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It was normal for Josh to have relapses after what happened. But these were becoming way too constant, it had almost become a daily job for his best friend Chris to come over to his apartment and hold him close while Josh just sat on the floor and cried, clinging to his bro's shirt as if Chris was the only one who could protect him.
Chris would only have to wait until night before he'd get a worrying text from his best friend, he'd already have his keys in his hands as he asked if Josh wanted him to come over and he'd already have started up his car before Josh replied. Once he arrived Chris would have the job of trying to find Josh since he somehow managed to find a different place to hide every time Chris came round. Usually he'd have locked himself in the bathroom or just climbed inside the closet but recently he'd become more desperate at finding new places, no matter how risky or small the space was. After finding him Chris wouldn't even speak, he'd just pull his bro close, usually wrapping one of his many layers around him while he shook weakly. From then it would take about 10 minutes of soothing reassurance from the blonde until he'd relaxed, some nights he would be fine after some time and be left to take care of himself. But now... Chris was constantly scared to leave him alone, having to spend the night at Josh's, stretched out on his sofa or even every so often curling up to Josh as they both lay slightly awkwardly in Josh's bed.
Today was different though. Chris had spent the day at his girlfriend Ashley's house trying to study but he was distracted by the continuous worry of his friend being in danger without him there to help. He tapped the pencil in his hand aggressively on the table as Ashley sighed putting down the textbook and looking at him. "Josh?" she asked already knowing what was on Chris' mind and he nodded guiltily. "I think I should go home so that I'm ready when he needs me" he murmured grabbing at his coat and getting up to leave. "Chris." he heard Ashley say as she pulled at his shirt. "I know how you feel about me" she paused "and I know how you feel about Josh" Chris felt heat rise up to his cheeks as he turned to face her. She smiled at him warmly and was calm as she spoke "I know you want to be with him Chris, and I know he wants to be with you too, I don't want to come between you two" He sighed in relief and smiled back at her thankfully before heading out the door and driving home. He was all about road safety and following rules but he couldn't help checking his phone every now and then to make sure he hadn't missed any texts or calls from Josh. Every time he checked his phone continued to have zero notifications and for the time being it relieved him.
As he walked in through the door he sat down stiffly, not wanting to get comfortable as he waited readily for his phone to light up so he could go and check on his bro. There was nothing for a good 40 minutes which seriously worried him. He thought it was stupid to worry at first but Josh's relapses seemed to be getting worse and worse recently, there was no way they could just stop this suddenly. It took the boy another 10 minutes to calm himself before sending Josh a text asking how he was.
Chris was about to lose all hope at this point when his phone suddenly lit up. He snatched it and hastily checked what the message said. Then he froze. His blood ran cold, his heart stopped and his entire body tensed up at the two words glaring back at him on his phone screen.
'Goodbye Chris'
Immediately alarm bells were going off in his head as he sprinted out the door stumbling into his car and hastily revving up the engine. He wasn't a fan of driving fast but this was an emergency. Questions buzzed in his head but he just continued trying to focus on the road. He came to a sudden halt as he noticed the line of traffic in front of him. "No no no no FUCK!" he yelled smashing his fists against the steering wheel and clutching his head tightly between his shaking hands.Clutching the wheel he suddenly swerved the car around aggressively and sped off on the wrong side of the road.
Once he arrived at Josh's place he didn't even bother locking the car as he raced up the steps fiddling with his keys until he found the spare key to his apartment that Josh had given him. Ripping open the door he dashed from room to room looking desperately for him but there was no sign of him hiding anywhere. After calling out his name a few times he gave up on the idea of finding him here, as he turned to leave he noticed a tiny piece of paper fall to the floor from Josh's desk and hesitantly Chris lifted it up, turning it over to read the message on the other side.
'If you're reading this Chris I am so sorry, at least you'll be the last place on my mind since I'm here'
It clicked with Chris where Josh was as he jumped back into his car and drove straight to the park. Despite it only being October it had gotten surprisingly cold around these parts Chris thought as he watched a small flurry of snow fall down onto the road. Pulling up outside the park he slammed his door shut this time locking it before sprinting through the dark park faster than he thought was physically possible. He could barely make out the figure in the distance standing on a tall bridge some feet above the ground. As soon as he recognised this person to be Josh he also realised what he was holding in his hand and his blood ran cold.
"Josh no!" he screamed running up to the surprised man and tackling him to the ground. To begin with Josh tried putting up a fight, attempting to get his hands free from Chris' grasp and trying to kick the younger guy off him. Eventually though he was too mentally and physically drained to do anything and Chris released Josh's wrists as he seemed to collapse weakly against the floor, tears streaming down his face and pathetic whimpers escaping his bit lips.
Making sure he had removed the gun from Josh's reach and sight he slowly pulled him to his knee's, folding his body around Josh so that he could gain some warmth because Josh was wearing nothing but some jeans and a flannel jacket. "You stupid idiot!" Chris cried hugging his boyfriend tightly as if he would never let go, he felt the smaller mans body crumple and shiver at the words and only the sound of muffled sniffs came from below him.
"I'm so sorry Chris, I just can't do it any more it's too hard..." he whimpered as they both just sat there for some time holding each other close and getting out all of their tears. Within time they had both calmed and pulled apart, Chris getting to his feet and offering Josh a supportive hand. When he'd made it to his feet he found himself being pulled into another tight hug as Chris spoke calmly to him. "We're going to get through this Josh, as long as you're a part of my life I'll do anything and everything I can to keep you safe, I promise. Josh couldn't reply he just choked on his tears, resting his head on the taller mans chest as they hugged gently. "Thank you Chris. I love you...so much"