Archive of Our Own

“How did you know I was recently divorced anyways?” Grian asked. The divorce with Scar was a new development, something he’d kept hidden from his overprotective parents and friends, he’d tell them sooner or later. Probably sooner if the way Joel and Timmy could sniff him out within ten minutes was any indication. Grian hadn’t even told them his name, letting their Starbucks’s cups introduce them, nor that he was married, let alone divorced.

The two of them had obviously not expected to be asked about their ability to read people. They shared a fleeting glance. Joel eased whatever fear with a large grin that showed all his teeth. Timmy answered with a nod. It left Grian feeling as if he’d been excluded from a conversation amongst friends. It was likely he had, Timmy and Joel had arrived at Grian’s table together in matching faux leather jackets.

At the same time, they faced Grian.

“Lucky guess. You’re a hot fella Grian. I can’t imagine there wasn’t a lucky man in your life. But here you are, with no ring.” Joel shrugged.

Timmy added on to Joel’s answer by pointing to Grian’s ring finger “You twist your finger like you expect a ring to be there! But you don’t have one!” Grian looked down at his own hand. There was a slight dent in his finger where the golden ring had embedded itself into his skin over the years. He didn’t think of the loss of the ring often but now it had been drawn to the front of his mind; his hand felt lighter.

“Thank you Timmy, for actually answering my question.” Grian said. He looked straight at Joel, who raised his eyebrows and shoulders. Grian smiled at Joel’s lack of care over his flirting with a recent divorcee.

“My name’s Jimmy! Not Timmy. Not Tim. Jimmy!” But despite his anger at being called the wrong name, Jimmy relaxed. He grabbed his iced latte and took a sip through the straw,  “Why did you divorce your husband anyways?” he paused for a second before adding on, “If that isn’t rude to ask at all.”

“It says Timmy on your cup.” Grian said. He pointed to the cup where it did in fact, say Timmy. It was an honest mistake caused by the chatter in the café. He looked back at the woman behind the counter. She wore a red jumper and her light brown hair caught the LED light the same way Pearl’s, his sister’s had.  Joel also twisted his head over to watch her before he looked at Jimmy’s cup. Joel burst out laughing. Jimmy twisted his cup around and his mouth dropped open.

“This is embarrassing.” Jimmy said, the words rushing out of his mouth. “But I guess it is a good way to change the topic of conversation if you don’t want to think of the divorce.” He looked at Joel with wide eyes; there was a bead of sweat on Joel’s forehead.

Grian forced his eyes away from his sister’s look alike and laughed. “It’s fine.” Talking about the divorce was a good excuse to not think about how Pearl had blocked his number within hours of leaving his wedding. “We had a falling out.” He confessed, “there’s this myth right, about the Enchanting Table. Scar insisted it was real. We had so many fairy tale books about it, if we saw one in the charity store, we had to buy it, if there was a convention or lecture about myths we had to go see it. He was dead set on its existence and spent all his time looking for it.”  He smiled at the memories and stirred his drink. “Eventually I convinced him to start lecturing on it. I made most of our money but at least he could pay for his own hobbies. I should have dumped him before that really, I just didn’t know how to leave him.”

Joel leant back against his seat, legs and arms crossed, his eyes  rapt on Grian. Jimmy was slowly crawling across the table as if he wanted to taste Grian’s words and understand every little intricacy behind them. “Then why dump him now?” Joel asked.

Grian shrugged, “I’m not sure if it’s top secret information. It looked really professional. I don’t want to tell the wrong people and suddenly have secret services coming and wiping my memories of my ex-husband.”

Jimmy’s eyes widened, “Were you ordered by the government to divorce him?”

“No, I didn’t want to get  involved in whatever court case he got caught up in though.” Grian said. He pushed Jimmy’s face out of his personal space. Jimmy immediately backed off and nodded his head frantically. Joel’s eyes, which had previously been wandering, locked right onto Grian.

“I wouldn’t snitch!” Jimmy jumps in.

Joel held eye contact while Jimmy spoke before he blinked. “The saying is: Snitches get stitches. Right boys?” A grin formed on his face, showing off his rows of sharp white teeth.

Grian shouldn’t trust the two men he’s just met. For one, whatever Scar’s stuck in, it’s official, it isn’t something you share lightly. There was an unease that slithered under Grian’s skin telling him that Jimmy and Joel weren’t who they said they were. But the unease sparked with the promise of adventure; Grian  never could turn down a bit of fun. He trusted his gut and his gut whispered that while Jimmy and Joel were many bad things, malicious wasn’t one of them.

He looked up at the CCTV that looked directly at their table. Grian watched the quiet man in a blue jumper who sat next to them. The café was crowded, no one would overhear unless they wanted to. After being stalked everywhere, he doesn’t trust the men in the black limo haven’t followed him to find out what his coffee order is.

The good news is that months of being stalked means Grian knows how to tell if he’s being followed. “I think we should go outside.” He said. He pulled his chair out and instantly walked towards the exit. The man in the blue sweater looked up as the three of them left; Jimmy and Joel chasing hot on Grian’s heels.

The buzzing under Grian’s skin was set alight every time Joel looked at him. It was different to his instincts regarding danger. It was closer to how Scar made him feel at the beginning. There was curiosity that wanted to bury itself into his brain and know every secret and the knowledge as if the curiosity had dredged up all of Grian’s secrets but finally there was the desire that Grian couldn’t name. Joel didn’t say anything though. He simply gripped Jimmy’s hand, stroking his knuckles. Jimmy would side glance at Joel and knock into his side whenever Grian turned back to the park. Jimmy and Grian didn’t say anything either. The only sound as they walked was their feet hitting the concrete.

They reached the park. Jimmy pushed open the creaky gate, face scrunching at the sound. All three of them shoved their empty plastic coffee cups into the overflowing bins. The sky was darkening, painting the park purple as the sun settled. The dregs of orange that the horizon left behind left enough light that it hadn’t triggered the street lights. Any parents and their kids had left before it got too dark. The only sign of life was the three men and two teenagers. One of the teenagers had hair that resembled a neapolitan ice-cream and the other blond. They both sat atop the monkey bars as they talked.

“Are they gonna be a problem?” Jimmy asked.

Grian shrugged. “They’re teenagers, Tim. The police won’t take them seriously.”

Jimmy bristled at the wrong name. Joel’s lips had curved into a smile as he shrugged, “We could also wipe their memories when we’re done.” Any anger Jimmy had diminished as he stared at Joel in betrayal.

“What?!” Grian said at the same time Jimmy said, “I thought we agreed not to tell him about that till Grian told us about the spies outside his house!”

Grian held both his hands out in their faces. “Do not say anything. What do you mean by ‘wipe their memories?' He asked, staring at Joel. He flipped his head to Jimmy, “And you knew about this?” he shouted in confusion. The two teenagers turned to stare at them but that didn’t concern Grian.

Jimmy raised a finger. Grian lowered his hand, “What Tim.”

“It’s Jimmy, Jim. I thought you’d figured it out. I mean, how else did we know you were divorced.” Jimmy says as if it’s normal. Grian doesn’t even honour him with a reply. A realisation dawned on Jimmy’s face and he lit up. “You didn’t know!” He turned to Joel and exclaimed, “I told you he’d believe it! He generally thought I could tell based on his lack of a ring!”

Joel smiles fondly, “He did also accept my flirting.”

Grian flushes. “You were flirting with me!”

“Yeah.”

“Can you two flirt later? I want to talk about the fact Joel ruined our brilliant plan!” Jimmy whined. He was smiling equally as fondly at Joel though.

Grian took a minute to recompose himself. In the calmest voice he could, he said, “Can we go back to the fact you two were the spies in my house?”

