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It seemed so pointless 'til you came
My hand, your number and your name
Unease wasn’t something that Jamil was exactly used to feeling. He was a very confident person, and he’d never doubted that he was the perfect fit to keep Kalim safe. (Well, except for that incident, but. He tried not to think about that.) But Jamil was very uneasy now because Ruggie was perfectly silent as he followed Jamil to his room.
He’d shown up at Scarabia after dinner, greeting Jamil and Kalim with his usual cheery smile, though it was weighed down by very obvious nervousness. He’d whispered something to Kalim, making the boy beam at him with his patented Al-Asim smile, then Ruggie had said, “Hey, Jamil, can we go to your room? I gotta talk to you about somethin’. Privately.”
They’d become friends a few months ago, not long after the start of their third year, after they’d gotten wrapped up in a complicated deal with Azul. Actually, after Ruggie had gotten Jamil wrapped up in a complicated deal with Azul. Jamil still wasn’t sure how Ruggie had managed that, but he was pretty sure Ruggie had just thrown out a random name when Azul had asked if Ruggie had anybody he’d been working with, and Azul had leaped at the opportunity to harass Jamil more.
They’d realized then that they had many similarities and a similar work ethic. Becoming friends with Ruggie had been as natural for Jamil as braiding his hair.
Since then, Jamil had begun to foolishly entertain the idea that maybe something good would come out of his time at NRC, something- no, some one that would stay with him even if he managed to get away from the Asims. He shook that thought away, opening the door to his room and turning when Ruggie closed it behind him.
“So, what’s up?”
“Um,” Ruggie cleared his throat. “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just gonna come out ‘n’ say it- I like you, Jamil. A lot.”
Oh, Seven, fuck no . Jamil stared at Ruggie, who shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “Dude?” Ruggie prodded, ears flicking nervously.
“I- Why?” Jamil shook his head when Ruggie started to speak. “I mean, why tell me?”
“Because, I- I kinda thought that, I dunno, maybe you… Liked me too?” Ruggie trailed off at the end of his question, cheeks flushing.
Jamil rubbed his forehead, sighing. “I’m not going to lie, Ruggie, I- I do. I like you a lot more than I would like to, because this can’t ever be a thing.”
Ruggie frowned. “What? Why? Because of the Asims?” He crossed his arms, stepping closer. “I thought you were done giving up your identity for them.”
“I am ,” Jamil snapped, stepping away from Ruggie. “But Kalim is still my priority. He has to be.”
“ Why ?” Ruggie pressed, stepping closer again. And again, Jamil stepped back. Ruggie kept walking closer, though, and Jamil found himself backed against his desk, skin prickling from the tension in the air. “Why won’t you let yourself have just one good thing?”
“I already do have one good thing, Ruggie. I’m not going to tempt Kalim’s family into taking you away from me.” Jamil looked away from Ruggie- he hadn’t meant to say that, hadn’t meant to so boldly put his cards on the table.
Ruggie looked frustrated, eyes flicking from Jamil’s face to the floor. “I can’t believe you, Jamil.”
Jamil looked back at Ruggie, frowning harder when Ruggie went on. “You told me that you wanted to figure out who you are, what you want- and this is a pretty good chance to figure that out, but you won’t take it because you’re afraid.”
“I’m not-”
“Don’t lie to me,” Ruggie snapped, though he didn’t sound angry- just hurt. Upset. On both his and Jamil’s behalf, most likely. He sighed, shaking his head, deflating suddenly. “Look, I won’t make you do anything, Jamil. Just… I wish you’d let yourself have the things you deserve. I wish you were allowed to let yourself have that.”
Jamil pressed his lips together, then softly said, “I want that, too, Ruggie. I want you . But we both know that isn’t an option. Not right now.”
Ruggie crossed his arms tighter over his chest, eyes narrowing at Jamil thoughtfully. “Not right now , but… Later, maybe? If we still feel the same…?”
Jamil gave Ruggie a thin smile. “Later,” he said and wished he wasn’t lying.
Their third-year graduation went smoothly. Jamil was bullied into taking countless photos of Kalim and Silver, and Kalim attempted to sneak pictures of Jamil. Ruggie was tugged between Jamil and Kalim’s sides through the entire night, which Jamil didn’t doubt was a weird way to experience to drastically different personalities from two separate people within a few short minutes.
