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Bucky was always confused by his soulmark as a kid. The silvery words are embedded into his skin, running across his collarbone in messy handwriting.
"Nightmares suck. You want some coffee?"
He was never particularly prone to nightmares. Sure there were some dreams where Stevie got too sick to recover that had Bucky waking in a cold sweat and itching to check on his friend. But they were few and far between. Mostly Bucky never even remembered his dreams.
Growing up he didn't have access to coffee often, they could never really afford luxuries. But when he was near it, the smell always made him think of his soulmate. He would revel in the idea, fantasising about what they might be like. Steve would make fun of him, but Bucky would catch him looking at his own mark just as much. Hypocrite.
Then he went off to war. And thought he understood where his nightmares would come from. At least the soulmark meant that he was likely to live through it if he was dreaming about the horrors after.
Then he fell to Hydra. And life became a living nightmare. There were no dreams when he was the Winter Soldier. Only the cold ice of cryo temporarily froze his brain until he could be of use.
When Steve caught up to him and brought him back to the Avengers Tower, Bucky had forgotten about the words etched over his collarbone. He tried to keep to himself, fairly certain that while Steve welcomed him with open arms, the rest of the team wouldn't be so accepting.
Unwilling to risk sleeping, Bucky spends most nights patrolling the tower, trying to get a feel for the layout and security.
On one of his patrols, he finds a man he hasn't been introduced to yet sat by the kitchen table. Bucky can only assume that him having access to these floors of the Tower means that he's an Avenger, and the only one he hadn't met yet is Clint Barton, Hawkeye.
Despite it being the middle of the night, the man has his hands around a gigantic mug of coffee. The smell washes over him and a memory niggles at the back of Bucky's mind, but he doesn't pull at it. Not when he doesn't know it the man is a threat or not.
Clint chugs his coffee and Bucky takes a moment to assess the man. He doesn't seem to be armed and is dressed in civilian clothing; pyjama pants with little drawings of Steve's shield all over them and an old grey hoodie. There's a butterfly bandage keeping together a wound on his forehead and a purple bandage across a recently broken nose. Dark circles line the man's eyes from the impact, but it also looks like they could just be from sleep deprivation. The slouched posture suggests a bone deep exhaustion.
Bucky hadn't thought he'd been spotted yet, but without looking up the man talks to him. 'Nightmares suck.' He says, punctuating the statement with a yawn. 'You want some coffee?'
Bucky feels a jolt run through his spine. It's almost like the shock of the chair but it spreads warmth through his whole body. His collarbone blossoms with warmth and Bucky is almost floored as all of the memories of him thinking about his soulmate are unlocked.
'Barnes?' Clint asks, looking up at him when Bucky has been frozen in place for too long.
He knows how the stories work. He should say something back, Clint will realise who he is and then they embrace and fall in love.
That’s how it’s supposed to go. Instead, Bucky turns around and walks out of there as quickly as possible.
He's not supposed to leave the Tower. But he suddenly feels too cooped up and constrained. He desperately needs fresh air and heads up to the roof, praying that Jarvis will let him up.
He lets out a sigh of relief as the elevator doors open and he gets a blast of cold night air. There's not as many stars as there used to be, Steve explained that light pollution blocks a lot of visibility. But Bucky can still pick out a few constellations, so spends a few minutes grounding himself with the stars.
Once he has his breathing under control, he tries to think rationally about the situation.
He found his soul mate and right now, he's the only one who knows.
His words are on his medical records, all soldiers are. But even if Clint has done his research, there's a high probability he's so tired he won't even remember the interaction. Realising he has a way to test the theory, he tentatively reaches his right hand to the collar of his hoodie. His finger brushes the edge of his collarbone and he takes a slow breath to steady himself before sliding his hand over his soul mark.
It's like a door opens up in the back of his mind. The foreign emotions flood into his head. He feels a heavy exhaustion, tinted with a sense of confusion. There's also a sharp pain, followed by annoyance. He wonders if Clint is more injured than he initially thought.
