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English
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Published:
2023-08-08
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2,473
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1/1
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How many watermelons could a champion crush if a champion could crush watermelons?

Summary:

Gillion learns what a watermelon is and what humans look like when they blush in the same day.

I swear it's good, I swear

Notes:

I really just wanted to write about Gillion crushing watermelons with his thighs so bam... I did

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Everyday Gill learned something new about the Oversea. Whether it be something as big as a boat or as small as a barrel - there was always something that sparked his curiosity.  And today was no different.

 

“Chip, what is a watermelon?” Gill asked as they walked through the bustling market street.

 

“A watermelon? uhh, it's a green fruit, red on the inside. It’s pretty sweet, why do you ask?” Chip replied. He didn’t slow his pace as he spoke over his shoulder.

 

“Because there’s a ‘Watermelon Crushing Competition’” Gill replied. He pointed to a colorful banner that was hanging between two buildings. The sign had some simple drawings of what Gill now realized was a watermelon. Ollie could draw better, Gill thought proudly.

 

Chip halted in his tracks, then walked backwards until he bumped into Gill. He turned his attention to the alleyway. 

 

“Gill?” 

 

“Yes?”

 

“You feelin’ like winnin’?” Chip’s smirk clearly said he already knew the answer. Gill simply smiled, his red eyes glowing with determination. 

 

The competition consisted of a large crowd of people surrounding one loud tiefling woman. She was excitedly commentating on the action - the action being one person sat on the ground. They had what Gillion assumed to be a watermelon pressed between their thighs. Their face was horribly red and strained as they pushed all their might into crushing this watermelon. Gill stepped forward to intervene, surely this competition wasn't worth hurting oneself over. But thankfully the watermelon exploded before he needed to. The red juice of the fruit splattered across the contestant, and some of the cheering audience.

 

“Who’s next?!” The announcer yelled as the previous contestant tried to clean themselves off. A group of people, possibly their friends, surrounded them and congratulated them on their victory. 

 

“Right here!” Chip yelled, raising Gillion’s hand. 

 

“Whoa - now this should be interesting!” The announcer said as she took note of Gillion’s armor and stature. She beckoned him forward, and as he approached - Chip following closely - a half-orc child came stumbling up with another watermelon. 

 

“Thank you,” Gill said gently, as he took the watermelon from them. The child beamed at him, showing rows of teeth that were almost too big for their mouth. Then they scampered away. Gill shifted the fruit between his hands, attempting to judge the weight and density of it.

 

“People - it looks like we have a special treat today!” The announcer yelled, she was pointing to her throat with two fingers, and Gill noticed the tell tale glow of magic in her hands. That explains how she was speaking so loudly. The announcer turned her attention towards Gill, “and what did you say your name was?” 

 

Gill puffed out his chest with a grin.

 

“My name is Gillion Tid-“

 

“That’s fantastic!” The announcer cut him off, and Gill’s heart sank a little bit. He never got to finish all his titles anymore. “Give it up for the fish man!” The crowd erupted into cheers for the Fish Man. That was a good one, Gill would have to add that to the list.

 

“And I’m Chip!” Chip yelled from beside Gill, waving towards the crowd with a blinding grin. 

 

“Are you competing?” The announcer asked. 

 

“Uh, no-“

 

“Alright! You’ll have two minutes to break this watermelon in half using only your body; think you can do that?” The announcer shouted, before pointing her fingers up to Gill’s throat. Gill flinched away from the contact. Forgive his weakness, but he was not going to let this stranger touch such a vulnerable part of him. 

 

“Um, yes.” Gill said, his voice loud but lacking his usual confidence. Many voices in the crowd snickered at his answer, and he felt Chip stiffen beside him. This entire situation was not what he was expecting. Gill was trained to be a warrior, a champion - not to speak in front of large crowds unprompted. Sure, if the moment was right and he had enough adrenaline flowing through him, he could do anything. But this? This was not ideal. 

 

Luckily the announcer cut off his spiraling thoughts with a loud yell of “Goooo!” Gill startled at the sudden voice, sending another wave of giggles and cheers through the crowd. Then he moved to copy the position of the contestant before him. He sat on the ground with his hands behind his back, his legs crossed at the ankles and the watermelon pressed between his thighs. Gill channeled all his strength into squeezing his legs together and the watermelon promptly burst into red paste. The crowd that was cheering and laughing went dead silent. What did he do? His objective was to destroy the watermelon, and that’s what he had done. Gill turned to Chip, helplessly confused - but Chip’s face held only more questions. Chip must have been standing too close because there was a fine spread of watermelon guts over his freckled cheeks, and some on his pants as well. His jaw was hanging open, and if Jay had been here she would’ve made a comment about him catching flies. 

