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Something was wrong. Mind could feel it. Whole had complained about worsening chest pains, hands and feet hurting when used. They felt uneasy. Their hands are shaking, even as he tries to focus on the story in from of him.
A clatter. A clatter, thump, some sort of noise. It sent shivers down the manmade spine, and he slowly crept to the bathroom. Maybe something just fell down. Yeah. It was just his nerves getting to him, the damning information making him paranoid.
Dripping blood in a pattern of someone shambling to the bathroom. Smeared, faint blood in footsteps gone by. Purple staining the floor on the way to the bathroom. He gasped, picking up the pace.
“Heart? Heart, hey, you alright? Please respond, Heart!?-” He stuttered out, rapidly knocking on the door. When the response was only a low growl, Apollo pushed through the door with a shove, nearly tripping over his own frozen feet at the sight of Artemis, laying in the very purple tub.
Its shirt and hoodie were both off, thrown into the corner haphazardly. Its arms dripped with oozing cuts, some looking fresh and some looking barely healed over. His feet didn’t fare much better, random cuts that ran deep bleeding down into the drain. Glancing back up, he felt his stomach twist as the night’s dinner began to churn unsettlingly in his gut at the sight.
A long, gaping wound, spanning from just under the collarbones to just barely past the ribs, shoddily stitched together in ways that made the skin fold unevenly, shoved together like fabrics. Through the openings in the stitches, he could see bone and blood, the echo of a muffled beating heart that pounded like a frantic drum. Heart lay there, hand embedded to pinch at a string, frozen in place.
“...H-heart- W-what did-? What happened? H-how did- Why did you!?-” Mind stammered, rushing to the edge of the tub, hands hovering anxiously. Heart looked at him, blindfold discarded, showing off its empty eye sockets, shadows creating the illusion of eyes.
“Mind, Mind- Mind, it’s okay- I’m fine, Mind, I just-” Mind cut him off.
“YOU ARE BLEEDING OUT??”
“Look, I-” He was cut off again. This was getting irritating.
“Heart…”
“LOOK! I don't know why, but I don’t ‘heal’. Any wound that gets deep enough to bleed never fixes itself properly. If I'm lucky it’ll create a very thin clot. And, this situation–” He gestures weakly at his wound. “–I tried to stitch myself together a long while ago. Didn’t work. And now I’m coming undone.”
A pause. Mind sucked in a sharp breath. “...And your face? Y-your eyes?”
Heart sighed, lightly touching the scar on his nose with a shaking hand. “S-soul. Soul healed it. They were probably trying to heal my eyes, but it just made my face scar over tougher than the rest of the scars. They were confused, but it was stressful as you had uhm. You were also about to stab me in the heart, so that was. The focus, at the time.”
The silence was heavy, weighing down on the two of them. The Sun stared at the shoddy stitches across The Moon’s chest, huffing. “You… Those look bad. Painful. The stitches.”
“Yeah. The multiple loops that this happens I stitch it up blind. That’s not OSHA compliant, I don't think.”
Mind sighed fondly. “Not particularly, considering the state of things. I mean, look how it ended up.”
“Hm, yes. Look. Looking at the stitches, in which I can do.” Mind huffed, which caused Heart to burst out laughing.
“Pffft- ow, ouch, fuck!” He cackled, hissing with pain as he laughed. “Oh, oh my ribs- ow, that was great. I’m so great at comedy!”
Mind smiled at Heart’s hijinks, but frowned at his pain. “I don’t think you should go back out there with that patch job.”
“I really shouldn’t, but I can’t stitch this up. It’s all coming undone and I’m too tired to move.”
“...I’m good with sewing.”
“...Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”
Mind hesitated, but sighed. “I’ll be right back with supplies. Stop hoarding the tub and let me sit down in it.”
~~~
He walked in, setting everything down on the tub’s edge and toilet lid. His sewing needles, delicate scissors, disinfectant wipes, hydrogen peroxide, rags, sutures, soap, rags, wing soap, bucket (for warm water), more rags, a change of clothes for both of them, towels, bandages, and a singular butane lighter.
Heart lay there, a bit more scrunched in the tub so Mind could sit down, facing it.
"Arms and legs first, or..?"
"First, please." Apollo hummed, filling the bucket up with warm water and dumping it on the space not occupied by Artemis, cleaning it slightly. Then he filled it again, and sat down in the tub with the bandages, rags and hydrogen peroxide.
