Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Phil stared at the kid standing at his door.

There was a kid in front of his door.

Phil couldn’t quite believe what he saw. There was a kid. A kid with bright blue eyes. The kind of blue that the sky was on a good day. It was a beautiful blue. An honest and kind blue. It shone so brightly at him. The blue warmed his heart and made him feel like anything was possible. It was a magical blue. A perfect blue. It was the same blue that was on the top tip of the kids' wings. The wings blended from the bright and kind blue into a dark, deep and strong blue. The kind of blue you found at the bottom of the ocean. The two blues were a perfect mix and Phil would be impressed by it if it wasn’t for the condition of the kids feathers and wings in general.

“Sir? Might I ask for some money? I am only missing a few cents so I can afford dinner at the shelter.” The kids voice was sore and now that Phil gave him an actual look over. Phil noticed how skinny and sick he really looked. He must have been skipping more than one meal recently. Phil just stared at him for a bit before his eyes went back to the wings..

Most of the feathers were either fully out of place or wildly ruffled up. There were some broken ones too and there seemed to be so many that just hung on for dear life. If the kids wings were in this condition out of pure stress or because no one cared for them wasn’t quite clear but the fact that they were, wasn’t good. Phil was worried. He felt his fingers itch to preen the wings. His own wings puffed up and twitched slightly. He started fiddling with his hands to stop himself from doing anything that might scare the boy off.

He pulled himself back to the now and got his eyes back to the sky blue. “You need money, kid?” Phil gave him a forced smile and then pulled out his wallet. He needed to help the kid but he couldn’t scare it away. He needed a plan.

“Yes, sir. Only a bit would help. I would be very thankful.” The boy sounded so polite and something about this teen begging for money made Phil’s inside turn upside down and make him want to puke it all out. A kid shouldn’t be like this. It should be free and happy. It shouldn’t be begging for money and it surely shouldn’t have wings in such a terrible condition. “I think I might have some around here.” He started searching his wallet for a bit more than just a few coins and he almost chirped when he found a 20er bill. He smiled, nodded and pulled it out.

“Here kid,” He held it towards the boy, whose eyes widened and he immediately raised his hands to say no but Phil just held it there, waiting for the boy to take it. “Get something nice, yeah?” Phil smiled at him and watched as the boys face changed. He must have realised the opportunity and then snapped the money out of Phils grip. He held the money close to his chest, as if protecting it from being taken away and Phil took his hand back. He smiled at the image and noticed how the boys wings had subtly wrapped around the boys body. He was shielding himself from being robbed and it made Phil only smile wider.

“Thank you so much sir.” The boy mumbled as he scanned the bill, checking if it was really real.

“Come again if you need more, kid.” Phil said, still smiling and watching as the boys eyes widened. He didn’t talk back though. He just accepted and there was a ghost of a smile on
the boys face. He then nodded and left without another word. Phil watched as the boys wings fluttered happily and then closed the door. He turned sound and was met with the face of his son, Wilbur.

“Did you just give that guy more money than he can probably count?” Wilbur asked, a small smile on his lips, as if he had already seen through Phil. Phil chuckled, walked away from the door and then shook his head. “No idea what you are talking about.” Phil lied and then glanced at Wilbur. Wilbur had a smile on his face, nodded and then left the topic be.

Phil could only pray that the boy would come back for more money. Just thinking about his wings made Phil want to run after him, grab him and bring him into his house. He didn’t want one of his own species to walk around like that. Was there someone taking care of the teen?
_______

The boy hadn’t come back yet. It had been 9 days and there was no sign of him. Phil couldn’t help but be worried. He couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the kid. He was scared that he was dead in some alley, that was realistically seen very unlikely but still. Phil couldn’t help but feel uneasy at the fact that he hadn’t seen those wings anywhere.

Yes, he had been out searching for him. Yes, Phil had asked random people on the street if they saw a boy of a certain height and with a certain eye colour. Yes, Phil was losing his mind over this.

