Work Text:
The knife is in my hand,
The blade against my wrist.
A subtle flick
Is all it'd take
To end this.
But still,
I hesitate.
Am I strong enough to do this?
Or am I weak for even considering it?
Does the answer matter?
Does anything?
The demon inside me laughs
"You'd afraid.
You won't make the move.
You'll continue to suffer me inside you.
After all, all humans fear Death."
I try to protest.
I don't fear Death.
He is my idol
And I'd welcome His calming breath
As He claimed my own.
What I fear
Is much worse.
What if Death decides
I'm not worth it?
That even He doesn't want me?
What if I'm caught?
What if they find out?
If I am forced
to continue to fight,
What will become of me?
With a sigh,
I move the knife.
There's too much at stake,
If I fail to take my life.
Too much to lose.
So I move it down,
Down to my thigh.
The jeans will cover
My desire to die.
They'll seal my little lie.
The blade bites my flesh,
Granting some relief.
Still I can't help but feel
That it's a temporary thing;
Soon ill feel down again.
But for now,
The deed is done.
No one is any the wiser.
Because as much as I want to die
I fear what would happen if I failed
To take my life.