Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I’m going to die alone.”

Silence. The mop of fluffy brown hair lifted itself up from where it was situated face down on the bright yellow throw pillow of the couch to glare at the person sitting on the other side of the room.

“Ahem, I said , I’m going to die alone and bitchless.”

The other person let out a vague hum and nodded, eyes still on the console in his hands. “Mmh, sounds nice Beomgyu hyung, have fun with that.”

“Kai Kamal Huening you are the fucking worst I hope you know that,” Beomgyu groaned, slamming his face back into the couch pillows. “Here I am lamenting to you and you’re more worried about your Animal Crossing villagers’ wellbeing. Can’t believe you care about your stupid sparkly-eyed bear villager more than one of your best friends. Worst therapist ever.”

Hyuka glanced up at that. “Hey! First of all, don’t be mean to Judy, we finally have the true friendship bond now - I won’t let you slander her,” he said, as serious as one could be when defending the reputation and well-being of a pixelated character. Which for Kai, was very serious.

He readjusted his sitting position so he was practically laying upside down now, head dangling off the armchair and blonde bangs hanging below him. “Secondly, you’re the one who doesn’t want to talk specifically about what’s going on when you showed up on my doorstep-”

“Can’t a guy just want to vent to his friends about his love life for no particular reason these days?” Beomgyu argued back weakly.

Ignoring Beomgyu’s excuses Kai continued, “And finally, you’re the one who chose to come here instead of venting to your roommate, who may I remind you is the one who is actually studying to be a psychologist.”

Another groan from the couch. “Can’t, Soobin hyung texted me to let me know that he and Yeonjun hyung are having ‘alone’ time this afternoon-” Beomgyu turned his head to look at Kai, his eyes wide, “-and trust me, as someone who has lived with them for almost four years you do not want to be around during their ‘alone time’.” He visibly shuddered. “I have heard things that I cannot erase from my mind.”

Choi Soobin - friend since high school and now one of Beomgyu’s roommates for the better part of almost four years. When they first met, the taller somewhat shy boy had been assigned the bottom adjacent locker underneath Beomgyu’s own. Height difference and the inevitable locker swap aside, the two had hit it off instantly and became closer friends through to Soobin’s graduating year. 

When Beomgyu had finally graduated, to his joy and surprise he had gotten into the same university as Soobin had, albeit with different degrees - Soobin studying psychology and Beomgyu pursuing his dream in music production. Soobin lived off campus with his longtime boyfriend Choi Yeonjun, who had been a dance major at the same university at the time (Yeonjun had since graduated, and due to his talents had immediately secured a job in a big music label as a dance instructor and choreographer for idols). When Soobin had heard of the expensive student housing predicament Beomgyu was in, he immediately offered the younger boy to split rent with them and room in their third spare room.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun had gotten along like a house on fire from the first time they met, and often caused one too many shenanigans and disasters in the ‘3Choi’ household (as it was named by Kai). Soobin always said he was the only sane one in their apartment, and often threatened to kick them both out - but Beomgyu and Yeonjun knew him well enough to know that he had too much of a soft spot for them to ever really carry through with it.

Though Beomgyu adored his two older friends, having the lovey dovey couple as roommates could sometimes be less than ideal, especially during their ‘alone’ time. 

“You know you’re always welcome here but - I mean, we did offer you to room with us here on campus ages ago,” Kai shrugged, “You did this to yourself honestly.”

An indignant squawk from Beomgyu. “Not my fault you guys were born a year later than me!” He sat up, sulking, crossing his arms over his chest. “And besides, I was already locked into the apartment lease with Soobin and Yeonjun by the time you two graduated school!”

Kai let out another hum at Beomgyu’s rant, clearly not listening. Beomgyu huffed and flopped onto the couch again on his back, turning to stare at the clock on the wall. The only sound in the room was the quiet ticking of the seconds hand of the clock and low volume of animated Animal Crossing chatter from Kai’s game.

“Stop staring at the clock, it won’t make Taehyunnie come home any faster.”

Beomgyu kicked his legs childishly. “How long does someone even need to spend at the library?! He’s been gone for hoursssss,” he bemoaned

“I don’t know, maybe you should go there and pick up a book sometime.”

Grabbing the pillow beneath his head, Beomgyu aimed and flung it across the room. Kai let out a shriek as it slammed him right in the face, then giggled as it fell onto the floor under his head. Beomgyu just rolled his eyes playfully.

Kai and Beomgyu had known each other since middle school. The once shorter puppy-like kid had suddenly sprouted into a tall broad-shouldered sunny-smiled young man right before Beomgyu’s eyes. Although they were a year apart, they connected through mutual friends and had first bonded over a deep shared love of music, with Kai practically being a musical prodigy straight from the womb and now also enrolled in the same degree as Beomgyu. Hyuka was like the little brother he never had - they laughed and bickered together, but when they combined forces they were the source of endless taunting and teasing towards their older friends, despite Kai’s more than close friendship that had bloomed with Beomgyu’s two older roommates in recent years (Beomgyu had always had his suspicions but had yet to find concrete proof, but that was for another time). But he was also a great comfort, and someone Beomgyu relied on often. 

Beomgyu sighed again, pulling his phone out from the pocket of his sweatpants and tapped the screen to see any new notifications. Ignoring the drop in his stomach at the flood of angry messages waiting for him, he swiped them away. He’d deal with that later.

He squinted his eyes to focus on his lockscreen. 

Cute , he thought, lips twitching with a smile. 

It was an old, slightly blurry photo taken of the reflection in his childhood home’s bathroom mirror - with a younger lanky looking Beomgyu knocking his head lightly against the boy next to him; both wearing matching fluffy green headbands pushing their bangs up off their face. 

Kang Taehyun - third year sport science student on scholarship, Hueningkai’s roommate and close same aged friend since middle school, the boy saved on Beomgyu’s lockscreen and most importantly: Beomgyu’s best friend.

No one could compare to Taehyun - the final piece to their little group of five friends. Beomgyu didn't want to sound like a sap, but no one knew him as well as Taehyun did (honestly Beomgyu sometimes believed that Taehyun knew him better than Beomgyu knew himself). The two had been attached at the hip since they were kids, when Beomgyu still had a pair of thick rectangle-framed glasses and a slightly wonky bowl cut, courtesy of his mother’s at-home hairdressing skills, and Taehyun’s features were still too big for his face with his large owlish eyes and straight-sloped nose. 

Though the five of them had finally formed their little circle of friends after Beomgyu met Soobin in senior year - Beomgyu being the connecting piece between introducing Soobin and Yeonjun to Taehyun and Kai - Beomgyu and Taehyun’s friendship ran deeper than the rest. They had done almost everything together throughout their lives; their friendship was the kind that at times with just a single look they knew what the other was thinking. They always joked that they were soulmates, the platonic kind of course. Sure Taehyun was attractive, Beomgyu would be blind to not see that. But he was attractive in the everyone-look-at-my-hot-bestie kind of way...right? So what that when he smiled wide and full his attractive dimples popped out on both sides of his cheeks, or how all his years on their high school’s track team had carved out his leg muscles and you couldn’t help but stare at them every time he wore shorts, or that his broadening shoulders tapered down to his small waist which-

Beomgyu stopped himself from dwelling on those thoughts, because there was nothing to dwell on… after all it’s perfectly normal to find your best friend attractive. Beomgyu would take personal offence to anyone who wouldn’t find Taehyun attractive.

Looks aside though, Taehyun was that once in a lifetime kind of best friend, one that Beomgyu was so lucky to have. Nothing was worth risking their friendship, and nothing will ever come between them. They’ve lasted this way together for most of their lives, and Beomgyu can’t imagine a future where Taehyun isn’t still by his side as his best friend, his other half. 

Beomgyu smiled to himself at his reminiscing thoughts. Taehyun really was just too cute. And such a hard worker. He really was just-

“You’re already in your ‘Taehyun’ mode just thinking about him and he hasn’t even come back yet,” Kai sighed from the couch, eyes still focused on his game. 

Beomgyu felt his ears burn at Kai’s comment. “My WHAT mode?!? I am not thinking about Taehyun. What even makes you say that, you psycho?! You’re seeing things with all that blood rushing to your head from sitting upside down like that.”

Hyuka put his console down slightly to look Beomgyu in the eyes. “You’re smiling to yourself like a madman - that weird dreamy smile where your eyes go all sparkly and shit too, it’s disgusting.”

Beomgyu gasped dramatically, sitting up. “I do not do that?!! This is Beomgyu slander!”

Kai just ignored him and continued, “You only ever look like that when you’re with Taehyun, talking about Taehyun, or thinking about Taehyun. Your Taehyunnie .” Beomgyu couldn’t tell if he saw exasperation, disgust, or pity in Kai’s eyes. Probably a bit of all three. 

“Y-You’re just making that up!” Beomgyu sputtered. 

Kai smirked. “Fine then, if you don’t want to talk about that, then how about we talk about the reason you came here all mopey on a fine Friday afternoon?”

Beomgyu frowned, and then mumbled something. 

“Hyung I can’t understand when you mumble like that-”

“I broke up with Yaejoon,” Beomgyu blurted. 

