wasn’t that day.
Carlos Reyes: Both working. We’re good, Ma. Thank you.
Carlos Reyes: Stay safe.
He knew that wouldn’t be enough to satisfy his mother, but it was good enough for him.
He went through the motions: showering, putting on his uniform, making a quick breakfast–not that he was hungry these days–preparing for another day with the lingering feeling that today might be the day he sees TK on a call, at the coffee shop across from the precinct or randomly walking by him on the street. He’s had all of these months to prepare for their first run-in, to make himself numb to the thought of TK Strand, but he knew it would still hurt.
As he left the loft, fussing with the sliding door that he deemed unsafe but TK thought was ‘different’ and ‘a fun alternative’, he took a deep breath, unsure of what the day would hold for him.
***
“So, I’m thinking I’m making my signature micheladas–ginger beer for yours–and then I’ll break out Catan. A proper 126 hang, just like the old times.”
TK looked up at Nancy cautiously, handing her boxes of 18-gauge needles as they restocked the ambulance. “So who did you invite so far?”
The woman continued what she was doing, responding in a casual tone. “Usual suspects.”
TK hummed, expertly throwing a package of gauze at her, which was quickly put in its place. “How usual, and how suspect?”
Nancy rolled her eyes, putting the newest box of needles down to address TK directly. “If you want to know if Carlos is invited, dude, just ask. This is sad.”
TK sighed, leaning against the rig. “Is Carlos coming?”
“He is invited, I do not know if he’s coming,” she replied nonchalantly, knowing that any way she framed it, TK wasn’t going to like her answer.
“Are you kidding me, Nancy?” TK huffed, glaring at the woman in front of him.
“I told you, I’m not taking sides.” It wasn’t a lie. Nancy did miss Carlos and wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone, if he ever answered his phone. She hadn’t seen him since before the break-up, reaching out to him several times with no response.
“You know I’m bringing Tyler, right? Does he know that?”
Nancy put down the box that was in her hands, looking at TK in earnest. “Look, I just think, you know, if you’re going to have a 126 hang, it should be exclusive to the 126 crew.”
“There is no 126 crew. The 126 does not exist anymore, so I think it’s okay if I bend the rules.” TK shot back. “And besides, Carlos was never a part of the 126.”
“Carlos was just as much a part of the 126 as all of us were, TK,” Nancy threw right back. “Tyler didn’t even know it existed.”
“Well, I am–was—and he’s important to me. I want him to meet everyone, especially if this is going to be a regular thing again.”
“Fine,” Nancy threw up her hands, effectively ending the conversation as Tommy walked over after her meeting with their new boss, who Nancy so lovingly referred to as ‘Step-Count Dracula’.
The conversation between TK and Nancy brought up the elephant in the room no one in the 126 wanted to address: TK was dating someone else, and they hated him.
It felt like the entire break-up followed by the new relationship in TK’s life had appeared out of the blue: One day, TK and Carlos weren’t together, and the next, there was a blonde, blue-eyed man taking up the space once held by the dark-haired cop.
With everyone spread out across Austin, conflicting schedules, and no solid place for the group to congregate, there hadn’t been a proper 126 hang in close to a year, so only few had met the man.
Mateo was first, the only other person living in Owen’s house now that the fire captain had run to the Hill Country. No one was even sure if Owen knew there was another person in TK’s life now. Mateo didn’t mind him, mostly because the man had some semblance of Marvel knowledge, brought on by some minor work his tech company did with them, something he not-so-subtly brought up any chance he got. Mateo didn’t mind that TK wasn’t home as much now, moping around like he did for weeks after Carlos disappeared from the house without any explanation besides a mumbled ‘we broke up’ from TK.
Nancy and Tommy had met him once, when the man had picked up TK after a shift. He seemed friendly enough, until he interrupted TK (and Nancy) at every turn, the anger inside the woman bubbling to the surface, not yet reaching the outside world before the men left. This news had spread throughout the found family. Everyone said they weren’t taking sides in the break-up, but with the new addition to TK’s life, it was hard not to do it in secret.
Tyler was everything that Carlos wasn’t. No one was sure if that was planned, or if Carlos wasn’t normally TK’s type. A small part of the contention everyone held for TK’s new beau was simply because he wasn’t Carlos. You didn’t need 20/20 vision to see that the cop and the paramedic were practically made for each other, destined to be together as long as they had existed on the planet.
Tyler had appeared out of the blue one day, somehow cementing himself in TK’s life, soon making it so everything that TK and Carlos shared would be a distant memory.
***
363-H-20, assistance needed at 7245 34th Street, between Guadalupe and Lamar. Possible trespassing. Suspect is a repeat offender to this location. Proceed with caution.
