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The first time it happened, it was confusing.
Tsukasa Tenma has always been in love with Rui Kamishiro. That boy meant the world to him. Rui's contagious cat- like smile that never failed to put one in his own face, his soft laughter, his beautiful golden eyes, his intelligence and beauty..
Tsukasa loved all of it. He loved all of Rui.
Which is why he didn't understand why he had to suffer for it.
Enter: Tsukasa's bedroom. He was sitting on a chair in front of his desk, doing homework as he hummed along to a song he was listening to. Unfortunately, he couldn't focus.
Because something- someone, else was on his mind.
Which was Rui Kamishiro.
Tsukasa was aware of this big crush he had on him. He realized his feelings and came to terms with them quite a while ago, actually. But he could never bring himself to say anything.
Because Rui Kamishiro wouldn't love somebody like Tsukasa Tenma. No, he wouldn't. There was absolutely no way he could. Tsukasa wasn't cool like everyone else. He didn't have special talents like everyone else.
Emu was bright, even more so than him. She never failed to put a smile on anyones faces. Her joyful aura and ability to cheer everyone up was something Tsukasa could never match up with. He could try. He has tried. But nothing can match Emu Otori's confidence and positivity.
Nene has been childhood friends with Rui for quite a while. She knows him better than Tsukasa himself does- of course she does, she's known him since they were children. Plus, she's a great songstress and actress. Way better than Tsukasa ever could be. He couldn't even begin to rival her in terms of acting or singing.
Mizuki and Rui know each other very well, too. When Rui was in a dark place, Mizuki helped make him feel better. And when Mizuki was in a dark place, Rui did the same. Their relationship was tighter and definitely more deeper than what Tsukasa had with him. And Mizuki was beautiful. They were pretty. They could sew, they could edit and do cool stuff that Tsukasa never could.
Tsukasa wasn't anything like them. He couldn't even begin to try and be like them. Because Tsukasa wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough for anyone, especially not Rui. Rui didn't deserve someone as shitty as him.
Tsukasa Tenma was not special, no matter what he wanted to believe. No matter what people said to him, it was clear that Tsukasa Tenma was not special.
He never would be.
He would never be good enough for Rui.
Tsukasa didn't like thinking about these things.
He hated it when his mind started to belittle himself, stating the obvious just so it could remind him that you will never be good enough to date someone like Rui.
He knows.
Tsukasa already knows that. He doesn't need anything else rubbing salt in a freshly open wound that he was trying so hard to hide from everyone else.
Fuck.
The blond felt his eyes sting.
Come on, and now he's a crybaby, too.
But somehow, this hurt a bit more. Like it was being forced out of him.
Tsukasa could hear a faint twinkling noise as something small fell onto his notebook and caught his attention.
And another.
And another.
Tsukasa picked one of the strange items up as even more began falling onto his notebook, forming a large pile.
His eyes started hurting. He didn't like that.
Tsukasa held the item up to his eye, examining it carefully.
It was a small, star- shaped crystal. Tsukasa could see a rainbow refracting off of the transparent gem. It was.. very pretty.
It looked beautiful, honestly.
But where were they coming from?
Tsukasa looked around. The shimmering noise continued as the crystals began to pile onto his lap. Suddenly, the blond haired boy came to a realization.
Were they.. coming out of my eyes?
Standing up, Tsukasa hurried over to his full body mirror that he kept leaning against his wall. Sure enough, as the twinkling sound continued, tiny, crystallized stars were also forming from his eyes and falling down, now creating yet another pile on the ground.
It was strange to watch. His eyes stung as the stars kept slipping out and falling to the ground, and it hurt when he tried to blink them away. Blinking hurt.
Tsukasa tried wiping his eyes, but that didn't work, either. It was strange, because it didn't even feel or look like he was crying. His nose wasn't red, his eyes weren't puffy and there were no tear stains. Random crystals just.. seemed to be pouring out from his eye sockets instead of tears.
What was this? Why wouldn't it stop?
So, the next few minutes, Tsukasa ran into the bathroom and hid himself there for a bit, trying to stop himself from continuing to cry stars. Eventually, they slowed down, and finally, they stopped soon after. Now his bathroom and bedroom were both littered with small, crystal stars that came from his own body somehow.
Strangely, Tsukasa didn't want to throw them away. So he quickly snatched a broom and swept all the stars up into one large pile in the middle of his bedroom floor. He picked up the small pieces that the broom didn't catch, and dumped them into the pile, too. The ones on his desk and chair also went into the large pile of stars. Then, Tsukasa grabbed a shoebox and began scooping up a handful of the crystals and dropping them into the box. All the stars he cried combined somehow filled half the box, which was surprising, because Tsukasa thought it would be more full. The pile was quite large, but in the end, looks really can deceive.
Tsukasa put the lid on the shoebox, and quickly wrote 'Star things' on the top before deciding to hide it inside his closet, in the corner.
The blond paused, looking around the now- clean room that showed no trace of Tsukasa ever having cried tiny, crystallized stars instead of normal salty, liquid tears like a normal person would.
Should he tell someone about it?
The first person that came to mind, naturally, was Tsukasa's beloved sister, Saki Tenma. But Saki had other things to worry about, and he didn't want to make her more concerned. The same went with Toya. He was already busy with other things, and besides, he doubted they would believe him at first.
Then he thought of his troupe. Maybe he could tell Emu, Nene, or Rui..?
No.
Again, he immediately shut down the thought. Nene would call him crazy, Emu wouldn't take it seriously, and Rui...
He didn't want Rui to think even less of what he already thought of Tsukasa.
The blond sighed, running his fingers through his hair. 'Looks like this secrets going to the grave,' he thought.
Whatever. Maybe this was all a strange dream, and Tsukasa would wake up the next day and everything would be normal.
I should get my homework done.
————
The second time it happened, unfortunately, was at school.