Hyuka slid off the armchair in shock, falling onto the floor in a pile with all the grace of a newborn deer, then jumping back up “What!?!?? When??” 

“... Today?” Beomgyu shrugged. Hyuka’s eyes immediately went soft and he placed his console on the armchair and went to the couch where Beomgyu sat and wrapped his arms around him. “Oh hyung… I’m so sorry I thought you were messing around earlier to test if I was listening to you.” His eyes were filled with guilt.

”No no, Kai, don’t be sorry! I honestly was playing around earlier, I just didn’t know how to break the news really… besides, it’s not your fault you didn’t know!” Beomgyu looked his younger friend in the eyes and smiled. “Just the other week I was complaining to you about how I shouldn’t give him any more chances and just break up with him and live out my singleness in the country to run a bed-and-breakfast hotel!” he laughed, and Kai’s face broke into a small smile at that. 

“That’s true,” he giggled, but then pouted his lips in a concerned manner. “But hyung…I know you’re joking around about it, but are you really okay with it?”

Beomgyu patted Kai’s arm. “I’m seriously fine Hyuka, I’m relieved if anything - I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Was just glad it was sooner!”

“Still, you should have told me earlier hyung. You know you can always talk to us, right?” Kai said gently.

“I know Kai, I know. I really honestly came here to hang out with you guys because Yeonjun-hyung and Soobin are doing their thing, and, I don’t know… I just needed to be around you guys right now.”

“You know you are always welcome here hyung,” Kai said, eyes turning into crescents as he smiled. However, that quickly shifted into a glint of mischief. He released Beomgyu from the hug. “Welllll,” he drawled, “That’s just me. I can’t speak for your Taehyunnie but-”

Beomgyu grabbed the last pillow on the couch and whacked him on the head with it. “E-enough of that,” Beomgyu said, embarrassed. “You make it sound as if I talk about him like he hung the stars in the sky or somethi-”

The universe must have an impeccable sense of comedic timing, he thought to himself, because right as the words had left his mouth suddenly the sound of keys jingling in the lock was heard and the front door clicked open. Beomgyu beamed and perked his head up on instinct like a puppy eagerly awaiting its owner. Realising what he had just done out of reflex, he immediately slouched back down into the couch under Kai’s knowing gaze, trying to avoid the younger’s smirk. "Not a single word from you Kai," Beomgyu hissed in embarrassment. 

“I’m back Kai- oh! Beomgyu hyung are you here too? I see your shoes by the door,” a familiar melodic voice rang out from the entry hallway. 

Kai turned to Beomgyu. “Does he know yet?”

Beomgyu sighed. “No Taehyun doesn’t know-”

“Doesn’t know what?” A pastel blue head of hair popped into the small living room, eyebrows raised. “Doesn’t know what, Beomgyu hyung,” Taehyun repeated more firmly, placing his bag on the floor next to the couch. 

Beomgyu stared at him like a deer frozen in headlights, unsure about how to breach the subject. They all knew that Taehyun had some, opinions, about Beomgyu’s now ex-boyfriend, no matter how hard he had tried to hide it from Beomgyu. Kai swivelled his head back and forth between the two. He clapped his hands together.

“Beomgyu hyung and his boyfriend broke up! Surprise?” Kai said, plastering a smile on his face and wiggling his hands in an exaggerated shaking motion like it would somehow make the news less daunting and more exciting.

Taehyun’s mouth dropped open in shock, and then it closed. Then it opened again like he wanted to say something, but he closed it again. He then settled on a very eloquent “What??!”

Beomgyu groaned, sinking into the couch and sending a glare in Kai’s direction. Hyuka just smiled sweetly in return with a wink and an air kiss, getting up to dust himself off, picking up his console and walking out of the room. He turned to Beomgyu with another mysterious smile. “You’ll thank me later. Anyways, guess that's my cue to leave!” 

That little shit. “You better watch your back Kamal, don’t come crying to me when Tobin goes missing,” Beomgyu muttered, slouching even further into the couch sulkily.

“Threatening to murder my plushies with two witnesses in a room? You’d be suspect number one hyung!” Kai called out from the hallway, before entering his own room.

Beomgyu shoved his hands in his pockets. “Welllllll, I need to go uh, wash my cat in the kitchen. Or something…” he stammered, attempting to get up and leave. Taehyun gripped his wrist and pushed him back onto the couch, sitting down next to him. 

“Beomgyu hyung, you don’t own a cat and this isn't even your apartment,” Taehyun deadpanned. “Hyung, was Kai joking? Did that guy really break up with you?” 

Curse Kai and his big mouth , Beomgyu thought to himself. He pouted his lips, and looked up uncertainly at Taehyun through long lashes. “If I say yes… promise you won’t get mad?”

Something flashed in Taehyun’s eyes and he made to get off the couch, “You mean that bastard stood you up again -” 

Beomgyu grabbed at his sleeve. “I mean… something along the lines of that-” he mumbled, and Taehyun attempted to get up again only to be tugged back by Beomgyu as the brown hair boy continued louder, “- but for the record I texted him and I was the one who finally broke things off with him anyways. So it’s over, no need to get upset.”

Beomgyu had a fleeting thought pass through him, before pushing it to the back of his mind. Definitely would be a bad time to show him the spam of angry threatening messages from my now-ex boyfriend, plenty of time for that later, he reassured himself.

It was silent for a moment, air charged with electricity as Taehyun stared him down. Beomgyu held the gaze stubbornly, lump rising in his throat preventing him from speaking. It wasn’t until Taehyun broke the gaze and collapsed back down onto the couch with a defeated sigh that Beomgyu let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Why didn’t you call me? You know I would have come right away if I knew you needed me.” Taehyun said more softly, trying to reel in his emotions. Beomgyu shrugged.

“Was nothing important really…” Beomgyu fiddled with the string coming from Taehyun’s sleeve, tugging and twisting it around his finger.  “Besides, like I told Kai, I knew it was going to happen eventually. I’ll be fine.”

Taehyun looked at him with those large curious eyes, spilling with attentiveness and something fond. “Hyung, everything you have to say is important to me. You know I’m always here for you, I’ll always listen.”

Beomgyu nodded. “I know,” he whispered.

Taehyun nudged the hand that was fiddling with Taehyun’s sleeve. “You wanna talk about it? You were meant to go on a date with him today, right?” he prompted the older boy.

Beomgyu nibbled at his lower lip, uncertain for a moment. Breakups had been a common occurrence for Beomgyu throughout the years Taehyun had known him, but most of them had ended on friendly terms or they parted ways amicably. Beomgyu knew Taehyun was only protective like this because he cared for him, and it was endearing (and it made him feel that strange twist in his stomach) - but Beomgyu also knew the younger didn’t really like Yaejoon and wouldn’t put it past him to go and beat the guy up if he had broken Beomgyu’s heart.

“I mean, there’s really nothing much to talk about… we had a date planned, to make up for him bailing out last minute on the last one again. And the one before that. I had planned for us to go down to that cafe, you know, the one you and I used to go to every day after school together! I was really excited to go back there too…” Beomgyu rambled. Taehyun nodded, listening attentively with a hand clasped over Beomgyu’s thigh - his thumb rubbing gentle circles there as the other spoke. 

“Anyways - today, I had gone early to meet him for our date, and I was waiting at the bus stop when he texted.” Beomgyu stared at the hand on his thigh as he continued to speak. “He said he was feeling sick and would have to reschedule for next week… but as I was walking home I saw him, with some girl. You know, that one Yeonjun hyung had warned me about?” He gave a small laugh but it sounded strained even to his own ears. 

“Guess that was the sign I needed, so I texted him immediately after and told him what I saw and I wanted to break up… he wasn’t happy to say the least.”

After Beomgyu had finished, there was a comfortable silence. Taehyun had his hands now in his lap. He seemed to be thinking deeply, cautiously formulating the words he wanted to say. “Hyung…” he began seriously, sounding slightly hesitant.

“Taehyunnieeee,” Beomgyu responded somewhat playfully to lighten the tense mood, dragging out the ‘e’ sound of the younger boy’s nickname. “Yah! Why are you the one being sad?!” He knocked elbows with the boy beside him. “Don’t worry about hyung, I’m doing more than fine, I’ll get over it soon enough,” he said gently but surely.

“That’s the problem hyung, you shouldn’t have to ‘get over it’. It just-“ Taehyun clasped his hands over Beomgyu’s tightly. “I know you say it’s fine, but it hurts, you know, to see this again, to see you being treated like this.”

“Taehyun, I promise you I’m fine. I’m honestly surprised… I thought I would be more heartbroken and crying into my pillow for a week like some of my other breakups, but surprisingly I just, I feel relieved?” Beomgyu said honestly. “I think I had accepted a while ago that things weren’t going to work out between us when he kept standing me up on our dates.”

Taehyun frowned slightly, and then he turned his head to meet Beomgyu’s with an indescribable look on his face. 

“Still… hyung, you deserve so much better. You deserve someone so much better, someone to treat you and love you right.”

Beomgyu’s heart fluttered abnormally at that. Why does that keep happening lately?

Pushing that thought aside, he threw himself at Taehyun, forcing the younger to fall back into the cushions - crushed under the weight of the boy on top of him. “Kang Taehyun, since when did you become so wise, huh?” Beomgyu smiled into the crook of Taehyun’s neck from where he was cuddling the other.