No, Phil was not gonna give up.

Wilbur and Technoblade had noticed his increased stress level as well. How could they not? He was losing and leaving feathers all over the apartment. There was no way they couldn’t have noticed. They even tried to cheer him up with game nights, movie nights or even sleeping in his nest but nothing calmed down Phils nerves. It didn’t even calm him as the boys preened his wings or when they cooked his favourite meal for him.
_______

There was a knock on the door. Phil turned his head to the door, groaned and then stood up from his place on the couch. He went for the door and opened it.

There was an instant smile on his face when he saw the sky blue that he had been hoping to meet again. It was the boy.

“Hello, sir.” He said in a voice way too small for him. His wings were safely tucked behind his back but Phil could still see a few of the broken feathers. His wings twitched anxiously once again at the thought of their current state. “I, uh, need some money?” It was more of a question than anything and Phil couldn’t be happier to hear those words.

“Phil is fine, mate.” He said as he stepped to the side and gestured for the boy to enter. “Come in, let me grab my wallet.” He wasn’t about to let such a good opportunity slide. He was gonna take it and run with it. The boy hesitated, looked at Phil, at the space for him to step in and then bit his lip. It took him a bit but he stepped in, one foot after another. He watched as Phil went to get his wallet, which he had left on the kitchen table on purpose, and checked his surroundings. His eyes wandered across the whole room, taking in any detail and then he spoke again.

“I’m Tommy.” Phil’s wings fluttered happily when he heard the boys name. He turned back to him and opened his wallet. “Well, hello Tommy. Nice to meet you.”

He gave the boy a 10 this time. He let him know that he can come again and with that Tommy had basically run out of the door, screaming a quick thank you and disappearing for once again.

Phil smiled as he closed the door and this time Techno spooked him.

“You have a problem, old man.”
_______

This time, it took Tommy only four days to return.

Phil had been cooking when he heard the familiar knock on his door and he instantly dropped everything to go to the door. He smiled when his sons shot him knowing glances and then opened the door hastily.

“Hi, Phil.” Tommy said with a cheeky grin. They were growing closer and Phil couldn’t help but return the smile. “May I have some money, please?” Tommy was still polite but he started acting more comfortable and that was more than enough for now.

“Of course, Tommy.” Phil pulled out some money and before handing him the money, he pulled it back and he watched as regret and horror crossed Tommy’s face. His heart shattered at the terrified look on the boys face and he immediately started talking.

“Actually, would you like some food?” He smiled at Tommy and the boy just gave him a confused look. “I was just cooking up some potatoes, would you like some?” The hungry look in Tommy’s eyes gave it away. He wanted it. He wanted it so desperately. “I can pack it in a tupper, if you’d like?” Like that, Tommy didn’t have to stay but Phil would still know that he had something warm to eat. It was a master plan. Tommy wouldn’t turn down such a chance.

“That sounds really good, yes, please.” Phil nodded, giving Tommy the money and then running to fill a tupper with some potatoes, meat and sauce. He filled it with as much as he could and ignored Wilburs teasing and Technos knowing looks. He closed it with the lid and got back to the door, Tommy was still there. He was staring at the bill in his hands and his pupils widened when he saw and smelled the tupper, he grabbed it in one smooth motion and held it close to his chest. He thanked Phil and went off, wings fluttering happily as he did so.

Phil closed the door with a content sigh.

“You’re attached, dad.” Wilbur said, smiling smugly at his father.

“Shut up, you little shit.”
_______

The next time that Tommy came, Phil invited him in. He sat Tommy down on the couch and gave him leftovers from the night before. Tommy was very cautious about it all and smelled the food before actually eating it. His wings condition had worsened and his blond hair was knotted and dirty. There was also dirt on his cheeks and knees and Phil wondered what had happened.

