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He knew, Takemichi knew, Izana didn't love him, no, Takemichi was just inconvenience in his brother's eyes.
A plastic bag meant to be thrown away when it's use no longer matters. That's why he'd seek refuge in toman, where he wasn't only plastic bags and useless garbage.
-
'Izana doesn't hate me, that's just his way of caring!'
Sometimes Takemichi still thinks so, maybe Izana would come knock on his door, apologizing, and maybe they could have a nice homemade dinner, maybe.
But always and always there replays a voice in the back of his head, one from his own brother, it replays day and night, repeating and repeating, over and over,
"You're not family, you're no brother of mine, you just so happen to be another one of mother's many blunders"
And this night happened to be like many others, with Takemichi tossing and turning, that sentence repeating over, almost taunting him
"Can I rest, just this one night?" He whispers to his head, begging for just one night without the voice of Izana bubbling around his head like medieval torture.
Of course his stupid head won't listen, instead providing more and more memories to gush and cry over.
-
At one point in time, Izana was a good- great brother even. He cared for Takemichi when their deadbeat, neglectful mother couldn't, when she would leave with bright red lipstick and a nice dress smelling of awful Japanese Cherry Blossom, not before saying-
"Take care of your brother for today"
Only to be gone for a week longer. But as they say, good things always come to an end, it was almost as if a switch was flipped inside of Izana, he started being distant, angrier, and so subtly, it was almost unnoticed, a teeny bit sadder.
"Zana can you help me with homework!"
"No, go do it yourself"
-
"There's a festival tomorrow can we-?"
"I don't care, I'm busy"
-
And one day, one Takemichi won't forget, one played like a video tape in the back of his mind.
..
Takemichi creaks Izana's room door open slightly, he knew by now not to do so without prior notice but it was urgent.
"Zana? I'm sorry for coming in but..mother sent us a-"
It was like time went by slow, fast, then slow again, one moment Takemichi was standing up, and the next he's on the floor, a throbbing pain right to his nose, on instinct, he covers his nose, only to pull it back just as fast when he figured it was bleeding
"Can you shut the hell up?! I know she did! I know! And you know what Michi?! It's all your fault! It's all your damn fault! If- If you weren't born..mother would've never left me..!"
Every word that left his own brother's mouth hurt, just as much as the beating Takemichi was getting from said brother..
'why are you so mad Zana? I'm sorry I made you upset..' He wish he would've said it outloud instead of in his head, he wish he apologized properly to Izana.
For minutes, maybe hours, maybe a whole day, Takemichi laid on the floor of what used to be Izana's room, crying to himself, crying about the broken nose, crying about his bashed in face, crying about the crust of blood he could only feel, but most importantly, crying about Izana.
And only after he got up from the bloody carpeted floor, did he realize Izana was gone.
-
Now here Takemichi stands, looking at his motorbike, his hands clammy and sweaty the keys he was gripping on would practically slip out of his grip any minute now.
The 22nd of February, Toman vs Tenjiku, Takemichi takes a deep breath, maybe 5, looking up the first thing he notices is the gazes of every Tenjiku executive laid on him, only one he focused on, Izana.
He knew, he prepared for this, knowing Izana would be there, he averts his gaze from his elder brother, instead he strides forward, with every other captain gone and injured, Takemichi is the one to lead the fight.
-
The fight comes to a pause, Toman and Tenjiku members both beaten, but can only focus on the two brothers in front of them.
"This is what you've been doing Izana? After you left me beaten in that apartment?" Rage laces in Takemichi's voice, he expected more from his own blood.
But Izana says nothing, almost looking unimpressed, he swings his fist at Takemichi, who takes it, but gets right back up.
"You're nothing to me Takemichi, you've done nothing but ruin my life, I should've landed another punch on you that day when I had the chance." A grin stays plastered on Izana's face, mocking Takemichi.
"Oh shut the hell up! I know you Izana! You're my brother for god's sake! I know you don't mean a thing you say! I saw the look you had..don't think I'm stupid." Tears well up in one's blue eyes, yet the other violet eyes seem to be taken aback, the grin so annoyingly plastered on Izana's face fades away and left with a scowl
But he's cut off while Takemichi continues to ramble on
"I just want my brother back, is that so much to ask..? I want to apologize- I want to watch cartoons and laugh with you again..is that too much to ask from you, Zana?"
By now the tears swelling up in Takemichi's eyes fall, his voice cracks, he wishes he could be placed somewhere else with just him and his brother, without the eyes of many many hoodlums watching in awe.
"Michi.." Izana stays speechless, having given a reality check, he doesn't even notice he's crying as well until his voice cracks very embarrassingly.
"I'm sorry, so sorry Zana..I know you don't forgive me, I know I can't change the fact I am your brother- but I really do love you a lot! So please..can we go home?"
Takemichi sniffles, wiping the tears running down his face, he looks up at Izana, only to be met with a gun pointed right at his brother's head, he stays shocked, and almost like he was thrown back to that day, time goes slow, fast, and then slow again, he notices Izana talking, he notices his own brother crying, but then at the same time, his body moves on autopilot, rushing to push his brother out of the way..
BANG
BANG
BANG
-
"TAKEMICHI!" And suddenly he's thrown back into reality, an agonizing pain running through his whole torso, 3 bullet wounds bleeding profusely, he looks up to see Izana crouched down right in front of him, suddenly it seems it's just the two of them and no one else
"Takemichi! no no no.. I can't- I can't lose you either!" Izana's sobbing voice rings in Takemichi's ears, he raises up a shaky hand, placing it on top of Izana's
"I..zana..it's okay.." Takemichi smiles, and Izana stares in disbelief, his own little brother is dying in front of him, and yet he still smiles?
He holds Takemichi's one hand like it's a lifeline
"Michi you can't die on me! I'm so sorry.. I don't even know why you're apologizing- I should've been a better big brother, Michi- You know what..I'll watch those cartoons with you okay? Just don't close your eyes alright?" Izana sobs and sobs, guilty and guilty, he should've been there for his Michi
Takemichi lets out a weak, wet laugh
"That's a..ll i wanted...z..ana..." An uncomfortable silence stays after that
"Hey..Takemichi..?" Izana shakes the limp body resting on his shoulder, his own uniform drenched in blood.
..
"MICHI!"