“If that’s what you want babe.” Joel said in place of silence. When Grian did nothing besides raising an eyebrow in response to the non-answer, he added on, “Bad boys call each other babe.”

Grian lowered his eyebrow as he contemplated the new information. Slowly, he went down the checklist to make sure there was nothing he was missing, “You’re the spies in my house.” He said. “You can wipe memories.” It sounded like a bad joke when Grian said it. He doubled checked, “And you’re called the Bad Boys?”

Jimmy nodded along with each statement, “We hunt aliens as well.” He added because that didn’t raise more questions.

“Did you insult our name?” asked Joel, hand pressed against his chest.

“Yeah.”  Grian said. He stepped closer to Joel. “Do you want to know why?” He could feel Joel’s knuckles pressing against the fabric of his red jumper. Grian’s hot breath tickled the hairs on Joel’s necks. The heat of their bodies was unsure whether to jump to one or stay with the other, creating a cycle of a crackling fire. “Because I’m a bad boy.”

Then he pulled away and the coldness of the winter air seemed to sweep away any tension that remained in the group. Jimmy whooped in celebration; he jumped up and down in his glee. Joel let out hearty laughs and for the first time since leaving his ex-husband, Grian felt a face splitting smile form on his face. “Now why don’t you tell me all about that alien hunting business?”

Three days later, Grian’s cheap apartment he’s been living in since divorcing Scar is filled with boxes. Joel laid on the cheap sofa that the old owners had left behind. Grian also plans on leaving the sofa behind. He is still employed at the Watchers Opticians and despite the monotony of it (especially compared to his new paying side gig as an alien hunter) it does pay well. Grian can afford a new sofa if wherever Jimmy and Joel live only offer a couch with springs that dig into his back, if their home offers a couch at all.

“I swear you had more stuff than this.” Joel comments as Grian passes him another photo to put in the box by his feet. “Your furniture was better as well.”

Joel’s familiarity with Grian’s home no longer surprises him.  He rolls his eyes and tells Joel, “I mean, I’ve never had the top end furniture. Jellie had sharp claws and liked to rip everything up if she was in a mood. I never wanted to waste thousands on easily destroyed furniture.”

“Why didn’t you buy a better couch when you moved out then?” Joel moans, “You planned on staying here in the long term and this is what you brought.”

Grian’s about to point out that the sofa and the table and the bed and the curtains all came with the house before he realised that it didn’t matter. He planned on living here for a while. He should have replaced them. Instead he shrugs and lets the conversation move on.

It turned out that their chat had to end soon anyways. Jimmy slams the door open. It hits the wall and the bang reverberates around the entire house. If Grian had winged ears, they’d have puffed up in shock. His shoulders raised as he jumped a centimetre out of his skin. Joel waved at Jimmy andJimmy excitedly waved back.

Jimmy pulled out the black jacket he was holding, it had the same patchwork green, yellow and red hearts that their jackets had. “I got it!” He cheered before throwing it towards Grian and hurrying over. Joel sat up and peered to get a better look. When Grian caught it, he ran his fingers across the fabric. It wasn’t faux leather like he’d assumed, it had the same roughness to it that he’d come to accept as well past his budget.

“You brought this for me?” Grian asked.

“Yeah! We need to look like a team! Try it on, it should fit but I obviously didn’t know your exact size.” Jimmy said. He bounced on his heels. Grian gave a small smile in response and assured Jimmy that he was small, he fit into most clothes. He walked up to the mirror and slid his first arm in. In the side of his view, Joel and Jimmy also stared at him.

The jacket fit snugly on him. With one hand, he traced over the careful stitching. Joel leant on Grian’s shoulder while Jimmy turned the collar up so it cupped Grian’s neck like a guiding hand. Standing there, Grian grinned at how right everything felt.

Jimmy looked at Grian in the mirror and smiled with all his teeth. He nudged Grian in the side with his elbow and said, “You’re one of the bad boys now!”

Grian turned to Jimmy and nodded, “I’m going to do so much bad stuff.” He said with one hundred percent certainty. Grian didn’t need to see the reflection to know that if he could go back in time to any moment to take a picture, it would be then. Where he was surrounded by people he’d make a home with and he was part of a team that only death could break.

The moment passed before Grian could even think about getting his phone out of his pockets. Joel pressed more of his weight onto his left, Grian’s shoulder. Grian stumbled and bumped into Jimmy before settling to also leaning on him. Jimmy pushed back at the same time he moved his arm to prod at Joel, which also meant Jimmy had wrapped his arm around both their waists. Joel shrieked in surprise. Grian doubled over laughing. Jimmy had to wipe away the tears that had in his eyes. Joel removed himself from Grian’s side and grabbed Jimmy from behind, kissing his cheek. That made Jimmy stop laughing so hard he cried. Grian had to step in, which involved loudly declaring his intent to go to the sofa, to prevent Jimmy making out with Joel right there.

They had moved to the sofa before Jimmy turned back to the original task. “Now we have you all kitted out in the uniform. We need to introduce you to the equipment! Between Joel and I we’ll have you whipped up to be an alien killing beast in no time!”

“What about my natural talent? Does that count for nothing?”

Joel laughed, “You’ll need more than natural talent to get to our level. We’ve got practice and talent all wrapped in one. Trust me, you’ll appreciate our help.”

“You’ll be a good teacher then?”

“Yeah. Of course. I’m a professional alien killer and Jimmy’s done the course twice! We know what we’re doing.” Jimmy squawked in anger, crossing his arms. It took one side glance from Joel however for him to keep his mouth shut. Grian wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to know what Jimmy would have said. It seemed like an argument long won but they kept chucking fresh dirt onto the grave, to keep it interesting.

When Joel looked away, Jimmy rolled his eyes. “Well then we’re going to have to find an empty warehouse. You may not care but I’m guessing Grian doesn’t want to get evicted before we can plead his case to the boss. Because I’m guessing gunshots won’t be tolerated.”

“I’d rather not get evicted.” Grian murmured. “Or loose my job. I still have my day job.” Jimmy was silent for a minute as he realised that his new partner in crime didn’t have all the free time in the world. Joel, who had dealt with Grian groaning about it thirty minutes prior, suggested that he quit his job in order to make the time.

Once Grian had refused to quit his job until he knew there’d be some stability in the arrangement Jimmy seemed to realise that Grian was paying for his apartment. “If we stay here,” he clarified, “Joel and I could request money for accommodation to fit into the neighbourhood while actually renting out a warehouse.”

“If you think the boss will fall for that you can make the request. Get off the sofa though, Grian and I need more space.” Joel said.

Jimmy grumbled but once he left to text his boss, there was a noticeable lack of an elbow in Grian’s ribs and he could curl up into the corner seat while only brushing knees with Joel. Jimmy returned with the phone. He didn’t try to reclaim his seat; instead he settled on the floor opposite them. As he made the arrangements, he’d glance up with anger in his eyes but the fire would douse out as soon as he got another text that wasn’t calling him out on the lie.

Thirty minutes later, Joel and Jimmy had enough money to live comfortably for a month. Within the next hour, there was a damp, fungi infested but deserted warehouse. The owner was surprised it hadn’t been picked up for crime already, loudly proclaiming on the phone that as long as he didn’t loose the property he didn’t care about what they got up too.

“That’s got to be against the law.” Jimmy exclaimed as he hung up.

Grian said, “I wouldn’t complain. We are going to be making a lot of noise after all.”

“We’re bad boys after all.” Joel tacked on, “Breaking the law is part of our deal.”

Sixteen hours after the initial call, Joel, Jimmy and Grian had a crate of alien hunting supplies and the keys to a warehouse. Joel opened the door and dust flew outside. They step in at the same time. Grease painted the walls. Chains hung from rafters and the chains had soot dripping off them.

