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Language:
English
Series:
Part 8 of Poems My Depression Made Me Write
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Published:
2023-07-04
Words:
162
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
3
Hits:
30

I never thought

Summary:

Nobody actually believes it can happen...till it happens to you

Notes:

Like the rest of this series, this poem is very dark. I've left it at teen rating because that's when I was feeling the worst of it and I want to leave it out there for others suffering like I was. Depression knows no age but some of my depictions are darker. If mentions of self harm, suicide, depression, anxiety, or anything along that line of thinking triggers you, PLEASE DO NOT READ. I'm all for comments and kudos, but not at the cost of your safety. Your life is more important than some stupid poem on the internet

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

I never thought

Those kids were real-

Stories of wanting to die, 

Hating their own life enough,

To try to end it.

 

I never thought 

Id be one of those girls-

Wearing sweats and long sleeves mid summer,

Never touching shorts,

Avoiding knee length or shorter dresses.

 

I never thought 

Id be one of those people-

Counting each calorie,

Refusing my favorite foods,

Angry at a few ounces.

 

I never thought 

Id be one of those lost souls-

Evaluating each object for edges, 

Considering how safe a safety pin

could posibly be.

 

I never thought 

Id end up as one of those statistics-

Of at home operation attempts,

Trying to sculpt my belly and thighs,

With razor blades and pocket knives.

 

I never thought

It would get this far-

Where bleeding alone wasn't enough, 

Where pain led to pleasure, 

And everything was simply an opportunity...

 

I never thought

Id join them-

But then I did.

And I wish every day

I hadn't.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! If you related to anything I said or something hit you particularly hard please let me know! I'm here to talk if needed and I know sometimes all you need is the stranger on the internet listening to you rant. Your comments and kudos give me such joy so thank you lovelies!

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