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[Stardate 54974.6. Neelix to Seven.]
Good time to finish our Kadis-kot game?
[End transmission]
[Stardate 54977.8. Neelix to Seven.]
Seven! It’s me, Neelix. Feeling like a chat?
[End transmission]
[Stardate 54979.7. Neelix to Seven.]
Seven, is something going on? You’ve got me worried.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 54979.8. Neelix to Voyager.]
Neelix to Voyager, please respond.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 54985.9. Neelix to Seven.]
Neelix again. In the mood for some Kadis-kot?
Yeah, I thought so. Guess Voyager’s going through some spatial anomaly or other. Not to worry; I’ve put the board aside! Just give me a call, and we’ll pick up where we left off.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 54998.1. Neelix to Seven.]
Seven?
[End transmission]
[Stardate 55008.3. Neelix to Seven.]
Well, I can see Voyager’s still experiencing some communications problems. Have you tried reinitializing the subspace deflectors? I don’t actually know what that means; it just sounded like something you’d say.
But no sense keeping you from the good news! I wanted you to be the first to know. I asked Dexa to marry me, and she said yes! We don’t have a date set yet; it probably won’t be for years, what with the mining operation and the rate at which we’re getting our defenses up to speed. But it’s a step in the right direction! I don’t expect Voyager to show up, of course, but you’re all subspace-invited!
[End transmission]
[Stardate 55033.2. Neelix to Seven.]
It’s been three weeks since I heard from you, Seven. At the risk of making a nuisance of myself, what’s going on?
Dexa thinks it’s a good sign. She says you probably found a wormhole or something and made a lot of progress all at once, so the subspace signal’s just taking longer to get to me. Remarkable woman. Always sees the light side of the garlanic tree. I don’t deserve her. But it doesn’t stop me wishing I had one of Voyager’s fancy hyper-subspace communications systems!
Here’s hoping your new region of space has bountiful dilithium and friendly worlds! I still have our Kadis-kot game set up and ready to go whenever I hear from you.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 55238.7. Neelix to Seven.]
Two months, Seven. Dexa caught me loading supplies onto the Baxial the other day. She reminded me that my old ship is the best defense we have against Nocona’s people until we get our new warship space-worthy. I do know that, I do. I didn’t really mean to come after you. But two months -
[End transmission]
[Stardate 55484.6. Neelix to Seven.]
If you won’t give me good news, then I’ll give it to you! Dexa and I are expecting a baby! And before you ask, yes, we did go ahead with the marriage ceremony. Sorry Voyager couldn’t be there. We’d both wanted a big wedding, but once we found out we had someone on the way, we figured there was no sense putting it off any longer!
[End transmission]
[Stardate 55875.0. Neelix to Seven.]
It’s been a year to the day since the last time I stood on Voyager. Can you believe it? I don’t know why I’ve been feeling so sad today. I have a beautiful wife and a wonderful child and a baby on the way, and some part of me still wishes I was out there with you, wherever that is. Stewing leola root and saving the galaxy.
I meant to tell you - I lost our Kadis-kot game last week. Brax and I were playing tag in the living room and I guess we got a little too rough because Brax fell into the board and knocked it over. Poor kid. I mean, he wasn’t hurt or anything, but I think he saw I was upset because he started crying right then and there. I tried to make sure he knew I wasn’t mad, that I knew he hadn’t done it on purpose. But I don’t know what it was; I cried all night, and I haven’t been really feeling myself since.
Anyway, I think I remember where all of my pieces were but I can’t remember three of yours, and that’s strange, isn’t it, seeing as it’s sat in our home for almost a year. Just me being scatterbrained again. If you still have your board set up, could you remind me?
[End transmission]
[Stardate 56141.5. Neelix to Seven.]
The best of news! Please welcome the newest member of Voyager’s extended family, Astris! I’m sending photos along, of course. She was born yesterday at 0400 hours with barely any fuss - and very little effort from me, needless to say!