The blue hair boy let out a puff of laughter that rumbled in his chest. Beomgyu could feel the vibrations echo through his own body. A hand made its way to his hair, and soft fingers made their way soothingly through the brown strands. “I’ve always been the wise one here hyung, you should start listening to me more.”

“But that would ruin our dynamic - I’m the one in charge here!”

“Mmh, sure thing Beomgyu- ah. ” 

Beomgyu huffed in faux annoyance before giggling again, nose now pressed against Taehyun’s collarbone. He smelt comforting, familiar - a subtle citrus fragrance with undertones of vanilla and something pleasantly fresh and herb-like. 

“Thank you Tyunnie,” he said more quietly, just for the two of them to hear. He could feel his chest bloom with the usual warmth he felt when being around Taehyun. “I really am the luckiest person in the world to have a best friend like you.”

The hand on his head paused for a brief moment, so fleeting Beomgyu almost missed it, before continuing its movements through his hair. “No hyung, I think I’m the lucky one to have you by my side. I really am, you have no idea.”

Beomgyu lifted his head slightly to look into the other boy’s eyes, those wide glittering pools of warmth. His Taehyun. The air tingled between them, and Taehyun quickly broke their gaze, turning his head to the side. His neck was tinted with red.

How adorable , Beomgyu thought. Taehyun was always so shy when it came to showing his affection and receiving it - he reminded Beomgyu of a cat. His face would never give his embarrassment away, but the slow blush that would always creep up his neck sold him out. Beomgyu couldn’t even count the number of times one of their friends had smothered Taehyun in a hug, and his neck had flushed red at the display of affection. He always tried to maintain his cool and calm appearance that he was known for, but Beomgyu knew that he was a real softie underneath.

Taehyun coughed to break the momentary silence. “How about we do something tonight to cheer you up?” he suggested, raising his voice a bit more. “Let’s invite the others to come here too. All five of us! Like we usually do. We’ve all been busy with midterms this week anyways, and Yeonjun hyung was busy with those choreo lessons all week. Plus, Soobin hyung and I just had our last exams today too - so all the more reason to get together and let loose a bit.”

The older boy nodded happily. “Sounds perfect. You really are the best Taehyun-ah.”

A voice from the hallway interrupted them. “Drinks are on me then!”

The two boys on the couch lifted their heads. “Kai, were you seriously eavesdropping the whole time?!” Beomgyu called out in disbelief.

Kai poked his head into the room. “Ew definitely not the whole time, don’t worry. I just have extremely selective hearing and happened to hear the promise of a night in with the gang,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows in a silly manner to make the other two laugh. 

“Okay, sounds like a plan then. I’ll text Yeonjun hyung or Soobin hyung and let them know too,” Taehyun said to the other boy still laying on top of him. Beomgyu shuddered. “For both our sake and theirs, you better hope their ‘alone’ time is over or we’ll never hear the end of it for interrupting them.”

“Wouldn’t hold your breath on that one hyung,” Kai said with a sigh. He then gave Beomgyu a lopsided smile. “Anywaysss I know I said drinks are on me, but my loveliest, kindest, sweetest, prettiest hyung - would you ever be so kind as to lend me your card?”

Beomgyu just groaned. 

***

“Soooo what are we celebrating tonight?!” Yeonjun exclaimed loudly as Taehyun opened the door to let them in, Soobin following his boyfriend closely behind holding a container with something in it that Beomgyu had yet to identify.

“End of midterms I guess,” Taehyun replied.

“Breaking up with my boyfriend,” Beomgyu said at the same time. 

Everyone froze. 

“Guess that’s one way to tell them,” Taehyun muttered. Beomgyu elbowed him.

“Wait wait wait, repeat that again?!” Yeonjun said, eyes widened. Soobin was still frozen behind him, unsure of what he had just heard.

“The end-of-midterms or breaking-up-with-boyfriend part?” Beomgyu smiled.

“You broke up?” Soobin gasped, eyebrows flying up into his hair. 

“Oh thank fuck,” Yeonjun sighed in relief, taking his shoes off at the entrance and placing his bright pink puffer jacket on the coat rack, despite the warming weather. He brushed his jet black hair off his neck and rushed to give Beomgyu a hug. “I mean, no offence Beoms but you can do so much better than that slug, he didn’t deserve you. So glad you dumped his ass.”

“Are you doing okay though, Gyu?” Soobin interrupted his boyfriend’s ramblings. His eyes were analysing Beomgyu’s body language and the younger knew he was trying to look for signs of distress or sadness or whatever mumbo jumbo he had learnt in his psychology degree.

Beomgyu just nodded and gave him a sincere smile. “I’m fine, actually I feel better than I have in weeks. Breaking up was long overdue anyways I think.”

“Good thing we brought a cake then to celebrate! Let’s party!” Yeonjun said, taking the container from Soobin’s hands. Inside it was a small slightly lopsided cake covered in pink butter frosting. 

“How did you know to bring cake?” Beomgyu asked, bewildered. 

“I’m psychic like that,” Yeonjun winked, or at least attempted to wink (because no matter how hard he tried he always ended up blinking both eyes) and threw an arm around Beomgyu’s shoulder and led him down the hall towards the kitchen.

“Between you and me, Soobin was stress baking again this morning after his last exam ended,” Yeonjun said once they were out of earshot from the other two. “I got his mind off of things later of course when we-”

“Ew, I do not need to know what nasty things you guys do in our apartment please,” Beomgyu mimed fake gagging. Yeonjun rolled his eyes.

“Anyways, you know how… disastrous my bunny can be in the kitchen,” Yeonjun whispered, his smile more like a grimace. He brought the container to eye level and squinted at it. “I think Soobin said he was trying out this new cinnamon tea cake recipe.” He gave Beomgyu a wide eyed look. “But you weren’t home and I was a bit scared to try it on my own, so I just bought it with me to placate him.” That made Beomgyu chuckle. 

Meanwhile Taehyun was quickly ushering Soobin inside. “Kai should be back any minute too, he’s just on an errand real quick. Thought you guys would get here sooner though,” he said, giving Soobin a questioning look. 

Soobin toed his shoes off and placed them beside Yeonjun’s chunky boots. “Sorry we’re late Taehyun-ah, I was baking and then we- uh Yeonjunnie hyung was um, busy, and had to just finish up some work before we left,” Soobin said, as Taehyun closed the door after him. The younger boy just raised an eyebrow.

“Uh huh, very busy I see,” he said smirking, poking the very obviously fresh hickey that remained uncovered by the dark wine-red hair on Soobin’s neck and available to prying eyes.

Soobin flushed scarlet. 

The two made their way to the living room, where they found Yeonjun and Beomgyu bickering on whether it was best to store the cake inside the fridge or out on the kitchen counter.

Soobin massaged his temples. “See what I have to live with everyday,” he said to Taehyun, gesturing to their two friends who were now chasing each other around the kitchen. “One day I’m going to change the key and lock them both outside to fend for themselves.”

Taehyun placed a hand on Soobin’s shoulder. “Hyung - both you and I know as well as they both do that you’d never have the guts to go through with it,” he laughed.

Soobin sighed in defeat. “Yeah, I know.”

The four of them turned when they heard the front door slam open noisily and a quick pattering of footsteps until Kai stood in the doorway - one hand carrying their delivery order of fried chicken, the other hoisting a clinking bag of bottles, and he raised both of them in victory.

“I have secured the goods!” Kai waved around the bags, making the bottles clink together dangerously. Soobin quickly ran to take both bags off his hands before an unwanted accident occurred. 

“Who let Kai be in charge of grocery shopping,” he said, peeking into the bags.

“He volunteered,” Taehyun shrugged.

“And he stole my card,” Beomgyu huffed, now locked in Yeonjun’s bear grip. Kai just grinned and ran to place an exaggerated wet smooch on Beomgyu’s cheek (which Beomgyu began to complain about but deep down he was secretly pleased with the friendly affection from his youngest friend) and slipped the credit card back into the pocket of Beomgyu’s jeans with a cheeky smile.

“You willingly pulled it out of your wallet and handed it to me, so no one really stole anything,” Kai smiled angelically, as Beomgyu and Taehyun just shared an exasperated look. “Anyways stop dawdling around and let’s get this party started!” 

“See? Kai gets me! It’s always a party with us around, baby!” Yeonjun exclaimed, throwing himself off of Beomgyu and flinging his arms around Taehyun and Kai instead.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes fondly, and escaped quickly to help Soobin unpack the bags Kai had brought before he was somehow tackled again. It seemed that the youngest had made some side ventures in the convenience store judging by the packs of sour gummies stashed underneath the bottles Soobin was pulling out. Beomgyu reached for the other bag to help.

“Fried chicken my love, how I’ve missed you,” Beomgyu cried happily, raising the box of heavenly crispy goodness above him like he was praising the gods. 

Soobin shook his head. “We literally had chicken as a late night snack last week.”

“That’s one week too long in my opinion.”

A comfortable silence sat between them as they set up everything, listening to Yeonjun and Taehyun squabble in the kitchen over the best way to make ramyeon followed by a howl of laughter from Hyuka. Since they were alone, Soobin nudged Beomgyu, giving him a concerned look. “You really sure you’re okay Gyu?”