 

“And time!” The announcer called. Gill might dispute that because she called it several seconds after he had finished. But before he could speak the crowd erupted into chaotic cheers that had Gill covering his ears. 

 

“The newcomer fish man; Gill! Sets the time to beat at an impossible .54 seconds!” Wow, that sounded like a surprisingly accurate time. Although Gill could barely hear her over the sounds of the raucous crowd.

 

As Gill stood up, two hands clapped onto his shoulders and shook him. He almost retaliated, but relaxed when he saw it was only Chip. Chip was cheering with the crowd, his eyes bright and shouting louder than most of the crowd combined. Gill looked at Chip as a truth settled in his heart, Chip’s joyous face was the only face in this crowd that truly mattered to Gill. Not that he didn’t care for the people of this village, their safety was his priority. But seeing Chip this joyous? It was like a shining reminder of his oath to the Riptide pirates, to his family. Gill shamefully couldn’t help but think he would give up the whole world if only to keep his family happy like this. 

 

“That was amazin’, Gill!” Chip yelled in his face. Gill smiled in return. 

 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it so much, I was worried for a moment I might’ve done something wrong.” Gill reached a hand up and tried to wipe away the watermelon guts that had stained Chip’s cheeks. Somehow the stain put up more of a fight than the fruit did. Gill scrubbed with more vigor, but that only seemed to make the stain spread farther. It now touched the tips of Chip’s ears, and was making its way down his neck. Perhaps the fruit had some kind of magical properties?

 

“Uhhh, Gill? Whatcha doing there, bud?” Chip asked, his eyes darting between Gill’s face and Gill’s hands on his face.

 

“You have some guts on your face. Here, let me try -” Gill cut himself off by sticking out his tongue and pulling Chip’s head closer to his own. Or at least he tried to. As soon as Chip realized what he was trying to do, Chip started pulling away. 

 

“Dude - “ 

 

Gill held fast. He changed tactics and instead moved himself closer to Chip. Gill would not be defeated by this stain, not even Chip’s hesitance to be licked would stop him. Chip started to twist away from Gill’s grasp. 

 

“Excuse me - “ 

 

Chip and Gillion froze, and turned to look at the announcer who had interrupted them. The whole crowd was staring at the two of them, some of them chuckling. Gill retracted his tongue and released Chip, he would just have to clean him up later. 

 

“Um, we’ll just be… yeah…” Chip’s voice trailed off. He grabbed Gill’s arm and started pulling them away and back towards the mouth of the alley. Gill dutifully followed until he felt a small tug on the back of his pants. Turning around, he saw the half-orc child from earlier holding out a small piece of parchment paper. Gill tilted his head to the side as he examined the paper in their hands. It was about the size of an envelope and folded crookedly down the middle. 

 

“It’s your prize for par-tic-ip-at-ing.”  The child said, clearly annunciating every syllable they spoke. Gill’s eyes blinked in surprise. He knew he had done well, but he hadn’t expected a prize.

 

“Oh, thank you.” Gill said. As soon as his hand touched the paper - the child leaned in closer to him. 

 

“One day I’m going to be as strong as you are. “ They whispered. Gill smiled, before leaning closer as well. 

 

“What’s your name, little one?” 

 

“Bryon,” 

 

“Bryon; I don’t doubt it.” The two shared a sharp toothed smile, before Gillion stood up and turned to leave. He took notice of the soft smile on Chip’s face, directed at Bryon.

 

“Hey kid,” Chip called. Bryon turned their attention toward Chip, their head tilted in curiosity. “Here,” Chip flicked something towards the kid, and they startled before catching it in two hands. Gill couldn’t see what it was until Bryon held it up to their face to study it. It was a shiny gold coin. 

 

“Ya gotta eat more if you wanna be built like this guy.” Chip patted Gill on the stomach, a smirk on his face. Was that a compliment? Gill couldn’t tell. Chip, however, kept moving - grabbing Gill’s arm again. They walked back between the cheering crowd. 

 

“Thank you!” Bryon yelled after the two of them, clutching the platinum piece tightly to their chest. Gill smiled and waved over his shoulder as he let Chip pull them through the crowd. 

 

Eventually they broke free into the bustling market streets of Joaldo. It seemed like nothing had changed from their slight detour. People still brushed past them, and the sun hadn’t stopped beating down on everyone. Yet Gill felt different; not only were his pant legs sticky with fruit juice, but he had managed to inspire someone through his actions. And seeing Chip’s act of generosity had warmed his chest - in a good way. 