He had thought that having someone else's thoughts in his head would be too much. After all that Hydra crammed in there, he hates the idea of his mind not being his own. But Clint's emotions don't overtake his own. It feels right, natural. Like he's finally accessing part of himself he's been cut off from.
Reluctantly, he pulls his hand away and stares into the void of the night sky.
He doesn't think he's ready for a soul mate. He can barely stand to be around Stevie sometimes. The way Steve expects him to be someone else can be overwhelming. He hasn't been able to talk to the rest of the Avengers, even though Steve has introduced him to everyone bar Clint.
At least he managed to avoid talking to Clint in his panic to leave. All he has to do is keep that up while he gets a better handle of the first situation. Step one of that is to work out what kind of a person Clint Barton is.
***
Bucky quickly learns that Clint is the heart and soul of the team, and probably the only reason they manage to function without falling apart.
When Tony and Bruce are too deep in their research to surface, Clint fetches them sandwiches and lures them out with the promise of a movie night.
He manages to tempt Steve into training. Which not only forces Steve to let off some steam, but also stops him from hovering over Bucky. He also manages to diffuse most of Steve's fights with Tony, which is an impressive sight.
Natasha always seems in a calmer mood when Clint is around, less likely to threats of immediate violence.
Wanda always seems more comfortable with Clint around too. She mostly keeps to herself but there's something about Clint's personality that makes it easier for her to join in for team bonding events like movie night.
He's like a magnet that the Avengers revolve around so they don't get dragged down by their own overthinking. And he seems to genuinely enjoy it; whenever Bucky can get away with reading Clint's emotions without being caught, he finds that any successful attempts to help his teammates are always met by a burst of sheer happiness.
He also learns that Clint doesn’t handle being alone very well, and gets twitchy when he’s on a mission that requires him to be solo for any length of time. Nightmares seem to keep him awake most nights too, jolting him up with a feeling of sheer terror after only a few hours sleep.
Bucky keeps his findings in his notebook, trying desperately to work out what to do with all the information.
He takes a break from his research and heads down to the common floor to find Steve. He's gone on a run with Sam, but should be back shortly.
As Bucky enters the common area, he stalls in the doorway for a moment when he finds Clint lying on the couch, wrapped in a shabby purple blanket. He's watching the TV but the volume is off.
Bucky considers backing out of the room, but Clint catches his attention. 'I don't bite.' He promises as he sits up, it looks like it takes a bit of effort and Bucky finds himself itching to check his soulmark to see if Clint is hurt.
'Steve'll be back soon. Come watch Dog Cops with me while you wait.'
Bucky very tentatively moves to sit in the armchair close to Clint. Clint gives him a soft smile before turning his attention back to the screen. The audio may be off, but the subtitles on the bottom of the screen describe the audio for them.
'Is it that you can't talk, or are you choosing not to?' Clint asks after a few minutes.
When Clint looks over, Bucky just raises one eyebrow in a silent question.
'Well, if you can't speak, there are things we could do. Notebooks, whiteboards, I could even teach you sign language.'
Bucky isn't too clear on the rules concerning soulmarks. He can't risk sign language counting as his first words. He shakes his head.
'Alright then. Take your time.' He says gently before turning back to the TV.
Steve eventually shows his face, smiling at the sight of the two men on the couch. He’s been desperate for Bucky to make friends with the Avengers.
‘Heya Cap.’ Clint says, looking up with a friendly smile. ‘Movie night tonight? I had a great idea for a classic to catch you up on.’
‘Sure thing Clint. We’ll be there.’ He says, heading towards the elevator. Bucky scowls when he realises Steve is deliberately leaving him with Clint to force him to socialise. He pushes himself up off the couch and stalks after him.
‘See you later Bucky Bear.’ Clint calls after him.
Bucky isn’t sure why he’s blushing. Thankfully he manages to get a handle on masking his emotions before Steve gets into the elevator and turns around to face him.
