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Ritsu coughed pathetically and pulled his blanket closer to his ears. He sniffled as he curled up underneath the warmth, trying his best to stay warm.
His mom said it was just a little cold and that he’d probably feel better in the morning, but he didn’t feel good right now. He felt like one of those geyser things. He had seen a video at school about how the pressure builds up underneath them before it goes away and they burst— and that’s what he was sure was going to happen to his nose.
He blew his nose again in the hopes of preventing that from happening.
“Ritsu, honey?” Ritsu rolled over as his door creaked open. His mom was leaning into his room with a worried frown. “You ok?”
Ritsu nodded, smiling even though he didn’t really feel like smiling. “Yup,” he croaked before coughing. Okay, maybe he was going to lose his voice. That’d be annoying.
His mom wandered in and sat down carefully on his bed. She brushed back the hair on his forehead and rested the back of her hand on his skin. He closed his eyes and pushed further into her touch.
“You don’t have a fever,” she told him, running her fingers through his hair. “Do you have enough tissues?”
Ritsu nodded, his eyes trailing over to the half-used box of tissues on his side table and the pile of crumpled ones on the floor. “Mhm.”
“Alright.” His mom leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Love you, honey.”
“You’ll get sick,” he murmured, scrunching his nose up but not making an effort to move away from her. He would never admit it, but he secretly loved the extra attention from his mom. That was one of the only good things about getting sick.
“I can handle a few germs,” she assured him, patting his cheek before standing up slowly. “Alright, you try to sleep. Is it ok if Shige comes in to say goodnight?”
…um…
It’d be mean if Ritsu said no. He- he doesn’t want to say no! Shige is so kind and he really didn’t mean for it to happen. Ritsu knows that! …but his body couldn’t seem to understand that.
No matter how hard Ritsu tries, he still finds himself inching away from Shige. He stubbed his toe that morning, and when the tears inevitably began to well in his eyes, Ritsu wanted to run and hide. Ritsu still rubs his fingers over the fresh scar on his scalp and can feel pain that he knows isn’t there anymore.
He’s not scared of Shige… he’s- he’s scared of his emotions. That’s it. He’s scared of the thing that came out when Shigeo got scared. And even though it inevitably protected them, it caused more injury than Ritsu could’ve thought was possible. Before then, he didn’t even realize that Shige could be dangerous.
But now that he’s made the realization…
His mom sighed and bent down, ruffling his dark hair. “It’s ok. I’ll let him know you’re not feeling good enough.”
…he didn’t want that either. But his mom was already out the door before he could convince himself to change his mind.
-
Sayuri shut the door softly behind her, unable to take the frown off of her face. She understood Ritsu’s apprehension…
Shigeo tugged on her pajama pants leg from the floor, his large eyes staring up at hers with hope. “What’d he say?” He asked, his voice so timid that Sayuri almost couldn't hear him.
She had come out of her room to see Shige sitting against the wall next to Ritsu’s door, his arms wrapped around his legs and his forehead pressed to his knees. When she asked what he was doing, he said that he wanted to make sure Ritsu wouldn’t be lonely.
Shige had always felt lonely when he was sick. He hated being confined to his room and unable to play with his brother.
Now he rarely left.
Sayuri smiled carefully at him, her heart twisting. She sat down next to him and draped an arm over his shoulder. Shige tucked closer to her, his face falling the slightest bit. He hadn’t been showing much of anything lately, but Sayuri was already able to begin reading what he was feeling again.
She hated it. She hated it so much.
She hated that her beautiful son had to be scared of himself. Her son who was so kind, caring, and lovable. Her son who would beg his dad not to smack a fly. Her son who loved Ritsu more than anything in the world.
“I’m sorry,” she told him softly, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into her lap. He rested his cheek on her shoulder, his small breaths tickling her collarbone. “He’s not feeling too good right now. He doesn’t want to get you sick.”
