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“Have you quit daytime?” Hyunjin asks with a small laugh as he enters their bedroom in the afternoon. He hasn’t seen Felix out of this room during the day for weeks. At first, he thought Felix was just having a hard time after what happened, but now he’s starting to think that there might be more to the story.
“So what if I have?” Felix’s voice is hoarse, like he just woke up. He probably did, he always sleeps all day and stays up all night now. Hyunjin didn’t know that it was possible to be this worried about someone, but he is so worried about Felix that it physically hurts to think about. He is at a loss of what to do, he has tried everything to help, and all his efforts have failed.
“Sunlight is good for the soul.” Hyunjin says in a light tone like that will convince Felix. It’s almost five in the afternoon, and he wants his boyfriend to enjoy some sun before it goes down. Even though Felix is right here, Hyunjin misses him. He misses cuddling at night and going out during the day. Felix shuts him down every time he suggests they do anything together now, insisting on staying in the darkness of their room.
“What idiot said that?” Felix grumbles from under the covers. They are pulled up so high that Hyunjin can barely see his eyes peeking out. The deep brown irises pull Hyunjin in like a magnet, almost like they’re casting a spell over him. Felix has always had that effect on him, so at least that hasn’t changed.
“Well, it’s actually scientifically proven that sunlight makes humans healthier both mentally and physically.” Hyunjin says, he thinks he read that somewhere during his hours of researching how to help Felix. He still doesn’t know exactly what happened that day, he just knows that Felix was hurt when he came home, and he never explained.
“Not me.” Felix says, like he is an exception to science. Hyunjin moves over to sit at the foot of the bed, snorting a laugh at Felix’s comment. He places a hand on Felix’s ankle, almost feeling how cold his skin is through the blanket. His skin is always cold, but Felix never complains about it.
“Right. Because you’re not human.” Hyunjin says with another laugh. Felix suddenly sits up in bed, squinting at Hyunjin and making him forget all about the joke. For some reason, the look makes Hyunjin nervous. There’s a flash of not Felix in his eyes as he stares at Hyunjin, so intensely that it sends chills down his spine.
“I’m kidding.” Hyunjin throws his hands up in the air, desperate for Felix to stop looking at him like that. It works, and Hyunjin is thankful when Felix’s attention returns to suffocating himself under the covers. Hyunjin decides to take matters into his own hands. If Felix won’t let him, Hyunjin won’t ask for permission. He moves over to the window, taking a hold of the curtains, and opening them.
“No, stop!” Felix cries from behind him, but it’s too late. Light floods the room, filling it with warm rays of sun. It is refreshing to feel the heat on his skin while standing in this room again. He remembers how beautiful Felix looks in the sun, skin golden, freckles enhanced and eyes shining in the sunlight.
“There you-” Hyunjin cuts himself off when he turns around and Felix is nowhere to be found. “Go.” He whispers, finishing what he was saying as a frown pulls at his face. Looking around the room, he finds Felix squeezed into the only dark corner left in the room.
“Close the curtains.” Felix sounds so fragile as he backs even further into the corner between the dresser and the wall, looking nervously at the light in front of him. This behavior is reaching a new level of strange and Hyunjin does not know what to think about it. Since when was Felix this scared of a little sunlight?
“But it’s just…” Hyunjin trails off, figuring that it doesn’t help to tell Felix that it’s just light. He’s never seen anyone have such a strong reaction to sunlight before, especially not from Felix who loves the sun. He would always drag Hyunjin outside as soon as the sun came out in spring, insisting on soaking it up even when it was still cold outside.
The permanent worry in Hyunjin’s gut deepens. It feels that Felix loses himself more and more every day. All the things that make him Felix just evaporate and replace him with this person Hyunjin doesn’t recognize. Seeing him avoid the sunlight like it will hurt him tells Hyunjin that something is very wrong with the person he loves more than life itself.
“Close them.” Felix says sharply, somehow managing to look terrifying while he’s squeezed into a corner and cowering in fear. Hyunjin wordlessly closes the curtains, and Felix visibly relaxes, slumping against the wall. Then he shuffles back to bed and curls up under the covers like nothing happened. Hyunjin is left beyond confused at what is going on.