Tsukasa had finished his homework, went to bed, woke up the next day, and everything was normal. He didn't even care to acknowledge the shoebox in the corner of his closet. Surely, it was all just some weird hallucination or dream. Maybe it was a one- time thing.
Hopefully, it was.
The school day was as normal as it could be with someone like Tsukasa Tenma. Everyone treated him normally as if he hadn't started crying stars last night. Either way, they didn't know, so that a was a good thing. Tsukasa didn't wanted anyone thinking differently of him because of that. He was thankful that he didn't tell anyone- he didn't need people worrying over something so silly.
Right?
Everything was completely normal. 100% fine. Tsukasa payed attention in class. He took notes, made some little doodles inside the margins when there was nothing else to jot down, and did his work flawlessly (Probably. The morning subjects he had weren't exactly his best subjects). Next thing he knew, the lunch bell rang. All the students in the classroom collectively stood up. Some students webt to talk to their friends, others left the classroom to go to the cafeteria or meet up with other people. Tsukasa was doing the latter. He grabbed his leather bag, slinging the strap over his shoulder as he walked over to the door and left with a wave of other students.
It was the same routine. Every single day. He'd get his bag, leave the classroom, and make a beeline for the rooftop. Because that's where him and Rui always met together to eat lunch and discuss random topics, whether it be about the next play they were rehearsing for, upcoming tests and exams, or just anything and everything. And today, it would stay the same.
But as Tsukasa walked up the stairs to the rooftop, his footsteps echoing across the stairwell, he stopped. Something felt.. wrong, all of a sudden.
Tsukasa felt like crying. He didn't understand why.
Shaking his head, Tsukasa pushed those feelings deep down. It was stupid. He couldn't just randomly burst into tears (actual, actual tears) just because he felt like it. That was dumb. No star would ever do something as embarrassing as that!
"Get yourself together, Tsukasa," The blond hissed under his breath, slapping his cheeks lightly. "There's never anything to cry about. You're just meeting up with Rui like always!"
So Tsukasa sighed, shaking his head once more and continued ascending the long staircase. When he finally reached the door, he swung it open and saw Rui leaning against the fence, a small yet content smile on his face as he tinkered with a small robot that sat on his lap.
Hearing the loud sound of the door opening, Rui looked up at Tsukasa. His smile immediately grew wider as he called out his name and waved him over. "Hello, Tsukasa-kun~!"
Tsukasa nodded back at Rui, saying a quick "hello" back as he closed the door shut and ran over to him.
"What are you working on?" Tsukasa asked, "Is that for the next show?"
Rui smiled, holding the robot up to Tsukasa and nodding. "Yup~!" He sang, "This'll just be one of the many chickens in the farm. Look, isn't he cute?"
The blond nodded, laughing as Rui held the chicken closer to his face. "Yeah- hey! Stop that-!" He exclaimed, pushing him and the robot chicken away.
And it was like that for the rest of lunch. Rui spent his time multitasking between eating his food and working on the robot (And clearly prioritizing the robot. A red-faced Tsukasa had to feed him a couple times), while Tsukasa just watched Rui work his magic as he ate his own food.
It was like Tsukasa and Rui were just friends. It was as if one of them wasn't horrifically crushing on the other, but knew that their feelings wouldn't ever be reciprocated.
Rui deserved so much better than him.
Fuck, now he's thinking about that shit again even when Rui Kamishiro himself was sitting right next to him, oblivious to the fact that Tsukasa was pining over him. He was too absorbed in his work to care about the fact that Tsukasa was nervously staring into his eyes with cheeks that were tinted red.
And the worst part wasn't even the fact that Rui could do so much better than someone like him. It was the fact that Tsukasa didn't even know if he liked guys. But that didn't even matter. Mizuki or Nene could be so much better than Tsukasa.
Rui would probably think he was weird for liking guys. That wasn't normal. Tsukasa Tenma was never a normal person. He cried stars. He liked men. He was selfish and loud and annoying and childish and impulsive and-
And suddenly, Tsukasa heard a faint jingle as he felt something fall onto his lap.
His eyes widened as he looked down at his lap.
A single, small star shaped geode sat on Tsukasa's thighs. The twinkling sound was heard once more, and directly followed by another crystal. And another.
And another.
Thankfully, they weren't falling as fast, but if Rui saw then..
Tsukasa couldn't let they happen.
So the blond stood up quickly, grabbing his bag while also hiding his face from Rui and pocketing each star that fell into his hands.
"Tsukasa?" Rui began, frowning. "Are you alright-?"
"Yeah I just um- I have to go to the washroom," Tsukasa stammered quickly. He rushed out of the roof, running down the stairs to find the nearest washroom.
Why was it happening again? Why was he crying stars? What the hell was even going on?!
Tsukasa gasped as he saw the washroom sign in the distance. He sprinted over, immediately shutting the door behind him and crouching down to check if anybody was inside. Thankfully, he was alone.
Tsukasa looked at himself in the mirror.
He was crying stars.
Again.
It wasn't a one-time thing. It was reoccurring, Tsukasa realized. It was going to happen again and again and again and he wouldn't know why his tears were like this- weird, solidified star- shaped crystals.
Tsukasa was a fucking freak.
He let out a choked sob, and still, even though he expected normal, liquid tears to pour of his eyes, they didn't. Instead, his eyes stung painfully as the stars kept spilling out from his eye sockets, falling into the sink and taking a ride down the drain into the sewers.
At least nobody would see them that way, getting washed away into the plumbing system.
Tsukasa inhaled sharply, leaning against the sink as his lips quivered and let out an occasional hiccup or sob.
How pathetic.
Stars don't cry. Stars were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to help others, they were supposed to shine a light on everyone else and make them happy. But how could Tsukasa do that?
He couldn't. Because Tsukasa Tenma was not a star. Tsukasa Tenma was a freak.
————
He returned to Rui like nothing ever happened.
