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It had been a week now since his former Master had left for Mandalore.
Anakin had heard the rumours, had seen the headlines in the news, heard the whispers around the temple: The Duchess of Mandalore had been killed in an attack.
Part of him hoped it wasn't true.
Anakin knew that Obi-Wan had a special connection with the Duchess. He had seen the way the two had interacted with one another in the few times Anakin had witnessed them together; the longing stares, indignant bickering weighted by something much deeper, the quiet words shared in the hallways of a ship when they thought no one was listening. The desperation in Obi-Wan's eyes as he had asked Anakin if he could borrow a ship. It was no doubt to Anakin that Satine held a special place in Obi-Wan's heart.
But, deep down, he had a feeling that something had happened during the older Jedi's off-the-books trip to rescue the Duchess. Something Bad.
It was evening at the Jedi temple when Anakin sensed his former Master had finally returned to Coruscant. Anakin made his way to the hallway where Obi-Wan's quarters were situated and patiently waited for him, quietly watching for the older man's return.
Obi-Wan didn't even seem to notice him when he finally appeared at the other end of the hallway. Anakin was tempted to run over to him right then and there, but something about the man's slow gait, the emptiness in each step as he gazed down at the floor as he approached his quarters made Anakin halt where he stood. The uneasy feeling that had been growing in Anakin's chest for the last few days came to a peak.
Obi-Wan was currently dressed in weathered red Mandalorian armour. He didn't have a helmet, it seemed, but he was clutching his lightsaber in his right hand. When he reached the door of his quarters, the Jedi let out a breath, briefly hung his head for a moment. But then, reaching up his free hand, he waved open the lock and swiftly stepped inside as the door swooshed open.
Feeling a pang in his chest, Anakin silently followed him.
When Anakin stepped inside the older Jedi's quarters, the door quietly whooshing shut behind him, he stood there for a moment, unsure. He didn't want to scare Obi-Wan. After all, he had just snuck into the older man's quarters unannounced. But, if the rumours about the Duchess were true, Anakin had the feeling that the company of a friend was what Obi-Wan really needed right now.
Taking off his boots and setting them by the door next to where Obi-Wan's regular Jedi boots were neatly sitting aside, untouched for the last week, Anakin made his way further into the apartment. His feet led him to Obi-Wan's bedroom door.
The door was open, but Anakin didn't enter.
Instead, he silently watched the older man for a few moments. Obi-Wan was currently sitting at the end of the bed, removing pieces of beskar armour from the black flightsuit he was wearing. Once he got down to taking off his boots, Obi-Wan seemed to struggle. Seemingly still unaware of Anakin's presence, he muttered to himself, grimacing with the effort of trying to pull off the first boot.
When the boot finally gave free, it flew across the room and hit the wall, leaving behind a small scuff mark. Obi-Wan pushed his hands up to his face and let out a strangled gasp, clearly frustrated with how he had just marked the wall. Anakin's heart twisted at the sound.
Deciding it was time to intervene, sensing Obi-Wan's exhaustion and hidden feelings threatening to break through the veil of his tightly wound mental shields, Anakin quietly entered the room, came over to kneel down in front of Obi-Wan. Wordlessly, he reached for Obi-Wan's other boot and gently began to help ease it off of his foot. Once Obi-Wan's foot was free, Anakin grabbed the other boot from where it had landed next to the wall and set the pair of boots aside. Looking up at the older Jedi's face, Anakin was met by curious, yet almost…hollow eyes staring back.
Obi-Wan's hair was disheveled and hanging in front of his face. His face was pale, he looked exhausted, but underneath it all, Anakin could see that same underlying hollowness in his demeanour. A spark of light was missing from his eyes.
Obi-Wan kept his eyes on Anakin for a moment longer before he looked away, averting his gaze.
"Obi-Wan," Anakin finally whispered, "Is it true?"
At that, Obi-Wan silently turned to face him again, tears welling in his eyes. He didn't say a word, but Anakin could see the answer in his eyes: Satine was gone.
"Oh, Obi-Wan, i'm so sorry."
The older man didn't even react at first. Just stared emptily at his feet. But Anakin moved in, closing the distance between them as he climbed onto the bed and pulled Obi-Wan into a hug.
"I'm so sorry."
At Anakin's repeated whisper, something seemed to snap within Obi-Wan. His resolve shattered in Anakin's arms.
The first sob was quiet. Anakin pulled Obi-Wan in even tighter. Pressed his hand in his hair. And even though the sobs didn't get much louder than hitched breaths and sharp sniffles, Anakin could hear Obi-Wan's pain so loud. It was deafening.
Anakin knew the kind of agony Obi-Wan was feeling. Could remember the pain he had felt when his mother died in his arms; the way it felt like part of him had been ripped right open, like his soul was a gaping wound, his heart a ruptured vessel after being squeezed under the intense pressure of a vice. The way his anger had taken over him, when he…
Anakin closed his eyes.