The whole thing makes Hyunjin anxious. That day four weeks ago when Felix was missing, something changed. None of the members heard from him all night as they desperately searched the whole city for him. Then Felix came wandering home early in the morning like nothing was wrong, and he never answered any of their questions. He just threw away his dirty clothes and went to take a shower.
Hyunjin spent all day convincing Felix to go to the doctor, and he finally went that night, probably to make Hyunjin shut up. A full checkup was done on him, and they found nothing wrong, not even a scratch on his body. Even the paper cut he had gotten the previous day had healed. No one could find a heartbeat, but they blamed that on the machines malfunctioning because of course he had a heartbeat, he’s alive.
But Hyunjin hasn’t felt his heart beating since then. When he rests his head on Felix’s chest, he doesn’t hear it, and when he holds his wrist or kisses his neck, there’s no fluttering under the skin. Hyunjin has never heard of anything like it before. Besides the undead, but that’s all fiction and ghost stories, and he can’t even take the thought seriously.
“Are you just going to stand there?” Felix breaks Hyunjin out of his thoughts. He shakes his head at himself, almost laughing at where his thoughts went. Felix has lifted the corner on the blanket, a clear invitation, and Hyunjin won’t turn it down.
He climbs into bed and cuddles up with Felix, leaning in for a soft kiss before resting his head on Felix’s chest, trying to find his heartbeat but only getting silence. He’s used to it by now, so it doesn’t scare him as much, but he still misses it.
“Would you tell me if you were in danger?” Hyunjin asks, not sure where the question comes from. He’s just scared that he’s missing something, and he can’t even think about losing Felix.
“Of course I would, where is this coming from?” Felix asks in the softest voice, sounding so much like himself. He is himself, but also not. There has been a shift and Hyunjin doesn’t know how to explain it. All of what Felix was before is still here, but now Hyunjin feels like he is missing something huge, a big part of the puzzle that he can’t see, but he knows it’s there.
“Then why won’t you tell me what happened to you?” Hyunjin asks, lifting his head to look at Felix. It is unfair of him to put this much pressure on Felix when he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to talk about it, but he is so desperate to find out what he doesn’t know. He knows that Felix won’t crack, but he can’t help but try anyway.
“It doesn’t matter.” Felix says, and heavy disappointment fills Hyunjin. He’s always so hopeful even though he tries not to be. Some part of him believes that Felix will share everything someday, when he’s ready. But the more time passes, the more he loses that hope.
“Yes, it does. Everything changed after that night.” Hyunjin says, wracking his brain for an explanation, but he only ends up back at the crazy thought of supernatural creatures. If those existed, this mystery would be so much easier to solve. There would be a simple solution, but this is something much more complex than werewolves and sirens.
“It’s better if you don’t know. Trust me.” Felix says, and what can Hyunjin say to that? He does trust Felix, with everything he has, so maybe it really is better if he doesn’t know. Hyunjin still wants to know, but trying to figure it out without Felix’s help doesn’t give him any answers.
Despite knowing how ridiculous it is, the thought lingers in Hyunjin’s mind for a while. What does he even know about the undead? There are so many myths, it’s hard to know if anything is real. Are there so many myths because it’s so old and widespread, or because it’s rooted in truth?
The myths contradict each other on most things, but they have a few things in common; the undead don’t go out in the sun, they have a ‘special diet’, and they’re dead. Oddly enough, that seems to describe Felix pretty well.
Felix only picks at the food Hyunjin serves him, yet he looks perfectly healthy, maybe a little pale, but he hasn’t gotten any sun in weeks so that’s to be expected. He seems to go out almost every night, gone for hours before he sneaks back in in good time before sunrise. He avoids the sun like it’ll burn him alive, and he doesn’t have a heartbeat.
-
The next day, a package shows up on their front door. Hyunjin almost trips over it on his way in the door with too many grocery bags. Carefully stepping over it, he sets the bags inside before getting the box. He is so distracted that he almost forgets about it while unloading all the groceries in the kitchen.
Going back to the front door, he picks up the box and is surprised at how light it is. Bringing it to the kitchen, he carefully opens it. Inside is a dry bouquet of small purple flowers. He brings them up to his nose, expecting it to be a species of Lavender, but they don’t smell of anything. There’s a note carefully placed in the box; on it words are scribbled in a familiar handwriting.