Shige didn’t reply and she hugged him closer, rocking him gently. She knew that he didn’t believe it. Shigeo was too smart for his own good. If he didn’t know that Ritsu was scared, he wouldn’t have shut off all of his emotions. If he wasn’t so aware, he would continue feeling everything at a hundred percent like he should.
Sayuri knew that raising a son who was a psychic would be hard. But she thought it would be things like him bending spoons at dinner, or sneezing and sending things flying. Not getting so scared that his emotions make his powers go haywire.
But Sayuri loved him. She loved and cared for him so much, and just the idea that her two sons were on edge made her want to cry. Because it wasn’t something that could be solved with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ and a hug.
And she knew that Ritsu hated it too. She knew that Ritsu wanted to be normal with Shigeo again, but she could see it in his eyes. She knew that he was scared whenever Shigeo would start to cry. She had seen the way he flinched when Shigeo sneezed and the silverware jumped.
This was a time thing. Some day, they could talk about it and make things right. But she couldn’t be upset at Ritsu for being scared when he so clearly doesn’t want to be.
She wanted her family back to normal, but she would still love them. She would do her best to make an environment where both of her perfect children could grow and be proud of who they are. And hope and pray that one day, her sons could go back to what they had.
Shigeo leaned back to look up at her. His face was painfully still and she wished more than ever that she could make her smile spread onto his. “You should go to bed.”
Sayuri laughed quietly, pushing back her son’s blunt bangs. “You should already be asleep,” she reminded him, kissing his forehead.
Shigeo’s thin lips pulled into a fragile smile before he pulled himself out of her grasp and stood up. “Goodnight.”
Sayuri felt a tug at her heart and stood up alongside her son. She pulled him in for another quick hug. “I love you, honey.”
“I love you too,” he said, his voice muffled from her nightshirt.
After that, Sayuri herded him off to sleep before making her way into her bedroom. With a heavy sigh, she sat down next to Haruo and put her head in her hands. Her husband rolled over and muttered something in confusion before sitting up beside her.
“Ritsu doin’ ok..?” He mumbled through his sleepy haze, dropping his head against her shoulder.
Sayuri sniffed and nodded. “Yeah.”
He squeezed her hand. “You doin’ ok?”
Sayuri shrugged, resting her cheek against his curly hair.
“Mm…” Haruo wrapped his large arms around her and slowly pulled her into bed. She turned around and pressed herself close to his warmth, threading her arms around his waist. “Should we talk about it now or in the morning?” He asked with a loud yawn, hugging her close to his chest.
“Morning,” her muffled voice replied. “‘M tired.”
Haruo kissed the top of her head before pulling the blanket over them and sighing contentedly.
She could worry about the boys in the morning. Nothing was going to change in one night, no matter how badly she wished it would.
It was a waiting game. And she was willing to go the long run.
-
Shigeo couldn’t fall asleep.
He could hear Ritsu sniffling and coughing from the other room. He knew it was just a cold, but Shigeo always hated it when he got sick. He didn’t like that Ritsu had to get sick too. He…he had gone through enough already. He didn’t need to be up all night coughing.
He wanted to see him. He wanted to tell him that he was going to feel even better in the morning and that they could play together tomorrow!
But they wouldn’t. They don’t do that anymore.
Shigeo wished he could. He wanted to be with Ritsu like normal, but he felt too guilty to even consider it. He had hurt Ritsu so badly… He could still see it in his nightmares.
Shigeo stroked the top of his frog plushie’s head. Its black bead eyes stared soullessly into his, the soft light from his lamp not making a reflection on the surface. He wished he could have those eyes. Eyes that felt nothing. That way he wouldn’t have to be scared of hurting Ritsu anymore.
He hugged the frog close to his chest and laid back down.
After a while of not paying attention to the time flying by, something pricked his ear.
It sounded like Ritsu was coughing harder now.
It was just a cold, Shigeo knew that. If it was really a problem, his mom would be awake and in there with him already.
The coughing calmed down before it went back to the quiet with an occasional blowing of a nose piercing the air.
