Chapter Text
When Nic got into a car accident and was quickly admitted to the intensive care unit at Chastain, it was early October, a little less than a month before Halloween. She was still in a coma when Conrad picked up a package from the front porch during his daily check of the mail: a chicken costume for Gigi’s first Halloween. When she woke up about four days later and he told her about the special delivery, she had almost no memory of what he was talking about, but still enjoyed seeing pictures of Gigi going trick-or-treating with him and Billie, which was capped off with a brief visit to her room so she could see her baby girl in costume.
That wasn’t the only holiday they had to celebrate in the hospital. On Thanksgiving, he and Kyle snuck in a to-go meal for her and helped her cut up the turkey and grasp her fork. Although she was somewhat frustrated at needing others’ help to eat, she let out a small laugh and made fun of herself when she dropped a spoonful of mashed potatoes on the front of her shirt. “Gigi eats nicer than me,” Conrad recalled her saying.
Gigi’s first Christmas was nothing like they had expected when Nic was pregnant. Part of it was spent at home with Conrad, Kyle, and Marshall, opening gifts on Christmas morning and taking lots of pictures. Nic’s room was decorated with holiday cards and a tabletop tree, as well as a wreath on the door. Gigi came by wearing her Christmas dress and hair bow, and they took pictures with two special visitors: Santa and Mrs. Claus, played by Kit and Bell. (Bell even joked about how uncomfortable some of the extra padding had been under his Santa suit.)
It almost seemed fitting that she was going home in early January, not long after the start of a new year. She still had a lot of work ahead of her. She had to acclimate to being back home again and would have to continue going to the hospital for multiple rehabilitation and neurologist appointments. There was no telling when, if ever, she would go back to work, and Conrad didn’t want her to focus on that. But so far, she hadn’t even mentioned it.
On the morning of her discharge, he walked into the room, smiling big and pushing the wheelchair she’d ride in on her way out of Chastain. “Good morning! Today is a very big day!” he announced. “Where is our honored passenger?”
Nic smiled at him and then looked back at Billie. “Same old Conrad,” Billie whispered, trying to make her feel good.
He nodded hello to Billie and realized just how much he had come to appreciate her over the last three months. She had returned to Chastain after Nic was stabbed, and initially, she and Conrad wanted nothing to do with each other, as they recalled their past rivalry that she felt caused her to lose her job. However, Nic's trauma made them realize the past didn’t matter anymore and what was important was helping someone they both cared about start to heal and welcome a new baby into the world. Then, they leaned on each other again after the accident and would be doing everything they could to help her feel comfortable again once she got home.
“Try not to make too much of a fuss,” Nic told him. “I really just want to go home and hold Gigi and hug my dad.”
“Of course. I’m just the chauffeur. I’m sure Gigi will be very excited to see you, and your dad is already over the moon. After all, we were worried this day might never come. But whatever you want, the day is yours once we get home.”
Billie picked up a duffel bag and handed it to Conrad. “I think I managed to fit all the lighter things in here. I’ll roll the suitcase with her clothes since you’re pushing the wheelchair. And here’s the other tote bag with all the cards and drawings from Sammie. Oh, and Mina asked me when it might be a good time to have a Zoom call with Nic.”
“You know, can you call her back or text or whatever and let her know we’re not sure? I just want her to settle back in and give her a chance to catch up on Gigi’s life. She’s missed a lot. But feel free to come home with us if you don’t have to stick around for your shift.”
“I’m on call starting tonight but I don’t mind helping her get settled back in.”
“Guys, I’m right here,” Nic said, sounding annoyed. “I want some input too.”
“You’re right,” Billie replied with a smile. “Sorry. I think we’re so used to having you here and watching people take care of you and help you around the clock. I agree; we want you to be independent again.”
“I hope so because the next time I walk these halls, I want to be a…” She stopped. “What is it that I want? Ugh…I mean…damn it!”
“You want to come back to work, right?” Billie asked. “Can you remember what you used to do here? You were the one helping patients and working with Conrad. This is where you two met, too. He’s a doctor and you were the person who works closely with doctors.”
“A surgeon. No, that’s not right. I’m thinking about Jessica. She’s…oh, that’s right. I was a nurse.”
“Nurse practitioner. So you were a step above a regular nurse. You could almost act like a doctor. But let’s not say that too loud; we don’t want to tear down Conrad’s ego too much, right? Don’t worry, though; you’re not hurting mine. Nurses do a lot of valuable work in hospitals. I wouldn’t be able to function without them. Now come on. Don’t think about the hospital anymore. Are you ready to go home?”
