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Gyrus stretches, before gazing at his apprentice. “Ready, kid?”
Kodya’s blue eyes are bright as he nods eagerly. “You bet! Get ready to be knocked on your ass, old man.” He cracks his knuckles, grinning.
Gyrus chuckles, taking up a battle stance. “Old man? I’m not much older than you, you know,” he reminds, rushing at Kodya.
Kodya’s eyes widen with surprise, and he ducks. “Still, be careful. You might–! Gah!” Kodya hits the ground, his mentor’s elbow hitting him in the head. He groans, rolling onto his back. “You might break a rib,” he grumbles, before standing back up.
Gyrus laughs. “Maybe instead of swapping banter with me, you should focus.” He grins at the slightly taller man.
Kodya huffs, his blue eyes a bit irritated. “You’re a smug bastard, you know that?” He comments, lunging forward.
Gyrus grins, dodging his punch with ease. “I think I deserve to gloat, considering I’m the mentor.”
The two continue to swap blows and banter, despite Gyrus’s warning. Gyrus can’t help but admire Kodya. He’s gotten stronger and faster. And… Gyrus’s eyes drift down to that outfit. That damned V-neck. He watched a bead of sweat roll down the younger man’s neck, following it as it traveled down, down, down, before disappearing underneath Kodya’s shirt. The blow comes a second later, Kodya’s leg sweeping Gyrus’s feet out from under him.
The world tilts and rushes up to meet him as he hits the ground, all the air knocked out of him. Pain shoots up his ankle, and he winces, the world still spinning. You let yourself get distracted. You idiot. And by Kodya’s body, too. Shame wells up in him, but it quickly becomes second on his list of things to deal with as Kodya’s worried face looms over him.
“Are you okay?” Kodya’s voice is full of concern. He crouches down, leaning over his mentor. “I didn’t mean to hit you that hard, I swear!” His blue eyes are full of worry.
“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Gyrus looks up. Kodya’s sapphire eyes are full of concern, and Gyrus’s heart gives a stupid little flutter. He sits up, chuckling, hating himself for the blush he knows is turning him red. “That was actually a really good blow, kid. I’m impressed.” He grins.
The engineer is finding it harder to maintain a straight face, however, when Kodya leans in, his brows still knitted together. “I’m fine. Seriously. You hit me a bit harder than you intended to.” He offers his apprentice another smile, hoping to reassure him. “You worry too much.”
“Yeah.” Kodya quickly looks away, standing up, and Gyrus briefly wonders at how quickly he pulled away. Which is a good thing, because the last thing I need is him inches away from my face, Gyrus reminds himself.
Gyrus nods and takes up a fighting position again, deciding to ignore the fact that his blush has still refused to fade. “Yeah, yeah. Of course. We can continue.” He smirks, trying to act as casually as possible. “It’ll take more than that to keep me down.”
Kodya sighs with relief. “Good,” he says, but his blue eyes seem as though they’re not really focused.
“Hm?” Gyrus tilts his head as Kodya looks away. “What is it, kid? You look distracted.” His expression becomes a little more concerned.
Kodya blinks, his face flushing with embarrassment. “I’m fine.” He rushes forward, but his attack isn’t as focused as it normally is.
Don’t tell me he’s worried about me. Shame wells up inside Gyrus. I’m his mentor. Shouldn’t I be worrying over him? Am I really that pathetic? Gyrus brushes those thoughts out of his head, focusing on the fight. Gyrus counters Kodya’s movements with ease and takes multiple steps forward before launching an all-out offensive on Kodya. He moves quickly and precisely as he throws all kinds of strikes, sending Kodya a little back with each one. Gyrus tries not to act like he’s having fun as he fights, but his smile gives it away. “Kid, you okay? You don’t seem as focused now.” He says as he continues his barrage of powerful blows.
Kodya is fumbling to defend himself, each blow knocking him back further and further. "I-I'm focused," Kodya insists. Bullshit.
“Don’t make me go easy on you, kid.” Gyrus continues his onslaught, sending multiple blows in Kodya’s direction. Every now and then, Kodya manages to catch or block one or two of these strikes as Gyrus continues to press the offense. “Do you need more practice? It’s okay to say so if you do.” Kodya stumbles and Gyrus sweeps his feet out from under him. He hits the ground, landing flat on his back.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Gyrus says as Kodya falls to the ground. He extends a hand to pull him up. “Get your head in the game, kid, and let’s try again.” His words, while stern, don’t hold any malice. Gyrus can feel his face warming as he looks down at the man on the ground. Just from training, he tells himself.
