Work Text:
Jisung is on his fourth year of self-induced semi-isolation when there's a knock on his door.
He jumps, whipping his head toward the door. Then he looks to his phone; it's too early for Chan or his brother to be here for a visit, and it's not Sunday, so no groceries, either. Jisung frowns. What then?
Chan, Changbin, his brother... no. Hyunjin or Felix, maybe? But they should know better than to show up announced.
Wrapping a blanket around himself like a cloak, Jisung gets up from the couch and tiptoes to the hall, trying to decide whether he should open the door or not. Maybe it's someone doing reparations, or something. He should at least check. Jisung doesn't care enough to drop the blanket-cloak, so he opens the door wrapped in the soft blanket, a protective layer from whoever's out there.
When the door opens, Jisung freezes. This is not a face he recognizes. A panicked glance behind the stranger reveals some cardboard boxes (a new neighbor, then?).
"Hello", the stranger says and gives a small bow. His face looks as though it was sculpted by the gods themselves, and Jisung has to remind himself not to stare. "I'm your new neighbor, Lee Minho. My friends told me they knew you."
"Ah." Jisung struggles to get out a coherent sentence, still clinging to the doorframe for protection. "Uh, yeah. Lix and Hyuni?"
He vaguely remembers them telling him about a senior of theirs who was moving out somewhere. They never said the senior was going to end up as Jisung's neighbor, but maybe they didn't know that part. Or maybe they just find the thought of Jisung freaking out entertaining. Could be either one, really.
Minho nods.
"So, uh... What's your name?" he asks, and Jisung wants to slam his head into a wall. That's, like, the first thing you're supposed to say when you meet someone new.
"Han Jisung." His voice is quiet, but he must get lucky, because Minho doesn't ask him to repeat himself.
"How old are you? I'm 24."
"22."
"Would you like to see my cats?"
Jisung's head snaps up. His grip on the blanket eases.
"You have cats?"
Minho nods, the hint of a smile showing on his face, and wow, he somehow just became a hundred times more attractive. Plus he likes cats? How much better could one person get?
"Yup. Three of them."
Jisung hesitates, casting a longing glance back toward the couch. He would love to see some cats, but he really shouldn't. Especially not with a stranger, outside the safety of his own home.
Not that it would be very far, being neighbors and all, but still. It would be an unfamiliar place, with an unfamiliar person. Today has been a relatively good day, health-wise, but Jisung knows just how quickly that can change, and it seems unnecessary to risk it.
He is sad about having to reject Minho, but eventually manages to give a small shake of his head.
"'m sorry, I'm kinda busy", he says, trying not to sound too bad about it.
Minho doesn't mention the blanket around his shoulders, or ask what, exactly, he's so busy with. He merely smiles.
"Another time, then!"
"Another time", Jisung agrees before waving goodbye and closing the door.
He returns to collapse on the couch again with a heavy sigh, not for the first time wishing that his life was different.
-
There is no cure for pararibulitis, but there is medication to deal with the symptoms. Jisung has two bottles; one that he's supposed to take daily, and then a different pill to take whenever he has an attack.
He still had enough left when his brother Younghyun was here to check earlier this week, but that was on Monday. Today is Sunday, and Jisung has just had (possibly) the worst week of his life: One attack every single day. Literally. No break, not a single day of peace.
On Monday he had two attacks in a row, which fucked with his head a little, and then the morning after he forgot to take his meds because of how groggy he still felt from the day before, which fucked shit up even more, and then it just kept going in a downward spiral.
Now, it's Sunday morning, and Jisung is more than ready to be done with this week.
He's sitting on the couch, watching some random show on his laptop when it all starts. At first, he doesn't notice. His apartment is always kept as clean as possible, to make sure that everything is as comfortable as can be. With the week he's had, however, maintaining that has been impossible, and his blanket isn't as soft as it usually is after he spilled soda on it yesterday.
Now, it's scratchy against his bare legs, and Jisung itches at them without really thinking about it, frowning at the screen of his computer. When that doesn't manage to hold his attention any longer, Jisung glances down at his lap, and his breath hitches in his throat.
Blood. Everywhere, all over the blanket, dark and wet and oozing of a metallic smell that invades Jisung's nostrils so harshly that he gags, and there's red under his nails and on his hands and all over his skin...
He stumbles off the couch, his bleeding legs protesting at the movement, the stinging sensation increasing as he moves. The blanket is wet and sticks to his skin, but he kicks it off in a panic, leaving trails of blood running down his legs and dripping onto the wooden floor.
He needs his pills. They're always on the counter for situations like this, easy to reach and more often than not with an unscrewed lid. Jisung keeps his hands outheld as he stumbles over there, not wanting to leave bloody handprints around the apartment, but he has to force his shaking hands into motion once he reaches the bright orange bottle.
The lid falls onto the floor and Jisung hurriedly tries to shake a pill onto his open palm.
Nothing happens. Not even the familiar rustle of pills being shaken within the plastic container, and Jisung's blood goes cold.
He took the last pill yesterday.
"Fucking shit!"
Jisung drops the bottle onto the floor before following it down, sinking onto his knees while staring at his stained hands, the air becoming heavy in his lungs. Everything looks hazy. The floor is cold beneath his knees, but he's sweating, and the blood is warm where it rushes over his legs.
He can't feel his hands anymore, and that's the last thing he is aware of before succumbing to the haziness that surrounds him.
-
"Don't you fucking dare censor me!"
"No swear words!"
"I don't care! Just let me swear, and then put something else in the official lyrics so that no one can accuse us of actually swearing!"
Jisung, in his wild gesturing, knocks a notebook to the floor, but doesn't bother picking it up. Him, Chan and Changbin are currently cramped around the coffee table in his living room, and it is already overflowing as it is. He doubts the notebook will be missed.
Chan sighs, giving up on arguing with him.
"Alright! Say 'bitch' if you really want to. I'll just censor the lyrics, then."
Jisung holds his hand out to Changbin for a high five, all the while grinning victoriously at Chan as he turns back to his laptop to delete the censoring he had put over Jisung's swearing.
It's a bit difficult for the three of them to find time to work on music, with Changbin being a full-time student, while Chan simultaneously works part-time at some business, while also doing an unpaid internship at another place.
And Jisung, for obvious reasons, can't go too far from his own home. Even if nothing is physically keeping him here, he much prefers to have his attacks in a familiar environment. Besides, new sensory experiences tend to trigger him, so he probably wouldn't get very far even if he tried.
"Hyunjin told me you have a new neighbor", Changbin comments, turning to Jisung while they wait for Chan to finish editing.
Jisung hugs his knees to his chest, raising an eyebrow at Changbin.
"Yeah? So?"
"Apparently, they talked about you."
Jisung rolls his eyes. Whenever people talk about him behind his back, it's usually just variations on the same thing: Why doesn't he go outside? Does he ever leave his apartment? What's wrong with him?
