Chapter Text
A loud BANG! Could be heard, as a boy in a gray sweater was shoved against a metal locker. Across from him, a crowd of other kids were laughing, chanting, throwing things in his face, and so on.
Every. Single. Day, something like this just had to happen.
The boy that had been shoved against the locker, curled up into a ball, blocking everything and everyone out. He left. He was still there on the floor, but he was somewhere else. It was a calm and happy feeling, for him to just zone out. According to his therapist, he wasn’t supposed to be doing this. It wasn’t healthy.
But he didn’t want to deal with reality. He’d rather hide inside his clouded mind somewhere.
A hand that gripped his shoulder shook him back to reality, unfortunately.
“Listen here,” a blonde-haired boy laughed out, gripping up the boy on the ground by his hair, forcing him to look up, “ Jake. You are nothing. You will forever be nothing, you’re not some fucking big-shot. Don’t act like you’re so high and mighty, you aren’t.”
Oh, right. His name was Jake, how’d he forget that?
“Honestly, you’re so lucky I don’t actually hurt you.”
But you are. My head stings from you pulling my hair, and my back is bruised.
“You’re just a big baby who cries at words. How on earth is that even possible?”
You tell me I’m worthless. Who wouldn’t cry?
“Tch. Fucking say something, damnit. ”
Jake just stared up at him, the fog entering his eyes once again. He drifted off to somewhere else. Where? He didn’t know. He wanted to be anywhere but here.
“ Fucking- forget it, he’s-”
Did he tie his shoes today?
“Doing the freaky weird shit-”
Huh, wait- did he brush his teeth?
“Like zoning out again, fucking freak-”
When Jake blinked, he was back. He was actually there. He glanced around. No one was in the hallway besides him. When did that happen? Actually, when did he get on the floor? Wasn’t he pushed or something?
Eh, who cares. Just your average Tuesday afternoon, Jake thought to himself, slightly laughing at his own joke.
He picked up his blue notebook whilst propping his back to the locker, and just stared at the big white music symbol that was engraved on the cover. His eyes trailed off to all of the smaller ones that danced around it, and he couldn’t even bring himself to feel anything.
Did he do something to deserve this? What was so wrong with singing that it prompted this reaction? Is it just.. Bad?
..
What a dumb question.
Singing is for people who have a future and are actually talented. God, why does he have to keep reminding himself that? Is he just that stupid that it goes in through one ear and out the other?
He’ll never be anything. He’ll just be nothing. The kids are right. If they were wrong, then why was everyone saying it? For the past 10 years, all he’s ever heard was that he was a freak who needs to spend his time doing something actually good that could contribute to the future he’ll lack.
He hasn’t ever met anyone else doing the same thing as him. Never met anyone with similar interests, or anyone who even wanted to hold just a single conversation with him.
So- why?
Why does he keep singing, knowing damn well it’s not going to get him anywhere? Is there a small part of him deep inside that is hoping desperately just for a day where he can find friends that he can consider family?
Whatever it is, he needs to find it and be rid of it.
Jake shouldn’t be mad at the other kids. They’re trying to help him! Even though they hate his guts, they want a good future for him. Shouldn’t he be thankful for that or even consider their words as truth just once? He’s just like they said, an ungrateful, selfish, brat.
A door opening somewhere snapped him back to reality, again. The soft thuds of heels clanking against the marble floor could be distantly heard behind him, before they disappeared behind another door opening and closing.
Huh, he should really start walking home.
Glancing back down towards his music book, he noticed it was.. wet?
There were several damp circles around, some meshing together to make ugly splotches of a darker blue. Some drops of water hadn’t been absorbed by the notebook yet.
Then another drop of water fell. He noticed it came from his chin.
He put a hand up to feel his chin, as it was tingling and itching slightly from the water droplet moving slowly across it. There was warm water, he could faintly smell sweat and salt.
He now had blurry vision, as big fat globs of water had rolled down his cheeks.
Oh.
Oh.
Jake was crying. He now just registered that. Shocking, honestly. He rarely ever cried. One thing he despised about crying was that once you start, you wouldn’t stop. For a long time. He desperately tried to breathe to keep his cries silent, but he just ended up hiccuping and heaving. There was no way that he could walk outside like this, that was a death wish for harassment.
Jake collected his things, aggressively shoving the blue notebook into his bag.
He did his best to not be too loud, afterall, school ended but now clubs were in session. That meant that kids were still present. It mattered a lot that Jake was crying because that meant more videos of him being a crybaby would circulate social media again, and he was not really up for that.