You may be wondering about the name - I wanted something to celebrate Voyager, but I didn’t want to single anyone out. I did suggest Kathryn, but Dexa thought it sounded odd. She liked the Starfleet motto, though; said she thought the words sounded almost Talaxian. So Astris it was!
As for godparents: You’ll understand if we pick someone a little closer to home, right? I still consider every person on Voyager a member of my family, of course. Maybe you’re all… star-parents? I guess I’ll work on that one.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 56798.9. Neelix to Seven.]
I was a little worried Brax would feel left out once Astris arrived, but he’s practically been tripping over himself to welcome her. Doesn’t seem to be jealous at all. He really is a good-natured kid. It’s strange; I keep forgetting that he isn’t really mine. But then again, I guess I have more claim to him than anyone, except Dexa, of course.
So between my wife and my son, Astris seems well taken care of. And we just finished work on the Rinax , our new warship. Next to her, the Baxial looks like a delivery shuttle. Thanks again for the specs you gave me before I left; we never could have figured out the photon torpedoes without you. Anyway, the colony’s well protected for the time being. All this to say, I think I can finally afford to venture out, try to find any clues of where Voyager got off to! I told Dexa I wouldn’t be gone more than a month, but truth be told, I’m looking forward to some time on my own. I haven’t been alone in space in, what, nine years? But it’s like you Humans say about riding bikes - once you learn it, you never forget!
[End transmission]
[Stardate 56815.2. Neelix to Seven.]
I’m here. I’m here, Seven, and I’m so sorry. All of you. I didn’t think - I mean, I always thought -
I’m sorry, I just can’t.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 57802.6. Neelix to Seven.]
One year. Well, three years since I left you, more or less. One year since I followed your warp trail to where it ended. There must have been debris from a hundred cubes, Seven. More than a hundred. You all must have done the Captain proud.
I don’t even know why I’m sending this, but I guess it’s to tell you that Dexa and I are expecting another child. We found out three months ago, and the longer it went the stranger not telling you felt, even though it didn’t make any sense. I want to be a good father to the little one. And Astris is almost two, and Brax is practically a teenager. If I can’t be there for them, then what was the point of leaving Voyager in the first place? But I don’t know, Seven. How many times can a person lose their whole world and still be expected to keep breathing?
[End transmission]
[Stardate 58377.9. Neelix to Seven.]
Hi, Seven, it’s me again. I, uh, things are a bit sticky right now. Dexa went into labor two days ago, and there have been complications - she still hasn’t delivered. I keep thinking if we just had Voyager’s sickbay, or the Doctor, or some of your nanoprobes - but I guess this is the best I can do. All right. Here goes.
I don’t think I ever gave you a proper thank you for saving my life. I’ve always been grateful, Seven, don’t get me wrong, but things got so complicated, and I kept feeling like there was something of me that didn’t come back. I guess I still feel that way, truth to tell. I thought I was supposed to be dead, that I didn’t belong on Voyager. I don’t know if I believe in any of that stuff anymore, but now I’m still alive and Voyager is - well - gone.
Sorry, Seven, this is coming out all wrong. If you were here, you’d probably tell me to go talk to Commander Chakotay. And maybe I should be hailing him, to be honest; I know he’d help me if he could. Maybe he’d come to me as a Talaxian furfly and tell me to trust the Great Spirit that pervades the universe. Sorry again, I’m not - well anyway, I don’t want to talk to him, I want to talk to you. He always seemed like he had everything figured out; it got intimidating. And no offense, but you always seemed just as confused as I was. Didn’t you say you weren’t sure what would happen to you after you - erm - died, since you’d been cut off from the collective? So what I’m saying is, I am your collective, Seven. I’m all that’s left, as far as I know. And I want to keep Voyager a part of my family, I want to tell my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren about the crew and who you were and what you did, but I need you to come through for me here. Please. I never asked you for a miracle when you saved me before, but I’m asking now.
That’s the nurse, Seven, I have to go-
[End transmission]
[Stardate 58380.8. Neelix to Seven.]