He watched as Tommy ate and smiled when he realised that he was finally in his home. He was safe and would never have to leave unless he really wanted to, even when Phil didn’t really want him to. He would probably protest and beg Tommy to stay. Phil had gained his trust.

“Tommy?” Phil asked, voice small and eyes trained on the boys wings. The boy only hummed in acknowledgment and turned his head to Phil as his cheeks were filled with food and there was some smeared on the corner of his lips.

“Can I preen your wings?” The question was asked slowly and carefully as if to not spook the teen, who swallowed all the food in his mouth at once and turned his whole attention to Phil. He seemed to think very hard and Phil felt like he could hear every single thought going through his head. He was thinking, contemplating and asking himself questions.

Then, out of nowhere and unexpectedly, he answered.

“Okay, yeah.”

After that, it didn’t take long for Phil to tell Tommy to sit down on the floor. Phil positioned himself behind the boy and then started.

He carded his fingers softly over the boys wings at first, getting him used to the feeling and then he started touching the feathers more carefully. He palpated the root of the feathers, pulling loose ones out to make room for new ones. He had started at the top, in the bright blue and made his way towards the middle. He went through every line of feathers and hummed to himself as he did so. He had noticed that Tommy stopped eating and smiled as he realised that the younger boy was enjoying it fully. He had reached the dark blue when he heard soft chirps fill the air and they weren’t coming from him. They had shut off as soon as they started and Phil already missed the sound of it. He chirped back.

𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚-𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙

Phil felt his heart melt when the chirps had picked up again and couldn’t help but chirp along, encouraging the chirping and running his hands through the feathers. He let all the bad ones fall onto the pile of feathers and felt his own wings flutter softly when he was done with one wing.

He hadn’t noticed how Techno and Wilbur had been watching by the hallways. He didn’t notice that they sat down, closing their eyes and listening to the chirping. He didn’t notice that Tommy had closed his eyes and started drifting off, making soft chirps while he slept.
He did notice that this was the happiest he’s been in years.

His family felt complete. He felt complete.

He couldn’t help but smile.

Chapter Text

Phil brushed through Tommy’s hair as he let soft chirps escape his throat. His hand was met with knots and dirt and he watched as it crumbled out of Tommy’s hair.

The boy was asleep. Phil had carried him to the couch after he was done with preening. The piles and piles of broken and old feathers had scattered all over the floor but Phil couldn’t have cared less as he had brought Tommy to the soft couch. He had made sure that Tommy would stay asleep and mumbled soft words to him to make sure he would stay in dreamland.

Now though, Phil was staring at the poor kid. He pulled his hand out of the blond, or what used to be blond before it was dirtied with mud and other substances, and sighed. What had happened to Tommy and how could he make sure that it will never repeat itself?

“You’re attached.” He jumped, trying to be as quiet as possible as he turned around to his son, Wilbur. Wilbur had his arms crossed and stood in the hallway, staring at Phil with the ghost of a smile on his face. Technoblade, Wilburs twin, sat on the floor and leaned his head against the wall. It seems like he was asleep as well and Phil made a cooing sound as he noticed it.

“Is it that obvious?” He sighed, standing up from his kneeling position and then brushing his hands off on his pants. He’d have to give Tommy a bath.

“How could it not be obvious?” Wilbur chuckled, moving away from his position and walking towards the open kitchen that was connected with the living room. “You just preened his wings.” Wilbur opened the fridge and grabbed something out of it. It seemed to be orange juice. “You preened his wings, gave him money and food. It’s like he’s your third son.” Wilbur turned back to Phil and raised an eyebrow. It felt like Wilbur was challenging him. It was almost like Wilbur was trying to make Phil confess what he felt towards the mess of a boy that was sleeping on his couch.

Phil just smiled, took one step after another and then joined Wilbur in the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and then took a deep breath, his eyes going back to Tommy who was still sleeping peacefully.