————
When the tears came for a third time, Tsukasa wanted them to come.
Tsukasa was sitting at home in front of the mirror, the shoebox of stars laying open and ready for use underneath him. That way, he wouldn't need to clean anything up since all the stars he would cry just went into the box.
He wanted to know what was going on. Tsukasa inhaled deeply, then exhaled. He needed to test things out.
"Just think of sad things," Tsukasa mumbled to himself. "Like you do when you have to fake cry for a show."
The blond closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in his thoughts. His deep insecurities and fears.
He heard a quiet shimmering noise, and a soft plop as he felt a star drop from his eyes and into the shoebox. The sound kept on going, overlapping as they were accompanied by the same star-shaped geodes that fell from his eyes and tumbled down into the shoebox with a myriad of other crystals of the same shape.
Tsukasa opened his eyes. They flickered over to the mirror, and he placed a hand below his eyelid as he watched himself cry these tiny, crystalline stars.
He picked up a star, looking at it in awe. But at the same time, he was disgusted. He hated how beautiful they were. How his inner pain and suffering lead to something so shiny, something so beautiful as light reflected through them. The worst part was, he couldn't tell anyone about it. His suffering had to be kept to himself, otherwise everyone else would think worse of him.
A pit of dread settled in Tsukasa's stomach as he continued to stare at the star. He was scared. Tsukasa was scared of what would happen. He knew this wasn't normal, he's established that quite a few times already. But he's genuinely never heard of something like this before.
But then, suddenly, Tsukasa had an idea. He thought of someone he could share this news to.
The VIRTUAL SINGERS.
Tsukasa could tell them. Miku, KAITO, Rin, Len, Luka, MEIKO- they were manifestations of his own feelings. They could help him. They would understand him. If Tsukasa wanted the VIRTUAL SINGERS to keep this strange phenomenon a secret, they gladly would.
Snatching his phone from the floor beside him, Tsukasa opened up the file that lead to his very own world- his very own SEKAI. Tapping the play button on The World Hasn't Even Started Yet, Tsukasa was enveloped in a shower of triangular particles of all shapes, colours, and sizes. His vision went white as felt himself be teleported to a whole new world.
Carnival music flooded his ears as Tsukasa arrived in his SEKAI. The sky was painted in light shades of orange, pink, and yellow, and clouds that were tilted were stretched across it like cotton balls. Balloons and bubbles floated up higher and higher which each second, and every time one flew away into the endless atmosphere, another one magically manifested and the cycle continued on and on. All the rides and booths were in full swing, with the flying train being visible as it slowly rode atop the rainbow train tracks. The ferris wheel was moving as well. Tsukasa could see Rin and Len inside of the cars, striking cool poses and laughing happily as they did so. The plushies ran around the Wonderland, happily playing games with one another and calling out to Tsukasa as they passed.
Immediately, the blond felt a soft smile creep onto his face. This place never failed to make him smile. Even before he knew it, the crystals stopped falling.
Tsukasa looked around the space a bit more before making a beeline towards the large tent to his left. Kaito was probably inside, maybe accompanied by MEIKO, Luka, or Miku. His best guess was probably Miku. If MEIKO was there, then Luka wasn't far away- and vice versa. They were always near each other, with Luka constantly falling asleep and MEIKO being the one taking care of her whenever she did.
The blond entered the tent, and sure enough, KAITO was standing there, seeming to sort out some props into a couple of boxes. However, he was alone. So everyone else was probably doing something different.
"KAITO!" Tsukasa called out, jogging towards the VIRTUAL SINGER.
Said Vocaloid turned around, shooting a smile at the blond. "Oh! Hello, Tsukasa," He greeted, standing up and dusting off his pants. "What brings you here?"
Tsukasa rocked back and forth, awkwardly twiddling his thumbs as he suddenly grew nervous.
What should he do? How was Tsukasa supposed to tell him now..?
"Well, uh, there's something I have to tell you," Tsukasa began, looking up at KAITO. "And uh, this might sound weird, like, REALLY, weird, but you're the ONLY person I can tell so promise you'll believe me?!"
KAITO's eyes widened at Tsukasa's statement. He seemed so fidgety, so nervous about telling him this. So the Vocaloid smiled, placing a warm hand on Tsukasa's shoulder. "Of course I'll believe you. I'm made up of your feelings, Tsukasa. You can tell me anything."
Tsukasa nodded, blinking back the stars that he felt were coming again from the telltale stinging he felt in his eye sockets. He didn't understand why he was getting so emotional over something this small. It was just a gesture. "Okay. Well uhh, so yesterday.. I was um- doing my homework, but then I started thinking and I got lost in my thoughts and-"
Tsukasa's eyes widened when he felt a single star slip out from his eyes.
Are you kidding me?
The blond's speech was interrupted when suddenly, the stars began falling down once more, making a small pile on the floor in between himself and KAITO, who was watching with wide eyes.
"Ah-" Tsukasa inhaled sharply, "I- this.."
He couldn't get his sentence out. Instead, Tsukasa began shaking violently as the crystals kept falling down his eye sockets. He aggressively wiped at his eyes, trying to get the tears to stop but they wouldn't. They wouldn't stop coming and he wouldn't stop crying.
KAITO pursed his lips. He wasn't sure of what to say. So he pulled Tsukasa into a tight, warm hug, feeling how violently the blond was shaking as he started sobbing into KAITO's chest. His cries were muffled as he buried himself into the Vocaloids body. But the worst part was the fact that the tears were still in the form of stars. They still weren't normal. They wouldn't ever be normal.
KAITO sighed, continuing to cradle the whimpering boy in his arms as he rubbed circles around his back and whispered words of comfort to Tsukasa.
"Is this what you wanted to tell me about, Tsukasa?" KAITO whispered, his robotic voice harbouring a soft, low tone.
Tsukasa sniffed, breathing heavily as he nodded.
