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"Nani the fuck?!" two voices yelled in unison, then: "Oh, shut up, my head is aching!"
"Lambo! I-Pin! Are you okay?" Tsuna called.
"Ah, yes, Tsuna nii, I can't get stupider than this anyway, can I?" I-Pin said. What? It was surely possible to be more stupid than an A-grade student.
"I think I'm fine, but I should go to work and I might have a mild concussion," Lambo said. And since when did Lambo have a job?!
"Wait," I-Pin said.
"Wait," Lambo repeated.
Together, then: "GIVE ME MY BODY BACK!" a pause, "AND STOP YELLING!"
"I-Pin! Lambo!" Tsuna called, and they stopped to look at him.
"I don't know what the hell happened, okay? But tonight we were supposed to go out, so you better dress up properly for your… um… gender, I guess? Current body?"
"Are you going to do anything about this?" Lambo asked, from I-Pin's body.
"Not now. I have no idea what to do, I'll ask Reborn."
"Reborn will just tell me to wear some lace underwear and chill," Lambo said.
"Don't you dare chill with my private parts!" I-Pin warned him.
"Ugh. No, thanks."
"GUYS! Go get dressed, NOW!" Tsuna's voice was for once thunderous enough to make both of them shut up and go to their shared room.
"What do we do?" Lambo asked, slightly panicking.
"We try to go with the flow, I guess," I-Pin answered, "The only other option is to try and fall down the stairs again and accidentally headbutt each other to see if it works in reverse."
"How do you accidentally headbutt someone on purpose?" Lambo asked.
"I don't know! That's why I need your good suit jacket."
"Daaamn…" Lambo whined, but complied. There wasn't anything else he could do after all, wasn't it?
He allowed I-Pin to help him put on a nice dress that didn't sting in any weird place, listened carefully when she explained to him how to take proper care of her body and somehow managed to tell her how to pee standing.
The night was fine enough, although very long and quite uncomfortable. Lambo was quickly realising how smart I-Pin was, while she was just enjoying the privilege to just chill around.
She left him halfway through a conversation about physics that he definitely didn't know how to maintain and decided to go and flirt with Reborn on Lambo's behalf.
Maybe this weird matter all led to this: Lambo didn't have the guts to confess his feelings to Reborn, but she sure did. They weren't even her feelings. She confidently walked towards Reborn and tried to sensually lean against the wall beside him: "Good evening, Reborn," she whispered. At the other side of the room he saw Lambo clearly trying to hitchhike a ride for outer space.
"Good evening, I-Pin," Reborn asked, and I-Pin had to blink twice to be sure she had heard it right.
"Oh, so Tsuna told you," she eventually managed to say, while Reborn handed her a glass of something.
"He didn't. I just… I knew that you're not Lambo."
"Hm, interesting…" I-Pin said. After all, the body that Reborn was probably about to destroy wasn't hers, and it made her confident.
"Ah-ha, you're not going to do that," Reborn said, and I-Pin felt a pang of the reverence Lambo seemed to feel towards Reborn. The hitman sure knew how to be respected.
"Do you have any idea about what happened?" Reborn shuddered: "No. But we could ask Byakuran if it doesn't pass before tomorrow." I-Pin nodded.
When Lambo saw her coming back, she saw the relief and the gratitude on her own face and was moved to mercy. She gently excused both of them and carried Lambo away.
The morning after, Lambo woke up all cranky.
He tried to remember and oh, dear, now he wanted to go back to sleep. Forever, maybe. I-Pin had told him about Reborn's idea to speak with Byakuran, and the idea of meeting that winged weirdo was enough to drive him crazy.
He rolled out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom. A post-it had been stuck above it: "SIT DOWN TO PEE!"
Good advice. Damn, that girl was smart. Lambo sat down and released his muscles to let… wait.
He looked down.
A dick.
His dick!
Lambo got up again, peed while standing, then looked at his own reflection in the mirror. It was him!
His face, his hair, even his half-closed right eye. Oh, god, the relief. He had hated the whole peeing process with female genitals: no touching the toilet, the awkward squat, the impossibility to take aim, the wiping afterwards and the uncomfortable position his flaps had taken after it.
He went back to the bedroom, unconsciously singing his own old annoying lullaby, and his eyes fell on the dress he had been wearing the night before.
Well, that was a thing he would miss, he could admit it to himself. He had loved the sensation of the elegant silk on his skin, the feeling it gave… it had made him feel… pretty.
There was nothing bad about trying it on again, right?
Lambo went for it. This time only, he said to himself.
He undressed, safe for his underwear, and put the dress on. I-Pin was minute, and had little breasts, so it still fit him. The zipper didn't go all the way up, but only because it was uncomfortable to close. Lambo still felt good. He let out a spontaneous giggle, then a warm hand landed on his shoulder.
"Need help with the zipper, Lambo?" He turned so quickly that the gown did a little wave.
"Re… Re… Reborn!" The hitman didn't wait for a proper answer; he turned him back again and pulled the zipper up.
"I guess that this was the purpose of what happened," Reborn whispered next to his ear.
"Reborn, I… don't tell anyone, please!"
"I won't. Until you're ready, at least. But let me say, you're gorgeous."
"What is this, do you have a kink?"
"Never before," Reborn answered, then added: "Not this one, at least."
"So what, then?"
"I guess I was just waiting for you to find yourself," Reborn answered.
"I… I don't understand," Lambo said.
He stepped back and found himself with his back to the wall.
Reborn held out a hand and Lambo closed his eyes, but the hit he was waiting for never came.
Instead, a caress gently brushed his cheek.
"I don't, either," Reborn confessed, "But I feel like… all these years, I've been waiting, and I didn't know what for. I had this sense of…"
"Being suspended," Lambo finished for him, "Like the moment before the storm hits."
"Yeah…" Reborn said, apparently in awe, "I guess I was waiting for the thunder to hit, instead."
"Yeah, to hit his head and swift bodies with his best friend," Lambo said. And, marvel of marvels, Reborn huffed a laugh.
"I suppose," he jokingly said, then he leaned closer: "Sorry for the inconvenience," he whispered on Lambo's lips.
"You owe me dinner for the toilet squats," Lambo said. He didn't know where his boldness was coming from, as long as it kept flowing.
And this was true for everything, he vaguely thought; he didn't even hear Reborn answering, if he ever did.
He stopped the hitman before he could kiss him: "Wait."
"You… you don't want to?" Reborn said, and in a moment of embarrassed clarity Lambo realised that his feelings had been adamant from the start.
"I do," he was quick to answer, "But…"
"Tell me," Reborn encouraged him.
"I still don't know who I am. All I know is that I fancy wearing a pretty dress."
"And that's a big step, Lambo," Reborn gently said, caressing a lock of hair behind Lambo's ear, "Will you allow me to stay by your side for the following ones?"
"I… yes," Lambo said with a whisper.
And when Reborn finally kissed him, he didn't even care to find out what was next. Whoever he was, he knew that he had someone by his side.