Jamil didn’t see any of the other third-years (besides Kalim and Silver, of course.) until about six months later, a few months into their fourth-year study term.
He was in the Shaftlands with Kalim, who was studying cultural music and the effects it had on magic, while Jamil further studied the Shaftlands’ interesting ancient magic history. They were in the hotel room the Asims had reserved (bought, really) for them, Kalim sprawled on the bed while Jamil sat in a plush armchair by the window. Kalim was flipping through a manuscript- Jamil didn’t know what it was about- as Jamil took fastidious notes on an old book he’d found in a private library.
Since their graduation, Jamil had become not a servant, but an esteemed assistant to Kalim- his responsibilities had shifted in many ways, though he still often found himself responsible for making sure Kalim didn’t forget to eat and drink enough water. Given his rise in position, Jamil had certain benefits- easier access to high-end materials, more contacts, and more weight behind what he said; it was fantastic.
A knock at the hotel door disturbed Jamil. He looked up, beginning to stand. Kalim beat him to it, rolling off the bed and to his feet in one smooth movement. “I’ve got it, Jamil! Don’t worry about it!”
Jamil nodded, sitting back down. “Thanks.”
“Mhm!” Kalim opened the door and let out an excited exclamation. “Ruggie!”
“Hey, Kalim,” Ruggie said from the doorway.
Jamil was on his feet in an instant, gently putting the old book aside to cross the room to where Ruggie now stood next to Kalim. “Jamil,” Ruggie said with a grin, his tone a bit softer. He immediately reached out to draw Jamil into a hug.
Jamil let him, wrapping his arms around Ruggie’s waist and meeting Kalim’s eyes. His friend- Seven, when did he become my friend? - wore a smug look on his face, and Jamil realized that Kalim had probably planned for Ruggie to show up here. At the very least, he knew Ruggie would be here and didn’t tell Jamil. Ruggie leaned back and said, “You look good.”
Jamil ducked his head slightly. “Thanks. You do, too.”
He did , that was the best part- Ruggie looked healthier than Jamil had ever seen him. He’d spent much of his study term so far in the Sunset Savana with the Kingscholars, studying to begin working on economic repairs. Jamil still wasn’t sure how Ruggie had managed to convince Farena that economic repairs were necessary, but somehow, the beastman had actually managed it. Jamil was proud of him.
Ruggie grinned, preening playfully. “I know, right?”
A beat of silence passed, then Kalim cleared his throat and meaningfully said, “You two are still awfully close.”
Ruggie sprang away from Jamil, laughing. “Right, forgot about that. Ha, my bad, J.”
“It’s fine,” Jamil said. He sorely wished Kalim had kept his mouth shut for just a few more seconds.
The thing was, Jamil wasn’t a physical person by any means. The most physical contact he’d had as a child was from Kalim or his combat trainers. Then, when he was older, it was Kalim and the people that wanted to kill Kalim. As a result, Jamil had spent much of his life hating contact with anyone. Being friends with Ruggie had changed that- Ruggie was the last person at NRC that Jamil would ever be afraid of, and he was the exact opposite of Jamil in the sense that he adored physical contact. At NRC, he could often have been seen playfully punching Savanaclaw boys, or dragging Kalim to his class by the wrist. When he’d become Jamil’s friend, he’d taken to draping one arm around his shoulders at random intervals, flicking his arm for his attention in the library, or finding any excuse he could to have some kind of contact with Jamil.
Honestly, the fact that it had taken Jamil two months to realize that he liked when Ruggie touched him- just a few nights before Ruggie told Jamil how he felt- was sort of embarrassing, given that it had taken one week for Ruggie to become one of the two people allowed to touch Jamil without getting punched, shoved, or otherwise physically threatened.
So, after so many months of not seeing Ruggie, Jamil wanted just a few more moments to enjoy his contact.
Granted, with the news that Jamil had for Ruggie, perhaps he’d be able to freely enjoy Ruggie’s touch whenever he wished.
“Well,” Kalim said, clapping his hands together. “I’m gonna go get some fresh air! I’ve been in this room all day , so I’ll just be on the hallway balcony! See you!”
