Chapter Text
Merlin, not for the first time, was struck by the beauty of his surroundings. Camelot was, and had always been, known as one of the most lovely Kingdoms to exist. Back in days long since gone, when magic persevered and worked in harmony with those without, the city shown with wonder and happiness. Many of the buildings, specifically the grand ones like the citadel and other smaller governing buildings, were even built by the magic that Camelot later grew to despise. After Merlin learned that, he had felt a sense of betrayal, but no surprise. Looking around Camelot, no one would be shocked to hear that their surroundings could only be from works of magic.
And despite this, he still couldn’t take his eyes off Arthur Pendragon.
Arthur had always been handsome, no one would contest that, but over the last few months as he grew into his new role as King he’s grown to be truly beautiful, and the city has only shown brighter for it.
Arthur has become the King Merlin had always dreamed him to be. He was loved by his people, noble and commoner alike, and was nothing like his father. He still struggled with his own feelings towards Uther Pendragon, but he has admitted to Merlin that he never wanted to rule as Uther did. Fear and viciousness were not Arthur’s ways and the people loved him for it all the more. There hadn’t been an execution since he had taken over, which Merlin found heartening. Slowly he was growing more and more excited for the future Arthur would bring, one where magic would hopefully be free in Camelot once more.
But, for now, Merlin was focused on a different problem. One that held an equal amount of risk and possibility of ruining the friendship they had built.
Merlin was in love with Arthur.
Without a doubt, he had fallen and there was little that could stop his descent. The more Arthur grew into himself the faster Merlin fell and the more impossible it felt to hide. When it first began it was just lingering hands when helping with his armor, or smiling at him for a little too long after Arthur had made a joke that Merlin surely should have been offended by. But overtime he became more and more obvious. Sometimes he would have to remind himself that it wasn’t just Arthur and him in the room, that others may be looking and see more than Merlin was strictly comfortable with.
Like now.
Merlin shook himself, realizing he had been staring. Luckily it wasn’t too catastrophic as Arthur was giving a speech to the Kingdom and everyone was staring at him, but, since Merlin wrote this particular speech, there was no reason for him to be watching Arthur quite as intensely.
Right as Merlin began to look away, Arthur seemed to notice and turned towards him. He met Merlin’s eyes, gave a small soft smile, then went back to talking to his Kingdom as if he had never looked away.
Merlin sighed wistfully. Yeah, he was a goner.
~
Later that day Merlin braced himself, before walking into the King's rooms, arms laden down with his hefty dinner.
“Merlin,” Arthur demanded as he walked in, crossing his arms, “Where were you?”
“Where was I when, Sire?” Merlin played dumb. Usually he sought Arthur out the moment one of his speeches were over and gave him a play by play of how he thought the people had taken whatever he was announcing. Arthur was always a little insecure after such a big event, so Merlin tried to be there and encourage him with any good news he had gathered from the people. This time Merlin didn’t think his notes would really do the King any good, unless his thoughts over how Arthur’s hair reflected the light like gold would help. Merlin didn’t think that was very likely, so he had decided to make himself scarce. And, unfortunately, Arthur had noticed.
“When?” Arthur scoffed, “After the speech, of course!”
Merlin blushed, “Oh, did you miss me?” He gave a cheeky smile. Merlin was, if he could say so himself, good at a great many things, and getting Arthur off topic was one of them.
“No!” Arthur denied, also turning a lovely rosy pink, “I just wanted to hear what the people thought of my speech,” Merlin smiled sadly. He was glad the heat was no longer on him, but sometimes he wished it didn’t require hearing how little Arthur needed him around. After all he could ask anyone what they thought and most of the castle staff would be honest with him. Merlin silently dreaded the day Arthur arrived at this conclusion too.
“Well, if you must know, they all thought your speech was beautifully written, but the delivery left some to be desired,” Arthur frowned in confusion before settling on a look of realization.
“And that’s what they said, not what you decided to take from their conversations to feed your big head?” Arthur scoffed.
“Is it so hard to believe that my speech writing is better than your giving, Sire?” Merlin smiled, trying not to laugh at Arthur’s constipated facial expression, “Seems like I’m not the one with the big head. Between that and your ridiculous tiaras, I’m surprised your neck hasn’t snapped.”
“My head is not big!” Arthur huffed, seeming to choke on a reluctant laugh, before growing more serious, “Now, really, how did they take it?”
Merlin sobered. Arthur, reluctantly, appreciated their banter, but his people came first. The fact that Merlin even got him to smile before talking about serious Kingdom matters again was surprising, “Arthur, you were informing them that you were lowering their yearly taxes. Of course they took it well, you dollophead,” Merlin smiled softly at the relieved look on Arthur’s face, “They love you Arthur,” realizing how much closer they had seemed to get, Merlin took a step back and cleared his throat, “Which I’ll never get, of course.”
