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The sound of the chirping birds was heard from the close by tree, then a single sparrow showed itself from one of the branches. 'What a nice wheather' thought the passerby as she walked by the building of the Yorozuya. Meanwhile, chaos was about to take place in that same two floored building. The clothes that were scattered around the room in various places gave the perfect clues about what happened while the moon still shone bright in the clear night skies.
Mere snores escaped from the two figures that laid on the futon in the middle of the room. The leaner figure's breath was getting blocked by the smaller one's excessive amount of hair and after mere minutes of struggling the man finally decided to open his eyes and the moment he did, he regretted the fact that he didn't suffocate and died because of his airhead of a lover's stupid wig. As heavy thuds echoed through the building; Sakata Gintoki, the leader of the Yorozuya trio, finally acknowledged the fact that his part-timer Shimura Shinpachi was about to enter the shop and with a high possibility was about to discover the dirty secret which him and his wig headed lover desperately tried to keep since. (Honestly he couldn't remember when they even started the whole thing)
"Oi, Zura! You awake? Oi!" Gintoki harshly whispered into the sleeping man's ear but as ananswer he only received inaudible murmurs of the things that make no sense at all... Did he just called Elizabeth's name? What was he even dreaming about? "You bastard, if you don't wake up right now I'm gonna chop your balls and feed them to sharks." No reaction what so ever. "Gin-san, Kagura-chan! Are you guys still sleeping?" Shinpachi stated while entering and closing the door.
As Gintoki listened to his footsteps and kept nudging Zura's shoulder he clarified that Shinpachi was moving towards Kagura's closet. That surely would make them gain some more time he thought as he nudged the man's shoulder rather harshly and jolted him awake. "Zura quick! Find somewhere to hide!" Gintoki commanded to the guy next to him whom still tried to make sense of his surroundings. "It's not Zura, it's Katsura" "Oh come on! At least shut up now Zura, we're going to be walked in if you don't find somewhere to hide your damned self!" Clueless man tiredly yawned and stood still for a moment. Gintoki was about to punch him in the face when Zura finally realized the situation himself and started to freak out. "Gintoki! What are we going to do Gintoki?! I'll have to commit seppuku for this ohmygod-", "Just shut up and think!" Gintoki cut him off. "First go collect these clothes and I'll put something on then we'll think about what are we gonna do with you." He hurried to say before standing up to take action.
The raven haired man also raised to his feet immediately and started to collect the pieces of clothing all around the room. Bending and creating a perfect view with his perfectly sculpted hips for Gintoki to stare.. Wait what was he doing again? He came to his senses when he heard the chatter and footsteps closing in to his room harmonized with the silent and anxious mutterings of Zura which went "seppuku, seppuku, seppuku..." under the naked man's breath. He didn't know how he managed to but while his mind gone blank he miraculously put on his strawberry boxers that laid on the floor left out by the guy who now desperately tried to put on his clothes, eyes widened, illegible words dropping from his mouth. "Shit how did we end up like this?" Gintoki asked in a tone which startled Zura. "Weren't you supposed to wake up before dawn and leave?"
"Yes that's what I intended to do, I suppose your justaway clock may not have worked properly." Zura hurried to say before noticing the dangerously close footsteps behind the door.
Extra footsteps that added to the already existing ones indicated that Kagura too woke up andthey both were coming to-"Sakata-san! Sakata-san!" The annoying cat-lady's voice cut him off before he could continue his thought process. "I'm here to collect your five months amount of rent! If you don't open the door and try to ignore me Tama will burst your door open!" Catherine stated with her dumb amanto accent. The both men stood were they were, mouths agape, eyes widened, hands shaking... What have I done to deserve this fate? Gintoki cursed to his mind, trying to come up with a sensible solution.
A knock was heard.
"Gin-san, I'm coming in." Gintoki grabbed Katsura by his hair pulled him in to the futon and covered his body with the covers and he himself go in. "Oi, Gin-chan we're coming in, aru."
Gintoki has never been in an awkward situation with Zura, how could he even managed to get in one in the first place with this brain diseased lover of his honestly? But now as Zura's face completely planted on his chest, his arms fondling, trying to find a suitable placement next to his sides... He felt pretty awkward. "Stop your moving you idiot!" "It's not idiot it's Katsura." Gintoki slammed his fist to his chest, or to be more clear to Zura's noisy-ass head.