Seven, I’d like you to meet Exindrin! Isn’t he the most beautiful thing you ever saw? His name means seventh . Bit of a confusing name for a third child, I admit, but Dexa and I were in total agreement. She’s still resting, but she’s expected to make a full recovery.
And Seven, thank you. Not just for whatever strings you pulled for my wife and baby, but what you did for me seven years ago. I know I can never repay you, but you can bet I’m going to try anyway.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 58969.1. Neelix to Seven.]
Here we go again! I’m happy to announce that Dexa’s pregnant! I’m a little scared too; I guess you know why. But fingers crossed that you won’t have to bail us out again! A ship of Brenari refugees arrived two months ago, and they had a doctor with them - she’s totally overhauled what we’d been calling a hospital. She ran all kinds of tests on Dexa and she thinks she knows what went wrong last time; she’s got Dexa on more supplements and genetic therapies than I really like to think about! I guess I didn’t tell you that our little neighborhood’s been taking off - the Brenari were the biggest group so far, but we’ve had other ships and shuttles trickling in; we’ve had to expand the southern tunnels just to make room for everyone! I think the Captain would be pleased to see our little asteroid; all these different species working together. It’s becoming quite the metropolis!
All that being said, Dexa’s due in eight months, so if you could keep a special eye on her then, I’d appreciate it.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 59626.6. Neelix to Seven.]
TWINS!
And I thought having one infant was hard! Honestly, Seven, I don’t know what Dexa and I would do without Brax. Can you believe he’s fourteen? We’re trying not to lean on him too much, but we only have four hands between the two of us, and we have the same number of little ones! I’m not sure even the Captain would take those odds. Anyway, we decided that they’ll be the last - I pointed out that colony populations are supposed to grow quickly, but Dexa was afraid we’d saturate the gene pool at this rate!
Ah, Seven, Dexa says my mind’s going, and she’s right - I almost forgot the picture! Here are Roxin and Alixia. Named for Dexa’s first husband and, of course, my sister. It’s like I always say, the people you’ve lost have a way of finding you again.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 60021.3. Neelix to Seven.]
Seven, remember what I said about being done growing the family? Well… whoops! We just had to fit one more in. But I had an appointment with Dr. Nirda and she says this really will be the last one, if you catch my meaning!
[End transmission]
[Stardate 61007.6. Neelix to Seven.]
The darndest thing, Seven - I completely forgot to tell you that Alnix arrived safe and sound! He’s about to turn three months old now. Dexa picked the name this time; it’s her hometown on Talax. Astris just started going to school, and Brax is talking about wanting to study at the University of Ledos, and I don’t think I’ve had a full night’s sleep in about five years - I’m sorry, Seven, it totally got past me. I hope you’re not too offended.
But Alnix! Would you believe me if I told you that he has the soul of a certain Vulcan we both know? He barely cried when he was born; he looked more offended than anything! And since then he’s spent most of his time staring at me like I’m the most ridiculous person he’s seen in his life. In fairness, that might be true! I know he’s going to turn out to be brilliant, but ugh, Seven, the amount of effort it’s going to take to convince him to have a little fun…
[End transmission]
[Stardate 64260.6. Neelix to Seven.]
Has it really been three years?
You’ll probably be pleased to hear that I was elected mayor of New Talax - that’s what we’re calling our home, by the way; it was starting to feel strange not having a real name for it, now that our asteroid is one of the biggest cities in the sector. Anyway, I still don’t think I’m cut out for the job, but Dexa says modesty makes a great leader!
We just sent Brax off to college. He ended up choosing a school in the Clevari system, which is much farther away than I’d wanted, but Dexa says it’s his choice. At least I know there’s one thing keeping him here - right before he boarded the shuttlecraft, Arva - that’s Dr. Nirda’s daughter - walked right up to him and kissed him! We were all quite beside ourselves, we had no idea! I hear they’re staying in contact though, so keep those fingers crossed - it’s always good to have a doctor in the family!
[End transmission]
[Stardate 68752.1. Neelix to Seven.]
