Chapter Text
Week one is cake week! Isabela and Zevran, on the back of complaints to the television regulation body over some of their jokes in the previous season, start out rather tame. A joke about buns here, a few waggled eyebrows there, but nothing to cause a fuss.
The judges are expecting great things from this season's contestants. It's traditional to start with cake on the Bake Off, but none of the challenges are easy, even if it's just week one.
Signature Challenge: Chocolate Cake
In the signature challenge, bakers show their tried-and-tested recipes. This week, the sponge must be chocolate, but bakers may flavour their cake however they see fit to compliment the chocolate.
Cole is sticking close to the brief, and making a chocolate cake with chocolate butter cream and chocolate icing, decorated with chocolate rabbits. He's literally just started and has flour splashed across his face. He's chatty, eager to talk to the other bakers, sometimes forgetting what he's doing in the process. Varric has to remind him not to let his sponges burn, managing to let Cole save them just in the knick of time.
*
“Chocolate,” Vivienne says, “is an art form. Though one wouldn't be surprised if there is a week dedicated to it when those with the most potential have been identified, there are still many skills to be showcased in this task.” She is making a chocolate and raspberry cake, with a tempered chocolate mirror glaze. She is calm and collected, and only allows the others to chat with her when she is on top her timings.
*
Blackwall also goes for a simple chocolate cake, flavoured with coffee. He doesn't seem very confident in his abilities, and it shows when he overloads on the coffee, burns his cake and cannot get his icing right. Sera, apparently taking pity on him, tells him how to at least make a decent chocolate icing to pipe and cover the burnt parts of his cake. It doesn't help all that much.
*
Despite spending the majority of the challenge time flirting with Zevran, Isabela and a disgruntled Dorian, Iron Bull still manages to produce a chocolate and orange cake with chocolate-dipped candied orange peel. His tank top says 'kiss the cook', and Isabela makes promises that if he wins, she will.
*
Solas makes a dark chocolate cake with lavender, citing an old Elven recipe. The judges are not convinced by chocolate and lavender, but Solas doesn't even deign to justify his choices. He was right, it seems, with a great balance of subtly flavours, though the judges thought the use of lavender in decoration was a little old fashioned.
*
Several of Sera's jokes about her cherry and chocolate cake can't be broadcast, though Isabela and Dorian find them hilarious. Her workbench is a mess, and she plays fast and loose with both recipes and timings, and her final product turns out a bit of a mess but tastes great.
*
The finish on Cullen's marbled chocolate cake doesn't set in time, and looks messy, and while the cake is under baked, it still tastes good. He follows his recipe to the letter, with no consideration for the new equipment he's using, which throws him off some.
*
The only contestant to make a tiered cake, Josephine goes all out with chocolate and raspberry and chocolate and cherry. She is pushed for time, and ends up rushing all her well planned decorations, leaving the cake looking unfinished. The amount of techniques she showed, and her flavours still impress the judges, and she's very helpful to the other contestants.
*
Dorian makes a white chocolate cake flavoured with chamomile and honey. He has rather a lot of fancy extras, and there's doubts about whether his flavours can deliver, but indeed they do. He seemed to expect more hostility from the other contestants, who were all quick to tease playfully, but wasn't turned from his plans for his cake.
*
Varric's chocolate and ginger cake looks good, but the flavours are a little weak. It doesn't seem to bother him, happy to relax and chat whilst cooking. Everyone likes his stories, apart from Cassandra, who seems disgusted by his flippant attitude to the challenge and their time constraints.
*
Leliana finishes her bake ten minutes before time, leaving her clearing her bench and chatting to the other contestants and Isabela and Zevran. The execution of her chocolate and hazelnut cake impresses judge Harding, as does her delicate decorative piping. Judge Morrigan is less impressed, deeming it too simple. Leliana seems unmoved by this criticism.
*
Cassandra's black forest gateaux inspired chocolate cake tastes good, and the look isn't very refined, but the judges are pleased, though Cassandra is disappointed because she believed she could do better. She seems as ready as Vivienne to really get down to the business of baking, but is more prone to being flustered by the goings on in the tent.
Technical Challenge: Lemon And Rose Anderfell Battenberg Cake
The technical challenge showcases a baker's skill under pressure, with no prior knowledge of the task they will be told to undertake. The recipe they are given offers only basic guidelines, and they must use their own knowledge and instinct to produce the best bake. This challenge is judged blind.
Cole's Battenberg is a bit of a mess, not even on the inside, but his icing and decoration is praised by the judges.
Cool under pressure, Vivienne and Dorian trade light-hearted insults from neighbouring workbenches. Her cake is, by judge Morrigan's rather surprised admission, almost technically perfect, flavoured wonderfully and decorated in a simple and elegant way.
Blackwall has never made a Battenberg cake before, so that puts him at a disadvantage when he has to guess what it's meant to be, whereas everyone else immediately knows the kind of classic appearance that will be desired of them.
Iron Bull shows off his strength by carrying Isabela and Zevran on his biceps. Despite that diversion, he still manages to produce a decent cake with good flavour, though the decoration is deemed too plain.
Solas talks to anyone who will listen about all the Battenbergs he's made, and all the interesting flavour combinations he's used in them. The judges deem his cake fair, though he skimped on the butter cream and he could have made the flavours stronger.