"Not whatever you're thinking", Changbin continues, noticing the expression on Jisung's face. Then he grins. "Apparently, he thinks you're cute, but Hyunjin wasn't supposed to tell anyone about that, so you definitely did not hear it from me."
Jisung blinks once, twice. Then a third time just to really process what he's hearing.
"The hot guy called me cute?"
"OH!"
Jisung reels, nearly falling backwards at the loudness of Changbin's voice, grimacing and lifting a hand to cover his ears while glaring at the older boy. Changbin himself barely seems to notice how terrible he is at controlling his volume.
"You think he's hot?! And he thinks you're cute? OhmyGOD, this is a drama just WAITING to happen!"
"Binnie", Jisung whines, rubbing his forehead. "You just broke my eardrums."
Changbin grins sheepishly, patting the table between them – a replacement for patting Jisung's knees or shoulders, something he knows from experience isn't always well-received.
"Sorry, Sungie, I just got excited."
"For what?" Jisung pouts, the action a bit exaggerated, trying to play off his real disappointment as dramatics. "It's not like he could date me, anyway."
Now it's Changbin's turn to glare.
"Don't be self-depracating! He thinks you're cute, and if he got to know you, he would love your personality too! You're not a chronic illness, you're a person. Anyone who can't see that is an idiot."
"I'm not being self-depracating, I'm being realistic."
Changbin opens his mouth to retort, but before he can, Chan claps his hands together.
"There, I think I finally got the EQ set to some good levels!"
Jisung jumps at the distraction, eager to avoid Changbin's oncoming lecture, because he's sure that's where this conversation would be going if he let it continue.
"What do you mean, EQ? Weren't you just removing the censored parts?"
Chan shrugs, looking sheepish.
"I got distracted."
Changbin sends Jisung a last glance, but then he turns to Chan, which Jisung decides to count as a win. One Binnie lecture has successfully been avoided!
"Why are you even bothering with mixing? We're not even done recording yet!" he chastises, to which Chan replies something or the other, Jisung has zoned out.
They keep working until well past midnight, at which point Chan and Changbin are both too tired to go home, so they decide to crash on his couch. Jisung already knows they will be speeding out of here tomorrow morning because of oversleeping, but he doesn't bother warning them: They should have learned by now. Honestly.
-
The next day, after Chan and Changbin have (as expected) left his apartment in a rush, Jisung hosts his weekly get-together with Seungmin and Jeongin. Over video call, of course. It's not like he could go outside to see them.
They had met at the beginning of covid, when Jisung decided to do an online course in creative writing; the one good thing the pandemic seemed to bring was more accessibility for people who can't attend normal classes in person. Jisung hopes this is a change that will last longer than people's memory of the pandemic.
The three of them had become friends through shitty poems and nonsensical short stories, and even now, their friendship is still going strong.
"I saw your latest tiktok", Jeongin tells Jisung, his voice slightly distorted since he keeps dropping his laptop and breaking the microphone. Neither of the other two bother informing him that his video is also frozen. "And I just have one thing to say: What the fuck is wrong with your shower?"
"Huh?" Jisung frowns, trying to remember what his last tiktok was about.
Jisung may not be able to go many places, but social media is a great place for self-expression and sharing his life. He has a small following on tiktok, where he mostly posts content about disability and chronic illness, ranging from "day in the life"-videos to more serious rants, to random challenges or experimenting with funny filters.
"Oh! The one where I showed the accommodations in my apartment?"
The pixels on screen nod–they're so huge and so terrible in quality that Jisung cannot in good conscience acknowledge that they're supposed to portray Jeongin's face, because the similarity is minimal.
"Yeah! Your shower looks like a fucking transformer, dude!"
Seungmin looks confused by whatever they're talking about–he doesn't have tiktok himself–and Jisung laughs.
"It's a temperature restriction latch", he laughs. "And since my apartment was designed by a fucking caveman, that's the only place they could put it."
"Sick!" Jeongin says, also laughing now. "I also want a caveman to design my future apartment!"
Seungmin says something, but Jisung's attention is stolen by another sound: Someone is knocking on his door.
He mutes himself in the video call before hesitantly getting up from his chair to walk out of the bedroom and head for the front door, trying to remember if he's expecting someone. It's Wednesday, so... Oh! Groceries, that's right.
Jisung doesn't hesitate to open the door, fully expecting to find his brother with a grocery bag on the other side, but he blanks at the sight that greets him.
"Hey", says Minho. "This was standing outside your door, and I didn't wanna just leave it in case someone steals it."
He holds out a grocery bag to Jisung, and the younger blinks at him before reaching out to take it, careful not to touch an inch of Minho's skin as he does.
"Thank you", he says, more on reflex than anything. Then he looks over at Minho, noting the gym bag slung over the other's shoulder, and the flushed cheeks. Coming back from the gym, probably. "My brother usually knocks when he drops it off, but I guess he was in a hurry today."
Minho shrugs.
"It was no trouble, anyway." Then he pauses for a moment, not long, but Jisung's mind is quick to overanalyze and wonder if he's uncomfortable standing here. "Are you busy right now?"
Jisung feels terrible, for several reasons: Does this count as leading someone on? Minho thinks he's cute, but Jisung can't date, so maybe he should just say no to avoid giving hope where there is none.
Also, he actually is busy right now. Seungmin and Jeongin are waiting for him in the other room, ready to start up a game of scribble. For some reason, he feels terrible having to tell Minho the truth. This is the second time he's rejecting his new neighbor. That's not exactly a good first impression to make.
"I'm sorry", he starts, "I'm on a video call with some friends right now."
"Oh." Minho looks disappointed. Then he seems to catch himself and perks up again, sending Jisung a quick smile. "No worries. Another time, then. Bye!"
He turns to leave, but Jisung stays in the open door, biting his lips as he watches Minho continue toward the next apartment.
Before he can second-guess himself too much, he opens his mouth and asks, perhaps a bit too loudly,
"Can I have your number?"
Minho looks back, staring at Jisung with his eyes slightly widened, as though this has caught him by surprise.
Jisung is just about to retract his words and apologize for being too forward, when Minho breaks into another smile and nods.
"Yeah, sure." He takes a few quick steps back to Jisung's door. "Actually, you can give me yours; I have my phone right here."
Jisung is proud to say that he does not stutter as he recites his number, but the soft smile Minho sends him when he's done saving the contact definitely makes his heart stutter. Maybe his heart is getting sick, too. A sick brain just wasn't enough. The more organs that stop functioning properly, the merrier!
Later, when he and Seungmin and Jeongin are finishing up their game of scribble, he comes in last place, his mind having been too distracted to focus much on drawing or guessing random words. At least his friends don't call him out on it, even though the pixels that are supposed to portray Jeongin send him a knowing look.
-
The third time Minho invites him over, Jisung finally accepts.
