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“Please, Bradley!” Jake follows Bradley as he walks into his room.
“No, Jake! Why do you want it so badly?”
“Because it would be a great bonding activity!”
“Find another one!”
“Pleaseeeee?”
Bradley turns around and throws his hands up. “Why should I let you dye my hair blonde!?”
“Because you would look good! I saw those pictures of you when you were little and you suit light blonde so well!”
“No, Jake!”
“And he told me no!” Jake whines on the phone to Nat.
“Do you really think he would just let you dye his hair? Do you even know how to dye hair?”
“I mean- It can’t be that hard!”
“You see, even I wouldn’t let you dye my hair.”
Jake perks up. “You just gave me an idea!”
“You’re not dying my hair, Jake. ”
“What if it wasn't me doing it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“It's a great plan really…”
“So you want me to join you both as you dye your hair?”
Jake and Nat glance at each other, then look back at him.
“It'll be like a triangle, really. You’ll dye Nat’s hair, I’ll dye yours, and Nat’ll do mine.”
Bradley turns to Nat. “And you want to dye your hair?”
Nat nods. “Just the two front pieces. It’ll be fun.”
“Okay fine. But on one condition.”
“What?”
“I get to choose your hair color.”
Jake shrugs. Surely whatever Bradley chooses won’t be that bad.
Fuck Bradley Bradshaw. Genuinely. Jake makes sure to put extra bleach in his hair as Nat baths his hair in dark red.
“Hey, where’s your dad?”
Jake pauses. “Hey, where is he?”
Bradley keeps his eyes on the TV, where Mean Girls plays. “He better not come back until my hair’s done. He’s going to go crazy.”
My Darlin’ Husband ❤️😍♥️😘🥰💖💞💓❣️💘💝💏♥️🌷💟🫶❤️🔥
Hey Baby, can you pick up some Costco pizza for tonight?
Fuck. Mav stands outside Costco. He hasn’t been in one since ‘92.
He shivers as he’s reminded of what happened last time.
“I- hic!- I dare you, to go into Costco with my card and try and get more alcohol.”
“Sli- he’s fucking TINY! They probably would try and ID him!”
“Fu- shit!- Fuck you, Wolfe. I’ll fucking do it, just- hic!- just watch me, bitch!”
“I’ll-I’ll give you 5 bucks if you don’t-don’t get caught.”
“And If I do?”
“You have to let me ride-ride your cool ass bike.”
“Fuck no!”
“Okay-Okay okay, you have to drive me on your cool ass bike.”
“Y’know what? Fucking deal.” Wolf holds out his hand for him to shake, and Mav deviously grins as he spits in his hand and shakes Wolf’s.
“EW, MAV, WHAT THE F-FUCK!?” Slider laughs as he takes another swig of their last bottle and hands Mav his card.
Mav mock salutes them. “Godspeed. And Sli-Slider, save some of that for me.”
“Hell no.”
Slider and Wolf are sitting around, sharing the bottle, when suddenly Mav bursts out of the Costco, Security running after him.
As he passes by them he throws Slider’s card back at him, yelling, “RUN BITCHES THEY’RE AFTER ME!!!”
Wolf immediately jumps to start running, stumbling slightly, and Slider fumbles to grab his card before following.
“Shit, Mav! What did you say to get them to come after us?!”
“That’s between me and God, Slider!”
Mav looks up at the sky. Damn God, what did he do recently that deserved this?
He can’t just tell Ice he’s banned. He, Slider, and Wolf made a blood pact to never tell another soul.
After Mav took Wolf for a ride in his motorcycle, of course.
Y’know what? Fuck it. He’s getting a Costco pizza.
“I think we can wash it out now, Brads.”
Nat sits up from where she lays on the couch, having already washed her bleach out. “ I got something for you.” She pulls out an abundance of curly hair products.
“What. Uh, no thanks, I’m good.”
“Yes or no, you have curly hair.”
“...”
Nat sighs. “Yes, Bradshaw, you do. Yes or no, you don’t have these products I brought.”
“…Yes.”
“Yes or no, your bitchass just bleached his damn hair, and your curls are probably definition and volumeless.”
Bradley rolls his eyes. “…Yes.”
Jake pipes up from where he’s trying to look at his hair in his phone mirror. “Yes or no, can we actually wash this shit out?”
Ice is in a meeting when he feels it. It’s a sense of worry and premonition that he only gets when someone -No, it’s only ever one person- is in trouble.
But Mav’s just at Costco. He’s perfectly fine!
He tunes back into the boring topics as he ignores his subconscious saying IT’S MAV OF COURSE HE COULD GET INTO TROUBLE AT COSTCO!!!
It’ll be fine.
Mav hops on his bike and shoots off, pizza in hand as security runs out, a familiar guard screaming, “I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME YOU BASTARD!!!”
He’s never entering a Costco again.
“See, I told you it would look good!”
“That’s because I put those products in his hair.”
“It would’ve been hilarious if we dyed your mustache.”
“Again, there is nothing you could do to make me let you dye my mustache.”
Someone opens the front door and Jake immediately grabs a blanket and throws it over Bradley's head. “What the fuck, dude?”
“Just be quiet!” A few seconds later, Mav walks into the room, a Costco pizza in hand.
“Woah, you two had fun! What’s with the hair?”
Nat smiles, leaning on the pile of blankets, to Bradley’s chagrin. “We thought it would be a fun bonding activity if we dyed our hair.”
“Okay, that sounds fun! Where’s Brad?”
“Speaking of bonding activities,” Jake and Nat yank the blanket off, showing Bradley in all his blonde glory.
Mav gasps. “Oh my gosh, Bradley! You look just like-“
“Yeah, Jake found an old picture and got an idea.”
Mav ruffles his hair, eyes sparkling. “Oh my, I love it!”
Bradley smiles. “Thanks Dad.”
Jake and Nat fist bump.
“You three look like you had fun,” Ice says when they all sit at the dinner table.
“We did, Pops.”
“Jake, if I may ask, why red?” Bradley snickers as Jake immediately glares at him.
“Collateral damage, Pops, collateral damage.” Mav freezes at that, going unnoticed to everyone except Ice.
“Mav, honey, how was Costco?”
“Uhhhhhhh.”
“ Mav. ”
“It’s safe to say I’m never going there again, sweetheart.”
“ Mav! ”