Carlos laughed, knowing from the location he was given that the perpetrator in question was completely harmless. In fact, he knew her quite well.
As he drove to the former site of the 126 firehouse, he noticed small white spots start to flood his windshield. It was somewhat of a surprise that the weather alert he’d gotten this morning was factual, that it was indeed snowing in Austin.
The flurries started falling harder as he pulled up to the firehouse, Carlos watching as the construction crew started packing up for the day. He then set his sights on the main reason he was called to the location: Marjan, decked out in her pink winter best, a wrecking ball near inches away.
Carlos started walking her way, noticing her giggling into her phone and waving goodbye to her millions of followers, putting the phone down before making eye contact with the police officer.
“Hey, Carlos,” she said, leaning against the pole she had attached herself to before turning around, making her wrists visible. They’d been through this several times before.
“Hey, Marjan,” he replied, swiftly placing the handcuffs around her and leading her to the back of his squad car.
Carlos broke the silence a few minutes after he started the drive to the station. The scenario was eerily reminiscent of the multiple times he’d arrested Michelle in the past.
“You better hope they don’t press charges, chica,” he said to the woman in the backseat of his squad car.
“For what,” Marjan shot back, “Exercising my right to peacefully assemble? Let ‘em try.”
“I don’t recall the right to pour sugar in a bulldozer’s gas tank or to cut a crane’s hydraulic lines.”
“Those were totally baseless accusations that set them back two weeks.” she responded, pausing for a moment. “And I just bought us at least another 24 hours, which is plenty of time to figure out the next move.”
Carlos sighed, looking back at Marjan through his rearview mirror. “Marj, there is no next move.”
His words initiated an eyeroll from Marjan, Carlos ignoring the expression before justifying his thought.
“Look, everyone’s devastated about the 126 closing its doors.”
“Really? Because they have a funny way of showing it. I didn’t see anyone else out there, did you?”
Carlos took a deep breath, leveling out his voice and responding to Marjan with as little emotion as possible. “That’s because everyone’s accepted the reality of the situation. Brutal as it is.”
Marjan pressed her lips into a thin line, leaning in towards Carlos, the metal cage of the squad car separating them.
“Are you talking about the 126, or are you talking about you and a certain paramedic?”
Carlos let a tight smile grace his face, even if he knew Marjan couldn’t see it. In truth, he wasn’t sure if he was talking about him and TK. He’d barely accepted the situation himself. He still woke up almost every morning, expecting another person, his person, curled up next to him, tangled up in their sheets that they’d picked out together after moving into a home that was supposed to be for the two of them. The phrase ‘fake it til you make it’ had run through his mind so many times in the last few months to the point where it had become some sort of mantra.
“It’s important to know when a thing is over,” he responded to her, trying his hardest to believe it himself. “When to move on.”
“Give up you mean,” Marjan muttered to herself. “You’re not the only one with that mindset these days.”
She’d heard TK was dating someone new, that he was an absolute asshole of mythical proportions, but she didn’t think breaking the news to his ex-boyfriend while she was in handcuffs in the back of his patrol car was the best place to do it.
“What?” Carlos looked back at Marjan with a quizzical expression.
“We used to be a family,” she responded. “Now look at us.”
“Call it a slightly estranged family,” Carlos chuckled.
“Some more estranged than others.”
Carlos shrugged as they pulled into the station, taking a minute to talk to Marjan, friend-to-friend.
“Do you think it’s a good idea for me to go on Thursday?” He thought back to everyone’s texts. He seemed wanted by most people there, but he knew there was one in particular who would not welcome his presence.
Marjan scooted closer to the cage, a kind expression slowly growing across her face. “Yes, a thousand times yes. We miss you, dude. You’ve been like AWOL for months.”
Carlos took a deep breath. “Is TK coming?”
Marjan rolled her eyes. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
He rolled his eyes, glancing back at the woman in his backseat. “Yes or no, Marjan.”
“I don’t know.”
“Very helpful, thank you,” Carlos took the opportunity to start getting out of his car so he could process Marjan inside the station.
“What’s one person not wanting you there versus four wanting you there?” she asked Carlos as he opened up the back door, unlocking her handcuffs in the meantime. She wasn’t the hardened criminal the construction workers thought her to be. She could be marginally comfortable as she sat in the holding cell and waited for Paul or Nancy to bail her out.
Carlos considered that for a second, before coming to his own conclusion that while four people, people he considered to be his friends, wanted him there, the weight of TK likely not wanting him there won tenfold. Maybe in the future he and TK can meet up, talk things out, make sure they can remain civil for the sake of their friend group. That time wasn’t coming this week.