He has just ventured outside to throw away a bag of trash that he can't handle keeping inside his apartment any longer, when the elevator door dings open and Minho steps out. He pauses when he sees Jisung, lifting a hand and smiles in greeting.
"Still no time to meet any cats?" he asks, sounding like he's joking, but Jisung is already worried about offending him with his continued rejections, so he hurries to shake his head.
"No, not today, if you're serious! I'm not doing anything right now!"
Minho's lips part in surprise, but he shakes himself out of it pretty quickly.
"So you can come over? Meet Soonie, Doongie and Dori, finally?"
"Yeah! But only for a short bit", Jisung warns, for his own sake as much as Minho's. He's still hesitant to leave his own home, and even though it's only one door away, it will be an unfamiliar space with lots of new sensations to take in. Then he notes Minho's outfit. "Oh, but if you wanna get changed or shower or something, I could come by later?"
Minho is carrying a gym bag once more, and Jisung briefly wonders how often this guy works out. He always seems to be coming home from a workout.
"No, no, it's fine. I showered at the studio before I left."
"The studio?" Jisung echoes, knitting his eyebrows. He glances at the gym bag again, imagining a recording studio in his mind, but that can't be it. They don't have showers and you don't work out there.
"The dance studio", Minho clarifies, and Jisung widens his eyes. As curious as he is, he's not given a chance to ask about it, because Minho beckons for him to follow as he walks over to his apartment door.
Jisung trails behind him. When Minho gets his keys out, Jisung notes that he has a small keyring in the shape of a cat, and it's very cute. Very Minho, though Jisung isn't sure if he can say that, considering he barely knows the guy.
Minho steps aside to let him enter first, and Jisung tries to mentally prepare himself as much as he can for any sensory inputs: Smells, sights, sounds... He just hopes Minho's apartment will be a calm space, and that it won't trigger his pararibulitis.
"Woah! You actually have a doormat!" Jisung exclaims.
Maybe that's not the best comment to start with, Jisung realizes a second later, but Minho laughs and steps in after him, closing the door behind them. At least he's not offended.
"Don't you have one?" Minho asks, raising his eyebrows at Jisung.
"Well, yeah, but not voluntarily. My sister-in-law gave it to me as a moving in gift because she knew I was never gonna buy a doormat myself."
Minho might say something in response, but Jisung does not notice. He has just passed the threshold where the hallway opens up into a living room, and he has found the highlight of Minho's apartment: A cat sits in the middle of the floor, and it stares up at Jisung when he enters.
"Ohmygosh, it's adorable!" Jisung coos, crouching down and waiting with sparkling eyes to see if the cat will approach or not. He doesn't want to scare it.
"Ah. That's Soonie. He's my oldest boy."
Minho steps forward and crouches right next to Jisung, holding out a hand toward Soonie and clicking his tongue.
"Soonie, come here, baby."
The little orange baby meows, then gets up and walks leisurely to Minho outstretched hand. He walks right past it to rub against Minho's feet instead, but when Minho tries to pet him, he steps away and walks over to Jisung's leg instead.
Jisung is about to explode from happiness.
"Hi, Soonie!" he whispers while the cat smells his hand, then rubs up against his legs. "Ohmygod, you're adorable. I love you." He looks up at Minho again. "Can I steal him?"
Minho huffs.
"As if you could. Soonie doesn't let anyone pick him up unless he wants to."
"Maybe he wants to be stolen", Jisung suggests, but turns back to pet the cat, not actually planning to rip Soonie away from his loving family.
Soonie starts trying to climb his legs, and Jisung sits down with a laugh, open his lap for the cat to jump onto. Soonie immediately moves to get settled on his thighs. Jisung glances at Minho and finds the other boy already watching them, a fond expression on his face.
"You said you have two more?"
Minho looks back at him, then nods.
"Yeah. They like to hide, though. Especially Dori. He's my youngest."
With those words, Minho gets up from the floor and goes about searching for his other cats, leaving Jisung to shower Soonie with all the affection he can.
Minho is the first stranger he has interacted with face-to-face in years, and it should be uncomfortable. He should feel weird, or at least anxious, but he's not. Just the tiniest bit. Maybe it helps knowing that his own apartment is just a door away, or maybe it's the fact that Minho's apartment is clean, has no strong smell, and is quiet.
While he is thinking about this, Minho returns with a cat in his arms. This one has brown fur and looks a bit smaller than Soonie.
"Say hello to Dori!" Minho introduces, setting the cat down on the floor in front of Jisung and Soonie. "He's usually the calmest one, but he doesn't vibe much with strangers."
Dori stops right where Minho had set him down, eyeing Jisung – and Soonie on his lap – before meowing and turning around, traipsing into the living room to hide under the coffee table. Minho watches him go with a sigh, then bends down to sit opposite Jisung on the floor.
"Can't say I was expecting any better, to be honest." He turns to look at Jisung. "Soonie probably scared him off."
Jisung is pretty sure that Minho is joking, because the furball on his lap is the most unassuming little creature ever. Definitely not capable of scaring someone off.
Looking at Minho reminds him of his earlier question, though.
"Are you a dancer?"
Minho looks down at himself, noting the workout clothes he's still wearing. He hums.
"Oh, yeah. I did dance in university, now I just dance with my troupe once a week. The rest of the time I'm an assistant instructor in beginner classes."
"Woah." Jisung is officially impressed. "Is that what you wanna do in the future?"
Minho tilts his head, reaching forward to scratch Soonie behind the ears without even looking at him.
"Probably, yeah. I thought about studying to be a vet, but it was too much studying for me, and I'm pretty sure I need dance to live."
Jisung nods along.
"That's how I feel about music." His hand brushes against Minho's as they both pet Soonie, and Jisung has to stop himself from pulling away at the skin contact. The less of a reaction he has, the less likely his mind is to misinterpret the contact as pain.
"Is music what you wanna do in the future?" Minho asks, and Jisung tilts his head in thought.
The future is a big, scary concept, and he has no plan on how to get there. He doesn't really know what to say.
For one, it's uncertain. Even if he wanted to do music, how would that work? It's not like he could get all the way to a recording studio every single day, and stay there for many hours, because his pararibulitis could act up at any moment. Even reduced working hours would be difficult to deal with.
Freelance is an option, of course, but much more difficult to get paid for. Especially if he wants to have a regular income. Jisung's presence on social media make up his earnings right now, but his brother and dad also look after him financially, plus he has the disability pension, which doesn't cover much but at least helps pay for basic expenses.
Jisung has not idea how to put this all into words for Minho.
"I..." He hesitates. "Maybe. It would be nice, but I don't need it to be a career or anything. It's... I don't know. It's difficult."
Minho looks at him with a curious expression.
"Yeah, I get that." He pauses. "So, what do you right now? Are you a student?"
Jisung shakes his head and looks down at Soonie while he talks.