“He’s a good kid, right?” Phil asked and crossed his arms. His brows furrowed and he bit his lip. Tommy was a good kid. He knew that. He couldn’t help but worry though. This was a street kid, he was probably homeless and he didn’t know how he should handle that. Phil wanted to give him love and warmth. He wanted to give him safety and support but how do you give something that you can’t hold? Tommy will have to trust him. Tommy will have to believe Phil’s words when he said he wanted to care for him. Would that be hard? Would it be easy? Phil had no idea. He could only hope that all these feelings were equal.

“He is. At least I hope so, otherwise all this will end horribly.” Wilbur took a sip from the bottle, what a maniac, and then he put the lid back on and shook the whole bottle. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.

“He’s good.” Phil whispered, mostly talking to himself but he saw Wilbur nod.

Tommy was good. This won’t be easy all the way but there will be moments like these that will be worth it.
_______

Tommy slept for hours on end.

Techno had woken up eventually, instantly complaining about the pain he got from his sleeping position and not shutting up about it. He had seen Tommy and lowered his voice. He was careful and silent around the sleeping boy, more quiet than he was normally.

It warmed Phils heart. The way his boys were so careful as to not wake up Tommy. The way his boys lowered their voice around the couch and the way they kept shushing each other. It was perfect. He knew that Wilbur and Technoblade would warm up to Tommy but he never thought it would be this fast. Phil was attached, yes but his boys were attached as well.

Around noon, Phil had wanted to grab something from the kitchen and he had caught his boys staring at Tommy’s wings. They had been pointing at particular feathers they liked and talked in whispers, whispers so quiet that Phil couldn’t understand them but he saw the smiles on their faces and the exchanged looks and he knew it was good. He saw how they pointed at feathers. He saw the other one shake his head, point at another feather and the whole cycle repeated. If they noticed him, they had just chosen to ignore him.
_______

It was dinnertime, all three of them sitting at the table and occasionally glancing over at the couch. Wilbur and Technoblade would just check the couch with a few looks now and then but Phil’s eyes were trained on Tommy’s sleeping figure. That was how he catched Tommy waking up.

Phil noticed the twitch in the wings before they stretched out to their full length. They stretched and stretched and touched the ceiling. That was when Tommy flinched. His head raised slowly, cautiously and carefully as he seemed to scan his surroundings. He looked like a scared animal as he tried to figure out where he was. He didn’t seem to remember.

“Hello, mate.” Tommy flinched again and then his head snapped to Phil. There was a bit of confusion in his sleepy face but he visibly relaxed when he realised what was going on. His wings fell back and Tommy sat up on the couch, rubbing at his eyes and trying to fully wake up.

“Uh, hello.” His voice sounded a bit raspy and filled with sleep. Phil couldn’t help but smile at it. “I should,” Tommy stood up, eyeing all the feathers on the floor and then pointing at the door. “Leave. I should leave?” he really didn’t sound too sure of himself and made it sound like a question. Phil noticed how Tommy moved his wings, it showed his clear uncertainty.

“That sounds more like a question.” Phil stated, taking a bite from his fork and then smiling at the mildly confused Tommy. “If you really wanna leave, then eat something before going.” Phil stood up, nodding at an empty seat and getting a plate to fill it with as much food as he could fit on it. Tommy would need it. If the boy actually left, he could still give him a tupper with more food.

He turned around again to see Tommy sitting at the table. His heart warmed when he saw all of his boys at the table. All of them. Wilbur, sitting on the right seat next to his. Technoblade, sitting across from Wilbur and Tommy across from Phil’s seat.

Phil smiled, took a deep, satisfied breath and then moved towards the table again. He set the plate down in front of Tommy and listened as the boy thanked him and then dug right in. He ate like a starving wolf. He didn’t pause or make conversation once and Phil couldn’t blame him. This was how the world had taught him to eat. The world taught him to eat as fast as possible or otherwise he wouldn’t get any food. Phil didn’t blame Tommy. He blamed the world.