“Raincheck. Promise.”
“Whatever,” she scoffed, rubbing her wrists before crossing her arms and looking away from Carlos. “Nothing I haven’t heard before.”
Carlos leaned against the car’s door frame, shooting a soft smile Marjan’s way. “Maybe when you’re sprung we can meet up for coffee? Next Monday? I can meet you and Nancy at Houndstooth.”
Marjan looked up, a look of nervousness in her eyes that did not match the smile currently growing. She and Nancy hadn’t seen each other much since the splitting of the 126, but they texted often, and Marjan knew this would most likely be the place they’d break the news to Carlos that TK had moved on with the Tech Bro From Hell.
“I’m not paying.”
“It’ll be my treat anyway,” he responded, taking her hand and helping her out of the car, leading her into the station. “Wouldn’t be the first time I bought coffee for a member of the 126 after arresting them.”
***
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Nancy said as she stripped the sheets off of the gurney while TK scrubbed the inside of the ambulance. They’d just dropped off their last patient, a young man nearly decapitated by ice, miraculously making a full recovery after Tommy’s quick thinking in the field, but not before his blood splattered all over the inside of the rig.
“What, that the guy somehow managed to get blood into the microbial scrub bin?” TK inspected said bin in his hand, blood specks somehow embedded in the plastic no matter how hard he scrubbed. “I mean, we’re gonna have to throw all of these out too.”
Nancy glanced over at TK. “That dude was basically decapitated, and is going to make a full recovery. It’s kinda awesome, the power of modern medicine.”
“Yeah, and a puke bucket filled with snow.”
“It’s funny how it works though, isn’t it?” Nancy replied, smiling over at her colleague. “In the rig…as in life?” her smile soon disappeared before she continued. “Once you pinpoint what the problem is, you’re already halfway to solving it.”
TK sighed, looking up at the roof of the rig before wiping it down with a cloth. He assumed where this was going, where it was always going any time he and Nancy got a chance to talk. She was constantly pressing TK for an explanation,one that was frankly none of her business. TK knew the reason why he was so closed off when it came to Carlos, and in return, all of his friends.
He blew it up, and there was no fixing it. So, TK moved on as best he could, doing what he did last time: find the first person who made eyes at him, and fuck his brains out.
Tyler was … fine.
Fine enough.
It had been a couple of months since they started seeing each other, TK using Tinder for the first time in his life. It was only meant to be a series of hookups, a distraction, but the man had a good job, paid for meals, and didn’t mind that TK technically lived with his dad. He was decent in bed, the conversation wasn’t terrible, and Tyler didn’t seem to mind that TK never spent the night, or that he rarely called him by his first name for reasons that were glaringly obvious to TK and entirely unknown to Tyler.
But he wasn’t Carlos. And TK didn’t think he ever would be.
He could never let Nancy know that, though. He needed to keep up with the facade that he had moved on, that maybe Tyler would eventually be his forever. IPeople married people with the same first name all the time, right?
“I guess,” TK finally replied to her, snapping out of his spiral. “But you know, sometimes the problem isn’t as simple as a perforated carotid or a virtual decapitation.”
“Right, but that’s why we roll as a team, right?” Nancy sprayed down the gurney again to wipe off the never-ending blood spatter that coated the rig, as well as everything in it. “When we put our heads together, there’s no mess we can’t clean up.”
TK looked over at Nancy, rolling his eyes as he dropped the cloth in his hand. He’d had enough.
“I’m not telling you why Carlos and I broke up, Nancy,” he responded flatly.
“Why are you being so annoying about this?!”
“Why are you so obsessed with this? I’m literally dating someone else,” TK used those words to cover how he really felt. “Drop it.”
The breakup was allowed to fill TK’s thoughts all day, replaying in his head as he tried to sleep at night. Going out to dinner with Tyler and doing a double take when he looked up from his food seeing blonde hair instead of dark curls. TK wanted to turn back time, or at least figure out a way to talk to Carlos about getting his name off of the deed.
“Because, I love you guys together,” Nancy replied, “Everyone loves you guys together. Also, the mystery is killing me.”
TK leaned in, green eyes staring Nancy down as she leaned in, hoping to get the scoop she’d been clamoring at for months.
“There is no mystery. We were together, now we aren’t,” he shrugged. “Nothing ever stays the same, Nance,” TK echoed the words he once told Carlos during a pivotal moment of their relationship. He wondered if Gabriel and Andrea would get to know Carlos’s next boyfriend existed as soon as they were official, instead of months down the line. Thinking about that stung, but there was still a small amount of pride swelling in TK’s chest as he thought about how he helped Carlos get to that point.