Vervain
Used to get the truth and protect yourself from vampires
-Chan
Hyunjin huffs a laugh. He knows that Chan is referring to their conversations about Felix. Their shared worry and confusion gave Felix the nickname ‘vampire’. What else would you call someone who fears light and is practically nocturnal? It’s a stupid joke to make a scary situation feel a little more bearable, and Felix would kill them if he ever found out about it.
Hyunjin doesn’t know what vervain actually does or how he’s supposed to use it, but a quick search online tells him that it has a calming effect and is often used as tea. Maybe it will be similar to chamomile, Felix used to love chamomile. It’s one of the only things he still drinks. Hyunjin figures it’s worth a try, and if Felix doesn’t like it, he doesn’t have to drink it again.
After doing some minimal research on how to use it, he crushes up some of the flowers, carefully puts them in a tea strainer and pours hot water over it. The water turns a warm yellow, almost orange and smells faintly of sweet herbs. Hyunjin will have to make one for himself at some point, but for now he settles for stealing a sip, burning his tongue at how hot it still is.
Taking it through the apartment, he finds Felix curled up under the covers. The dark room is a stark contrast to the sun filled apartment, but Hyunjin won’t test it after what happened yesterday. Once again, worry and anxiety twists in Hyunjin’s stomach when he sees Felix. What if Felix is just deeply depressed? Hyunjin doesn’t know if he can handle seeing him in that much pain.
Hyunjin shakes it off, he would know if Felix was depressed. This is something entirely different, something he can’t explain no matter how much research he does on mental health. The word agoraphobia often comes up, but Felix has no problem going out at night or meeting their friends. Any kind of anxiety is easily ruled out by never seeing him anxious, Felix could never hide that from Hyunjin.
He doesn’t eat a lot, but he isn’t losing weight so Hyunjin isn’t any more worried about that than anything else. Bipolar, BPD, PTDS, AvPD, none of it seems to fit. Maybe whatever it is doesn’t fit a label, and he’s just struggling with the trauma of what happened that night. Hyunjin knows that something happened because Felix came home with clothes covered in what looked like blood. It would be so much easier if Felix talked about it.
Hyunjin sets the hot cup down on the nightstand and sits down on the bed, silently watching Felix’s sleeping form for a moment. He looks peaceful like this, like he has no worries in the world. Would he be able to sleep if he wasn’t human? Leaning closer to Felix, Hyunjin has no doubt that he really is asleep, but why would he ever question it?
“Wakey, wakey.” Hyunjin enjoys teasing Felix a little too much. Felix groans but shows no other sign of waking up. It’s a wonder how Felix doesn’t suffocate from the heat from all the blankets he has wrapped himself in, but his skin is always cold now, so Hyunjin doesn’t comment on it.
“I brought tea.” To Hyunjin’s surprise, Felix reacts. He emerges from the blankets, sleepy smile and bleary eyes going straight to Hyunjin’s heart. The worry melts away like it never existed, replaced by comfort at how normal Felix looks. It’s almost scary how much Hyunjin’s mood is affected by Felix’s mood, but maybe that’s just what love is.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Felix’s voice is so soft and caring, and Hyunjin blushes at the pet name. Felix’s mood is so up and down every day, but Hyunjin thinks he has figured out a pattern by now. If he is right, he knows exactly why Felix is in such a good mood today.
“Okay, I think I got it. You’re in a good mood on the days you’ve been out all night, right?” Hyunjin says it like it doesn’t bother him, but he doesn’t sleep well on those nights. Felix never tells him he’s leaving or where he’s going or when he’ll be back, leaving Hyunjin to worry in an empty bed for hours, imagining every kind of scenario that could explain Felix disappearing at night.
“I guess so.” Felix looks thoughtful, like he hadn’t noticed until now. Hyunjin hands him the tea and Felix thanks him, leaning in for a soft kiss. When they pull apart, Felix takes a sip of the tea, and promptly spits it back out. Hyunjin can almost hear it burning Felix’s mouth, but the low sizzling sound has to be in his head. Hyunjin takes the cup from him as he collapses in a coughing fit.