Jimmy coughed and forced a smile onto his face, “It could be worse fella’s, the light could be broken. ” he reached over and flipped the light switch. The lightbulb flickered and sparks flew off and fizzed out on the ground. For one overwhelming moment, a pit lurches in Grian’s gut and like a chasm he thinks the bulb is going to break right there.

It doesn’t. Grian’s shoulders sag.

“Are we going to bring the equipment in now?” Grian asks.

The answer is yes. Ten minutes later they’re groaning as they push the boxes over the bump by the door. Grian’s about to ask what is in the boxes that make them so heavy. Then he remembered that he’ll have to carry what’s in there on a regular basis. He’s not ready to reveal that he isn’t the strongest instantly. But could he have a peak, Jimmy and Joel weren’t looking. He picked up this grey bow like object with a  white box running across it, too small to hold an arrow. Grian held it on the side, gently pushing against the string.

A bang went off and a thin black line shot out right above Jimmy’s head. Jimmy yelped before he ducked and shuffled out of the line of sight. Joel stepped to the side.

“How do I turn this off?” Grian asked sheepishly. He was careful to keep his hand steady. Joel came up at Grian’s side and took his hand. Joel pushed Grian’s finger off the string, their knuckles and skin brushing over each other, until the string snapped back into a straight line.

“Like that,” Joel said.

“Alright. And I’m sorry for nearly taking your heads off.”

Jimmy drew his mouth into a thin line, “I don’t think that the laser crossbow is the right fit for you. It’s unnecessarily complex and not beginner friendly.”

Joel took the crossbow out of Grian’s hand and laughed, “Maybe you just suck at laser guns Jim. It’s okay though. You have other talents.” he nudged Grian, “Let me show you how it’s used.” He placed his finger on the trigger and brushed it down. A small laser shot out and bounced across the walls, turning upwards to cut straight through the chains on the roof. The loop broke, absorbing all the lazer, and the chain dropped so it dangled just above head height.

“How do you do that?” Grian asked.

“Natural talent baby,” Joel said with a wink.

“It’s due to the energy of the lazer. It needs to regain energy otherwise it’s weak and easily absorbed by things like walls. There is more physics to it obviously, like why it bounced off the wall instead of just melting through it. The closest comparison I can think of is an alpha particle. I mean even that isn’t accurate but it’s the closest I can think of right now. I’m sure if Joel had to, he could explain it a lot better.”

“I mean, yeah. I could but you don’t need to understand the science to shoot the laser bow well.”

Grian laughed, “I barely passed my physics so let’s not get scientific on me. Though if there’s anything simpler I could use and that you could explain. So I know how to most effectively use it as a weapon.”

“We can do theory at your house. For now, I think getting you used to the most common weapons so we don’t have a repeat of this disaster is most important. Jim pass over the boxes, we’re starting with the lazer guns.” Joel demanded. He placed the crossbow Grian had picked up into the box, In it’s place, he pulled out a gun from his waist. The holster was leather, much like the rest of their outfits. It became obvious once the gun slipped our that it belonged there, That it was an extension of Joel’s own being.

Jimmy held a gun from the box as if it was a glove that was slightly too large, or perhaps too small. It could fit but it wasn’t attached to him.  “Are you sure? Wouldn’t it be better to do something a little easier to grasp first.”

“Well I’m always going to carry this bad boy around. It wouldn’t harm him to learn the basics.”

It didn’t harm Grian at all. It did, however, nearly blow a hole in the wall of their warehouse. Jimmy had his head in his hands but Joel was positively vibrating. There were several little dials, different pressures and it was frightening how little control Grian had on the weapon. It took a sweaty palm and he could be killing an ally. It didn’t fit in his hand, and sometimes he shifted his hand and it would misfire.

“Joel, honey, I really don’t think that is a good idea.” Jimmy repeated like a broken record. He held a long, sleek blue sword in his hand. Everytime Grian fired he raised it up so it would reflect the beam right back at Grian.

Joel shrugged, “What is a good idea Jimmy? Let him carry around a huge sword before we even know he can hold it?”

“It’d be smarter than teaching him an intergalactic gun. Strength can be trained! We could find a lighter sword!”

“Not in two weeks Jim!”

Grian wanted to sew both of their mouths shut. He covered  his face with his hand and looked at the floor. It was meant to be a sign of disappointment but he couldn’t help but notice the stick of red that was tied up in a bunch. The flammable sticker on the box looked more appealing by the second.

“Joel, I don't want to learn your gun anymore. It isn’t the kind of thing I can work with. My hands sweat way too much. Why don’t we start with something that will be familiar to me. Like some knives made in the same way as Tim's sword. I’m not really a muscle builder.” He stood up straight and scratched the back of his head.

“That could work.” Jimmy said.

Joel nodded, “It would be good to have some diversity in this team. I’m pretty sure we have knives like you described.”

Grian’s eyes lingered on the pack of what he was becoming increasingly sure were dynamite. He’d make sure they got some diversity. After all, swords and guns could only have one target and if Scar was an alien, then the rest of his family were too. Joel and Jimmy hadn’t implied that they knew of Cleo in any of their discussions. It was a good thing he told himself, after all, anyone Cleo fought  had a bad habit of landing in A&E. If they were threatening Scar? Well, being an ex-son-in-law wouldn’t save even Grian from leaving in a body bag.

Stepping into the blistering cold wind but fresh air was heaven, when they had finally left the warehouse. Jimmy stretched his arms out and took an exaggerated breath in. Joel shoved his hands in his pockets and declared, “I’m calling a taxi.”

Grian looked at him blankly, “We walked here with all the boxes. Why do we need a taxi?”

“I’m cold.”

“You’ve always denied me a taxi when I was cold!” Jimmy said

“It builds character. And normally you’re in that fluffy denim jacket instead of your bad boy jacket.”

“You! You steal my jacket!” Jimmy yelled, jabbing Joel in his chest, “It’s not my fault your leather jacket is cold all the time!”

Grian stepped back towards the pair of them. Neither of them had realised he had gone until Grian cut their argument short with, “I called a cab while you two were leaving us in the cold longer by arguing about the cold.”

“Won’t they get suspicious-“ Joel started to speak. He was shut up by Grian’s leather jacket being shoved into his hands,

“To answer your question, we aren’t meeting the driver here. We’re walking to the Mcpuffy’s down the road. If you’re really that cold wear my jacket as well. Or give it to Timmy. I don’t care.”  The jumper Grian wore was a gift from Pearl a few months before they’d cut contact. He had thanked her profusely the day she handed it to him. Ever since, he’d worn it in every weather. Light enough to wear with a loose t-shirt in summer, warm enough to wear with a couple layers in winter. He pulled up the turtleneck and titled his head towards the gate. Jimmy asked if Grian could speak with the sweater on. Grian pulled down the neck and nodded. “It gets wet through with the condensation.”

“Then we’d best get to that taxi fast!” Jimmy said before he broke out into a light jog. Joel sped walked beside him and Grian jogged behind them. The roads were dead empty. The street lights lit up the area but for every nine metres of light there was one blind spot where Grian felt invisible but so full of life. Entering and leaving the light as if the three of them were figments of your imagination.

It ended too soon. They slowed to a brisk walk as the lights gleamed on them, illuminating them. The red logo of the Mcpuffy’s acting as a beacon in the night. The street lights working to keep any danger away. The three of them stood on the pavement besides the car park. Joel leant back against the railing, head tilted to see every car that entered.

A sleek black taxi pulled up beside them. The window rolled down. “Are you Mr Goodtimes?”

“That’s me!” Grian chirped as he opened the door for the back. He slid into the seat on the far side and gave the address. Once everyone was in the car, Jimmy asked.

“Your last name is still Goodtimes?”

Grian shrugged, “I didn’t see a reason to change it. I planned on remarrying him once the court case blew over. I guess it won’t now.”