The dinner was more than comfortable. Wilbur and Technoblade were discussing something, talking about school and its subjects and Phil just listened and watched as Tommy ate and happily gave him more when the boy asked for it. It was a perfect moment. Phil was loving every second of it.

After dinner, Phil had set himself a new goal. Washing Tommy’s hair or getting him to take a bath or shower in general. He wanted to see the natural colour of the boys hair. He wanted to know what he looked like clean and he would give anything if he could get him to actually clean himself.
_______

“A shower?” Tommy sounded unsure as he sat at the table. He looked around it, taking in everyone's expression and then stared at his empty plate. Phil could hear him fiddling with his hoodies sleeve but he didn’t comment on it.

“Or a bath, whatever you want. I just thought it would be nice.” Phil smiled, starting to grab all the plates from the table and Wilbur stood up to help him carry it to the kitchen. Phil brought all he could carry to the sink and then talked over his shoulder. “Would you be up for that?” He really hoped that Tommy was. He might have preened Tommy’s wings but they still had a certain amount of grime in them.

It was silent for a while, the only sound in the apartment was the sound of the clashing dishes as Phil scrubbed them clean and the squeaking sound of Wilbur drying them and that was followed by the clinging it made whenever Wilbur set something down.

“A bath.” Phil heard Tommy whisper and a smile crept onto his face as he could feel Tommy considering it. This would mean he would stay a bit longer and then Phil could com eup with another excuse to get him to stay a bit longer.

It took a bit until something else left Tommy’s mouth and by the time it did, Phil was done with the dishes and turned back around to see Tommy’s thinking expression.

“That would be nice.” Tommy had said and it brought a wide smile onto Phil’s face. It was an honest smile and Phil wanted to hug Tommy close and never let him go. “I would like that, yes.” Tommy’s expression changed from thinking to slightly excited and Phil asked himself when the kid had a shower the last time.

Phil nodded, still smiling and then bringing Tommy to the bathroom. He explained to him how the shower worked and which bottles he could use for what. He explained and showed him everything he had to know to understand their bathroom and Phil made sure to give him a towel and then he left for a bit, getting Tommy a set of clothes that he could wear.

Phil, having already had that goal ever since he touched Tommy’s greasy and dirty hair, had all the clothes ready to grab. He had picked out old clothes of Wilbur’s and some pants from Technoblade. He had made sure to get a fresh pair of boxers and even found some of those fluffy sock pairs.

He brought all of the stuff into the bathroom and his wings fluttered and fluffed happily as he did so. Tommy was still there, staring at the shower and checking the bottles. He had a hand under the water to check its temperature. He thanked Phil, looked through the clothes and told him that he would be fine. Phil nodded a bit too excitedly and then left the little room that they called the bathroom.

Phil sat down on the couch after he heard the door of the bathroom lock. His wings twitched and he couldn’t tell if it was out of anxiety or out of excitement. Anxiety because he didn’t know if Tommy would be okay and Excitement because he was just so happy that Tommy had agreed to this.

He heard the water of the shower and nodded to himself. Tommy would be fine. There was nothing to worry about. It would be just fine
_______

“Phil?” He snapped out of his thoughts and turned his head towards the voice. It was coming from the hallway. It was coming from the still very wet and drooping Tommy. It was the sweetest image he had ever seen.

Tommy stood there, wings wet and dripping onto the floor. The feathers were a bit darker than normally and clung to each other, all because of the water.

Tommy’s hair was wet, wet, as if Tommy hadn’t even tried to dry it and Phil could already tell that the blond was a lot brighter than it was before. He wondered how it would look when it was dry.

“How do you dry wings?” Tommy asked, staring back at his wings and fluttering them carefully. He winced when the water hit him in the face and turned back to Phil with a frustrated look on his face. Phil chuckled at it and stood up from his place on the couch.