“Geez eomma I’m fine,” Beomgyu groaned exaggeratedly. He then knocked shoulders with Soobin. “Seriously Soobin, I’m doing okay. More than okay now that you guys are here.” He gave his friend a soft smile. “I appreciate you always looking out for me though. Means a lot.”

“Just making sure,” Soobin replied. “Don’t need you raiding the freezer again at midnight stealing my cookie dough ice cream to ‘heal your heartbreak’,” he teased to lighten the mood. He then paused, and turned back to Beomgyu with eyebrows furrowed. “And that’s Soobin hyung to you - you know I’m still older, right? That hasn’t changed.”

“Urghhhh not this again! I am literally younger by just three months! Three! Months!” Beomgyu whined. “Why should I have to call you ‘hyung’?! C’mon even Kai doesn’t call Taehyunnie that and they have a bigger age gap than us!”

“Age gap? Are you guys talking about Yeonjunnie hyung being old again ‘cause I have a complaint to add to the list,” Kai interrupted, walking in holding a steaming ramyeon pot by its handles. He quickly placed it down on the table in front of the couch and then snatched a bag of gummies.

“Not my fault for not knowing all these new strange words you guys make up for things,” Yeonjun grumbled, walking in with Taehyun following close behind with another small pot. “What the hell is this ‘girl dinner’ you kept talking about?!”

“Maybe you’re just old, being born in a different century than the rest of us,” Beomgyu said, sticking his tongue out, and Kai let out a cackling laugh and leaned over to high-five Beomgyu. Soobin bit his lip to stop himself from smiling, but Yeonjun caught him.

“Binnie, not you too!?!” Yeonjun collapsed dramatically on the couch. “Everyone is against me!”

“Don’t be such a baby hyung, here look - I picked out the best piece of chicken just for you.”

“... fine I’ll let it slide just this once for being so cute.” He leaned in and gave his boyfriend a kiss which Soobin returned eagerly.

“Hey - this dorm is a PDA free zone! Can we just start eating already so Yeonjun stops trying to eat Soobin’s face off or something,” Kai protested weakly

“Awwww Kai baby if you wanted a kiss too you should have just asked!” Yeonjun exclaimed, puckering his lips and moved in to tackle the youngest with a smooch but Hyuka swiftly dodged it and escaped behind Taehyun, ears red.

Soobin quickly intervened. “Hyung enough teasing, let's eat please. I don't know about you but I’m starving!”

Taehyun quickly poured them all a first round of drinks, and with a piece of fried chicken in hand each, the boys all clinked their glasses together and started the night.

“Aaaaaa that hits the spot,” Yeonjun sighed, smacking his lips together. “Nothing better than fried chicken, a drink, and a pot of ramyeon,” 

“Mmm ’oodntargweemoore,” Beomgyu garbled through a mouth of noodles. He clapped a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stop stray noodles from escaping his mouth, ultimately failing and leaving a stain on his shirt.

“Hyung, eat with your mouth closed,” Taehyun reminded, passing him napkins to try and get rid of the mark on his shirt. Beomgyu took them with a sheepish nod of thanks. 

Soobin’s lips quirked up into a smile. “Beomgyu is so cute, I sometimes forget that Taehyunnie isn’t the older one out of you two.”

“Feels like that sometimes too - I'm actually the hyung and he's my cute little dongsaeng,” Taehyun joked, and Beomgyu elbowed him in the ribs. The blue haired boy just gave him a toothy grin, shiny pink lips parting to reveal his cute teeth with shark-like canines, and patted Beomgyu on the head. “Don’t worry Beomgyu -ah , hyung will always be here to look after you.”

Beomgyu tackled him into the couch, only to be soon shouting cries of ‘I surrender!!! I surrender, Tyunnie let me goooo’ as Taehyun quickly wrapped him in a headlock. Yeonjun and Kai watched with amused smiles while Soobin remained unbothered at the chaos he had induced, solely focused on munching away at his chicken piece.

“Great, you messed up my hair now,” Beomgyu grumbled after being released from Taehyun’s headlock. 

“Here hyung I’ll fix it for you,” Hyuka said, leaning forward to pat Beomgyu’s hair down.

The brown haired boy turned to stick his tongue out at Taehyun. “See - this is why Kai is my favourite.”

Kai gave Beomgyu a look. “Hyung, I’m flattered, but we both know that’s not true.” Kai let out a high pitched shriek as Beomgyu attacked him with a blanket in an attempt to smother him into silence. They wrestled around on the floor, and Soobin carefully pulled the table closer to himself and further away from the action to prevent any food related accidents.

Yeonjun turned to an unfazed Taehyun who was now sitting back, still with a smug smile after defeating Beomgyu. He was flicking through movies on their TV. “So what are we starting with tonight? I say we watch High School Musical 2,” Yeonjun exclaimed excitedly.

Beomgyu let out a groan as he pushed Kai off of him, flopping back onto the couch beside Taehyun. “Not again.”

Yeonjun gave a mock gasp. “I am offended that you, as a music major, do not appreciate the musical artistry that is the High School Musical franchise.”

Beomgyu ignored him and leaned into Taehyun next to him, plastering on his classic puppy-eyed pouting face. “C’mon Tyunnie don’t listen to him. Can I choose a movie pleaseeee?”

“And what would I get out of it?” Taehyun said, tapping the remote against his chin.

Beomgyu hummed in thought for a moment. “My friendship and affection?”

He shook his head. “Pass, you gotta make me a better offer than that,” Taehyun teased.

“What could be better than my friendship Kang Taehyun?!” Beomgyu huffed. He then brought his face as close as he could to the younger’s so he couldn’t avoid his gaze. “Do you want my eternal love and adoration too?”

"... I-Ice cream would have been just fine." The tips of Taehyun's ears were pink, but they were covered by his pastel blue hair. He quickly shoved the remote to Beomgyu who let out a whoop of joy. “Just no horror movies please,” he said, crossing his arms. (Soobin coughed something that suspiciously sounded like ‘whipped’ - but he was immediately silenced by a pillow to the head, courtesy of Taehyun.)

After a bit of bickering with Yeonjun, they finally settled on Knives Out - because Chris Evans and TheWhiteSweater™ of course - and the five quieted down and settled in to focus on the film. 

Beomgyu was so absorbed in watching the drama and mystery unfold that he was startled when halfway through the movie Taehyun visibly jumped next to him at the loud bang on screen. Beomgyu turned to see the younger man clinging to his shirt.

He smiled. “Hyunnie, it’s not even a horror movie,” he whispered just for the two of them to hear. 

“I wasn’t scared, I just... wasn't expecting it, that's all,” Taehyun hissed through his teeth. He was still clinging to Beomgyu. The older boy couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on his face. Taehyun really was just too cute sometimes.

“Don’t worry Taehyun-ah, I’ll protect you,” Beomgyu said teasingly, patting him on the head. Taehyun just slapped his arm playfully in response and refilled his glass with soju, throwing the drink back in one shot. Beomgyu held out his own for a refill and Taehyun raised an eyebrow.

“You sure hyung? How much have you had already tonight - I don’t want you throwing up on our carpet again. Kai was not happy last time.”

“Pshhh I can handle my alcohol.” Taehyun just gave him a look. “Ok, maybe I handle it not so well, but let me have this tonight, okay?”

Taehyun begrudgingly poured him a drink and Beomgyu gulped down his shot, wiping his mouth against the back of his hand. He gave a slight hiccup and both he and Taehyun froze, before bursting into soft giggles.

Beomgyu shuffled on the couch and closed the space between them as leaned his head against the younger’s shoulder with a content sigh. They both then turned back to the movie, but Beomgyu couldn’t focus on the plot with his brain feeling a little fuzzy around the edges as his body tingled from the alcohol.

Two movies later, three fried chicken boxes and two ramyeon pots emptied, and several drinks downed (the cake was quickly put to the side after the boys discovered that Soobin had somehow used paprika instead of cinnamon - Kai still licked the frosting though) - all five boys had ended up sprawled over Taehyun and Kai’s dorm living room in various stages of tipsy. 

Yeonjun and Beomgyu probably had the worst tolerance of the five (as much as Beomgyu would love to deny it). Yeonjun was now at the point of professing his love for everyone and everything repeatedly for the past ten minutes, and Beomgyu’s own cheeks were flushed a warm pink and he was feeling the continuous urge to shout his thoughts at any given moment with every drink he took. Kai, who although did well with drinking, was the kind of person to feed off of the energy of other tipsy people - so putting him in a room with Yeonjun and Beomgyu made him less than helpful. 

Soobin was a bit more of a responsible drinker, though after a few drinks he was now beaming fond smiles at them all, and after a few more he would soon be rubbing his eyes sleepily and yawning non-stop before he knocked out. Taehyun on the other hand, through all Beomgyu’s years of knowing him, had never once shown any outright drunk tendencies. Whereas Beomgyu started to get tipsy after a can of beer, Taehyun’s cheeks would only be tinted the lightest shade of pink after several rounds of drinking - he was usually the only one by the end who could form coherent sentences. 