"No. I'm unemployed, so I just live on social media and a disability pension." He grins up at Minho, whose face has switched to an expression of confusion. That's the usual reaction when people hear he's disabled or chronically ill, so that's no surprise. "Yup. But it's an invisible disability, so you're not gonna figure it out just by staring at me."
Minho shakes his head, cheeks flushing a bit.
"No, I was just thinking. Sorry."
Jisung scratches behind Soonie's ear, and the cat purrs. He coos at him.
"It's pararibulitis, by the way", he tells Minho. "My disability. I can't work because of it. That's why I get the pension."
Minho nods slowly, and Jisung waits for him to process this. It's been a while since he last told someone. These days, most of his interactions with people are online, and they start out as strangers, so he has no emotional investment in their response.
If they want to call him insane or accuse him of making it all up, he can just end the conversation and block them. That doesn't work in real life.
"Is... Pararibulitis, is that the one that's kind of similar to schizophrenia?" Minho wonders.
Jisung takes the question as a sign that Minho isn't an ableist piece of shit.
"It's related, I think? But yeah, both include hallucinations. Pararibulitis always include the tactile sense, though, and that your brain registers pain from your visual hallucinations even though they're not really happening."
Minho hums and pets Soonie some more.
"Sounds fun", he comments sarcastically.
"Yeah. It's a blast. I never know which limb I'm gonna lose today, or how many life-threatening injuries I'll find on myself." He glances down at his lap. "Did you find your third cat, by the way?"
Minho retracts his hand and jumps to his feet, eyes wide in realization.
"I forgot. Be right back. Hopefully I won't come alone!"
With that, he disappears into another room again. The apartment layout is the same as Jisung's own, so he knows this to be the bedroom. Not that it would be hard to figure out, anyway. These are all one bedroom apartments.
Soonie may or may not have fallen asleep on Jisung's lap by the time Minho returns, and true to his words, he is not alone. There is another orange cat in his arms now, one that looks a lot like Soonie.
"Here's the final boyo! My middle child, Doongie", Minho introduces before crouching down to sit on the floor, keeping Doongie on his lap. Perhaps to make sure that he doesn't run away like Dori had.
"Hi Doongie!" Jisung says excitedly, smiling at the cat on Minho's lap.
Now that he gets close, Jisung can spot the differences between Soonie and Doongie. Whereas Soonie's eyes are big and round, Doongie seems to be in the habit of squinting, giving him more of a resting bitch face. Their white spots of fur are also different.
When Jisung reaches his hand toward Minho's lap, Doongie sticks his head up to smell him, before laying down again.
Having been accepted by the cat, Jisung reaches to pet him, and Doongie lets this happen without complaints.
"I'm living my best life right now", Jisung comments, staring at Doongie. His entire body is overflowing with love for cats. "This is what heaven looks like. If I died right here and now, I would be happy."
"Don't die. My cats wouldn't be happy with you if you died", Minho jokes, then glances down at the two orange babies on either of their laps. "They like you. Doongie doesn't usually accept strangers so easily. Soonie is the only well-behaved one."
"But you're still holding Doongie", Jisung points out, scratching under Doongie's chin, which earns him a purr. He laughs. "Maybe that's why he's so calm."
Minho clearly doesn't agree.
"No, no. He would have clawed his way out of here if he didn't like you. Trust me."
Jisung looks at Doongie, squinting at the baby.
"No", he decides, shaking his head. "He would never. Doongie's just a baby, your honor, he could never hurt anyone!"
Minho grabs Doongie and lifts him up into the air, like baby Simba in the Lion King.
"Hey! Be nice to the baby!" Jisung frowns.
"Bastard child", Minho says, swinging Doongie carefully back and forth. Jisung gasps.
"You take that back!"
"Bastard baby."
"No!"
Jisung's phone chimes, interrupting any reply Minho had been about to give. Jisung tries to slide it out of his pocket without disturbing Soonie's rest, then unlocks it.
"Oh." He pouts. "I have to go home. I have an appointment soon."
"I thought you didn't go out?" Minho questions as he moves to stand up, then extends a hand to help Jisung do the same.
Soonie jumps off his lap as he shifts, and sad as it is, Jisung is just glad that he didn't have to be the one to remove him. He lets Minho pull him up from the floor, but he leaves his heart behind, broken. He hasn't even left yet and he already misses the cat babies.
"I don't. It's a video appointment."
"Ah."
Minho follows him to the front door, and Soonie trails behind his feet, looking up at Jisung as he gets ready to leave.
"I'm so sorry, Soonie", Jisung says, pouting at the cat. "I have to go."
"You can come back any time you want", Minho offers. "The cats might get sad if you don't."
"Oh, yeah. I have to come back. For the cats", Jisung agrees.
Then they stand there, just looking at each other, until Jisung's phone chimes again and he's reminded of why he's leaving in the first place.
"Well, then… bye!"
He rushes out the door before Minho can give a reply.
-
Jisung and Minho don't see each other again in the following week, but they text every single day. Minho sends him cat updates, pictures included, and Jisung shares every fun fact he learns while binge watching National Geography.
When Minho finds out that Jisung writes and produces his own music, their interactions expand to share emails, so that Jisung can send his mp3:s without fucking up the format. In turn, Minho sends old performance videos of him dancing, and if Jisung saves them all to his laptop, that's between him and god only.
But that's neither here nor there.
It's Sunday evening when Jisung sends Minho another message, this time a picture of his kitchen with the caption "I'm doomed to starve. rip. see u in the afterlife". In the picture is a package of instant ramen, unopened, standing on the counter right next to a saucepan and water. The water is all over the counter, while the saucepan is empty.
Minho doesn't respond. Instead, he comes knocking on the door.
Jisung is almost surprised by this turn of events, but only almost. Minho seems to be the aggressively caring type of person who will insult you to your face, and then compliment you behind your back, or break into your house just to do something nice for you, and that's Jisung's impression after knowing him for only a week.
When Jisung opens the door for him, Minho doesn't even bother with a greeting. He steps into the apartment as though he lives here and heads straight for the kitchen.
"Okay…?" Jisung says, trailing behind hesitantly.
Minho stops in front of the kitchen counters, where the mess is. Most people would just have responded to the message and told him to clean up after himself. Maybe Minho really wanted to do it in person?
"Where do you have paper towels?" Minho asks, but he spots them a second later, and moves to grab them from the other side of the stove before Jisung can even respond.
Jisung stares at him as he starts wiping the water.
"What are you doing?" he asks, incredulous.
Minho glances back at him.
"Do you want me to stop?" he questions. "I'm assuming you would have done this yourself already, if it was an option."
Jisung blanks.
Again, most people would have told him to just clean up the mess and move on. Somehow, despite barely knowing each other, Minho already understands him and his brain better than some people who have known him his entire life.
"Uh… Thank you."
Minho nods and goes back to wiping the water.