“Here’s what you wanna do.” Phil stood in front of Tommy, turning to the side and showing his own wings. He spread them as much as he could in this small space he had. Tommy would be able to spread them fully in the hallway.

“Spread them fully,” He watched as Tommy did it and nodded encouragingly “then you flutter as fast as you can.” He showed it first, wings fluttering and beating as if he was about to take off and producing quite a bit of wind. He heard Tommy laugh at it. “Then they should dry.”

Phil folded his wings back onto his back and waited for Tommy to repeat what he just taught him. He waited patiently as he saw the concentrated look on the kid.

Tommy beat with his wings and the water flew right off, hitting every wall around them. It wetted the ceiling and painted itself across the floor and it rolled off the walls as Tommy stopped with the movements. The wings were a lot dryer now, almost fully dried. The feathers were fluffed up and it looked beautiful with the different blues on them.

Phil nodded and smiled at it. He didn’t care about all the water in his apartment. The only thing that mattered right now was the laugh coming from Tommy as he fluttered with his puffed up wings. He seemed to be fully enjoying this and Phil couldn’t blame him, drying wings was the best thing.

Wilbur and Techno had gone to sleep earlier and he just hoped the laughing wouldn’t wake them up. If they did wake up though, they would wake up with a smile because there was no way you couldn’t feel joy at Tommy’s happiness.

“Let’s dry your hair, kid.” Phil said, moving towards the bathroom to grab a towel and the hair dryer and then command Tommy to sit down in front of the couch. Tommy did as told and Phil went into his own room to grab a brush, he’d definitely need it.

He joined Tommy, sitting down on the couch with Tommy in front of him. He had Tommy’s hair right where he needed it and after telling Tommy that he’d start now, he grabbed the towel.

He put it on Tommy’s head and started wildly rubbing his hair. He heard Tommy laugh again and his heart warmed at the sound of it. He continued for a bit before he felt like it was enough and took the towel away from Tommy’s head. He put it to the side and then grabbed the hair dryer. He turned it on and it was pretty loud, hopefully his boys wouldn’t wake up.

He started drying Tommy’s hair, running his hand through the hair and following it with the warm air of the dryer. The hair started drying up more and more and it started to gain its own colour again. The colour was light and warm. If you’d look at it in the sun, then it would probably look golden. It dried up and the hair started to curl beautifully under Phils touch. In the end: Tommy’s hair was even prettier than Phil could have ever imagined. It was perfect. God, Tommy was perfect. How could such a sweet boy end up on the streets? Phil wanted to beat up every single person that had taken part in Tommy ending up on the streets. He wanted to make the person that caused it suffer. He wanted justice for Tommy.

He just wanted to talk when soft snores reached his ears. He turned the dryer off and listened closer. He smiled when the snores confirmed that they were from Tommy.

Tommy had fallen asleep under his touch. Again.

He smiled and put the dryer to the side. He ignored the brush as he combed through Tommy’s hair with only his hands. He hummed to himself as he felt the heat of his scalp hit his fingers. It was a perfect moment. Any moment with Tommy was perfect. How could it not? Tommy was perfect.

Phil would make sure to keep him safe. He would make him feel safe. He would give him a home.

Phil will give anything for Tommy.

It has been pretty easy until now, it would continue to be fine.

It would go just fine. They would all be fine.

Phil hummed and closed his own eyes, enjoying the moment in every way he could.

“You’re safe.” Phil whispered into the air.

Chapter Text

Phil woke up in a very uncomfortable position on the couch. He felt his wings stretch out and his muscles ache and protest in pain as he slowly sat up. He cracked his neck, moving it left and right to do so and then opening his eyes carefully.

He wasn’t feeling the best and was still half-way asleep. He did wake up a bit more when he noticed the missing Tommy.

