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Bad feels sick to his stomach. Not the kind of sick you feel when you eat the wrong thing. And not the sick you feel when you are worried. No… Bad is disgusted, and can feel it twist and tangle his insides. The bile rises up in his throat and burns the same as the tears that threaten to fall. The anger he feels mingles with despair and disbelief. How have they come to this moment?
This beautiful scene… so at odds with the turmoil he feels. The red roses fill the air with a sweet smell that overwhelms and he is certain will give him a headache if he stays too long. The river view highlighted with red leafed trees is something out of a painting, and the perfect backdrop for the perfect conversation.
He’s starting to hate that word… ‘Perfect.’
Bad feels so far from perfect he can’t even tell which direction he would need to go to get there.
The red background and the feeling in his gut reminds him of another time and place. Another red scene. Another feeling of loss. Another situation where everything got away from him, and his careful control was ripped away. Where he was helpless to stop everything once it had started rolling down hill.
Helpless.
That was the correct word.
Not perfect.
He couldn’t even pinpoint where it all went so wrong. Somewhere between the election, and Forever locking him in a cage. And really… he should have seen it coming. He had foolishly and stubbornly kept playing their little games, allowing himself to grow more and more attached. It had filled a void in him he struggled to acknowledge. Maybe if he wasn’t so desperate to find the easy fix to his problems he wouldn’t be sitting next to a bigger one. Only a few days ago things had seemed solvable. But now he sees that there were signs, and it was only a matter of time. The bottom had to fall out at some point.
It nearly always did.
But this time… This time it felt so much more malicious. So much more personal.
His ears echo and he feels the sounds vibrate through him so strongly he has an out of body experience. Bad feels for a moment like he’s floating. It’s a terrifying feeling, knowing how far down you have to drop. And the drop comes for him quickly.
Plummeting back down into his body, making him feel his own weight pressing down upon the bench a little more than before. He flinched away from the warm body next to him finding no comfort in the company.
He tries to get things back on track, hardly able to remember what he heard seconds before.
“No… I mean… What do you want?” Bad says firmly, his tone hard and unfriendly.
“Why… don’t we…” Forever’s excited voice causes Bad’s stomach to drop further down. “Just get married!”
Ah… So he had heard correctly. The last few moments come back into his mind, the shock having worn off upon the confirmation he had heard correctly.
He had asked a question. “What do you want Forever?”
And the answer. The sick and twisted answer had torn his faith in Forever to ribbons with razor sharp talons. “I want to get married.”
Forever had now said it twice. And Bad was disgusted, and wary. He wasn’t sure who he was sitting next to anymore, it certainly wasn’t Forever.
“Do you know what happened to the eggs? Do you know where they are?” He pressed, turning to face Forever.
“Let's get married.” All Bad notices is the empty look in Forever’s eyes. He might as well be dead. There’s nothing left of the man he had grown to care for anymore.
He recalls another man he had cared for sinking into a pit of lava right in front of his eyes, and it occurs to Bad that this is the same feeling of helplessness that he felt then.
Only worse. There is an incredible feeling of loss for the person, of course. But in this case he also feels all the fondness for Forever drain out of him. Like he’s a bathtub and the stopper was yanked out. Every positive emotion, swirling round and round down the drain. Gone with his trust, and loyalty. There’s nothing between them now, there never can and never will be. Bad won’t have it.
Some things are unforgivable. And this moment, right here, was a line in the sand that Bad hadn’t even been aware that he possessed. He only knew it when they had flown past it, and now it was too late and couldn’t be taken back.
Still… He can’t just walk away. “What’s happened to you, Forever?” He asks. Bad is careful to keep his tone accusatory. There will be no softness here. No mourning. Not yet.
“Let’s just get married.” Forever insists again as the cheers of their friends come closer.
Bad understands that this is a part of Forever’s madness. But he can’t help but be frustrated by it.