“I’m already tired, but yeah.”
Conrad pushed the wheelchair out of the room, and to everyone’s surprise, the staff lined the hall and applauded while Nic was wheeled down the hall. At the end of the line, Devon, AJ, Kit, and Bell were waiting and taking pictures, all with smiles on their faces. Nic looked confused but tried to smile back, and Conrad quietly thanked his closest colleagues for showing up.
“Irving and Jessica aren’t on right now or they would have made it too,” Bell explained. “I hope you don’t mind if we send them these pictures.”
“No; go ahead,” Conrad said. He looked down at Nic to gauge her reaction, and she was silently looking ahead. “She’s just a little overwhelmed and Gigi and Kyle are waiting at home. I was hoping to get her out of here in a lower-key setting, but word spreads fast.”
“We’re just very proud,” Kit said. She squatted down next to Nic’s wheelchair. “You’ve overcome a lot. I hope this isn’t too upsetting to you, but I think everyone just wants to wish you well and congratulate you on going home. We don’t want to see you back here unless it’s to finish your therapies and then return to work.”
“OK.” Nic nodded, but still didn’t seem reactive either way.
“I think we should go,” Billie interrupted. She had always been good at recognizing when Nic and Conrad needed privacy or rest over the last few months and was able to shoo visitors away without offending anyone. “It is a big day, and we’re all thrilled, but family is what’s most important. Conrad told me that when Nic is ready for more visitors at home, he’ll let everyone know when they can come over.”
After what seemed like an eternity due to more people stopping them, they got back out to Conrad’s Jeep, and Nic looked at him for a minute when he helped her into the front seat. “Why did everyone clap for me?” she asked. “It’s so weird. No one did that when I went home after I was stabbed.”
“Believe me, I tried to keep that from happening,” Billie assured her. “Did it upset you? If it did, I’m sorry, but on the bright side, it shouldn’t happen anymore. I think everyone who took care of you and visited over the last three months wanted to wish you well and celebrate your discharge.”
“So it was worse than the stabbing?”
Conrad and Billie looked at each other, not wanting to overwhelm her again.
“It was,” he said with a sigh. “But let’s not think about that right now, OK? It’s a happy day. Like Kit said, you’ve come really far, and now you can try to enjoy life again. No more nurses walking in at all hours. You’ll get to help me put Gigi to bed and sleep with me in our king-sized bed, in which I’ll let you hog all the covers. Lacey’s waiting too, but I told the dog sitter to put her leash on so she doesn’t get too excited. I bet she hasn’t forgotten you. She’s going to be beyond excited to see you too.”
“I’ll follow you guys.” Billie interrupted. She held up her keys, indicating she wasn’t going to disturb them or butt into the conversation anymore.
“No worries.” Conrad closed the passenger door and headed back to the driver’s side. Once he turned the car on, he smiled at Nic. “Ready to go? Your life starts again today.”
“Sure.”
“My baby!” Kyle exclaimed when the front door opened. He was already standing at the entrance holding Gigi, and his eyes welled up when Nic took her slow first steps into the house. “Welcome home, sweetie!” he said, embracing her with his other arm. “Do you want to see your daughter?”
Gigi smiled, but Nic looked at Conrad and shook her head. “What if I drop her?” she asked. “I shouldn’t. She could get hurt. She barely knows me.”
“No, that’s not true. Just look at her smile. She may not even be a year old, but babies don’t forget their mother. Why don’t I help?” He held out his arms to Gigi, who lit up again when she saw Conrad. “There. Now, I’ll hold you on one side and we’ll give Mom the other. She needs a little extra time to get used to you.
“I’ll hold her head and neck,” he told her. “You can prop up her back and legs.”
“Maybe that won’t be so bad. This is my daughter, after all.”
Nic gingerly put her arms around Gigi and started breathing fast, still worried that something was going to happen. “OK. Gosh, I feel like I don’t know anything. I can’t hold her. I’m sorry.” She pulled her arms away, and Gigi started to cry at the sudden movement, which made Nic grab her forehead and close her eyes. “Oh, that’s so jarring.”
“Here, why don’t you take a rest?” Kyle suggested.
“No! I don’t need that. I just got home. Let me see my family.”