"No problem. I was bored, anyway. Do you wanna have dinner?"
Jisung was planning to go without dinner today, because he's been feeling on edge all day. Even just lifting the pot with water had been too much. That's why there's water all over his kitchen right now.
He hasn't had an attack yet, but it's as though the threat of one is constantly there, like dark clouds on an otherwise clear sky. It's not raining, but any moment now, it might start pouring.
"If you wanna eat, then yeah, but you don't have to go out of your way to do it for me", Jisung answers, sliding onto one of the dining chairs by his small table. "I wasn't planning on eating anything."
Minho throws the wet towel away, then turns to him with a frown.
"That's not good."
"Yeah, no shit, but it's not like I have a lot of options. Right now I can't lift anything, or touch anything with the wrong texture, or be close to something that's hot or cold."
Minho pulls out the chair on the other side of the table and sits down, tilting his head.
"Are your triggers emotional or sensory?" he asks.
Jisung stares at him. Minho looks completely serious, tilting his head as he waits for an answer.
"What?"
"Like, do I need to keep you calm or do I need to keep my apartment calm when you're here?"
"Uh... I mean..."
"You don't have to answer."
"Oh. Uh. You mean my pararibulitis triggers, right?"
"Yup."
"Oh. They're sensory." He pauses for a second, staring at Minho. "How did you know the types of triggers?"
"I read about it."
"Online?"
"In a book."
Jisung blinks, growing more and more confused the longer this interaction goes on.
"What book?"
"One I got from the library. It was called The death that never happened, and something else, I forgot the full title. It kinda explained pararibulitis and talked about it a bit."
Jisung waves his hands around, shaking his head in disbelief. Minho is so unlike other people he's talked to about this, especially in person, because most people get freaked out by the word 'hallucinations' and then don't want to talk about it any more. As if hearing the word is the difficult part…
"So you're telling me that you went to the library for a book about something you wanted to research? In this day and age?!"
"I did go online first", Minho admits with a shrug. "Found someone on instagram who had pararibulitis and she recommended this book, so I thought, why not? Then I read it. Or I didn't finish yet, but I'm about halfway through."
Jisung stares at him, taking this all in.
"I think I heard about that book, actually", he comments, not sure what else to say. "I didn't read it, but it sounded good."
Minho nods, humming.
"So far, yeah." Then he looks at Jisung. "So, if I make food, would you eat it?"
Jisung gets the weirdest sensation that this is all a dream, and he's not actually real. The overhanging sensation of an oncoming attack combined with Minho's unexpected willingness to learn about his illness, plus the offer of homemade food, it's all too good to be real. Too much.
"As long as it's not spicy", Jisung eventually answers, and Minho grins at him before getting up from his chair again, going to take stock of his kitchen.
The atmosphere is pleasant as Minho cooks. Jisung puts on some chill background music, and they talk about random things. The food itself is also nice. Not too much spice, but not too bland. Jisung nearly moans when he first tastes it, so used to ready-made meals or very simple dishes.
"Minho, this is really good!"
"Don't talk with food in your mouth", Minho admonishes, but reaches across the table to put more meat on Jisung's plate. "Doongie misses you, by the way. He goes around looking for you sometimes."
Jisung pouts. Then, it shifts into a frown.
"How do you even know that it's me he's looking for? What if he's just exploring the apartment?"
"Because you're the only guest I've had since I moved, and Doongie has never acted like this before. He doesn't care about people, usually, and that's not the face he has when he's exploring."
Jisung feels touched. Both that Minho is telling him this, and that Doongie misses him as much as he misses the little baby.
"I miss him too! Tell him that I'll come over tomorrow. If that's not a problem for you, I mean…?"
He trails off, unsure if it's okay to just invite himself over to another person's apartment like this.
Minho, who just put food in his mouth and is busy chewing, can't say anything in response, but he nods. Jisung grins.
"Great! I miss your cats. Maybe I'll even get to see Dori this time."
-
Soonie and Doongie are quick to find Jisung when he comes over the next day, and he settles down with them on the coach this time while Minho goes searching for the youngest little boy.
As he pets the two cats, his eyes roam around the room, noting the few decorations and the boxes that still haven't been unpacked, but are just pushed against the wall underneath the window. Then his eyes find a book on the coffee table, and he does a double take.
The death that never happened: A personal and scientific exploration of pararibulitis.
Even though Minho had told him about this before, it seems to become more real now that he sees it with his own eyes: Minho went to the library and borrowed this book just to read up on Jisung's condition. And sure, he doesn't think he's the center of Minho's universe, so it's not like he can take credit for all of Minho's actions, but at least part of the reasons is… or might be, because Jisung told him about having pararibulitis.
His musings are cut short as Minho reenters the room, cradling a familiar cat in his arms.
"Dori, this is Han Jisung", Minho speaks to the cat as he crouches down in front of the couch, slowly, so that Dori has time to jump away if he doesn't want to do this. Jisung watches with bated breath. "Jisung is my friend, so he might show up here sometimes. You don't have to be scared, though. Just be nice, yeah, Dori?"
Dori watches Jisung carefully, neither of them moving.
Then, Dori meows and bops his head.
"Hold out your hand!" Minho says, excited, and Jisung does slowly, so as to not scare Dori even though he seems to be okay for now.
Dori sniffs his hand, then meows again and relaxes in Minho's arms. He's not as keen on being petted as the other two, but his acceptance is a win in Jisung's books.
Minho is smiling brightly.
"He likes you!"
Jisung scoffs, disbelieving.
"All he did was smell my hand and not run away immediately. That's, like… The most neutral of neutral that you can be about a person."
Minho is adamant, shaking his head and cradling Dori closer.
"No, no. Dori only stays if he likes you. Sometimes he doesn't stay even if he likes you. He's unpredictable like that."
Jisung decides to take this for what it's worth, and smiles at Dori, the little cat baby peeking up at him from his perch in Minho's arms.
Before either of them can say anything else, the doorbell rings, and Jisung's heart stops. He freezes.
Minho puts Dori down on the floor, and moves to get up, but pauses right before he can leave.
"I'm just going to get that… Hey, are you good?"
Logically, there should be two cats on Jisung's lap, but when he looks down, that's not what he sees. The sound of the doorbell seems to echo in his head, ringing louder and louder until he can't even hear himself breathe. His hands shake as he lifts them from his body. Away from the barbed wire wrapped around his chest.
His breaths come in short gasps. The pain comes on out of nowhere, once he realizes that he has barbed wire stuck around himself, restricting his lungs and digging into his skin, sharp metal edges drawing blood that spills all over Minho's couch. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts…
"Jisung?"
His hands shake, and he looks up to meet Minho's gaze. There's an expression on Minho's face. He should know what it is.
He doesn't.
Without another word, he pushes himself up from the couch, distantly wondering where the cats went, hoping that they got off his lap already. He can't tell.
