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“I knew it would catch up with me eventually,” Eda said, because Raine had been so quiet since they had heard the news. The whole house had been quiet, actually. Luz had classes at university all day, and Lilith had taken King out for ice scream so Eda and Raine could go to the appointment.
“Don’t,” Raine said, rolling to their side. The two of them had just flopped down in their nest once they got home, not sure what else to do, or how else to process it. Eda reached out, brushing a strand of white hair away from her partner’s eyes. She kept her memories of when it was mint green close to her heart, a reminder of how far they had come. But white looked good on them too. They leaned into her touch. That was how she knew everything was going to be okay.
Five years.
She’d gotten five years, so far. Five years of keeping King out of the cupboards. Five years of watching Luz grow and thrive. Five years of going to sleep with Raine beside her and waking to their music in the mornings. Five years of teasing Lilith and listening to her ramble about her current historical fixation, with a roll of her eyes and a smile. Five years of watching her mother teach Luz and King to bake cookies, lure griffins to them with said cookies, and joyride around Bonesborough on a griffin each. Five years of sitting with her father outside, not a word passing between them, the sound of the wind saying everything that needed to be said.
Five years of a good life, one she never thought she would live. Even when she was a kid, she’d assumed she’d do something dumb in her twenties and wind up in the Conformatorium for life. That was where everyone had said she’d end up, anyway. And they weren’t completely wrong.
And yet here she was. She had both the family she’d been born into, and the one she had fallen head-first into. She’d started a university that encouraged individuality and innovation. She didn’t see herself as a monster anymore. She was happy.
But she still wasn’t surprised to hear the words she had that morning. “The toll the curse has taken on your body has progressed further than we can help it.”
She’d always known, in the back of her mind, that she might not make it as long as everyone she had grown up with. That she might be the first to go. That in of itself didn’t frighten her. She wasn’t scared to go somewhere else, wherever that place may be.
Raine shifted in the nest beside her.
She was scared of what she’d have to leave behind.
They reached for her hand. She took it, giving it a small squeeze. They met her eyes, waiting for her to say something more. There was so much that needed to be said.
But she gave herself a few minutes as it began to rain outside, and they watched it through the window after Raine casted a protective spell. She’d never been one for melancholy or introspection, but she had no trouble appreciating a moment like this one. She closed her eyes, focusing on everything she felt around her.
Raine’s gentle touch, their thumb stroking the top of her hand. The scratchy feeling of the nest underneath her, a feeling that signified comfort and home. And the sound of the hissing rain from outside, thunder crackling in the air after flashes of lightning in the distance. All of the things that reminded her she was alive.
“How long was it, again?” She finally asked, “I zoned out half way through.” Raine gave her a fondly exasperated look,
“Three months, at the most.”
“Damn,” she separated their hands and crossed her arm underneath her head, staring up at the ceiling, “that’ll go by fast.”
Hah. She’d gone into the Healing Center with extreme fatigue and difficulty in transformation between her regular form and Harpy form. And she’d gone home with the knowledge that she had three or so months left to live. Before her body just couldn’t manage anymore.
“Yeah,” Raine said, their voice calm and steady. They would cry later, she knew. But not in front of her.
“What do we even do?” She asked.
“I don’t know.”
For now, they continued to lay side-by-side, watching the rain.
King came home an hour later, rambling about ice scream thieves and “technically legal” spells, a frazzled looking Lilith beside him. Eda didn’t tell him that night. Not when he looked so happy. She’d find a better way to do it later.
“Hey, Eda, watch this!” Luz slammed her hand against the piece of paper in front of her, a jet of fire materializing in its place, “fire glyphs! Just found them again.”
“Hey, cool,” Eda smiled, leaning against the door outside the house a week later. Luz and Amity had come to visit, as they had no classes in the afternoon. King was almost done with his school day in Hexside, and Raine was off “organizing people with an unfortunate lack of basic sense,” in their own words.
“Yeah! They’re not as powerful as they were before because King’s still a little guy, but they’ll grow alongside him,” Luz slipped the small notebook she had on her into her pocket, Amity giving her a thumbs-up from beside Eda.
