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The memories of the incident that happened 4 years ago are blurry, at least to Diluc.
Whenever he thinks of that specific day, all that comes to mind is the spilling of blood, the rage inside of his heart, the wings of dawn as he set her off toward his enemy, and the scream that pierced through a second after. He thinks of who the enemy actually was, and it stings to remember.
Kaeya.
His "enemy" had been his brother, the one he had unleashed his fury upon, attacked him with not a single moment to spare, and left him to rot and die. When Kaeya had told him that he was a spy, especially from a nation that no longer existed, Diluc was furious.
Because how dare he? How dare Kaeya tell him he had been betraying behind his back right after their Father's death? How.dare.he.
Diluc had for a second, only stared at the sight of the familiar face in front of him which seemed so...unfamiliar all of a sudden. It was like it wasn't Kaeya sitting next to him, but an enemy who had Diluc had to eliminate as fast as he could.
It was no longer a sweet little boy who reminded him of the starry night sky when Diluc looked at him, who picked berried with him in the vineyards, who would run away in fear when a crystal would perch itself on his nose. This just wasn't Kaeya anymore.
And with practiced ease, Diluc performed what he did with every enemy, burn them in the flames of retribution. He saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. All there were were the flames of his blade and the burning rage in his heart.
Even when a shrill scream echoed in his ears, Diluc was unstoppable. Even when his burning claymore met skin, Diluc didn't stop. Even when hot, boiling blood spilled ll over his coat, he didn't stop. Even when the sounds around him died down, Diluc's blade was unforgiving in its judgment.
His heart was ablaze, vision clouded by fury, the flames licking at his skin with a ferocious snarl.
"You are no brother of mine." What spilled out of his mouth weren't just words, but daggers coated with the most vicious venom.
The blood on his clothes felt hot, and Diluc felt as if the world was burning alive as he spectates it from far away.
"Leave, and don't you dare return back here." There was nothing more left to hold onto. He grabbed his claymore and left, left back a letter for his most loyal maid, left a letter of resignation for the Ordo, and left his vision and passion behind.
All he had was his vengeful being and the delusion to fuel its hunger. Diluc ragnvindr left Mondstat, leaving behind scars that ran deeper than the deepest depths of the ocean.
---
It's raining when Diluc returns. He is completely drenched, his coat is slumped over himself, wet and soggy. His hair is a mess, a wild unkept lion's mane.
The blank door of the Winery greets him. It's his home, so why is he still hesitant to knock? The answer becomes clear when he raises a hand, fingers hovering over the wood of the door frame.
He knocks.
The door swings open at the first knock and he's captured into a bone-crushing hug.
"Master Diluc!? You're finally back!" Adelinde rambles on, letting go of him and immediately fretting over his condition. "It's nice to be back." He replies, somewhat feeling comfort at the touches of the maid who's raised him into what he is today.
She looks at him with a smile that gives off both sympathy and love, pestering him to come inside as she dries his hair with a towel, commands him to shower, and pulls out fresh clothes for him. From the side of his eye, he notices that despite how lively the winery is, a specific someone is nowhere visible.
The thought bugs him throughout his bath, throughout the time he dresses in fresh clothes, and throughout the dinner that Adelinde forces him to eat. Diluc wants to ask, but if Adelinde won't tell him herself that he won't push the subject any further at all.
He resigns to his bedroom for the night, but sleep doesn't come to him so easily. Most of the night goes by watching the moon shine above in the dark sky, fidgeting with his gloves, or thinking about the lack of someone in this house all of a sudden.
Is it wrong to worry for someone who you yourself threw out, almost killed, and abandoned to die? Diluc wonders.
Didn't he himself command Kaeya to never return again? Then why does it shock him so much to actually see his wish being granted?
In the morning, Diluc wakes up, his eyes bleary due to the fact that he slept past noon (which is pretty unusual for him, he normally wakes up early morning). The sunlight is warm against his face, bringing him the faint sense that he'll wake with its rays shining in his eyes.
The winery is just as lively as ever as he makes his way down being greeted by the sight of Adelinde cooking breakfast, the smell of the food is in itself heavenly, he hides it well that he is starved beyond human capacity.
The morning goes by just as swiftly as it came and it's time to visit the city of Mondstat. Diluc dreads the thought itself but it can no longer be delayed.
The city is the same as ever, people steer their heads at the sight of him, their eyes blown wide as if they have seen a spirit. A girl turns her head so swiftly in his direction that Diluc is almost worried she might have snapped her neck in half, but he moved on anyway.
The headquarters of the Ordo are still the same, the knights at the door are fast asleep when he arrives, and they stumble around to regain consciousness when he lets out an annoyed huff. "Knights of Favonius, so inefficient." He spits the words out like venom, moving through the building to the Acting Grandmaster's office.
He hesitates at the door, before knocking on it twice. "Come in." He steps inside awkwardly, closing the door behind him. Jean is right there, her face drowned in paperwork, she doesn't notice him at first, and when she does, she's horrified, to say the least.
"Diluc?!" She screams louder than his pet eagle screeching at his window in the morning. "Jean." He's grabbed into another bone-crushing hug and for a second he doubts if he'll live through this one.
Jean pulls away almost immediately, presenting herself more in her "Acting Grandmaster" demeanor, "We are grateful to have you back."