"Hey, Jisung, wait…!"
He stumbles through the hallway to the front door, keeping his hands away from his body and trying to do the same with his upper arms, but it can't be avoided. They scrape against the sharp wire, ripping open new wounds, and he has to clench his jaw to bite back a groan from the pain.
The smell of blood invades his nostrils and nearly makes him gag, but he can't be thrown off track now. If he stops, he's not sure he'll be able to take another step.
Jisung is vaguely aware of Minho's presence in the back as he falls forward and hangs onto the door handle, struggling to pry it open with his shaking hands, but eventually, he does. He nearly falls into the hallway.
"Woah, careful there… Jisung?!"
Jisung knows that voice. He looks up and finds Chan staring at him, concern in his eyes. It only grows more once he registers the state that Jisung is in. He softens his voice.
"Hey, Hannie, where are your meds?"
"Cabinet", Jisung grunts out, letting Chan grab hold of his shoulder to prop him upright, even though he's worried about Chan cutting himself on the barbed wire.
"Alright. And the keys to your apartment…?"
Jisung struggles to think through the pain, trying to remember where he last put them, but the only image in his mind is that of ruby red droplets staining the floor, staining the couch, filling his nose and mouth and lungs…
"Hannie." Chan's voice is the only sound he can make out in between the blood rushing through his ears. "Your apartment is locked. Do you know where the keys are?"
Jisung manages a shake of his head.
Chan turns to someone behind him.
"And you?"
Whatever response he gets must be in the negative, because Chan swears, and Chan almost never does that. At least not in front of Jisung.
Then, his feet are suddenly off the ground and he's being carried. He tries to open his mouth to warn Chan of the barbed wire that his body is wrapped in, but all that comes out is a weak whine. It hurts in his throat now, too.
"I know, Hannie, it hurts. You can rest. Go to sleep."
Jisung wishes he could, but his chest feels like it's been pried open. He can't think through the fog in his head.
"You're doing so well. It's almost over, I promise. I'm right here with you. You're okay, you're going to be okay."
Then, Jisung finally manages to close his eyes.
-
Minho picks up Soonie from the floor for emotional support, before he continues his pacing around the living room, casting several glances both at the boy passed out on his couch, and the stranger who's crouched in front of him.
"What happened?!" Minho asks, unable to stay quiet any longer.
He just watched Jisung have what looked to be a panic attack right in front of him, though his latest readings and what he knows about Jisung lead him to believe that it wasn't actually a panic attack. Either way, Minho is understandably a bit freaked out. Now the boy is unconscious on his couch, and from the conversation he overheard between Jisung and this other guy, they can't get his meds.
"He'll be fine, don't worry about it", the stranger replies, dodging the question with no finesse whatsoever. "My name's Chan, by the way. You're Minho, right?"
"But why? How?! Do you know what's wrong?"
He's aware that he's ignoring the question, but names seem so much less important than what's going on right now.
"I do. Me and another one of our friends brought him to the hospital the first time this happened", Chan tells Minho, gently running his hands through Jisung's hair. The unconscious boy doesn't even stir. "He doesn't like telling people about it. I'm pretty sure the only reason we know is because we were there the first time."
Minho waves him off.
"Yeah, yeah, I know about the pararibulitis. I meant, why is he passed out? What happens if he can't get his meds? Will he be okay?!"
Chan looks surprised by this. Maybe he had thought Minho wouldn't know about the diagnosis, with how recent his and Jisung's friendship is.
"Yeah, he just needs to rest", Chan eventually replies. "The meds normally put him to sleep. There's not really any better treatment than that, sadly. It's just, deal with the attack until you can either get meds to pass out, or until the pain gets too much and you pass out from that instead."
It sounds horrible.
"That must be difficult", Minho comments, his voice sounding weak to his own ears.
Chan just shrugs.
"I guess. I can't speak for him. But it makes going outside difficult, to know that you might have to pass out wherever you go, so he can never go anywhere alone, and even if he's with someone, you can't go too far from a car in case he'll be unconscious when you go back."
Minho doesn't like to pity people, and so he doesn't pity Jisung, but he does admire the younger's strength for being able to deal with this and still remaining cheerful.
Not that it would have been bad for him not to be. Just… He admires Jisung a bit. Just a little.
(Don't tell Hyunjin he said that. He would have a field day with that information.)
-
Chan calls someone else to bring a set of spare keys for Jisung's apartment, and then he carries Jisung home, apologizing to Minho for the inconvenience, which Minho actually gets mad at him for; people aren't inconveniences! They're just people, and especially this situation, which was completely out of their control.
He goes on a whole rant before Chan meekly clarifies that he meant himself.
"I triggered this attack when I rang the doorbell", he explains, holding a passed out Jisung in his arms. "His triggers are sensory. The doorbell is loud and sudden. That's why his apartment has the doorbell disabled. Plus, the only reason I even rang on your door was because I was looking for Jisung, cause he wasn't opening his door. I didn't know he would be in here, but I thought you might know where he was."
Minho hadn't known that. He feels a bit guilty for going off on Chan like that, but the other boy assures him there's no harm done, and if anything, he likes Minho more for having gone out of his way to defend Jisung when he didn't even know what was being said, and Minho thinks that maybe this Chan guy isn't so bad.
The next day, Jisung messages Minho and invites over to watch Spirited away, acting as if nothing has happened, and Minho supposes that from Jisung's perspective, nothing has. This is his everyday life and he's used to this.
Minho only mentions it once, right after they've gotten settled on the couch.
"You feeling better today?"
"Yup!" Jisung grins at him, no trace of yesterday's exhaustion visible. "Chan even got me apology ice cream, even though he didn't have to apologize for anything! Oh, do you want some?"
Jisung is already halfway out of the couch when he asks, so Minho accepts.
Their days fall into a sort of routine. They hang out nearly every single day, sometimes with the cats in Minho's apartment, sometimes watching movies in Jisung's, almost always ending it by having dinner together. Minho cooks some days. Other times they order in.
Minho also gets to know the other regulars that pop by in Jisung's life: Chan–who he had already met–, their friend Changbin, and Jisung's brother Younghyun, but he is so preoccupied with Jisung when he comes over that Minho isn't sure if he even notices that Jisung has a guest.
"He's overprotective", Jisung says after Younghyun leaves, and Minho supposed that's true enough, though he can understand where Younghyun is coming from. At least he's nice about it. Not as suffocating as some people get when they're overprotective.
Jisung also gets to meet the few people Minho interacts with outside dance. His parents don't live nearby, and he has no siblings, so there's not a lot of people Jisung can meet. But he does have two friends from back in high school, and Jisung gets along with them well, even though the night ends with him having to rush home because his body is set on fire.
Not physically, of course, but a pararibulitis attack has him seeing himself as though he was on fire.
His two friends are surprisingly chill about it, once he tells them that it was pararibulitis. One of them even recognizes Jisung.