Luz had grown so much over the past five years. She was eighteen, a young adult ready to take on the world (though to be fair, Luz had been ready to take on the world since she could toddle). She was still bright, goofy, and ever so curious. That would never change.
Eda was proud of her. That would never change either.
Eda dragged her favourite outdoor chair out from the side of the house, putting it where she had been previously standing and flopping down. She was tired, despite having gotten a mostly good night’s sleep the night before (she’d only woken up to Raine’s heel stabbing her in the ribs once).
She was used to being tired now. Somewhere along the way exhaustion had seeped through her skin and into her bones, becoming her constant companion. That was how the doctors last week had said it would be, right? Not violent or bloody. Just like closing her eyes to sleep.
It was ironic. She hadn’t wanted a peaceful ending when she was a child. She could still remember staring at the stars from her parent’s roof at fifteen, Raine at her side, glowing in the moonlight. She’d stretched out her arms and talked about all of the awesome ways she could die.
Fighting a griffin! Getting glared to death by Faust! Falling down an endless pit? Running away from the police and jumping into the Boiling Sea because, hah, she’ll die before she’s caught! Falling off the roof right now!
Raine had reached out as she spoke, their fingers wrapping around her wrist, firm but gentle. So she didn’t actually fall in the midst of her rambling and dramatic hand gestures. Even then, they’d been an anchor to her racing thoughts.
“Hey, Eda? You okay?” Luz waved a hand in front of her face, Eda focusing back on the present. Eda blinked a few times, stretching out her arms. “You kinda zoned out for a bit.”
Eda could say she was alright, which was a lie. She had to tell Luz. Now was as good a time as any. She took a deep breath. “I’m not okay.” Immediately, Luz’s expression changed to a serious one, one Eda didn’t like. Eda had hid a lot about her condition from her and King, when they were younger. She’d rarely directly admitted to something being wrong, even after Belos was defeated, and there was relative peace on the Isles.
“What’s going on?” Luz asked.
“I’m dying.” Well. How else was she supposed to put it?
Eda could pinpoint the moment her kid’s world came crashing down, for the second time in her life. Luz’s eyes widened and she dropped down to sit on the grass, her fingers curling into fists, “what?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Amity sat down beside her and took her hand.
“I’m dying. Raine and I went to the Healing Center yesterday. I’ve been tired lately, worse than usual. And I’ve had trouble with my Harpy-Human transformation. Mostly what we know is that the Owl Beast is tired. It’s been a long time. And a lot of stress. The Healers said I probably have three months or so.”
“There’s got to be something -” Amity started, Luz leaning her head up toward the sky and blinking back tears.
“I’m sorry,” Eda said. Because she was sorry. Sorry she would miss Luz’s college graduation. Sorry she wouldn’t get to see all of the wonderful things her kid would do in the future. Sorry she’d never get to meet that potential grandkid Luz and Amity were already discussing. Every moment with Luz was a special one. Eda had learned that a long time ago.
“I’m sorry,” Luz said back, and she stood up, Eda pulling her into a hug. Luz gripped onto her, her breath hitching, “I love you.”
“I love you too, kiddo.”
Eda told her family the next evening after inviting them over. This time, Raine was by her side, their hand in hers the entire time she spoke. Luz had taken King out for the evening.
Her mother and Hooty cried when they heard the news. Her father left the room. Only Lilith had no visible outward reaction, her eyes remaining trained on the wall. She reached out a hand to calm the hysterical house demon beside her, who had reattached himself to the door while they were there.
Eda hugged her mother and put a hand against Hooty. Then she turned to Lilith. Her sister’s eyes met hers. Eda gave Raine’s hand a squeeze and separated from them, walking outside with Lilith. The sun had just started to set outside, and the sky was a lovely blood red. The bubbling of the Boiling Sea was audible from the distance.
They sat down together, barefoot in the grass like they were girls again. “Why the long face, Lily?” she asked, like they were indeed young once more, before all of that Emperor’s Coven and end of the world junk. When the biggest problem facing them was the prospect of being late for school, or getting caught by the possums their father had told them were roaming the woods once as a joke, looking for little girls to eat.