Sera spends the time her sponges are cooking mostly making fun of Solas to camera, and ends letting them burn slightly. Because she has to trim a lot away due to the burnt edges, her cake is a weird shape, and her icing has cracks in it.
Cullen's struggles with the lack on instructions, attesting that he's likes a good recipe to follow, and that baking is not an area where he likes to wing it. His sponge is too close, and the taste of rose is lost.
Josephine struggles with her timing, and loses lemon flavour in the sponge. Her decoration is unfinished because of time issues, and though the judges are impressed, they have to consider that it looks half-finished.
Dorian and Vivienne trade insults about Orlesian and Tevinter cooking in turn, and Dorian makes a clear effort not to swear on camera as he tries to figure out the stages of the recipe. He produces a good cake, with good flavour and pretty decoration.
Varric's cake is messy, untrimmed, and fully covered in icing. He also colours the icing rose pink despite no instruction to, but judge Harding is rather charmed by the effect, since it doesn't actually detract from the flavour.
Leliana's draws from her knowledge of other recipes, but she overestimates the amount of rose and lemon to use in her sponge batters. The lemon is tart but good, but her rose flavour is overpowering, and her cake is lopsided.
Cassandra finds the lack of instructions frustrating, but she perseveres and relies on her previous knowledge of baking to see her through, resulting in an excellent offering on the judging bench.
Judges rank in order of worst to best: Blackwall, Varric, Leliana, Cullen, Sera, Josephine, Cole, Iron Bull, Solas, Dorian, Cassandra, Vivienne
Showstopper Challenge: 36 Miniature Cakes
The showstopper round allows bakers to push themselves, show off their knowledge and skills, and impress the judges with how much they can achieve.
Cole's mini carrot cakes seem to continue his rabbit theme for the day, a fact he admits to readily when questioned by Isabela. She declares her intentions to adopt him to the tent at large, while Zevran says she might have to have joint custody with Varric. The judges are impressed by his cute fondant carrots that decorate the top of his cakes.
*
Vivienne decides that simplicity only works if executed without error. Her mini lemon chiffon cakes with crystal glaze wow the judges, who compliment the balance of sweet and tart, and the elegant display of them, and her attention to both flavour and presentation.
*
Blackwall makes mini sponge cakes with raspberries, and has trouble with his sponges not rising enough. They end up looking flatter than he intended, and the judges deem them over-simple, considering all the time the bakers had to make them in.
*
The judges aren't sure about Iron Bull's plans for mini banana and toffee cakes. Blackwall is caught on camera looking a little worried by all the rude banana puns Iron Bull and Sera are making. Despite their reservations, Bull impresses the judges with his flavour combination and execution. The sponge is a little heavy, but he says that's how he likes to make them.
*
Mini red velvet cakes are Solas' choice, and Sera finds herself the audience for a lecture on the proper way to make red velvet. Solas seems undeterred by her lack of interest. His cakes are praised for their taste and the process that went into making them.
*
Sera neglects her oven while flirting with Isabela. Her mini chocolate chip sponge cakes are slightly over-baked, but taste good, and judge Harding praises her colourful sweet-covered decoration, while judge Morrigan thinks it's in excess.
*
Cullen tells Cassandra about a number of kitchen incidents involving his mabari. His mini peanut butter chocolate cakes are deemed a good flavour, though the icing is messy and the judges would have liked to have seen him try something different after already having made chocolate cake.
*
Josephine's first batch of pecan brittle for the top of her mini pecan and maple syrup cakes burns, and she has to rush to make a second. She manages, but stresses over her timings and gets very flustered. Cassandra helps to calm her nerves by reassuring her they have time, and she's doing well.
*
Dorian questions Iron Bull on his upbringing under the Qun and their lack of cakes and sweets while he prepares his mini citrus olive oil cakes. The judges are impressed by his bake and flavours, though say his decoration could have been a bit more interesting. Dorian accepts the critique with grace, though he has a few quips for the camera later.
*
Zevran and Varric discuss the stupidest cakes they've ever seen, and Zevran narrowly avoids name-dropping one of judge Morrigan's old recipes. Varric's butter cakes end up slightly soggy, though the judges don't fault the flavour.
*
Judge Morrigan deems Leliana's mini coconut-vanilla bean cakes with meringue buttercream frosting “overambitious”, considering she only gets thirty of thirty six fully iced, and the coconut flavour is overwhelming. Again, she seems unworried by her incomplete bake and criticism.
*
Cassandra keeps an eye on Josephine, apparently aware she might be bowing under the strain. Her own almond honey cakes with strawberry cream end up tasting good, but their finish is messy, though Cassandra willingly made that trade off to get them finished on time.
Results
Star Baker: Vivienne
“Of course I'm pleased, darling,” Vivienne says to camera. “None of us got this far by being poor bakers. I am up against the best, and I plan to win again the best.”
Eliminated: Blackwall
“I deserved to go,” Blackwall says, on leaving the tent. “I had a good time, but I didn't do my best. I'm sure the others will go on and do amazing thing. It's a shame I didn't get to try, but I'm probably a better carpenter than a baker anyway.”