‘You know, if you need someone easy to talk to, Clint is probably a good place to start. He’s pretty easy going.’
‘Shut it Rogers.’ Bucky grumbles under his breath.
Steve just rolls his eyes and lets the conversation lapse into silence.
***
As expected, Steve drags Bucky to the movie night. Bucky falls into his usual seat, there's a couch only big enough for two people, and he generally sits there with Steve. But this time, Steve escapes to the kitchen and Clint falls into the seat next to Bucky.
Since seeing him this morning, Clint has managed to get a new black eye and has bandages around one of his ankles.
Bucky wants to ask what happened, but he can’t without exposing himself as Clints soulmate. So instead, Bucky gets to his feet and heads into the kitchen. He walks past Steve, who’s making popcorn, and pulls open the freezer.
‘Everything okay Buck?’
Bucky just shrugs noncommittally and grabs a bag of frozen peas. He returns to his seat and passes the bag to Clint as he sits, keeping his eyes firmly on the screen, even though it's black.
‘Aw thanks man!’ Clint says enthusiastically, hissing as he presses the frozen bag to his face.
Bucky risks a glance over at Clint as the man makes a content noise as he gets used to the freezing cold. He adamantly doesn’t react, and ignores the curious look the Black Widow is giving him from across the room.
Steve re-enters the room with enough popcorn for the team, looking amused at Bucky who just glares at him in response. ‘What are we watching?’ He asks as he sits next to Stark instead of kicking Clint out of his usual seat.
‘After a fierce debate with Legolas-’ Tony starts, laughing when Clint flips him off. ‘We’re going to start with the Hobbit films, even though Lord of The Rings technically came first.’
Despite how much he’s been trying to push down his emotions, Bucky can’t help but perk up at the mention of the Hobbit.
‘Oh, we know the Hobbit.’ Steve says, giving Bucky a look of excitement.
‘How do you know about the Hobbit?’ Tony says with a shocked expression.
‘It was Buck’s favourite book. He used to read it to me when I was sick.’
‘So all the time?’ Clint jokes, eyes lighting up when Bucky laughs under his breath. ‘Let's put it on.’
Tony waves a hand and from the second the film starts to play, Bucky is hooked. Memories come flooding back. He used to tell the story to get his sisters to sleep, as well as entertaining Steve when he was stuck in bed, so he knows it word for word. Seeing the characters he knows so well come to life is magical.
He’s indescribably disappointed when the film ends despite the fact that they’ve barely gotten to the actual plot of the story. He looks away from the screen and finds Clint watching him. Normally, Bucky is twitchy and hypervigilant, so it takes him by surprise that he hasn’t noticed Clint staring at him.
‘Don’t worry.’ Clint grins. ‘We can watch the second one tomorrow. Then there's a third movie. Then three Lord of the Rings movies.’
Confused but eager to watch the rest of the story play out, Bucky nods. Like always, he makes a quick exit as the credits roll, leaving Steve to socialise with the Avengers.
He’s alone in the apartment he shares with Steve for maybe twenty minutes when there's a knock on the door. Bucky cautiously puts down the tea he was making and grabs a knife from his belt. Steadying himself, he crosses the room and opens the door, quickly hiding the knife behind his back when he realises it’s Clint.
‘Howdy neighbour.’ Clint says with his trademark bright smile.
Bucky quickly tucks the knife back into his belt, tilting his head questioningly.
‘Well, Steve said you liked the Hobbit book, so I thought if you couldn’t wait until tomorrow for more fantasy-’ He lifts up a stack of four books. ‘Sorry they’re a bit battered. Nat says I’m a savage for the way I treat books.’ He says, laughing awkwardly as he passes them over.
Bucky looks down at the copy of the Hobbit on the top of the pile, it’s a different cover than the one he remembers, but the design of Smaug is unmistakable.