“Edalyn,” Lilith whispered. Eda flashed her a grin. “I did this to you. You’re dying because of me.”
“You can’t take all the credit, jerk,” Eda smirked, elbowing her. Lilith wiped away tears. “I’m dying because of the curse. And some of my own decisions. And, yeah, your mistake. That you made when you were seventeen. That you’ve spent your whole life trying to fix. Remember what I said before? No pity parties in this house.”
“But if I had just -”
“It doesn’t matter what you could have done. We can’t change the past. You made a choice and I found a way to live with it. You’ve been finding a way too. I’m not mad anymore,” she reached out, taking her sister’s hand. Lilith held onto hers tightly, then leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. Eda closed her eyes.
“I don’t want you to go,” Lilith said, “I feel like I’ve just found you again.” She let her tears come this time. Let them pour down her face, washing away what had passed and making way for a new time.
A tear leaked out of one of Eda’s eyes. It was followed closely by another. And another. Lilith pulled her close, embracing her. That was all she wanted at the moment. The feeling of her big sister’s arms around her as she broke down, because her world was falling apart too.
As she’d thought before, she wasn’t scared of dying. She was scared of leaving her sister behind. And her kids. Her partner. Her parents. Her friends. All of these connections that she had been devoid of during her darkest days. That loneliness had made her appreciate them even more.
She and Raine sat together once everyone had left on the old, beat-up couch that Eda refused to replace. “You said you’d handle telling friends, right?” Eda asked, stretching out and wincing as pain ran up her arms.
“Yes. You need to tell King soon, though,” Raine said, “everybody else in the family knows now except for him.”
“I know,” she let out a rather dramatic sigh, flopping down so that her head was in their lap. They smiled, stroking their fingers through her hair. “You’ll take care of him, right? Titan, he’s still a kid.”
“Of course,” Raine said, “King is going to be surrounded by people who love him. Always.”
“Not always,” Eda mumbled, “he’s a Titan. He’ll outlive everyone.”
“Then he’ll find new people who love him. I believe in him.”
“You’ll encourage my future grandkid to break her parents' rules for me?”
“Yes,” Raine laughed, “I promise I’ll be a terrible influence in your honour.”
“Hey, kid, here’s how to commit a murder-suicide and curb-stomp a fascist dictator,” Eda said in a terrible impression of her partner. Raine let out a sound that was half a gasp, half a laugh,
“Eda! You can’t just say that!” It was definitely more of a laugh, now that Eda was hearing it again.
“Yeah, cause you’re the one who’s going to say it,” Eda smirked. They leaned down, kissing her forehead. Then they sat in silence, until Eda spoke up again. “The past five years have been pretty damn good ones.”
“Yeah,” Raine said, gently moving her from their lap and standing up. She winced as her position was shifted, Raine quickly moving to help her. She held out a hand,
“I’m alright, Rainestorm.”
“You’re not. It’s okay to not be.” They summoned their violin, sitting down beside her again and beginning to play. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Their music was the best sound in the world, she decided. She wanted to hear it when she died.
The pain in her muscles returned and she gritted her teeth, keeping herself from crying out. Raine stopped their playing. Because of course they noticed. They reached out to her.
Let them help you.
She did. She let them get the potion the healers had prescribed for the pain. They poured her a cup of appleblood as well and put it beside the potion, to wash away the foul taste. Then, they sat down and continued to play, and she let herself fall into the drowsy post-potion state that she was sure she would become accustomed to over the next few months. And then Luz and King came home.
Luz looked tired. It was exhausting to keep a smile plastered on your face, for the sake of someone else. King was holding her hand, not yet knowing that anything was wrong with his world. And Eda was about to ruin that.
It was the hardest with him, she realized, as she forced herself to say, “hey, King, I need to have a quick talk with you.”
“I didn’t do it, Luz totally did!” He exclaimed, Luz gasping and letting go of his hand,
“Hey! Betrayed by my own brother,” she put a hand over her heart for dramatic effect. Eda patted the spot beside her on the couch, King walking over and giving her a nervous look.