"Oh, that's why he seemed familiar. I've seen his videos on tiktok."
Minho, who doesn't have tiktok himself, makes a mental note to ask Felix the next time he sees him, because Felix uses tiktok more than what would be considered healthy. Minho just wants to check out what type of content Jisung makes. That's it. It's not like he's stalking him, or anything.
Minho actually gets the answer from Jisung himself less than a week later, because Minho has no impulse control and Jisung is quickly becoming one of the most important people in his life, so of course he has to tell him about how one of his high school friends recognized Jisung from tiktok.
"Oh!" Jisung says, sounding surprised. "I forgot that the people on tiktok exist in real life."
After finding out that Minho does not have the app, Jisung grabs his own phone to show Minho what his account looks like on there.
"You should download tiktok so you can follow me", Jisung adds with a wink.
Minho stares at him.
"Wow", he deadpans. "You're so subtle. What a strategic marketing mastermind you are. They should hire you to make advertisements."
Jisung ignores his sarcasm entirely, beaming at Minho.
"Right! I would be so great at it!"
And maybe he would be, because it works: Minho is sold in less than five minutes.
After giving Minho a brief overview of his own account, which turns out to be disability content – a mix serious and humorous videos – Jisung also introduces Minho to some other highlights you can find on tiktok.
He is clearly a man after Minho's heart, because he starts with the cute animal videos.
"Alright, that's it", Minho declares, taking Jisung's phone out of his hands to scroll by himself. "I'm downloading tiktok. You better send me all these animal videos later."
Jisung solemnly swears to do so, and he upholds his promise later that night, after Minho has returned to his own apartment and had time to set up an account. Their conversation quickly fills with tiktoks they want to show the other, especially videos with animals, but also a lot of humorous ones. Minho especially likes to find the weirdest looking animals he can, and then sending them to Jisung with messages that say stuff like "Look, it's your birth parents!" or other similar things.
Three months after meeting him, Jisung has grown to become the most important person in Minho's life.
-
"Do you ever want to go out?"
Jisung takes a second to finish writing a lyric before closing his notebook, looking up at Minho from where he's sitting on the living room floor. He raises an eyebrow.
"Are you asking or inviting me?" he retorts.
Minho, whose lap is currently full of cat, pets Soonie as he talks. The orange baby watches Jisung, but makes no move to get off Minho's lap.
"Both. I don't have a car, but I have a license, so I could drive us. If you want to. You don't have to."
Jisung is hesitant. It's been four years since his first attack happened, and ever since then, he has spent 99% of his time at home. There have been rare occasions when his brother has brought him somewhere. A small cafe, or a park, but always somewhere with a parking lot nearby and never too far from home. Jisung loves those little expeditions, even though every single one of them has ended with him having an attack. At least he's prepared for it to happen. He never expects anything better.
But, it has always been with his brother. They've been few and far in between, and Jisung has no idea how he would react to a new place.
"Where could we go?" he asks instead, looking at Minho.
The older smiles at him.
"There's an ice cream shop near the park. If we go in the morning, there won't be many people."
Jisung is anxious.
He wants to go. He wants to stay home. He wants to spend time with Minho, and he wants to be able to do things that Minho wants, go to the same places together, see new things and share experiences. He wants to avoid all of this and hide under a blanket all day long.
It's scary, but his attacks happen even when he stays at home. There's no preventing them, no matter where he is.
"Alright", Jisung says, hoping that his resolution won't waver too quickly. "Tomorrow morning? I'll text you when I wake up."
Minho looks like he's trying not to be too excited.
"Are you sure?" he asks, sitting upright. "I don't wanna pressure you into something you don't want. But if you do, then yeah, tomorrow is good."
"I want to." Jisung at least has no doubt about this. "I'll have attacks whether I'm at home or outside, so I might as well do something fun before I pass out in pain."
Minho snorts, despite his best attempts not to.
"It's okay, you can laugh." Jisung grins.
The following morning, Minho goes to pick up his parents' car and then returns to their apartment complex to pick up Jisung.
Just going downstairs is strange. Exiting the building is even weirder, and getting into Minho's parents's car is just the cherry on top. Jisung is glad that Minho doesn't ask how he's doing, because he's not sure how he could have answered. He's even more glad that when Minho starts a conversation, it is not deep at all, and he doesn't have to think too much about what to say.
"If you could travel anywhere, where would you wanna go?" Minho asks as he drives.
Jisung doesn't even hesitate.
"Malaysia."
"Really? Why?"
"I used to live there." At Minho's surprised glance, he elaborates. "My family moved there for dad's work. I went to elementary school there. It was nice, so I'd like to go back and visit, if I can."
"You could manipulate an airline company into sponsoring you with a trip there." When Jisung laughs, Minho continues, voice completely serious even though Jisung can see how his eyes crinkle in amusement at his own words. "What? You have, like, a million followers on tiktok now. Just tell the airline that you'll give them really good publicity."
Jisung turns to look at Minho's side profile as he drives, amused by his antics.
"Uh huh. That's completely reasonable."
"I mean, yeah. Isn't that what all the influencers are doing these days?"
"You sound like an old man when you say that!"
"Hey! Show your elders some respect!"
Jisung laughs. Minho is completely ridiculous sometimes.
"You're so weird", he says, the laughter audible in his voice. When Minho pouts, he coos. "Aww, don't pout! That's what I like about you, that you're weird. It's fun. But I'm normal, right?"
"I like normal", Minho says, looking away from the road briefly to meet Jisung's gaze, and Jisung's heart flutters.
They make it all the way to the ice cream parlor with Jisung's heart still intact, which is good, because he only has one and he kind of needs that to live.
He feels less nervous now than he had been before leaving the house. Maybe it's like ripping off a band-aid. Starting is the hardest part, but now, that part is over with. He's almost calm as he gets out of the car and follows Minho toward the little shop, sticking close to the older boy's side, but avoiding touch.
"Ooh, it's pretty!" Jisung speaks, bouncing a little on his heels in excitement.
The parlor is modern but colorful, with pink walls and a checkered floor, not so much that the visuals become overwhelming, but just enough to be pretty while also not hurting anyone's eyes. It will get too much eventually, but Jisung is determined to enjoy this as much as he can before that happens.
"Can you please order for me?" he whispers, brushing against Minho's shoulder as he leans in to ask.
Minho grabs his shoulder, very gently, and pushes him toward one of the window tables.
"I was gonna do that before you asked. You can go grab us a table. What flavors do you want?"
Jisung looks toward the display, but he's already decided.
"Chocolate and banana, please."
Minho smiles.
"Kay. Be right back."
Jisung sits down and looks around the parlor while he waits, thinking that maybe he wouldn't mind going outside a bit more often. Not everyday, of course, because he still needs time to recover, but a few times a week, maybe?
