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She’s been twitching in the driver's seat for almost ten minutes. She jams her palm against the horn again, ‘JJ!’ she yells, ‘get the fuck down here.’
Like the countless times before Kiara receives no response, she wonders if John B’s actually killed him. It’s not completely outside the realm of possibility and she’s considering barging in with a rescue plan when JJ comes barreling down the hill.
At the top of the hill is a half finished structure that she doesn’t feel comfortable calling the Chateau yet. It looks too furnished at times, gleams under the sunlight like new things do. But what made the Chateau the Chateau was all the memories it held. The mattresses were frayed and the pullout had been clumsily stitched back together by her. But a part of themselves had grown up within those crooked seams.
‘Kie!’ JJ calls as he gets closer, ‘start the car! He’s gonna fucking kill me!’
‘JJ get back here!’
‘Drive!’
‘I need the Twinkie you asshole!’ John B screams, ‘you already lost it once.’
‘I’ll have it back in perfect condition, cross my heart and hope to-’
‘Oh shut the fuck up-’ he crosses his arms, ‘I can’t believe you’re going along with him, Kie’
‘Hey!’ she scowls as the hill and the fake-Chateau grow smaller, ‘don’t drag me into your bromance problems.’
John B yells something else at them but he’s too far in the distance to hear. ‘that went well,’ JJ quips.
‘Really,’ Kiara chuckles.
He smells like the ocean, and the butterflies roll in like waves too. In full disclosure, Kiara’s really not sure what they are. He’s her best friend. But they also kiss a lot. She feels like she’s floating in a warm pot of soup every time he’s near, flush and lightheaded, like just the right amount of beer.
She could get drunk on his kisses, she thinks. ‘Kie,’ he mutters, she looks at him with a grin that she’s pretty sure is dorky as hell. ‘What are you thinking about?’
You. But she doesn’t say that because JJ scares easily and she wants him to be him right now. She pushes when he’s being a jerk, but she’s quite happy with what they have right now. (Even though Sarah disagrees, ‘ talk to him, Kiara, figure out whatever it is between you two.’ )
‘Nothing,’ she ends up mumbling. ‘So,’ she starts, changing the topic, ‘where are we going?’
‘Charleston,’ JJ supplies, eyes on the road.
‘Why?’
‘Just because,’ he quips and it’s such an un - JJ thing to say that she raises an eyebrow.
‘JJ.’
‘Okay, you remember Baracuda Mike?’
Kiara wrinkles her nose, ‘how could I forget.’
‘He’s having me run an errand.’
‘But I thought you were done with him!’ she splutters, ‘he got his cut, it’s over.’
‘He’s paying good cash for it,’ JJ starts, ‘so it got me wondering.’
‘JJ you have money now,’ she exhales, ‘or did you forget again?’
‘Not about the money, Kie!’ he exclaims, struggling to explain himself, ‘like what on earth is so important that he’s paying me that much?’
‘JJ,’ Kiara giggles, ‘that’s called being a nosy ass bitch.’
‘It’s not,’ he scoffs, ‘god forbid a guy be curious.’ There's a smile on his face, it seems to be there more often these days. Kiara’s heart soars everytime she sees him happier. She can’t even imagine living through half the stuff JJ has. She has a different kind of respect towards him for surviving through it.
He looks different too these days. His hair is shorter and less all over the place, the cut off’s are (much to her disappointment) gone and have been replaced with leather jackets and edgy sunglasses. He has an actual business now, Kiara still has a hard time wrapping her head around it.
Because this is JJ, the boy who stole her favorite pen in fourth grade and bought her a new one but probably has the old one to this day. This is the boy who taught her to surf, who fell into the water with her until she got the hang of it. This is the boy who was her first crush and one look from him made her feel like an actual dystopian novel heroine.
Kiara wants to pull over and just kiss him senseless. ‘Did you get the pringles, Jayj?’ she asks instead.
‘Uh,’ he starts, ‘the red one right?’
‘Maybank!’
‘I’m kidding!’ he holds his hand up, ‘chill the fuck out they all taste the same.’
‘That is the worst bullshit to ever come out of your mouth,’ she glares, snatching the green can from him, ‘the green one is obviously superior.’