"Hold out your arm. I am going to clean it with a rag, and then with hydrogen peroxide, and then I will bandage it." It held out its arm, and Mind grabbed it gently. "Wet rag in three, two, one."
Gently, the warm rag was rubbed along his arm, carefully cleaning off the excess blood. They made sure to not bother the scars, as they set the first rag on the edge of the tub.
"This will hurt, as those wounds look very dirty. The hydrogen peroxide is being applied in three, two, one.." They set the softer rag, drenched in hydrogen peroxide, on the arm. Heart flinched, hissing at the feeling of fire that traced gently along his arm. The wounds all fizzed, and Mind gently wiped them down with a dry rag and applied bandages. “Keep raising your arm. The tub is bloody and I doubt that will be a comfortable feeling on your arms.”
It was awkward, quiet as Mind moved onto the second arm. Once that was done, he wiped down the edges of the tub, letting Heart set it’s arms down. He cleared his throat. “There are some… Big wounds. Really big wounds on your legs. Would you rather I stitch those up, or…?”
Artemis sighed. “Just stitch them up. Won’t change how it hurts.”
“Alright. I am going to start filling the tub with water to clean it slightly, so please get used to the feeling of water-soaked clothes.” Apollo stood up, closing the drain and starting the water running. The Moon hummed as the cold water lapped at his feet. The Sun stepped out of the tub, grabbing the case of sewing needles and the lighter. Taking out a needle, they held the tip of the needle to the flame until it grew bright red, then taking a disinfectant wipe to remove the residue.
They stopped the water, unplugging the drain to let it all drain out. “This will hurt. If i knew how painkillers would affect you, I would give you some.”
“Look, it’s fine. This has been bothering me since.. Since Apathy. It’ll be fine.” The Moon gritted its teeth, gnawing on a curl that fell onto it’s face. Gently, Mind moved the curl away and handed him a cloth.
“In case it gets bad, I don't want you ruining your teeth.” Heart took it, gripping it tightly.
Stepping into the vaguely cleaned tub, they sat down and grabbed his right foot. They went through the motions, cleaning around the wounds and disinfecting them. Taking a deep breath, Mind spoke.
“It's time to stitch the wounds. Prepare yourself.” And a few moments later, the needle with the suture pierced the skin. Heart cried out, but with a few deep breaths, he shut himself up easily.
Mind could barely breathe, watching the needle pierce skin and the noise it made. It was bad. So, they talked.
“So…” He cleared his throat. “I would suggest staying off your feet as much as possible. Since this won’t heal, We don’t want to irritate the wounds by putting too much weight on it. I could get you some crutches or a wheelchair, or- or a cane, I need to do more research about how to help you-”
“Woah there Jupiter, no need to go all chatterbox on me. I-” It hissed as Mind sealed up the wound and moving onto the next. “I’ll be perfectly fine without all that.. Stuff.”
“...You must be joking, right?”
“Why would I be joking? I can handle it.”
Mind finished up the stitching, wiping down the wounds and bandaging up the foot, taking care to wrap it around each open wound. Then, he moved to the left foot.
“Juno, my Moon, my opposite, my dearest companion. That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard from you yet, and I’ve heard a lot.”
Heart spluttered. “Oi! What’s up with that??”
“This type of stuff isn’t something you can just ignore, Icarus! It’ll cause less pain for you to stay off your feet until we tell Pandora and-” Heart cut him off.
“DON’T- Don’t tell Daedalus about this! They don’t need to know.”
“Why? Wouldn’t it help in the long run?!”
“I- It’s complicated. You wouldn’t understand.”
“So make me understand. Explain it. I’ll listen.”
…A long pause followed as Heart tried to think. “Look, it’s. I love Polaris, you know? We all do. But they can be so overbearing and I just. It’s become a part of me. This pain. I’ve dealt with it so long it’s like background noise. And- and I don’t know how to live without it. And they’ll just heal everything which- Which I know it’s bad to not want to be healed, but I’m not ready. I don’t know. There’s something comforting about all of this and I’m not ready to let it go.”
Mind took a deep breath, trying to think of the best response. “...I don’t understand, but I do. That’s- that’s weird. I get it, the… the uh. There was something underlying there, right? Am I reading too far into this?”
The Moon hissed as The Sun sealed off the wound. “It’s uh… It’s stupid. You’d be unable to comprehend it.”
“Try me, Alcor.”
“...I just don’t want to depend on anyone. Anything. You guys would treat me like a child. An immature, helpless child who trips over things and can’t fucking cook food.” It takes a shuddering breath. “I don’t want it to go back to before, Mizar. It fucking sucked, being treated like that.”