“You’re not focused, Forever.” Bad says under the shouts of Fit and Tina.
“Yea, I’m totally focused. I’m happy!” Forever replies. The upwards intonation at the end of ‘happy’ is so unlike how Forever speaks Bad wants to laugh. It feels artificial. Like plastic in a river, or oil floating on top of a pond. It’s so out of place it’s all he can focus on. It screams of sickness and lack of care. The filthy remains of callous mistreatment.
Even when Forever demands that their friends leave so he can ask Bad to marry him, it’s all he can think about. Replaying it in his head, and finding it more and more blatantly out of place each time.
He is snapped back into the present when Forever starts yelling at the others to leave. Nothing about this is right. Bad had occasionally wondered what it might be like to have Forever ask him to marry… But this was all wrong. Everything about it was so horribly wrong, for a moment Bad wished that this was just a nightmare, and he would wake up to Dapper and the eggs returned, and Forever his usual self.
But he refused to let himself live in delusion.
And somehow his friends can’t even tell how messed up this whole thing is, and he’s telling people there won’t be any weddings.
Like a punch to the gut, Bad realizes a Federation wedding would be the perfect thing to distract everyone from the eggs being gone. Which makes him deny it all even more. He would rather die than be used as a distraction from getting their children back. Rage fills him with resolve.
“He’s obviously not in his right mind.” He insists.
They’re left alone. Bad think grimly that he would never leave his friends in this kind of situation.
“So Bad… Don’t you think this place is beautiful?” Forever asks. Bad’s stomach rolls with revulsion.
“I guess.” He manages to reply, scooting down the bench away from Forever.
“So Bad…” Forever scoots closer. “What is it going to be? Are we going to get married? Or not?”
“Why do you want to get married?” Bad asks. He isn’t sure why he asks the question. Call it morbid curiosity. Call it a way to distract Forever long enough to think of a way to escape. Or maybe he still has a little bit of hope that there is still a real part of Forever trying to get out.
“Because everything is perfect! Right?” Forever exclaims.
Ah yes… that word again.
“A marriage would be perfect as well.” Forever adds.
“Why do you think everything is perfect?” Bad asks.
“Why don’t you think everything is perfect?” Forever asks back.
Maybe he’s also going crazy but Bad thinks he hears Forever’s tone shift. There’s an uncomfortable hint of panic.
“Because we don’t have our kids, Forever.” Bad says softly. More than he had intended. But it’s clear to him in this moment how far Forever has fallen, and he gives himself this one moment of mercy. These soft words are his prayer and his apology. “They’re gone.” He finishes. And he hopes that there is a part of Forever that hears him say ‘Don’t leave me too.’
“No… They’re fine.” Forever scoffs. “You’re not seeing the world the way you should. And I’m here for you.” Forever says.
Bad wants to scream. If Forever was here. Really here. They would be working until they collapsed to get their kids back. They would pour over every detail together. They would work together to destroy the Federation. Forever would lean on Bad when things got hard, and Bad would let himself show just how badly he was dealing with everything to Forever. He wishes, Prime how he wishes, to be able to collapse into Forever’s arms and they would cry together, steal a few hours of sleep and then with quiet words of comfort find the strength to get up and keep going. Prime, Bad needed Forever in this. But instead… Instead there was this shell of a man. Empty save for his ugly words and lies. And Bad is alone desperately trying to piece it all together again.
He felt the fury burn in him. How dare Forever do this. How dare he leave Bad alone to suffer.
“I’m going to tell Cucurucho to help you like he did with me.” Forever insists.
Bad flinches. “I don’t want his help.”
“You need his help, Bad.” Forever insists.
Bad only thinks that he needed Forever. The real Forever. “I don’t need his help.” He mumbles.
“Bad. You are looking bad, Bad.” Forever pressed.
“I feel fine.” He says stiffly. The others had pointed out how he was losing his color. He denied it but one look in a mirror and he saw what they did. Bad knew it was true, but it didn’t mean he wanted the constant reminders.