"I- I don't know what to do..!" Tsukasa cried, "I'm- I'm crying stars, KAITO! Th- This isn't normal! I don- I don't know what this is- there's- there's something- something wrong with me-!"
KAITO took out a handkerchief, wiping (or, trying to) the stars away from Tsukasa's eyes. Eventually, they stopped, and a messy pile of crystal stars now laid on the floor in front of the two boys. "Oh, Tsukasa.."
Tsukasa sniffed, rubbing his eyes. "K-KAITO.." He mumbled quietly, looking up at the VIRTUAL SINGER with a fearful look, "What.. What do I do..?"
KAITO frowned. He knelt down, picking up a star and examining it. "I.. I'm sorry Tsukasa. I wish I knew what to do.."
KAITO didn't know. Tsukasa let that revelation sink in.
"But," The blue- haired male piped up, "I think I might know what this is."
Tsukasa's eyes immediately widened, and he gasped. "Do you know?!" He exclaimed, "What is it?! What's wrong with me, KAITO?!"
KAITO sighed, running his hands through his hair, "I believe it's called.. Star Tears."
"..Original." Tsukasa blurted out.
"Original name, indeed," KAITO chuckled at the blonds comment. "Continuing on, I believe that Star Tears Disease comes from.. unrequited love."
Tsukasa's face paled.
"Unrequited.. love?" He repeated, his voice shaky.
KAITO nodded. "Tsukasa, is there someone who you.. may have feelings for?"
Tsukasa gulped. "I.. do."
"Then I think you should tell them how you feel," KAITO suggested. Tsukasa mentally thanked him for not asking who, as well as the gender neutral pronouns for privacy. But..
"What if they don't.. reciprocate?" Tsukasa whispered, his tone fearful as he looked up at the VIRTUAL SINGER.
KAITO bit his lip. "..Unfortunate things."
"Like what?"
"I know that you could either go colourblind or lose your sight completely," KAITO began, "I think there's a possibility that you could also lose all your memories, too."
Tsukasa's inhaled shakily.
That was horrible. He couldn't..
But it was Rui.
Rui didn't love him back. That was a fact. Rui would never love Tsukasa back.
"Could you.. die?"
Immediately, KAITO frantically shook his head no. "Oh- of course not!"
At least that's a plus. If you could even count that as one.
"KAITO.." Tsukasa began, "Can you promise me to not tell anyone else about this?"
The blue-haired VIRTUAL SINGER blinked in surprise. "Tsukasa, are you sure about that? It might be better to tell someone than keep it to yourself.."
Tsukasa immediately shook his head in response. "No," He protested, "I don't want to make anyone else worried. Besides, it's not like they'd take me seriously anyway. It'd better if I just keep it a secret."
"So don't tell anyone, please?" Tsukasa pleaded.
KAITO nodded. "Alright. I promise, I'll keep it a secret. But take care of yourself, Tsukasa." He muttered, giving Tsukasa another quick hug. "I don't want to see you get hurt, alright?"
Tsukasa nodded back, chuckling. "Yeah. Thanks, KAITO."
With that, Tsukasa left SEKAI.
But as KAITO began to clean up the stars on the floor, they began to float upwards. His eyes widened as he followed the stars. They seemed to be flying up into the sky, out of view and shielded from the sun.
But as the sun went down and the moon rose high above the sky, KAITO couldn't help but notice a specific cluster of stars twinkling brightly in the inky black sky.
"How beautiful."
————
It had been almost a week since Tsukasa found out how dangerous this truly was.
Ever since then, things seemed to only get worse for Tsukasa. He had lost count of how many times he cried- but it was happening way too much. He found it way more difficult to keep all his emotions in check than before. Whenever Saki would leave the house to hang out with her friends, Tsukasa would find himself rubbing at his eyes as he sobbed. When he saw Toya smile brightly the other day, Tsukasa excused himself so he could hide his shimmering crystallized star tears.
He didn't understand it at all. He didn't know why he was getting so emotional over things that were so little, things that shouldn't affect him anymore. Seeing people smile, seeing people leave, getting a question wrong on a test, hearing a startling sound.
There was no reason to cry over these things. Tsukasa didn't get it. He didn't get why he was losing control and he hated it. He despised it.
Three shoeboxes were piled on top of each other inside the closet, all filled with the beautiful gems that came from his own pain and suffering.
One thing he's noticed about them, as Tsukasa examined all the crystals one day, was how they seemed to be changing colour. It was very small, yet noticeable. At the start, the tears were completely transparent- he could see clearly through them. But slowly, as Tsukasa cried more and more, the tears seemed to gain colour. They were still see-through, but there was a small, barely recognizable yellow tint to the more recent stars. If anything, the crystals seemed to be growing more translucent rather than transparent as they originally were.
"Tsukasa!" Nene's voice called out from somewhere behind him. Tsukasa snapped out of his thoughts, whipping his head upwards. "Yeah?"
"Come help Rui and I with this!" Nene exclaimed. She and Rui were holding what seemed to appear as quite the large and heavy box, and even with two people holding it up, they both seemed to be struggling.
And seeing them struggle made Tsukasa want to burst into tears.
Even so, Tsukasa nodded, hopping up from the bench he was sitting on and jogged over to Rui and Nene to help. He took the middle of the box, as the other two were taking the sides.
"Woah," Tsukasa hissed, "What's in here?"
Rui chuckled. "All the robot chickens." He replied.
Trying his absolute best to not start crying from the weight of the box, even with THREE PEOPLE!!, the three high-schoolers slowly made their way to behind the curtains of the Wonder Stage, where the rest of their costumes and props lay, waiting to be used.
Immediately, Nene, Tsukasa, and Rui collectively let out a loud sigh in relief as they dropped the box to the ground with a loud THUMP. Wincing when he heard a single twinkle and saw a small star fall to the ground, Tsukasa kicked it away and knelt down to open the box. "Are we going to put all the robots somewhere, or do we leave them here until the day of the show?"