“...I do get it. Yeah, I- I get the whole uh, not wanting to be seen as helpless. Useless. That's… that's a lot of what I've been grappling with, too."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. I'm 'The Mind,' designed to be useful to Whole. Becoming my own person is really hard, considering how I was made. But I'm telling you this, Juno. You don't have to be useful to be loved."
A few moments of silence passed as Mind bandaged up the last of the wounds on the left foot.
"...Did you regurgitate a speech Atlas gave you?-"
"So what if I did! It applies, Artemis!" They glared at each other for a moment before breaking off into giggles.
The silence had become comfortable, the heaviness that haunted the air slowly disappearing. Apollo cleared his throat.
"The only wound left is the chest wound. I need to unstitch and re-stitch the wound, but I need to get closer. Move your legs."
"Wow, so forward." Heart teased, causing Mind to groan.
"Shut your ass up, I'm doing a surgery."
The Moon laughed, and shifted to let The Sun be able to comfortably reach the wound. Taking a rag, he cleaned around the shoddy stitches, and then, taking the scissors, he slowly started to cut the thread, unstringing the flaps of skin held together with desperation and tears. Heart shuddered.
"That feels… Weird."
"Is it painful?"
"…No."
As the last string came undone, Mind gently pried it open to reveal a ribcage, a beating heart with veins and arteries running to and fro like a carefully designed web. The heart, beating with no true pattern, echoed around the room. He felt almost lost within its snare. It was a beating heart, proper, if not erratic. Better than his own, at least.
"...Can I hold it?"
"What?"
Mind stuttered, tripping over their words. "I- I just saw the heart and it reminded me of my own and I want to know-"
"Okay."
"What?"
"You can hold it. I trust you."
"If you're sure…?"
"I'm sure."
Gently, Jupiter reached through the open wound, ignoring how much purple blood covered their hands immediately. With both hands, they gently cupped the beating heart, feeling how it pumped an infinite amount of blood through the body. In-out. In-out. In–out. In-out. It was an uneven beat, but they felt their eyes gently close to the erratic harmony.
They stayed like that for a while, holding his heart with the most caring, cold hands. Juno felt himself relax, the cold feeling like a gentle respite from the pain.
"...I don't have a heartbeat. It's not something that uh.. that exists."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, I have a heart but it's.. it's less than real. It doesn't work like a normal heart."
"Can I feel it? Like, through your wrists?"
"Sure. It's only fair." Mind carefully retracted his hands, wiping away most of the blood on a nearby towel. Heart grabbed at his hand, feeling around for the point where the pulse resides. Pressing into it, he could feel a faint, slow beat, steady yet barely there at all.
"It's not much, but… it's there."
"Sure is but… why is it so slow?"
"Don't know. It's possible that the shot had… killed me, in a way. It uh.. it might've slowed my heart to keep me alive.."
Heart hummed, still listening to the gentle beat. "Is that why your throat never healed? Is it like my chest wound, with it being too close to the Core?"
"...huh. That does make sense.. does that mean this wound right here won't ever heal?"
"Yeah."
Silence, for a few moments. Mind grabbed the needle and suture. "I should start stitching this up."
"Go ahead. We can continue talking, if you'd like."
The Sun sighed, starting at the bottom, just under the ribcage where the wound started. The needle went through the skin slowly, taking the utmost care to stitch the skin together.
"I'm not as alive as you are. I think…God, I could just be a corpse that refuses to rot."
"You have a heart, it just pumps blood slower. You have a brain, objectively better than mine. I'd say that's pretty alive."
The heartbeat slowly became muffled as he worked his way to the collarbone, where the end of the rip resided. Apollo couldn't help but mourn as the sound slowly quieted with every stitch made. "It's not like yours. Yours beats with blood and muscles. Mine beats with coolant-type liquid with the consistency of thicker blood and metal pipes and covering."
"Doesn't make you any less alive to me."
Mind finished the last stitch, sealing up the wound effectively. "Done. If you wish, I could clean your hair and wings for you, granted you at least take a quick shower."
"Yeah, I can do that. Would you mind, uh. Turning around for a minute? I'd rather be alone, but-"
Mind was already out the door, closing it. "If you need assistance and or are done showering, call me back in."
He heard spluttering, confused mutterings from being left alone. But the shower started up, and Eos found himself zoning out.