“Because you’re helping us kill him?”

“Well, if he isn’t dead by the time we’re done with him then he’ll file a restraining order against me.”

“Should we be talking about this in a taxi?”

They all fell silent.

When they left the taxi, Grian tipped the driver way more than he should have. Grian hoped he could buy the drivers silence. That was something that happened in movies right?

They curled in Grian’s queen sized bed. It was eleven, long before sleep would usually claim Grian. Jimmy had one arm stretched across the entire bed. Joel moved in his sleep, shifting the bed every time he breathed. Sleep should have been slipping out of his fingers far longer than usual. The entire predicament was uncomfortable.

But it was warm and Grian was used to sleeping with arms around him, hugging him tight against his husband’s chest. The blanket either disposed of at their feet or wrapped tightly around them. Jimmy and Joel weren’t the same. They tried to keep their space in the first half an hour before they slept. It wasn’t Scar but it wasn’t a hot water bottle clutched in his chest and it wasn’t thoughts running through his mind about emails that could wait a couple of hours. It was exhaustion that sunk deep in Grian’s bones. Between one blink and the next, eight hours passed.

Grian cooked breakfast at eight o’clock every morning for the two weeks he had been living with his two roommates. He had discovered on day two that Jimmy couldn’t cook and normally just dealt with his burnt food. Since Jimmy only cooked for one person, Grian had assumed Joel was fine and cooked for Jimmy once he’d been banned from the kitchen. It’d been hopeful thinking. Joel had in fact, been hiding breakfast bars. Thus, before leaving to work, Grian cooked sausages if he was in a good mood, otherwise he’d shove toast and butter on the table and go wake them up.

Politics was the usual talk for the morning. The eight o’clock news always hummed in the background. When they caught an odd word, they’d joke about the bizarre nature of the world. President Etho had posted about an alien being his tutor when he was teenager. The old blog post had been found and Etho was trying to defend his honour as a logical leader. Grain found the irony in how aliens really did exist. Joel tacked on that the public wasn’t meant to know about aliens. Jimmy suggested that maybe aliens were funding Etho’s campaign in exchange he didn’t reveal them. They’d all laughed.

One morning, Joel asked, “Did you ever cook breakfast for Scar?”

Grian finished eating his toast before he answered, “Scar was really picky. He had to cook for himself because he had a number of highly specific allergies. He checked every item and I never forgot but he was scared I would.”

“How severe were the allergies?” Joel pushed.

Scar had an allergic reaction three months into dating Grian. They’d gone to a restaurant and ordered a sharing platter. They hadn’t moved in yet and despite Scar warning Grian when they ordered the dish that he had an allergy to puffer fish, Grian hadn’t understood exactly how dire the allergy was. That was until he dipped some of the puffer fish into the sauce without realising. Five minutes later, Grian’s heart was in his mouth, blood threatening to pour out from his lips alongside his pleas for forgiveness.

He was sitting in the ambulance while Scar’s vitals plummeted and several doctors worked every magical trick they’d ever learnt. Had Grian been allowed to hold Scar’s hand it would have been white from how hard he would have gripped it. Thirteen hours later in the waiting room, the paramedics said that Scar was extremely lucky to have digested so little but he was open to visitors. Between his sobs, Grian asked Scar when he woke up if every one of his allergies were this severe.

“Contact with any of his allergies would be lethal if he didn’t get immediate and competent help.”

“What if he had been injured as well?”

“What are you thinking Joel?” Jimmy asked. “I mean, we can try and stab him and then offer him food he’s allergic to but I don’t think it would work.”

“Well of course that wouldn’t work!” Joel scathed after a minute of thinking. If Grian hadn’t been living with him for weeks he wouldn’t have known Joel genuinely did think that would work. Grian snorted.

“Do you have an idea, Grian?” Jimmy asked once Grian had calmed down from a tiny burst of laughter.

“Why don’t we just add some puffer fish filled sauce on top of some normal weapons? He stubbed his toe once. Even if it won’t kill any of his alien family it’s still going to do some damage.”

Jimmy nodded and Joel took a long sip of his coffee while he thought the idea over.

“Does anyone here know how to cook puffer fish?” Joel asked.

Jimmy said, “You need a licence to serve it, probably buy it as well. Unless Grian here has one it’d be too long even if we did learn.” 

They fell into silence again as they mulled it over. Grian forked the crumbs of his jam toast to excuse himself for not already leaving for work. The clock ticked forward, like a countdown to his impending doom at Watcher Emporium.

“Why don’t we think it over while we go about their day. Since I still work a normal day job.” Grian said after another five minutes had passed. If the traffic was anything but good he’d be late. He stood up and left the kitchen, grabbing his leather jacket and slipping it on. He checked his door keys were still in the pockets before opening the door.

The door wasn’t closed when Jimmy and Joel began to fight about who had to wash up. Grian hovered outside, listening to them with a content smile before he slammed the door shut, which let his roommates know he heard them, and was beginning his walk to work.

Grian goes straight to the warehouse that night, as ordered by a message from Jimmy. The Emporium acted as middle grounds which meant he was able to make it to the warehouse before Joel blew his phone up for dawdling. He pushed open the metal door, wincing at the familiar sound of squeaking hinges. “Did you guys come up with an idea?” His voice echoed across the halls. The lights were off and for a minute Grian was about to back off.

A blue sword was held up to his neck and the lights began to flicker on. Jimmy’s face was illuminated, his face already lit up with a smile.

Grian’s eyes flicked between Jimmy and Joel, who stood by the light switch. He hesitantly pressed his hand against the sword, his skin hovering a few centimetres away in case it was toxic to humans. He looked up at Jimmy before he moved his hand the final inch so his thumb was pressed against the blade and curled his fingers across Jimmy’s sword. He pushed it away from his neck. Only then did Grian sag from relief.

“Did I scare ya!” Jimmy asked.

“You held a sword to my throat!”

“Yeah! But were you scared?”

“Yes! Geez Tim, When is holding a sword to someone’s throat not scary?!”

“That’s what I told him.” Joel added in with a shrug, “But that made Jim’s entire point. Anyways I think it’s a great way to introduce you to what you’re learning today!”

Grian’s pitch raised in fear, “Murdering me?”

Jimmy took several steps back before he grabbed a sword and handed it over to Grian. Jimmy adjusted each of Grian’s fingers until they were holding the sword properly. Grian’s hand felt sweaty against the sword and he wasn’t sure how much of it was from the stress of thinking he was about to be murdered and how much of it was because Jimmy’s hands were boiling hot and how the callouses in his hand seemed to curve for Grian.

“Sword fighting.” Jimmy corrected. “I’m not the best but, I’m sure I can teach you the basics in case one of the aliens pulls a sword from their inventory or something.”

Joel rolled his eyes, “Don’t put yourself down like that Jim. You’re the best we’ve got and I’m sure Grian won’t die because you forgot how to do the specific parry that comes up once in a blue moon in exams.” He reassured before kissing Jimmy on his cheek. Jimmy flushed and scratched the back of his neck.

“I did scare Grian last night. We’ve all seen his reflexes.”

“That! Was because I was tired from work! But I mean, I generally believe you could kill me if you wanted too.”

“Good. Because we’re using foamed swords and I’m going to keep pretending to kill you until you’re able to fight back. I’ll be correcting you as we go along.”

Grian tilted his head and stuttered, “Is that a good way to teach someone to sword. I thought I would use knives anyways-WOAH!” Jimmy swung the sword right at Grian’s neck. He ducked and holy moly he had not realised the sword Jimmy was holding at him was fake.

“Is my sword fake?” Grian yelled, looking over at Joel with wide eyes.

Joel laughed, “Why would your sword be fake?”