Rui handed Tsukasa a box cutter, "We'll just put them all somewhere first. Maybe in the trap room... Be careful with that,"
Tsukasa nodded as he took the cutter from Rui, carefully opening the box.
"Nene, can you open the trapdoor and get it ready?" Rui asked, looking towards her. The green haired girl nodded, saying a quick "okay" before walking out of backstage onto the stage itself.
While this was happening, Tsukasa let out a hiss as he accidentally cut his thumb. He cursed under his breath, turning to hide himself from Rui as he dropped the knife onto the box and held his now bleeding thumb.
"Ah-" Rui whipped his head towards Tsukasa, frowning with a concerned look on his face. "Tsukasa, are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"
Tsukasa stood up, nodding as he covered his eyes with one hand. "Y- yeah- hold on, I'm gonna get a bandaid,"
"Are you sure?" Rui asked, "I can do it for you, if you'd like-"
"No!" Tsukasa squeaked, "It's fine!"
He didn't even care about the fact that he had been hurt. Tsukasa was way more worried about the fact that the star tears had begun to slowly slip out from his eyes.
He couldn't let anyone see them.
So Tsukasa slipped away from the stage, grabbing a first aid kit as he stumbled over to the bushes. He sat down, hiding behind them and finally let the stars rapidly pour out of his eyes. Tsukasa choked back a sob, opening the first aid kit with shuddering breaths.
It was a fucking cut. And Tsukasa was sobbing his ass out over it like a child.
The blond sighed as he began to disinfect the cut. He winced when the liquid came in contact with the open flesh, and more tears spilled onto the grass and the set of first aid items. Nonetheless, Tsukasa wordlessly continued to clean the small injury, the only sound he was making being the twinkling of the stars he cried out and his quivering, unsteady breaths that came out of his mouth.
After he finished cleaning the injury, Tsukasa then pulled out a bandaid from the kit, doing his best to place it as well as he could on the bleeding cut with hands that were violently shaking. Not to mention the fact that the stars weren't doing anything to help him see clearer.
Soon enough, Tsukasa was done. He sat behind the bush for a bit longer, letting himself finish crying stars.
————
Unfortunately, the sight Tsukasa saw when he returned to the stage wasn't one his emotions look lightly. Right after Tsukasa had finished crying, too.
It wasn't much, really. All he did was walk back to the stage and see Nene and Rui together. The trap door was open, and Nene was holding the top of the ladder as Rui climbed up it. The two were happily chatting with one another as Rui transported the robot chickens he built down into the trap room, one at a time. They looked like they were having fun. They didn't notice Tsukasa out of the corner of their eyes.
And Tsukasa heard the twinkle once more.
His breath was caught in his throat as he watched Nene and Rui talking to each other.
Because they.. simply because they were talking. And it wasn't fair that Tsukasa had to start crying just because of that.
But they were having so much fun together. And just by doing that, Rui was smiling so brightly.
Tsukasa couldn't do that. He couldn't make Rui smile like that, he couldn't do that ever. Tsukasa was fucking stupid. He couldn't do shit.
So he ran away.
Tsukasa ran back into the bushes. But this time, he ran even further. He didn't stop, not even when the stars began spilling out of his eyes again. He needed to be alone. He needed to be far away. He didn't even care that there was a trail.
Tsukasa just needed to be alone.
The blond finally stopped running, and sat down against a tree.
"FUCK!"
He slammed his fist on the ground in anger.
The tears continued spilling. Those disgusting, crystalline stars that were created from his own tears, from Tsukasa's own sadness and pain.
A pile of stars formed under Tsukasa. With every crystal he shed from his eyes, the pile grew larger and larger the longer he cried. Tsukasa let out a choked sob, his breaths shaky and uneven as faint laughter and cheers from kids and adults alike chimed in his ears, taunting him.
"Why do you have to look so beautiful..?" Tsukasa whispered, taking a handful of the stars into his still shaking palms and holding them. His lips trembled, and he let out another quiet sob.
This was all because of Rui.
Why did it hurt so much to be in love?
It shouldn't be like this. Tsukasa shouldn't be like this. Rui would hate him if he learned that Tsukasa was so down bad for him that he even managed to attract some freaky ass bitchlessness disorder that sounded like something you would only hear of or read in a weird 9k word fanfiction posted on two different (but still both extremely popular) fanfiction websites that someone wrote because they were bored and suddenly decided that they wanted to have their favourite characters suffer in a never ending cycle of pain and misery just because that character was too much of a pathetic coward to state their feelings to the ones they loved.
And unfortunately, Tsukasa Tenma landed a role as that character.
Tsukasa's eyes stung in pain as the stars continued falling.
In the end, Tsukasa Tenma was still a freak.
And Rui Kamishiro would never, ever be in love with a freak like him.
————
More weeks passed, and the condition only got worse. The tears slowly grew more and more opaque every time they slipped from his eyes, which was happening more and more frequently from the most stupidest things. Sometimes, nothing would even happen and Tsukasa would burst into tears. Along with that, his pity parties seemed to last longer snd longer each time they happened. The Star Tears disease was consuming him, but he would not do anything about it.
Tsukasa didn't need a fucked up message from the gods that plagued him with crying stars to know that Rui wouldn't ever love him back. There was just no way that he would.
But unfortunately, it was also getting harder to hide them each time it happened. The stars itself were fairly easy to clean up now that they had more colour to them. They were easier to spot now. But he had at least 9 shoeboxes in his closet and 6 shoeboxes shoved under his bed. He couldn't keep this up for much longer before someone found out. Having to excuse himself for a bathroom break every 10 minutes wasn't exactly normal.
Tsukasa knew people were beginning to get suspicious of him. In fact, they probably started to think that at least two weeks ago. But could Tsukasa do anything about it? No. He couldn't. All Tsukasa could do was continue lying to everyone, stating that he was fine and that he was having an unnecessarily overactive bladder the past couple of weeks.