Kodya scowls, taking his hand. "Fine, I'm distracted. Is that what you wanted to hear?" His ears are pink. Kodya’s embarrassed.
Gyrus chuckles. “Why do you sound so defensive, kid?” He smirks and nudges Kodya a little bit. “Why the sudden change in pace? You seemed so eager to fight a couple of seconds ago. Are you, um… maybe afraid for another reason?” Please let it be something else.
Kodya frowns, gazing down at the ground. "I... I just..." His voice trails off. "It's stupid. Promise you won't laugh?" The taller man says quietly, looking down at the older man.
“Kid, I promise to take whatever you’re gonna say seriously,” Gyrus says, looking Kodya deep in the eye. “Just… tell me what’s on your mind, and there won’t be any laughing. I mean it.”
Gyrus gazes up at his apprentice, who fidgets, his blue eyes looking anywhere but at him. "I-I guess I just... got worried.” Gyrus’s heart drops to his shoes as he listens to the younger man nervously start rambling. “After I hit you, you know?" His face is getting increasingly more red. "I-I know you're more than capable of taking care of yourself. I mean, you're a level eight, and I'm a level five. Statistically, it's impossible for me to inflict enough damage to hurt you." He's rambling, fidgeting with his shirt. "But... when I saw you on the ground, I wasn't really thinking about any of that. I was just like, 'Oh shit, is he okay!?' I'm not trying to pamper you, and I certainly don't think you're weak. I'm well aware it's stupid to be so worried over you since you're my mentor, but... I still am." He sighs.
Gyrus can barely hear him. His own thoughts are far too loud. Does he know? No, he can’t know. That’s impossible. Yet he still worries about me. The shadows flicker in the back of his mind, their whispers seeping through the cracks.
He doesn’t know, but he doesn’t need to. Because either way, he sees how pathetic and weak you are.
“...Gyrus? Gyrus!” Gyrus blinks as Kodya’s hand grips his shoulder. He looks up, the shadows receding momentarily at Kodya’s gentle smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine, kid,” Gyrus says with a smile, but Kodya’s brows are furrowed. “You worry too much, kid.”
Kodya’s eyes get distant. “Y-yeah. Maybe I… Maybe I do,” he admits.
Gyrus raises an eyebrow at the expression on Kodya’s face. He pats Kodya on the shoulder. “Well, while you… Think about whatever it is you’re thinking about, I have to go talk to Don. I think we’ve done enough training today.”
Kodya blinks, snapping back to attention. “Wait, Gyrus–,” he begins, but he watches his mentor walk out, cape fluttering behind him. Kodya notices that he's limping slightly, and fear travels down his spine. He wants to run after him, but his words flash through his mind. "You worry too much."
Warm brown eyes and a gentle smile flash through his head, and he reels back. No. It's not the same. Gyrus is... Gyrus doesn't need me.
"Make yourself useful," Ciboulette's voice chimes in his head.
How? Kodya wonders desperately. How can I make myself useful to someone who refuses to accept assistance from anyone? Kodya presses his forehead against the cool surface of the wall, letting the chill push back the memories that slip between the cracks. It's not the same, he tells himself once more. I really do worry too much. Kodya walks out of the training room, but Gyrus's pained face while he was on the ground still plagues him the rest of the day.
*************
Gyrus sighs, running a hand through his hair. The meeting with Don had drained him of all his energy, but he was still awake, unable to sleep. He gazes at himself in the bathroom mirror. He’d learned to cover the dark circles up with concealer. He’d practiced a carefree smile for hours until he felt it was right. He attempts that smile, and cringes, turning away from the mirror. It was so obviously fake, and he hated it. The only thing he hated more than that was the fact that Kodya knew it was fake, too. The constant worried glances and soft suggestions to ‘maybe sit this mission out’ were slowly starting to tear at him.
He walks out of the bathroom, collapsing onto his bed and gazing up at the ceiling. Nights like these were the worst when the shadows thrived on the silence and darkness. There had once been a time when Gyrus could sleep without nightmares, but he can’t even recall when.
Gyrus tries his best to imagine Kodya’s gentle smile, but the thoughts accompanying the thought of his apprentice make his stomach twist with guilt. He’s too young. What would he think, if he knew that you… liked him? Another word dances in the back of his mind, but he refuses to acknowledge it. He won’t, because if he does, there’s no going back. He looks up to you. What’s wrong with you?
Gyrus can feel waves of sleep starting to overcome him, and he struggles to resist, but his eyes drift closed, anyway, yielding to his body’s needs. Gyrus tumbles into a sleep full of nightmares and shadows, and a young man whose blue eyes are filled with pity.