~~~
"...Jupiter? You can come back in, the tub is mostly cleaned." Mind blinked, opening the door and quickly slipping into the bathroom. Heart sat there, pants soaked through but looking a lot more alive. The tub was less stained, the purple looking a lot lighter and duller as it dried.
"I will start with your hair, then your wings, and then I will bandage your chest. Then, both of us will go to bed."
"Sounds like a plan." Mind grabbed the shampoo and conditioner, bringing the bucket of warm water along with. The hair products were tailored specifically for Heart's hair. Gesturing, it scooted forward so that Mind could sit behind it, and with a heaping of shampoo in his hands, he began to massage Heart's scalp and lather its hair with soap. Once it was completely lathered, he took some water from the bucket and carefully measured it out, washing out the hair. Then he massaged what was left back into the thick forests of hair, and then washing it out, rinse and repeat.
Once the shampoo was completely out, he applied the conditioner, which was scented a unique combination of grape and mint that gently wafted through the air. Concentrated, it was unbearable. But with the amount that goes in Heart's hair, it makes the hair smell pleasant. Calm, even. It also seemed to help the hair's volume, becoming soft and poofy without losing the definition of the curls. Mind started the same routine, massage the scalp to get everything into every crevice of hair, and then rinse it out, and repeat until it was all gone.
Finally, they poured the last of the water onto the hair, making it all washed thoroughly. The Moon was drifting, barely kept awake by the frequent water dripping down and the feeling of blood in his feathers. He complained about it frequently.
"I am done with your hair. Please extend your bottom set of wings." The Sun let him adjust to the request as they swapped the hair soap for the wing soap. Made to clean and soften, scented the same as the conditioner; grape and mint. It fizzled and popped in his hand as it touched the purple stains, ones that would take forever to wash out. He sighed, putting a select amount in both his hands and the mechanical ones he summoned. They shifted to the left wing while the hands moved to the right, and they began to gently rub the soap in every nook and cranny. Adjusting any feather wildly out of place, but especially making sure to unstuck feathers that had dried blood between them. As he did, Heart relaxed. If he was half asleep before, now he was barely clinging onto consciousness.
Once the bottom set were done, Mind let the soap sit and work it's magic. Getting a new helping of soap on both sets of hands, he gently coaxed Heart into opening up the top set so he could work his way through. The plan was that once the top set were soaking in soap, he'd go in and wash out the bottom set, immediately followed by the top. Then, he'd dry them, preen them, and bandage the chest. Simple, easy, precise. Once he was done with the top, he grabbed two very soft rags, one for each hand, and dunked them into the warm water. Bringing the rag gently to the bottom left wing, he started to wash out the soap while also carding his hands through the feathers gently in a mimicry of preening. Heart's wings slowly began to fold in on themselves as he drifted off.
Mind poked him. "Alcor, don't fall asleep on me now. I've still got to dry and preen your wings."
"....M'kay.. m.. m awake.." Mind chuckled, vowing to get through the washing out of both sets of wings even quicker now.
Soon, both wings were washed and dried. Now, he had to preen them. Juno was trying and failing to not fall asleep, as their cold fingers from two sets of hands gently glided through its wings, straightening out feathers with careful consideration, like Jupiter had done many times before. Plucking a stray loose or bent feather out when needed, but most of its wings were easily straightened into perfect condition. "Icarus, stay awake for a little longer. Sit up straight so I can bandage your chest." It sat up straight, grimacing at the strain. Eos bandaged it's chest quickly, and carefully pulled it to its feet.
"Get changed quickly, I would like to take a quick shower before going to bed. Once you're out, head to my room and wait." Apollo left the bathroom, waiting until Artemis exited with fresh and soft clothes to go back in.
Stepping out of the bathroom in New, soft pajamas and freshly polished metal and washed hair felt amazing after everything happened. Slowly, Mind walked to his room to see an exhausted Heart sitting on his bed, staying awake to wait for him. He hummed, announcing his presence to his other half, who mumbled in response. They turned off the overhead light, leaving on the hanging lights as they both got into the bed, Jupiter stubbornly and protectively curling his arms around Juno, who only snuggled closer.
A melody wandered in the air. It was gentle, constant. A piece preformed by two, making no mistakes as they hummed in unison. The melody was short and sweet, but Mind cracked open their eyes to look at Heart, his face uncovered by the blindfold.
"Love you, Alcor." They murmured, not expecting much of a response.
"...L've you too, M'zar.." He tripped over his words in his exhausted haze, but it got the point across just fine.
Somehow, sleep came easy and calm, that night. They weren't complaining, though.