Kyle nodded and took a step back, and then he gestured for Conrad to talk to him. “Let’s go upstairs,” Conrad said. “Hey, babe, will you be OK hanging out with Billie here for a few minutes?”
“Why are you leaving? Look, I’m sorry about Gigi. I want to hold her again. Don’t take her from me, please!”
“We won’t. We’ll be back soon.”
Once they were upstairs in the spare room, Conrad closed the door and looked at Kyle. “I know that when Nic was in the hospital, you were in denial about what was happening to her and what the aftermath would be like,” he said. “But now that we’re home, this is reality. I’m not saying you did anything wrong here. In fact, you did a good job. You weren’t too loud or over-excited when we came in, and I could see how proud you were. It’s just that right now, I don’t know if she wants to be pushed or have anyone making too much of a fuss over her. She was kind of taken aback when she saw everyone clap for her as we were on our way out of the hospital.”
“You guys are all I have,” Kyle replied. “And while I’ve been watching Gigi, I’ve slowly accepted that things will never be the same. Or that Nic will go back to normal, but not for a long time. It’s hard to lose that part of me for now. It breaks my heart too to see her so scared of her own child and worry about being a mom. She wasn’t like this at the hospital. I remember the first time she was able to hold Gigi again, she seemed so excited. What do you think changed?”
“It’s normal for people with head injuries to go through mood swings or want one thing one minute, but change their minds the next. And she’s still dealing with post-concussion syndrome, so the headaches and other physical side effects could stick around for years to come. The fact is, every TBI is different depending what part of the brain was injured or how long the patient was in a coma. There are people in vegetative states or long-term nursing home care who are never going to be functional again. Nic isn’t one of those people, but she didn’t just have a mild concussion you can recover from in a week or two either.”
“So what do we do now?”
Conrad frowned and rubbed Gigi’s back. If Nic weren’t his wife, or Kyle was the family member of another patient, he’d know exactly what to say. But this time, he had to think about it.
“Be patient. Respect the stage of recovery she’s at and be flexible around her appointments and needs. Don’t get upset with her if she’s having a hard time finding her words or doing basic tasks around the house. If you see her struggling, don’t just sit or stand there and watch. Offer help, and if she tells you to go away, at least you tried. From what I can see, she’s in a weird spot of wanting to do for herself and communicate how she’s feeling, but not knowing how to react to situations that she used to understand on the spot.”
“OK. I can do that.”
They looked at each other in silence before Kyle wiped more tears away and spoke up. “You know, she never ceases to amaze me. I went to church one week when she was still in a coma—talk about a place I never go, but I felt like I needed it—and I was thinking about all she’s done for others and for me, you know? She tried to help Jessie get clean and supported her sobriety right up until her death. She pushed me to get treatment for my depression. Then, to overcome that violent attack and give birth to a healthy baby, a rainbow baby, no less. Not to mention her own problems with panic attacks. She is so special to me, and I know she means a lot to you and Billie too. Do you think at some point we can celebrate and appreciate the fact that she’s alive?”
“She really is incredible,” Conrad agreed. “I don’t know if we need one big celebration, though. Why not celebrate along the way? We already figured out ways to get through all the holidays and try to help her enjoy them, right? Then, I’m sure as time goes on, she’ll accomplish more in therapy and get stronger. Maybe her memory will start to come back, and I feel like eventually, she will be excited to hold Gigi again and spend time with her. But I will say this: things are much better than they were in October. That gives me enough reason to believe.”
“You think she’ll get through it then?”
“No.” Conrad began, but then he saw Kyle’s face fall. “What I mean,” he corrected himself. “Is that she will be OK. I don’t want to believe anything less. Are you with me? You, me, and Billie…we’re her team here at home. I need you to be all in.”
“Whatever it takes.” They hugged, and then they walked back downstairs, where Nic and Billie were sitting quietly on the couch.
“I’m sorry about what happened,” Nic told Conrad. “I feel like I’ve barely seen Gigi, even though Billie was reminding me of the times she visited in the hospital. And it’s hard to be so responsible for someone that little and fragile.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’re already having a long day.” He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. “You’ll get used to everything again eventually. I won’t pressure you for the rest of the day; you let me know if you want to hold Gigi again. You can always just sit and watch her play, too.” He nodded at Kyle, who looked happy that Conrad was already holding up his end of the deal.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Just chill.”
It seemed like the perfect way to spend the rest of her first day back home, where she belonged.