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Hinata was considered lucky, statistically speaking, to have a soulmark.
They were rather uncommon, only forming on a minority of people once they turned seventeen years old. Some believed they were getting rarer by the generation, that they would die out entirely, lamenting that people these days don’t love anymore, that romance was dead.
So when the mark of a black wing developed on his back, where his right shoulder blade was, Hinata was intrigued as to how. Somehow, despite the increasing rarity of soulmarks, the universe had decided that Hinata was to be paired with someone on this earth on a deeper, spiritual level. Hinata hadn’t ever considered what that would be like before, having assumed it wouldn’t have been relevant to him in the first place. Even after his mark appeared, he still found it hard to imagine himself in those stories of romance with his other half, whoever it was that had, or would come to have, the corresponding mark.
His mother told him he was still young, and that he may not see it now, but when that soulmate came along, that right person, Hinata would understand. Hinata hoped he would, because for the time being, he very much couldn’t.
Ultimately, life didn’t really change just because of a mark. It was just a part of Hinata’s back as the rest of the skin there was. It didn’t change the events of his regular routine, it didn’t change him, it didn’t change the people around him. Thus, he could quickly forget it was even there most of the time. Even easier to do so when he didn’t see it often, due to its positioning on his back.
Which was why it was so surprising when he saw it in front of him.
Hinata hadn’t even been looking at first. He was getting changed in the school locker rooms for training, along with the rest of the volleyball team of Karasuno. He had been talking to Yamaguchi about one of their classes when Tanaka’s voice had cut into the room.
“Yo, Kageyama, what is that?”
“Hm?” Kageyama turned to him blankly, his arms paused in their movement and still holding his school uniform’s shirt from where he had just pulled it over his head mid-change.
“On your back! That wasn’t there before, right?”
Hinata turned from his conversation to view the commotion. From his angle, he could see Kageyama’s bare back as he’d turned to face Tanaka. There upon his right shoulder blade, was the mark of a black wing.
Hinata froze.
“Isn’t that the same one you have, Hinata?” Yamaguchi asked him.
“No WAY!” boomed Nishinoya’s voice from across the room as he bounded over towards Kageyama. “Shouyou’s got a soulmate? And it’s Tobio?!”
Hinata’s eyes tried to seek out Kageyama’s. The other boy had since turned to keep his back towards the wall so that it was angled away from others’ eyes, while his shirt was clutched in his hands as he held it in front of his chest. However, despite facing Hinata, Kageyama’s eyes was nowhere near meeting his. Kageyama was flustered, this evidently being just as much news to him as it was to everyone else, and his wide eyes darted around the room, yet were unfocused and not landing on anyone in particular.
The team themselves seemed unsure of how to respond. Some focused on Kageyama, trying to catch a glimpse of the soulmark in question, such as Nishinoya who was bouncing up in a failed attempt to get a look over Kageyama’s shoulder. Some such as Yamaguchi were turned towards Hinata instead, gauging his response. Others such as Kinoshita didn’t know where to look, awkwardly staring at the corners of the locker room.
They were saved by Ennoshita carrying out his captain responsibilities and clapping his hands together.
“Let’s not get distracted,” he ordered, his voice projected and bouncing around the locker room. “I expect everyone out of here and on the court within the next two minutes, otherwise it will be an extra lap of diving drills.”
It was enough to draw the team’s attention away from Kageyama and Hinata for the time being, their fear of facing Ennoshita’s punishment outweighing any desire for curiosity or drama. However, Hinata kept his gaze on Kageyama until the last moment before they had to exit, hoping to be given something, any response to his checking in, whether good or bad.
It was as if Kageyama refused to acknowledge that he was still in the room. He quickly dropped his uniform shirt and switched to his white t-shirt, tugging it over his body before wordlessly walking out of the locker room, without so much as sparing Hinata a glance.
Kageyama was quick to leave after practise, before Hinata even had the chance to talk to him.
Practise had been disastrous. While Coach Ukai had kept them too busy to talk, their actions had said enough. Hinata and Kageyama were wildly out of sync, their usual almost psychic communication resisting on each end. Kageyama’s setting accuracy was far from its pinpointed standard, the consequence of Kageyama refusing to look at Hinata too closely. Not to mention that the rest of the team had also been incredibly distracted themselves.