Arthur continued to look at Merlin for a moment, his expression soft and open, “Of course.”
“Well,” Merlin continued, choosing to ignore the heavy atmosphere that had suddenly surrounded the pair, “I’ve brought you dinner. Wouldn’t want to starve.”
“Between the two of us, Merlin, I’m the least likely to starve. Have you even eaten today?” Arthur asked as he sat down at his table, Merlin moving in front of him to set his plate down.
“I don’t know, Sire, what day is it?” Merlin tried to joke, but it fell flat as Arthur looked at him in concern.
Arthur looked at Merlin as if trying to pull the memories of Merlin eating from his mind. As it began to get awkward, Arthur reached out a hand and gestured for Merlin to sit, “Well, I can’t have you passing out. Who else would help me bathe later?” Merlin stared at him in confusion for a moment more until Arthur huffed in frustration, “Sit, Merlin. There is more than enough for the both of us.”
Merlin looked at him in surprise, but moved forward to take the offered seat. This wasn’t the first time he had shared Arthur’s dinner, but it was the first time he was directly invited to do so. Usually he just stole stuff from his plate while he moved around the room cleaning and listening to Arthur complain about selfish manservants. This time felt very different from those and he could feel a warmth deep in his chest at the care Arthur was showing him. A care that he so rarely expressed for anyone, much less Merlin himself.
“Oh, um, thanks,” Merlin stuttered. He expected Arthur to make a joke about his lack of brain cells or something similar, but Arthur just smiled and turned back to his dinner, beginning to push half of it to the side of the plate closest to Merlin.
“Now, what were you saying the other day about the Cook’s nephew and that girl? What was her name, Daisy?”
Merlin huffed a laugh, “Paisley, Arthur, not Daisy!” Arthur gave a slight smile, but didn’t say anything in his defense, “But I’m glad you reminded me, so much has happened since the other day! I heard Jensen tell Mary that Clarence told him that the Cook’s nephew is thinking of asking Paisley to run away with him!” As Merlin went on about the latest drama in the castle he tried to ignore the fluttering feeling he got from the way Arthur’s smile was focused on him.
He failed.
~
After dinner, it was finally time for the task Merlin both looked forward to and absolutely dreaded. Bath time.
Over the last few months helping Arthur undress and bathe has become more and more awkward for Merlin. It was always a little odd, helping a grown man get naked and scrubbed down was never going to feel normal, but the more attracted to Arthur he became, the more creepy and uncomfortable he felt.
As Arthur stood, Merlin moved forward and began to help him undo his shirt clasps. “ Mer lin, you girl, are you blushing?” Merlin felt the red on his face intensify at Arthur’s words.
“No, you prat! If my face is red it’s from rage for having to deal with you!” This might have been more convincing if Merlin could meet Arthur’s eyes as he said it, but unfortunately that was a task too demanding for the manservant right then.
Merlin, despite being unable to look directly at Arthur, noticed his eyes widen a fraction before a cocky smile overtook the King’s face. Why that was a face Merlin was so ungodly attracted to, he would never know.
Well, if he didn’t count all the reasons Merlin had listed in one of his notebooks when he couldn’t focus the other night. However, there really wouldn’t be much of Arthur left if they were discounted. Merlin chose to ignore that. There was only so much embarrassment one could take.
Arthur laughed, more softly than Merlin had heard from him since he had become King a few months back, “Oh, Merlin you truly are a terrible liar.”
Merlin felt the beginnings of guilt hit him and didn’t reply.
~
A few days later Merlin was rushing to the armory when he overheard soft murmuring coming from the kitchens. Merlin, being more nosey than he’d want to admit, would normally try to listen, or even join in on whatever gossip the kitchen staff were surely discussing, but this time he was truly in a rush. He had forgotten to sharpen Arthur’s favorite practice sword, even thought Arthur had reminded him multiple times the day before, and he needed it in the next hour so he, for once, didn’t really have the time for gossip.
Or at least that’s what he thought, until he overheard his own name being said. Then suddenly he decided he could make the time. As stealthily as he could, he crept forward and hovered by the doorway, ear pointed toward the crack in order to best hear the low murmuring.
“That’s just what I heard, anyway,” One of the girls whispered.
“I just don’t get it. Usually when they fight the details are all over the castle! What’s so different this time?”
Merlin tried to figure out what they could be talking about, but came up empty. Fight? Why would his name come up when they were discussing two people having an argument. He knew he could be rather hot headed sometimes, but, at least most of the time, he knew when he was in the middle of a fight with someone.
