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Echo listened to the upbeat music coming from the courtyard behind him mixed with the evening chittering of the birds nearby. Somehow, with it all muffled by the heavy monastery door, it felt a little more tolerable. Less like he was drowning.
He didn't even want to be here, but he was trying to be more 'social', as Harumi called it. Years of isolation had driven him to the brink of destruction, and even now she worried about him getting there again.
It's not like I would, he thought idly, picking a wildflower growing through the cracks of the old stone steps and turning it over in his hands. It was a dull yellow, almost white in the darkness. I'm not alone like that anymore.
Yes, that was true. He had companionship. Things were different now, so he shouldn't have to do this 'socializing' business with the ninja.
The heavy door behind him creaked and he heard the crescendo of the music as it opened, the way it faded again once it thumped shut. Footsteps shuffled behind him and he listened carefully to determine who it was, but they were a bit more unfamiliar to him. Heavy, purposeful. Almost like his own.
"Hello, brother," Zane said, a little quietly, as he stood beside him. Echo did not bother a glance up, kept analyzing the flower in his palm as though it were a thousand times more interesting. "...You're by yourself out here?"
"It's loud," Echo replied with little enthusiasm. And I don't like it here, but he kept that part unspoken. It was evident anyway.
"Ah, I understand," He felt the shuffle of Zane sitting down beside him and frowned a little deeper, picking the petals off the wildflower and tossing the stem away. He picked another and did the same.
"Oh, that's Master Wu's cinquefoil," Zane picked one of the flowers as well, turning it over to no doubt analyze it. "He grows it for the roots with healing properties, but the flowers are lovely too."
"He shouldn't grow it out on the steps," the younger robot looked at the root stretching down between the cracks of the worn stone, trailing out into one of the sections behind a hill he couldn't see past.
"He's... well, with only so much room up here, he tends to get creative," Zane laughed, but Echo did not. Just kept running the smooth texture of the petals between his thumb and index fingers. They sat in silence for a few minutes; the whole time Echo kept praying the other would get bored and leave.
"Sorry, brother," Zane finally said again, "I'm not good at 'beating around the bush', so to speak. I had asked my friends on how to talk with you, and that was what they suggested." Echo now glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, and found the other nindroid was not looking at him, either.
"...So? You wanted to talk?"
"I do, but I was not sure how to approach you... They said starting a casual conversation would be best, but I'm afraid it's much too hard for me to not simply be upfront."
Echo sighed. It annoyed him so very much, how alike they were in every facet. How he couldn't even begin to deconstruct what Zane said because it was the same kind of thought process he had, once. That was still somewhere within him, buried under lock and key. He hated it.
Why couldn't we have been different? Everything was a reminder of what his creation served. A reminder of what he was.
"Whatever," He said bluntly, fully turning to stare Zane down with narrowed eyes. "Just say your piece and go."
Zane did not seem phased by the sudden aggression. He didn't even flinch. Was it because he was expecting it? Or because that, too, was his own trait simply being mirrored back at him?
"Yes, well. I wanted to talk about that, really," Zane nodded a bit to himself and his bright blue eyes dimmed in sadness. "I know you were hurt by father's actions, and while it took me some time to come to terms with them, ultimately I feel nothing but anger and disappointment at the way you were treated. At what you had to resort to."
"I didn't have to resort to anything," Echo said defensively, "It was my choice."
"Right," the other nodded again, clearly not believing, but understanding. "I want to have a relationship with you, unburdened by our father's mistakes. If I had known you were there-"
"There's no point in 'ifs'. You can't take back what happened."
"I know that," Zane said evenly, not missing a beat. "I wish I could, but I know that well. I would not wish that solitude onto my worst enemy, let alone my own brother. Yet it happened," his voice grew just a bit distant, eyes weary.
"Your wishes are meaningless," Echo did not snap at him, simply stated a fact. "You could not begin to understand what it was like."
