Chapter Text
“ I forgive you- ” Aziraphale choked out as he stared at Crowley, his eyes wide in shock, his whole body seemed to be shaking he couldn't process what had happened, his mind seemed clouded he didn't want to say that! No no no Crowley wait- But he couldn't get his body to move after him and his mind felt more and more foggy and fuzzy until he couldn't see anything at all.
“ Don't bother. '' Crowley growled before he turned and left the bookshop with anger and a horrible sadness building in his chest. He couldn't do this, how could Aziraphale choose heaven over everything they'd built together here! Everything felt wrong. He'd seen the shock on Aziraphales face when he had kissed him, and now he’d screwed everything up and Aziraphale would be gone forever. He leaned against the Bentley watching the bookshop, where the Metatron had just gone in.
Aziraphale walked out of the bookshop glancing towards Crowley and the Bentley before he straightened his vest and turned to the elevator following the Metatron into it without hesitation. Crowley turned back to the Bentley, opened the door and got inside he held back the tears as he drove away; he didn't want to deal with that at the moment. He just tried to focus on driving and not getting into an accident.
Crowley parked the bentley and stalked into a random pub to very quickly get drunk by having ordered more alcohol then he probably ever had before, he downed the drinks quickly before just sitting down and staring at the bar counter in front of him he could feel the tears building in his eyes it stung badly, he had his glasses on which mostly hid the tears he didn't need some random human trying to talk to him or get him to “open up” about what was happening not like a human would understand it but still, HE DEFINITELY DID NOT NEED THAT.
He let the tears fall at that point, they dripped down onto the counter he could feel them burning his skin everytime they landed on it. Finally he forcefully shook his head making the tears disappear from his eyes for just a moment before they welled up in his eyes again, he managed to hold back any sounds that would have come with the tears but his control was quickly fading and he stood up and rushed out of the pub and back to his car where he locked himself inside, his mind raced. How could he do this to me? He went right back to the very people who tried to burn him alive in hellfire, but apparently that didn't matter to him because he was completely gone and heaven had its nasty hands on him again. The dim light of morning started glowing through the cars windows. Crowley stared out at the sky.
Up in heaven
Aziraphale stared at the windows overlooking everything his head seemed so much more clear now and not as foggy as it had been, the white walls of heaven seemed so blinding he tried to just focus on himself his fingers ran over the ring on his pinky finger almost seeming to find comfort in it. He just stared out the window, his head beginning to race with the ways he might be able to get Crowley up in heaven with him, he can't be that stubborn right- maybe I'll just have a few angels go get him and bring him up he- NO! His brain seemed to scream, he'd never forgive you for that, don't be stupid Aziraphale.
He turned towards the elevator looking at it nervously nervously, he could leave if he so wished. Would they even stop me? Would Crowley come with me if I promised to change everything? He asked himself quietly before he jumped as he felt a hand touch his shoulder and turned to see the Metatron standing there, his mind immediately seemed to go fuzzy again as he stared at them.
“Leaving already Aziraphale ?“ The Metatron asked in almost a stern voice he seemed to somehow get his point across that even if Aziraphale had wanted to leave he wouldn't be allowed to. The fuzziness in Aziraphale’s head seemed to get worse as he stared at the Metatron.
“Leaving? Who said anything about leaving- i certainly didn't!” Aziraphale stuttered in a panic as he took a step back and looked away from the Metatron his head felt too fuzzy, something was wrong, something was very wrong! Aziraphale tried to focus on the windows that overlooked everything, he wanted whatever that feeling in his mind was to disappear. But that feeling did not disappear; it got worse until he felt himself disappear in his own body.
–------------------2 weeks later—-------------------
Crowley had been drunk everyday sense Aziraphale had left, its not like he had a reason not to be, the person he had loved for so long had left just like that. It didn't feel right, sure he knew Aziraphale might have always been loyal to heaven in one way or another but- Ugh why did you have to leave angel!”
“I hope your superr- happy up there are you not Ang- Aziraphale-! Leaving your best Friend for those monsters!” Crowley's drunken screaming continued as he stumbled down the street, the dim lights of homes and street lights reflecting on his glasses. “Can you even see me up there Aziraphale? Can you even see anything up there?” Crowley kept shouting, luckily no one was around to see him losing it like this. He ended up collapsing downwards his body giving out to the ungodly amount of alcohol he had consumed, he hit the ground hard knocking himself out.
When Crowley woke up he was in a small pool of blood and vomit, the demon jumped up and quickly wiped his face off while shaking his head. Shit, shit, shit, how long was I out for?! Crowley stumbled away leaving the half empty bottle of wine on the curb. He walked back to his car, as he approached he noticed something sticking out of the door it looked like a letter.
“Oh- great.. ” Crowley muttered as he pulled the door open and grabbed the letter before it fell, he held it up in the dim early morning light, the bright red writing on the front being his name. Crowley knew almost instantly that it was from hell and that his name was probably written in blood.
Crowley climbed into the Bentley and carefully opened the letter.
Crowley.
You are being offered the position that beelzebub once held because no one else wishes to take her place, you can come back no questions asked and be as powerful as you could want! All we ask is you don't tell anyone the position we have offered you if you choose to decline our proposal.
– Hell's dark counsel.
Crowley reread the letter a hundred times mostly out of pure shock on what he was reading, they wanted him, the traitor, to take beelzebubs position and be a lord of hell and possibly more if he came back. This has to be a trick… he thought as he reread the letter again, maybe some stupid prank. But what if it isn't- back to hell that would be going against what he had said to Aziraphale, hell and heaven were toxic- maybe this is just their plan to separate us further.
As Crowley's brain raced a voice in the back of his head seemed to whisper at him to do it, he could be as powerful if not more powerful then Aziraphale now undoubtedly was. What am I even going to do here? Just stare at the bookshop and hope Aziraphale comes back, he's never coming back. He made his choice and now Crowley had to make his, and if Aziraphale already saw him as an evil demon he might as well be one. Crowley started the Bentley and drove off towards the nearest entrance to hell.