She expects him to make another snarky comment in the way he does. But she gets no reply, instead JJ’s staring intently at her mouth. Kiara leans forward and softly presses her lips to his. He’s only still for a moment before his teeth are grazing her bottom lip. It’s gentle, quite similar to the feeling of sunbathing.
‘Mm - Kie,’ he groans, ‘eyes on the road.’
‘Way to ruin the fun,’ she huffs, but really her heart is beating a mile a minute.
The rest of the journey is easygoing and flies by, before she knows it JJ’s telling her to stop by an honestly wrecked looking building. The neon sign reads MOTEL but the L’s fallen off so it’s just MOTE now.
‘Why exactly,’ Kiara starts, ‘are we at some ancient remains of a motel?’
JJ shuts the door to the Twinkie, making sure to lock it. ‘We’re staying here,’ he says simply.
‘Dude, we can afford more now,’ she whines, ‘let's go five star or whatever, we’re in Charleston, JJ!’
‘Nope,’ he quips, ‘maybe I’ll take you someday, still not used to this shit.’ This shit being the money. JJ had a crazy couple days after they’d gotten the money, went ham on the drinks and weed. Until he got caught with marijuana by the cops, and received a lecture from her and John B.
It’d been hard being that harsh on him. It’s expected she supposes, after seeing him suffer for so long Kiara would’ve loved to see the sun shine only for him. But all good things come to an end, so she’d hugged him and they’d watched Love, Rosie for the twentieth time.
He’s more careful with his money now, too careful Kiara thinks sometimes. But she feels like to much of a fucking hypocrite to say anything.
‘For now we lay low,’ JJ clears his throat.
The lady at the front desk gives them a look, before clicking away on her keyboard like all receptionists seem to do. Her name tag reads Candace and Kiara thinks it oddly fits. ‘Room 203,’ she states.
‘Thanks,’ JJ mutters before leading her upstairs.
The door is shabby and the inside is worse. Kiara’s pretty sure the room had been used as a makeshift drug lab at some point. Because she smells everything, cocaine, weed, and all the others. She wrinkles her nose, ‘this is homey,’ she says.
‘It’s essential for our cover,’ JJ smirks.
She drops down on the bed in the middle of the bed, it creaks and shudders. She swears she sees a spider scurry away. The windows are stained and the curtains are frayed. It’s giving horror movie set, as Sarah would say.
‘Okay,’ Kiara starts, hands on her knees, ‘what’s the game plan?’
JJ turns around and plops onto the bed next to her, ‘I go meet the guy, get the package and-’ he stops abruptly, ‘that’s all I got so far.’
Kiara chuckles, ‘that’s a very JJ plan,’ she say, ‘but how about I go get the package instead-’
‘No-’
‘Hear me out-’
‘I’m not letting anything happen to you-’
‘I’m not an invalid JJ!,’ she exclaims, ‘I haven’t done anything in the last couple months, all I do is wake up stock shelves and-’
‘Kie, you know I-’
‘I know you mean well, but I’m not made of fucking glass.’
‘You remember what happened with your-’
‘The thing with my parents was a one time thing,’ she licks her lips, was it? ‘Just let me do this,’
‘Okay.’
‘What?’ she blinks.
JJ smiles at her, ‘okay,’ he repeats, ‘I know you can take care of yourself, I just worry cause I care.’
Kiara all but dies and goes to heaven, because is this the same JJ Maybank who told her it would never work?
‘I know,’ she sighs, ‘and I love you for it.’
Even though she’s said those words at least a dozen times by now, she still holds her breath every time. She feels like he won’t say it back every time.
But this is JJ, ‘I love you too,’ he grins. An actual grin, like he used to when they were young and his mother was still around.
She walks into the lobby slowly that night. And is instantly glad she convinced JJ to let her come because the sight is like ice in her veins. Luke Maybank sits with his arm thrown over the couch and his feet propped onto the table.
‘Carrera,’ he slurs.
And Kiara instantly has a bad feeling about this. She doesn’t sit, ‘Luke,’ she says, she’s never called him that to his face before. But she doubts he notices or even cares.
