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Albedo does not view himself as a living being with a conscious mind.
It sounds silly, how can a non-sentient being decide it’s non-sentient? Albedo doesn’t know how, he just feels that way. The way he is treated by his master is not the same as the mothers treating their sons in the novels he sneakily reads. He is not held, he is not given support, he is taught alchemy instead of social skills and self care, he does not feel loved. He tends to find himself daydreaming about a women who treats him like the children in the stories. A kind woman that hugs him when he comes home from playing over at a friend’s house and lets him sleep in her arms if he has nightmares. A woman who does not create him for not understanding something right away or hitting him over something stupid like knocking a glass of water over.
Albedo dreams of the day he is cherished.
——-
“A close friend of mine is coming over, don’t make a damn fool of yourself while she’s in your presence.”
This friend master talks about, she seems to be valued deeply by his creator. Perhaps she’ll show him how to get master to love him.
Albedo let out a small sound of understanding, nodding his head before quickly leaving his master. He slides off to what he calls his room to continue secretly reading a romance novel. It’s about a prince of moonlight having a secret romance with a peasant made from dirt that his parents obviously don’t approve of leading the two to run away to a land of freedom and get married, ridding themselves of their old lives and creating new ones that they are proud of. He has silly daydreams of living out a life such as the peasant, he actually resonates a lot with this character and their internal struggles.
——-
“Oh my! Is this the little guy you claim ti have made from chalk? He’s quite a cutie.”
”hm, oh yeah just ignore him.”
”How could I possibly ignore a little guy so cute!”
Masters friend leaned in and embraced Albedo in her arms. An interaction he’s never experienced before. He was confused, he didn’t know how to feel. He’s read about it, seen it in illustrations even. He tried to reciprocate the gesture, weakly wrapping his arms around her body although it looked very forced. It felt strange touching someone, her body was warm and a bit squishy. A strange sensation he didn’t know if he liked.
“Aww, has the poor baby never been given a hug before?”
She scooped him up into her arms and ruffled his hair. It was long and matted, greasy and unkempt. She obviously noticed, Albedo was almost completely unaware of the state of his hair. He’s only seen his reflection a few times, never given the chance to really take in his appearance.
“Alright where is the bathroom in this little hobbit hole”
The woman carried him there after master pointed in the vague direction, busied with another project. Albedo has never been held before. It was… comforting. He’s read about it, but never experienced it. This woman is strange.
”Oh call me Aunt Alice, dear. You’re Albedo right?”
Albedo hummed out a response resembling a yes. Nodding gently.
”How cute, Rhine is such an alchemy nerd.”
She sat him down on the toilet in the bathroom and opened a few drawers before finding a comb and a pair of scissors.
”I am going to give you a makeover and make you so handsome.”
There was a crazed excitement in her voice. It reeked of passion, an assign he only heard coming from master while she talked about a project she was obsessed with.
Before Albedo could truly process what she just said, she was already cutting. Small snip snip’s being the only sound he could hear. Alice had a warm smile in her face, it comforted him. It made him feel reassured that she knew what she was doing. Albedo had seen his master do this before, trimming the ends of her hair when it got too long, occasionally changing the style. He was always cautious while watching her, scared she would lash out. He looked down, clumps of pale hair littered the floor. A lot. Alice grabbed the comb she left on the counter and began brushing it through his hair. It hurt, she cooed small apologies as it pulled at the tangled locks. She took it slow and sometimes used a bit of water to try detangle it. It felt like forever until the comb ran smoothly through his hair. Sge ruffled her fingers through it before placing the comb down and picking up the scissors once more. Now she was carefully cutting away at what’s left of his hair. She cut some bangs in front before turning his head a little and moving onto the sides, snipping close to his head. She finished up the back and grabbed the comb again. Smoothing out the hair into the style she chose. She ruffled his hair and spoke.
”Your hair is soft as a dandelion, you know.”
Her smile was bright, her words held honesty. She stood him up and dusted off the hair, grabbing his hand and showing him to the mirror.
The reflection that stated back sported a pixie cut with bangs resembling master’s although his hair was much fluffier. This reflection looked like… himself. The short hair looked like it belonged to him. It didn’t look like he had no choice(even if he really didn’t ask for this haircut either) in having his hair. It reminded him if freedom; the freedom the peasant of dirt and prince of moonlight had when they ran away. The freedom to be who he wanted instead of how others wanted.
Alice patted his shoulders before bending down and picking up a broom and dustpan. She quickly swept up the mess while Albedo thought to himself. He loved this newfound freedom of self expression through appearance. He ran his fingers through his bangs. They naturally swept to his left side.
Side swept bangs.
Albedo has taken old fashion magazines from trash and behind houses before, he’s seen all types of hairstyles in them. He’s seen ones similar to his.
“Alright, let’s go show Rhine your new look!”
Alice spooked him a little, shaking him out of his thoughts. He saw her smile in the mirror, it was a soft one. He’s never seen this kind of smile on master before, this smile did fill him with fear. This smile made him feel… safe.
Safe, Aunt Alice makes me feel safe.
——-
“Isn’t he so much cuter now? Just look at him!”
Alice was showing off Albedo’s new hair to his master, she seemed relatively uninterested which really hurt Albedo. This was something he really thought she would at least be able to spare a few seconds to look at him. He tried not to let it show.
“Aww, poor baby. You’re breaking his heart Rhine!”
She looked at him, she sported eye bags and a tired look. He knew not to bother her when she looked like this. Aunt Alice clearly didn’t. He mentally prepared to get scolded or get a beating. Instead, she spoke.
“It looks nice.”
Thats the first time she has ever praised Albedo for anything other than alchemy. It was heartwarming and Albedo was sure it would make his whole week, probably longer. Even if the words were monotone and empty they held such beauty. Albedo allowed his smile to shine through.
——-
Alice was waving goodbye. She gave master a hug and said something about seeing her again soon. She then hurried over to Albedo and pinched his cheeks.
“I’ll definitely have to see you again soon ‘Bedo.”
She gave him a little kiss on his cheek and rushed out the door, having her final goodbye. Albedo reached his hand up weakly and waved at her, not entirely sure if he was properly reciprocating the gesture. As she left he stood staring at the door exited for when he’d see her again. He took a moment before walking back to what he calls his “room” and grabbing a book to continue reading. He had to reread plenty of pages due to lack of focus. His heart was rapidly beating.
Aunt Alice is the mother in the books!
He smiled.
Albedo feels cherished
Albedo views himself as a living being with a conscious mind.