Work Text:
--------
For the second time that night, Shepherd hit pause on the movie, glaring at his nonplussed friend. "....I ain't gonna go make ya more. Ya hafta make it yourself this time. The packages are on top of the microwave, jus'... follow the instructions."
With a nod, Sarnax picked up his popcorn bowl and began to head upstairs, calling back. "I did not eat it all that quickly this time. I do not understand why you are upset with me, Shepherd."
"Nah, cuz ya kept letting Justice eat it! Hold th' bowl up higher, an' don't fall for his 'starvin' dog' routine! He gets fed plenty!" Grumbling, Shepherd pulled out his phone. His fears immediately calmed after his search, which revealed that, yes, dogs could have popcorn.
He never noticed that too much time had passed until the smell hit him. The unmistakable stench of burnt popcorn.
"...aw fuck. 'Naaaax, what did you do?"
"I have made popcorn."
Holding the bowl up proudly, Sarnax returned from the kitchen, seating himself. One glance could see the burnt edges of almost every piece of popcorn. Despite this, he happily devoured a handful almost immediately, raising an eyebrow at Shepherd.
"I have returned. We may resume the movie."
"...'Nax. Ya burnt it pretty bad. Are ya sure ya wanna eat that..?"
A small frown crossed his friends face. He looked towards his prize. "I have? I merely used the button labeled 'popcorn' on the microwave."
"No, no, that's not for that kinda pop-...well it is.. but nobody uses that button. It always burns. Jus' go by the directions, ok?"
"I apologize. I will do so next time. And yes, I am going to eat this. It is extra crunchy. "
".... alrigh'. Think the smells startin' to fade...a lil'. .. so let's keep goin'."
He hit play again, settling back in his seat and trying to ignore the faint aroma of burnt popcorn coming from Sarnax's bowl. And just like that, fourty five minutes later, credits began to roll as another film was completed, added to the pile of cases they were starting to accumulate beside the tv.
Shepherd stood and stretched, eyeing the once-again empty bowl as the pair of them trooped upstairs for drink refills. "Ok, what the fuck. That's -three- bags of popcorn you've had in like... the last two hours. Didja not eat today or somethin'?"
"No, I...ate. I am... fairly certain I did...?" Sarnax paused on the stairs, deep in thought, and had to be nudged up the last step by his friend. He trailed behind Shepherd towards the kitchen, setting his bowl on the counter.
"Wouldn't count th' lil' snack things that Victoria brings to your study sessions as a meal."
"Then... I may not have eaten at all. I was very occupied the entire day, and I suppose I just... forgot. That would explain a great many things..."
Groaning loudly, Shepherd yanked the fridge door open, pointing towards the various foodstuffs inside."'Nax, I swear to all the gods. Eat somethin'. There's all sortsa stuff in here, eat whatever ya want, Doc don't care. No, ya ain't arguing with me, ya gotta eat somethin' besides popcorn an' drinks."
"...I was not going to argue. I merely wished to know if I could...?"
"... I did buy that popcorn for ya, so yeah, I guess ya can make some more. We ain't done movie night yet... but ya gotta let me have at least -some- this time. "
With a nod, Sarnax unwrapped another bag, staring at the microwave. "...so... not that popcorn button, but by the instructions. How do you make this in... four minutes, then?"
"...Ya hit the four, then th' zeros, then start. Have... ya never used a micro-"
The phone ringing interrupted him. Groaning again, Shepherd picked up and wandered outside. "Hey, Doc. Nah, we just finished one an' we're gonna start the second in a few... what? No, -you- said you were gonna do-... oh hell no, I didn't say that, how-... gods dammit, will ya jus'-...!"
Arguments with Doc were intense, loud, and could sometimes last for far longer than they needed to. By the time he had finally calmed the both of them down and hung up the phone, it had been close to ten minutes.
Nothing could have prepared him for the chaos inside.
A shoe sailing through the air made him duck as it slammed into the smoke detector, knocking it onto the floor. Looking as close to panicked as he could get, Sarnax frantically waved a small cloud of smoke away from the open microwave. The whole room stank of burnt popcorn.
"... holy shit, what the hell happened?!"
"I... I was eating and not paying attention to the time... I turned around and saw smoke, and I cannot reach the smoke detector, so I... threw something so it would not go off. I thought it would stop at the proper time?"
Leaning down, trying to ignore the mess, Shepherd peered at the timer.
"'Nax. Buddy. That ain't four minutes, that's forty minutes. Ya hit too many zeros."
"...oh. I... did not notice. I apologize profusely, Shepherd."
Grabbing the smoking bag with two fingers, Shepherd marched to the door and flung it outside as far as he could. "Th' birds'll eat that, guaranteed. Here's hopin' if we leave th' microwave door open, it'll help with the smell..."
Unfortunately for both of them, this was not the case. And as they stood there later on, being thoroughly chewed out by the Doc, Shepherd made a mental note to check if his friend knew how to operate an appliance -before- letting him make food next time.