Work Text:
" Is he.... Alive?"
" I believe so."
Hajime sat on the couch, staring at the couch opposite to him, where Shuichi was asleep face down. Completely so, face smushed into the couch cushion. He was worried he wasn't able to breathe like that, but according to Boyfriend number 1 — who was standing in the kitchen eating cereal mixed with cereal and dried strawberry and nothing else — he was fine.
The only reason he was here in this apartment was because his boyfriend told him to wait here instead of his apartment the floor below due to some sort of rat infestation. Which was gross, but understandable why he wasn't keen on letting Hajime stick around there. It was in the middle of being cleaned out by pest control so it wasn't too awful.
Regardless, here he sits in a friend's apartment, staring down Shuichi Saihara the Ultimate Detective face down asleep like a corpse. He wasn't even snoring, which Hajime would have accepted if it meant he was assured that the younger gentleman was alive. His back wasn't moving much either, and for the oddest reason the man's preferred napping position was arms to both sides of him, face down like a particularly believable plank of wood.
He would poke him, but his boyfriend is right there and Hajime has a feeling poking him would look really, really weird.
The only sound in the apartment was the faint clink and crunching of cereal, the entire experience just... Unbearably awkward. He would much prefer just have waited in a park or something.
He'd take having to wait in a nice park then stare at a guy napping.
" It's been a busy day for him," Kiyo pipes up, a saviour to the uneasy silence. "We're pleased he's decided to sleep at all really. I suppose having to spend the past week trying to sniff out a drug cartel in the area wasn't easy for him."
" A- A what."
Kiyo hums behind the cloth mask that he was alway in the habit of wearing, lowering his spoon into the pastel green bowl he was holding. " You understand what a cartel is, I'm sure? Huge organization of businesses under one sort of management to keep competition at a minimum-"
Hajime waves his hand at Kiyo, the other man drifting from his explanation. " Yeah yeah I know what that is. But wait- He's just been doing this alone? Wouldn't, like- The actual honest to goodness police or some secret force help?"
" He is one of the Ultimate Detectives in the area, it would not be outside of his expertise." Kiyo says.
" Still. Alone?"
" I am sure he's had his help here and there. Regardless, the case is closed, and my dear does need his sleep."
"... Couldn't you moved him into bed?"
Kiyo stares him down from where he has yet to move. Hajime shivers a little underneath the sharp gaze Kiyo was giving him. It was creepy.
" Are you just here to judge where Shuichi is to rest in his own home?"
" No, but-"
" You are a guest at the current time, but I will not hesitate to kick you out, regardless of what Nagito feels is best for you."
" I-"
" I suggest you quiet now Hajime Hinata." Kiyo says with a gentle tilt of his head.
Hajime shuts his mouth with an audible click.
He doesn't move from the couch. Even if he wanted to, Kiyo is still standing right there, watching him in silence with his milkless cereal, so snooping would probably not even be humoured.
Shuichi still looks dead. He still can't poke him just to check. Ease his beating heart. Hajime looks up at the clock that hung right above the front door, but not much time has passed since he's first stepped into the apartment. Great. Just great.
Maybe Nagito was held up in traffic. It would be just his luck to be late. He hopes not, because Hajime isn't exactly sure how long he's willing to sit here with a guy who sleeps like he's legitimately dead and a guy who would probably kill him if he moved wrong. Even Rantaro would have been better, at least he's chill about everything. But no, he just had to have been the one outside of the apartment and instead he gets the wonderful audience of funky anthropology man.
Not that he's saying that to Kiyo's face. He can only stand so much staring straight into his soul time.
He taps his foot against the ground, staring at literally anything in the hopes that the time will pass. Maybe he should just get on his phone, watch some Youtube and pass the time.
Kiyo is still eating his cereal. It's not annoying at least. At least Kiyo's being respectful about his... snack. It wasn't even breakfast time, now that Hajime thinks about it.
" Why are you eating cereal at one in the afternoon anyways."
Ah, why did he open his mouth.
