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‘ what are you doing here? ’
satoru looks up from where he lays on the bed, having been staring at the ceiling as he waited for suguru to be done with…whatever it was he does these days. he pushes himself up, sitting cross legged as he stares at him.
‘ visiting. why else would i be here? ’
he pointedly ignores the look he gets from the other, not wanting to hear him talk about how it’s unsafe or how they shouldn’t be in contact anymore. this was satoru’s way of trying to get the man back to his way of thinking, to bring him back from whatever path he was walking. it never worked, always left them at a stalemate whenever he did visit. but it was worth trying. it always always worth trying for suguru.
‘ still preaching about the non-humans needing to be eliminated? ’
‘ you know the answer to that. ’
‘ yeah well, one of these days i’m hoping it’ll change. ’
there’s a scoff as the other moves over to sit at the end of the bed with a sigh. he doesn’t turn to the look at the other but he also doens’t make any move to get him to leave. if satoru had to guess, maybe having someone he knew around wasn’t actually all that bad.
‘ you shouldn’t be here. ’
ah, and here he thought he’d get out of having to hear the usual lecture.
‘ i’m not going to stop coming. ’
‘ why? ’
instead of an answer, satoru moves, coming to settle beside suguru where he sits at the edge of the bed.
‘ …i’m tired, sugu. tired of everything. ’
‘ then why not put an end to it all. ’
‘ because putting an end to it would mean killing you. and i refuse. ’
there was no way he could kill the one person he most cared for in the world. suguru had always treated him with kindness, treated him as a person rather than as some special kid because of the technique he’d been born with. it was rare to find people like that and he’d been granted two of them, only to have one turn around and leave.
‘ so long as i live, i doubt my goal will ever change. ’ a pause. ‘ i could kill you right now, you know. ’
‘ you really are an idiot. ’ lifts his head to stare right at him. ‘ go ahead then. kill me and i won’t have to kill you. it’ll all be over. and i won’t have to be part of it all anymore. ’
suguru looks up, meeting his gaze before looking away. ‘ not on the good flooring. or my bed. ’
it earns a laugh from the man, head shaking as he turns his face back up towards the ceiling. lets out a hum as he thinks before his head tilts again to look back at him.
‘ …i wish you’d come back. ’
‘ i can’t come back, satoru. you know that. ’
‘ that doesn’t mean i can’t still wish for it. ’
there’s a sigh from his companion and satoru can’t help but smile just a little. it’s good to know that he still irritates him with his antics even now. it’s quiet again for a few minutes before finally, suguru once more breaks it.
‘ what are you really doing here, satoru? ’
‘ hate to disappoint but i really did just come to visit. even the great satoru gojo misses his best friend. ’
‘ you could always hang out with shoko. i know she’s still around. ’
‘ if i wished to hang out with shoko, i would. just because you wish to forget everything doesn’t mean i’ve forgotten you. ’
there’s a pause before a sigh. ‘ …i couldn’t forget you if i tried. ’
‘ sure could have fooled everyone. ’
‘ just because i’ve been… ’ suguru motions his hand in the air, gesturing to the building. ‘ here . doesn’t mean i’ve forgotten a thing. but paths change, satoru. i chose my route, you chose yours. we weren’t meant to cross over again. not yet at least. ’
satoru can’t stop the anger that floods through his veins. after all that time together, he really was ready to just shove everything away. it burns him, knowing how he feels for the other, not that he’ll admit such out loud.
‘ i don’t believe that. not for a second. we’ve been friends for years . you can’t possibly tell me that means nothing. that this…path of yours, is worth more than all of that. ’
the eyes that meet his after that aren’t the same as the eyes that he used to see. they look tired, hardened. it makes his stomach sink. just what had gone on to change suguru geto so much? what had he missed in the time together at the end that things had changed so drastically for them? not a day goes by that satoru doesn’t beat himself up for not recognizing something was wrong sooner. but suguru had always been the strong one, the steady one. he’d not looked to see if something was wrong because he never fathomed something being wrong.
‘ what makes it so unbelievable? have you already forgotten what i’ve done? ’ he looks away, gaze turning to stare out the window to the left. ‘ i’m not stopping, either. i still aim to rid the world of non-sorcerers. ’
‘ i haven’t forgotten anything. i just…can’t understand why . ’
he watches as suguru’s fingers curl into the blankets beneath his hands. watches at the way his brow furrows. and then one of the hands move, gently brushing fingers over his cheek.
‘ even now, i can’t seem to scrub amanai’s blood off my face. ’ it’s said in a whisper, voice soft as if afraid to speak about it. ‘ i can’t stop thinking about the group cheering for his death. every single one, a non-sorcerer. ’ he looks up at satoru then. ‘ they’re incapable of comprehending what we sorcerers have done for them. throughout all the years. the only future they have ist o bend us to their will, so that they may sit on their asses and laugh the whole time. they beat us, spit in our faces, lock us in cages and starve us. what have they ever done for us? what purpose do they serve? ’
by the end, his voice is heated and satoru can tell just the thought is irritating him. he sighs before he’s leaning sideways, head resting against his shoulder.
‘ no one said being a sorcerer was a thankful job. it’s forgotten, unacknowledged. but that isn’t the non-sorcerers fault. the higher ups are to blame for that. they chose to hide us away. ’
‘ it doesn’t matter who started it. we deserve a future just as much as they do. ’ despite the way he speaks, suguru tilts his head to come to rest atop satoru’s where it rests against his shoulder. ‘ i’m tired of standing back and watching innocent people get hurt because of these ungrateful primates. too many lives have been dragged into this senseless mess. i’m putting an end to it whether you agree with me or not. too many lives ride on this. ’
it’s hard to argue with him when he puts it like that. which is likely why he has so many people willing to follow him. he’s always been the one good at speaking, good at getting people to listen.
‘ …i didn’t say we don’t deserve a future. i…i understand what you mean and i can understand what you’re trying to achieve. but isn’t there a better way? ’
‘ if there was, do you not think it would have presented itself by now? ’ he had a point, of course, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. ‘ the only solution left is to nip the problem in the bud by going directly to the source. otherwise, we run the risk of letting that ungratefulness breed further. ’
‘ and what happens when it doesn’t work? what happens when the war that starts can’t be won? ’
‘ then i perish in the conflict. and the rest will be left to my associates. ’
perish in the conflict. the very words have satoru’s stomach twisting.
‘ …i don’t want you to die, sugu. ’
‘ …i don’t want to die either. but what is a cause without a martyr? ’
‘ you realize i’ll be the on they send after you? ’
‘ of course. i planned it from the start. to die by anyone else's hand would be a shameful miscalculation. ’
as if it would be easy to kill him. as if satoru would even be able to raise a hand to do so. he’d failed already in the past, failed multiple times. hell, even being here and doing nothing was a way of failing. so how could he think that he’d be able to kill him? quiet falls over them once again. it’d always been like that. gentle conversation filled with quiet but the quiet was never awkward. it was always peaceful. what a pathetic pair they made, sitting there as if they weren’t supposed to be enemies at one another’s throats. the peace is broken, of course, as satoru’s phone goes off. with a groan, he reaches for it, opening it to see that shoko had messaged him, telling him that yaga was looking for him.
‘ …i should go. ’
‘ yes you should. ’
he stands, making his way towards the doorway that leads to the hallway. he stops, however, just as he reaches as suguru speaks once more.
‘ be careful on your way out. ’
‘ what? worried i’ll be caught and killed? ’
and then he slips out, gone before he can hear the quiet yes, actually that’s muttered by the other.