Just as Shigeo was starting to go back to sleep, his brother started coughing again. Now that he had picked out the noise again, it was all he could hear.
He couldn’t just lay there and pretend like it wasn’t happening… He wanted to sit with Ritsu and help! If he knew what medicine to give him, he would give him that! Even though he was sure his mom had already given him some. He wanted to pat his head and tell him it’ll be okay since he always loved it when his dad would do that.
Eventually, Shigeo couldn’t take it anymore and got out of his bed and padded down the hall. He stopped in front of Ritsu’s door and hesitantly grabbed the handle. He took a deep breath and pushed it open, hoping that the soft creak wasn’t too loud.
-
Ritsu didn’t even bother to sit up as his blurry eyes shifted to see Shigeo standing in the doorway.
His heart leapt and he felt a smile pull on his face. “Shige?” He whispered, sitting up slowly as he stared at his brother. “It’s really late, you should be asleep.” Of course, he should be asleep too. But the medicine his mom gave him that was supposed to make him sleep wasn’t.
Shigeo’s eyes drifted to the floor, his thin lips pressed into a tight line. Ritsu watched as he fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt, clearly trying to think of something to say.
In the corner of Ritsu’s mind was a small voice telling him to be wary. To tell him to tell his brother to go back to sleep and to leave him alone. To hide under the covers.
…Ritsu didn’t want to though. It was late and he was tired… and he really wanted his older brother.
“Are you feeling any better?” Shige asked eventually, his voice wavering the slightest bit. “Your cough sounds like it hurts.”
Ritsu shrugged sluggishly, still tired from the lack of sleep. Just unable to sleep. “Kinda, but it’s ok.” He pulled his blanket up further, the chill of his room making him regret sitting up.
“Ah…” Shigeo nodded.
Neither of the boys said anything for a few moments. Ritsu wanted to tell Shigeo to come in and sit on the bed with him. He kind of wanted to ask him to have a sleepover with him like they used to. But… but what if Shigeo had a nightmare in the night and that thing came out again?
Shigeo shuffled awkwardly before taking a small step back. “Can I get you anything?” He murmured hesitantly.
Ritsu didn’t want him to leave. But he couldn’t get rid of the voice in his mind telling him to be scared. So Ritsu shook his head and carefully laid himself back down in the hopes of not starting another coughing fit. “I’m ok. Thanks, Shige.”
Shigeo nodded before taking another step out and shutting the door carefully behind him.
Ritsu sighed and rolled over onto his side, tucking his knees close to his chest. He coughed a few more times from the exertion of talking and tried to go back to sleep. That way he could ignore the conflicting thoughts in his mind.
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he heard a soft knock on his door.
Ritsu rolled over again as the door opened slowly. He expected to see his mom, but instead, Shigeo was back. His eyes were stuck on the two mugs he was carrying as he slowly made his way across the room. Each step was deliberate and careful, his eyebrows furrowed so intensely that they could be seen from underneath his bangs.
Ritsu felt himself tense as Shige got closer to set what must be Ritsu’s mug on his side table. He watched as the steam floated off of the nice-smelling water and noticed the tea bag string hanging over the side.
“Can I sit with you?”
Ritsu looked back at Shigeo, who was staring intently into his own mug. His shoulders were tight and his toes curled, ready to be pushed away. Ready to try to protect Ritsu from himself.
But Ritsu didn’t want that! He wanted to be normal with his brother again! He just… didn’t know how.
So he took a deep breath, coughed from the intake, and nodded. “You can stay,” he told him with a smile. He sat up carefully and took a sip of the hot tea as Shigeo smiled softly and settled on the floor.
“Mom says that milk doesn’t help when you’re sick,” Shigeo explained quietly as he wrapped both of his little hands around the cup. “So I made you tea instead. I think that’ll help.”
Ritsu grinned and nodded. “It’s great, Shige!” He took another drink before pausing. “It tastes like mom’s expensive tea,” he noted, a little confused.
Shigeo shifted uncomfortably before shrugging. “I thought you would like something special since you couldn’t have milk,” he admitted, taking a long sip from his mug.