“I’m dating someone else. Carlos can date someone else if he wants to. The best thing we can all do is move on.” TK wasn’t sure if he believed those words himself. “You got a little schmutz there, by the way,” TK changed the subject, pointing to the smear of dried blood on Nancy’s neck.
“You suck!”
TK grinned at her as he went back to scrubbing the roof of the rig before the radio squawked to life from the front seat of the ambulance.
“Paragon 119, please respond to Pike’s Furniture Warehouse. Minor cuts and bruises reported. Store currently being used as a warming center after the Providence Pasture Church roof collapse.”
“Thirteen minutes out, Dispatch,” TK replied to Grace via radio as he jumped into the driver’s seat, Nancy following behind in the passenger seat, Tommy in the back.
“Thank you, 119.”
A quiet filled the rig as they drove towards their destination, TK deciding to be the one to break it.
“Anyone else respond to the hang invite on Thursday?” he tried to ask it as innocently as possible, though he knew Nancy would see right through him.
Nancy sighed, crossing her arms and looking out the window. “Carlos said he can’t come,” she whipped her head around, glaring at TK. She hadn’t even heard it from Carlos himself; Marjan had texted her earlier after her brush with Officer Reyes. “Hope you’re happy.”
“How is this my fault?” he exclaimed, knowing it very much was his fault.
“Maybe I wouldn’t think it was your fault if you would tell me why–”
“There’s nothing to tell, Nance! Drop it!”
Nancy scoffed, impervious to a seemingly angry TK. It reminded her of a kitten trying to be tough. So adorable, so silly, not threatening in the slightest. She jokingly held her hands up, the motion making it look like she was backing off, letting silence fill the rig once more.
“You know you’re going to have to face him eventually, whether it’s on a call or at a hang.”
TK rolled his eyes, focusing on the road as they pulled up to the furniture store. “Yeah, well, we’ll get there when we get there.”
As they walked towards the call, TK noticed an APD patrol SUV out of the corner of his eye, seeing the 105 printed on the side of the bumper.
Carlos’s patrol car.
Shit.
His stomach lurched with the thought of having to come face-to-face with Carlos so soon.
Nancy came up behind TK with a shit-eating grin. “Guess we’re there, huh, bud?”
TK rolled his eyes, going silent as clenched his jaw and focused on the task at hand, his job.
“Let’s just get this over with,” he mumbled, opening the door to the warehouse and following Tommy inside.
***
“Where can we set up triage?”
Carlos recognized the warm voice coming from behind him to be Tommy Vega’s, which meant…
Carlos turned around, coming face-to-face with Tommy, Nancy, and TK. Carlos tried to keep his composure, seeing his ex-boyfriend for the first time in months.
“Oh, I called in cuts and bruises,” Carlos stuttered out, looking behind Tommy and towards TK.
He looked the same, and it drove Carlos mad.
Same fluffy brown hair, same gorgeous green eyes, though there was a sadness to them that Carlos hadn’t seen in months. It broke his heart, knowing that he was most likely the cause of it. “I didn’t know dispatch was sending in private units.” Carlos looked away and out towards the gathering crowd taking refuge in the store.
“City’s spread thin today.”
Carlos looked up, knowing that voice anywhere, the clipped tones of what used to be his favorite sound in the world sending his heart to his stomach.
“Clearly,” Carlos replied. An awkward silence fell between them before he remembered exactly why they were all there.
“Well, you could just, uh…” Carlos trailed off, nearly losing his ability to speak around TK.
“There might be some space, in the, in the….”
“Just use the dining room display,” the store owner interrupted, nodding in the direction of the area.
“Yup,” Carlos responded, feeling the blush creep up his cheeks. He was hoping to be able to keep it together the first time he saw TK, but his mind clearly had other plans.
“Thank you,” Tommy smiled warmly in his direction, patting Carlos on the back as she headed towards the dining room display.
“So how many people are there?”
“25 area residents, three church volunteers…” Carlos went through the list in his head over and over, realizing something wasn’t right.
Lindsey . The shy red-haired church volunteer who had greeted him the first time he brought those men to the warming center. He looked around the room, noticing she was nowhere to be found.
“Carlos, you good?” Tommy brought him back to reality. He glanced at her, then TK, who was eyeing him cautiously.
“Someone’s missing,” he mumbled, turning to rush out of the store, thankful for the reprieve from having to spend another minute around TK.
“Where’s he off to?”
TK glanced at Nancy. “How am I supposed to know?”
Nancy shrugged. “I don’t know, figured you would still have some semblance of a Carlos sixth sense.”
“Nope,” he responded, popping the p, “I don’t know him anymore.”