After Ukai had chewed them out for the disappointing practise, the first years remained back to clean up the gym. Hinata had intentions of catching Kageyama before he left, but only Yamaguchi and Tsukishima of the second years had remained in the vicinity of the gym, talking to each other just outside of the gym doors.
Hinata approached the two of them, their conversation trailing off as he got closer.
“Yamaguchi…” Hinata said. “Does it seem to you like Kageyama is avoiding me as much as I think he is right now?”
“It does,” Yamaguchi said sympathetically.
Hinata sighed and adjusted his bag on his shoulder.
“Does what happened before practise really bother you guys that much?” Yamaguchi asked.
“I mean, I’d be pretty shaken up myself if I found out either of the two weirdos were my soulmate,” Tsukishima commented.
Hinata ignored that.
“I guess? Maybe? I don’t know?” were the only answers Hinata could supply. “It’s all happened so fast, it feels so weird!?”
“It probably would feel weird at first,” Yamaguchi pondered. “But I think it makes a lot of sense when you let it sink in.”
“Huh?”
“Well, when you really think about it,” Yamaguchi explained. “You’ve got something for him deep down, don’t you? Something more than friendship. Even if you two are too stubborn to admit it, everyone else can see you guys have a special connection. It only makes sense you’d be soulmates! It’d just be a matter of accepting your feelings.”
“Tsukishima, what do you think?” Hinata asked.
As much as Tsukishima feigned disinterest, he was just as eager to be involved in the conversation.
“You two always have annoyingly acted like one of those old married couples,” he answered. “It’s like you two were made for each other, and I do not mean that as a compliment.”
Hinata frowned. Was this a unanimous sentiment amongst the team?
He sighed. Getting the team’s thoughts was pointless when he was getting nothing from Kageyama himself.
“I’ll see you guys later,” he said, making his move to grab his bike.
As he rode his bike over the hills on his path home, his mind rushed with the events of the past few hours. And the subsequent conversation that had occurred afterwards.
Hinata hadn’t given much thought as to who his soulmate could actually be. His soulmark had only appeared half a year ago, and he had assumed it wouldn’t be relevant until some years in the future at least. Even then, the very idea of a future partner was such a vague concept, a hypothetical. He wasn’t anticipating his soulmate to become known within the year, let alone have it be someone he already knew, in his very high school, in his team. The very person he spent most of his time around. The one already at his side.
Hinata understood what Yamaguchi, and by extension Tsukishima, were saying, he did. He understood how it looked. He knew how everything seemed to logically come to that conclusion.
But there was an underlying irritation that he was feeling hearing it from them. A feeling that despite him understanding others, they weren’t understanding him.
But did that irritation just further prove their point? That he was in denial? That he did hold some sort of special feelings towards Kageyama? He knew that if he tried protesting anyone’s point, they would just assume his response to be confirmation of it.
Upon arriving back to his house, Hinata went straight up to his room to continue pondering on his own, barely sparing a hello to his mother and sister on his way in.He lay on his bed, lightly tossing his volleyball up and down repeatedly with his fingertips. Even just that action had such a strong association with Kageyama in his mind. He was finding his thoughts had been taken up by Kageyama more often than not nowadays, without the soulmark having even been in the picture yet.
He let himself follow those thoughts, in the privacy of his own room.
What was Kageyama to him?
Kageyama was the person who had been by his side more than anyone else. He had also been the person that had driven and motivated him more than anyone else. Hinata had come this far because of Kageyama’s influence.
They were a pair. A formidable duo. A duo that, even before they had gotten to know each other, had somehow grown an intense level of trust, as if they had already been close for years.
Hinata could trust him more than anybody else. He didn’t know who he would be if it weren’t for Kageyama shaping him. And he wanted it to stay that way forever. Side by side, influencing each other, growing, being each other’s most trusted person.
Was that… love?
Was that what the team was referring to, when they said it only made sense that Hinata and Kageyama’s relationship would naturally blossom into something else? Something “more” than friendship, as they said?
Hinata supposed he hadn’t felt that way towards anyone else before. Even his closest friends he’d had before Kageyama paled in comparison to what he felt about Kageyama being in his life now.
But did Hinata even want “more” than that? Things were perfect as they were, weren’t they? It was comfortable, warm, secure as it was now. Hinata liked it, and as far as he knew, Kageyama liked it too.