“What’s happening?” Hyunjin desperately asks, putting the cup on the nightstand so he can grab Felix and hold onto him as if it will protect him from harm. He hears the cup fall to the floor behind his back but doesn’t pay it any mind. He didn’t think that the tea was still that hot, it felt fine in his hands.
“Burns.” Felix gasps out between coughing and wheezing, hands covering his throat. His lips are red from the burn, and Hyunjin looks back at the tea on the floor as if it will explain anything, but all he sees is broken shards of porcelain and a clear puddle of liquid. Hyunjin has never seen someone get burned like this from a hot drink, it’s like Felix’s skin is having a reaction to it.
The words ‘protect yourself from vampires’ come back to Hyunjin. What did Chan mean by that? Did he know that the vervain would burn Felix like this? There is a connection there, Hyunjin knows it, he just can’t figure it out. Without thinking, Hyunjin bends over the edge of the bed to dip his fingers in the puddle of tea on the floor, it’s nowhere near hot enough to burn him, but he sits back up and touches Felix’s arm.
“Ouch, fuck.” Felix cringes back. There’s a red spot left where Hyunjin’s fingers touched him, his fingerprints a stark contrast to his pale skin. “Why would you do that?” Felix glares at him with those scary eyes that sends a chill down Hyunjin’s back, but it isn’t Felix he fears, it’s something else.
“Sorry.” Hyunjin mutters, his mind is empty as he watches the fingerprints on Felix’s arm disappear in a matter of seconds. Felix’s lips have returned to their normal color too, and he’s stopped coughing. It’s as if nothing happened, other than the fact that Felix still looks ready to kill him.
“What the hell was that?” Felix asks, looking and sounding as confused as Hyunjin feels. Hyunjin looks back and forth between the puddle on the floor and Felix for a moment before he’s able to speak. His brain is making connections he is not ready to face. There is no way he is right, it can’t be real, there is just no way.
“Vervain.” Hyunjin says, his voice weak. There’s suddenly too much happening in his mind at once. Too many questions that only lead to more questions. He finds himself rethinking every thought he’s had in the last four weeks. Maybe nothing is too crazy. He’s exhausted every rational option, should he start looking at what he thought was impossible?
“Revain?” Felix mishears him, he’s glaring at the tea on the floor like it will burn him again and Hyunjin doesn’t know what to think. He needs to get out of here. He needs silence and space to think because none of this makes any sense to him.
“Vervain.” Hyunjin says it more clearly this time. Protect against vampires. It burned Felix like acid, but it did nothing to Hyunjin. “I’ll be in the living-room.” Hyunjin stutters out before jumping up and exiting the room, accidentally slamming the door in his hurry to get out.
-
Over the next week Hyunjin thinks, and thinks, and thinks, but he doesn’t figure out anything. After days of nothing but research and thinking, he concludes that he can’t figure it out without including Felix. But he can’t just ask Felix, ‘Hey, are you a vampire?’ like it’s nothing. If he’s right, this isn’t the sort of thing you casually bring up in conversation. And given how avoidant Felix is, he would never tell Hyunjin if he turned out to be right.
Hyunjin is only certain of one thing; he is completely losing his mind. Vampires are not real, and he must be insane for even thinking of the possibility. It is fantasy, stories born from fear and made up to explain things people couldn’t make sense of hundreds of years ago.
Despite knowing this, Hyunjin has come up with a plan to test Felix. If he isn’t a vampire, he won’t even know that it was a test, but if he is, Hyunjin will know. He will finally know the truth, putting an end to his overthinking once and for all.
All this time he was worried about Felix’s mental health, but it’s clear that Hyunjin is the one going crazy. Why else would he question if Felix is a vampire?
He still needs to know, so when the sun sets, Hyunjin starts making dinner. They eat after sundown now because Felix won’t come out any earlier. Not that he eats much of anything, but Hyunjin still enjoys their time together on the days he can get Felix to join him.
As Hyunjin hoped, Felix comes out of his room as soon as the sun has left the sky. The sleep is gone from his eyes, but he still doesn’t look entirely alive. Hyunjin mentally slaps himself at the thought, what a crazy thing to think. How could Felix be anything but alive?
“Need help with that?” Felix asks, in one of his good moods. He was out last night, so that is to be expected. Hyunjin looks up at him with a smile, hoping that it hides that Felix is walking right into his trap.