“I just feel so bad for Merlin! It seems he doesn’t even notice! Or maybe he’s embarrassed?” Merlin crept closer, hoping to finally get a puzzle piece that completed the confusing picture being described to him, “I mean I know I would be a little funny about it if the King were always staring at me the way he does Merlin. I mean, if I didn’t know better, I would think he thought Merlin a traitor!”
Merlin felt his stomach drop. Arthur? Watching him like he could be a traitor? How Merlin could have missed that, he wasn’t sure, but it left him feeling completely off-balance. Did Arthur know something about his magic? Is that why he could be watching him? Surely not though. If Arthur knew something Merlin would definitely know. Arthur is many things, but subtle is not one of them, especially when magic is involved.
Merlin began to back up, having heard enough. He turned abruptly, going the opposite direction from the armory.
If he’s to confront Arthur on possibly being seen as a traitor, it would likely be best to not do so with a freshly sharpened sword in hand.
~
Merlin stomped into Arthur’s chambers, attempting to calm down his raging emotions, but ultimately failing and turning to the easiest one to process. Anger.
He had done everything, quite literally everything , for this prat of a King for years and rather than be gratefully he gets watched like a common miscreant? And, for once, he hadn’t even done anything! Camelot had been more peaceful the last month than Merlin had ever seen it, and Arthur chose then to decide Merlin wasn’t trustworthy?
Arthur straightened up and tensed as the door burst open, only to relax again once his eyes landed on Merlin, “How many times, Merlin, do I have to tell you that knocking is not only wanted, but expected?”
Merlin felt his eye twitch before moving forward, “About as many times as it seems that I have to inform you that you’re a right arse, Arthur Pendragon!”
Arthur’s eyes widened before his face was overtaken by a mix of confusion and annoyance, “And what, might I ask, have I possibly done to earn your ire?”
“I could ask the same!” Merlin burst out, “I’ve done nothing, but show my loyalty to you and still you don’t trust me!”
Merlin felt the tension in the room increase as Arthur finally met Merlin’s anger with his own, “Merlin, I don’t know what you’re screaming about, but I know you’re trustworthy,” Merlin opened his mouth to argue his point, but Arthur continued, “But it seems you don’t believe the same,” he declared angrily, “I have done nothing but look for reasons to keep you at my side and still you feel the need to fight with me over my dedication to you?”
Merlin took a step forward, some of his anger abating in the face of Arthur’s disappointment, “So, you’re not watching me to see if I’m up to something?” Arthur’s eyes widened in confusion, which was all the answer that Merlin really needed. He looked away in guilt, “Some of the other servants seemed to think you were watching me because you were upset about something, but I couldn’t think of anything I could have done, so I just assumed…”
Arthur gave a surprised, and seemingly nervous, laugh, “No, Merlin, I haven’t been watching you because I distrust you. Should I be? A guilty conscience doesn’t bode well,” Merlin felt a stone grow in his stomach, feeling a mix of guilt and fear, but Arthur just gave another laugh, clearly not meaning it as anything but a joke.
Merlin felt better about Arthur’s faith in him, but was still confused about the situation and had a distinct feeling that Arthur was trying to change the subject, “So you have been watching me then? But not because you think I’m doing something wrong or are upset at me?”
Now it was Arthur’s turn to refuse to meet his eyes, “I didn’t realize I had been so obvious.”
Obvious?
Merlin would have asked what Arthur meant, but was cut off by Arthur’s mouth over his own.
Oh. Obvious.
He felt Arthur tense as Merlin failed to reciprocate in his surprise, but once Merlin realized what was happening he leaned forward, trying to keep Arthur from pulling away. Slowly they found themself entwined with one another, Arthur’s arms wrapped around Merlin’s waist, caressing his sides as if ensuring himself that Merlin was still there, and Merlin’s hands trapped in Arthur’s messy hair.
They slowly made their way over the bed, hips bumping against various pieces of furniture and huffing small laughs as they refused to be separated, despite the obstacles in their way.
Merlin felt himself collapse backwards, Arthur hovering over him after they had crossed the room and reached King’s bed, “Are you sure?” Arthur murmured, in between biting at Merlin’s neck greedily.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” Merlin moaned.
~
Later, Merlin laid awake over a sleeping Arthur’s chest, still trying to process all that had happened. How they had gone from longing glances to… this in one afternoon, he wasn’t quite sure.
Merlin closed his eyes, trying to savor the moment, but felt a shiver crawl up his spine. He tucked himself under the blankets, Arthur’s blankets , more snuggly to avoid the draft the room had gained. Maybe it was his paranoia speaking, but it felt like the cool breeze that always came before a devastating storm.