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An entire nation would agree that Chuuya’s a genius when it comes to music. It’s unfortunate that this genius doesn’t extend to making the right facial expressions needed for a photoshoot to promote their band.
It’s gotten to the point that even the photographer and set director have convened on one corner, gesticulating wildly while puffing over their cigarettes. They haven’t gone ahead to confront Chuuya’s manager yet, but it seems as if they’re reaching that limit soon.
“It can’t be helped.” Dazai approaches the rock star that has taken the country by storm. “A tiny dog only has enough brains for singing and his tacky hats. Making seductive faces is too high a task for you to reach.”
As if to emphasize the impossibility of such a feat, he even raises a hand several inches on top of Chuuya’s head, hair perfectly combed and sprayed on to stay in that perfect halo over his face.
Because Chuuya’s mind is reserved for certain things only, he doesn’t have enough brainpower to appreciate the comfort that he’s providing. He snarls at him, without care for the fact that they’re in public, surrounded by various staff. There are strict NDAs in place, but gossip is more persistent than cockroaches under a nuclear bombardment. Not even the most stringent of non-disclosure agreements could silence every single talk, and anyone could gossip about how soukoku’s lead singer is a brute towards his composer, pianist and manager.
Chuuya even sends a kick towards his shins. “Shut the hell up! Why did you even accept this shoot then! This is all your fault!”
“Fufufu, Chuuya, tiny widdle Chuuya, you shouldn’t just place the blame on me, you know?” He shakes his head, even shakes a finger in front of the other’s nose, shiny with powder that seems to give him tiny stars over his skin. “I may be your manager, but it’s still your responsibility to review any contract before you sign them.”
Of course, whether Chuuya could wrestle back his signature stamp is another matter entirely. Dazai has complete control over everything Chuuya owns, and that includes his IDs, his contacts, his signature stamp. After all, this is the only reason why he volunteered to be Chuuya’s manager, on top of being his back-up composer and pianist. He has celebrated the disbandment of Sheep; he’s not going to allow just anyone to then form a band with his dog.
Another kick to his shins. “You take all of my money, the least you could do is do your job well! You should be inspecting all of the contracts and make sure they won’t make me do weird shit!”
“They’re just asking you to make a sultry, seductive expression,” Dazai points out, snickering. “I didn’t expect that you’d be too small to successfully accomplish it.”
“What does my height have to do with it?!” He jumps around, even if a bit more restrained than usual, probably out of respect for the clothes that he’s dressed up in.
It’s gaudy without being a pain to the eyes. Pants ripped at the knees. Steel-toed black-and-white Oxfords. Silver belt that does a poor job of hanging over slim hips, tilted sideways with several silver hoops on its side, as if to insinuate that Chuuya is a bomb that would detonate anytime. Two layers of tank tops, one black-and-white animal print over a crimson one in the same shade as his fedora, gloves, nail polish and eyeliner. His choker forms a continuity with his belt, and he’s wearing a looser necklace whose pendant could swing right over his nipple, which seems to be in danger of peeking with how much he’s moving. His leather jacket seems to be having a lot of problem staying draped over him, exposing his shoulders with each movement.
All in all, it’s very similar to Chuuya’s usual outfits whenever he holds a concert.
An entire nation is blinded by a jumping slug who likes to alternate between crooning to the microphone and rocking hard with his guitar. Several millions would swear their life on how effortlessly seductive the slug is. But now that it’s in a more restrained setting, Chuuya is incapable of mustering that seductive quality and showing it to the cameras.
…Of course, that’s why Dazai has agreed to this photoshoot. It’s pure entertainment, watching Chuuya try and fail to pout, glare, and do all sorts of faces. Dazai has nearly fallen off his chair laughing when Chuuya tried puckering his lips in a mock kiss for the cover, and somehow ending up looking constipated.
“You need to be a certain height to be considered as being capable of effortless seduction,” he outright lies, laughing again when that makes Chuuya blow up.
Chuuya looks like he’s going to soon give in to the urge to murder him in broad daylight. “Bastard! Just because you’re some damn flirt who is an enemy of women!”
He nods. “Yes, I’m very charming and seductive.”
“…Tsk, you’re not supposed to agree!”
“But I am very seductive,” he points out. “Even if you can’t accept it, that’s the truth, chibikko.”
Bone-dry, “Your seduction method is to scam people into thinking you’re a decent human being, when you’re absolutely not.”
“Oho? Sounds like you have been paying attention to my seduction skills. Something you want to tell me, Chuuya?” He stands beside him, angling his body so that he’s covering the other’s body away from most eyes. He has agreed to follow Chuuya in his dream to form a band and inflict his presence upon everyone, but that’s only because he knows that Chuuya would push forward, despite his protests. As much as possible, he really doesn’t want people to see Chuuya—he’s simply looking out for their interests, because it’s going to cause eye strain if they keep on looking at someone so tiny and brutish.