He's in the process of realizing that he forgot to give Minho money for the ice cream when Minho returns to the table, an ice cream cone in each hand. He hands one over to Jisung.
"I forgot to pay you, I'm sorry!" Jisung says apologetically as he accepts the ice cream.
Minho gives him a strange look.
"What? You don't have to pay. I ordered, so I'll pay."
Jisung frowns.
"But shouldn't I still pay you back?"
Minho just shrugs and starts licking his ice cream.
"No, don't bother. It's my treat."
"Oh, like a date!"
Sometimes, Jisung wishes his brain could work just a little bit slower, because he genuinely does not realize what words are leaving his mouth until they're already spoken, and Minho is looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.
Jisung feels his face grow hot, and hopes that he's not blushing too badly.
"Then… You'll pay on our next date?"
Whatever response Jisung had been expecting, it wasn't this. He stares at Minho with parted lips, ice cream cone forgotten.
Minho raises an eyebrow and takes another lick of his ice cream.
"What? You're the one who called this a date, so now it is. Or do you have a secret boyfriend that I don't know about?"
The joke at least manages to get Jisung's tongue untied.
"And where would I have found a boyfriend, do you think?" he retorts. "Under my couch? Inside my closet? It's not like I ever go outside, so that would be quite the achievement."
Minho shrugs, but he's grinning.
"Maybe, I don't know… You might have a really cute guy living next door, or something. Someone you wouldn't even have to go outside to find?"
"Damn", Jisung comments. His heart is fluttering again. "You're smooth."
"Too bad that really cute guy is already my neighbor." Minho grins at him. "And I'm sorry, but I don't think you could find a cuter guy to date."
Jisung's cheeks feel hot again.
"Maybe not, but lucky for me, I already have a really hot neighbor, and he buys me ice cream, so I don't need your cute guy!"
"Oh, does he, now?"
Jisung grins.
"Yeah!" Then, he glances at his ice cream before holding it out toward Minho. "Do you wanna taste? It's really good!"
Minho nods, and they exchange cones to try each other's before switching back again.
"I like mine better, but yours was good, too", Minho says, and goes back to licking his own mint choco ice cream.
They eat in silence, but only for a few minutes before Jisung can't take it anymore. He's not satisfied with where they left their conversation. They rarely have deep conversations with each other, and Jisung is happy to keep it that way, because he's forced to have enough deep conversation as it is. The casualty he's found with Minho is precious. He treasures it more highly than he would any other person, so he can't let this opportunity slip past his fingers now.
"So", he starts, trying to sound inconspicuous. He's not sure he succeeds. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Minho looks up at him. Jisung isn't sure how he can tell, but there is mischief of Minho's face. It's so obvious. He just knows that Minho is about to joke, or say something really sarcastic, or just the most out-of-context statement you could never imagine.
"As a matter of fact, I do", he says, and Jisung panics for a brief second before he continues. "Remember that really cute guy who lives next door? Yeah. I'm planning to ask him out."
At the suggestion that Minho might ask Jisung out before Jisung has the chance to ask Minho out, he panics and hurries to ask it himself.
"Minho, do you wanna be my boyfriend?"
Minho jumps, spilling some ice cream on the table, and reacher for the tissue dispenser to wipe it off.
"Why do you sound like you're in a rush?" he questions, glaring at Jisung, trying to look intimidating. "Look, I made a mess because of you!"
"Sure. Blame me for your own lack of coordination. But, about my question…"
Minho smiles. He looks like a cat meme.
"Yes, but only if you'll be my boyfriend, as well."
"Of course!"
Jisung does end up having a pararibulitis attack once they've finished eating their ice creams, but he had been expecting it, so he's not too surprised. It still hurts like fucking hell.
He curses all the way out to the car, and even though it's not far, he leans most of his weight on Minho, struggling the entire way. His feet are stuck in blocks of ice, and he can't feel his legs anymore, as his brain is convinced that the nerves in his legs are actually frozen. Stupid fucking brain. Jisung wants a brain transplant as soon as possible. (Not really, but a cure for pararibulitis would be nice.)
Halfway to the car, after Jisung stumbles for the umpteenth time, Minho gives up and scoops him into his arms in a bridal-style carry, while Jisung tries to stay awake despite the coldness that seeps through his bones.
His meds are in the car, and he's close to passing out, but before he swallows them, he looks to Minho and says, "Thank you."
Minho looks like he's half a second away from forcing the pills down Jisung's throat and doesn't respond, so Jisung shrugs and swallows the pills, before sinking into blissful unconsciousness.
Three months later, when the two of them are more comfortable in their relationship, they agree for Jisung to talk about it on his tiktok, because he's always been candid in his videos, and hiding his relationship is something he simply doesn't think he's capable of.
The online sphere finds out about Jisung and Minho's relationship through a tiktok interview, and a thumbnail captioned "What's it like dating someone with pararibulitis?"
Minho seems chill about being in one of Jisung's tiktoks. Even Soonie wants to join, but they are forced to get rid of him because there's no good and safe place for him to sit while they film, sadly. Jisung pouts as he watches their cat baby walk away. Then, he focuses on the phone they have set up in front of themselves.
"So, Minho", Jisung starts. "What's it like dating someone with pararibulitis?"
"What kind of question is that?" Minho scrunches his nose up. He hasn't gotten to hear the question before filming, so his reaction is authentic. "I mean, it's not contagious…? I can't answer that. It's, like, trying to pick only one aspect of you and then ignore the rest of your personality. I'm not dating your pararibulitis."
Jisung swivels back around to face the camera, grinning brightly.
"Well, there you have it, folks! I'm still a person, despite my pararibulitis!"
"Who said you aren't?"
Minho's voice has taken on a sharp edge, so Jisung is quick to dismiss this question with some waving of his hands. He doesn't need Minho to go off on anyone right now.
"Hypothetical scenario!"
Minho is still glaring at the camera. Jisung sighs.
"And you said Younghyun is overprotective…"
"I stand by that."
"Not saying you're wrong. Just that it's hypocritical of you to say that about him, when you're literally out here acting like this."
Minho pouts and whines, and Jisung thinks that he's acting more like a baby than their cat babies do.
"Like what?" Minho questions in a whiny voice.
Jisung rolls his eyes.
"I've seen you argue with the people in my comment section", he says. "You're not fooling anyone. Hyunjin literally calls you 'the Jisung protector' behind your back."
"Those aren't people, they're just rude and ignorant!" Minho argues, ignoring the part about Hyunjin and his nickname for him. "Ignorant ableists don't count as people. Also, I'm legally allowed to hit them in the face. That's just the law."
He pulls Jisung in closer by the waist, even as the younger rolls his eyes again, but he's smiling fondly.
"You're so weird."
Minho nuzzles into his neck, and Jisung laughs.
"You love me", Minho states confidently.
"Regretfully, yes. But you love me too, so it evens out."
"That's true. I do."