"I..." Zane shifted in a way that made the other look smaller, for once, eyes shut and shoulders drawn just a bit. "If anyone could understand, it would be me--"
Echo grew hot. "No, you couldn't. All these years, where have you been? Among your friends and comrades, never on your own. You could not understand my-"
"-Alone, no way of knowing if you would ever see anyone ever again, if anyone would even come for you, if the world would forget you entirely. If the silence would one day drive you mad. What would happen when it did," Zane rattled off, looking a bit haunted, eyes still shut and brow pulled tight and posture hunched. He didn't even seem like he was talking to Echo anymore, and the younger just stared at him. Taken aback, if anything. Not sure what to make of it.
"And when it did, the kind of atrocities you would commit- out of fear, confusion. Perhaps I do not understand your motives entirely, and I know you hate me. But please do not believe I could not sympathize with you," Zane's eyes met his, and the usual cool refreshing blue felt a little colder then, a little more like the ice that burnt on skin, a feeling he did not know but one he'd heard about many times. The way the eyes felt on his own was probably close to it.
"Zane," Echo said carefully. He did not reach out for his brother, just stayed eying him. The other began controlling his somewhat erratic breathing. The creep of the frost across the stone, Echo watching as several of the cinquefoil flowers choked in the cold and withered quickly.
"I..." Zane breathed out quietly, and closed his eyes again, body shuddering as though it too were cold. He let out a long breath, and his eyes were the usual chilly blue, and he hung his head just a little. "I apologize. I lost myself for a moment there."
" Lost yourself, " Echo repeated, a bit incredulously. "You looked seconds from killing me. What the hell is wrong with you?"
"There's nothing-" He looked half convinced of the truth of that statement, but sighed again. "I.. did some things, not too long ago. Things I'm not proud of. As a result of being isolated for far too long, susceptible to such dangerous ideas..."
Echo frowned.
"I've wasted much of your time," Zane said, folding his hands in his lap. "Let us get back on track. I want to start over with you, if you'd let me."
"Don't change the topic," Echo stared at him, "What happened to you?"
Zane looked visibly uncomfortable, and also like he regretted ever mentioning it in the first place. Like it was something he took every chance to avoid, ignore as though it never existed. Echo hated how much he understood that. He hated how even now, they were practically the same in every way. Not even his pain was unique to him.
"I just... did some things, as I said."
"You hurt people?"
Zane went quiet, and the answer laid in the air.
"How many?" Echo asked, and Zane looked down at his hands. "Tens? Hundreds?"
"I don't know," Zane said, and he seemed honest. "I didn't care."
"I see."
"Please, do not mention this to your companions," his older brother looked at him so desperately. "I haven't... told the ninja about it. Only Lloyd knows."
"It's not like I talk to the ninja, anyway."
"But the others-- Morro, Harumi, don't tell them either."
"Right, right, I won't," Echo mumbled dismissively. "They wouldn't believe me anyway. Mister perfect having a kill count? They'd think I have a bolt loose."
"I'd... rather you didn't joke about it like that. I'm not perfect by any means," Zane frowned. "Is that what you think?"
"Hard not to."
Zane seemed to understand what his implications were, and frowned deeper. "Like I said, if I had known--"
"Doesn't matter now," Echo interrupted him sharply. "You want to start over, right? Okay, do me a favor and go away."
"There's no reason to act-"
" No ," Echo crushed one of the flowers in his shaking hands, "There is reason. You are perfect , Zane. You were then, you are now. No matter how much you go through, or even what you do, you're still surrounded by love. You could kill hundreds, thousands-- do you think any of the people in there would turn you away afterwards? I don't."
"Brother-" Zane started, trying to set a hand on his shoulder, but the other slapped him away.
"No, you don't get to call me that. I'm tired of you, of being like you. I'm tired of not understanding why, when we're exactly the same , that things are so different. Why you're so much better ."
"I am not!"
Echo had not heard him shout in a long time. Not with that much intensity, with that much seriousness. It was only now that he felt the frost creeping up his legs, small chunks of ice beginning to stitch him to the ground. The cinquefoil was completely frozen over now, petals preserved in a case of ice.
He tried to kick it away, to pull his legs free, but they stuck uselessly. This was different than the usual ice Zane used. He looked back up at the other, who had that same bone-chilling glow to his eyes.
"Let me go," Echo insisted, and Zane did not respond, mouth forming a line. "Let me go , Zane. Are you even listening?"