The door slammed open.
Kagura came in with a frown. "Gin-chan wake up! Do we have any money left? I want buy some more skonbu." "Kagura-chan, even if we do, I think we should still use it to pay the rent that has been piling up since forever." Shinpachi calmly stated his attention still in the Yato while Kagura stared at the bulge under the sheets.
"Hahahaha! Right Pattsuan! You're right again! Hahahaha! So true Pattsuan!" Gintoki basically yelled.
Katsura didn't know how but the man above him, in the worst time possible, managed take the whole room's attention and now even the teen with glasses stared at them like they were some kind of a criminal. (Well to be more clear, to Gintoki)
"Gin-san, what's beneath the-"
"Oi, Gin-chan, What are you hiding from us?!" The girl shut him up before Shinpachi could even put up a sentence.
"Are these porn magazines? Aren't you too old for this Gin-chan?" The girl gasped immediately after and added "Or is it food you're hiding there? How many crab legs you're hiding in there Gin-chan?! You stingy old man you could at least share a little, aru." As the Yato talked, she strutted towards the futon and nudged the edge of the sheet, foreshadowing her future actions. "If you're not gonna I will open it, aru!"
And she revealed the contents of the bulge at a one swoop.
Gintoki froze to his place as he felt the cold air hit his thighs. For the second time this morning Gintoki's mind had gone completely blank. What the hell just happened? What the hell am I gonna do know? How am I supposed to react? Shit. All he could see was the shocked Zura on his lap, in his boxers from last night only (How the hell did he find boxers with Elizabeth patterns on it?! Just how?!) From his blurred vision from dizziness he could also make out the figure of Kagura and Shin-
Wait, what was Kagura and naked Zura doing in the same picture?
Then the reality hit him. It hit him harder than puberty hit Zura, harder than Kagura once punched him, harder than Zura's dick last-
It was hard okay. Very. Very. Hard. Shit.
"That's not food, that's Zura aru." Wide eyed Yato commented.
"It's not Zura, it's seppuku!" Zura screamed for the whole Kabuki-cho to hear.
By the time Zura got on his feet, Shinpachi, in the background, was furiously blushing like he ate some seriously hot chili pepper. And Zura was already on his knees, screaming and almost begging Gintoki to give him something sharp. "I can't live with this embarrassment for the rest of my life! Kill me somebody please whatamigonnadoohmygod-!" While desperately begging Zura also made a motion with his hand like he was stabbing his stomach which made him look very pitiful to be honest and that was the last thing he wanted his lover to be seen as. He was his lover nevertheless.
At this point the silver haired samurai decided to take the wheel.
"Well, you see kids, even a madao like me might have a private life you know. And-"
"Are you desperate because no woman wants you Gin-chan? Zura does look like one but I'm pretty sure he's a guy, aru. Or maybe he's like really flat, even more than Anego, aru." Did Kagura just gave him a pitying look?! Oh, no. No. No. Sakata Gintoki shall never be pitied by a glutton fourteen year-old.
"Oi Kagura! Didn't your papi teach you any manners. You're hurting his feelings, can't you see? And I won't feed you if you don't stop being this cocky". The samurai pointed at the wig head who now tried to jump out of the window. "Could you please not kill yourself right now? Wait, you know what, don't kill yourself at all. You'll just create a mess." Gintoki was being careless and raven haired samurai hated it. How could he be this calm while they were in a situation like this. This sure was against their bushido!
"Gintoki! I would expect you to be more sensible! Do you not care about this at all?" Zura held a deep frown. "Whatever happened, happened okay. I think kids understand, right Shinpachi?" Instantly Shinpachi started to blush "Yes I mean, I don't mind I guess"
"Look I told you it's-"
The front door cracked open with a loud grunt.
"Sakata-san, the repair costs will be added to your rent." Catherine and Tama barged in to the shop.
"Oh goddamit Zura it's all your fault!" Shiroyasha was now seriously annoyed.
"It's not Zura, it's Katsura." And that was the last drop.
"You know what, let's just kill ourselves."