Grian nodded in understanding. He screamed. Jimmy swung his sword right into Grian’s side in his hesitation . The worst part was that he had seen it coming.

It took five minutes for Grian to regain his bearings. His hand adjusted to the handle. For the first time, he was able to push the sword away from his chest. Jimmy’s smile widened at the recognition that Grian had finally ignited a  passion to beat him. Grian took the second of hesitation to swipe against Jimmy’s chest. Jimmy jumped backwards and Grian twisted his wrist and jabbed it forward.

The sword knocked Jimmy down onto the floor. Had the sword been metal, it would have pierced through Jimmy killing him.

Jimmy’s smile only got brighter. He dropped his sword and Grian let his clatter to the floor. Grian offered Jimmy a hand and Jimmy laughed. “You aren’t getting me caught off guard like that again!”

“You’re not.” Joel confirmed. “Unless you kiss him but you have to get  close enough to do that. He stops responding if it’s a common tactic as well.”

Jimmy flushed bright red. Grian smirked and bluntly ignored Jimmy as he told Joel, “I’ll have to give it a try.”

“It’s not going to work! Not if I’m expecting it”

Grian winked before he picked up his sword and tried to strike at Jimmy. The time for Grian to move was warning enough for Jimmy as he reached for his sword and blocked the attack. They swapped attacks back and forth. Grian gets a cut in here and there but Jimmy is relentless, for every cut Grian makes, Jimmy makes two more. Every lunge Jimmy takes ends with a second successful hit if the initial attack fails. A droplet of sweat drips down Grian’s face but even while he pants he doesn’t stop guarding, parrying and advancing. When he’s at Jimmy’s side he presses a kiss to Jimmy’s cheek.It’s too quick to think about  properly because as soon as he’s felt the warmth of Jimmy’s skin, Grian is backtracking, readying for the next attack.

Jimmy is back on form within a second but he waits for Grian to move. When Grian doesn’t, Jimmy asks, “If you weren’t going to attack me why’d you kiss me?”

“Maybe I wanted to prove that I could? Maybe I wanted to-“ Grian was slammed to the floor, Jimmy standing over him

“First rule of sword fighting. Don’t get distracted.”

“Right.” Grian said. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and took a minute to gather himself. Once he felt as if he could stand up again, he adjusted his grip on his sword and slowly raised his arm. Jimmy stepped on his wrist.

“That was smart.” He said, “If I didn’t keep an eye on you, you could have cut my legs! Then I’d have been a goner.”

Grian winced, “Yeah well you caught me,” Jimmy placed more weight on Grian’s wrist, “Okay, I get it. Get your stinky foot off. I can smell the cheese from here.”

Jimmy instantly removed his foot, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Grian forced himself to smile on his face, “It’s fine Jim. What you would do in a real fight and all that.”

“Right right!”

Joel walked over to them, “I’m going to call a taxi. That fight will leave nasty bruises in the morning. Jim get some ice on Grian, they’re going to leave nasty bruises.”

As if Joel’s words made the pain spike, Grian could feel the ache deep in his bones. He sagged in relief when Jimmy placed a chemical cold pack onto the worst of his bruises.  The coolness felt as it it was extracting the pain right out from him.

“What is in that?”

“Chemicals, they’re causing an endothermic reaction, which is why it’s cold. I’m sure I could find out the precise ones if you care that much.”

“It’s been years since I took chemistry. I barely remember what endothermic is, let alone what the individual chemicals will do.”

There was a moment of silence before Jimmy admitted, “I failed chemistry my first time round.”

Their heart to heart was ended by Joel poking his head around the door and announcing the taxi was here. He grabbed a spare ice pack before going back to the taxi. Grian pushed himself off the hard floor. He and Jimmy walked together into the night, heading towards the pair of flashlights that bounced off of the open door to the taxi.

At the next dinner, Grian refused to train with the sword for at least a week. He mixed the mash potato on his plate, “What do you guys know about the Enchanting Table?” It wasn’t that Grain hated having small talk with his boys, or large talk as Joel would call the usual politics and jokes. It was the opposite. The constant time spent with them was doing something funny to Grian’s perception of Joel and Jimmy and making his heart flutter. The flirty teases thrown his way made his ears red hot, Joel and Jimmy had asked him if he was okay with it, and Grian was! He really wanted his bed back though! He didn’t know if he could share with the two of them one more night before he lost his mind.

So, work was the discussion topic for tonight.

Joel, never falling for it, said, “This sounds like a reason to do a ton of exposition to me.”

“Am I not allowed to focus on the reason you’re leeching off my housework? Scar found the enchanting table fascinating, Cleo and Bdubs loved it as well. It could be important.” The words came out a little harsher than expected. Grian swallowed down an apology. Even if he did enjoy their constant presence and how it made parts of him want to chain the two down with him. His feelings didn’t distract from the mission. 

Jimmy clicked his tongue, “Our boss mentioned it. She heard a lot of it from her family. They really liked myths apparently.” 

“Oh yeah!” Joel chimed in, “She always learnt them for the family! Like how the enchanting table isn’t magic itself. It’s the book within it that’s magical. Imagine every part of physics and chemistry controlled by some old runes. Except it’s not physics and chemistry because runes can’t change the course of the universe.” 

Grian stated, “So it’s not the enchanting table we’re looking for really. It’s the book. If we find the book, we find the runes, we read the runes, we find out why it’s so important to the aliens!”

“Then why is the table more important than the book?” Jimmy asked.

“It’s old Tim. What happens to old things?”

“They disintegrate. What does that have to do with anything?”

“The table doesn’t. It keeps the book safe. Which means… I might know where to find it! We could use it to bait Scar!” Joy swept through Grian. He stood up from the table and began to pace around the kitchen, mumbling to himself.

Joel propped his elbows onto the table and watched Grian intently. Jimmy had turned his face back to his plate but he couldn’t hide how he kept flicking between the food and Grian. Jimmy broke first, “How, do you plan to find the enchanting book?”

“We find the table!”

“Yeah, obviously. Where’s the table?”

“I don’t know! But it’s a lot easier to find a table than it is to find a mythical object that only exists in legend!” Grian threw his hands in the air. “I’ll take tomorrow off work and do some googling. Historians should be mad about this table, and if we find the table, we find the book.”

Joel nodded, “We could go to the library. That way we can get three times the research done at the same time.”

“Or we could do it on our phones here, so we could communicate any findings. I mean, not that passing secret notes isn’t cool but we could potentially spend five hours on the same website.” Jimmy suggested.

“Timmy’s probably right. We’d run out of paper sooner or later.”

No one had anything to add onto that, they fell back into silence. Grian pushed his food around. His appetite seemed to have vanished as the plan of attack finally began to fall into place. Joel and Jimmy began to chat again, or maybe they were flirting, the difference had began to blur in his mind the longer he spent with them. Every couple of minutes, Jimmy would turn and look at Grian. Grian swallowed the nothingness in his throat as he didn’t add anything onto their conversation. The sixth time Jimmy pleaded with him to break the vow of silence, Grian ate a mouthful of the meal. It tasted like ash.

Waking up the next morning, wrapped in the blankets Joel normally hoarded, Grian felt much better. He squashed his face into the pillows and prepared to argue why they should stay in bed the entire day. It was Grian’s day off, they were in his house and they could complete research from the bed,he’d be able to make his case. In the meantime, he rolled over to stare at the back of Jimmy’s head. Jimmy didn’t have long hair. He’d explained to Grian that it was best for it to be short, lest an alien pulled off his hair midst battle. His boss had realised the risk after her puppy had chewed her braid. The regulation hadn’t said anything about thick hair. So while Grian couldn’t do one long plait, he did several small ones, scattered across Jimmy’s head.

