Chapter Text
Once upon a time, in a far hidden corner of the galaxy, there existed an isolated planet full of trash.
Due to the natives’ millennia-long non-existent reuse-reduce-recycle practice, instead of green mountains, they had trash mountains; Instead of blue oceans, they had trash oceans; Instead of blue sky, they had one littered with houses that must float to avoid touching the earth filled with trash.
Even though humanity had achieved many scientific and technological breakthroughs, (they unearthed materials that could make everything float, invented personal air purification tools, discovered a 100% effective pest control technique and even designed an instant water treatment device that can convert contaminated sewage fluid to drinking water within seconds) none of those development could help to eliminate the ultimate root cause of all their problems: the trash.
Eventually, a plague broke out and decimated over ninety-nine percent of the population. The remaining survivors built an emergency spaceship and took to the sky, leaving their home world, never to return again…
*******
"Okay…" Silver Wolf drawls after the long explanation. "So what you're saying is that these receptacles are research subjects abandoned on that trash planet?"
"That's right."
Kafka patiently nods her head while the rest of the Stellaron Hunters gawk at the two wiggling bundles in front of them.
“But they look like real babies...”
“That’s because they are real babies, Silver Wolf.” Kafka deadpans. "They were in an experiment that aimed to implant something like a black hole inside the human bodies."
After all, those scientists' goal was to get rid of the trash, so they made the babies a stomach that can disintegrate anything they eat, with only a few exceptions.
"...What in Nous' name is that kind of shitty idea?!"
"Who knows." Kafka shrugs. "But they succeeded anyway…"
The story gets weirder the more Silver Wolf hears about it. At the same time, it also makes sense that the receptacles Elio has predicted to be able to contain Stellarons are the weirdest thing she has ever seen.
"So… does it mean they can consume anything?"
"Other than whatever normal humans eat, they can digest any non-living things." Kafka clarifies, a smirk returning to her face. "Then again, we can teach them important life skills… like annihilating living things as well."
For once, Silver Wolf thinks she has to be the voice of reasons towards the older hunter. "...Kafka, they look too small to do any actual fighting."
Kafka waves off the concern. "Yeah yeah, just kidding… but don't worry. They are much older than they look. It's just that they've consumed nothing but junk until now so their bodies have no opportunity to grow. That's also the reason why we can't send them off just yet. The next part of the script is to keep them with us and feed them proper nutrients so their brains and bodies can develop."
Silver Wolf still has a lot more to say, but her chain of thought keeps getting interrupted by the nonsense gurgling noises from the twin receptacles. She wants to yell at Blade to keep them quiet but the swordsman looks like he has spontaneously turned to stone from the moment Kafka pushed the infants into his arms.
"Anyway, the girl is Stelle and the boy is Caelus." Kafka also announces, as if anyone asked. "From here, I will be in charge of this operation, but everyone will also be assisting, got it?"
In short, they will all have to share this burden of babysitting in the meantime.
The frown on Silver Wolf’s face starts to look like graffiti for how long it's been there. “This isn’t in my job description!”
*******
Whatever each Stellaron Hunter may think about the baby receptacles, Elio’s scripts are something they can never go against. As a result, Stelle and Caelus are soon brought back to their base: a normal looking apartment at the outskirts of a noisy city.
Almost immediately, the twins start having a crying fit.
Elio already claims that he will be busy tracking future possibilities from then on so he simply retreats to his room in the attic as if the babies’ cries are no different than background noises. Silver Wolf copies him and heads for her room on the second floor, leaving the troublesome task of calming the little ones to the other two.
Kafka attempts the easiest method and orders them to stop. Unfortunately, the babies don’t understand words yet to know how to follow her command. They continue bawling.
If given a choice, Blade would prefer to stand in a corner far away from this (and ideally dream about his sweet, sweet death that’s never coming). However, he is forced to pick the babies up and ‘do stuff’ with them per Kafka’s instruction. They try everything: shaking them (rockabye), swinging them around (playing aeroplane), or holding them upside down (???)... If anything, the crying only gets louder.
At one point, the door to Silver Wolf’s room reopens and the hacker’s grey head pokes out.
“Goodness. Get them something to eat! The interastral net says most of the time babies cry when they are hungry,” Silver Wolf shouts the whole thing in one breath, then shuts the door back once again. The babies’ cries must have interrupted her gaming session.
“Alright, alright. Time to get their meals.”
So Kafka goes to prepare some infant formula while Blade lets the babies sit on the sofa. That’s when they proceed to devour half the couch, the coffee table, and the TV. Blade, who was meditating on said couch, decides that’s that and throws them both into the trash outside the house.
There is a short silence, and then… Lo and behold, Stelle and Caelus start giggling happily as if they are surrounded by candy. All the hunters, who run to check on them after noticing that the crying stops, witness the bizarre scene with wide eyes as the kids vacuum all the sewage away.
No one knew why Elio chose the location of the Stellaron Hunters’ base to be right next to a big dumpster, but it makes sense now.
“Well, this is convenient. If the IPC shows up, we could say someone left them in the trash." Kafka jokes, still holding two large milk bottles she just got from the synthesiser.
Between protecting their eardrums and dealing with foul sewage, the Stellaron Hunters decide they may as well move all the neighbourhood bins into their basement and turn it into the babies’ room.