“Sure. You can start cooking the meat and I’ll cut up the veggies.” Hyunjin says, gesturing at where the meat sits. Baked potatoes are already in the oven, and the pork has been sitting in marinade since noon. Felix manages to only look mildly disgusted at the meat in front of him, but he does as he’s told.
Hyunjin’s mind is racing as he gets to work on the vegetables. If this is true, it all makes sense. It explains why Felix avoids the sun, and doesn’t eat, doesn’t seem to have a heartbeat, why his skin is cold to the touch and how he goes out at night in a bad mood and comes home in a good mood. It all adds up, but it is impossible.
With their backs to each other, Hyunjin takes a deep breath, preparing to put his plan into action. He turns around to watch Felix’s back, and before he has the time to hesitate, he slices his palm with the knife, gasping at the pain that sparks up his arm. Felix’s head whips around as he presses himself into the counter, hands gripping the edge too hard. There’s no reason for him to know that Hyunjin cut himself unless he could sense it.
“What are you doing?” Felix says through gritted teeth. He is looking anywhere but at Hyunjin, so tense that it looks painful and holding his breath. For the first time all week, Hyunjin doesn’t feel completely insane. He’s pretty sure that Felix wouldn’t have a reaction like this if he wasn’t right.
“It’s just a cut.” Hyunjin tries to sound nonchalant, but his heart is racing in his chest. Can Felix hear it? Does he smell the blood gathering in his palm? “Can you hand me a towel or something?” Hyunjin asks, testing Felix a little more.
“I... I can’t.” Felix says after a long silence. His eyes are locked on a spot on the ceiling, and he still isn’t breathing. Adrenaline is coursing through Hyunjin’s veins, and he can’t believe that this is happening.
“You got a problem with blood, Felix?” Hyunjin’s mind is racing. He suddenly can’t remember if Felix has been squeamish around blood before, or if this reaction is a new development. Either way, he would have remembered if Felix ever had this strong of a reaction to blood.
Felix shakes his head and moans, looking down like he’s trying to hide his face. His grip on the counter is so strong that Hyunjin is sure it’ll break any second. If he’s right, Felix has gone all day without food, and this is bound to make him hungry.
“What’s the matter?” Hyunjin is pulled closer by curiosity and fear, taking a small step and hearing another whimper leave Felix’s lips. “It’s just a little blood, Felix.” He holds out his hand so the blood is in clear view. Felix’s eyes flicker to Hyunjin’s hand and back down at the floor so fast that Hyunjin barely sees it.
In a split second, Felix has got him pressed up against the fridge on the other side of the room. Hyunjin barely feels them moving, it happens so fast. Felix holds him by the throat, with enough force to keep him in place, but enough self-control that it doesn’t hurt.
“What are you doing?” Felix growls through clenched teeth. Hyunjin notices the fangs, sharp teeth pressing into Felix’s bottom lip, but Hyunjin isn’t scared. There are blue and purple veins moving under Felix’s eyes, and the whites of his eyes have turned red. Hyunjin has never seen anything more beautiful. Maybe that’s a part of the spell to keep their victims complacent, but Hyunjin doesn’t care.
“I knew it.” Hyunjin says to himself, so relieved that he hasn’t lost his mind. He was right, and now that he knows, Felix doesn’t have to hide anymore. Hyunjin lifts his hand, seeing Felix’s eyes darken the closer it gets. “Go for it.” He breathes, giving Felix permission to do whatever he wants.
Felix’s hand wraps around Hyunjin’s, the touch tingling along Hyunjin’s skin. Felix is panting, jaw slack, eyes flickering between Hyunjin’s eyes and his bleeding hand. Hyunjin feels like he’s watching in slow motion as his hand moves closer to Felix’s face, and he can’t tell who is doing it. Then Felix turns his head and bites into Hyunjin’s hand, his eyes closing and a moan slipping out of him like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.
Hyunjin gasps at the feeling of Felix’s teeth piercing his skin. The bite burns, adding to the cut he already had, but the pain is almost good. His body feels like jelly as the blood is sucked out of him, his palm tingling as Felix’s tongue moves over his skin. Felix makes pleasured noises, moans and whimpers muffled by Hyunjin’s hand.
