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There was an unspoken but known rule of the hermitcraft server that some of their server mates have been through some intense trauma and that all of them have different ways to cope with it. All of the hermits accepted it the day they joined, and as their family grew with time.
Impulse loved every single one of them with all of his heart, even with all the added baggage. He would do anything and everything to appease his family, helping out as much as he could because he simply could.
But it didn’t stop his own problems arising, no matter how hard he tried to push them away. He could almost feel his own words echo back on everytime he would tell another hermit not to push away those feelings, but if there was one thing all of them had in common was their sheer stubbornness.
And the last thing he wanted was to be a bother, he liked helping people, not having others help him.
But maybe it was telling that his coping mechanism was age regression. He didn’t have a lot of allowance to be a kid, so when things got too stressful for him to function, he would regress. On top of that, he regressed young, at an age that having someone to look after him was almost necessary.
Almost at least…
He found a way around it, and for what it's worth, it worked for the most part. Little him didn’t cause much havoc, too young to really care most times. And he also would surround himself with soft items with quiet videos or music playing for him. He would tend to do it before bed, and most times it ends with him sleeping and waking up no longer regressed.
It wasn’t perfect, he knew that, but it was enough for him.
Or maybe it wasn’t.
Impulse has regressed almost every night and yet the stress relief was temporary at best. He had a constant headache and was almost always on the verge of crying. Loneliness has left her sweet touch on him and he couldn't fight her off on his own.
For the first time ever (it wasn't) he wanted to reach out to his family in hopes they could lift him up. But he found himself unsure who he would go to in the first place. No one knew he regressed and it was starting to be a problem more than everything else.
He knew for a fact there were other regressors on the server, and that there were people who were caregivers for them. A small part of him didn't want to go to them in fear that he would be rejected by establishing caregivers since they already had their own to take care of.
Impulse spent hours dwelling over it, causing him to have his headache to get worse and for him to forget basic necessities. He was tired and scared and… regressing.
Without much thought he felt that metaphorical bar drop as his head grew foggy and tears welled up his eyes. He felt so alone in the world all over again, just waiting for someone to find him again.
Little him wasn't allowed to use his communicator, always being out of arm's reach for him to get it. But now it sat in front of him with his contacts open. All he wanted was someone to care for him, and little him was ready for someone to save him.
He was small, no doubt about it, causing him to be unsure of what anything said. Maybe his tears weren't helping with that either. So he just mindlessly tapped at the screen, hoping that something would go through.
And something went through indeed.
ImpulseSV: hluvalhbd
ImpulseSV: LMkabKkllh
Docm77: You okay dude?
TangoTek: Impulse what's wrong??
ImpulseSV: aolloojnoooooh
TangoTek: Where are you Impulse??
Docm77: I'm heading for his mega base
GeminiTay: I'm in his base rn, I don't see him.
Pearlescentmoon: I'm going to his starter base too
ImpulseSV: kkllhslhe isjo
Impulse rubbed at his eyes, tears falling freely. He could feel himself begin to sob, shaking him so deeply. He was so lonely and no one was going to come save him.
None of his little items were around him, no blanket, no stuffed animals, no soft music. Nothing.
His chest hurt deeply as each breath escaped him with little to no air coming back. He was dizzy and felt so sick and he just wanted this to end. The loud whines of his cries echoed around him mutely, barely able to focus on anything around him. He squeezed and scratched at his arms, just to feel anything.
Suddenly, he felt someone's hand on his shoulder, and the sounds of someone speaking to him. Someone took ahold of his hands lightly, pulling them away from his arms to do no more damage. Their hands were so warm and Impulse all but leaned as far as he could into the warmth with his full body.
He was quickly enveloped into a sturdy hug. It kept Impulse together as he cried into their chest. Whoever it was was soft to the touch and much larger than Impulse himself. He could feel himself dropping younger as he nestled into their arms.
The hug had stop most of his crying, but he still felt sick from it. A soft whine left him as he rubbed his face into the other's chest. Whoever was holding him brought up a hand to hold the back of his head, softly petting at it. Ever so softly, he began to hear voices around him.