Joel woke up and sat up. He looked over at where Grian was braiding Jimmy’s hair and whistled lowly. “He’s not going to like that.”

“Why not?”

“He’s not going to notice. Then when he brushes his hair he’s going to think it all got tangled.”

“But surely when we start laughing?”

“He won’t realise and we’ll both wake up tomorrow with huge knots in our hair. I’ve tried it before. It’s not worth it.”

“So we just tell him when he wakes up.”

“That ruins the fun.” Joel whined, dragging each word out longer than it needed.

Grian wanted to kiss him, “I’ll learn from your mistakes.” He said, smiling so hard that he could barely see. Joel rolled his eyes but didn’t try to argue. Joel laid his head back on the pillow and brought his phone over to the bed. The light was harsh in contrast to the rays of sun that escaped through the faulty blinds.

“What are you looking up?” Grian asked.

“I figured I’d start our research early.”

“Would that mean you were happy to do all our research in bed? I’m comfortable.”

“Ask Jimmy. I just don’t want to wake him up.”

As if on cue, Jimmy shuffled around the bed, kicking Joel in the knee and shaking free most of the braids. Grian held his hand to his mouth to stop himself from laughing too hard. Joel didn’t every try to smother himself, barking out a laugh so hard it could have wakened the neighbourhood. It didn’t wake Jimmy.

“Do you want to make breakfast? Then we can wake Tim and start researching?” Grian asked, already having swung his legs over the bed. He looked at Joel, waiting for him to join him in the kitchen.

Joel took the blanket Grian had been under. “I think I’ll continue to research.”

Joel hadn’t moved when Grian came back with three slices of toast, balanced on three different plates in between his fingers. Jimmy was awake and looking over Joel’s shoulder to see his phone until he heard Grian’s footsteps. He turned to look at Grian and got up as soon as he saw the precarious position of the food. He tried to grab a plate only for Grian to swerve out of the way.

“It’s like Jenga Tim!” Grian exclaimed, “I know how to put these down. You don’t. But sure, take the plate of toast the other two are balancing on! That won’t lead to my feet being covered in butter and your toast having the dirt on the carpet stuck to them!”

“I could play Jenga!”

“You’re missing the point Timmy.” Grian said as he slid the top plate onto the bedside table. With his free hand, he took the second plate and handed it to Joel and Jimmy. He took the plate on the table and sat on the edge of the bed, “Was that so hard now?”

Joel laughed and bit into the toast. Jimmy pulled of the crust and ate it alone before touching the meat of the bread. Despite living with Jimmy and being used to this, Grian couldn’t stop the shocked face he made at the sight. Jimmy stared at him with wide eyes as if he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

Grian left the bedroom.

Joel laughed harder.

They forgot to tell Jimmy about the braids in his hair. It hadn’t seemed important when they all collapsed on the sofa, in sweaters and sweatpants and their hair unkempt. Joel was scrolling down the ipad reading out blog titles, uploaded webinars and available speeches. He read each one out.

“Mythology and Legends?”

“Read it.”

“Top 10 books you need to read about the enchanting table.”

“Read them all.”

“Five hour video essay about the enchanting table.”

“One of the first things I watched.”

“Part two to the five hour video doing corrections with additional information.”

Grian stared at Joel. Joel sighed, “Right, watched it,”

“What about the Cambridge professor’s lecture? The professor teaches classics.”

“Scar dragged me there. Though granted it wasn’t the first talk we went to.”

“My personal blog’s theories on the crafting table?”

“Not a reliable source. Skip anything by them.”

There was silence as Joel scrolled through the searches that had become exclusively by “My personal blog”.

“Did you know the enchanting table would probably kill anyone who carved any of its runes into their skin?

“I thought that was obvious? Haven’t you ever seen the runes there? they have to run deep.”

“We can’t all be as knowledgeable on the Enchanting Table as you!”

Grian laughed, “I guess not. Carry on researching, we’ll find something new eventually.”

“Hey Grian, do magical objects ring a bell.”

“Yes. It’s nothing you wouldn’t find in an old article.”

“I think this would be easier if I worked backwards.”

“Probably.”

“So, I found an enchanting table on Amazon for ninety nine pence. Do you think we could just fool Scar with that?”

“No.”

“Enchanting and all you have to know about it?”

“…I’ve read that.”

“A university lecture recorded on someone’s phone. It’s titled: He thinks this exists LOL.”

“Watched it.”

“He ALSO thinks THIS exists. It’s not faked by the way.”

“Enchanting table was just in the key word section.”

“Mr GoodTimes does a speech with National Ancient History… hey. Grian this was published today.”

Grian looked up. Jimmy’s head popped up from where it was hidden by the laptop. “Is that a joke Joel? It’s not a funny one.” Jimmy said.

“Nope. Completely serious. I’ll send you the link.”

Jimmy and Grian’s phones buzzed at the same time as the message went through.

Grian clicked on the link Joel sent him. A picture of the National History Mueseum, a frequent day trip for him and Scar was on the front page. He only had to scroll for two seconds for a large photo of Scar to show up.

Scar hadn’t aged a day from when he’d dated Grian while Grian had earned some bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep that built up over months. Stress had made a deeper effect on his face, although he’d mostly been able to raise his sunken cheeks. He had a scar on his ring finger from picking up a sword wrong.

Scar hadn’t used an old photo but his face was just as it had been when they divorced. No new scars lined the top of his hands. Stress and age hadn’t made a lasting impact on him. Thinking back on the years spent with Scar, Grian wasn’t sure he’d ever changed at all.

Someone placed their hand on Grian’s shoulder. He flinched and the hand left his shoulder. “Sorry.” Jimmy said.

Grian turned to Jimmy, who’s eyes were looking anywhere but Grian, and said, “Hey I don’t mind. It’s just a bit of a shock seeing him after all this time.”

Jimmy slowly met Grian’s eyes. He was prepared any second, at any sign of annoyance, to back away. When Grian did nothing but stare blankly at him, he regained his confidence. “I was just thinking. If seeing Scar will make you vulnerable, then I’d rather you don’t go. I’d prefer for you to be safe.”

“I’m not going to freeze up at the sight of my ex!”

Joel nodded in agreement, “We’re not saying you will. But that doesn’t mean that if it comes down to killing him, you’ll actually be able to do it.”

Grian lowered his eyes, “I haven’t spent hours training with weapons just to wimp out. Either way, this trip isn’t to kill Scar we’re just figuring out what he knows about the enchanting table. That way his months of research ahead of us isn’t the end of the world on this chase we’re doing apparently.”

“Right…” Joel said, “But we are going to kill him. He’s an alien. I’m not going to do years of research for a myth that might not exist. The opportunity basically fell into our hands.”

Grian bit his lip. He hadn’t forgotten, it was just that with all his efforts focused on the enchanting table, it had slipped his mind. Joel stared at him, waiting for a ‘I’m not doing this’ or a ‘there must be another way.’ He could have also been waiting for an eager yes. 

Grian guesses that’s what he gave him. 

He pushed himself out of his seat and grabbed his head, their foreheads were touching and all Grian could see was Joel. He gave Joel a second to push him away before he tilted his head. Grian kissed Joel. 

It wasn’t long. It didn’t leave Grian grabbing Joel’s hair desperately or aching for more that instant. They didn’t pull far away, Joel was so close that Grian could see every hair on his face. Joel was flushed red, though it would seem like pink dust at a distance. They smiled. Grian wasn’t running short of breath, he could do it again and all Joel would have to do was say the word.

“Did that convince you?” Grian whispered. Had he been louder, he might have been at risk of being too loud. 

Joel smirked, “I don’t know. Maybe you should do it again? Just to make sure.”

Maybe Grian would. He couldn’t have Joel doubting-

“Do you guys want me to leave?” Jimmy asked. Grian’s head whipped around. Jimmy was standing by the door and slowly inching closer to the exit. Grian shook his head lightly. He turned to Joel and told him to give him a second. 