Pushing down the feelings of shame and guilt that suddenly bubbled up from within him, memories of what he had done after his mother died playing in his mind, the anger, the hate, the suffering—Anakin forced his mind to shift elsewhere, to Padmé. His love.
Padmé was everything to him. And Anakin didn't want to imagine how he'd feel if something ever happened to her. If something happened like what had just happened to Satine…
No. It would be unbearable.
Resting his chin on top of Obi-Wan's head, Anakin squeezed the man in his arms a little tighter. He could feel part of his tunic beginning to soak through, but Anakin didn't care. Obi-Wan needed him right now. And he was going to do everything in his power to comfort him. Even though all he could really do right now was rub his back and hold him tight. He wished he had the power to take away his pain. But even the Chosen One didn't wield such a power. So this would have to do.
They stayed like that for a while.
Anakin didn't know how much time had passed. But, eventually, Obi-Wan seemed to calm down a bit, to the point where his quiet sobs had all but drowned out so that all that remained was the heavy weight of exhaustion and grief, marooning him in Anakin's arms as they sat there in the dark.
Anakin didn't mind. He wanted to let Obi-Wan have all the time he needed.
But…they couldn't stay like this forever.
Deciding that the next best course of action would be to go brew up Obi-Wan's favourite tea for him (he knew it wouldn't cure Obi-Wan's grief, but maybe it would help cheer him up, even just the slightest bit), Anakin gave the man in his arms a gentle few pats on the back before he began to slowly pull him away from his chest. But, as he did so, Obi-Wan only clutched at him, seemingly not wanting him to leave.
"Hey," Anakin whispered, his heart twisting, "i'm not leaving you. I was just going to go make some tea for us. That new one Ahsoka got for you a few weeks ago? From Shili?"
At that, Obi-Wan seemed to relax slightly. He shifted his head, allowing Anakin to pull away. Anakin gave Obi-Wan's back one last pat before he got up from the bed.
"Why don't you get changed into something more comfortable, alright?" Anakin said, walking over to Obi-Wan's drawer in search of a pair of nightclothes for the older man to change into. Returning with a set of matching beige sleep pants and a sleep shirt, Anakin placed them on Obi-Wan's lap.
"Here. You just get changed while I go brew us some tea."
Obi-Wan silently nodded in acknowledgment. Anakin gently patted his shoulder.
"I'll be back in a few minutes."
Taking one last look at Obi-Wan, Anakin left the room.
–––
When Anakin returned a few minutes later with two cups of steaming tea in his hands, Obi-Wan was sitting on the bed with his knees pulled to his chest, wearing the pair of nightclothes Anakin had given him. Even though it wasn’t much, it was progress, Anakin thought.
Taking a gentle seat next to the older Jedi, Anakin tried to pass him a cup of tea. Obi-Wan didn't seem to notice at first, continuing to stare solemnly out the window.
"Obi-Wan," Anakin whispered, holding the cup of tea in front of Obi-Wan's face, "Here's your tea."
Blinking out of his stupor, Obi-Wan looked at the tea for a long hesitant moment.
"I don't feel like drinking anything right now," Obi-Wan whispered after a few beats. Anakin furrowed his brows.
"Please?" he insisted. "Just a little bit?"
Obi-Wan pressed his lips together. But, releasing a quiet sigh, he took the cup from Anakin's hand, rested it on his knees. After a moment, he took a slow sip.
Anakin began to sip his own cup of tea too, sitting there side by side with his former Master as a somber quiet continued to lapse throughout the room. After a minute or so, Obi-Wan set his cup down on the bed beside Anakin, clearly having had enough of his tea for the moment.
Taking both of their cups, Anakin carefully set them down on the bedside table before taking his seat back beside Obi-Wan once again. Obi-Wan had gone back to staring at the window, still hugging his knees to his chest. He looked so small like this, Anakin observed. So fragile.
Anakin's heart ached for him. Obi-Wan always tried to appear like he had everything together, taking up the image of the Perfect Jedi; steadfast in his decisions, unswayable, unbreakable. But it was times like this when Anakin got a glimpse under the mask, of how even the greatest Jedi like Obi-Wan Kenobi were capable of hurting, of breaking.
Selfishly, Anakin liked it. Not that he liked seeing Obi-Wan like this—it hurt him to see his former Master, his best friend, suffer this way—but, the fact that he was able to see that even Obi-Wan Kenobi had feelings and was capable of hurting like this made Anakin feel less alone. He knew it was selfish, yes. But it was reassuring, that maybe Anakin wasn't as faulty of a Jedi as he believed.
Watching Obi-Wan, Anakin studied him for a few moments more, before finally deciding to break the silence.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly. Obi-Wan didn't answer at first, and Anakin almost thought he didn't even hear him, before Obi-Wan eventually let out a quiet sigh.
"What is there to talk about?" Obi-Wan replied bluntly.
Anakin opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again, sensing that whatever he would say wouldn't help in the moment. It was better to just let Obi-Wan guide the conversation if he did want to talk.