“You’re not in trouble, buddy,” she paused, tilting her head, “yet, anyway, is there anything I need to -”
“- Nope!” King said, sitting up straighter, “what’s up?”
The words felt stuck in her throat. Her son was 13. She’d raised him from infancy, even if she hadn’t considered it raising at the time. He’d been her only companion for eight long years, the only being who brought a smile to her face.
He was her little guy.
Raine’s hand slipped into hers for the millionth time that night. Their hand reminded her of her courage. She took a deep breath, “remember how we’ve talked about the toll the curse has taken on my body?”
“Uh, no, not really.”
“Yeah, that’s on me. It does take a toll, though. A big one. The Owl Beast wants to go to sleep now, and be done. And, uh, it can’t do that without me going away. I’m dying, King. I’ve got about three months or so left.” Silence. King’s eyes widened.
“Buddy?” Luz said slowly, reaching out for him.
“You’re lying,” King said, standing up. There were tears in his eyes. “It’s not true, stop lying! Nothing’s going to happen to you, you’re young, it’s okay -” his voice cracked. Then he turned and ran.
“King!” Luz exclaimed, reaching out for him. Raine shook their head. He needed space, probably. It felt like the right thing to do. Eda’s eyelids drooped. She was afraid to sleep now. Afraid that she might not wake up the next morning, without ever saying goodbye.
But she was so tired.
King came back once it was night and Raine and Eda were tucked together in their nest. Raine’s elbow was jabbed against her pelvis tonight. So, yeah, she was still awake. King climbed into the nest and snuggled into her arms like he was still eight.
She held him close as he cried.
For the first time in a long time, she woke up the next morning to the sound of pacing instead of music. It was early. The sun had just begun to rise, and she could hear the comforting buzz of vicious Boiling Isles insects that could tear you apart limb from limb.
She opened her eyes. Raine was indeed pacing in a repetitive line outside of their nest, their arms crossed to their chest. Their hands tightly gripped their opposite arms. Their breathing was quick.
She listened to them take in a shuddering breath, then let out a quiet sound of pain, that no living creature should ever have to make, but almost every living creature does at some point in their life.
They were going to lose each other. That was the pain in finding each other again. Raine leaned their head forward, tears streaming down their face. Eda frowned. Crying always irritated their scars, which had healed but never faded.
They let out a muffled cry from behind a hand, as they thought she was still asleep. And that noise was enough to send waves of sound magic, coursing through the room and crashing into her, reminding her once again that right now, she was so alive.
There was a graceful power in Raine’s magic and even under their grief it was still there, still ringing, still true. It would never go away, even when she did. She pushed herself to her feet with some effort, exhaustion clinging on to every limb. They turned to look at her, their eyes shining with pain. She gave them a nod.
They walked over, hiding their face in her chest and gripping onto her, committing the feeling of her touch to memory. Their breathing hitched, and that was enough to lift them both off their feet for a moment with another wave of sound. Raine’s eyes were glowing red, magic crackling at their hands.
“Whoah, Rainestorm,” she cupped their cheek, pressing their foreheads together, “take a deep breath.” They did so, returning the both of them to the ground. Raine took a few more deep breaths, looking up at her. She held onto their arms.
“You’re as beautiful as the day I met you,” they whispered. Eda snorted,
“Yeah, I doubt that, we’re nearly fifty now.”
“You are. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
They watched the rest of the sunrise together.
Maybe part of the news of her impending mortality hadn’t really registered in her brain. Because she was still surprised when the pain started to get worse.
Feathers kept popping up along her body, and while they were still controllable with her regular elixir, they were painful now. She couldn’t seem to keep her eyes open for longer than a few hours, but she felt bad whenever she slept, like she was wasting the little amount of time she had left. Raine kept track of her care, along with that the daily potions she was supposed to take. There were far too many. They put her in a hazy-like state. She hated it.
She wanted to be outside, watching Luz practice glyphs or King practice his own form of magic. She wanted to visit her sister’s museum and make fun of how boring it was. She wanted to terrorize the residents of Bonesborough with her pranks. She wanted to feel like she was alive.
Instead she was stuck on the couch, mostly, fighting to stay awake (and stay alive).