Not sure how to respond, he just nods and lets a small smile prick at the edges of his lips. It’s a kind gesture and he wishes he had a way to actually thank Clint for it.
Clint doesn’t seem fazed by the lack of response, and just waves. ‘Enjoy.’ He says as he walks away. Bucky closes the door, holding the books in his metal hand while the other comes up to tuck under the collar of his shirt and press against his collar bone.
Clint seems to be full of that content feeling he gets when he helps his friends. Seeming genuinely happy, despite the throbbing pain in his eye and ankle. Confused by the whole exchange, Bucky writes down his findings in his notebook before grabbing his tea and sitting in an armchair by the window to start his reading marathon.
***
A few days later, Bucky returns to his apartment after a walk through of the tower to check on the security measures, and finds Natasha sat in his armchair, reading his notebook. She spares him a glance as he closes the door behind him.
'I have to admit Soldat. I'm impressed.’ She says, snapping the book shut. ‘Most people don't notice what Clint does to keep people afloat. You're missing a few of his strays, but that's understandable, they live elsewhere and wouldn't visit the tower.’
Bucky is practically vibrating with tension, moving forwards slowly and holding his hand out for the book.
'I noticed you keeping an eye on him.’ Natasha explains, handing it over. ‘Wanted to make sure there wasn't anything I needed to worry about.' She gracefully exits the chair, walking past Bucky. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t tell him. But you should talk to him sooner or later. The longer you wait the more pining I have to deal with. And I do not have an eternal well of patience.’ She warns him as she takes her leave.
Bucky shudders as Natasha leaves, closing the door behind her. He looks down at his notes and thinks over her words. He’s learned all he needs to know about the kind of person Clint is; unrelentingly good and kind. Which is part of what makes revealing himself so terrifying.
Clint may be perfect, but Bucky knows he’s no catch. With his long list of traumas and triggers, Bucky is nowhere near anyone's first pick for a partner. It’s not fair to force that on Clint. He can just imagine Clint being kind and supportive about every little issue, and the idea makes Bucky's chest ache with loss.
But he knows he can’t stay mute forever, sooner or later he’s going to mess up and fate will force his hand. Maybe he should just go back on the run. It would be better for Clint if Bucky just removed himself from the equation.
Out of habit, Bucky reaches for his soulmark. He’s immediately met with a blinding pain that reverberates through his skull. His hand reflexively moves away and the pain disappears.
Jumping into action, Bucky runs through the apartment and yanks the door open. He sprints down the hall, catching up to Natasha just as the elevator doors open.
‘Where’s Clint?’ He asks, forcing himself to ignore the fact that it's the first time he’s spoken to any Avenger other than Steve.
‘Taking care of some personal business.’ She says, arching an eyebrow. ‘Why?’
‘Somethings wrong.’ Bucky tells her. ‘He’s hurt.’
Natasha’s eyes scan him quickly before nodding in confirmation. ‘I know exactly where he is. I’ll deal with it.’ She tells him, stabbing the button in the elevator to take her to the ground floor of the tower.
Alone with his thoughts, Bucky just paces up and down the length of the hallway, keeping his hand pressed against his soulmark. The pain in Clints head is a pounding ache and there’s a strange ringing in his ears that drowns out all sound. He only comes back to his own senses when he feels Steve's hands on his shoulders, the sudden touch jolting him out of his meltdown.
‘Hey Buck.’ He says gently.
‘Clint…’
‘He’s alright.’ Steve assures him, eyes flicking to where Bucky was not so subtly connecting to his mark. ‘Something went down with his brother. He’s back safe and out of medical, but they say there’s a chance he probably won’t hear again.’
‘...Oh.’
Steve ushers Bucky back into their apartment. He sits for a while but is too restless and jumps up to his feet and moves into the kitchen.
Figuring that Clint probably hasn’t eaten, Bucky makes him pizza and coffee. On his way to Clint's floor, Natasha intercepts and takes the pizza, ‘He won't accept that much fuss.’ She explains. ‘He’s good at taking care of others, but terrible at accepting that help for himself. You have an advantage because his instincts will be to foster any positive progress you’re making. But this is still too much. Go with just the coffee.’