Kiyo doesn't say anything for a good long while, just the faint sound of him idly chewing away. Eventually he speaks up. " I am pretending to be a horse."
"... Excuse me."
Kiyo laughs, that hissing sort of quiet laugh, and Hajime stares at him with a confused expression. Kiyo continues to laugh, hand rising up to his mouth despite said mouth being covered already. " Apologies, that is a jest. I am simply craving cereal, that's all."
" With no milk?"
" We ran out."
" Ah."
Kiyo nods, scooping up more dry cereal and strawberries and raising it to the approximation of his lips.
Hajime slowly turns his head away, sighing. Shuichi hasn't budged at all.
"... And you're sure he's alive."
" Yes, as I have said. If you do not believe me, you may poke him. He doesn't bite much."
Hajime blinks, processing the last bit of that statement. " Huh? What did you say?"
" You heard me well and clear, Hajime."
Hajime gestures at the sleeping body. " What do you mean bite-"
Kiyo sighs, and taps the spoon against the rim of the bowl. " I just told you he doesn't bite, did you mishear me?"
" No I heard you the first time-"
" Then what is the matter?"
" You say it as if Shuichi bites at all. Does he?"
There is a beat of silence, then a noncommittal hum.
That isn't exactly promising. Still, he's curious, and still a bit worried if Kiyo's just hasn't noticed his boyfriend suffocated to death on the couch, so he gets up and walks the short distance to Shuichi. He can't even hear him breathe. Hajime extends a hand out, touching Shuichi's shoulder and gently shaking him.
Shuichi's head raises up so fast Hajime fears he got whiplash, Shuichi letting out a confused and long noise.
" See, he is alive." Kiyo says from his eternal post in the kitchen.
" Okay well I see that now-" Hajime grumbles.
Shuichi turns his body, eyes still bleary of sleep and hair sticking to his lips. " Wha.... Hajime? How'd you get in my house?"
" Nagito said I could hang here until he came over. Floor below's got rat problems."
"... Oh. Yeah sorry about that."
" It's fine, not like you're the reason there's rats on the second floor."
Shuichi shrugs, yawning and sitting up proper, rubbing his eyes. Now that Hajime can see his face, he did look tired, eyes a bit dark on the bottom.
" Are you still tired?"
Shuichi shrugs in lieu of an answer. Hajime takes that as a yes.
" Maybe you should head to bed. You might end up passing out on the couch again." Hajime says, Shuichi shaking his head.
" I'll be fine, don't worry."
" You sure?"
Shuichi nods, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. By the looks of it, he's failing miserably. Kiyo swoops in, sitting besides Shuichi and petting at his hair. Shuichi makes a soft noise and immediately flops against Kiyo's shoulder, nuzzling against him.
" Dear, you really should sleep still. Hajime is unfortunately correct."
" Unfortunately?!"
Kiyo ignores him, Shuichi saying something into Kiyo's shoulder. Whatever it was, Kiyo seemed to understand, cradling Shuichi underneath his arm and quietly urging him to stand. Shuichi does so after a minute of Kiyo pulling him up by the armpits, and he waves to Hajime as Kiyo manhandles his boyfriend to the bedroom. Hajime sits back down, as there was nothing else to do except wait some more.
Kiyo doesn't return, thank goodness, but the front door slams open. Hajime's attention shifts to the presence, deflating only slightly when it wasn't his boyfriend. Rantaro waves at him, Hajime waving back.
" Hey dude, Nagito told me to tell you he's in the lobby now."
" Oh, should I...?"
" Either way works. He'll get to you no matter what."
Hajime nods and gets up again, heading to the front door as Rantaro holds it open for him.
" By the way, your boyfriend sleeps like he's dead. It's creepy."
" They both do, but thanks for telling me. See you later Hajime!" Rantaro chirps, waving and shutting the door the moment Hajime slips his shoes back on and steps past the threshold.
Hajime sighs, leaving those weirdos to it as he heads to the elevator to greet his boyfriend who isn't so mildly Off-putting downstairs.