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The first thing Bob Floyd did upon moving into the now aptly named “Dagger House” was to make a bathroom rota.
This is not strictly true, in reality the first thing Bob did was haul a suitcase, duffel bag and cardboard box up two flights of stairs to the attic, where he had secured himself the box room. He was pretty sure in a past life this room had been for storage, with there being just enough room for a bed, wardrobe and desk, the slanted ceilings making the room even smaller. He lined his photo frames on the small window sill that overlooked the side of the house and out to sea, and hung his uniform in the wardrobe. Bob had never been one for personal belongings, only ever owning a little more than was strictly necessary.
As soon as he had finished, he headed back out onto the landing to look for somewhere to keep his suitcase. In the attic he was joined by Halo and Phoenix, who were currently blaring out cheesy pop music, and Fritz and Omaha, who were probably the only other people in the house besides Bob actually unpacking.
It was while hunting for a storage cupboard that Bob realised the first problem. There was only one bathroom up here and Phoenix liked her showers. He returned to his room and dug out a piece of paper, drawing out a table with each day of the week and filling in when he wanted the bathroom before sticking it to the door with a note for the others to fill it in. Deep down he knew it would only last five minutes.
Meanwhile downstairs, Ice had just managed to avoid catastrophe, having made the mistake of leaving dinner in Maverick’s control. He hurried round the kitchen, opening the windows and swatted the smoke away from the alarm with the towel. He then promptly banished Maverick to go make himself a nuisance elsewhere.
Elsewhere ended up being Payback and Fanboy’s room, where a debate about the acceptable number of Star Trek posters to display ensued, and resulted in Payback’s jacket being dangled out of the window until he gave in.
Eventually the entire group met for dinner, just about able to squeeze around the slightly too small dining table. “Are there any house rules we should know about?” Phoenix asked as she reached for the bowl of vegetables. Rooster raised an eyebrow at Ice, knowing where this was going to go. “Rule one, don’t listen to Mav. Rule two, don’t go along with anything Mav says if I have not said yes. Rule three, don’t feed Tomcat. He’s on a diet.”
“Hey!”
“Which one’s Tomcat?”
“The not fat one.”
“The grumpy one.” Maverick muttered. “Like his father.”
“I’m not grumpy, I just have more than three brain cells. Besides, how can you call this adorable face grumpy?” Ice picked up Tomcat who until that point had been walking around under the table and waved his paw. “See. Hi Dad, I’m not grumpy at all!” The others at the table were trying very hard not to laugh at the sight of their boss doing a voice for a cat. Tomcat did not look impressed. “Please stop that.” Maverick sighed.
“Not until you admit that our adorable faces aren’t grumpy.”
“Fine.”
The clean up from dinner was more of a military operation due to the sheer volume of plates and as such, Ice ran it accordingly, giving out roles to everyone in the room while he got dinner for the cats. Of course, the one slight problem with the cat food being kept in a different room was that upon returning, he bore witness to a full fledged bubble fight that had broken out. Unsurprisingly Maverick was leading up one team, grabbing bubbles out of the washing up bowl and launching them across the room at Hangman, who was failing at shielding himself with a small dessert plate. Ice wondered if adopting eleven children would have been easier. For a brief moment, he considered moving his duvet downstairs and sleeping with the cats. Life as a feline would be easier. Somehow, Harvard had acquired a wooden spoon and a gravy boat and was stirring up what was presumably more bubbles. Not for the first time, Ice wondered how these people had survived in life this long.
Maverick, who at this point was covered in bubbles, let out a war cry and launched the full might of the bubbles in the washing up bowl at Hangman and Coyote, who subsequently ducked and the bubbles landed squarely in Ice’s face. “Ah shit.”
“Indeed Mitchell.” Ice took off his glasses and wiped them clean while watching everyone else return to doing the washing up. He tapped Hangman on the shoulder as he walked past. “Would you run a fresh bowl? This one looks a bit unpleasant.” And then he winked. Hangman went to question what he meant, but Ice winked again and shushed him. “Mav, could you go see if the bird feeder needs filling up?”
As soon as Maverick stepped outside, Ice turned to the group at the sink. “Can I please borrow the washing up bowl?” It very quickly became clear what Ice was planning as he followed Maverick outside. The daggers crowded in the doorway and at the window, all pulling out their phones.
The bird feeder was perfectly placed so that Maverick would have his back to the house, unaware of Ice’s silent approach. He let out a very loud squeal as the contents of the bowl drenched him from head to toe. “What the hell?”
“Karma is my boyfriend.” Ice smirked.
“Don’t you use Taylor Swift against me!” Mav folded his arms like a stroppy toddler as he followed Ice back inside, immediately shedding his t-shirt as soon as they were inside. He was greeted by a flash of a camera as he entered the kitchen.
Things then got worse (or more amusing depending on what side of the camera you were) when there was a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Ice called from the kitchen at Mav, who had been about to go upstairs. “Think it might be Penny.” Reluctantly, he opened the door, for a brief moment forgetting his appearance. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Um… Um…” Maverick ran a hand through his sodden hair and tried to flatten it down to something that looked a little more reasonable. “Did you have a bit too much fun with your husband?”
“Shut up. What are you doing here?”
“I promised I’d return your food processor. You didn’t even know I had it, did you Pete.”
“No, but I’m sure Ice appreciates it.”
“Are you having a barbecue or something?” Penny pointed at the extra cars that were haphazardly parked across the driveway. He could tell she was gearing up to tell him off for not inviting her. “Oh right. It’s a long story, but the daggers have moved in with me and Ice.”
“Since when? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Since this morning. It’s been rather chaotic. What, why are you looking at me like that?”
“You got your adopting tendencies from the best, didn’t you.”
“He would be teasing me so much right now. Then he’d complain because he’d be jealous.”
“You’re giving them a family, and that’s amazing. I should have seen this coming, shouldn’t I.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t.” Behind him there was a loud crash in the house, followed by raucous laughter. “I should probably go investigate.”
“You should. Goodnight Mav.”
“Night Penny.” He shut and locked the door behind her and leant on it for just a moment, listening to the sounds of chaos from down the hall.
This is what life was supposed to be, the people he loved more than anything, the family he had always wanted here with him.
Bradley emerged into the hallway. “You alright Dad?” Mav nodded and hugged him tight. He’d done that a lot the past few weeks, as if it was going to make up for lost time.
It wasn’t, but it was at least the next best thing.