Everyone here knows about it already but I’m just so excited I think I might explode if I don’t tell someone, so here goes: New Talax is a member of the Planetary Miners’ Guild! We just finished our negotiations. With Nocona’s daughter leading the opposing delegation, if you can believe it! We got very favorable terms, if I do say so myself. But I mean, all the neighboring systems know we have the best ore in the sector - it was only a matter of time before the rest of the Guild learned to see the benefits of working together. Now we have a mutual defense pact with the same people we’ve been skirmishing with for nearly fourteen years. But if there’s one thing I learned from being on Voyager, sometimes life is just like that!
[End transmission]
[Stardate 70512.0. Neelix to Seven.]
Dr. and Mr. Nirda Dadrin request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter,
Arva Dadrin,
To
Brax, son of Dexa
On
The three-hundred and fifty-ninth day of the seventeenth New Talax Year; five o’clock in the evening
At
New Talax Civic Center Reception Hall
Dinner and dancing to follow.
Obviously I don’t expect you to show up, Seven, but I’d be remiss not to invite you and the rest of Voyager. There will be a table set aside for guests of the groom’s father, in whatever capacity you might want to occupy it.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 74111.9. Neelix to Seven.]
Bless grandchildren, Seven! I wish I could have skipped straight to being a grandfather. But I guess you know as well as I do that there are intermediate steps to that one! I’m sending a photo of me with Brax’s and Arva’s new little one, Eldna. Isn’t she sweet? I think she looks just like Dexa. I, unfortunately, look quite the worse for wear, now that I’m seeing this photo again! Two terms as mayor of the most prosperous city in the sector will do that to a person! I swear a switch flipped when I turned sixty. I decided when Eldna was born that I wouldn’t run for re-election; I much prefer doting on my children and grandchild! Here’s to many more little ones - partly because I think Brax is finally sick of hearing tales of my time on Voyager. He’s still too good of a sport to let it show, though.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 80035.2. Neelix to Seven.]
Hey, Seven. I hope you’re out there, that you can hear this. I don’t normally think about it, you know. I guess I fell out of the habit of sending you these messages. It was nice to imagine that you could see me, whether I called or not.
Except for the big stuff.
Alixia died, Seven. Mining accident. Just a couple hours ago. Everyone on New Talax knows about it, so you’re the only person I think I’m supposed to tell. It’s one of those things I feel like I’m supposed to keep from you, like I’m supposed to give it time, supposed to find the right way to say it. But how could I say it that would make the fact of it any different?
And it’s still so recent that I feel like I could change it, somehow. I had breakfast with her this morning. I should be able to just reach back through time, push her a couple inches to the left, I bet you could do it if you were here, but the more time passes the harder it is to change the past. I can feel it solidifying, hardening into this shell around me, and I’m not asking you to change it this time, I’m just asking you to listen.
I think I spent my time on Voyager playing at being a hero. I’d like to think I was helpful. There were times I even fancied myself a diplomat, or a soldier. But you were all freeing oppressed peoples and saving worlds, and I was the guy serving dinner at the end of the day, trying to forget all the dead people he’d ever known.
She was only twenty. People keep saying that, like it makes some kind of difference one way or the other, and all I can think is how much easier it is to lose people than to find them. Twenty years from her, from me, from Dexa, from everyone on New Talax to form this miracle, and it’s all gone in an instant, like it never happened. You would probably say that that’s the way the universe works - stochastic, that’s the word you always used. Well, I never signed up for this universe.
I’m wondering, now, if I’ve wasted my whole life trying to recover what I lost. The people who leave us can’t be replaced, Seven. We grasp for them, see them in shadows and tricks of light, but they’re never what we wished them to be.
New Talax has been prosperous. Safe. If the Guiding Tree exists, there will be so few people who knew Alixia who could greet her there. I wonder, if it’s in your power, if you could find her. Just to keep her company until I catch up. That’s all I’m asking.
I think I’m supposed to be with my family now. I have to go.
I asked you once how many times I could lose everything and still go on living. Well, Seven, I’m at three.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 84771.5. Neelix to Seven.]