 

“That was pretty heroic of you, Chip.” Gill said. He didn’t even try to disguise the pride in his voice. Chip glanced at Gill through his peripheral as they walked and shook his head. 

 

“I wasn’t the one destroying whole watermelons like they were made of paper. Seriously; that was impressive, dude.” Chip shoved Gill’s shoulder as he spoke. The touch was surprisingly gentle, and Gill had to make himself move so as to not damage Chip’s pride. 

 

“Thank you, Chi-“

 

“I mean, if you can crush a watermelon that fast, what else can you crush?” 

 

“Chip-”

 

“We gotta test this, maybe make a game outta it or -”

 

“Chip.” Gill stopped walking and placed a hand on Chip’s shoulder, hoping it would stop his ramblings. It worked. Chip stopped walking and stared at Gill with a furrowed brow and a nervous look in his shifty eyes.

 

“You didn’t have to give anything to that child, but you did. I’m proud of you.” Gill said, his eyes never leaving Chip’s. Which meant that Gill could only watch as the watermelon stain somehow returned to Chip’s cheeks. Chip’s eyes kept glancing between Gill and their surroundings. 

 

Chip chuckled quietly, avoiding Gill’s gaze again. 

 

“Thanks, bud…” Chip said.

 

“My only concern is the stain on your cheeks returning.”

 

“...What?” 

 

“The watermelon stain, I noticed it earlier when I completed the challenge. It disappeared shortly after, but now I see it’s returned. Perhaps it’s magic?” 

 

Chip stared at Gill, confusion blatant in his eyes, then he cautiously rubbed the back of his hand across his cheek. The stain didn’t budge, or transfer to his hand. This had to be some form of magic. 

 

“Oh… Gill -” 

 

“Perhaps I should try again,” Gill said, thinking out loud. Chip’s eyes widen in understanding and he swiftly dodges Gill’s attempt to grab his face.

 

“No! No, Gill. It’s not a stain.” 

 

“Then what is it?” Gill decided to halt his attack until Chip could explain himself. Chip sighed and grumbled something to himself, but before Gill could ask him to repeat anything; Chip spoke again.

 

“It’s… It’s a blush, Gill. I’m just blushing, I’m fine.”

 

Oh. Oh… Gill had heard of these before, mainly from speaking with other humanoid species or from reading his grandfather’s book. There were only a few parts he could stomach. One part mentioned land dwellers’ curious ability to blush. Their faces would sometimes heat up, and turn darker - usually with a reddish tint. Gill had never imagined the color would be so vibrant. 

 

According to Gill’s understanding, however; people only blushed when they were exerting themselves, like in exercise, or when embarrassed. Gill would have noticed if Chip was exercising in any way, and he hadn’t noticed. So that left one option; but what could Chip have been embarrassed about earlier?

 

“So, what’s that paper say?” Chip asked. Gill looked down to the folded paper, his prize, in his hands. 

 

“Oh, this is - this is my prize for victory.” Gill replied as he turned the paper over in his hands, inspecting it. 

 

“Oooh!” Chip exclaimed as he moved closer to Gill. He draped his arm around Gill’s neck. “Open it!” 

 

The command was simple, yet Gill was distracted by their proximity. Chip had a habit of doing this, specifically to Gill. Or at least, Gill hadn’t noticed him doing it to anyone else. It wasn’t a problem, Gill never minded being used as a crutch, especially by Chip - but it was certainly a distraction. Everything else faded from focus while Chip was touching him, Gill’s mind only focused on the warmth - 

 

“Gill?”

 

Oh, right. 

 

Gill unfolded the paper and angled it so Chip could read it aloud, reading common was never Gill’s strong suit. 

 

“It says ‘this paper good for two free ales at the Sprawled Brawler Tavern.’ Hey, we were just there the other night!” Chip says patting Gill’s armored shoulder as he addresses him. 

 

“Yes, I remember.” Gill muttered, the supposed ‘tavern’ that sold such disgusting muck and claimed it was water. “Are you sure we’ll be allowed back there?” 

 

“Of course we will, bud - besides I think you owe me a drink after all this anyway.” 

 

“What? I believe it was your idea - “ 

 

“Yeah, but you pointed out the watermelons,” 

 

“Yes, and now I am very sticky -”

 

“Come on, Gill - it’ll be fun.” Chip practically sang. 

 

Gill didn’t need much convincing when it came to Chip. Even if Gill was worried about the state of his clothes, and the quality of the water he drank, none of that seemed to matter if it meant making Chip smile like that. 

 

“Alright, let’s go.”

 

Notes:

Did you know it takes roughly 364 pounds of pressure to crush a watermelon?