"Hey, Impulse, everything is going to alright now" it was Tango, without a doubt, but he was behind him. Impulse whined, wanting to go to his friend but also wanting to stay where he was at. He couldn't help the tears that escaped him.
Soft purrs caught his mind though, and the chest he laid on rumbled with it. The anxiety in him eased with him still slightly rubbing his face on the warm fur.
“Is he… regressed?” Pearl wasn’t far from him, but Impulse couldn’t find himself wanting to move from his spot.
"Impulse, are you regressed?" Impulse paused at it, but before the anxiety could make its way back, he felt a hand rub at his back. Reluctantly, he nodded.
“Seems like it” a rumble of the chest he laid on made him quickly realize that it was Doc he was curled up on. He couldn’t help the small whine that left him when he fully processed who he was laying on. Doc was quick to choo at him, scratching at his hair.
As Impulse calmed more and more in Doc’s arms, he could hear shuffling around him, but he didn’t pay much mind as he listened to Doc’s now endless words. He could feel himself grow tired but every part of him fought against it now that he finally had someone here with him.
His squirminess made Doc lighten his hold on him enough to let Impulse lift himself from his chest and finally seeing everyone here. Doc smiled at him, letting him curiously look around.
Tango and Pearl were hard at work at going through shulker boxes while Gem was typing away on her communicator. None of them took too much notice of him, not until they pulled out a small blanket that made him gasp. They all looked to him, causing him to shy away back into Doc’s arm. The man chuckled and rubbed at his back lovingly.
“Nothing to fear, little one, they are getting you gifts” He could hear them shuffling over to him before they sat right beside them. Impulse peaked over Doc’s arms to be met with Tango, Pearl, and Gem making silly faces. Impulse laughed loudly to it as he rubbed his face back into Doc’s chest. When he moved his head back up from Doc’s arm Pearl held out the blanket to him. With his child-like wonder he pulled his arm out to touch it, feeling the softness fill his senses.
He momentarily made a grabby hand to it until he grabbed it gently. Pearl smiled so brightly to him as he pulled the blanket up to his face to let him rub it at it with his cheek.
Impulse eyes watered as a yawn let him shakily. The four of them softly cooed at him again and Doc squeezed him in a hug. But, when they watered up he couldn’t help but cry again at it. They were far less intense than the first one but the sadness of losing this had caused this one.
“You must be so tired, little one. How about we get moving to Gem’s base so we can get you to bed. You can even stay in my arms” Doc moved his hand up to wipe away his tears, pulling Impulse’s focus to land on him. Impulse whined but nodded at him, still slightly crying. One of the others laid a hand on him and leaned over to hug them with their side. Impulse moved his head to look to them, finding Tango smiling at him.
And Gem sat behind him, her sweet smile on display as she puffed out her chest, “I already have a room just perfect for you.”
Doc, as though it was the easiest thing in the world, pushed himself off the ground and stood up with Impulse still in his arms. Impulse wrapped his arms around Doc, tightly holding onto the blanket as he buried his face in the other’s shoulder. Someone’s hand rested nicely on his leg, probably still Tango and he could distantly hear Gem behind him walking towards her base.
He moved his head up to look over Doc’s shoulder to see Pearl grab onto the shulker boxes. She took quick notice of his stare when he started to walk behind Doc, and she started to make all types of silly faces to him. No part of him could stop any of his soft giggling at them as he watched his friend make a fool of herself for him.
It helped make the not actually long walk to the base of Gem’s castle. It wasn’t until he was sitting down on a bed did Impulse fully realize what they were doing. The other three were putting down a few stuffies from the shulker box Pearl had in her arms, making small chat. And Doc was going to lay him down. But he pushed back, grabbing on to his lab coat as tightly as he could.
“Don’t wanna” Impulse cried, pushing himself as close as he could to Doc’s chest’ “Don’t wanna be alone.”
It suddenly got very quiet, and Impulse could almost feel them all staring at him but it didn't matter to him as long as he was as close to Doc as possible right now. Especially as Doc pulled him into a hug, rubbing at him back.