‘Where’s my boy?’
‘Not here, ‘ she blurts out without really thinking it through, ‘super busy guy these days, he sent me instead.’
‘Don’t fuckin lie girl,’ Luke spits, ‘I know he’s here, Mike said he agreed.’
If Kiara didn’t already feel like punching him, she would now. ‘Wait,’ she exhales, fists clenched, ‘you had him pay JJ to get him down here?’
‘Yeah,’ he chuckles, like she’s said something incredibly funny.
‘Why?’
‘Why?’ Luke exclaims a bit too loudly, they get a couple of odd looks, ‘stupid girl, for the money of course.’ He says like it’s obvious, ‘you runts hit the jackpot somehow, and I want my cut for raising that piece of shit.’
Kiara’s never had to restrain herself this much, because she’d really really like to slap him. It feels as though there could be no greater satisfaction in life at the moment. ‘You fucking-’ she gulps, because there is too much she wants to yell at him for. But she holds back.
‘You knew he had money though.’
‘Can’t take the Maybank outta him,’ Luke chuckles, ‘knew he’d come running at the scent of money.’
‘Shut the fuck up.’
‘Don’t gimme attitude, Carrera,’ he growls, ‘just go get JJ.’
‘In your dreams,’ she snaps, ‘if you think you’re getting even a penny of his money then you’re insane.’
He stands up abruptly, and snatches her wrist into his coarse hand. Kiara flinches, she’s sure for a moment that he’s going to hit her. But he doesn’t, ‘I don’t play games,’ he hisses instead, go get him or I’ll find him myself.’
Luke drops her wrist and walks away. Kiara stands still for a moment before power walking back to their room.
‘JJ!’ she calls the moment he opens the door.
‘We have to-’
‘Kie, we’re leaving.’
Kiara falters, ‘that’s what I was about to say,’ she says, ‘but why-’
Her words are interrupted by a hard knock at the door, the door frame rattles. ‘Kie,’ JJ starts, ‘Kie, don’t get that-’
But she’s already halfway there, her hand twists around the door handle and for the second time that night she wonders if she’s dreaming.
‘Kiara.’
There’s a woman at the door. Chestnut curls frame her face, and she has a kind smile. But that’s not what strikes her the most, she has JJ’s eyes. Or JJ has her eyes. This particular shade of blue has always been so JJ to her.
‘Oh,’ she sighs, ‘Georgia.’
Kiara remembers the night JJ’s mother left. They’d all been at the Chateau and Big John had made them hot chocolate. JJ had cried the entire time, whispering one thing over and over again. ‘What’d I do wrong? Why’d she leave me?’
She remembers running her fingers through his blonde locks, telling him that it wasn’t his fault. Kiara knows he never believed her though.
‘You’re here,’ she stutters, feeling like an absolute fool, ‘in front of me.’
She looks at JJ for assistance, but he only glares at his mother, arms crossed. Kiara knows she’s treading on a landmine, she’d been about to reveal Luke’s whereabouts. But it seemed like the worst idea now.
‘Yes,’ Georgia chuckles, like she didn’t leave her eight-year-old son in the middle of the night, ‘you’ve really grown up gorgeous, Kiara!’
‘Are you two together-’
‘Leave,’ JJ says.
‘ JJ-’
‘I said leave.’
‘JJ maybe-’ Kiara starts, ‘you should hear her out?’ Because even when they’re fucking knee deep in a tough situation (JJ’s long lost mother on the doorstep, his dick of a father potentially tracking them down) she can’t give up the chance he has at having at least one parent.
‘I have,’ JJ huffs, ‘she has a kid.’
‘Oh,’ Kiara says for the second time in ten minutes.
‘And a husband,’ JJ continues.
‘JJ I never wanted to hurt you,’ Georgia pleads.
‘No you just wanted to forget,’ he says, ‘and that’s cool, but don’t go apologizing now.’ His breaths are shallow and frequent, ‘you never even sent a postcard,’ his voice cracks.
‘‘I’m not asking you to forgive me,’ she says, hands clenched together tightly, ‘just maybe think about it?’
‘I’m done thinking,’ JJ snaps, ‘just go please.’
