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The wind was howling.
Sharp, glacial raindrops ran across his face, illuminating his features under the dazzling moonlight whilst kissing his lips and nose as they traced them.
Cold pricking his skin, the sky filled with inky black clouds that coated the stars, parting ways for the moon to shine through and irradiate the streets.
It was so dark, yet Lloyd could see everything all too well.
He would have missed her had it not been for the panicked crowds on the street below. Screams and worried shouts echoed through the sidewalks as he emerged through an alleyway, mind on full alert. At first, he struggled to even locate the cause for the commotion, whipping his head around frantically as he stood a few metres away from the crowd.
The sheer amount of people distorted his view, and even without them there, he likely wouldn’t have seen her in time. Following their heads towards the sky, he gasped when he caught sight of her, standing helplessly at the top of one of Ninjago City’s highest buildings.
Except she wasn’t helpless . She chose to be there.
Everybody could predict her next move, yet nobody wanted to accept it; they watched aimlessly as her long, brown hair swayed violently in the wind, similarly to her dress, which also struggled to keep still from the pressure.
Nobody could stop her when she took a sudden step off the precipice, allowing her low weight to take her crashing down through the air. She fell quickly, the wind aiding her decent as everybody on the streets below screamed, some people scrambling to get out of the way of impact.
Lloyd, on the other hand, sprinted. With intense struggle, he barged his way through the crowds of people, many gasping at the sudden appearance of the green ninja. Other people, however, were so caught up in the chaos that they didn’t even bat an eye at the hero, unwilling to move from their spot. Lloyd shouted incomprehensibly, forcing people to comply with his commands as they staggered out the way, creating an opening for the ninja to run through.
A deafening crack echoed through the streets.
Everyone was silent.
Lloyd was so close. He was so close that he felt the breeze of her body fly by him. He was so close that the blood dissipating from the woman’s lifeless limbs splattered all over his green gi, staining it red. He was so goddamn close, but he didn’t catch her.
He didn’t catch her.
So conveyed with shock, Lloyd didn’t even process what had happened until the screaming started up once more. People began wailing, some running towards the scene, but most running away. Almost a dozen people were on the phone to the police, begging through strained cries for an ambulance or medical team.
But Lloyd stayed silent, the mangled body only centimetres away from him, bloody and forbidding. Her limbs were bent and twisted in ways that were so unnatural, causing people around them to throw up, some even fainting. Despite the horror, Lloyd couldn’t stop looking. He was frozen, breathing heavily and quickly, unsure of what to do. He was covered, absolutely, undeniably covered , in bodily fluids, many a texture that he’d never come across before. His gi was now tye-dyed an ugly mix of browns, reds, and greens, choking him with every passing second.
He couldn’t breathe. Ripping his mask off, his face was as pale as the deceased girl, if not more. Without the hood, he got a clearer view of her body - and she was much younger than he once thought. Using the parts of her face that were still recognisable, which most of it wasn’t, he concluded she couldn’t have been older than twenty-one. She had to be only a few years older than Lloyd himself.
Lloyd had seen all kinds of horrors during his life; death, pain, grief. Everything. But this , this topped it all. It was by far the most gory scene he’d ever encountered. Had there been gore on missions, his team was always wary about him generally seeing it, but none of it was ever as gruesome as this one. Especially because this time, Lloyd was right in front of it, unable to tear his eyes away.
He wasn’t even supposed to be on patrol that day. It was a Monday, predominantly Kai’s day to hang around the City, but he was busy with Skylor. The rest of the team were held up with something to do with one of Pixal’s inventions, sans Cole, who simply refused to patrol the night as he ‘hated Mondays’. Lloyd, being the only ninja with common courtesy, willingly took up the job when he was the last left to be asked.
And oh, how he was regretting that now.
At no point did he remember being tapped on the shoulder, or being led to a bench by the scene as he was sat down and consulted by the police. He didn’t remember telling them what happened, and he didn’t remember ever getting up from that bench.
Yet, somehow, he found himself at the monastery gates, not mustering up enough courage to push them open and walk inside.
He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but eventually, the soft scraping of delicate wood sliding across cold concrete sounded in his ear. He looked up slightly, noticing a blur of red envisioning through his glossy eyes, forming more securely as he blinked repeatedly. No words were said as they looked at eachother, only a brief look of recognition was transferred between the two. The older boy looked neat and tidy, whereas the younger boy looked a complete mess; he was.
“Lloyd,” Kai approached with caution. “We saw it on the news, bud.”
Reminiscing to the image he saw on the broadcast; a mangled, destroyed corpse, laid lifeless beneath the realm’s mightiest hero, who looked utterly defeated in his moment of weakness. Kai’s heart ached for Lloyd. That kid had seen too much at such a young age.
“I didn’t catch her, Kai.” He whispered, barely audible, an unusual tone of voice for the teen. “I killed her.”
“Oh, FSM,” Kai grabbed Lloyd’s arm, the blood now dried completely. “Don’t do that to yourself, man.”
“If I had just caught her in time-..”
“Hey!” His words were cut off abruptly, leaving him to simply watch as Kai dragged him inside of the courtyard, shutting the gate behind them. “Had she wanted to end her life that badly, which she clearly did, there would have been nothing you, or any of us , could do to stop her.”
Lloyd stayed silent, dropping his head to his chest before Kai grabbed his chin, moving it up again to face him.
“We can’t always save everybody, Lloyd.”
“I know that!” Lloyd growled, running his hands through his hair in anger, slow tears forming in his eyes. “But I was right there! I was right there. I could feel her take her final breath, why did I have to be the final thing she saw before she died? I’m supposed to be a saviour! A hero! All I managed to be was a failure. She died at the feet of a disappointment.”
The brunette stood in silence, taking in every word. Each raise of the blonde’s voice felt like a direct stab into his heart, tearing him away slowly. “Maybe you’re right.”
Lloyd’s mouth gaped, face deadpanning. “What?”
“Maybe you are a failure , maybe you are a disappointment .” Kai gritted his teeth, watching as Lloyd took a worried step back. In response, Kai stepped forward. “But then so are we, and so is everybody in this monastery right now.
“Kai, that’s not-…”
“Because, God help me , Lloyd, we have all failed to save people. We’ve let people die in our arms and be killed out of our control. We have all failed, giving away a life that we could have kept thriving.” Walking up to Lloyd, he embraced him in a tight hug, resulting in a small gasp coming from the boy. “I don’t want you going through this alone, bud. We’ve been through it to, and although yours is a little more fucked up , we can help you.”
Neither side of the pair recalled when Lloyd started bawling, but his teardrops slowly began to stain Kai’s gi wet, soaking his shoulder. “How did you get over it?”
“I didn’t. None of us did, we just learnt to live with it.” The fire ninja gripped Lloyd tighter, breathing heavily. “There’s no point sulking over something that will undoubtedly happen again. You’re both young, and powerful, whilst living in Ninjago ; people will die around you, that’s the cost of being a hero.”
“All I ever want to do is save people,” Lloyd frowned, lifting a hand to wipe his eyes, before pushing away from Kai slightly.
A long, strained sigh released from the brunette.
“You can only save those who want to be saved.”