When others talked about “more”, what was it they were referring to?
Hinata imagined himself and Kageyama as the soulmates he had seen represented in media. Usually the story went that they discovered each other’s soulmarks, shared their mutual feelings, hugged, kissed, became a couple, maybe even with the idea of marriage in the distant or not-so-distant future.
Nope. Nope nope nope. That wasn’t going to work.
It wasn’t that it was exactly disgust that Hinata felt at the thought. Disgust would imply that something about Kageyama was, well, disgusting. Which he wasn’t. No, it wasn’t disgust, but just a weirdness about it. Like the very concept just didn’t make sense, the idea not computing, not registering as an option to start with. Romance was incompatible with the image Hinata had of himself and Kageyama.
Often when people felt weirded out by these thoughts about someone in their life, they would describe it as being that way because that person was like a brother to them.
But saying that Kageyama was like a brother to him was incorrect too. Hinata had a sister, he knew what a sibling relationship felt like, and his and Kageyama’s bond was separate from that as well. It wasn’t like a sibling, like family connected by chance of shared blood. His and Kageyama’s relationship was forged on their own from shared ideals; a found partner, not a found family.
They were more than friends, but “more” than friends felt wrong. A brother in the partnership sense, but not in the sibling way. Strong enough that being soulmates made sense, but being boyfriends would be nonsense.Something special, something different, but nothing feeling right.
What the hell did this soulmark want from them?
Hinata rolled over on his bed and pulled out his phone, turning to somewhere he knew he could drop any question.
kenma whats ur opinion on soulmarks?
The reply came in rather quickly. After all, Kenma’s phone was almost always in arm’s reach unless he was in the middle of volleyball practise. So long as it was a text and not a call, Kenma was prompt.
Do I get any context for this or…?
i have one with kageyama
Kenma reacted to this message with a thumbs-up emoji. As for what he meant by that, Hinata didn’t know. There was a pause as Hinata saw the three dots bubbling by Kenma’s name for another message.
Does that bother you?
Despite this being the second time he had been asked, Hinata still couldn’t honestly pinpoint what the exact cause was at this point.
idk it feels both wrong and right
Interesting
While Kenma was a fast replier, the replies themselves weren’t always clear.
whats interesting?
I mean, I can kind of see why you’d feel like that. It’s like I’m both surprised and not surprised at all.
right?!?!
What have you guys done since finding that out?
well nothing really. kageyamas been avoiding me since we found out today
There was a pause before Hinata decided to double message with another text.
shld we be doing smthn?
The three bubbles of Kenma’s typing appeared, then disappeared, before appearing again a matter of seconds later. This pattern repeated a number of times before his next message came through.
People tend to think that once you learn you’re soulmates, you’re then expected to date, eventually get married and all that. What do you think about that?
yeaaaaaahhh no like thats the part thats the most not right
What’s the part that is right then?
Hinata paused to think about it. He took his time typing, making sure he was putting the thoughts that ran in his head in as identifiable words as he possibly could.
we get each other. like on a way that nobody else can come close to. we have our own language that doesnt need words. we can just feel it back and forth betwn each other like whhhshshhshshhs yknow?
Ok so he couldn’t find a written translation for all of his thoughts.
me and kageyama are deeper than normal so that part is right. being soulmates makes sense like that. but everything else feels wrong
Hinata lay his phone down after he hit send. Even the way he had explained it to another person had felt like a confession of sorts. But weren’t confessions reserved for talking about crushes? None of it made sense.
Hinata gave it a few minutes before he checked for Kenma’s next response.
Did you know that Kuroo and I are soulmates?
Hinata sprung from his position lying on the bed to sit upright, hurriedly typing his response.
i didnt?????
Most people don’t. Because we didn’t really change anything we’ve been doing the whole time we’ve known each other. Contrary to popular belief, soulmates don’t actually have to be inherently romantic.
rlly??
Yep. Maybe we will one day if we feel like it, maybe not, it’s up to us. But we like how it is now, and that’s what makes it feel right.
Now Hinata was the one to reply with an “interesting”.
There was a lingering pause after Hinata sent his message, enough for him to wonder if that was where the conversation would end.