Ritsu’s eyes widened. “Shige, what if she gets upset?”
Shigeo shrugged again. “I’ll give her some of my allowance. Master has been paying me.”
That…was so kind! Ritsu smiled and blew on the top of his drink. Shigeo wanted to give him something special!
“What’s your master like?” Ritsu asked, tilting his head at his brother. They hadn’t been talking much lately so he really didn’t know much about him.
“He’s so cool,” Shigeo told him. His face didn’t change much, but Ritsu could hear how his voice grew slightly more vibrant. “He’s really powerful, but also super kind. He gave me a candy bar yesterday since I helped him clean up around the office.”
“Woahh,” Ritsu breathed— well, tried to. He ended up coughing. “I want a master,” he choked out after a moment.
Shigeo furrowed his eyebrows at him. “You shouldn’t talk,” he said carefully. “You’ll lose your voice.”
“Oh.” Ritsu clamped his mouth shut. He didn’t want to do that.
Shige took another slow drink from his mug before setting it off to the side. Ritsu watched as Shigeo picked himself up before wandering over to Ritsu’s bookshelf.
He tilted his head as his brother ran his hands along the spines before he pulled one out. Ritsu was able to get a glance at the cover before Shige tucked it close to his chest. He was pretty sure it was a Dr. Suess book that their dad used to read to them.
Shigeo paused just as he started to make his way towards Ritsu. “Um… Can I read to you?” He whispered, his eyes stuck on the floor.
Ritsu’s heart leapt in his chest and he nodded quickly. He scooted over as he flicked on the light next to his bed. He glanced back to see Shigeo staring at the newly vacant spot on his bed as his fingers curled into the book.
Why was he..?
…oh…yeah.
Ritsu slowly sat back down as his bed squeaked softly, the two suddenly stuck in a staring contest.
He wanted Shige to sit on his bed and read to him like they used to (even though Ritsu was the one who would read.) He didn’t like that he was scared of something Shigeo couldn’t control… he didn’t like that Shige seemed to be scared of it too.
Shigeo took a small step back before slowly sitting down on the floor.
That was not what Ritsu wanted either! Ugh, why couldn’t he make decisions faster! Why couldn’t he get his brain to do what he wanted it to!!
No! No, tonight they can be normal! Ritsu was sick, and sick nights mean that he can ignore his homework. And this counts as that too.
“Shige,” Ritsu said after a cough.
His brother glanced up from the cover of the book and tilted his head. “Mh?”
Ritsu patted the space on the bed next to him, grinning brightly at his brother. “You can’t see the light from over there.”
A tiny smile blossomed on Shigeo’s face and he scrambled to his feet, leaving his drink behind. He crawled onto the bed and sat down next to Ritsu, leaving a fair bit of space between them that…Ritsu was frustratingly thankful for.
But Shigeo was pleased. He crossed his legs and patted Ritsu’s knee, which was something that he had picked up from their dad. “Ok…um…” Shigeo opened the colorful book and furrowed his eyebrows at the words. “‘Green Eggs and Ham by Doctor…’” Shige leaned closer to the book. “See-us?”
“Seuss,” Ritsu corrected gently before taking a sip of his tea, hoping to quell the itching in his throat. The idea of drinking his mom’s forbidden tea made his heart beat a little faster. This was exciting! They were staying up late and…and being like friends again!
“Oh. Right.” Shigeo turned the page before showing the picture to Ritsu. “‘I am Sam.’”
“But you’re Shige!” Ritsu giggled.
Shige’s smile grew slightly and he nodded. “‘That Sam-I-am!’” He paused before tilting his head. “Is his name Sam or Sam-I-am?”
Ritsu frowned and scooted closer to Shigeo’s side so he could lean over his shoulder. “I think his name is Sam-I-am. Cause that’s how they say it for the rest of the book.”
“Weird,” Shige noted.