"Oh Impy, you're not alone. We are still here" Tango's voice was muffled but was still clear enough. He wanted to go to his friend so badly. But luckily, as though he was reading his mind, Tango snaked behind him and hugged him. Gem came up to his side with Pearl following close behind. He was able to wiggle his arm out from the hug and reach it out to them. They both softened dearly to it, putting their hands in his.
“How about we watch a movie, and we will all stay with you” Pearl smiled. Impulse blinked for a moment before nodding.
Gem pulled away and before she moved out of the room she leaned over and softly kissed Impulse’s forehead. He shyly turned to Doc and heard her giggle as she left the room. Pearl got up and began shuffling all of the stuffies around so that they all could move up to the headrest. Which Doc did smoothly, not only lifting him but Tango as well, causing the other to squeal loudly to it making Impulse laugh brightly.
Sadly, the bed was not wide enough to lay the five of them side by side at all. But when Gem came in and set up a projector with a movie starting. Doc sat him in his lap, turning him around to watch it. Tango was leaned up on their right and Pearl plopped herself in front of him. And Gem grabbed the small blanket and a plush bear and handed it over to Impulse. She laid down on their left, and let Impulse grab onto her hand and move her fingers.
Impulse didn’t pay much mind to the movie, it was animated and very pretty when he did look but he was just so happy that everyone was here. He could almost cry again he wasn’t having such a hard time keeping his eyes open.
Impulse was so warm when he slowly started to wake up. It was the most comfortable he had been in years, and he simply laid in content in it.
But it was the sound of snoring that had caught him off guard, waking him up immediately. His eyes shot open as he pushed himself from the warmth haven he was just in. It took a moment for his eyes to fully focus on who he was laying on, and who was snoring just to the side of him.
Doc slept relaxed as much as one could sitting up and Tango leaned into him, letting out another loud snore. He went to push himself away only to feel an arm on his leg and see Gem almost curled up by him. His eyes darted back over to Tango to see Pearl was sprawled on his legs.
All he felt was pure embarrassment. The sinking dread of him knowing they knew and what that would mean for him now was seeping into his whole body quickly. With it he pushed himself backwards off the bed, careful not to hurt anyone as he shuffled off completely and stood looking at them.
Doc let out a grunt and was patting at his chest, now lacking Impulse's own warmth. Impulse found himself trapped in his own fear when Doc opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. It didn't take long for the other to make direct eye contact with him, making Impulse lose his breath for a moment.
"Impulse" Doc moved forward, lightly shaking Tango and Gem, both woken up by it.
“I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to see me like that” those words fell off his lips in a whisper, tears threatening to spill. He looked to the ground, wanting so badly for their reactions to never be real.
But, the ground never stopped time, not when Gem got off the bed and took a hold of one of his hands. Tango was close too, setting his hand on his shoulder, lightly squeezing it. Pearl had also leaned into Tango and set her hand right by his. And Doc, simply sat at the end of the bed, not too far to reach out too.
"There is nothing to be sorry for, you've done nothing wrong" Doc hummed to his words.
"You weren't supposed to find out" a tear fell down his face, breaking down the walls as more followed.
Tango moved to hug him around his waist, squeezing even more tears out of him. Pearl wrapped her arms around his shoulder and hid her face in his shoulder. And Gem pulled one of his arms over her shoulder and attached herself to his side. Doc stood up and wrapped them all up in a group hug, letting Impulse cry of his worries and fears in the safety of their arms.
"We are always here for you Impulse, even when you are at your lowest. I promise" Tangos words were followed by the hums of agreement. Impulse squeezed back as much as he could.
"Whenever you need us, we will be here for you. You always take care of us, let us take care of you." Gem cried in his chest, but there was a light cheer to her voice.
"Even when you're small, we are always more than happy to come. Anything to make you happy, like you deserve" Pearl laid his head right by his, quiet with her words.
"You are one of us, even with your extra baggage. Everyone comes with them and we are all happy to have yours with ours" Doc squeezed.
And when Impulse's tears finally ended, he felt so light. He no longer had his big secret, now some of the hermits knew and he was okay with it. Even when they pulled apart and made there was to Gem's kitchen, he felt content and happy as they continued life with him still by their sides.