Which was actually embarrassing as fuck.
But there was nothing he could do.
He just had to keep on throwing lie after lie, telling everyone it was okay. Saying that it was all completely fine.
Either way, as long as nobody caught him, Tsukasa would be okay.
————
Saki caught him.
She was looking around in Tsukasa's room one day while he was at practice. The blonde girl had lost her favourite pen- the pretty purple gel pen that Ichika let her keep. It was sparkly and everything! But now Saki lost it, and she was 100% ready to turn the entirety of the Tenma household inside out just so she could find her pretty purple gel pen.
It was a really, really pretty purple gel pen.
Either way, Saki was searching Tsukasa's room for her pen. She looked behind the mirror, inside Tsukasa's desk, under the desk and closet and that really weird red sofa that Saki absolutely despised with all her heart and soul, but there was no sign of her pen. There wasn't anything else under the bed, either, except a couple shoeboxes Saki had to pull out so she could keep searching. But when she saw the labels on each of the shoeboxes, she couldn't help but get curious.
The labels themselves were nothing special- they were just 'Star Tears' with numbers on them (#10, #11, #12, #13, #14, and #15). But what had Saki frowning was the reasoning for the name.
The blonde girl looked over her shoulder, making sure nobody was looking before she opened the 15th shoebox. "Sorry, Big bro.."
Her eyes widened.
The box was filled with tiny yellow star-shaped crystals that seemed to be softly glowing. Saki stared at them in awe, picking one up and holding it against the the ceiling light. It was translucent, almost completely opaque. You could just barely see through it, but either way, it was extremely blurry.
"What.. are these?" Saki whispered to herself in awe, examining the crystalline star. They looked absolutely stunning. Where did Tsukasa get these?
Her mind floated back to the name of the shoebox- Star Tears. That name sounded familiar, but from where..?
Suddenly, it hit her.
Star Tears. It was a disease caused from unrequited love, just like Hanahaki. Essentially, it was pretty much some weird bitchlessness disorder, and was so rare that it was mostly known as a romance trope for fiction (though not as popular as it's gruesome flower counterpart). Saki had done a bit of digging when she first found out about it, and was extremely surprised to find out it was a real thing.
And now her brother had it. Tsukasa was suffering because he loved someone so much.
Saki was horrified. This was the fifteenth box. It was clear that this had been going on for quite a while now. Maybe at least a month? And to top it all off, the more opaque the crystal became, the closer the one who had the disease got to the end.
And the end was when you lost your vision or went colourblind, or maybe you could even lose your memories.
The stars were practically nontransparent at this point.
Tsukasa was going to lose everything if he didn't do something soon. In fact, Saki bet that her brother was already losing the colour in his vision!
Panicking, Saki shut the shoebox closed and shoved all 6 of them (SIX!! AND THERE WERE NINE MORE HIDING SOMEWHERE ELSE!!) back under Tsukasa's bed. She had to get to Tsukasa, fast.
Since Saki, unfortunately, was unable to drive, her first thought was to call Tsukasa himself. So she took out her phone and called Tsukasa, pacing not only back and forth across the room, no, Saki walked laps across the entire house. Each ring had her heart sink more, and her panic increase higher and higher.
The call went to voicemail.
"Fuck," Saki hissed. She called Tsukasa two more times, but just like the first, both calls went to voicemail.
Plan B was for Saki to call Tsukasa's troupe mates. She didn't have Nene or Rui's phone numbers, but she did have Emu's. So Saki called Emu next.
Thankfully, she answered.
"HII!!" Emu's high pitched, cheerful voice rang through the phone Saki held in her hands. "What's up, Saki-chan?!"
Saki took a deep breath, "Hey, Emu," She began, "Do you know where Tsukasa is? He hasn't been answering any of my calls and I need to talk to him."
Saki heard Emu gasp lightly, "..Tsukasa-kun.. he isn't.. with you?"
Huh?
"He isn't with YOU guys?!" Saki cried out, "I thought Big Bro was with you! He left like, what, twenty minutes ago?!"
"Nuh-uh!" Emu replied. She sounded more nervous as she continued speaking from her point of view, "Tsukasa-kun hasn't arrived here yet and everyone was calling him but he never answered! I was about to call you, Saki-chan!!"
Saki's eyes widened, her face going pale in horror. "Does this mean.. that Big Bro is missing?"
"We have to look for him!!" Emu yelled. Doing so, she had also grabbed the attention of Nene and Rui, who were standing near her. "Nene!! Rui!! Tsukasa-kun isn't at his house with Saki-chan!"
Nene's eyes widened. "He isn't?!" She exclaimed in shock. "So where is he?!"
Rui, however, stayed quiet. "I knew something was wrong.." He muttered, "He's been excusing himself from us way more lately, I'm sure you guys have noticed it two."
All three girls nodded, even if they couldn't see Saki and vice versa. "Yeah, I've been wondering why.. but he never answers us properly when we ask."
"Mhmm!" Emu nodded in agreement, "He just keeps avoiding the questions!! I wonder if this has to do anything with it.."
Saki bit her lip. "It probably does." She replied. All the pieces were slowly coming together. Whenever Tsukasa left, that was likely because he was about so start crying stars. She discovered that is was more difficult to keep ones feelings in check and control them when they had Star Tears when she was doing her research the day she found out about the disease.
But there was a question. Who did Tsukasa have a crush on? If they didn't confess now, it would be too late.
Saki closed her eyes.
Come in Saki Tenma! You have to think..! Unlock your inner Danganronpa Protagonist™️, for Tsukasa..!
Who did Tsukasa love?
First off, she could rule off any women. She knew Tsukasa liked guys- she was the first (and probably only as of now) person her brother had told that fact to. So all girls were out of the picture.