Hadn’t Tommy fallen asleep on the floor in front of Phil? He had, right? Phil hadn’t dreamt that. Tommy had asked for help with drying up and Phil had helped as much as he could. Phil still remembered the soft feeling of Tommy’s curls beneath his fingers. He remembered the golden colour and the missing grime. He remembered Tommy’s laugh like it was a broken record, playing over and over again in his head. He hadn’t dreamt that. It had been real, him and Tommy had been doing that the night before.

“Tommy?” He whispered into the air, voice still exhausted from sleep. He stood to his feet, groaning as his legs protested and begged him to sit back down. He leaned onto any Furniture that was the closest to him. He stumbled through the apartment and searched each room for the winged boy. There was no trace of him.

Did Tommy leave? Why? Was he alright? Would he be fine? God, how exactly does one handle this? Phil didn’t know what to say or think. He closed the door to the last room he checked, sighed and then turned around to go to the kitchen.

He’d need distraction. He needs to get his hands moving and his head away from stressing.

He just hopes Tommy was okay, no matter where he was right now.
_______

Tommy ran. He ran and ran. He felt the air between his wings. He could feel it hug him tightly and he felt the ghost of Phils fingers in his hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to think about it. He couldn’t think about last night. It was a mistake. How could he?

He had let his guard down. Massively.

He had not only entered a stranger's house but slept there too. Twice. He must be losing his mind because there was no way in hell that he had done that consciously. He had slept there, eaten there and he even took a shower. Such a perfect shower.

The water had been the perfect temperature. He had massaged his scalp with the shampoo that Phil had given him and he had cleaned his wings. He had watched the dirty water go down the drain and he had sighed happily as he was able to clean his wings correctly.

He had such a good time and then, he left the shower. He had left the shower and Phil helped him with drying his wings. He had shown him that trick and Tommy was only able to laugh because of how funny it had felt.

He had let Phil dry his hair. He had felt Phil’s hand caress his hair and he had this faint sound of Phil’s humming in his mind. It had been such a warm moment. Such a perfect moment.

Too perfect. It was too good to be true. He couldn’t deal with it and so, he ran. He had left through the door the second he woke up. He had sprinted away from the building and then down the streets. He ran and ran until he felt his lungs ache and even then, he ran more. He picked up his pace and went quite a distance. He needed a moment to think. He needed a moment or two.

He came to a stop in the alley in which he normally slept. He sat down, next to the dumpster and listened to his quick, short and irregular breaths. He cursed under his breath, using every single swear word that he had learnt in his short little life.

He put his hands into his hair and pulled on it. He bit down on his lip and felt the tears shooting to his eyes as he pulled a bit too hard. He let go, taking one deep and shaky breath as he tried to calm every nerve and inch of his body. He needed to stay calm, stay calm and think.

“What is going on?” He mumbled under his breath and stared at the wall in front of him. The truth was: He had no idea what was going on. He couldn’t tell what was going on. He had asked Phil for money, those many moons ago. Then, he had returned for more money and then Phil had given him those amazing potatoes. It was the best meal he ever had. He couldn’t believe his luck. That night, licking the leftovers out of the tupper, he had decided that Phil was a good guy.

He had returned for more money and then the preening happened. Phil preened his wings and god, that had been amazing. His wings felt so well cared for, so much lighter and prettier. He felt pride when he had taken a glance at them. He felt pride, pride that he didn’t think he would ever feel again. It had been just perfect.

He had fallen asleep on the couch, the best sleep he ever had. He had slept so deep and didn’t even get interrupted even though he does remember hearing some whispers from behind him. Those were nice whispers though, they didn’t mean evil. They were good, Tommy knew.

And then, god, that shower. He couldn’t thank Phil enough for it. He could never thank Phil enough for everything he had done for Tommy but still. Tommy couldn’t handle it anymore. He had let his guard down so much that it almost hurt. He could be hurt so easily and it would probably be the end of him. God, hopefully Phil didn’t want to hurt him. Tommy would lose faith in humanity if Phil ever hurt him. The man was so nice, kind, caring and loving. The way he touched Tommy’s wings had been so careful. There was no force behind it, only love. Phil’s touch was always full of love. Phil was full of love.