Grian climbed off of the sofa and walked up to Jimmy. Once Jimmy was in grabbing distance, Grian tugged Jimmy towards him by the wrist. “I don’t know why you didn’t think you were included.” 

Jimmy blushed. Unlike Joel who barely went pink, Jimmy’s entire face went bright red from a tease. Grian couldn’t wait to see what he looked like when he kissed him. He let go of Jimmy’s hand and cupped his face. He was further away than he had been with Joel. He could trace every inch of Jimmy’s face with his eyes and Grian wanted to burn it in his memory even though he saw the face everyday. 

“May I?” Grian asked. 

Jimmy nodded. 

Kissing Joel had been like the rain. It was waiting for the thunder, for the lightning, for when things got intense. Only for it to stay light and airy, the kind of rain you take a walk in. Kissing Jimmy was like the flowers in spring. Grian rubbed a circle in Jimmy’s cheek and Jimmy leant into the kiss. 

They pulled away and weren't coming up for a breath. It was as if Grian had smelt the roses and was now taking them in to appreciate them. 

“...wow.” Jimmy said after a minute of every sitting and standing in silence. “I mean. That was better than I expected. Not that I was expecting something bad.” 

Joel raised an eyebrow, “You weren’t expecting a good kiss, babe?” 

“I haven’t been flirting with him since day 1! I thought all that: ooh what if we dated Grian was just about how you felt!” 

“Why would it be?” 

Grian cut in before Jimmy could respond, “Why didn’t you just ask me!” Neither of them could answer that. Grian rolled his eyes, “Well. If it won’t be a problem I would like to formally date you, and instead of sleeping in the same bed as ‘friends’ or whatever, we can act like you two got your act together.” 

“It depends on what my babe wants.” Jimmy said, staring at Joel. 

Joel laughed, “Babe, we all want this. Let’s not make it a question.” 

Grian said, “I’m not calling either of you babe.” 

“Aw, but that’s what the bad boys call each other.” 

“Surely it’s badder of me to not play by our bad boy rules?” 

“We’ll work on getting you to say  babe.”

“It depends if our first date goes well. Which is going to Scar’s talk. We can go get starbucks after.”

“Looking forward to it.”

The Ancient History Museum was a thirty minute walk if they went quickly, though after months of running to a McPuffy’s for a taxi, a walk was nothing. Jimmy held Joel’s hand and they swung their hands up and down in the air as they walked. Grian walked behind, wearing Jimmy’s jacket because Jimmy found it too hot (Grian’s own, with his old ring in the pocket,  was in the small bag they’d brought with their alien supplies, along with some seafood to ‘snack’ on. Apparently Jimmy couldn’t stand the thought of his jacket getting crumpled and Grian wasn’t going to refuse his jacket when it smelt like Jimmy.)

The doors to the museum loomed over them. Grian moved next to Jimmy and Joel when they reached the large stairs. He pulled out his phone and held up the barcode that showed they’d paid for their tickets. The woman grinned and let them in. 

“What row are we in?” Grian asked as they got in. “I know we booked the near the aisle in case Scar tries anything alienish but?” 

“We’re not near the front. Don’t worry, you’ll get to scream: FBI! STOP WHERE YOU ARE!” Jimmy said, nudging into Grian. Grian gasped in surprise and elbowed Jimmy back before laughing. 

“I’d never say that.” 

“Good. Because I always get to say that!” Joel said. They walked up the stairs and took their seats. 

The man next to Grian, who was stuck furthest from the stairs, had white hair that was kept out of his face by a black headband. His mouth, nose and neck was covered by a black mask. Grian narrowed his eyes as he looked at the man closer. 

The man turned to Grian, “Can I help you?” he asked. 

“Are you President Etho?” Grian asked before he could stop the stupid words from leaving his mouth. Maybe the President would show up if he wasn’t you know, currently president and being watched by every news station out there. 

The man looked at him critically before he offered his hand, “I am! And you must be Grian! Scar’s told me so much about you! Or he’s told Bdubs and Bdubs told me, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope the divorce isn’t treating you too badly.”

“It, it isn’t treating me badly. You know Bdubs?” The words seemed to rush out of Grian’s mouth. How far did Scar’s influence run if his brother knew the president?

“Scar didn’t tell you?”

“Scar didn’t tell me what?” Grian asked. 

Etho shrugged, as if the fact Grian’s husband had kept his relationship with the president a secret wasn’t a big deal. “I’m dating Bdubs.”

Grian had to be careful to make sure his mouth didn’t drop to the floor. “Oh.” was all he said, “I didn’t know that.” 

Etho sighed, “I’ll talk to Scar afterwards. Let’s allow him to have some peace before the show. I heard he’s discovered something that will change how we see the enchanting table myth.”

“Yeah. Let’s not freak Scar out,” But Grian’s actual feelings were, let’s not alert Scar to our presence so he can make an escape plan like the slippery slug he is. He grinned and looked away from the president. Grian kept his eyes firmly planted on the stage in front of him. 

The lights started to dim as Scar stepped onto the stage five minutes later. A spotlight followed his every stride. Grian’s eyes narrowed on the old pinstripe trousers and purple waistcoat he wore at every formal event. He had control on the stage. Scar truly believed that everything was going to go his way. Scar looked up, right at the stands where Grian and Etho sat. A chasm opened in Grian’s chest because there was no way Scar hadn’t seen him. Grian turned around to try and ask Joel and Jimmy if they saw the stare. 

The auditorium had gone so dark that Grian couldn’t see the bad boys. Anything beyond his nose and Scar in the limelight had vanished. 

“Why hello there! My fellow miners and crafters who have travelled far and wide to come and hear about my amazing discovery regarding the ancient artefact: The Enchanting Table!” Scar spoke with a passion that demanded to be heard. Grian’s eyes widened as Scar continued to talk. It was all information he’d learnt over the years, a recap for anyone coming for the first time but he felt wonder akin to discovering magic as a fantasy concept as a kid. 

“Now, my family and I have spent years searching after this magical table! We’ve spoken to professionals, gone to the architect sites of where its existence has been recorded. I would not be able to do this speech without my family, friends and those who believed in me and this table's existence. It’s because of these wondrous people I can show you all, the greatest historical discovery of the century! For the first time ever!” 

Scar pulled a black cloth off of what had appeared to be a box. A second spotlight flicked on to show a black table. It wasn’t smooth and certainly not the kind of table you would eat on. There were no legs, just one large block of obsidian. A blue crystal, diamonds, reflected the light, scattering blue light across the auditorium. A satin red cloth laid across the box. 

What demanded the most attention  was the leather bound book. Scar was further than an arms distance away but it still opened. It flicked through the pages before it stopped on a double spread. The book then raised itself into the air and hovered there. 

The crowd roared. Etho and Jimmy stood up from their seats and clapped hard. Grian followed their lead but clapped with less vigour. Joel gave a round of applause. Someone in the crowd cheered from joy so loudly that they deafened half the applause. 

It was only once this had all happened that Scar stepped closer to the enchanting table. “Now wasn’t that magical folks! Magic that we once thought was confined to fantasy has now been brought into the real world! If you are still in doubt of this art, after all, we see magic such as this done on TV all the time, well let me prove it to you!” Scar whipped a knife out of his waistcoat and held it up to the audience. “Now does anyone have a watch! A necklace perhaps or maybe a ring I can borrow?” 

Grian raised his hand. Scar looked around the auditorium but stopped when he saw Grian. 

“The man in the red sweater and black jacket! What have you got!” 

“I have a ring.” 