Even if she wasn’t going out, though, everyone came to her. Camila visited one day, pulling her into a close hug. Hunter, Darius, and Willow visited another day. Hunter stammered nervously and Darius made fun of her. She wouldn’t have that any other way. Her parents and Lily had stayed in Bonesborough for the time being, while everyone waited for the end. Luz and Amity had too.
“I don’t want it,” she said to Raine, as they lifted up one of the potions she was supposed to take. They put it back down,
“Are you sure? It helps with the pain, right?”
“Yeah. But it makes everything fuzzy. I don’t care about the fucking pain right now. I just want to be in my right mind.”
“Okay,” Raine said, setting the potion aside. They lifted up the elixir. She shook her head. “Eda.”
“Raine.”
“If you don’t take this one, it’ll make things progress more quickly. You know that.”
“Maybe that’s what I want,” she rolled onto her side, staring at the wall. Her vision had become blurry, as her body had begun to deteriorate. She’d been prescribed glasses that would help for now. She’d never worn them.
“It’s not what you want,” Raine said, because after all this time they could read her like a book. She wanted to live. She wanted control over her life. She wanted to feel healthy and whole again.
She took the elixir.
In the end, though, it would only help for but so long. That third month approached quicker then she had thought, even when she had felt trapped in those stupid, hazy moments.
She couldn’t stomach the elixir anymore. She couldn’t stomach anything. And she stopped trying. She didn’t drink when Raine held a cup to her lips and propped her up and begged her. She drifted in and out of consciousness. She could hear the others talking, sometimes. King and Luz. Gwendolyn and Dell. Right now, Lilith and Raine.
“We should take her to the Healing Center, right?”
“She doesn’t want to go, Lilith.”
“For Titan’s sake, she’s not in her right mind, Raine, she’s dying!”
“I trust her.”
They didn’t go anywhere.
Until the next morning, that was. The pain had faded into a dull ache, surprisingly enough. She opened her eyes, staring up at the blurry ceiling. Raine was already awake beside her. They looked each other in the eyes.
And then Raine lifted her up. It was somewhat awkward, because they were a great deal shorter. But they managed. She’d gotten so thin over the past few months too.
They carried her down the stairs and outside, the morning sun tickling her face as they walked out in front of the Owl House. Then they sat down with her cradled in their arms. They pressed their forehead to hers.
She heard every individual goodbye that everyone gathered said to her. Even if they would never know that she did. Then, those people all went inside. She could identify each one by shape as they passed.
Mom. Dad. Lilith. Steve. Darius. Eberwolf. Derwin. Katya. Amber. Alador. Emira. Edric. Bossy Boots. Goops. Tweedle-dee. Darius’s Scrawny Ward.
She was leaving them behind. But she was ready, now. Luz and King stayed, standing in the distance. Luz had her hand wrapped tightly around her little brother’s paw.
They were going to be okay.
Raine summoned their violin and began to play. Raine’s Rhapsody, or Eda’s Requiem. Whichever one they called it now. She smiled.
The best sound in the world.
“Rainestorm,” she whispered, her voice hoarse.
“Hi,” they said, tears streaming down their face, “hi. I love you. So, so much. You’re so loved by everyone, Edalyn Clawthorne.”
Shadows fell in the edges of her vision. But she kept herself steady. Raine pressed a hand against her heart, feeling its rapid beat. They concentrated, and the sound of her heart began to echo around the area, from Raine’s magic. They’d memorized it. They would have the sound of it in their own heart forever.
“It’s okay,” Raine said, “you don’t have to hold on for us. We’re alright. I love you, Eda.” They began to play again, their arms shaking. Because of that, it came out a little bit rushed, and a little bit squeaky. But that was okay.
That was life.
For one final moment, surrounded by music and love, Edalyn Clawthorne was so alive.
And then her pupils grew wider, and her body grew still.
And then that last heartbeat rang out, and Raine felt their magic fade from her body.
And then she was gone, claimed by time.
Here lies Edalyn Clawthorne. The most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. Mother of two, pickpocketer of many, and beloved partner of Raine Whispers.
She was so loved.