Confused but willing to trust Natasha’s judgement, he nods and heads up to Clint's floor.
Clint pulls the door open, obviously not expecting Bucky to be there. He blinks in shock for a moment before shaking himself out of it.
'I can't hear anything right now.' Clint tells him, a bit louder than he normally speaks. 'But unless you've picked a really awkward time to start talking again, that probably won't be a problem.'
Bucky feels his lips twitch up into a smile. He likes that Clint isn't afraid to joke about things like his hearing loss or Bucky's selective mutism. He holds out the coffee and Clint gratefully accepts the offering. He takes a moment to savour the smell. 'Thanks.' He takes a long sip, not so subtly looking Bucky up and down. 'You want to come in? I was going to watch trash TV so I don't think about all this.' He says, gesturing vaguely to his ears.
Bucky nods, following Clint to the sofa.
He's dying to ask Clint what happened and if he can help. But anything he manages to ask would be considered his first words and could ruin everything. So he stays reluctantly silent.
Clint is watching the show where dogs are cops again. He makes it through most of an episode before starting to drift off. Bucky keeps his eyes fixed on the screen, but is listening to the man's breath slowly even out as he loses consciousness.
Once he's sure Clint is asleep, he risks touching his hand to his soulmark. He just stops himself from gasping out loud when he realises that the overwhelming emotion is a sense of safety.
He can’t fathom why Clint would feel so safe sleeping next to the Winter Soldier. It doesn't make any sense.
***
Clint adapts to his hearing loss quickly, opting for bright purple hearing aids when Tony offers to build him a pair. He quickly gets himself back to his role in the Avengers around the same time Bucky is cleared to join them for missions.
Bucky has never seen Clint fight, but from the second Clint lets his first arrow loose, Bucky is obsessed.
As one of the few human members of the team, Bucky had assumed Clint would be at a huge disadvantage and would need to be protected. Stark has his suit of armour and Bucky could piece together enough of his past to know that Natasha could keep up with the superhumans. But all he knew about Clint was that the man was a SHIELD agent before joining the Avengers.
Bucky's jaw literally drops when he watches Clint knock three arrows and hit the three Hydra agents that were about to get the jump of Steve from a rooftop on the other end of the street.
Once he's happy there's no active threats to the Avengers, Clint taps the coms in his ear to check in with Natasha. As he talks, he spots Bucky watching him and winks.
Bucky quickly shakes himself out of his daze and snaps his attention to the sound of footsteps coming up the stairwell that leads to the roof they're on.
The door is kicked open and Bucky immediately takes aim. Clint moves quickly, tackling Bucky so that the barrage of bullets misses him. Bucky rolls them over so he's crouched over Clint. If any of them should be the human shield, it should be the super soldier wearing layers of body armour.
Bucky makes quick work of the Hydra agents, putting a bullet through each of their heads in quick succession. Once they're out of the way, Bucky finally looks down at Clint, whose face is far too pale and pinched in pain.
Panic grips Bucky as he scans up and down Clint, finding that the man has both hands clamped down on his abdomen which is bleeding freely.
‘You idiot.’ He practically growls as he helps put pressure on the wound. ‘Don’t you die on me.’
‘Oh…’ Clint exhales wearily. ‘Hey you.’ He says with a weak smile before his eyes go glassy and he passes out.
Bucky keeps one hand on the wound and taps his own coms system. 'Backup needed.' He says, his voice rough and scratchy from barely being used.
'Is that Barnes?!' Tony exclaims, clearly surprised to be hearing Bucky’s voice.
'Hawkeye is down. Medical required.'
'On my way.' Tony promises and a streak of red and gold strikes through the sky.
Bucky very reluctantly stays in the fight, taking out all of his panic and rage out on any Hydra agent who gets in his path. He's sure the Avengers are supposed to be non-lethal where possible, but Bucky makes sure that not a single one of them can get back up.