So to answer your first question of what I think about soulmarks: I like what they mean when it’s as it works for me
That was where the conversation felt ended. Hinata acknowledged it with a thumbs-up reaction of his own this time and a thx.
Hinata laid back down on his bed. While it didn’t feel like all his thoughts had been resolved yet, Kenma had definitely helped with settling them down from the chaotic whirl they had been earlier. While he still went to bed that night with a lot to think over, it felt like he could do so more calmly.
But he wouldn’t be able to find a resolution until he could find it together with Kageyama himself.
Hinata rode his bike back to school before the sun was barely up the next morning, bundled up in layers to fight the cold of the early winter. He made sure he pedalled quickly not just to keep himself heated, but to get to school early enough to find what he’d hoped to find and leave himself plenty of time.
Hinata knew exactly where he would find Kageyama.
It was easy to predict Kageyama’s movements when they were so routine. He was consistent, he had his systems that remained unchanged. He got his milk from the vending machine at the same time every day, using two fingers to press at the buttons each time. He always filed his nails starting with the right thumb and sequentially moving across his right hand, then his left until he finished with the left thumb.
And when he had something on his mind as a stressor, he could be found in the gym from the early morning, practising his jump serves towards a water bottle on the other side of the net.
Hinata could hear the sound of it as soon as he began his approach towards the gym.
He parked his bike outside of the gym’s doors and made his way up the steps at the entrance, poking his head in to confirm what he expected to see.
Sure enough, Kageyama was at one end of the court, the cart full of volleyballs by his side. Stray volleyballs were scattered around the gym, most of them on the other side, but some of them having rolled back towards Kageyama after rebounding from the opposite wall.
Kageyama was seemingly unaware of Hinata’s presence as he went to grab another ball from the cart. He counted his number of steps from the back line, preparing for his approach. He tossed the ball up and the thumping of his powerful run-up echoed around the court.
“Kageyamaaaa!” Hinata called.
The sound of the ball against Kageyama’s hand was flatter as it hit the wrong point of his palm. The ball flew off-course and collided with the band at the top of the net, the net flapping as the ball fell unceremoniously to the ground.
Kageyama turned towards Hinata on instinct, irritation evident on his brow. But as Kageyama’s gaze met Hinata’s, Hinata caught the waver, the glimpse of something that was not just mere frustration interrupting the usual look that Kageyama would shoot him.
It was reminiscent of the expression Kageyama had when others responded negatively to his King of the Court tendencies.
Was Kageyama… scared of him?
“Kageyama, I have to talk to you about this!” Hinata exclaimed.
“Ngh-!” Kageyama startled. “I don’t- We don’t have to talk about anything!”
“No, Kageyama, listen to me!”
Kageyama ignored him and went to pick up another ball. He spun the ball in his hands, set himself up for a run-up before going in for another serve. He hit the ball with more force than usual, the sound of the smack echoing around the court and the ball landing right on the opposite back line.
Hinata grit his teeth as he saw Kageyama move to grab yet another ball. He ran towards him as Kageyama tossed the ball upwards in preparation for another serve.
Hinata leapt. He reached behind Kageyama towards the ball. As soon as his fingers made contact, he curled them in and brought his other hand up to pull the ball in as quickly as possible.
Kageyama’s arm swung through open air.
“Hinata, you dumbass!” He shouted as he landed from his jump. “Leave me the hell alone!”
“Listen to meeee!” Hinata’s voice rang sharply.
Kageyama’s scowl remained on his face as he stepped back, although he was evidently shocked enough that he didn’t have any words to respond.
Hinata reduced his volume ever so slightly for his next sentence. “I’m trying to help us!”
“What if I don’t want your help?”
“Decide that after you’ve heard me out first.”
Kageyama shifted where he stood. “Fine,” he said.
Hinata saw Kageyama’s fingers twitching, anxious to have something occupying them. Hinata bounced the ball wordlessly towards him, it hitting the ground once in the middle of them before landing in Kageyama’s hands, as if they had their own magnetic pull. Kageyama’s fingers ran over the surface of the ball, some of his tension easing at the touch.
“You’ve been ignoring me ever since… that thing happened yesterday,” Hinata said.
Kageyama flinched.
“I don’t think that’s fair on me,” Hinata continued. “After all we are… we are soulmates now.”
Kageyama began to spin the ball in his hands, a slower version of the spin he usually did before his serves. He kept spinning it at a consistent rhythm.