“Then let's get married.” Forever says slyly.
“Forever… You know what would help me?” Bad asks.
“What?” Forever asks back.
“Tell that white puff ball to give me back my son.” Bad says sharply. “To bring back all of our kids.”
Forever plays stupid.
“What? What does he want? What does he want, Forever?” Bad shouts.
“Why do you think he is the one who has your child?” Forever asks in a more serious tone. “Why are you exploding the whole city? Why did I become the President to help everyone for you to all explode the city?” Forever’s voice cracks. “It’s funny, this is perfect.”
He says more but Bad refuses to listen. “We need our kids back, Forever. That’s why. All Cucurucho has to do is return the eggs. I want Dapper back. I want Pomme back. All the kids back.”
“Why do you think Cucurucho is the one with the eggs?” Forever asks angrily this time.
“He’s obviously the one with the eggs.” Bad insists back.
Forever just laughs and asks him for proof.
Bad feels himself growing more and more frustrated, trying to ask questions and demand explanations to only have Forever laugh in his face is like a punch to the gut.
He’s tired. So tired. It’s impossible to fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for.
And when Bad throws Forever’s behavior in his face, he can see the man nearly crumble under the truth.
“You guys are just so funny with that clock joke. I want to test something.” Forever mumbles. “Don’t you want to get married?”
Bad takes a deep breath and steels himself for whatever is coming. “I want my son back. I want Dapper.” He watches warily as Forever leaves the bench. “I want Pomme…”
He’s out of the seat as soon as the slingshot is in Forever’s hand, barely dodging the first explosions.
Bad resorts to potions to make up for falling health. The sting of fire and rocks have him head to the river, while Forever continues his assault of explosions.
He sees Etoiles run in to attack while Forever screams.
“Stop that fucking clock noise.” Forever sounds more lucid than he had their whole conversation.
“You like your mines, Forever?” Bad calls out hoping for something, anything. Another volley, a snarky reply, a head on attack.
All he sees are the purple particles that tells him Forever is gone.
Bad’s not certain If he ever wants Forever to come back.
What he does know is that their conversation has left their relationship irrevocably changed. His heart breaks just a little bit more. Bad never thought he would lose his son and the man he had grown to love in the same week. But the Federation had made an error in taking so much from him. For now he had nothing left to lose.
“It won’t bring Richarlyson back.” He says to the empty spot Forever had last stood.
It’s almost a relief to have Philza take the lead on the discussion when everyone gathers. He understands, it’s all so fresh for the old crow. They discuss killing Forever with clinical detachment, and lay out options for how to go about it. The odds are stacked against them, but Bad has trouble mustering any emotion about it.
He knows that it should be painful to discuss killing Forever. It should hurt him. But in the end there is nothing he wants more than his son, and he will do anything in his power to get Dapper back.
Still…
When the message from Forever comes up he takes the time to read it.
‘Will you please consider the marriage proposal?’ Forever asks, and then adds more rambling nonsense.
He wants to say no. He wants to block Forever. He wishes he never met the man.
But the part of him that rejected the idea that any of this was really happening felt a pang of longing. He wanted so badly for this to be real. Not in the nightmare way it was actually happening, but in the way of his daydreams.
In the way that the eggs would have helped Forever set up the perfect proposal spot. In the way that he would have bragged and celebrated the good news to all of his friends. In the way that they would have married with their children surrounding them.
But that dream was so far from them now.
‘Yeah I’ll think about it.’ Is what he sends back.
And for what it’s worth he means it. He’ll think about it until it drives him crazy. If he never gets Forever back it’s what he’ll dwell on for the rest of his life. If Forever comes back to him it’s what will always give him pause.
They’re doomed now. Bad cannot see a way forward for them. Maybe that’s what is making him extra desperate to get Dapper back.
His son is all the happiness he can allow himself to have.