His eyes are red, Kiara hasn’t seen him this upset in a long time. She wants to cup his cheeks and hold him until he smiles again.
‘Uh Georgia,’ she starts, ‘maybe you should go.’
There’s a tear trailing down her cheek, she looks like a tragic heroine. Georgia was always pretty, but back in the day she was black and blue from living with Luke. Even though Kiara hates what she did, she gets it in a vague way. Georgia wouldn’t have lived if she’d stayed, JJ was a survivor. He shouldn’t have to be, but he was.
‘I never thought he’d-’ Georgia gulps, reaching for a scar on JJ’s arm. It’s a particularly horrid one from a few years ago, Luke pressed a lit cigarette against JJ’s skin. She remembers tending to it.
Georgia wipes at her cheek, ‘Fine, I hope I’ll see you around JJ,’ she says, ‘and for the record, I did send postcards.’
She walks out the door and Kiara feels JJ look up. She walks over to the door only to find Georgia scribbling away furiously.
‘Here,’ she hands Kiara a scrap of paper, ‘keep it just in case.’
There’s an address on the paper and a number near the bottom, by the time she looks up Georgia is already walking away, her curls swaying in the wind. She pockets the paper and returns to JJ.
He’s already packing their bags. ‘Hey,’ he mutters, ‘what happened with the package.’
‘Oh,’ she says again, this was getting very repetitive, ‘it was your dad.’
‘What?’
‘Luke Maybank?’ she quips, ‘your dad?’
‘I know who my dad is,’ he scoffs, ‘did he hurt you? What did he want?’
‘Jayj, I’m fine,’ she hushes, ‘he just wanted money.’
‘Okay,’ he exhales in relief, ‘we are getting the fuck out of here.’
‘Oh totally,’ Kiara nods.
They’re down and in the Twinkie within a matter of minutes, ‘at least John B get’s the twinkie back early,’ Kiara says, relaxing into the passenger's seat. It’s dark outside, and usually she’d never agree to be on the road this late at night. But this was a much more appealing option than staying at the god forsaken motel with JJ’s estranged parents.
‘Hey, Kie?’ JJ starts, ‘I’m really sorry for dragging you out here.’
‘It’s cool,’ she responds, ‘I like spending time with you.’
‘Still,’ he continues, ‘it was such a waste of time.’
‘Dude, stop blaming yourself for every fucking thing,’ she scoffs, ‘just-’ she pauses trying to find the correct words, ‘just talk to me okay? You don’t have to take on all the burden on your own.’
‘I love you,’ he says abruptly, he’s got that lopsided grin that makes Kiara’s stomach do somersaults.
‘I love you too,’ she quips.
‘And about what my mom said,’ JJ licks his lips, ‘are we like together?’ The sentence ends in a mumble, she finds it oddly endearing.
‘If you want us to be, then yes,’ Kiara chuckles.
‘Yeah-’ he stutters, ‘yeah, I’d like that.’
‘Good,’ she says, eyes straying to his lips, ‘cause I’d like that too.’
JJ hits the brakes abruptly and slates his lips over hers, his warm hands cup her face. Her own hands weave into his hair as his tongue enters her mouth, ‘ JJ,’ she groans. There's something urgent beneath her skin, his kisses are like ambrosia. They make her feel alive in an immortal way. Like she’s golden, on top of the world. Like everything would be fine if he just kept kissing her like this.
He presses her against the leather seat of the Twinkie, and she feels his hand on her waist. Kiara pulls away, ‘I love you,’ she gasps, out of breath.
‘I,’ he presses an open mouthed kiss on her lips, ‘love you too.’
And perhaps this is what they mean by fireworks, because there are definitely electric shocks every time JJ looks at her. But it’s more of a burning feeling than a sudden one. Like coming home.
.
They get back around three in the morning. Sarah is lounging on the couch with a bag of cheetos. She looks over when she and JJ stumble through the door looking shabby, hair messy from the wind, and lipstick staining both their lips. ‘Oh hey guys,’ she yawns, stretching her arms back as the television flickers, ‘you’re back early, did you have fun?’
They groan in unison, ‘can we ban any future trips to Charleston?’ Kiara suggests.