Silence lapsed for a little while before Obi-Wan finally spoke again.
"It…it was Maul," he said quietly, his face pointedly turned away, still staring out the window through the half open blinds.
Anakin felt a knot tighten in his stomach.
"Why does he do this?" Obi-Wan continued with a whisper, "ever since…since Qui-Gon, and now…S-Satine…I—"
Obi-Wan's voice broke, and Anakin's heart squeezed painfully.
"Obi-Wan…" he said, reaching out to place his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan released a shaky breath, his head still turned away from Anakin.
"I…I don't want him to get you too," Obi-Wan finally managed to whisper.
Anakin's heart fell. He reached round and hugged Obi-Wan from the side, moving his head to rest on top of Obi-Wan's.
"He's not going to get me, Master," he said firmly, squeezing Obi-Wan's arm. "I promise."
"You can't promise that, Anakin," the older man replied, shaking his head. Squeezing his eyes shut briefly, Anakin let out a breath.
"I don't care," he said. "He's not gonna get me, Master. He won't."
"You haven't seen him, Anakin—he—" Obi-Wan cut himself off with a shaky sigh. When he didn't continue, Anakin cut through the silence with a whisper.
"You're not going to lose me, Master. He won't get me. I promise you."
Anakin thought that Obi-Wan was going to push back again, continue to argue that he "can't make promises that he doesn't know for certain he can keep". But the older Jedi didn't say another word after that. Just released a trembling breath, dropped his forehead to rest on his knees.
Anakin's heart ached again. Not knowing what else to do, he readjusted himself and moved to pull Obi-Wan fully into a hug. When Obi-Wan didn't resist, Anakin pulled the older man into his arms, hugging him tight as he burrowed his head in Anakin's chest.
Anakin held Obi-Wan like that for a while, powerless to mend the pain and grief he knew Obi-Wan was feeling inside.
Maul.
A brew of feelings bubbled up in Anakin as he thought of that name.
First, it had been Qui-Gon who had met his unfortunate fate at the hands of that Sith. Anakin had been young at the time, but he still remembered seeing the tattooed skin, those haunting yellow eyes as he sat in the cockpit of his N-1 starfighter in the Naboo palace hangar. He knew Obi-Wan had taken Qui-Gon's death hard, remembering the hollowness he had seen in Obi-Wan's eyes when the two of them had finally reunited after the battle of Naboo, the dried tear tracks he'd noticed still running down the older Jedi's face as he had informed Anakin of his Master's fate.
And then, during a mission not so long ago, Maul's next victim had been Adi Gallia, whose body Obi-Wan had returned to the Jedi temple, where Anakin had met him after his return, remembering the pain in his former Master's eyes as he had described the events that had led to his fellow council member's demise.
And now, during a rescue mission to Mandalore, Maul had taken another life close to Obi-Wan's heart. This time, it was Duchess Satine. Obi-Wan's old flame—His love.
Anakin knew those two had a complicated relationship, a shared history together. But he could still remember the quiet words he had overheard in the hallway of the Coronet not so long ago, the way Obi-Wan had admitted that he would have left the Jedi Order for the Duchess if she had said the word—if she had told him that she loved him.
Even if Obi-Wan was too stubborn to admit it, Anakin knew that, deep down, Obi-Wan loved her. It was so evident in the way he had run off to Mandalore on his own in hopes to rescue Satine, the desperate yet grateful look Anakin had seen in his eyes when he had offered him the Twilight to borrow for his journey.
And now that Satine was gone… Anakin hugged the man in his arms even tighter.
"I'm so sorry about Satine," he whispered, knowing that it wouldn't do anything to alleviate Obi-Wan's grief, but he needed to say it all the same. "I…know what she meant to you."
Obi-Wan didn't say anything. Anakin wasn't expecting him to. He just continued to hold him. Rubbed his back.
Anakin wasn't sure how long they stayed like that.
But, eventually, as he stared out through the window ahead, watching the Coruscant night life bustle by through the gaps in the blind as he continued to comfort his mourning Master, Anakin sensed that Obi-Wan had fallen asleep.
Gently pulling the older Jedi's head away from his chest to confirm his suspicion, Anakin looked down to see that Obi-Wan was in fact asleep. His eyes closed, with glistening tear tracks still running down his cheeks.
Feeling a pang his chest at the sight, Anakin softly wiped away the remaining tears from Obi-Wan's face, before attempting to shuffle themselves across the bed towards the pillows so they could lie down. After all, it was late into the night now, and Anakin was tired too. But he still wasn’t going to leave Obi-Wan on his own. Not like this.
It took some effort, but Anakin managed to manoeuvre themselves up the bed, pulling the covers back as he carefully lowered Obi-Wan down beside him. Settling himself in beside the sleeping Jedi, laying his head on the pillow, Anakin dragged the covers over themselves.
Anakin stayed with Obi-Wan for the rest of the night.