It is over all too soon. Felix detaches himself from Hyunjin’s hand, gasping for air. His eyes are glazed over as he leans in to lick up the blood that’s left on Hyunjin’s palm; the touch so good that Hyunjin trembles a little. Felix’s dazed eyes meet Hyunjin’s, the two of them just looking at each other for a long moment like they don’t know what to do now.
“You idiot!” Felix suddenly snaps out of the trance he was in. His lips are red from the blood, but he looks human again. He is angry, but Hyunjin can tell that it’s just fear. “You could’ve died.” Felix’s voice is weak, like he can’t even bear the thought.
“I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.” Hyunjin has no doubt in his words. He knows Felix could never hurt him, even if he isn’t entirely Felix when he feeds. Hyunjin will always feel safe with Felix, no matter what he is.
“I should have.” Felix says angrily and pushes away from him. The loss of contact is almost painful, like Hyunjin can’t survive without it. “I don’t know how to control this yet; you can’t test me like that.” Felix says, reminding Hyunjin of how new this is to Felix. Hyunjin has no doubt that this is what happened a few weeks ago. This is the big shift, the huge thing Hyunjin was missing.
“You think you could kill me?” Hyunjin sees no point in beating around the bush. This whole situation is too absurd to not say exactly what is on his mind. Felix just stays silent and looks away from him. “Have you… hurt someone?” Hyunjin asks, realizing for the first time what Felix might be doing when he’s out all night.
“No.” Felix is quick to answer. “I only take what I need. And I can make them forget, so they never know that anything happened to them.” Felix explains, and that sounds so much like Felix that Hyunjin can’t help but smile. He’s doing it in the least damaging way, and he probably hates it, but he needs it to survive.
“Can you make me forget?” Hyunjin asks out of curiosity. Maybe this isn’t the first time he’s found out, or maybe he’s been close before, but this is the first time Felix didn’t see it coming, so he couldn’t stop Hyunjin in time.
“Do you want me to?” Felix asks, looking so small. Hyunjin’s heart aches at the thought of rejecting Felix in any way.
“That’s not what I meant.” Hyunjin clarifies. He wants to remember; he wants to know every part of Felix no matter how complicated or unpleasant. This is far from the worst thing he’s found out about Felix, no part of him regrets knowing this.
“I could, but I would never do it unless you ask me to.” Felix says, further proving to Hyunjin that he is still the same person. Hyunjin just found out this huge secret that would have most people running away, but Felix will never take away his freedom like that.
“I won’t.” Hyunjin says confidently. Even if he was terrified and decided he never wanted to see Felix again, he would still want to remember. Forgetting would just leave a hole he could never fill. “Who else knows?” Hyunjin asks, even though there are hundreds of questions he wants to ask more, but Felix doesn’t seem to have all the answers.
“I could never hide anything from Channie hyung.” Felix admits, and Hyunjin laughs. That makes a lot of sense. The biggest clue came from Chan, Hyunjin should’ve known that he wasn’t just adding to the joke.
“That little-” Hyunjin whispers, remembering the words ‘to get the truth’. “He gave me the vervain, said it was good for getting to the truth.” Hyunjin is so mad that he didn’t figure it out right then. Chan flashed it in front of him like a neon sign, but Hyunjin refused to believe it.
“I would love some truth.” Felix says sadly, a deep frown on his face. Hyunjin suddenly realizes Felix has gone through this alone. It must’ve been horribly lonely and confusing to figure this all out on his own when Hyunjin was right next to him the whole time.
“You don’t know?” Hyunjin’s voice is thick with emotion. He instinctively moves closer to Felix, seeking his touch again. There’s no fear, he could never be afraid of Felix no matter who or what he is.
“I have no clue what happened, or who did it, or how, or why.” Felix pulls Hyunjin into a hug, needing the touch too. It strikes Hyunjin how completely Felix he is in this moment, seeking touch like he’s starving for it. Hopefully, things will be easier now that Felix doesn’t have to hide from him anymore.
“We’ll figure it out.” Hyunjin promises, pulling back just enough to see Felix’s face. The veins are dancing under his eyes again, and this time Felix doesn’t look like he’s trying to hide it. “Are you still hungry?” Hyunjin asks, wondering if that is what the veins mean. He wants to draw this, to capture the way they move under Felix’s eyes and make the green specks in his irises stand out.