Keeping his head down, he speed-walked to the nearest bathroom. He noted that his sniffling and small sobs were becoming louder, against his will, and he didn’t like that.
Peeking inside, he made sure no one else was in there, then walked in and locked the bathroom. Of course, doing that was against the rules but he could not really give a flying tumbuck fuck about the rules at the moment. Despite him kinda deserving the crap he goes through at school, the staff can’t even stick to their own policy of ‘No Bullying!’. He shouldn’t have to follow their rules if they can’t even do it themselves.
Quickly leaning over the sink and staring into the mirror, he almost flinched back at his reflection.
He looked.. Awful.
His hair was messy, loose strands seemingly defying the laws of gravity. He also noticed bits and pieces of cereal and faint traces of spoiled milk in his golden locks, gagging slightly. When had that happened?
Oh wait- right, they had some cereal as a side snack for lunch today. That other kid dumped some in his hair. Ew.
He noticed that his nose and cheeks were irritated, and red. His face felt like it was burning from how rough his sleeve kept wiping it, trying to be permanently rid of the tears. Speaking of tears, those assholes were still falling down his face! A bit rude, if you ask him.
Jake leaned over the sink, rolling up his sleeves, and violently brushing his hair out with water from it. He scrubbed out the bits of cereal and the warm liquid washed out the milk as best it could. He sighed, eventually twisting the knob so the sink turned off. Jake just rested his arms over the counter of it, staring down. He just felt.. drained.
Jake glanced back up at his reflection to make sure nothing was too off, but he was taken aback by his face. A small sliver of fear climbed up his spine, and he flinched slightly when he had gotten a look at his eyes. God, his eyes were so ugly-
His eyes just looked.. hollow? Like what some kid said the other day, if he was in a horror movie, his eyes would make him the main attraction or something. He stared at his eyes, which were meant to be a warm brown, instead just looked like a terrifying, hollow, empty, void. Why did he look like that? He looked scary, he looked just oh so pitiful . His own fucking reflection was unnerving to stare at. How sad is that?
Just- what happened to him? He didn’t know, nor did he care. All he has to do is keep breathing and just walking. Eventually, time will pass and school will be over. But- then what? What next?
He can’t sing, that’s for sure. Who in their right mind would want to come see him? No one.
Rubbing his forehead to comfort the incoming migraine, a loud buzz made him jump and slide backwards from the slippery floor. Unfortunately, not many kids felt like keeping the sink-water inside the sink. Lots of them enjoyed flinging it everywhere, so the floor was a death trap if you weren’t careful.
Since Jake still was wearing his bookbag, it cushioned his fall a bit, but he still hit his elbow on the floor. Right on his ‘funny-bone’. Haha, the irony is that the bone is called funny, but when you hit it, you don’t laugh, you kinda cry instead. Or do both, whatever.
Jake groaned in annoyance, sitting up and grabbing his phone from his pocket. He checked to see who was calling and he slightly panicked when he realized it was his mother. Oh god, this would be interesting. He was supposed to be home a little while ago. Haha. Lord have mercy on him.
Accepting the call, Jake held the phone up to his ear, “Hey uh- hi-”
“ Jacob Sterling.”
Oh shit.
“Aha.. Jacob isn’t my actual nam-”
“ Where in god’s fucking full-name are you? You aren’t home. It’s 4:40PM already, you were dismissed at 3!”
Jake flinched slightly. How was it even 4PM? Last he checked it was still 2:55.
He tilted the phone away slightly and glanced at the time. 4:41PM. Shit.
“..Sorry. I’m still at school.”
“ Why are you still at the school, Jake?”
Jake went silent, not knowing how to respond. His brain was running a thousand miles per second, and his breathing picked up. What does he say? Does he tell the truth? Lie? What the hell should he-
“ Jake, are you there?”
“Oh uh-” Jake blinked, refocusing on the call, “yeah, I’m here.”
“You weren’t responding, is everything okay?”
“Yeah uh- I’m alright..” Jake gritted out, hoping his voice didn’t waver.
“ Listen I–” Jake could hear his mother sigh, “I’m worried about you. I didn’t mean to blow up at you like that bud, I was a bit worried when it had been almost 2 hours and you weren’t home yet.. you also weren’t answering your texts, so there’s that..”
Jake fumbled with his hoodie-strings, nervous.
“..You need me to come get you, bubba? If you do, I already have the car running since I had to buy some food..”
Jake carefully considered his options, walk outside and possibly be jumped by those kids since they do live close-by, as they go to the same friggin middle-school as him, or sit in a possibly awkward 10 minute car ride with his mother who smothered him 24/7.