Shigeo continued reading, slowly growing more confident in the words that he was saying. Ritsu eventually got tired of having to crane his neck to see the photos, so he shifted so he could lean against his brother’s shoulder and read over it.
For a moment, he was worried. He wasn’t willing to put his full weight on his brother and he could feel Shigeo tense and stumble in his words.
But then Shigeo dropped his head on top of Ritsu’s for a moment, letting his black hair tickle the top of Ritsu’s head. Ritsu laughed quietly before relaxing against him and reading the words alongside Shige.
“I would eat green eggs and ham,” Shige declared after he was a few pages in. “Sam-I-am is proud of them. I wouldn’t wanna tell him no.”
Ritsu scrunched his nose and yawned before coughing weakly. “That’s gross, Shige.” His mom’s medicine was starting to work…
“If you gave me green eggs and ham, I’d eat it,” Shigeo told him seriously. He pointed at the photo of the eggs and ham. “It’s the color of a frog. And you know I like frogs.”
“You wouldn’t want to eat a frog though,” Ritsu mumbled, his eyelids growing heavier by the second.
“Dad likes frog legs,” Shigeo remembered. “But I don’t think I’d like them.”
“Mm,” Ritsu hummed, nuzzling his cheek against Shigeo’s shoulder.
There was a beat of silence before Shige pat Ritsu’s leg again and continued reading.
In the back of Ritsu’s mind, he was vaguely concerned about getting Shigeo sick. He was still a little worried about that thing taking over Shige and an accident happening…
But his eyelids were heavy and Shige was warm, and his voice was nice to listen to that he felt himself falling asleep. Just like they used too.
-
The first thing Sayuri did when she woke up was check on Ritsu. She really hoped he was able to get some amount of sleep. She had barely been able to get any herself just listening to him cough.
She rolled out of bed, pulled on a light sweater to ward off the morning chill, and made her way into the hallway. She paused as she shut her own door, the smell of Haruo cooking bacon wafting upstairs. They had planned to have an early breakfast together before he would head off to work, and even though she was excited, if Ritsu needed her she would take a rain check.
It was early enough that Ritsu would still be asleep anyways, but she knew that when he was sick he had an awful time sleeping. She just hoped he had been able to at least get a few hours.
She carefully pushed his door open, not sure if she had left it cracked the night before. Maybe he went to the bathroom in the night.
She peaked her head in, not sure what she was expecting to see aside from a pile of tissues on the floor and Ritsu tucked in bed neatly.
But Shige was in here, and the two were tangled together. Ritsu was cozy under his blanket, and even though the two were snuggling, Shigeo hadn’t been lucky enough to get a blanket— which explained the random pillow covering his legs. Ritsu was snoring somewhat loudly due to his stuffy nose, but both were sound asleep and didn’t look to be waking up anytime soon.
The light on Ritsu’s dresser was still turned on, and the book Green Eggs and Ham was lying face up on the floor. A mug of cold milk was next to it, and she could see that on the dresser, Ritsu had a mug of his own; except his had a suspiciously familiar tea string hanging out of it.
But her heart melted at the sight.
Sayuri smiled brightly, her chest swelling.
Even if it was just for one night, her boys were together. Like they were before.
She ventured in to flick off the light and watched as Shigeo’s squinted eyes relaxed the slightest bit. She resisted the urge to kiss their foreheads for fear of waking them up and turned to the closet. She pulled out a throw blanket that Ritsu had and draped it over Shigeo. She gently smoothed the blanket out on Shige’s back before pulling away and pressing her lips together.
She wished they could stay this little forever. She wished she could go back a few months and let them stay innocent. To keep them from knowing that Shige’s abilities could be dangerous.
“Love you two,” she whispered to them as she closed the door behind her.
-
Shigeo ended up getting sick in the next few days, but Sayuri couldn’t find it in her heart to remind them that when sick they can’t hang out as closely.
When Ritsu came home from school, he gave Shige a slightly deformed paper-craft frog that he had made in art class with ‘get well’ scrawled on the back.
Sayuri loved her children more than she thought was possible.