At some point halfway through the second movie, Kai had gotten bored and suggested they bust out the karaoke mics. And since no one could ever say no to Kai, five minutes later with the small table and empty containers pushed to the side, microphones in hand and lyrics on the screen, Beomgyu and Hyuka were screaming their hearts out to Paramore’s ‘Still into you’, exaggeratingly acting out the lyrics as Yeonjun stood on the couch hyping them. Soobin and Taehyun suppressed laughs behind their phones, recording videos that would surely be brought back up at a later date as blackmail.

They were definitely making enemies of Taehyun and Kai’s dorm neighbours with the noise, but in the moment none of them cared. Song after song, the five of them danced around the living room in their own personal concert. Taehyun even joked at one point that maybe in another lifetime the five of them could have formed a band. 

(“And I would be the leader,” Kai said, puffing out his chest in pride. The others rolled their eyes playfully. “Sure thing Ning,” Soobin said, patting the boy on the back. Kai just beamed.)

“Wooooooo I loveeeeeeee you guyssss. I really reallyyyyy love you guys soooooooo much,” Yeonjun exclaimed, the microphone in his hand letting out a small screech of feedback. He just burst into another fit of giggles and collapsed his weight onto Kai who was standing next to him. After his tipsy declarations of love into the microphone, Yeonjun attempted to give a flustered blushing Kai a kiss again while an endeared Soobin watched the two of them with sparkling eyes.

Hmm veryyyy interesting, Beomgyu noted to himself, taking another sip of soju. He licked his lips in satisfaction at the taste.

“Huh? What’s interesting hyung?” Taehyun leaned closer. He had collapsed on the couch next to Beomgyu after an exhausting rendition of Twice’s ‘Dance the Night Away’ with Kai, choreo and all. 

Taehyunnie can read minds now!!?! Wow… what can’t he do?

Taehyun giggled. “Beomgyu hyung - as cool as it would be to read minds, it’s actually just you speaking your thoughts out loud.”

“ Oh .” Beomgyu slapped a hand over his mouth as if to stop his thoughts from escaping. Taehyun smiled, his eyes crinkling up the way they did when he was amused. Instead of focusing on the way Taehyun’s face was glowing angelically in the light of the TV screen, Beomgyu tried to steer his attention to Soobin and Yeonjun beginning to shout ‘Da masyeo, masyeo, masyeo, masyeo nae suljan’ along to BTS’ Dionysus with their glasses in the air. Thankfully Yeonjun’s glass was empty as he began to bust out fully choreographed moves.

He must have zoned out in his own thoughts, because before he knew it the song had come to an end and Kai sneakily grabbed the remote from where it was discarded on the other couch next to Beomgyu. “I’m choosing the next song!” he exclaimed noisily.

Yeonjun slumped on top of Kai. “No moreeee, my head hurts. The room is spinning and I can see three Soobins.”

“I think that’s enough drinking for you tonight hyung, lucky you don’t have any weekend lessons to teach,” Soobin said, taking Yeonjun’s empty glass out of his hand and placing it on the table, before plopping himself into the vacant armchair across the room. 

“But it’s still too early to sleep,” Kai pouted, crossing his arms.

Taehyun took a sip from the can in his hand then glanced at his roommate with an eyebrow raised. “Kai it’s 11 pm, most nights you’re knocked out by 10.”

“Touche. But tonight’s special! It’s not everyday that we get to hang out like this and let loose!”

Soobin hummed, sitting up in his armchair. “Hyuka’s right, when’s the last time we sat together and had fun like this?”

“Not since before all these midterms were up our asses, I’m so glad it's all over,” Beomgyu mumbled, leaning his head on Taehyun’s shoulder again.  

“Hmmm you know what? I think with everything going on lately, tonight is the perfect night to open up ‘Soobin couch therapy’ for clients again,” Soobin said with a clap, putting on his black-framed blue light glasses with a flourish.

As the resident fifth year psychology student in their friend group, Soobin regularly had what Yeonjun had dubbed as ‘couch therapy sessions’, where the others would lament to Soobin about their problems and he gives them his five dollar worthy advice. It was usually honestly more of a glorified gossip session that Soobin would use as his psychology practice - notepad and all. But the others knew Soobin deeply cared for them and that they could always rely on him in times of need.

“Ooh, gossip! Meeee me first!” Kai jumped up, throwing Yeonjun off of him and ran to the couch next to Soobin’s armchair where Beomgyu sat. “I have juicy complaints I need to air about my group mates I have for my final assessment-”

“No way! I should have first dibs as his boyfriend!” Yeonjun tugged on Kai’s hoodie to slow him down. 

“You get him to yourself everyday! If anyone needs Soobin-therapy right now it’s me,” Beomgyu huffed childishly, laying down on the couch on his stomach with his arms spread so the others couldn’t take his spot. His socked feet dangled over Taehyun’s lap, who was seated on the other end of the couch watching his friends scuffle with amused eyes.

Kai launched himself from Yeonjun’s grasp and on top of Beomgyu, trying to wrestle the other off the couch. Yeonjun joined the dogpile which was now toppling dangerously with the three very tall, very tipsy men battling for the spot on the couch with poor Taehyun being squished up against the arm of the couch and trying to avoid being kicked in the face.

“Now now, no need to fight over me I know I’m popular-” Soobin started.

“You’re not,” the other four said immediately in unison.

Soobin ignored them and continued, “But one at a time please.”

Beomgyu suddenly mustered the strength to push the other two boys off of him and they tumbled onto the blankets on the floor where they lay in defeat. “AHA! I win!” Beomgyu shouted, standing on the couch and fist raised in the air in triumph. He wobbled a bit in his stance, and Taehyun grabbed his arm to drag him to sit back down. 

Yeonjun just sighed, face planting into the pillow beneath him. “Fine, but I’m next then!”

Kai just lifted the blanket he was on, shoving Yeonjun into it and rolling him across the floor like a burrito. “Not if I can help it!” He then lay down on top of the pile of blankets that was Yeonjun, and the two of them giggled quietly again.

Meanwhile, Soobin had produced a notebook out of thin air and flipped it open to a new page. “So, Choi Beomgyu, what is your complaint of the week-”

“Wait, where did the notebook come from?” Taehyun interrupted.

“A good psychologist is always prepared Taehyunnie,” Soobin replied, clicking his pen. His tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he began to write something on the page, albeit with a slightly wobbly hand, and tilted his head as if it would make his tipsy writing legible. He then gestured his hand towards Beomgyu to talk.

Beomgyu sighed. “Soobin hyung, I hate men.”

“Hey!” came the indignant cry from Yeonjun. 

“Not you guys, obviously. But it's just... why is it so h-hard to find someone who fits my type?”

“So you’re saying is that none of the people you’ve dated were your type?” Taehyun questioned, taking another sip of his drink, eyes closed. How the boy wasn’t drunk, Beomgyu had no idea.

“It’s not that they weren’t my type,” Beomgyu waved his hands about, trying to find the right words. “They were, but... don’t know - none of them ever seemed to- to last. Maybe it’s just a me... thing?” he rambled.

“Maybe you just gotta broaden your horizons,” Kai said dramatically, stretching his hands out. “Switch it up – date a bad boy who rides motorbikes or something, that’s hot.”

“You think guys who ride motorbikes are hot?” Soobin questioned, cheeks pink. Kai wiggled his eyebrows as he got off of where he was sitting on Yeonjun, and made his way to Soobin’s armchair. 

“Maybe,” he said with a smile. He grabbed Soobin’s notebook and pen and sat himself on Soobin’s lap, and Yeonjun began to giggle at his boyfriend’s reddening face. Kai took no notice, ignoring Soobin’s protests and he ripped out a new page and began writing. “Anyways, I’m making you a new and improved list of ‘Choi Beomgyu’s ideally ideal type’,” Kai announced.

“Hyuka, what h-happened to you not being my psychoco-psycono-psy?” Beomgyu stumbled over the word, alcohol making his head foggy.

Taehyun chuckled. “Psychologist, hyung.”

“Yes! That! What happened to that, huh Hyuka?” Beomgyu teased, referring to what the younger boy had told him earlier that day.

“This isn’t psychology - honey, this is cupid,” Hyuka said, flipping his imaginary long locks hair. The other four giggled.

Beomgyu lolled his head back on the couch and sighed in mock defeat. “Fine, ‘cupid’ me up I guess,” he laughed. He poured himself another shot, and threw it back in one hit with cheers from Yeonjun and Kai. He winced at the bitter taste but it soon dissolved into a warm bubbling feeling in his chest. His whole body was buzzing.

“Okay, so what does this ideally ideal person look like?” Kai started. He had snatched Soobin’s glasses and perched them on top of his own head. 

Beomgyu hummed thoughtfully. “Honestly, I never really... thought 'bout it.”

“Boooo boring,” Yeonjun called out, still wrapped in a burrito of blankets on the floor with no desire to move.

“I don’t knowww!” Beomgyu drawled, throwing his hands up. He tried to wrack his brain for maybe actors or idols he had ever found attractive. “Maybe someone with... d-dark hair? Dark black hair is sexyyyy, right?”

“Dark hair,” Kai parroted, writing something down on the paper, Soobin peering over his shoulder. “What else?”