He nods, his gaze flickering to the paperwork spilled over her desk. "I have something that belongs to you." She says, reaching out for one of the locked drawers of her desk, grabbing it carefully in her gloved hands as he faces him again.
"My vision." He breathes out, staring at the Pyro emblem with an unknown gaze. "I do not need it." Jean stares at him as if she knew he'd say that.
"You have to take it Master Diluc." She persists, "Kaeya would like you to have it." At the mention of his brother, Diluc shudders, his hand hesitantly reaching out to grasp the vision into his palm. It blazes back to life the moment it comes into contact with his fingers, the red within it pulsing with power.
"Kaeya. Where is he?" He feels the words spill out before he can hold them back. He shouldn't hold back! It's his brother he's asking about, he has every right to- Oh.
Oh.
"You are not my brother."
Kaeya isn't his brother anymore, so what right does Diluc have to worry about his lack of existence all of a sudden?
"Kaeya lives here only. In Mondstat city." Jean's words snap him back into reality, and as much as he wants more details, he knows Jean won't tell him, and he doesn't deserve to know.
"He didn't leave?" He asks instead, feeling a sort of...rage at his traitorous brother who he had commanded to leave, yet he persisted like a bug. He stops himself before any wrong words spill out from his mouth.
"No." She replies. He doesn't say anything, leaving in the direction of the door, his hand loosely wrapped around the handle. "Diluc." She calls out, and he turns towards her with a questioning gaze.
"....Nevermind. You can leave." As bizarre as it is, Diluc decides to leave it be, leaving the headquarters as fast as he can, his entire being has come to despise that place.
Evening comes by, decorating the sky in hues of deep blue. The folk are lively as ever, children running about, knights gathering together to head to the nearest tavern. Diluc grumbles at the thought, luckily his shift begins tomorrow.
The walk around the outskirts is pleasing, the wind passes by his hair, pushing them around. Diluc walks slowly, enjoying all the scenery has to offer. He's near the cliff of Starsnatch when he notices something, or...a certain someone.
Their eyes meet and it feels like the ground beneath his feet has suddenly disappeared, causing him to endlessly fall into whatever abyss will greet him in the hollow depths of the ground.
Kaeya stares at him, his pupil is blown wide as if he has truly seen god himself walking the grounds of Mondstat, the calla lilies in his hands crumble to the ground before he can grasp them.
Diluc can feel his entire being shaking, he doesn't know why.
"You want to grow your hair further?" Adelinde asks, a scissor clutched in her hands. The young redhead beams at her, his smile rivaling the sun's brightest rays itself. "Yes! I want to have my hair just like Kaeya's Addie!" He giggles, twisting his hand through locks of red hair.
"Like Kaeya's? Why so sudden young master?" She asks, setting the scissors down on the table. "I want Kaeya to feel at home! If I'll have the same long hair as he does, he won't feel so...."
"Alienated?" He smiles at her, crawling onto her lap. "That's the word! I don't want him to feel alienated from me...or dad. I want him to believe we are his family! So I'll grow my hair as long as his, and you can braid both of our hair and give us matching bows! Won't that be amazing Addie?"
She can only smile and pat his head, her young master though so young, is so thoughtful that her heart just swells in pride. "Of course young master, that is a lovely idea."
His hair remains just as long, weighting behind as back. Suddenly those long locks of red feel like a boulder, tugging him down, down to the depths of the abyss, choking him.
The blue hair he loved so dearly that he'd braid them each day in a new style for his brother, who he'd smoosh his face in to feel the soft locks tickle his nose are gone.
Kaeya's long, beautiful hair is gone. Cut short to perfection just below his nape. And the pain is unbearable. He feels as if the world was shattering apart in front of his very eyes.
"Addie Addie!" He tugs at her skirt, asking for attention. "Yes, young master?" Diluc smiles at her, and so does Kaeya. The two little kid circle around her like little chicks would around their mother.
"Can you braid our hair? With matching bows!!" Who is she to say no to such a cute smile?
"Of course, I can. Come here both of you."
After some time the two kids are beaming in front of the mirror, holding hands as tight as they can. Adelinde smiles at the two, hearing Crepus's laughs from behind them as Diluc shows off his and Kaeya's matching bows to their father.
"Lord Barbatos, Please do not ever take their smiles away. I ask of you, this small favor." She prays, kneeling down to carry them both in her arms when they rush back to her.
"Please don't tear them apart."
It feels like a punch to his gut, but he takes it anyway. Holding back his emotions, holding back any sobs that might rip themselves out of his chest.
Kaeya is still staring at him before a voice surprises the both of them, "Big brother Kaeya! Where did you run off to?" A little girl now stands with his brother, claiming him as her older brother. A title Diluc once held for Kaeya.
The other unconsciously grabs her tiny hand in his, giving her an awkward smile. "My apologies Klee, I came here to pick up some calla lilies, that's all."
Diluc watches with a burning heart, how a brother who was once his has built himself a new family, a new identity.
Maybe he was never meant to be Kaeya's family, maybe it was their faith, made to drift them apart.
He turns to leave, his pace much faster than before. He can't look at it anymore, the...change that stings so bad that he has to bite at his own skin to hold in his rage.
He shouldn't grieve for someone who he himself disowned. He shouldn't grieve over someone who was never his family, to begin with.
After all, Cryo and Pyro were never meant to be compatible.