“I want to tell you that you’re an absolute menace,” is said without any gentleness whatsoever. Blue eyes cut sharply when they look at him. “Also, this magazine is a very popular one. You actually want me to be on the cover of this one?”
To classify ‘Diamonds’ as a ‘very popular magazine’ would probably be considered blasphemous by anyone who’d hear him. It’s a massive understatement, as it’s justifiably the most popular magazine in the entire world, with massive circulation in both domestic and international markets. To land a cover is a considered as the hallmark of someone reaching the pinnacle of their career.
That said, to be in the cover of such a prestigious magazine also practically serves as an invitation to invade one’s privacy. The magazine is also notorious for being accompanied with surgical interviews, designed to slice into a celebrity’s personal life.
Chuuya’s personality is the same in public and private, the idea of acting differently or keeping secrets or donning a plastic mask: those things are too much for the slug’s tiny brain to handle. At the very least, he shouldn’t ever fear scandals arising from people pointing out that he acts differently in his private life.
“Well, the money that this contract brings is quite the hefty amount.” He smiles and scratches the other’s chin, like he’s trying to placate a dog. “And if you have a lot of money, that means that I get to have a lot of money to steal from you.”
“…Oi, your real thoughts leaked out there. What do you mean steal!”
“What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine,” he explains this simple truth with the same smile.
Instead of blowing up, Chuuya frowns and says, “That’s why I asked. You’re actually fine with this magazine?”
Since they’ve known each other since they’re fourteen and in middle school, he has plenty of experience in reading this dog’s mind. That said, there are still some times when he’s just stumped about the other’s brain circuits. It’s not surprising. After all, it truly is difficult to understand dog when one isn’t a dog.
He makes a questioning noise.
Chuuya looks at him like he’s calling him stupid with his well-manicured eyebrows. “You’re in love with me. If I become more famous, then people would know about how much you love me.” Without any embarrassment whatsoever, “Wouldn’t it be so embarrassing for you, if the whole world knows about your feelings for me?”
It seems that there’s one more thing to be added to Chuuya’s splendid repertoire of things that he’s a genius on: the ability to render Dazai speechless, from the sheer idiocy of the shit that he’s hearing. “Huh?! Shouldn’t you be more worried about yourself?! Aren’t you the one who’s so in love with me?!”
Chuuya recoils like he’s been shot. That, or something has disgusted him so thoroughly that he’s seconds away from retching all over the place, his make-up and costume be damned. “HA?! Why the hell would I be in love with a fish! I have actual taste, oi!”
“That should be my line! Why would I be in love with a dog! The only thing that you’re good at is singing, but you’re annoying at everything else!”
“HAAA?! I’m good at other things too, damn it! You’re the one who has no good points whatsoever! Even your face is just a means for you to scam people!”
“Oho? So you’re admitting that you like my face?”
“You’re the one who admitted to liking my singing!” Chuuya takes one step forward, jabbing his index finger over his chest, like he’s piercing straight to his heart. “You’re the one who kept on following my footsteps and insisting that I let you be my manager and band member at the same time! Taking on so many responsibilities just so you could monopolize me! Even though you’re so lazy otherwise!”
Not to be outdone, he also takes a step forward, hooking his finger under the other’s choker, and using his other hand to drag him closer by those rings attached to his belt. “You’re the one who kept on lowering your defenses and trusting me to take care of everything for you! Falling asleep right after a performance! Attending events and trusting me to carry back your drunk self! Letting me handle all of your fans and suitors!”
“Oi, the last one shouldn’t count! You’re the one who insists on scaring them all away from me!”
“Because you’re a stupid dog who shouldn’t bark at anyone else but me!”
“See! Isn’t that proof of how much you’re embarrassingly in love with me!”
“—okay, hold that pose,” a voice interrupts them, freezing them in place. “Good, that really shows the high level of tension that we’re looking for. Perfect.”
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The next cover of ‘Diamonds’ features the two members of soukoku: the lead singer who’s not shy about revealing his past as an orphan who wandered the streets, and the secretive pianist who also double-times as the manager. The whole world does end up knowing about Dazai’s embarrassing feelings for Chuuya; as befitting their band name, this revelation comes in ‘doubles’, as everyone now knows about Chuuya’s own feelings.
The establishment, experiences and rise to stardom by soukoku is now considered as one of the most famous love stories—though to this day, the protagonists involved refuse to accept such a thing.
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end