Hi, Seven. I guess I’ve been a little distracted lately, but Dexa can always tell when I need to call you. She says I get this look like I’m fifty thousand light years away. She finally threw up her hands this morning and said that if I didn’t send you a message, she would.
I guess there’s a lot to update you on! Brax and Arva had another child, a boy. They named him Alixion. I think they were hoping I’d be pleased, but I’m still not sure how I feel about it; I go back and forth on how much of the past I bother to hold onto these days. Even so, he is just the sweetest baby! And you wouldn’t believe how fast Eldna’s grown; she’s already beating me at Kadis-kot! I think Brax appreciates having me and Dexa as part-time babysitters - of course, we’re only trying to pay him back for his help with our little ones. We don’t really want to be around the grandbabies at all, right, Seven?
Astris got married as well; she and her wife just opened a restaurant in the city center, and it’s really taking off. Exindrin’s living off-world right now, and honestly I can’t keep track of what he gets up to! But he always makes it back home for Prixim. Speaking of which, Astris says that now there’s a professional chef in the family, I won’t have to cook this Prixim! I have to say, everyone else in the family seems a little too excited about that!
Roxin still misses his sister. We all do. But he’s making a life for himself as well; he joined the New Talax Defense Fleet and he’s getting to be quite a pilot! I think he could give our Mister Paris a run for his money, from what I hear! Oh, and you’ll be tickled to hear this - Alnix was apprenticed to a sculptor a couple systems over! I know, right? He’s always been such a serious child, we fully expected him to go into law or economics or something, but he came marching up to us one day and told us that he’d made his decision and his shuttle ticket was bought and there was nothing we could say to change his mind. Well, we had no intention of changing his mind, we were proud as anything! Just a bit surprised, is all. Anyway, he’s been working on something he calls Ores Across the Guild - oh, I have one of his latest pieces right here, see? I confess I don’t really understand it, but the people who know about such things say it’s quite impressive!
And I just celebrated my seventieth birthday! Dexa threw me a surprise party, and I still don’t know how she managed to pull it off; everyone in the sector must have been in on it except me! It was an odd experience, Seven, to have all these hundreds of people I know - or who know me, at least - all packed into the city center. I kept thinking there was no way this many people would be willing to show up to some old fart’s birthday party, and at the same time counting all the people who weren’t there. Whole eras of my life that weren’t represented.
You, the Captain, Dexa, the kids, you all gave me my life back, in some way or other. And it seems it’s taken me seventy years to realize that’s not enough; that it’s still up to me to reclaim it. Day after day. Sometimes hour after hour.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about my decision to leave Voyager. Some days I’m not sure why I did it. Some days I’m not even sure it was the right decision. But whether I meant to or not, I somehow ended up with what I wanted. On Voyager we could swoop in, save the day, and leave again and never look back, like we were heroes from one of Naomi’s bedtime stories, and maybe you or the Captain could have kept going like that forever, but I couldn’t. I wanted, just once, to make myself part of the story. To see how it ended. I think I might have been the only person on Voyager who could see it from both sides, both the knight and the damsel. Then again, maybe you’d understand that better I do. I think I know which role you’d choose for yourself, but if you’d let your old friend Neelix give you a piece of free advice:
Seven, the best part of seeing how it ends is knowing that it doesn’t.
[End transmission]
[Stardate 54975.1. Seven to Neelix.]
Voyager returned to Earth on Stardate 54974.3. I apologize that we were not able to contact you beforehand, but our circumstances changed rather abruptly. I will provide you with the details - as well as messages from the crew and their families - in my next transmission. However, I estimate that it will take 31.86 years for this message to reach you by subspace. I anticipate that this will cause you undue stress, and for that I also apologize. That being said, I hope you have continued to send messages in the direction of the Alpha Quadrant. We will be eager to hear from you in 31.86 years.
At the risk of making this message nothing but apologies, I must also express my regret at missing our Kadis-kot game. However, to use your words, better late than never.
Red, grid eight eleven.
[End transmission]