“Hmmm… maybe someone older? I’ve always...dated younger guys, or people the s-same age - maybe that’s...the problem. And, and! Someone strong, ya know? Like that kind of a-attractive buff, gentle but still strong enough to throw you around kind of.” 

“Damnnn Choi Beomgyu, didn’t know you were into that,” Yeonjun snickered.

“You dunno 'lot about me.” Beomgyu squinted his eyes at the bright ceiling light. The alcohol was definitely starting to catch up to him now. His tongue felt loose and words formed on the tip of his tongue ready to come out with no real rhyme or reason - and he couldn’t find himself to care. It was all in good fun anyways , he thought in the back of his mind.

Beomgyu was rambling nonsense now. “N-n-not just buff buff for no reason but the kinda guy that... looks like they know h-how to do one of those cool sports like judoooo or boxing or something. P-pow pow! Actuallyyyy... anyone just like, s-superrrr buff-”

“Like Chris Evans - c’mon he’s n-not America’s ass for nothing,” Yeonjun piped up, slurring his words as he spoke. Kai nodded in agreement. “Speak your truth Junnie hyung!”

Beomgyu giggled. The lights were now spinning above him in his vision. “Exactlyyyy,” he drawled.

“So you like them buff, older, and hot as fuck? So basically a DILF,” Soobin said, listing them off his fingers.

“Stop projecting Soobin hyung, we all know what you're into - you date Yeonjun hyung,” Taehyun spoke up.

“DAMNNNN,” Hyuka shouted, bursting into another fit of giggles while Soobin blushed and told Taehyun to hush. The blue haired boy just raised an eyebrow and lips curved into a slight smirk, swirling the drink in his glass. 

“Wait - I’m the DILF?! I’m not that much older than you guys?!” Yeonjun protested, brain finally catching up with the conversation.

“No noooo, maybe Soobin hyung has the *hic* right idea-” Beomgyu interrupted. (“Nooo I told you guys I’m not into that I swear,” Soobin whined in the background) “Older guys are kinda hot - s-sue me. Like they don’t mess around... they’re a bit more serious - ooh! And like... especiallyyy with a bit of a beard like men with beards are hotttt but not just hot like they are... are-" Beomgyu's words were becoming more and more slurred as he spoke "-that k-kind of sexy smart too, someone who, w-who likes to read - that’s hot like just imagineeee like... like, black framed... the w-windows for your eyes. Oh! Glassesssss." He giggled again before containing his drunken rant. "And they, t-those dudes, they're usuallyyyyy those guys who cook as a-a hobby - gosh can you i-imagine a guy cooking y-you a wholeeeeee-ass breakfast, isn’t that just the mosttttt a-attractive-”

“Beoms you’re getting... a bit side t-tracked here,” Yeonjun said with droopy eyes and a soft smile, amused at his friend’s drunk ramblings. Taehyun was frowning at his drink, eyes slightly furrowed like they usually did when he was thinking. Beomgyu opened his mouth to ask him what was wrong, when he was interrupted by Hyuka - and the thought disappeared from his mind.

“No, no! This is perfect,” Kai said, continuously scratching words out on the notebook in his usually messy handwriting. Whatever was on that list was beyond Beomgyu at this point. He couldn’t even remember half the things he had just blurted out.

Soobin yawned and squinted his eyes at the paper. “What even is this list?”

“It’s my cupid list for Beomgyu hyung. Just you wait hyungie, I’m going to set you up with the perfect man,” Kai said to Beomgyu confidently. 

“I’m never letting you take over my couch therapy again,” Soobin grumbled, but his fond eyes betrayed him.

“You love me too much to ever do that,” Kai winked back.

“Um, guys? I think Yeonjun hyung passed out,” Taehyun interrupted. The other two turned their heads to check. Beomgyu’s own head felt so heavy at this point and his limbs felt like jelly that all he could manage was to open his eyes a peek to see Yeonjun fast asleep with his mouth hanging open, still wrapped in blankets.

“I swear he was awake a minute ago, guess it means it’s time to wrap things up,” Soobin sighed, rubbing his temples. “There’s no getting him home like that.” He stifled another yawn.

“Don’t worry, I had a feeling that you guys would be sleeping over tonight anyways. There’s no way I’m letting any of you leave and drive in the state you’re in,” Taehyun replied, pushing himself up off the couch. “I’ll grab you guys some extra blankets and pillows. Make yourselves comfy.”

Beomgyu felt his own body floating in drowsiness as he watched Kai and Soobin lift Yeonjun onto the other couch and place a pillow under his head. Soobin brushed the hair out of his boyfriend’s face with gentle hands.

Taehyun returned and helped Soobin set up blankets to sleep, and the three of them quickly cleaned up the mess around the room. After, Kai gave both Taehyun and Soobin a goodnight hug, and came over to give Beomgyu a quick goodnight kiss on the forehead before heading to his own room. The brown haired boy hummed in acknowledgment at the gesture, smiling. Everything was so warm. His eyes felt so heavy, maybe he should just close them-

“Hyung, your eyes look like they are about to close any second. Let’s get you to bed, c’mon up you get,” Taehyun said, shaking the other boy lightly. Without opening his eyes Beomgyu latched onto Taehyun’s arm and tugged at it.

“Tyunnnniieeeeeee Tyunnie Tyun ’hyunnn,” Beomgyu giggled out his name. He waved for Taehyun to come closer with drooping eyes, flushed cheeks, and a beaming smile. The boy obeyed, leaning in so he was close to Beomgyu’s pink lips to hear the boy speak, watching as his tongue darted out to moisten them. Beomgyu then whispered loudly, “Tyunnieeeee hehehe I can’t f-feel my legssss I think I forgot h-how to stand. Carry me pleaseeeee?”

Taehyun stood back up and exhaled exasperatedly through his nostrils. “I am not carrying you, I did warn you not to drink so much. I’ll help you walk, or you can forget it - you can sleep on the couch like the others-”

“Nooooo pleaseeeeee please please please Taehyun. I’ll do *hic* a-anythinggggg pleaseeee. Will you carry me if I g-get Soobin to do aegyo for you, HEY SOOB-”

A hand plastered itself over Beomgyu’s mouth to stop him from shouting “Okay okay! No need to wake up the whole dorm building, I’ll carry you, just stop shouting.” 

Taehyun then wrenched his hand away from Beomgyu’s mouth with an incredulous look on his face. 

“Did you seriously just lick my hand?”

Beomgyu just giggled again and held his arms up like a child ready to be carried, eyes sparkling. Taehyun just sighed again, glancing above him like some miraculous being would somehow descend and do the job for him. He then leant forward so Beomgyu could wrap his arms around Taehyuns neck and then scooped up his legs and carried the older drunk boy princess style. 

“G'night Soobieeee,” Beomgyu whisper-shouted, and the boy waved at him from the living room with an endeared smile, before settling down on the now-vacant couch to sleep.  

Taehyun carried Beomgyu to his own room, with the older boy whispering and babbling nonsense into Taehyun’s ear. Finally making it into his room, Taehyun placed Beomgyu down on his bed, then went back to close his bedroom door so as to not disturb the others. 

Beomgyu rolled over on Taehyun’s duvet, spreading his arms and legs out like a starfish. His brown hair lay splayed out messily on Taehyun’s pillow, like some kind of halo. He turned his head to the side to squint through hazy eyes at the younger boy, who was now rummaging through his drawers for something.

“Taehyunnnnnn hey Taehyun,” he murmured. 

Taehyun turned his head to glance back at him. “Hold on hyung I’m just getting you a change of clothes.” He looked the other boy up and down and shook his head with a faint smile. “You’re not sleeping with a stained shirt, I am not getting ramyeon sauce onto my sheets.”

He quickly pulled out a hoodie, a soft baby blue one that Beomgyu recognised even in his drunk haze as one that Taehyun had owned since high school. 

“Arms up hyung,” Taehyun ordered gently. Beomgyu surprisingly sat up immediately with his arms raised, and Taehyun pulled him out of his shirt. The cool night air from Taehyun’s open window rushed in and made goosebumps prickle over Beomgyu’s skin, but Taehyun’s hands on him felt warm. The younger boy quickly helped him place his arms and head through the fresh hoodie, and Beomgyu fell back onto the soft bed again, content - closing his eyes as Taehyun walked out of the room quietly to deposit his shirt in the wash. 

Beomgyu turned his head towards where Taehyun had just left, and his eyes fell to the bedside table. There was a lamp placed beside the small star ceiling projector Beomgyu had bought Taehyun for his fifteenth birthday. In front of that was a frame of a younger version of the two of them, arms around each other’s shoulders and wide toothy grins as they sat on the back porch steps of Taehyun’s house. A small Pikachu sticker sat wedged between the frame and glass. Beomgyu smiled.

It felt almost comical, looking back, that a lifelong friendship had formed out of something so trivial. Beomgyu remembered it all like it was just yesterday - a family had just moved in down the street, and five year old Beomgyu had sat on a bench outside the nearby convenience store swinging his legs watching people unpack furniture out of the large moving truck, a packet of Pokemon bread in his hands. 

He didn’t really care for Pokemon (still really didn’t), but he did very much love the bread - his older brother would be thankful for the sticker it came with anyways. He had just gone to take a big bite of the fluffy airy soft bread when a bright-eyed new face popped into view. 