The show stopped for a second. Scar bit the inside of his lip thought it would be unnoticeable to anyone who didn’t know Scar well. The business man grin returned to his face as quickly as it had vanished and Scar laughed, “Not a wedding ring I hope!” 

“It’s an old one.” Grian said with a shrug though he smiled with all his teeth. Their old ring he didn’t have to say. 

“W-Well let’s come on down!” 

Grian dug the ring out from his jacket’s pocket and grabbed an explosive from the alien hunting gear. He hid both in Jimmy’s jacket pockets. He stepped over Jimmy and Joel’s legs, winking at them as they whispered, “Good luck.” to him. Etho was also staring at him. He kept his steps down the stairs slow, letting each step echo in the museum. 

On the stage, Grian looked at Scar face to face for the first time since the divorce. He shone in the limelight, the streaks of silver in his hair glittering. He fished the ring out of his pocket and handed it to Scar without a word. 

The alien ran his fingers over the engraving in the ring. He stared at Grian with a sadness that didn’t fit in with the buzz that came with the power of having thousands of people hanging onto your every word. 

“What sort of enchantment would you like on this ring? Such a fine gentleman as yourself must have had a loving partner to give you such a treasure. Do you want an enchantment that will keep the ring fresh just like your love?” 

Grian raised his eyebrows and folded his arms, “I divorced the man who gave me that ring. He kept too many secrets from me.” 

Scar laughed. It was a loud laugh but a pitch too high. “I didn’t ask about your love life, though if you need a new man I’m sure I could treat you better. Let me prove it to you, what enchantment do you want?” 

“You can make it glow.” 

Scar nodded and flicked over a page in the book. He then raised the knife to the audience and slowly began to carve a rune from the enchanting table into the ring. The detailing was displayed on the projector behind Scar. Each move was careful and the knife carved every curve. 

The ring began to shine. At first it was dim but soon it was brighter than the sun. The pitch black of the auditorium turned a blinding white. Grian screwed his eyes shut and silently prayed he hadn’t  blinded several innocent people. The light began to close back in on itself, folding over until it was a small ball of light that encircled the ring. Grian opened his eyes to see the room as if the main lights had been turned on and no one was screaming about being blind. 

The audience started to clap when Joel stood up from where he sat. The laser gun in his hands aimed at Scar. “Drop the knife and put your hands on your head. You’re under arrest by the Supernatural Association for disturbing magic!”

Scar froze. He turned to Joel and snarled. 

Jimmy stood up next to Joel. “All citizens please evacuate the building! Out the emergency exit!” Before he pushed past Joel and began to help the audience leave the building efficiently. 

Grian paused for a second before he tacked Scar onto the floor. Scar’s head bounced on the floor but he didn’t even wince from pain. Grian landed on Scar’s chest. He pulled out the stray piece of TnT in his pocket and held it up for Scar to see.

Scar tried to push Grian off to no success. Grian kept one hand steady on Scar’s chest and pushed with all his strength anytime Scar tried to move. Scar moved his hand, desperate to grasp the TnT. Grian stepped on his wrist and sat up to kneel on Scar instead.

“You’re involved in this?!” Scar yelled. His face seemed to twist in the betrayal. Both his eyes seemed to get narrower until they beaded like a snake’s. His nose also shrank in on itself to make room for the large smile forcing itself onto Scar’s face. He smiled and Grian could see the sharp edge to every tooth. 

Grian reached into the inside pocket, where Scar always kept his lighter, and smiled, “I found some bad boys who treat me better.” He flicked the lighter and watched as the small flame ignited with a far away look in his eyes.

“That will blow up both of us!” Scar’s voice rocked the auditorium. 

Grian didn’t honour Scar with a response. He held the lighter up to the pack of dynamite and watched as the fuse caught light. As soon as it began to sizzle, Grian pushed himself off Scar and scampered to the other side of the stage. He held his hands to his ears as-

BANG. 

Scar’s scream was guttural. Yellow flesh peeled off him and an orange liquid seeped from his chest from the worst of wounds. An organ (at least that’s what Grian assumed it was) snaked out of the hole in Scar’s body and began to drag the thin layers of skin across the stage back to Scar.

Jimmy’s arm stopped from where it had acted as a beacon for scared bystanders. The final few citizens looked at the explosion with wide eyes. Jimmy placed a hand on their back and pushed them out of the door at a hurried speed.

“Oh my God.” Joel said at the same time Cleo and Bdubs ran in. Joel spotted the rest of the family and repeated the statement. 

Cleo strode over to Scar. A ginger snake on Cleo’s head lunged for Grian but just missed him. Bdubs seemed to hurry over to Etho. Scar’s body was slowly reassembling itself. Joel moved the laser gun to Cleo. Cleo paid no mind to him. “What the hell happened here.” she asked. 

“Mr GoodTimes is under arrest by the Supernatural association for disturbing magic. Please move away from him unless you want to be arrested as an accomplice.” 

“Aren’t you meant to make sure that the president is safe before you point a deadly weapon at me?” 

Joel turned around to where President Etho was still sitting down. The laser gun was now pointing at the president. “Mr President? Could you leave please? This isn’t exactly safe.” 

“Get that weapon away from my boyfriend!” Bdubs yelled. 

Joel turned the gun to Bdubs. “Is that true?” He shouted to Grian, who was looking at Joel in worry.

Grian nodded, “I didn’t know until we sat down next to him.” He turned back to the healing corpse of Scar. Cleo was bent over him, using the same knife that made the ring shine on Scar’s prone body. Grian crossed his arms but didn’t move any closer in fear of magic he couldn’t understand. The monster within Scar started to retreat back inside of themselves. The skin started to patch itself up naturally. When Scar took his first breath again, Cleo forced a bright red drink down his throat. After a second, he seemed to drink it gleefully, a recognizable sparkle in his eyes.

Joel lowered the gun from but kept it at his side. Jimmy moved to the stairwell and placed his sword in the sheath. 

After a minute of mostly silence (Bdubs was vehemently shouting he should be allowed besides Etho and the snakes in Cleo’s hair had hissed every time they saw Grian in the corner) Jimmy finally asked, “Should we call our boss?”

“Do that.” Cleo ordered.

Ring. Jimmy put the phone on speaker. Ring, ring. 

“Hello.” The voice was grainy but female. There was something about it that Grian recognized. The tone, the pitch. His eyebrows scrunched as he tried to place a name to the voice.

“Pearl! Boss!” Jimmy exclaimed, “We have a predicament with the GoodTimes case.” 

Pearl, Grian mouthed to Scar. Scar shrugged while Cleo nodded. Cleo had never met Pearl so Grian turned to Joel and Jimmy. “Pearl?” he said. 

A pin could have dropped. The faint buzz of activity died on the other end of the line.  “Was that Grian?” Jimmy and Joel’s boss asked. Both their faces drew into comically thin lines. 

“Pearl?” Grian asked again. “You’re Tim and Joel’s boss? I thought you worked as a secretary for the local politician?”

“That was Grian.” Joel said before Pearl could respond to Grian’s question. “He um. Caught us spying on him. Why don’t we explain everything when you get here?” 

A door slammed on the other end of the line. Cleo winced. Another door slammed and a car engine started up. Pearl sighed over the phone, “You can start to explain now, no need to wait for me to arrive. Including why you called me initially actually.  I’ll be there in fifthteen minutes to deal with your mess.” 

Joel’s voice quivered, “Um, President Etho is dating the target's brother? We think it’s the target's brother. No one seems to really know?” 

“Yes! I’m Scar’s brother!” Bdubs called, he spoke into the phone’s microphone. 

“He’s the target's brother!” Jimmy confirmed.

Pearl sighed, “Make that five minutes. Now tell me the short version before I get there.”  

Joel sighed as he began to recount the very basics of what had happened in the past month, careful to avoid anything that might anger his boss more.