The second they're all dispatched of, Natasha grabs Bucky's arm and leads them to the quinjet.
'Hey!' Steve calls after them. 'What about cleanup?'
Natasha turns around with a sharp glare, effectively silencing Steve.
When they arrive at the medical floor of the tower, Clint is in stable condition but fast asleep, booked up to a bunch of machines that steadily beep to monitor his progress.
Bucky stands at the edge of the bed. The adrenaline of the fight bleeds away leaving him feeling strangely numb.
'Well, you were right about one thing, he's certainly an idiot for taking a bullet for a fast healing super soldier.' Natasha turns Clint's arm over to expose the soul mark that lies on the part of his arm usually covered by an archery bracer.
"You idiot. Don't you die on me." is scrawled across Clint's arm in Buckys neat handwriting.
He winces when he realises that he essentially branded Clint as an idiot for his whole life.
'He's going to hate me…'
'Barnes. He has talked about you non-stop since you moved in. He tells me how hot you are. How good your taste in books is. He tells me how you take your tea because he's never seen anyone stir that much honey into it and he thinks it's fascinating. He is dying to get to know you. The same way you've been obsessing over getting to know him.'
Bucky blinks as he processes the information. Natasha just gives him a very knowing look before settling her focus back on Clint. They keep a quiet watch over him, waiting for any signs of life.
***
'Trust you to mention coffee as your first words.' Natasha says with a roll of her eyes once Clint is awake and coherent.
'Least it wasn't Dog Cops.' Clint pouts before turning to look at Bucky. 'Speaking of, you want to go get coffee sometime?'
'You asking me on a date, Barton?'
Clint wiggles his eyebrows, grinning.
'You're going to be stuck in this hospital bed for a while.' Natasha reminds him.
'Oh yeah…' Clint sighs, looking genuinely disappointed.
Bucky is hit by an idea and gets up to leave the room. He finds a coffee maker on the medical floor, thankfully with it being Stark's fancy building, it doesn't look too bad. He gets two styrofoam cups full and returns to Clint's room.
He passes one of the cups over to Clint and gives Natasha a meaningful look. Understanding immediately she gets up and presses a kiss against Clint's forehead before leaving.
'What's going on?' Clint asks, confused.
'Coffee.' Bucky responds simply, taking a sip.
'... Is this our first date?'
Bucky nods.
'Aw hell, if I knew I would have dressed up.'
Bucky can't help but laugh. He feels part of himself finally relax when Clint joins him and they both laugh for far too long.
'We can get dressed up for the second date.' Bucky promises him.
'Oh, I've already secured myself a second date? Nice.' He says with a grin. 'You know, I didn't expect you to have a Brooklyn accent, part of me was expecting you to sound Russian.'
'You're not mad that I was avoiding talking to you?'
'Nah, I get it.' Clint shrugs. 'You've literally only just come in from the cold. You have a lot of shit to sort through while you adjust. I get that throwing a soulmate into the mix would have been overwhelming.'
Bucky glances down at Clint's arm. 'I am so sorry about my words.'
'Huh?' Clint follows his gaze, turning his arm to look at his soulmark. 'What do you mean?'
'I called you an idiot.'
'Oh.' Clint chuckles. 'Yeah, I mean that was kind of rough growing up.' He shrugs casually. 'I'm over it though.'
'You're too understanding. You should be mad at me.'
'Oh, you're not chasing me off that easily.' Clint tells him calmly. 'You've already promised me a second date.'
Bucky has to admit, Steve was right when he said Clint was easy to talk to. Clint's easy forgiveness settles something in Buckys chest and he feels lighter for it. He lets himself relax and focuses all of the attention on his soul mate, finding himself excited to learn more about the man now that he's allowed himself. It's weird to feel hopeful after so long in the cold but he finally starts to think that maybe Fate knows what it's doing after all.