“Wow! A Pikachu sticker! You’re so lucky,” the newcomer had exclaimed, sighing with a mix of admiration and jealousy. Beomgyu had frozen, the hand holding his bread frozen and mouth still wide open. 

“Um, thanks?” Beomgyu had said, still quite unsure what was happening. The other boy hopped up onto the bench next to him without an invitation. 

“Pikachu is so cool, and it’s the only sticker missing from my collection,” the other boy said, swinging his feet in time with Beomgyu’s. “You’re lucky you managed to get it!”

Beomgyu hesitated, then shrugged. “You can have it if you want, I was just going to give it to my brother anyways - I really only wanted the bread.”

The other boy’s large eyes somehow grew larger if possible, sparkling in the warm sunlight of the summer afternoon. “Do you mean that!? Thank you thank you thank you!” He stuck his hand out for Beomgyu to shake. “I’m Kang Taehyun, I’m four and five months, and I just moved in down the street!” he said happily. Beomgyu couldn’t help but stare, wonderstruck by the assurance and confidence in which the other boy moved and talked. He took the outstretched hand and shook it.

“Choi Beomgyu - I live in the house on the corner.”

Taehyun gave him a large toothy grin. “It’s very nice to meet you, neighbour Choi Beomgyu!” 

The rest of the summer afternoon was spent with Taehyun chatting away about Pokemon as Beomgyu asked him questions, the bread now halved and shared between the two boys. Stomach full and heart warm, Beomgyu couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of a new friend. 

And to think that simple encounter had been the start of so much more - from summers spent catching tadpoles in the nearby creek to birthdays spent by each other's side, cloudy mornings and sunny afternoons walking alongside the sidewalk to and from school together, and sleepovers spent with nights chatting away instead of sleeping. Beomgyu remembered crying on his front doorstep refusing to go to school the first year of middle school, where he would be separated from Taehyun. The younger boy had just taken his hand and walked with him to his new school, and waved goodbye to him at the gates before heading back to go to his own. So much of his life was entwined with Taehyun’s, it would feel wrong at this point to not have him in his life. 

“What’s got you thinking so quietly all of the sudden?” Taehyun said, returning with a glass of water which he placed on the bedside table beside Beomgyu. 

“Hmm… Pokemon bread,” Beomgyu hummed. “And you. T-thinking… crazyyyy that a, a Pichu, sticker made us friends.”

“Pikachu , hyung,” Taehyun laughed. “After all these years I thought I could have taught you that much.”

“To-mae-toooo, toe-matoooo,” Beomgyu sang tipsily, flopping his hands about and closing his eyes again. “They are y-yellowww and look the same to me.”

“Okay I think it’s time you got some rest now. Drink some water so you don’t wake up parched and dehydrated tomorrow,” Taehyun instructed, helping the other boy sit up again to drink the water. Beomgyu gulped down the glass without complaint and lay back down as Taehyun tucked him under the blankets.

“Take such… such good care of me Tyunnieeeeee. Too nice to me…”

Taehyun just smiled. “Goodnight hyung,” he whispered, and turned to walk out. 

“Waitttt Taehyunnie Taehyunnie,” Beomgyu drawled, clutching at Taehyun’s arm. With a soft sigh Taehyun turned back around and sat himself on the side of the bed next to Beomgyu. Something in the older boy itched to drag the other to lay down beside him, to feel the warmth of his body next to his own.

“Yes hyung?” Taehyun questioned patiently, with the utmost attention and care. Beomgyu felt that strange tingling warmth in his chest again.

“Taehyun-ahhhh, you know, this is a- a seeeecret between you-“ he poked the other’s firm chest, “and me, you and me Taehyun-ahh,” Beomgyu mumbled. 

Taehyun seemed to be holding back a laugh, but he just smiled fondly and brushed back Beomgyu’s hair from his forehead.  “Sure thing Beomgyu hyung, what is it?”

“I think… I think i’s me, I’mmaproblemmm,” Beomgyu said, words garbled together. “Ev’rytime this happens, it feels like me, like I cause it. I put my whole, my wholeeee heart in. Like, like… I get too hope- too hopeful? That maybe… maybe this, he - this person is the one. But I ruin things. How come it never w-works out?”

Beomgyu's mind was spinning. Today’s breakup would mark the end of his eighth relationship. It just felt so frustrating that things never seemed to work out. He just kept thinking about today, about his breakup, about the silly list they had made with the mindless unimportant traits - truth be told, Beomgyu didn’t even know what his type was anymore. It was all in good fun earlier (and who knows where that list ended up after the night ended), but thinking about it made his heart ache, because none of those things he had listed were things he truly cared about or wanted. 

Taehyun looked like he wanted to interrupt but the words were flowing out of Beomgyu without a filter, so jumbled together from the alcohol taking control of his tongue that Taehyun had to listen carefully to understand what Beomgyu was saying.

“Just, why. Why is so hardddd to find, to find… someone?" Beomgyu's hand gripped tighter on Taehyun's sleeve despite his drunk state. "Y’know, s-s-someone who is interested in m' interestssss, and, and knows things ‘bout me and my things. Small things… like c-coffee, how I like... it each day, or, or something romantic… even just, don’t know. Walkin' home ‘gether. Small th-things. Feels like, I alwayssss put in effort for romance, but- but the other person, doesn’t. Doesn’t care like me. Wan’ someone to know me, ‘n love me… like you do,” he slurred. In the midst of his drunk ramblings he didn’t seem to notice the way Taehyun had frozen, eyes locked on to where Beomgyu was clutching his arm still.

Taehyun slowly reached a hand out and put it over Beomgyu’s to slowly remove its grip on his arm. He then interlaced their fingers over the blanket. “Hyung… it’s not your fault. One day, a perfect someone just for you will come into your life, okay? You still have forever to find love, there’s no rush.”

Beomgyu hesitantly nodded, then stifled a yawn. Taehyun smiled gently, but there was something in his eyes Beomgyu couldn’t quite place. “Think it’s time for you to sleep now, ok?”

The older boy squeezed his hand. “Sleep with me? Pleaseeee? Just like... like old times?”

That got Taehyun to crack a proper smile. He rolled his eyes. “Fine, but you’re sleeping next to the wall.”

He got up and quickly changed into a pair of loose shorts and a thin plain tshirt. Beomgyu couldn’t stop his eyes from roaming over the planes of the other boy’s back shamelessly as the other stretched his arms over his head to take off his shirt. Beomgyu’s gut twisted, looking away and closing his eyes quickly as Taehyun turned back around. 

Taehyun crawled into bed, pulling the covers over both of them, and then turned onto his side. “Goodnight hyung.”

Beomgyu hummed. There was silence for a minute, the only sound in the room being the soft breathing of the two of them.

“… Can I be big spoon, pleaseeeee.”

A huff of laughter from Taehyun. “Only for tonight.”

Beomgyu quickly lurched forward to wrap his arms around Taehyun’s middle, throwing a leg over the other boy’s. A comforting warmth flooded his senses and his heart thumped loudly in his ears. It felt so right. This always felt so right.

As the alcohol finally got a proper hold of him and he began to drift off into dreamland, Beomgyu couldn’t help thinking that he wouldn’t mind if he did this every night for the rest of his life. 

It just felt right with Taehyun. Like the final puzzle piece clicking into place to create the picture he was connecting the whole time.

Someone to know him, to love him, just like Taehyun did. 

Like Taehyun.

Like Taehyun.

Oh, I like Taehyun.

That was the last thing that registered in his mind before he blacked out into a deep sleep.

***

Shuffling noises outside the door roused Beomgyu from his sleep. Sunlight was now streaming through the window onto the bed, and the covers were thrown off and tangled around Beomgyu’s legs. Rolling over and groaning, Beomgyu stuffed his face into the pillow beneath his head to shield his eyes from the sun. It was too early for this, and his head was pounding with an oncoming headache. The space beside him was empty and the sheets felt cold.

But perhaps rolling onto his stomach had been the wrong move, because the added pressure made something in his stomach shift, and suddenly Beomgyu felt the urge to puke. He quickly scrambled out from under the covers and stumbled out of the room, hand over his mouth and hair resembling that of a bird’s nest. Beomgyu quickly made his way to the bathroom at the end of the hallway, and somehow managed to close the door before he knelt down over the toilet to throw up.

Beomgyu groaned. 

Definitely shouldn’t have drank that much last night, he thought to himself as he pushed himself up onto shaky legs, flushing the toilet. 

Digging around in the cabinet under the bathroom sink, Beomgyu quickly found his toothbrush (yes, his toothbrush - he’d stayed at Taehyun and Kai’s dorm enough times for him to have his own toiletries) and set about brushing his teeth to get rid of the horrible taste in his mouth.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, rubbing at his eyes sleepily with one hand. His head still felt a bit fuzzy after yesterday, memories hazy. Beomgyu remembered coming over after his breakup, he remembered watching movies, screaming karaoke songs until his throat was sore, and something about a paprika cake? Things started to get a bit muddled after that in his head.

Beomgyu leaned his back against the door and hummed as he switched his toothbrush to the other side of his mouth. He paused for a moment. Really hope I didn’t say anything embarrassing last night . He shook his head, pushing that out of his mind, and turned back to the sink to spit out the toothpaste and rinse his mouth. 