In seconds, Kalim had his treasured jacket on and the door was slammed shut behind him.
Jamil blinked, then snorted. “He’s so bad at being subtle.”
Ruggie grinned. “Agreed. What was that all about, though? Is he sick of me already?”
Jamil smirked. “I don’t think Kalim is physically capable of getting sick of people. No, actually, I think he left because he knows I’ve got something to tell you.”
“King of Beasts,” Ruggie gasped dramatically. “Are you gay?”
“... What?”
“Oh, no, it’s worse ,” Ruggie cried, throwing one hand over his forehead and theatrically stumbling to the couch, throwing himself down on it as Jamil watched, one eyebrow raised. “You’re pregnant.”
Jamil snorted and deadpanned, “Oh, no, you’ve ruined the surprise. Shut up and sit up, Ruggie.”
Ruggie grinned at Jamil but sat up, kicking off his shoes and then shifting so his legs were tucked underneath him. Dressed in black jeans and a creamy brown pullover, with sage green socks on, he looked oddly… Soft. His hair was a bit shorter, Jamil noted- it wasn’t as choppy, though it was as charmingly tousled as always. “Okay. What’s up?”
Jamil cleared his throat, then leaned over and grabbed a slip of paper from the coffee table. He unfolded it and handed it to Ruggie. “Read this.”
A few minutes later, Ruggie’s jaw dropped, eyes shooting up to Jamil. His mouth slowly closed, then curled into a grin.
Jamil didn’t need to look at the paper to know what it said- he’d read it a hundred times since he’d received it two weeks ago.
As of today, JAMIL VIPER is released from servitude to the Al-Asim household.
From now until the time of termination, Jamil will act not as a servant, but as an assistant to KALIM AL-ASIM. Should Jamil or Kalim choose to cancel this contract, Jamil will be immediately released from any and all service to the Al-Asim household.
Beneath that was the official seal of the Al-Asim household, and Kalim’s father’s signature, along with Jamil’s and Kalim’s.
It was a weird situation, certainly, but Jamil would rather give all his secrets to Cater Diamond before he complained or questioned anything about it. Jamil’s family were still servants, though he’d managed to barter with Kalim’s father enough to guarantee that Najma, at the very least, would stay safely out of harm’s way. In the years since his overblot, Jamil’s relationship with his parents had become strained, moreso than it had been before, and Jamil had reluctantly accepted that his parents no longer viewed him as their son.
In their eyes, he had endangered an Asim, and that was bad enough to forgo any blood connection they had to Jamil.
Najma still called, though. When she could get away with it. And for now, that and the fact that Najma wouldn’t be endangered by the Asims was more than good enough to Jamil to remain content with his current situation.
“Is this real?” Ruggie asked excitedly, ears standing straight up.
“Yeah. You think I’m stupid enough to forge the Al-Asim seal and the patriarch’s signature?” Jamil raised an eyebrow. “Thanks, Ruggie.”
“ Dude !” Ruggie practically tackled Jamil, knocking him backward over the couch. “This is great!”
“I know,” Jamil said, laughing. He braced his hands against Ruggie’s shoulders and added, “And, I figured, it’s been about a month since this deal got officialized. So… If you’re interested, I’d like to-”
“Yes.” Ruggie cut him off, grinning dopily at Jamil. “Yeah, obviously.”
“You didn’t let me finish.”
“ Yes , I’ll go out with you.”
Jamil shook Ruggie lightly, playfully. “Let me finish, asshole.”
Ruggie groaned loudly, sitting back. Jamil sat up, sliding his arms around Ruggie’s shoulders, and pulled him in. With a small gap between their lips, he paused and softly said, “Ruggie, do you want to get dinner with me sometime this week?”
“ Yes ,” Ruggie groaned. Then he smashed his mouth against Jamil’s, knocking them both to the couch again.
Twenty minutes later, Kalim slammed the door open and excitedly said, “Guys!”
Ruggie startled, yelping and falling off of Jamil and the couch, hitting the ground hard. He popped back up, lips kiss-swollen, and snapped, “What the hell!”
Kalim blinked, then broke down cackling. Jamil met Ruggie’s eyes and slowly, he felt a smile come to his mouth.
Yeah, things were pretty good as they were.