..Yeah, listen, he’s a momma’s boy. Screw them kids.
“Could you um,” he took a deep breath, seemingly having it pick up again, “come here and pick me up, actually? I’m really sorry I-”
“Bubs, zip it. I offered to pick you up. No need for you to be apologizing.”
“Ah right- sorry.”
“I-” His mother paused for a moment, and Jake could practically see his mother rubbing her temples, “I’m coming to get you now. You want me to stay on the phone with you or do you still need to grab your stuff?”
“I’m alright mom, thank you.”
“No problem, sweetie. I’ll be there in 10.”
As he heard the call end, Jake let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His mother was too nice to him. He didn’t deserve that at all. Why was he always so ungrateful for all she does? She puts up with him constantly. It’s horrible.
He also realized he was still on the floor. Yeah- uh- he should probably get up.
Once he got the text from his mother that she was in the parking lot, he unlocked the bathroom door and peeked outside. Quickly checking left and right, he speed-walked out the door and made his way to the car. He climbed into the front and tossed his bag in the backseat.
Once Jake settled down, he let out a silent breath of relief. He didn’t know why, but just being in that school seemed to raise his anxiety.
“Jake?” he heard a voice call to his left.
“Oh-” Jake quickly turned to see his mother staring at him with concern, “..thanks for picking me up..”
Kristin, his mother, smiled at him, “No need to thank me,” she started to pull out of the parking lot, “did something happen at school today?”
“Huh-? What do you mean?”
“Sweetie, you stayed there for an extra hour and a half. You don’t have clubs, and I know you didn’t have detention. What happened?”
Jake’s hands felt extremely clammy, his heart started to beat slightly faster than normal.
“I fell asleep by accident,” he blurted out, the lie feeling like bile on his tongue.
Kristin went silent for a second, which was very concerning for Jake. Of course she wouldn’t buy that lie, what the hell was he thinking? Is he that stupid that he can’t even lie well?
“Oh. I see, did you not get enough sleep last night?”
Jake internally cheered happily and responded, “Yeah- uhm, I kinda stayed up late doing h-homework..”
His mother just hummed and focused back onto the road. Jake just glanced at her, and actually looking at her face, he could tell she didn’t believe him. But hey, if she didn’t ask about it, then there’s no problem.
They sat in a surprisingly comforting silence, with his mother occasionally humming that started to lull him to sleep. He blinked aggressively, trying to stay awake.
Wasn’t this car ride taking too long? They should’ve been home by now.
“Ah, I was making a stop somewhere really quick,” his mother replied.
Oh, he said that outloud.
“Where exactly-” Jake was asking, before he turned his head and was cut off by her quickly pulling into the McDonald’s drive thru. He immediately perked up, his mother giggling at his antics. She would park in the parking lot for Jake to finish his food.
Returning home, Kristin would open the door very carefully so as to not wake up a sleeping Jake, who rested peacefully in her arms. Balancing him at an angle with one arm, she kicked the door shut slowly with one leg before locking it, and re-adjusting her hold on Jake. Despite the height difference between her and Jake not being very big, with her being 5’8 and him being 5’4, she could still easily carry him which worried her.
Kristin glanced at the young boy in her arms, noticing how tired he looked. Even in his sleep, he looked tense. Something was going on with him, and she was sure it was something to do with that sad excuse for a school. She should also start paying attention to his diet a bit more, considering he was extremely light and small for his age. Perhaps he was just about to hit a giant growth-spurt soon? Kristin hoped that was the case.
Walking up the stairs and down the hallway quietly, she opened the bedroom door and carefully set Jake down on his bed, removing his shoes. Tucking him in, she kissed his forehead before flicking the switch for the fan to turn on and exiting his room.
Kristin had a couple of calls to make.
“So, how do you feel about you starting high school soon, hun?” Kristin asked Jake at the breakfast table, with Milo stuffing his face happily.
Jake just shrugged, “I dunno. I heard it would be a very giant building with lots of people or something..”
Kristin hummed, “Would you perhaps want to go to a private school?” she paused, “Rosemeadow high is probably going to have lots of kids.”
Jake quickly shook his head, frantically waving his hands, “Nonono, I’m fine with it! Large groups of people don’t bother me, I was just making an observation.. I guess..”
And because Private schools are pricey as hell, I’m not making her pay for that simply because I have some stupid anxiety! Jake thought.
“Okay~!, but just know, the offer still stands.”
Jake glanced up at his mother, and she just beamed a warm smile at him. Jake happily smiled back.
Maybe today would be a good day for once.