“Starving.” Felix practically growls, surprising Hyunjin. There’s a new edge to him, a darkness that Hyunjin hasn’t seen before, but it draws him in. He wants to know everything Felix will tell him about this.
“Could you take more?” Hyunjin asks, an idea striking him. He doesn’t know if Felix will accept, but he is more than willing to offer. It would be his pleasure to do this for Felix.
“Technically.” Felix says, looking like he’s carefully choosing his words. “I barely took anything, but I don’t want to hurt you.” He takes a small step back like he’s scared of losing control, but Hyunjin knows that he won’t.
“How much would you need to feel full?” Hyunjin asks, wondering if Felix even knows. If he needs enough to kill someone, he’s probably never felt full. Maybe he’s been to scared to even test it, terrified of losing control and taking a life.
“Enough to make you feel like you’re hungover.” Felix says, surprisingly knowing exactly what he needs. Hyunjin can handle feeling like he has a hangover, it’s nothing he hasn’t done before, and feeding Felix is a much better reason than getting drunk.
“But not enough to kill.” Hyunjin clarifies, and Felix shakes his head. Hyunjin glances down at his hand where the puncture wounds are still visible. “Take more.” He says, offering his hand again. Felix takes another step back, his eyes turning red as he shakes his head.
“I could hurt you.” Felix says, his fangs visible as he speaks. Hyunjin surprises himself by not being scared at all, he has complete trust in Felix, even if he could kill Hyunjin so fast that he never sees it coming.
“Technically, but you won’t. No matter what happened, you are still Felix, and you will never hurt me.” Hyunjin says with complete confidence, still offering his hand. Felix takes a step closer, his hand wrapping around Hyunjin’s. His fingers trace over the wounds as he looks at Hyunjin with hunger. Hyunjin nods, reassuring him that it’s okay.
To his disappointment, Felix lets Hyunjin’s hand drop to his side, but then he’s moving close enough to press Hyunjin up against the fridge again, his hand tugging on the neckline of Hyunjin’s shirt.
“It’s okay, I want this.” Hyunjin says, his voice barely above a whisper. That is all Felix needs to lean in, his lips touching Hyunjin’s neck first. When his fangs sink into Hyunjin’s skin, it barely hurts. He lets out a soft moan at the feeling, not sure if it’s supposed to feel kind of good. Maybe there is something in Felix’s bite that takes away the pain.
Felix goes soft against Hyunjin’s body, all the tension leaving him as he sucks on Hyunjin’s neck, soft sounds leaving him as he drinks from him. Hyunjin feels like he’s in a trance, all of his focus on the feeling tingling through his body. It is unlike anything he’s felt before, so much more complicated than he could ever put into words.
Felix takes his time, probably taking it slow so he won’t lose control of himself. It is such an addicting feeling to put his life in someone’s hands like this. One wrong move and Hyunjin could be dead, but he knows that it won’t happen. He has complete confidence in Felix, and he is proven right when Felix’s mouth lets go of his neck.
Hyunjin feels a drop of blood trail down his collarbone before seeping into his shirt, and he watches Felix watch it. His lips are blood red again, but he eats so cleanly that Hyunjin would never know if he found Felix like this.
“Do you feel better?” Hyunjin asks, and a soft smile spreads on Felix’s face, just like he always has after being out all night. Hyunjin feels proud that Felix looks that way because of him.
“Yeah, thank you.” Felix says, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. His eyes go back to their normal color and the veins under his eyes disappear, like they were never there at all. He’s just Felix now, and Hyunjin is so happy to have him back.
“So… vampire huh?” Hyunjin says in a teasing tone. He can’t help himself. He might be a little drunk on blood loss, but this is nowhere near the discomfort he expected.
“Please don’t make it a thing.” Felix sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes before hiding his face in Hyunjin’s chest.
“I’m not, I just…” Hyunjin trails off. There are still so many questions swirling around in his head, but more out of curiosity than anything else. He thought that he knew everything there is to know about Felix, but this is a new thing to discover, a new part of Felix to get to know.
“Have a lot of questions.” Felix finishes for him. “Yeah, me too.”