It couldn't be Toya, no way it would ever be Toya. Saki knows Tsukasa sees him as a younger brother- Saki feels the same. He's more like a little brother figure than anything.
Was it Akito? No, Akito was pining for Toya way too hard. It would be cute to think about, but Saki didn't think Tsukasa knew Akito well enough (or was close enough to him) to like him.
What other guys did Tsukasa hang out with..?
But then it hit Saki like a brick. Like a metal pole. Like when you're climbing a kiddie slide but there's a metal pole waiting for you at the top of the slide and you don't notice it so it BANGS you in the forehead when you reach the top and then you proceed to let out an inhumane screech of pain and shock, possibly one of the most demonic screeches a human could possibly screech.
Tsukasa was pining over Rui Kamishiro.
It was perfect! They hung out everyday, they were BEST FRIENDS (not for long, they better be)- Tsukasa even had HEARTS in Rui's contact! It was 'RUI💜💜'!!! It all fit! It was PERFECT!
Saki then shook her head. It was perfect, yes, but it wouldn't be if Tsukasa kept on suffering because of it.
"We have to look for Tsukasa," Saki began, "I'll look around the neighbourhood and ask my friends to help, too. You three look around the theme park!"
"Yes, Ma'am!" Emu cried out. "Call us if you find anything, we'll call you too!"
Saki nodded, "Right!! And- also, I have a bit of a hunch, so if any of you guys see tiny stars on the ground, look for a trail and follow them!"
"Huh? What does that me-" Nene's question was cut off when Saki hung up.
Emu, Rui, and Nene all looked at each other.
There was no time to waste.
"Emu, you look around here," Rui directed, "Nene, go look around the park. I'll look near the gate and parking lot."
"Got it," Nene nodded. Emu did the same, but added a determined salute. "Yes, Sir Rui!"
————
Tsukasa didn't know why he was here.
He should've just gone inside the park- but the stupid fucking star tears stopped him.
So instead, Tsukasa walked away into the forest to hide.
And now he was sitting down, a weird feeling in his head.
Everything felt.. strangely fuzzy..
Tsukasa mumbled incoherently, his vision growing blurry.
Where was he again? What was this place? What was he doing..?
He was supposed to be meeting with someone.. no, some people- multiple people. But.. who?
Hazy images of people Tsukasa didn't seem to recognize popped into his head. It was looking through a foggy mirror. He couldn't make out anything.
who were those people? What were those names?
Was Tsukasa.. forgetting everything already?
"Ahh.." Tsukasa let out a sad chuckle as he leaned his head against the tree he sat against.
He could barely see. He was losing his vision.
The soft jingle of the star tears falling down his eyes sounded very calm. Along with the sound of trees rustling in the wind and Tsukasa's own breathing, it drowned out the sound of people yelling and screaming from.. somewhere.
Tsukasa sighed, closing his eyes.
It was calmer with his eyes closed.
He couldn't see anything, he couldn't remember anything..
Maybe this really was the best way to go.
Why was Tsukasa crying stars again? Who did he love?
All Tsukasa could remember was that smile. That beautiful, cat-like smile and that vibrant purple hair with the cyan streaks in his bangs.. he wished he knew the boys name.
Maybe he'd sleep for a while. Then he'd wake up and everything would be gone, and he wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore.
————
"Tsukasa? Tsukasa!" Rui called out the boys name over and over again as he looked through the gates. He didn't see any sign that familiar peach-coloured hair that faded from a light blond to a deep, sunset red.
Sunset. That was another nice way to describe Tsukasa's hair. His hair was like a sunset.
Rui sighed, shaking his head. That wasn't what he needed to think about right now. He had to focus on finding Tsukasa.
The tall, purple-haired boy moved on to the parking lot. He weaved in and out between the cars, looking for Tsukasa's. "Tsukasa! Are you there..?!"
Then, Rui's eye caught a specific license plate.
That was Tsukasa's.
Rui walked closer to the car. Sure enough, it was Tsukasa's car.
Tsukasa was here. At Pheonix Wonderland.
crunch
"Eh-?"
Rui looked down, his eyes widening on the item he had stepped on. The boy knelt down.
It was a small, crystalline star. It glowed softly in the sunset, and Rui swore it became brighter when he picked up a shard of it's remains.
Where did this come from?
Rui stood up, looking around. To his surprise, another small star wasn't far from the first. And then there was another, and another.
There was a trail of small star-shaped crystals. And it began from Tsukasa's car.
Rui recalled what Saki had told the rest of WxS.
"If you guys see any tiny stars on the ground, look for a trail and follow them!"
Rui narrowed his eyes. Saki was right.
Taking a step forward, Rui followed the trail of stars with a newfound determination flowing through his veins. He didn't know what these stars were, or where they came from, but he had to ow them. Surely, it would lead to Tsukasa.
The further the trail went, the more stars Rui found. It started off as a single star, then another around a meter or two away, but now there was a full on line of stars spilt onto the ground. The trail went through the parking lot, and into the forest nearby. The trees obscured the sun from view, causing the stars to glow even brighter without a larger light shining over it.
Finally, the trail led Rui to a tree.
Tsukasa was laying against it, his eyes closed as he seemed to be sleeping. But the strangest part was that.. he was crying.
But he wasn't crying normal tears. The same star-shaped crystals that had formed the trail were falling from his eyes, as if they were a substitute for actual tears. A faint shimmering noise emitted from the stars as they dropped from Tsukasa's closed eyes onto the ground.
Was this why Tsukasa kept on running away? Was it because he was crying these.. solidified star tears instead of liquid tears?
"Tsukasa..?" Rui whispered. He knelt down beside the boy, shaking him gently. "Tsukasa-kun, are you alright..?"
The blond boy stirred. His eyes slowly fluttered open, and he blinked a few times as he looked around, seemingly confused. "Huh..?"