When Kageyama didn’t say anything, Hinata decided to prompt him. “Talk to me,” he said. “What have you been thinking ever since that happened?”
“I don’t…” Kageyama started quietly. “I don’t want this. I don’t want people perceiving my relationships with other people. Or asking me questions. Asking me to explain things to them when I don’t even know how to explain things to myself.” His eyes were fixed on the lines of the court as he spun the ball in his hands.
It frustrated Hinata seeing Kageyama distressed like this. It wasn’t a frustration directed at Kageyama himself, but at the other people out there that would make Kageyama feel like this. They rarely bothered to try to really understand Kageyama. They didn’t get him like Hinata did.
“You don’t need to explain anything to anyone,” Hinata said.
“Well at least to you I don’t.”
With Hinata, Kageyama didn’t have to stumble over his words trying to put feelings to them accurately. He didn’t need to struggle trying to communicate in a way that didn’t translate to how most people thought. Hinata, somehow, would understand him anyway.
They had been on the same page from the beginning. Somehow, even at the start when they couldn’t stand each other and had pissed each other off to no end, they had been on the same wavelength. They had never needed to explain it to each other. They were just there, they had fallen into place together, so much so that their trust in each other had come even before genuine like for each other did.
And it went both ways. While it was more immediately obvious how Hinata understood Kageyama, how they spoke the same language and how he knew where he was coming from and how to respond to him, Kageyama understood him just as much. Kageyama anticipated what drove Hinata, his urges, his feelings, even before Hinata had identified them himself.
Which was why it had been so off-putting when Kageyama hadn’t wanted to acknowledge him at all.
But Hinata hadn’t really been the source of the problem, had he?
“Kageyama,” he said.
“Mm?” was Kageyama’s response.
“You’re more bothered by what others think about us being soulmates more than you are about us actually being soulmates, right?”
Kageyama blinked. Hinata knew he’d hit the nail on the head.
“Because that’s exactly what I feel too,” he continued.
Kageyama’s spinning of the ball turned into a light shuffling back and forth between his hands, barely audible taps lightly coming from his soft fingertips.
“You do?”
“I do,” Hinata said. “Us being soulmates… well, when you remove what anyone else thinks or says, it actually fits, doesn’t it?”
Rivals. Allies. Teammates. Friends. Partners.
Soulmates.
“Yes.”
And there it was. Kageyama’s simple answer that was the piece Hinata needed.
Being soulmates made perfect sense as they were.
“So that’s that!”
Kageyama raised his eyebrows questioningly at Hinata’s statement.
“You don’t want anything to change, right?” Hinata asked.
Kageyama nodded. “Right.”
“And you definitely don’t want us to do like, y’know, that kind of stuff…”
Kageyama shook his head quickly, frowning.
“I don’t want to either! So screw what the others think we need to do!” Hinata declared. “You’re my soulmate and more important to me than anyone else in my life already, and we don’t need to do anything else to prove that to anybody!”
The frown lines of Kageyama’s forehead relaxed. His hands holding the volleyball in front of him dropped down from where they had been in front of his chest. His grip on the ball loosened, it no longer being needed in the place of a protective shield.
A pleasant contentment spread through Hinata seeing Kageyama at ease around him again. This was exactly it. Himself and his soulmate forever at their most comfortable and at home in each other’s presence. Their inner selves completely understood by each other, as if they overlapped into one consciousness. Their connection being like no other, not so easily definable in words, and that being fine because their shared language went beyond the limitations of words anyway. They didn't need to carry out the expectations of other people. They had long found their rhythm and learned how their lives had come to be intertwined. Hinata had everything he wanted already.
Hinata could imagine what those who didn’t understand would say to that. That soulmates are supposed to be this beautiful, romantic thing, and wouldn’t it be such a shame to not have that? Wouldn’t they be missing out on it?
No. Hinata smiled to himself. If anyone was missing out on anything, it was those who didn’t have what he and Kageyama had.
“Kageyama,” Hinata looked at Kageyama directly, raising one of his arms to point at him. “Don’t think that just because we’re soulmates I’m not gonna keep fighting to beat you.”
A satisfied grin spread across Kageyama’s face. He held the volleyball in one hand, raising it and holding it out towards Hinata to match him. “Never.”