Looking into the mirror again, he began to pat down his hair, running his fingers through the mess to get it somewhat tamed. The sleeves of the blue hoodie fell down from his wrists and pooled at his elbows, and he paused. Blue hoodie? When did he put this on… this wasn’t his. In fact, it looked awfully a lot like Taehyun’s hoodie…

He was suddenly hit with a flood of fractured bits of the night before - being carried in Taehyun’s arms, Taehyun taking care of him and bringing him to his room, giving Beomgyu his hoodie, soft familiar fingers brushing his hair back, Beomgyu drunkenly babbling to Taehyun about his hidden worries, the younger boy’s broad strong back in his view as Beomgyu put his arms around him, Beomgyu’s last thoughts before he fell aslee-

Shit.

Oh shit.

‘I like Taehyun’.

Holy, fucking, shit.

Beomgyu’s eyes widened, and his mouth hung open as his hands gripped the edge of the sink. It felt like he had been doused with a bucket of ice cold water. 

This was bad. Bad bad. Real bad. The very worst kind of bad. The ruining-lifelong-friendships-because-of-a-crush kind of bad. 

Beomgyu had experienced that kind of bad before - he had dated friends and acquaintances, and even though they ended on amicable terms their friendship never really went back to the way it was, and they often drifted apart after.

But they weren’t Taehyun. Taehyun - why of all people, why did it have to be Taehyun?!

They were like besties! Bros! Amigos! Compadres for life! Taehyun would always joke how Beomgyu was like his cute younger brother… he had even said that again just last night too. Beomgyu groaned internally. He had doomed himself to the friendzoned years ago, unintentionally. It had felt right then, but now - it all felt so wrong. This was all wrong.

He wasn’t meant to have feelings for Taehyun. Taehyun - sweet, kind, perfect Taehyun. Taehyun who always made Beomgyu feel heard and seen, Taehyun who listened with attentive eyes - all his focus purely on Beomgyu, Taehyun who knew all his likes and dislikes, his secrets and fears, Taehyun who knew Beomgyu better than Beomgyu knew himself. His Taehyun.

Taehyun. He liked Kang Taehyun. 

Oh god, I’m a horrible person, Beomgyu realised in horror. He had just broken up with his boyfriend not even a day ago, now to somehow suddenly fall for his best friend.

But was it really sudden, or did you always feel like this , a voice nagged in the back of his mind. Beomgyu paled at the thought. He fell into a spiral of sudden re-analysation of every relationship he had ever been in and if he had really been in love with Taehyun through each and every one of them. The words of one of his ex-boyfriends, Heesung, rang clear in his mind.

“Sorry Gyu… you’re a great guy but I think we are just better off as friends? It’s a bit hard to compete for your love and attention when your eyes are on your best friend.”

That had been over four years ago, his last relationship before he graduated high school. Heesung had indeed remained friends with Beomgyu after their breakup, but they had lost touch when the other moved overseas for university. Beomgyu remembered being so confused by the other’s words back then and even though they had laughed it off, Beomgyu had never really stopped to think about his words deeper. 

But it made sense now. How bad was it that even his ex-boyfriend had realised Beomgyu’s own feelings before Beomgyu himself?! If it was really that obvious to everyone else… oh god, was it obvious to Taehyun too???

That thought alone made Beomgyu feel like throwing up again. 

At this point, he didn’t know if this could even be considered a crush. A crush was fleeting attraction, surface level feelings with the potential to bloom into something more. But Taehyun - when Beomgyu thought of Taehyun, the warmth spreading through him was like a tangle of thick branches fully bloomed with flowers, rooted deeply in his heart with dense roots that had sprouted up thick and fast all throughout his body over years and years without him noticing. This was far too deep to be something as reversible as a crush. It was more.

And the worst part was, Taehyun definitely didn’t like him back. In the eighteen years of knowing Taehyun, Beomgyu had only ever seen the younger boy have one crush. He doesn’t know who it was, but he does remember the bright red of Taehyun’s face as Beomgyu had badgered the then thirteen year old boy about who he liked. Taehyun’s whole face had turned a pretty flushing red - from his ears, to his cheeks still retaining some of his baby fat, all the way down his neck, and he had clamped his hands over his ears to block out Beomgyu’s giggles, refusing to tell him.

Taehyun had never looked at Beomgyu like that. 

The reality was, Taehyun and Beomgyu were best friends - Beomgyu liked Taehyun, but Taehyun didn’t and definitely wouldn’t ever like Beomgyu. Taehyun was always about comfort, familiarity. That’s why his circle of friends was so close knit - he didn’t really open himself up to strangers. Beomgyu knew Taehyun took comfort in the stability of their friendship - it was one thing that felt like it would never change or break. 

And now it was at risk because of Beomgyu’s stupid feelings. Should he just confess to clear the air, to try and get over it? But that would probably make things incredibly awkward and horrible, and Beomgyu could lose the best friendship he has ever had. Not that he thought Taehyun would be the kind of person to ever distance himself because of that, but the fear of the slight possibility that he would… it was too horrible to even consider. 

Beomgyu was fucked. Horribly and utterly fucked. 

“Beomssss open up I need to piss,” Yeonjun yelled from behind the door, hands banging against the doorframe which startled Beomgyu out of his daze. 

“Uh, o-one minute hyung!” Beomgyu shouted. He was still reeling from having the most earth-shattering universe-realigning realisation in his twenty-three years of life within the past five minutes, all in the small four walls of the shared bathroom of Taehyun and Kai’s dorm room.

“Seriously Beomgyu I’m going to open the door, I don’t care if you’re rubbing one out or whatever. I actually really need to piss so bad I’m about to bust. If I end up busting outside the door on the carpet I’m telling Taehyun it's your fault and-”

Beomgyu fumbled with the handle and opened the door, and the other boy stumbled through and ran to the toilet. Yeonjun sighed in relief and Beomgyu turned away to stare at the water droplets in the bathroom sink. It was out instinct politeness really, and honestly it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before (sad reality of sharing an apartment with one bathroom with two other boys - this wasn’t the first time Yeonjun had to barge in while Beomgyu was there), but his head was spinning and his heart felt like it was sitting at the very top of his throat. He felt sick.

The toilet flushed and Beomgyu felt Yeonjun nudge his arm to make space for him as he washed his hands. He glanced at Beomgyu’s reflection in the mirror. “Woah, Beoms you okay? You look a bit pale… do you need to throw up or something?” the older boy asked, concerned.

“Or something,” Beomgyu mumbled to himself. He shook his head and splashed some of the running water from the tap on his face. “Just was feeling a bit hungover,” he replied, grabbing a small face towel from the cabinet and patting his face dry. Yeonjun gave him a sympathetic look.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll feel better once you get some food in your stomach - come on I’ll make you something.” He put his arm around Beomgyu and guided him out into the hallway down to the kitchen.

As Yeonjun chattered away in his ear, Beomgyu’s own mind was still going a mile a minute. How was he going to face Taehyun today - could ever face him again?!

His body was somehow guided onto one of the barstools at the kitchen counter and Yeonjun hummed as he walked over to Soobin who was by the coffee machine. Taehyun and Kai were nowhere to be seen so far, though Beomgyu suspected Kai to be still snoring away in his bed judging from the closed bedroom door he saw earlier.

Beomgyu stared at a spot on the counter. It was the same size and shape as the mole behind Taehyun’s ear. Taehyun. Taehyun. Beomgyu groaned loudly, startling the other two as he banged his head against the table.

Yeonjun and Soobin shared a look. “Is he… okay?” Soobin questioned, passing his boyfriend a cup of coffee before pouring himself one.

Yeonjun shrugged. “Ah he’ll be fine, whatever it is. He’s just having a ‘Beomgyu’ moment I think.”

Beomgyu wasn’t even paying attention to their whispers. Where was Taehyun - did he somehow find out that Beomgyu liked him? Did Beomgyu do something stupid and confess his love while blackout drunk and he’s somehow not remembering it?! 

He lifted his head and took a deep breath to calm himself. That’s it. From this very moment, Choi Beomgyu was going to make every effort to put aside his feelings for the sake of preserving their friendship. At the end of the day, that was the one thing he didn’t want to lose. He would rather squash his own feelings down until they were forgotten than to jeopardise the friendship he had with Taehyun. 

Beomgyu felt somewhat proud of himself at his decision. It was the mature thing to do - no going in and blurting confessions to ruin friendships or running away from everyone to protect his feelings. Yes, this is what a mature, fully functioning, mentally sound adult would do. Yes, totally.

Everything was going to be okay. 

The front door clicked open. “Oh! You guys are finally up! I just went to that restaurant a few blocks away and brought back that hangover soup Beomgyu hyung likes - thought you guys might need it after yesterday,” Taehyun said, entering the dorm with a takeaway bag in his hand. His hair was still slightly tousled from sleep, soft and fluffy like a cloud - he had probably left the dorm in a rush without brushing it properly. His eyes were twinkling though with their usual burst of morning energy, and his dimples poked out as he turned to Beomgyu and gave him a beaming smile. 

Beomgyu’s heart stuttered.

Well fuck.

This was going to be harder than he thought.