Rui couldn't help but gasp in horror at the sight. Tsukasa's eyes weren't the vibrant, bright amber they usually were. Instead, they were a dull, desaturated orange- almost grey, even. There was no light in his eyes whatsoever- they were empty and dark, like a void.
"Oh.. sorry, I can't tell where you are," Tsukasa whispered, a small smile on his face. How was he still able to smile even if he couldn't see-
He couldn't see.
It hit Rui like a truck.
Tsukasa was blind.
Warm, salty tears rolled down Rui's cheeks. "Ts- Tsukasa.." He whispered, placing his hands on Tsukasa's cheeks. Desperately, he tried to wipe away the glowing yellow gems that continued falling out of his eyes, even when he was blind. "It's me.. Rui,"
"Rui..?" Tsukasa repeated, "Is that.. your name?"
Huh?
"What- what do you mean-" Rui stammered, shaking his head, "Tsukasa- do you not.. remember me?"
Tsukasa shook his head no. "Sorry. I think I recognize your voice.. but I can't- remember. Everything's so fuzzy up here.. it feels so weird."
Tsukasa lazily reached his hand out, grabbing around the air a bit before finding Rui's face.
"Why are you crying?" Tsukasa whispered. He took Rui's face with his other hand, cupping his cheeks just like Rui was doing, and wiped away the tears. "Don't cry.. a smile like yours is so pretty. I don't like it when you frown."
"B- but-" Rui stammered, "But Tsukasa, you can't even-"
Tsukasa hummed in response, cutting Rui off. "Your voice.. it's you, isn't it?" He mumbled, "Despite everything, I can still faintly remember the purple hair. And your voice.. and your smile. I loved your smile. I'm so sorry I can't see it anymore.."
Rui shook his head frantically, rubbing at Tsukasa's eyes. "No, Tsukasa- please.. please, this can't be happening- why won't these stars stop coming-"
"Stars..?" Tsukasa muttered. "Right.. that's why I'm here, isn't it? I.. I loved you. I loved you so much and this happened. I didn't.. I didn't want to worry you.. I thought- I thought you didn't like me back."
Rui's eyes widened as he gasped.
This was happening- because Tsukasa loved him?
"Tsukasa.. why?" Rui whispered, choking out a sob, "Wh- Why didn't you.. why didn't you tell me?"
"You wouldn't like me back.." Tsukasa mumbled absentmindedly, his eyes staring off into the distance. He wondered what the blond was seeing right now. "I don't know why. I can't remember. But you wouldn't. Why would you..?"
"Tsukasa." Rui breathed out, his lips violently quivering.
"Tsukasa, you're such an- an idiot.."
"What..?"
Rui wrapped his arms around Tsukasa, hugging him tightly.
"Tsukasa Tenma, I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than you could ever know." Rui stated, "Your hair is so pretty, and your bright amber eyes mean everything to me- they're like the sun, and your personality is so bright and confident and I envy everything about it. When I was in a dark place, you saved me, and I might not have even been alive if it weren't for you, Tsukasa. I love every single thing about you, no matter your flaws or what you think of yourself. Even if everyone in the entire world hates you, I promise that I will still love you. Because you mean everything to me. And I love you. Tsukasa, I love you so, so, so, SO much.."
Rui trailed off, breaking into loud sobs, "But now- now you can't even see me or remember anything.. Tsukasa, I'm so sorry this happened to you I'm so sorry you felt that you could never tell me how you felt, I'm so sorry about everything that happened to you, I wish that you didn't have to suffer in silence just because you harboured feelings for me.."
Tsukasa gasped.
"Ah.. you're-.. not lying..?"
Rui shook his head, "Of course not."
Tsukasa felt around for Rui's face. He grabbed him again, but this time, Tsukasa's fingers felt for Rui's lips.
And he slammed his lips against Rui's.
They kissed. Rui and Tsukasa were kissing.
Tsukasa pulled away as soon as Rui let that sink in.
"I'm sorry. I'm- I'm sorry, Rui-" Tsukasa sobbed, his breath hitching as he wrapped his arms around Rui. "I'm sorry! This wouldn't have happened if I just told you- but I didn't and now- now I can't even cry properly-" Warm drops of liquid rolled down the blonds cheeks as he continued to sob into Rui's chest.
Rui paused. "..Tsukasa?" He muttered, pulling Tsukasa's face away. "You're crying."
"I KNOW," Tsukasa hissed, wiping at his eyes aggressively, "I know I'm crying you don't have to rub that in-"
The blond stopped.
His hands were wet. His cheeks were wet. Rui's shirt was stained with tears that didn't belong to him
Tsukasa's eyes flew wide open.
They were glossy, and his irises were a bright orange.
"Rui?"
The tall boy gasped for what, the fourth time? And cried out, "TSUKASA!!"
"Ah- RUI!!" Tsukasa exclaimed, once again embracing Rui. "I- I remember, Rui, I remember- I remember everything I can see again and I'm crying, I'm crying normally like a normal person and- and you really love me- you really love me, Rui!" The blond laughed loudly despite the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.
Rui nodded, chuckling as he himself was also crying. "You're back.." He whispered, "I'm so glad.. I'm so, so glad.."
Tsukasa smiled. "I'm glad too." He whispered, letting himself melt into Rui's warm embrace. "I'm back.."
————
Practice was rightfully cancelled after Rui had found Tsukasa. The two decided to go back to the blonds place together, where Saki immediately crushed Tsukasa in a bone-crushing hug.
"TSUKASA!!!!" She screeched, "DO YOU KNOW JUST HOW WORRIED I WAS?!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THE STARRSSSSS???!! I THOUGHT YOU LOST EVERYTHING- I THOUGHT- I THOUGHT YOU DIIIEEDDDDD...!!!!!!"
As Tsukasa proceeded to console a sobbing Saki, he couldn't help but smile in relief.
Everything was okay now.
Tsukasa Tenma was okay. And he loved Rui Kamishiro.
Maybe.. being a freak was okay.
————