Then why did Tommy leave?

Tommy left to protect himself. He couldn’t just depend on some family that he met on a random Tuesday. Tommy couldn’t. He just couldn’t let himself do that, fall for it.

Tommy sighed and dropped his head against the wall behind him. He ran away from Phil. He ran away from WIlbur and he ran away from Technoblade.

Did they already notice that he left?
_______

“What do you mean he left?” Wilbur asked, instantly more awake when he noticed the missing Tommy. His eyes had scanned the couch and the second he had spotted the empty couch. The second he saw that the familiar blue feathers were gone, he woke up. “He left? Through the door? Just like that?”

Technoblade just sat at the table, staring at his brother and furrowing his brows when he talked. “No Wilbur, he flew out of the window.” The situation wasn’t really suited for sarcasm and so Technoblade had very much deserved the dirty look that he received from his twin.

Phil just watched as Wilbur panicked and Technoblade stared holes into the air. Phil had hoped that Tommy would return soon but it had now been hours and he still hadn’t come back. He was starting to believe that Tommy won’t return at all.

“I’m sure he’ll come back, don’t worry too much.” Phil reassured, trying to convince himself more than his boys. He was really worried and if he could he’d rush out there and search for Tommy himself but something held him back, something told him not to because what if Tommy didn’t want to be found? What if Tommy ran away because Phil was being too much? What if, what if, what if. It filled his head, throwing every other thought that didn’t have anything to do with Tommy out of the way. He had tried to distract himself but he was failing miserably. The second his boys had woken up, was the second the chaos and the questions started.

He had to answer multiple of Wilbur's questions. He had to hold Technoblade back from rushing out there and he had to calm them both down. Technobalde acted unaffected and Wilbur was acting like an over worried mother that just lost her child in the mall. If this situation wasn’t so stressful, Phil would be making fun of Wilbur’s worried expression.

“Bullshit,” Wilbur’s expression hardened and shot Phil a look and if looks could kill, Phil would drop dead. “He could be dead in a ditch right now. He could be doing god knows what.” Wilbur started pacing, he did this often when his anxiety started acting up.

“He could be doing drugs.” Technoblade chimed in and Phil held back a snort at his comment and Wilbur, going after the look he shot his brother, did not think that his words were the tiniest bit of amusing.
_______

It’s been three days.

It’s been three. Days.

The whole family, all three of them, have been nothing but tense. The nights were sleepless and haunted by nightmares where something bad had happened to Tommy.

Once, there had been a ring from the bell and all three of them had stormed to the door. They had thrown the door open and it hit the wall behind it with a loud thump. The excitement had left them in less than a second though. They weren’t met with the sky blue eyes or the golden curls. All they say, was a very surprised mail man. The twins had sighed and left instantly and Phil was left to sign something and take the package from the man. They didn’t open the box though. They only threw it to the side and went back to mourning someone that they had known for less than a week.

They were not having a good time. Even when they knew that Tommy would probably not return and had most likely left for good, they couldn’t help but hope. They hoped because it was all they had left. Hope and a few blue feathers from the preening session that Phil and Tommy had.

They all sat in the living room. Phil on the right side of the couch, Wilbur on his left and Technoblade in the armchair by the TV. They had been sitting in silence for a while now. Phil decided he needed to say something.

“He has a beautiful laugh.” He played it back in his head, remembering the night where Tommy wildly fluttered with his wings and laughed. He remembered his laugh and his soft curls. He remembered perfection.

“It’s bright,” He saw Technoblade and Wilbur watched him attentively. They were waiting for more information and Phil searched the right words to describe what he had heard so many nights ago. “It’s contagious and it’s,” Phil scrambled for the right words, trying to figure out how to explain it. “It’s golden.” He decided on and he nodded to himself because that was the perfect word to describe Tommy’s laugh. Golden.