He suddenly annoyed at the ninja for playing the music of the party so loudly. Even if he shouted, it was unlikely anyone would hear him. How long had it been since Zane approached him? Probably around twenty or so minutes. If Morro or Harumi had seen him go out, surely they would begin to grow worried.
"You will listen to me," Zane said, voice low and serious. "I am not perfect , as you say. I cannot undo what father did, but I can do everything in my power to make it up to you. I am not better than you, I am something far worse."
Echo stayed silent for a moment.
"Just as you betrayed your programming, as did I," Zane continued, "Would that not make us both failures in the eyes of father?"
"...I am tired of hearing about that man," was all Echo offered.
"Then listen to me, brother; let us try again. Just us, without father in the way. I will not leave you behind."
Echo felt his hands shake still, the flower he crumbled nothing but a small mess on the ground at this point. He found himself unable to look at the blue eyes staring into his own, glancing away, at anywhere else.
"...Do whatever you want," he mumbled.
"No, I will not take that as an answer," Zane insisted, "Do you want to try? Yes, or no. After you answer, I will leave."
Echo considered him. I don't know. He wasn't sure what to make of the offer. Perhaps this was how Harumi felt when Lloyd offered her a hesitant truce, a quiet agreement on tentative friendship. Unable to move past pain, yet willing to build something new atop it.
"...Okay, sure. Whatever gets you to stop trying to turn me into a popsicle," Echo muttered, looking down at his half frozen legs. Zane blinked, and looked down as well, a small shock on his face as though he weren't even aware of what had been happening.
The ice melted in an instant, water seeping into the stone and dripping off of the flower petals.
"Do you really mean it?" Zane looked at him expectantly. "Or are you just agreeing to get me off your back?"
"Yeah," Echo said, "To both."
"That is better than nothing, I suppose," Zane sighed, but it was as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Echo felt a little lightheaded. Though he no longer required his water tank to be filled to power himself, he sometimes had the ghost of a feeling like when his source was low. It made him almost dizzy, ready to fall over. It made him scared too. The last time it had happened, he wouldn't have woken up if not for others' help.
"You should go back inside now. Any longer out here, and they're gonna think I pushed you off another cliff," Echo chuckled dryly, and Zane frowned a little bit.
"You would not do that."
"Tell that to your family. They all look at me like I'm seconds away from ripping you to shreds. Was the damage really that bad last time?"
"I'd rather not talk about that fight. I was distracted by trying to figure out your identity," Zane said defensively. "If we're talking about losing fights, then-"
"Oh, yeah, when you crushed me with a billboard-! I remember!"
"I said I was sorry," Zane frowned. "I did not know."
"It's fine," Echo shook his head. "I was just joking with you. No need to take everything so seriously. I'm done with evil, remember?"
Zane nodded.
"Then ask your family to remember it too. Kai always looks like he wants to tackle me," Echo said, "What is that guy's problem? Even Lloyd is over it by now."
"...He tends to hold extensive grudges. I'm afraid Morro only recently came into good standing with him, and it's been nearly seven years since our conflict against him."
The monastery door creaked with movement, and the pair looked up to see it opening.
"Oh, you're both here still," Nya poked her head out from the door, but did not fully join them. She looked at Echo warily, and he avoided her gaze entirely.
"Yes, we were just finishing up our chat. We will return inside soon," Zane assured her, and she nodded.
"...Cole's insisting that you gave him permission to eat the cake early."
"I- what?" Zane pinched the bridge of his nose and rose slowly. He looked at Echo apologetically. "Thank you for chatting with me, brother. I hope this conversation had as much meaning for you as it did me," he smiled faintly, and his hand twitched as though he wanted to give him a pat on the shoulder, but he kept it to himself. Echo only nodded at him.
Zane gave him another smile and followed Nya through the door, but Echo remained on the steps, hands folded in his lap as he looked out into the now dark sky.
A fresh start...
He looked down at the cinquefoil, flowers now dry from where they'd been frozen before. Despite that, they stayed perked up in the direction the sun had been a few hours prior.
I'll give it a shot, I guess.